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 6 Feet Android
Brian Lowe is tall, and thin. His shock of red hair is visible at a distance. He is pensive, and slow to speak. I have mixed feelings about Brian. He is living and breathing all that is inked, penned, typed, anythinged, into our language. He feasts on it. He dreams of taking words to bed, and laying with the pretty ones, and tangling up with the beautiful ones, and puzzling with the complicated ones. You can hear it in his speech, but I'm not sure if I like it.
I saw him once riding a bicycle. He was standing, too big for it, but pumping away, and it looked like the thing was just along for the ride. It was winter, and his cheeks were flushed, and he looked for all the world like he knew where he was going.
He is GAA(A!). He, like all other GAA(A)s, created GAAAA(A) in his own image.
 Terrible Accident
Brian is not at Knox this term because of a terrible accident. He is in a coma and confined in a full-body cast.
However, this GAA(A!) can still communicate through a mediator, so there are still signs of brain activity. Hope is not lost.
As everyone knows, with the possible exception of rappers, October is the best month (though there are lobbyists and activist judges who support April). In October, the winds cool the air enough to let Brian unleash the awesome fury of his sweaters upon the glacier-leveled Midwest. Despite his mysterious whereabouts, there have been unconfirmed sightings of tall redheads in spectacular sweaters throughout the Bible Corset (the area above the Bible Belt and below the Bible Bonnet). Could these rumors be true? Has the infamous academic criminal and malcontent really resurfaced? Has he finally reached his true power? Stay tuned to the next episode of The Wiki Firecrotch to find out!