Flunk Day 2016

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[edit] Want to join in the fun?

But don't know how? Visit the new How to edit the wikifire page for a quick rundown of the steps for how to edit this (and any other) page!

But seriously, the more contributors we have, the more fun it gets. No matter how crazy your theory or evidence (or lack thereof), we want to hear it. More activity equals more hype, and more hype equals a better Flunk for all.

[edit] Long ago in a galaxy far far away...

"If people don't play in the mud pit next year, I'm not donating to Knox... I will be withholding all ten of my dollars... Apparently there were a combination of factors that caused its downfall [in 2015]. But as our nation's first president, Bruce Springsteen, once said, 'maybe everything that dies someday comes back.'" - Roger Taylor

[edit] Wednesday, March 23rd

Let the games begin bitches!!

Tuesday, FB, Matt Sugai: "Flunk Day is tomorrow. Pass it on." Whoa, deja vu... <--- 52 likes <--- CONFIRMED by perennial Flunk Day Planner Cassie McLaughlin

Flunk Day planners-- Cassie McLaughlin? <-- CONFIRMED, I heard from her last term that she's planning again!! Kati stemple? <-- CONFIRMED! Heard Kati has a class she can skip a paper in? Indicatory of the flunk, perhaps? Vlad Papancea? <--- He has junior status! Naomi Morishita?<--CONFIRMED, overheard her telling another person

[1:34pm] Kati stemple spotted at Dollar General buying two Flunk Day jugs. Double fisting? Edward Flunky Hands? Predicting an early Flunk!

[edit] Thursday, March 24th

Tonight is the night - where we will learn the flunk theme and the first friar hopefuls will sign up. Place your bets and predictions here:

The Flunk Awakens?

The Flunk Games?

Super Flunk? Guardians of the Flunk?

Medieval Flunk? The Knights of the Flunk?

What will it be?

[5:37] Helmut Mayer (or his evil twin???) spotted at Walmart. Flunk Day Confirmed

[8:48] The theme has been revealed: Night of the Living Flunk <-- CONFIRMED!! We have zombies

[edit] Sunday, March 27th

[3:12pm] Jesus spotted rising from the dead. ZOMBIE. The flunk must be upon us.

[4:20pm] Praise it. Blaze it. Easter Flunk.

[edit] Tuesday, March 29

Too early for Flunk? I say it's NEVER too early to Flunk <-- CONFIRMED, Flunk Day is tomorrow

[7:41pm] Lights spotted still on in the Campus Life office long after all other offices are closed. Making last minute preparations or just putting in extra hours to prepare for an early Flunk this year? THIs COuLD BE HUgE

[edit] Wednesday, March 30th

The Flunk Gods have smiled down upon us. With tonight's wonderful rainstorms, tomorrow there will be wonderful MUD!!! Portents of things (and pits) to come? I think so!!

Seniors heard turning up all night in Hamblin on a weeknight. Do they know something we don't?

[edit] Saturday, April 2nd

[1:40 PM] Kati Stemple overheard telling her parents what Flunk Day is. Secret Planners? <-- Confirmed. Entirely a planner, less than secret. <--The joke explained: Her parents are secret planners.

[edit] Sunday, April 3rd

A wild blood splatter has been spotted in Seymour Union. Zombie blood? The flunk is upon us! Picture: http://oi65.tinypic.com/339rpqr.jpg Another "wiped out" splatter found on the path towards the library. THIS IS HUGE!!!!!!!!! -> http://oi63.tinypic.com/2qwfslg.jpg

[edit] Tuesday, April 5th

[5:17 PM] Travis spotted in the Gizmo, and back from his Honeymoon. You know Flunk Day could never happen without him...

[edit] Thursday, April 7th

Matt Sugai noted a spike in respiratory illnesses on campus this week. ...or are they simple respiratory illnesses? <-- Zombification beginning? This could be HUGE <--- PDS (Partially Deceased Syndrome) anyone?

[edit] Monday, April 11th

Ren Barkey's cat [SMore] is almost done with her heat, Flunk Day can't happen until SMore gets better.

I found this place http://www.fwworld.com/newattractions.html that has all kinds of flunk equipment. Somebody give them a call to ask about their delivery to Knox College and ask about the date!

[edit] Tuesday, April 12

Seniors are changing their profile photos to embrace the Flunk? Will it be upon us soon???? <-- CONFIRMED Annie Ford, Rohail Khan, Flunk Day planner Kati Stemple (!!), and many more are changing over!

Elise Goitia spotted in Caf carrying a water gun. Perhaps arming herself for a huge Flunk Day water fight against a horde of strange hydrophobic zombies???

Becky Benner rescued a baby squirrel from being attacked by a larger, older squirrel yesterday afternoon, sustaining scratches in the process. Today, she's not feeling so well. Squirrels can transmit rabies, and the rabies virus is the basis for the Rage Virus of the 28 Days Later franchise... ZOMBIFICATION CONFIRMED. THIS COULD BE HUGE!

Today's Kati Stemple's birthday, so she's not doing homework today. Flunk Tomorrow?

Could this be a sign that the flunk is upon us?! https://www.facebook.com/okmagazineuk/videos/vb.100276386686649/1004237359623876/?type=2&theater <--CONFIRMED!!

UB seniors getting turnt off campus--getting ready for tomorrow?

[edit] Wednesday, April 13th

No Flunk Day, but the first Flunk Scare! Incidentally, this year's first Flunk Scare occurred on the one year anniversary of last year's first Flunk Scare!

Mudpit gains sentience, starts Facebook account apparently? Check it out: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100011678748903

[edit] Friday, April 15th

Last Admitted Students Day - All dates from here on out are fair game <-- Flunk Day has happened on Admitted Students Day before. Tomorrow is always Flunk Day. Never lose hope. The velociraptors will catch you otherwise. <--- tru <--- But it's also a Friday. They would be breaking a lot of cardinal rules of the Flunk for it to be on this day.

For the last 3 years, Deb Southern has emailed students about Flunk Day information. I don't see it straying from this trend this year. <-- Didn't you get the memo? The velociraptors will catch you if you lose hope

There have been an unsettling number of cats in the business of making kittens spotted on campus. Could it be hormones in the food? Chemtrails? Or maybe ...the flunk approaches?

[edit] Monday, April 18th

10:43 PM: is it tomorrow?

[edit] Tuesday, April 19th

[1:13 PM] THE FLUNK INFORMATION EMAIL HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN SENT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT - THE FLUNK EMAIL HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY SENT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL <-- this happened on monday not tuesday i hope you didn't think today was tuesday the whole day

[edit] Wednesday, April 20th

  1. confirmed

[1] <-- Source?? Clearer picture?? It's so small I can't read almost any of it. 20th? 26th? Can't tell.

Kati Stemple pissed that the schedule leaked <--CONFIRMED!

UPS driver mentions that "Flunk Day must be coming up pretty soon," has knowing smile.

They honestly can't expect college students to not open any windows or doors on 4/20. Cover-up for Flunk Day? [2]

[5:07] The schedule from this entry was posted to Yik Yak not long ago, but it has come down incredibly quickly... Planners covering their tracks?? THIS COULD BE HUGE

[6:45] the flunk day schedule from here is back up on Yik Yak

Someone go check Walmart and the hotel parking lots for trucks <--There were trucks! CONFIRMED! <-- Were they Entertainment Avenue trucks? Cuz there are always trucks. The question is if they're the RIGHT trucks. <-- Confirmed. Saw white trucks, unmarked. THIS IS HUGE.

[9:13 PM] Union Board Seniors and the junior Secret Flunk Day Planner are having their "weekly dinner". Flunk Day tomorrow. <--CONFIRMED

[10:59] On the way to check hotel parking lots, it was discovered that a section of south street is closed for construction between Prairie and Kellogg. Could be because of the new art building, but more importantly this is #suspicious.

