Anti-Philosophy Club

Anti-Philosophy Club is a system of clicks and beeps. It exists (and some years ceases to exist, only to rise again) as a club, and periodically gets real money from Student Senate. Mostly, APC exists as Knox's enema.

History

Throughout the club's history, activities have trended from the absurd to the mundane; actively pranking campus, to awkward discussions about how to dissolve the club, and then reform again in the next room so that we could ditch that one girl.

1999-2003

Often referred to as the Classical Period, notable yarns include:

• Thanks to a loophole found in the Student Senate constitution concerning student referenda, the president of APC attempted an overthrow of Student Senate. Keiran would install himself as Emperor, other APC loyals as his ministers, and then completely abolish Student Senate. This plan was thwarted by an emergency, overnight meeting of the Deans.

• The "Existential Angst Releasitorium" is planned as a catharsis carnival. Features would include a kiddie pool full of pudding, and a "box the Dean" boxing ring. Also proposed but never enacted: Anti-Flunk Day, where APC members would get drunk in the morning and go to someone else's classes all day.

• The first APC Debates were held.

• One of the members had a very sympathetic hamster, named God. God died while at Knox. The APC organized a public funeral for God, including posters stating "God is Dead. Now come to God's funeral!" After lying in state, God was presented for a viewing and wake at the Gizmo. Then, pall bearers, singing "There is a Balm in Gilead", transported God to a small plot on the South side of the caf. There, God was placed in a modest grave, with a pile of food for the afterlife, a libation, and pennies on her eyes. We'll miss you, God.

• A formal budget is proposed, including funds for APC's first speaker, and a mechanical bull. Author, Radical, and former Highlander School Trustee, Frank Adams was the APC's first guest speaker. Also, UB stole our idea for a mechanical bull, and rented one for Flunk Day. They are sneaky.

2003-2005

Often referred to as the Romantic Period:

• APC used Student Senate funds to purchase both a gorilla costume, and a banana costume. The gorilla/banana dialectic makes an appearance at many college functions.

• APC was an instrumental force in the creation of The Roger Taylor Lounge in the basement of Sherwin-Neifert.

• The Uncle Grandpa was established as the official drink of the APC.

• A militant wing of the club made an effort to secure a B2 Bomber to facilitate their war on the campus chapter of D.A.R.E. Tragically, those funds were not approved by Student Senate. Luckily, by the end of the campaign, D.A.R.E. had no surviving members.

• It was in this time period that a concerted effort was made to spread the tenets of post-bunkism resulting in a chapter of APC forming on the campus of Illinois Weslyan University.

Present Day

Have you guys even tried?

(no)

Resources

• Harry Frankfurt's On Bullshit