Alfano's Pizzeria

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Alfano's Pizzeria is a family restaurant located on Main St. in Galesburg, Illinois. Their pizza is typically ordered after 2:00 AM and while under an altered state of consciousness. Nobody actually likes their pizza, excepting the truly glorious pizza vagina.


You can order one now. But if you are ordering pizza vagina, be sure to call it a stuffed breadstick because otherwise they will get mad at you.

[edit] The Old Cowboy

Your order will most likely be delivered by an older gentlemen donning a cowboy hat and more ice around his neck than the Cash Money Millionaires. He also sports a giant belt buckle. If you are a female, he will stare at your ass. Rumor has it that in his earlier years, he frequented TKE parties.

Be sure to wait at your door with money in hand, otherwise the cowboy will be angry. However, if for whatever reason you have a feeling that this guy will yell at you (i.e., not enough money for a decent tip), find a female suite-mate to pick up your pizza. Rest assured, you will get your pizza lecture and hassle-free.

[edit] Phone numbers

If you call on the second number and want to use a credit card, they'll make you hang up and call back on the first number. Their credit card machine is hooked up to the second line and it has to be open to run the number through.

  • 309 343 8718
  • 309 341 0288
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