[11:08] Just got conformation that the road block is due to a 6 foot deep hole in the road being dug up, from the bottom to the top. Could the construction of the new art building have been zoned a top a lost grave site? Has the promise of a building specific to art students awoken something terrifying and malicious in the corpses that lay beneath? Are the zombies angered that when they were art majors, they didn't get a building entirely to themselves? Only time will tell, but our answers will come soon.

[11:25] flunk watch: Yik yak is blowing up with posts about flunk day

Mail room lights are on! Flunk day confirmed?

Can I get a hooyaah? <-- HOOYAAH

[12:28] Dog spotted in Hamblin. Because no pet owner wants their dog to miss out on the impending Flunk

[edit] Thursday, April 21st

[8:34 PM] Senior UB member Hanh Bui and Jazmine Kenny, roommate of Flunk planner Kati Stemple, spotted with friends drinking and discussing the glories of 4/20. Could they be preparing for a flunky Thursday?

Freshman are being driven around by upperclassmen to get their first stashes. They can sense it in their fresh blood.

[8:48 PM] Hanh Bui, senior UB member, seen making drinks for friends to start the Flunk season off right. "Flunk day is tomorrow" as she is chugging a mixed drink.

[8:55 PM] "I need to buy an air horn. I need to buy a FUCKING AIR HORN." --Jazmine Kenny <-- Finally got a air horn supplied by Maddie Dana

Yik Yak has spoken: "The mud pit demands a virgin sacrifice!!!!!!!!!" [3] <-- And here is our glorious pit at dawn. Still a bit small, but well-churned and awaiting it's sacrifice

[9:32 PM] Campus has been entirely too quiet and not smelly enough for a proper 4/20... everyone saving it all up for tomorrow?

[10:49 PM] Belligerently drunk humans heard attempting (and failing) to shout their excitement about Flunk Day to the heavens. Or at least that's what I assume they were shouting - very few real words appeared to be used.

[11:19 PM] Jazmine Kenny and Hanh Bui AND Hyunjin Jung (Senior Class President) seen getting drunken snacks and fueling up for the impending flunk??

[edit] Friday, April 22nd

Earth Day Flunk Day? <-- Predictions of an early Flunk abound, so perhaps. Also, what's better for the Earth than all of those lovely, decomposing Zombie bodies? <--But are they organic? <-- Are they gluten free? <--- Are they vegan? <--- What does a vegan zombie say? GRRRAAAAAAAAIIINNNSSS...

wtf you guys its not going to be on a Friday. <-- Flunk Day is always tomorrow. If you say otherwise, the zombies will get you

Via Facebook: "When is Flunk Day? :D" - Matt Sugai <--- "Tomorrow." - Cassie McLaughlin <--- EARTH DAY/FRIDAY FLUNK CONFIRMED!

Tevin Liao, mailroom spy extraordinaire, reported that several massive boxes arrived today for Travis. They were never processed by the mailroom because Travis swooped in an snuck them out the back door right away. Sounds like Flunk goodies!!! As far as a next-week Flunk Day, THIS COULD BE HUGE

[5:51] I'm pretty sure it wasn't today... but I just regained consciousness from my 4/20 escapades so I might have missed it. HOLY CRAP WAS IT YESTERDAY!?!

[edit] Monday, April 25th

Shirt sales wrapped up on Friday, and the Flunk goodies likely came in on the same day - Early Monday Flunk?


YO! CLASS OF 2016! STEP UP YOUR GAME!!! YOU CALL THOSE PITIFUL ATTEMPTS FLUNK DAY SCARES!?! WEAK!!! <-- Well today is going to be flunk day or there is gonna be a massive scare... so...


Monday Flunk won't happen. Too many concerns about people partying from Sunday into Monday. The theme is Zombies not alcohol poisoning! <-- Has happened on a Monday before, and it works because very few people anticipate it. This doesn't rule it out. <--- Its been either monday or Wednesday for the past few years, I'm pretty sure a Monday flunk is pretty predictable. SAME GOES FOR YOU WEDNESDAY the 27th!!!

Flunk day is gonna be on the 26th! I KNOW FOR SURE! SOMEONE MAKE A ENTRY FOR THAT DAY! IDK HOW!!! :'( <-- your wish has been granted

Planner Cassie McLaughlin showed me her Flunk jug! She says she can't wait to use it, but will not confirm a Flunk Day this week! THIS IS HUGE!!!!!! <--- Confirmed! i saw it, zombies and red glitter all over it she decorated in post lobby like so obvious. <----- CONFIRMED MONDAY FLUNK CONFIRMED #getturnt #ineedanotherfifth

Jess Ranard the #flunkqueen who #getsrowdy will be in town so it's DEFINITELY flunk day #digthepit #nickelback #undierun2016

[9:35 PM] KATI SPOTTED IN WALMART BUYING HER FLUNK DAY STASH!!!! FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED <---- pics or it didn't happen <---- [4]

[9:42PM] All the good mixers are cleaned out of the C-store - Everybody's stashing up!

[9:52 PM] CASSIE WAS SO MAD TO SEE THE FLUNK ISSUE OF TKS SITTING IN POST LOBBY. Literally heard her say "this is supposed to be confidential, everything is ruined!" also she was carrying a bag from the quickie <---- it's the Flunk Day issue from two years ago. We have extras in the pub office. This year's issue is still confidential. <--- PICS OF THE NEW ISSUE OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN

[10:01 PM] Prepare your booze, the flunk is coming!!!!

[10:04 PM] Junior Riya Tiwari has decorated her flunk day jug. THIS COULD BE HUGE! <----- confirmed! jug as per usual is glittery as fuck

[10:17 PM] Travis is doing laundry. THIS COULD BE HUGE

[10:37 PM] Kasich and Cruz form alliance to take down Donald Drumpf Flunk Day confirmed

[10:43 PM] TRUCKS SEEN AT THE HOTELS DRIVE BY CONFIRMED<----FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED[5] (brought to you by Margaret Pinkerton)

[10:55 PM] New York Islanders win a playoff series for the first time since 1993 THIS COULD BE HUGE

[10:58 PM] CASSIE AND KATI PLANNING TO GO THE QUICKIE. THIS!! IS!! HUGEEEE!!!!

[11:18 PM] Trains blowing in the distance!!! Flunk confirmed.

[11:20 PM] Roger Taylor spotted in the bell tower takin' a big hit on the ol' 10 footer. F l u n k f l u n k f l u n k <<<---- CONFIRMED, ROGER TAYLOR IS TRIPPIN WITH Edward Flunky Hands

[11:20PM (ish)] Group of femme people drive by the quads screaming "it's flunk day tomorrow!" [11:34 PM] Someone needs to go check and see if the mail room lights are on. <---- yik yak says they are on!


[11:48 PM] Coltan saw a flunk day planner hurrying and buying alcohol. She then told him "see you tomorrow." (!!!!) The past few years before flunk day, professor Matsuda gave no homeworks due before flunk day, and he didn't give my friend homework this weekend. Flunk confirmated

[11:49 PM] I am F5ing this so hard. Flunk confirmed

[11:55 PM]Confirmation by Dave Hoffman... can't get more real than this. Proof! <-- That's not Dave Hoffman... you are false

[12:00 AM] Alumni and known friend of Kati seen at Cherry!!!!!!! Flunk day tomorrow!!!!!<---- Pics or it didnt happen. People going cray at midnight-

[12:00 AM] It's officially my parakeet's first birthday, today's the day!

[12:11 AM] Rosie Castle was seen driving her soccer mom van, screaming "it's flunk day, motherfuckers". Flunk Day confirmed.

[12:33 AM] Zanger apt is already turning up...Flunk Day confirmed

[12:42 AM] Jazmine Kenny spotted screaming outside her balcony about secrets of the flunk to her trusted Beta friends...Flunk CONFIRMED

[12:59 AM] Flunk day planner Kati and her roommate Jazmine are cleaning their apartment at one AM while using a new febreez scent called Flunk Day...the whole campus can smell it in the air.

[1:18 AM] Police cars driving by the quads, getting ready for flunk in the morning?

[3:51 AM] Car honked its horn. Rallying friends for flunk day?

Greatest scare ever. No Flunk day!

[edit] Tuesday, April 26th

Softball games against MacMurray College cancelled, THIS COULD BE HUGE [6] <------- CONFIRMED! And all remaining games are home-games, which are much easier to reschedule/fake us out with.

HOLY CRAP BATMAN! I Just saw a trailer with zombies in it at the Walmart!

Schneider Calc test---------->Flunk Day Confirmed!

Baseball and softball play tomorrow... No flunk day sorry guys <-- Games get moved and dates get faked

Campus events email topped with a lovely little zombie story - Travis's way of subtly telling us it's tomorrow? [7]

[4:50 PM] TKS member Tawni Sasaki had to skip out early from a club meeting to go work on the paper. Pub night is usually Wednesdays. TKS staff frantically putting together the Flunk Paper in preparation for tomorrow? <----TKS makes the flunk day issue at the beginning of spring term.

[6:10 PM] YOU GUYS. The games are canceled on the other schools' website but not on ours!!! <----- Where does it say this?

No chance it's going to be Tuesday, it's housing day. <-- You guys really think that can't be rescheduled?? It's run by the same office in charge of Flunk Day

[8:52 PM] There's a whole lot more whooping and hollering in Hamblin than a normal Monday night...

[10:11 PM] Air horn heard on campus. It is a known fact that Jazmine Kenny, roommate of Flunk Planner Kati Stemple, owns an air horn. Put up to the task by our planner extraordinaire? <--Known fact that Maddie Dana supplied Jazmine's air horn

[10:28 pm] WHY DOES IT SEEM LIKE THERES AN UNUSUAL AMOUNT OF TRAIN HORNS TONIGHT. <-- It's all about the horns. Everything is about the horns. They're trying to send you coded messages that FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW

(10:38 pm) i'm stuck on the toilet please send help <-- That is the worst possible place to be caught by Zombies. I am sorry for your demise, friend <-- Yesterday Hanh Bui was stuck in a closet with a toilet. THIS COULD BE HUGEEEEE!!!!!!!

[11:46 PM] Jazmine Kenny spotted running to Walmart! THIS COULD BE HUGE!<-- ran because already drank her flunk day stash and needed more for tomorrow! FLUNK IS UPON US! <-- Pics? Somebody get me pics stat

If there was a scare yesterday, flunk day is obviously not until next week......<----that's not how scares work, my friend <--CONFIRMED <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED TIMING OF SCARES DOES NOT EFFECT THE FLUNK

[11:55 PM] Cassie comments "Flunk Day confirmed y'all" on a facebook post in response to "it's tomorrow"

[11:56 PM] Flunk Day planner Kati Stemple announced that flunk day is CANCELED! <--NOT CONFIRMED

[12:13 AM] Are you ready? Cuz this human is ready. You better be ready.

Former Flunk day planner Ashlee Pitts posted a picture [8] saying she misses the flunk spirit. I think she is giving us hints.

[12:33 AM] Lights are still on in Kati's apartment. Working on homework? Or working on the Flunk?

[12:50 PM] Airhorn heard outside Hamblin

[edit] Wednesday, April 27th

There are predictions of early Flunk, and this date is close to the past three years' dates but not overlapping - looks pretty likely...

                               .....            
                              X X  /     ________________________       
                             /<   /    <(ME WANT FLUNKING BRAINS!)
              ___ __________/_#__=o      ````````````````````````       
             /(- /(\_\________   \              
             \ ) \ )_      \o     \             
             /|\ /|\       |'     |             
                           |     _|             
                           /o   __\             
                          / '     |             
                         / /      |             
                        /_/\______|             
                       (   _(    <              
                        \    \    \             
                         \    \    |            
                          \____\____\           
                          ____\_\__\_\          
                        /`   /`     o\          
                        |___ |_______|.. . 

Looked at the event calendar and there is nothing on this day aside from pre-enrollment and a club meeting. Of even more interest is the fact that block housing is on the 26th only - doesn't block usually go for two days... Very suspicious<- Block was one day last year- Not confirming this date <----CONFIRMED LETS FLUNK!!!

I have a friend who managed to get in touch with Dolores O'Riordan (the lead singer of the Cranberries) she said that it was not out of the realm of possibility that they would be performing there hit song for Knoxies on this day. <--- CONFIRMED my cousin is seeing them live in Wisconsin on Sunday the 24th! The band is in the area!

This is both Rup and Cough Kid's prediction. It must be true. <----- The Rup-inator has been accurately predicting the 'Day of Flunk' for almost a decade if this isn't the best evidence of a Wednesday Flunk idk what is...

tamott spotted with lizard posse. mating season disturbed by the upcoming flunk.

No events planned for this day! None that can't be canceled at least!

I just started dating this really cute undead girl. Yeah Warm Bodies style don't judge! She said that the rest of her horde would be arriving sometime midweek. So yeah Night of the Living Flunk is going to be on this day.

Junior Riya Tiwari tweeted saying flunk day is this day and proceeded to delete it immediately so I TRUST HER? <----confirmed but why would she know? <========CONSPIRACY OR HUGE

Flunk Day Planner Kati Stemple seen huddled in a dark corner of Seymour Library Murmuring "I will not get weird, I will not get weird" Many Knox partiers such as Stemple drink on Wednesdays, titling the party night "weird Wednesday." IT IS A SIGN. <-------- OK, but to be fair she does that basically every Monday evening.

Kati Stemple has made her official Flunk Day predictions just like everyone else and they're for the 27th and 28th. Possibility 1: it's definitely not these days and she's faking us out. Possibility 2: she expects we will think she's faking us out and will discount these days, thus making it safe to put down a prediction on the real day. In the case of 2, Flunk Day is rarely a Thursday, so Wednesday it is!!!

[12:10 PM] Rahil Savani revealed his Pre-enrollment theory. Apparently Flunk Day is always within a week after Pre-enrollment starts, and that was Monday... In the past 3 years, flunk day has been within 2 days of the pre-enrollment period....so Flunk Day could be Wednesday?!!<========CONFIRMED!!!!!<-----"but, there are always outliers!" -Rahil Savani UPDATE! Another theory came out by the one and only genius of the flunk Rahil Savani who says his "good year, bad year" weather theory will come true...the flunk is near!

[12:25 PM] Daniel Hong brings back "no bev", apparently he tries to bring that movement back every year right before flunk day...coincidence? I don't think so!

[12:36 PM] Daniel Hong is speechless, this never happens! Is he keeping secrets of the flunk?

[1:19 PM] Professor Larry Welch predicts the flunk happening tomorrow, if it's not Flunk Day...it will be Flunk Day.

Members of the Student Life Committee received this email from Travis on Monday. The flunk is near. [9]

[1:48 PM] There's an 80% chance of thunderstorms and the high is only 60F. And Senior Kayleigh O'Brien has a full draft of her Honors Project due on Friday. "Please God not Wednesday"--quote from Kayleigh O'Brien. It's definitely going to be Flunk Day. <-- Becky Hixon has to turn in her Honors on Thursday, Flunk confirmed.

In the vein of bad weather, several days ago, Flunk Planner Cassie McLaughlin tried to warn us that there might be bad weather for Flunk Day via yik yak. Tomorrow's weather is not going to be good; THIS COULD BE HUGE [10] <-- Confirmation that this Yakker is actually her.

[6:16 PM] Group of seniors spotted at Cherry Street drinking already! But Hanh Bui, friend of Jazmine Kenny and Kati is drinking only hot water with lemon. Recovering tonight for an early Flunk tomorrow??? <------ unconfirmed. they may be there but there is also a senior challenge event being held at cherry tonight, most seniors will be there. <-----maybe she just doesn't want to drink yet IT IS 6 PM.<----false. She got a rum bucket right after. <--- what if it's a cover-up for a friar meeting...THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!

[7:21 PM] Planner Kati seen mentioning necessary plan changes for tomorrow SINCE IT HAPPENS TO BE FLUNK DAY. said with Moscow mule in hand. CONFIRMED!!!!

[7:58 PM] Kati Stemple seen walking across campus, heading toward Seymour (and the Campus Life office??) for last-minute planning?

[9:26 PM] Quite a lot of seniors are 'weird' already

[9:38 PM] Saw a kid compulsively checking thw wiki-fire like [11] I think he's on to something.

[10:14 PM] Alums are getting ready [12]<----- So many alums are getting ready. Jodi D. Marver has been spotted on Knox campus. This can only mean one thing: TOMORROW IS INDEED FLUNK DAY! P.S. She is a kindergarten teacher, so she would not miss school unless it was Flunk Day.

[10:19 PM] I just received word that Sylvester has a question for us... [13] shhh... just pretend he's saying Flunk! [11:00 PM] TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY. CONFIRMED BY 4 PROFESSORS OF VARIOUS MAJORS

[11:03 PM] CONFIRM CONFIRM Trucks spotted at Walmart! Are the lights on in the mailroom? <-- You Flunking bet they are! CONFIRMED <-- pics or it didn't happen <-- Ask and ye shall receive [14]

[11:21 PM] About to go trolling for Flunk clues. I'll report back what I find

[11:31 PM] Passed Coltan Parker carrying a laptop and a giant binder. He asked if I was ready for flunk day tomorrow. I mean HELL YEAH I AM but also THIS COULD BE HUGE

[11:39 PM] The Flunk safety tips poster from the union board board in Seymour gallery has been TORN DOWN, likely in anticipation of the fact that NO ONE IS SAFE FROM THE ZOMBIES

[11:46 PM] Liz Reyes begins prepping for Liz Reyes Day, AKA her 22nd birthday, beginning in 14 minutes. Cover for starting Flunk Day early? <--- Liz Reyes day is every day and the flunk is always tomorrow...CONFIRMED!! <---DOUBLE CONFIRMED Liz Reyes Day is the best day of the year.

[11:53 PM] Groups of students in Flunk gear spotted around campus. They're certainly not dressed for the weather, and moving in a slow... sort of... shambling? kind of manner? Their eyes are red with alcohol and sleeplessness - CONFIRMED symptoms of the FLUNK ZOMBIE VIRUS! Make sure to stay away, lest you start feeling like skimping on your homework and drinking at 4AM. If you think you've already caught it, only Roger Taylor and his 10-footer can help you now...

[12:04 AM] Kati Stemple just finished painting her Flunk Day jug and "hopes it dries by tomorrow" THIS COULD BE HUGE!!! <-- CONFIRMED it is a known fact that jugs will come in super handy on the morn! <-- Pics according to the yak [15]

[12:10 AM] In response to a senior using the phrase 'I pray to the Flunk Gods,' Kati Stemple replied, 'I am the Flunk God.' If she's getting into the thick of it, you know something big is about to happen!

[12:07 PM] Flunk Planner takes to the seniors' private FB group to warn of open container laws and other potential violations that could ruin her Flunk. AND she reminds how friars are chosen. THIS IS HUGE.<---- CONFIRMED. The Flunk God knows and has confirmed. People can say she's sprouting bs but ask yourself, "Is she OR ISN'T SHE?"

[12:23 PM] Our gummy bears have reached optimum size, and will soon be so large they'll escape their boozy cage. Better be Flunk Day or we could have a real sticky problem... [16]

[12:29 PM] Kati Stemple just said the title of "Flunk God" might be getting to her head. <--CONFIRMED it is getting to her head

[12:33 PM] Since the "Flunk God" Kati Stemple is worried about the size of her head, Cassie McLaughlin stepping in on the senior Facebook page to encourage flunk hype in her stead

[12:39 AM] HAS ANYONE SEEN TRUCKS OR TRAILERS PARKED OUTSIDE OF BEST WESTERN OR COMFORT INNNNNNN

[1:00 AM] Jack says that the Flunk Day Abe Lincoln is booked in New York all of this week. <---- False! I looked up the same website and that's not our Abe!!!! Flunk on bitches!!!

[1:25 AM] Security guard (Jeremy R.) said its "1000% not flunk day tomorrow" and told multiple students in founders that it's not this week... <-- What makes you think he's the one magical human who knows?

[5:27 AM] Finish homework before class. Flunk day was not today!

[edit] Thursday, April 28th

Flunk Day 2014. With all the rampant predictions of an early Flunk, could we be seeing a repeat performance? If so, we must get to hyping before it's too late.

Rumor has it that planner Kati Stemple received a twin camouflage air mattress from sender "FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW." Extra bed for a Surprise guest? flunk Day must be near. <--- CONFIRMED <--She has had that air mattress for a while

Walked by some of the offices in Old Main and over heard the staff talking loudly. The words I was able to pick up was "flunk day , "April 28th", "funds", and "Teresa". <-- Pics (or recordings) or it didn't happen

Seasoned alumni confirm this to be the day of Flunk

Last weekend in Kati Stemple's apartment there was an "inconspicuous" note marked for this date. Could it be her Flunk reminder?

John Dooley cancelled class today because "it's going to be Flunk Day". <--But when asked Helen Hoyt confirmed, "Oh there's no way it's Flunk Day tomorrow."

Flunk day shirts are being distributed.

[7:05 PM] Seniors spotted Stocking up for flunk day at Hyvee. [17]

[7:47 PM] I heard one of the custodians in SMC mention something about "Finally getting some time off" because the building is going to be closed. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!

[8:15 PM] Fake track meet scheduled for Friday morning. They're not going until Saturday. General lottery is never on a Thursday. It'll be moved. Let's go - that's a lie, it's a two day track meet

[8:51 PM] Mystery intel about certain sports practices being canceled for tomorrow? Can anyone confirm? <- Confirmed

Can't be flunk day tomorrow Sean Culver is coming tomorrow @ 4pm at CFA <-- LIES this event isn't until Saturday!! https://www.knox.edu/calendar/event/E/55167 <<<----Theres one tomorrow as well [18]<--- obviously a decoy. Flunk confirmed!<--- not a decoy but Godsil keeps saying how much he hopes flunk day isn't Thursday because then the artist wouldn't be able to speak to classes so anything is possible!

[9:00 PM] Kati Stemple spotted carting water jugs back and forth. <-----must be her water bottle because she drinks water?

[9:47 PM] Trucks shaped like zombies spotted by CFa <---- THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!

[10:00 PM] FUCK <---- CONFIRMED

[10:03 PM] SPOTTED: GOLDY WITH A CHAINSAW <-----FALSE. Goldie has moved from Galesburg. Completely. Forever. He has a store in Macomb now. RIP GOLDIE DAYS.

[10:04 PM] Ok... i just talked to helmut... he's telling me that the breakfast is about to suck tomorrow because he took the sandwich recipe(s) with him Arizona and left them there. one of my friends was in arizona with him in the fall and they talked at length about this. trust fam.... it's tomorrow but it will not be lit. <-- lolwut <-----will not be lit because it'll be gloomy and raining <-- Rain is supposed to be over by like 7AM

[10:08 PM] THE FLUNK DAY BAND IS THE FUCKING DARKNESS HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY ARE IN CHI CITY TONITE BABY AND THEN HAVE THE DAY OFF TOMORROW FOR FLUNK FESTIVITIES OMFG!!!!!! AND THEN BACK TO INDY FOR THE REST OF THEIR TOUR DATES............. THIS IS LEGIT.....what about biz markie??

[10:36 PM] Walmart employees are confused as to why so many people are buying air horns this week. There is also a lot of alcohol strangely in the 'seasonal' aisle [19] <----Iol

[11:29 PM] Lightning strikes the Knox College campus. Perfect timing for the zombie horrors to come tomorrow. <-----CONFIRMED

[11:49 PM] Mailroom lights are on!!! Like actual, interior lights, not just the ones on all the time [20] THIS COULD BE (no, actually this IS) HUGE!!!! <--couldn't this be an old picture like from earlier today?

The golf team have a game today so 100% not flunk day <--- it's off campus and school's site says it's "TBA" <---CONFIRMED Sporting events are easily moved due to flunk day<---in other news, we have a golf team? flunk confirmed.

[12:32 PM] Grass was mowed today. This generally happens right before THE FLUNK <---not true grasses are always mowed <-- #grasstheory

We've yet to see confirmation of the zombie shaped trucks or anything at the hyvee. Sources? <--- GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER PEOPLE, THE FLUNK IS UPON US

[12:45 PM] It's supposed to be overcast all day, pretty dreary and perfect for a zombie take over <--- There is general housing lottery tomorrow. Would they really go through the effort of rescheduling that? Seems like too much time and effort to me!

[3:30] IT IS FLUNK DAY <----- CONFIRMED <<<< PROOF?? NO email as of 3:36 don't be rude. <---[21] <--- It is not Flunk Day! :( Confirmed.

[3:07 PM] Becky Hixon finished her honors paper today!

[edit] Friday, April 29th

This was Flunk Day last year.

It's Emma Downing's birthday. Emma predicted that flunk day would be 4/29 last year. This year too? <-- It's also national dance day!

"Flunk Day is definitely going to be on my birthday." --Oracular prediction from Emma Downing.

Really? We've all just given up on Friday flunk?

Friday would be a perfect day. everyone is so Unsuspecting.

Still not Flunk Day. Disappointed.

[edit] Sunday, May 1st

This was Flunk Day 2013. Good for predictive purposes, and perhaps indicating the Tuesday the 3rd?

The Night of the Living Dead made its debut October 1, 1968. Thus Flunk Day is the first week of May.

Jon Snow came back from the dead [22] in anticipation of the Flunk! <---CONFIRMED!!

[edit] Monday, May 2nd

This date went a long time without an entry...

The only thing listed on the online menus for this day is 'Meatless Monday.' Epic Flunk fakeout?

overheard Riya Tiwari in the cafeteria saying that this is a possible flunk day because there is "LITERALLY nothing scheduled for this day" <-------Just checked the events calendar and there is "literally" nothing that day!!!!! <--CONFIRMED <---Maybe not on the event calendar, but there's a big faculty meeting on Monday that would apparently be extremely hard to reschedule. Corroborated by Nikki Malley and Anne Steinberg, will check with other teachers<--- Today marks exactly 2 weeks from the flunk email, and last year flunk day was exactly 2 weeks after the email.

TRIO Achievement Program's banquet is this day in the Lincoln room. It can't be this day.<---It can be, that's one thing my TRIO advisor was worried about. <--- if the event was so important wouldn't it be in the events calendar?

Alumna and friend of K Stempz rumored to be on campus for flunk day posted a Smash Mouth quiz on KS facebook. KS liked it. SMASHMOUTH COMING FOR FLUNK DAY?!?!?!?! IS THIS A SIGN?!?!?

"It HAS to be today." - Everyone at Knox

Lorena: Sadie Coates, BFF of k stempz, flies in tonite <--- PROOF OR IT ISN'T HAPPENING ---- Kati and I are not friends, stop making me wiki famous. <---- LOOOOL <-- She posted a snap of her dog so I doubt she's here

[1:24 PM] Planner Cassie McLaughlin posted a picture in her Flunk Day shirt. It's coming ya'll

[7:22 pm] Softball is officially over for the year. Tomorrow is Flunk Day. Chelsey Howard is already drunk on the bus. Confirmed. <---- CONFIRMED! I AM SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HER. SHE IS PUKING. AND VERY SWEATY.

Flunkety flunk flunk

[8:00 PM] This will be the day that the first years realize that this is all just an elaborate plot to fuck with them

[8:10 PM] Trio talk was cancelled. Taken off of Knox Calendar. It's flunk day tomorrow. Everybody eat some booty and get ready <--- it was never on the calendar

"Why was feminist party so ratchet?" you might ask. BECAUSE LITERALLY EVERYONE NEEDS THE FLUNK. It cannot wait one more day.

[8:40 PM] I dreamed a dream of Monday FLUUUUUUUUUNK, when hype was high and posts prolific. I dreamed that the Wikifire would be right, I dreamed that Flunk God (Kati Stemple) would be forgiving. Then we were young and all excited, and scares were made and used and wasted. There were no failing grades to be paid, no hints unconfirmed, no booze untasted. Then the friars come at night, with their air horns loud as thunder, as they make your hopes come true, and they bring the Flunk to fruition <--- you are amazing <-- Thank you *takes an anonymous bow*

[9:47 PM] Goldie spotted at the Quick Sam's. Helping supply last minute alcohol runs? <----- FALSE Goldie has left Galesburg forever <-- There is no room for falsifying on here, only CoNFIRMATION

[9:58 PM] Knoxernet is experiencing some major trouble - you know the first thing to go when the zombie apocalypse comes will be lines of communication...

[10:06 PM] Travis seen by the loading docks. Going to stuff mailboxes???

[10:10 PM] Kati seen waltzing through Hamblin with groceries and breakfast goodies. Stocking up for a Monday Flunk, perhaps?

[10:20 PM] Kati's snapchat story had a fridge full of jello shots with the caption "are you ready for flunk day?" Messing with us, or actual flunk? <--- CONFIRMED. <--- pics?<--Double confirmed!

[10:43 PM] Zombified corpses of Stephen Douglas and Abraham Lincoln spotted near the East wall of Old Main, perhaps heading to a rendezvous with Roger Taylor and his ten footer?

[11:35 PM] very large very white very unmarked truck spotted lumbering down South Street. Scouting out parking spots for Flunk Day?? this could be huge <-- photo evidence has been secured <-- So where is it then?? <-- my computer is complaining but maybe this link will work?? https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xal1/v/t1.0-9/13094425_1064257513648680_3884985503296696865_n.jpg?oh=2d1186a9261dc3238b2eff917fa84ba8&oe=57A6BC4A

[00:03 AM] ITS FLUNK DAY !!!!!!

[02:39 AM] Friend on staff just sent me this pic of an email he just got. WHAT IS HAPPENING. [23] <-- fake, the fact that it says 'satisfactory flunk day experience' proves its fake.->CONFIRMED it's fake. There should be a parameter next to the sent date noting how long ago this email was sent. Nice try lol

[05:39 AM] Trucks are passing by on South St. The Wiki Fire is strangely silent. There is a buzz in the air. Is this it? Could the Flunk finally be upon us?<----ARE THEY STOPPING????

[06:05 AM] Unless our wake-up call is terribly late, today is NOT Flunk Day. Another day gone by without a Flunk. Tensions are beginning to run high. Will this year come to be known as The Flunk That Never Came?

[edit] Tuesday, May 3rd

Pretty likely date - close to previous years' dates, and late enough to let the weather get nice. <--- Currently says that it's in the 70s for this day.

At Milk Route on the 26th Cyn Kitchen said the next Milk Route wasn't until May 5th, even though it's been said it's May 3rd for a while now! Did she forget they moved it FOR FLUNK DAY?!

Scharazade Longou said it's next mardi (aka Tuesday May 3rd)

Can flunk day be a Tuesday? <-- yes

[8:53 AM] Cassie seen talking to another UB member about the details of the Flunk. THIS COULD BE HUGE!!

[12:42 PM] Are there any reasons why Flunk Day can not be today? <-- Nope. As of the current moment, this date is tomorrow, which automatically means it's Flunk Day

"I NEED this to be flunk day" -Everyone at Knox

[2:30 PM] Loffredo truck seen unloading food at Seymour Union. Could this be the notorious flunk day shipment????

There is the active shooters seminar this day. A state trooper is coming in to speak, they probably wouldn't be able to cancel this the day of...could they? <--- pretty sure flunk day was planned before this, so it's still possible <-- This seminar has been scheduled since AT LEAST early March, so I'm not sure how much it will really matter for Flunk Day. <-- Nope, it does not matter. If Flunk Day happens, we will reschedule the seminar to a later date. Sincerely, an exec member of the new club Disaster Corps. :)

A state trooper is scheduled to come to Knkc for an "Active Shooter" seminar. Perhaps there is no seminar and campus safety called him in to help with Flunk Day Safety. It's highly possible since the head of Campus Safety is new this year and may need some help! <-- This seminar is open to the public so I doubt it <---- This conspiracy theory is cute, but lolno. If this was the case, Campus Safety would've brought more than just 1 state trooper.

[8:14] Cyn Kitchen sent out a backup Milk Route date!

someone tell me what this link means about Flunk Day. Does this mean it can't be this week? ---> https://groups.google.com/a/knox.edu/forum/#!search/McLaughlin%7Csort:date/2015-2016-ra-staff-user/YpWhBvY4JCA/discussion <----- I can't access it. Can you take a pic/screenshot of it and post what is said? <---it's from march, soo...not relevant...?

[9:35] Seems like there is not really any good indicators/predictions that today can be Flunk Day, which means this day would be perfect to have Flunk Day on since it is the least expected.

[9:37] At approx. 8:17pm, all Union Board members received their free Flunk Day shirts during their general meeting. Considering UB members have to take upon shifts at various times throughout Flunk Day to help facilitate the day's event, this could be an indicator that Flunk Day is within the next 3 days. #GetHype

[9:44] Opened my email to a message from Hamblin's RA about staying safe and building damages on Flunk Day. She's getting hype <----Draura is always hype

[10:20] Self-proclaimed "Queen of Flunk" Hanh Bui and Jazmine Kenny (roommate of known Flunk planner, Notorious K.A.T.) spotted furiously studying in circle conference room on first floor of the library. Completing homework due for class tomorrow? Or being diligent students in preparation for EL DIA DE FLUNK in the morning??

[10:24 pm] Just got an email from Deb saying, "It's Flunk Day tomorrow." <----- CONFIRMED. I also just got one. I think she is only sending them out to club presidents. <-- Pics or it didn't happen!!! THIS COULD BE HUGE.<----not true, i'm a club president and i didn't get an email <--- Oh, it must be more exclusive than that...

One of my classes just got cancelled because the professor is "sick." Sick, or planning ahead for Flunk Day festivities? I THINK THE LATTER.

[10:39] GO TO BED, TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY!!

[10:39] Around 9:25 tonight, 6-8 white, unmarked trucks were spotted in the Walmart parking lot. THE FLUNK IS ON. <----pics or it didn't happen <-- FRESHMEN, there are ALWAYS trucks in the walmart parking lot.

[10:48] We still need EVIDENCE of the Deb Southern emails! This is HUGE! FLUNK IS ON!

A number number of alumni are predicting the day of flunk to be tomorrow. Are alumni notified about flunk day?

[10:54] Is the baseball game still on for tomorrow? It's an away game so would be harder to cancel? <--- Easy to cancel and the game wasn't on the campus event calendar

[11:01] Travis seen riding a tractor across campus while holding a shotgun. Getting ready for a zombie hunt? THIS COULD BE HUGE

[11:06] Taxi spotted on Academy! Returned alumns gearin up for the flunk!? THIS COULD BE HUGE! <---pics?

[11:11] Searched for trailers in the hotel parking lots. What was found were multiple unmarked trucks with small trailers (about 6 throughout Galesburg). 2 were U-Haul trailers. Will someone tell me what this means? I'm actually going insane. Or maybe the zombie virus is just taking over??? <---pics or it didn't happen <-- If you can provide pics, that means it's FLUNK DAY TOMORROW

[11:32] Somebody check the flunking mailroom!!!!!!!!

[00:01] IT'S FLUNK DAY!!!!!!!<----CONFIRMED

[12:14] several UB members post on snapchat saying it's flunk day tomorrow wearing their shirts.

[12:17] Softball team turning up already <--- You go softball, take one for the team<--- Doesn't matter they play like they are under the influence anyways

[12:36] Campus safety keeps driving through the hamblin/exec/tompkins parking lot. Checking for early flunkers? THIS COULD BE HUGE

[2:06] Flunk Day satisfies Bakhtin's notion of the 'carnivalesque,' which identifies events orchestrated by the ruling class that serve to pacify the people and dissuade social revolution. <---- CONFIRMED! Wake up, America.

[2:26] Everyone at exec is being very loud tonight

[5:37] Flunk day is not today. CONFIRMED.

[6:00] Another day filled with disappointment. Now I know how my parents feel. Time to do homework

[edit] Wednesday, May 4th

               ___
            __|   |__
           |__     __|
              |   |            
              |   |
          ____|   |____
         /             \
         |    R.I.P    | 
         |  FLUNK DAY  |       _____
         |             |    /(-___|_|
         |             |    \ )   | |
         |             |    /|\   | |
         |             |          | |
       """""""""""""""""""""""""""|"|"""""""""


^ Nice

Will the Flunk be on May the 4th in honor of the Theme That Should Have Been: The Flunk Awakens? The Force is strong in the Flunk and it says May 4th.

Baseball has a home game against Millikin tomorrow. It's scheduled on the websites for both schools and the NCAA Midwest Conference site. We will not be flunking on this day unfortunately. <-- But is it a conference game? The world does not revolve around baseball, unfortunately for your ego <--- It is, and take it easy I'm just trying to help out asshole. <--- Killing Flunk spirit is never helpful

Hanh Bui, senior UB member and self-proclaimed "Flunk Queen" predicts the Flunk will come. Her stash is kept in her far-away Palace with a sticky note on it that says "May 4th." <----------CONFIRMED<-----this is suspicious. She didn't buy her flunk day stash way after this statement was on wikifire. <---not suspicious, the author of this note has an inside source.

This is Henry's prediction. My source tells me he is 'pretty reliable.' <---- If he actually said this, this is the Day of Flunk. Henry is the most reliable source. He's a spy and tells students when it is.

Flunk day planners and Travis had a meeting with the admin last week... Rumor has it that it was about flunk day and that the admin was not happy... KS has been stressed ever since... Is it possible that Flunk Day is actually being canceled? Will this be the last year of Flunk?! <<-------- THE FLUNK THAT NEVER CAME

[10:00 AM] Test of the Knox Rave Alert systems, in case zombies attack and they need to spread the message?

[10:05 AM] Alarms sounding throughout the town of Galesburg, possible sign of incoming zombies? <-----exec had it's fire alarm go off this morning and NOONE smokes in exec RIGHT

[10:26 AM] There's a lot more noise and yelling in the dorms than usual this morning. People are getting antsy... people know

[11:22] Slowly losing hope. Need it today to avoid death <-- could this all be an elaborate ploy to make sure we are dead for zombie flunk???

[12:17 PM] There is a massive proliferation of safety on flunk day posters in Seymour. Literally all over the gallery. Could this be the sign from the planners we've prayed for?

[3:30] Campus safety seen patrolling the mud pit

Everyone bitching about Flunk Day needs to transfer <--- Also stop blaming the planners. There wouldn't be a flunk day without them and we all know that they plan so far in advance and have no control over the weather <-- TRUE <___ anyone who complained about a super fun day/tradition where your classes are canceled and fun things are brought in needs to go to Monmouth<------lol tru<--CONFIRMED! LEAVE!!

Could the Star Wars reference at the top of the page be a hint of the impending May the 4th flunk? <---- I feel like the chances are Kylo <-- Okay, I'm leaving this for the pun, but don't be a Flunky Downer

[4:02] ALL THE LAWNS BEING MOWED. I asked a worker so when does the mowing finish and he said he had tomorrow off? <------FLUNKIN READy <----maintence and grounds workers think its tomorrow<--#grasstheory

[5:08] Just realized that campus safety did a fire alarm check of a lot of buildings today! (Including exec! Fire alarm never goes off here!) Preparing for tomorrow?

[5:09] Knox wifi being especially shitty today. Have the zombies slowly started to arrive and take over our networking systems??? <--- THEY DON"T WANT US CHECKING/UPDATEING THE WIKIFIRE!!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!

[5:33 PM] The once dead squirrel outside the Yellows mysteriously vanished! The Zombie plague is spreading!

[7:05 PM] Senior David Valencia, roommate of Pre-enrollment theory creator and believer Rahil Savani, works for maintenance and knows when the date is. He has a piece of paper with the date in his wallet. <--- Pics or it didn't happen

Admissions meeting scheduled for tomorrow was canceled without reason! <------ CONFIRMED!!!<------ flunk day confirmed!!!<--Where does it say this? I work for admissions and there's no email. <---- So what's the verdict? <-- Second CONFIRMATION from an Admissions worker - the email suspiciously said 'this does not mean flunk day is Wednesday'

[8:30 PM] Cruz drops out of the Republican primaries. Are the flunk gods trying to communicate to us? <--- Hillary is still leading the Dem. race & Drumph is still in. I call this a half-omen.

[9:07 PM] Kati seen walking down the stairs going into the UB Office THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!!

Take out the Dom Perignon, people. IT'S TIME TO SABER!!! <-- The printer company? <-- That's Sabre, you philistine. Sah-BRAY!---< Holy shit my bad <---... I'm already pre-gaming for tomorrow. LET'S FUCKING FLUNK!!!

[10:40] Hearing lots of hype everywhere I go, but I'm disappointed to see the lack of evidence here

[10:51 PM] So, this is a small piece of evidence, but I wanted to see if anyone else could corroborate this for their dorms. The custodian always cleans the bathroom in my dorm on Wednesday (this has been the case all year long), so I was surprised when the bathroom was cleaned today, on Tuesday, without an explanation of the switch. Anyone else notice the same thing? Custodial staff are in on the Flunk plans! <--- CONFIRMED! I live in 4-name same thing happened to us!

[10:58 PM] This was from earlier today, at lunch. According to caf workers, the normal Tuesday food delivery is from Loffredo, but this does not look like a Loffredo truck... suspicious? Confirmed [24]

[11:15 PM] Katie Hutton's knees are giving signs of flunk tomorrow.

[11:16 PM] Now there are two pictures on the Wikifire. Last year, there were two pictures on the Wikifire before Flunk Day happened

[11:29 PM] Not EXACTLY the kind of truck we're on the hunt for, but maybe they're bringing in the zombies? :P [25]

[12:00 AM] Flunk or riots.

In case you were wondering how to tell if it is actually flunk day... [26]

[12:38 AM] FLUNK DAY CANCELLED.

[12:47 AM] Caf lights are on --> http://imgur.com/i1DC9TS

[12:51 AM] Campus safety guarding the quads... Can we get a photo, quadsdwellers?

[1:23 AM] Yik yak reports (complete with photos) of Kati Stemple blacking out the graffiti wall!!! [27] FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED

[1:29 AM] Cassie McLaughlin?? Spotted in front of the union board, which now reads CONTAMINATION ZONE!!!! [28] I think this might be it guys!!!!!

Anyone else worried about how early in the night the planners are doing this work and how obvious they're being about it...? Smells like a Flunk Fakeout to me...

[2:20 AM] Flunk day in Barcelona confirmed. Yik Yak for source. Flunk day confirmed as they have it the same day as us <-- Pics or it didn't happen!! THIS COULD BE HUGE

4:20 flunk it <--- it has been flunked. Waiting for my email!

[5:47 AM] Lawn still bare. I hate life and all things not flunk.

[5:58 AM] Scarers in the quad. Don't do this, guys, my heart can't take any more.

T AMOTT REPORTEDLY SENT AN EMAIL TO RECENT ALUMNI ANNOUNCING THE PERMANENT CANCELLATION OF FLUNK DAY. IS SHE IN THE SPIRIT?? OR IS THIS FOR REAL? Someone confirm!!!! <-- I can confirm that the Knox Enquirer (basically a FB page that writes Onion-like articles, and is the source of this falsified email) is in the spirit.

[edit] Thursday, May 5th

IMG_1694.JPG

Ahh the long awaited Cinco de Flunko - will it finally be upon us?

This is also the only (viable week)day aside from the 27th within the normal two week period with no events on the calendar aside from pre-enrollment and club meetings. The signs are looking good

Junior Riya Tiwari says this is her last choice for flunk day if all else fails. <--- last day that flunk could happen <====TRU <--- IF FLUNK DOESN'T HAPPEN UNTIL THIS DAY IT DOES NOT EXIST IT HAS BEEN CANCELLED. <---confirmed cinco de flunko bring out the tequila!

8 days after the shirts came in, last year's flunk was 8 days after

Can Flunk day be on a Thursday? <----theoretically? <---Duh. Flunk Day is fair game literally any day of the week<---false it's never on a Friday <--- Flunk day was on a Thursday in 2008. It could totally happen.

Flunk Day Rules posters in Seymour are originally from 1989, a sign of a THROWBACK THURSDAY FLUNK? <=== post a link of where you found this?? How do you know it was on this date?

Green Oaks people are in Wisconsin until Monday. Late flunk, waiting for Oakies? Perhaps the "patient zero" of the flunk?

[8:34 AM] Whiny babies heard from the quads that Flunk Day wasn't yesterday. <--CONFIRMED

[9:29 am] Smash Mouth heard playing at innkeepers. A sign from the flunk gods?

I heard that the green oaks people are coming back today instead of tomorrow...hmm.

[10:41 AM] On the calendar for May 5 includes a CPR and First Aid Training. Is it because...WE NEED TO KNOW HOW TO RESUSCITATE THE ZOMBIES!!!! FLUNK IS FOR SURE TOMORROW!!!!! <-- There is absolutely no logic to this statement. Zombies do not need resuscitating. However, Henry told me today that he was going to the Quicky to get his Flunk Day supplies because he has a good feeling about tomorrow. His feelings are never wrong. About anything.

[11:14 AM] No lunch hosting scheduled for tomorrow. Flunk Confirmed!!!

If this isn't flunk day I may believe that this is the year of no flunk

[11:50 AM] Cutting the grass. #grasstheory

[11:54 AM] Chef on the Gizmo patio with notepad. Planning out where to put food for Flunk Day?

[2:49 PM] Larry Welch predicts May 5th Flunk Day, encourages everyone to prepare except Jazmine Kenny who should get some sleep for once

[3:22 PM] Senior Madzia Bielinska is missing one of her Flunk Day shoes. It will not be Flunk Day until it is found.

[7:40 PM] Senior Jazmine Kenny Spotted drinking margaritas...Cinco de flunko is upon us. <---CONFIRM! She was spotted with a senior UB member!!!

[7:48 PM] Junior Holly Bieber returned to Knox from China yesterday. Did she know that the flunk was coming???

[8:00] Is there anything in campus that could prevent this date from happening? <-- According to caf workers, it doesn't seem like the Flunk food is actually in yet, so I guess that's something

[8:13 PM] Weird Wednesday is gonna be real weird tonight

[9:08 PM] When do people from Green oaks get back? can someone confirm! <---- highly depends on this <---- no, it doesn't. Flunk day is definitely not planned around their trips. <--- they get back on Sunday <--- yeah as a GO alum I can promise you that we did not know when Flunk Day was and the WI trip was a great source of anxiety for us.

[9:50 pm] Emily Cline was heard telling Kim Schrader, "I am staying as far away from campus tomorrow as possible." It's definitely Flunk Day. At least we can all hope.

[10:45 PM] Jazmine Kenny spotted sleeping...passed out or getting a good night sleep before she flunks the day away

[1:10 AM] Matt Sugai's flunk day certainty cannot go to waste. This has to be flunk day! Cherry closed tonight and said see you at 6 tomorrow! Time to get flunk'd up

[3:41 am] the wikifire is dead but these people might not be soon: http://www.sciencealert.com/a-biotech-company-has-been-given-permission-to-try-and-bring-dead-brains-back-to-life Zombie apocalypse and/or flunk day confirmed?

[2:36 PM] The Flunk Day hype is like a zombie: It's basically dead, but you never know when it will strike.

[edit] Friday, May 6th

But what if???? NO ONE would see it coming. Plus it's the only nice day for a while.<--- let's fucking do it!

Travis and Caf staff seen talking outside of the campus life office. Collaborating on where to put the food? FLUNK CONFIRMED.

For the first time all term, the entire campus is free of weeds. They're prepping the grass for flunk.

Caf food is seriously lacking today. Are they getting rid of old food so they can make room in freezers for flunk burgers?

Heard from Peter Bailey himself that he was tipped off flunk day is tomorrow. He has all his equipment ready to photograph the event

Prof Gilbert says Flunk Day happens on a Friday every 7 years. It's the 7th year. Flunk Confirmed. <--- Prof Gilbert also said it 100% won't be Friday because of a big art showcase.

Mailroom received a shipment of party paint yesterday. UB members quickly moved it so it wouldn't be seen by non zombies. Rumor has it this paint is the cure.

Zombie costumes all rented from Gaeaburg Costume Shop for tomorrow.

ZOMBIES SEEN CRAWLING ON THE HORIZONNNN. Fuck yeah turn up.

Fake blood spotted seeping out from under the campus life door...

Travis seen smoking a joint with a couple zombies behind CFA.

The weather is supposed to be 80s and sunny. Perfect weather to flunk <--- CONFIRMED.

[edit] Monday, May 9th

"No need for the wikifire. It's May 9th." - Jonathan Powers <---- This is the year!!! <--- Right!?! Been waiting for this for years!!!

This is the year. I heard J-Pow retires this summer, so they finally granted his Flunk Day wish of May 9th. <---- Source?? J-Pow didn't say anything about retirement to the swim or water polo teams afaik... <---- Yeah, debunked. I just talked to him and he's not retiring anytime soon.

We know now that this is the week -05/05, can not be on a Friday and they can't have it any later than this week for fear of students burning down the school. Monday or Tuesday look promising.

We should throw our own flunk day. Students and faculty could skip/cancel all classes. It would be really chill. <--- good luck organizing the whole campus to do that *eyeroll* <------- it became a Knox organized/planned thing because someone always has a class that they are going to have to go too an obviously one date is not going to work for the entire student body. Stop thinking you can organize it own your own because you can't. This way the classes are actually canceled so everyone can participate. Weather they choose to or not is up to them. <---why would we organize our own flunk day when there are already four people dedicating a lot of time and effort to organize it?<---plus where do you think you're going to get that many bounce houses? leave it to the planners, they know how to throw a good flunk

There is the 'Focus on Freshman' event this day as well as a speaker on this day. Unlikely that these would be cancelled for flunk day. <---- there are events every day. Almost anything can be cancelled. <---Rumor is, the planners ask faculty and staff to submit important events during Winter term so they can avoid planning during bigger on-campus events and the career center didn't submit this in the Winter. So there was no way for the planners to avoid conflicting with "Focus on First Years"

[7:24 PM] The Lincoln Fest poster has come down, and a new event poster has not gone up. All that is up on the Union Board is the Flunk Day poster. It is coming.

[9:19 PM] entire campus in denial. Should not be tomorrow. <--- Too bad for campus. The Flunk will occur regardless of public sentiment

[11:00 PM] KS asks about a scare for tomorrow. Flunk confirmed. <-- CONFIRMED!!! She's asking, planting the seeds

[12:00AM] Old Main bell ringing--signaling the upcoming apocalypse?

[edit] Tuesday, May 10th

Although there has only ever been one Flunk day the second week of May (May 8th, four year years ago)***, there are reports that two different students are flying in this week in order to participate in Flunk Day festivities. One student is a recent alumni who has received intel. from The Planners in order to romantically surprise her on-campus significant other, another is a current student who is off campus this term. Both reports come from students who are picking these individuals up from the airport. But who knows whether or not anything on campus will still be standing if it takes this long for Flunk Day to arrive. <--- Flunk Day 4 years ago (2012) was May 1st, not May 8th. I was there. It was great. ***There have actually been at least two Flunk Days this late in term. Significantly, the very first Flunk Day in the history of Knox College was May 11, 1922. Check it out, bottom of page: https://www.knox.edu/news/news-archive/flunk-day-2014 And a photo from the referenced "Roughneck Week": http://collections.carli.illinois.edu/cdm/ref/collection/knx_way/id/288

May 10th is way too late in the game. Plus even though Tuesday's are possible there's a reason why flunk day is rarely on Tuesday. - former planner ;) <----what is the reason? <--- labs, art classes, classes that meet twice a week. It's been done but it's usually avoided to make post flunking a bit easier.

NO JUST NO!!!!!!

Confirmed by one of the planners by mistake... It's today <--- proof? <--- WELLL.. you didnt hear it from me but i heard Dana tell Brandon that Matt told her that Janey told Kevin that she saw Johnny and Paul walking but Charlie wasn't with them he was with Dana but Charlie told Paul that he heard that everybody fucking knows it's gonna be flunk day on May 10th. <- this part especially

[12:44 PM] C-Store workers confirm flunk day is tomorrow. <--- CONFIRMED by Gizmo workers as well

[1:01 PM] All lawns being mowed! Flunk Confirmed! <--- They mow different parts of campus every day. This is a myth..

Flunk Day is definitely not going to be on Tuesday guys. I mean there are SO MANY other days left that are prime Flunk Day material. There is the 11th, 12th, 13th... and so on. Don't get your hopes up. This is FOR SURE not going to be Flunk Day, I mean really everyone. Nothing to see here. Move along to other days. You are just wasting your time reading this right now since there is a 0% chance this is Flunk Day. Shoo... no need to think about it any more. You can sleep in there really isn't even a reason wake up early to check for an e-mail. I'm being so serious right now. Don't even entertain the idea that this could be Flunk Day. It's NOT. <- FLUNK CONFIRMED

[4:12 PM] Flunk Day is without doubt tomorrow simply due to copious campus belief. <- Confirmed.

[5:33 PM] Nothing of substance is happening on campus, of course this must be the time for flunk day!

Guyz. It's shitty as all hell tomorrow. If flunk day was tomorrow, all that ruckus last week will come around ten fold. The flunk day planners know this. It will most likely be Wednesday.<--- Wrong. Flunk day isn't moved because of the weather. They've booked everything for one specific day.<---Also Wednesday is just as rainy, enjoy the rain flunk!

I havent been by the quads this year but I hope you folks made it huge! Tomorrow's weather and theme should make for a legendary Mud Pit!!!

Much beloved alumna Bekah Lauer '14 says that today is definitely the day. She would not reveal her source but she said she would stake her reputation on it.

[8:00PM] Travis seen rushing across campus complaining about the rain. Last minute preparations for the flunk?

I've heard that the English department has big speakers coming in Monday and Wednesday--leaving Tuesday open for flunk day!

[8:56 PM] Deities and prophets of all major religions drove up South Street in an unmarked white truck firing Flunk Day T-shirts with a T-shirt cannon. Ganesh was in the driver's seat revving the engine to rally the planners and Thor was riding shotgun taking a hit from a Mjolnir-shaped bong. Good ol' Jesus himself was hanging out the window turning the rain into wine so grab a cup get out there and get drinking. The Holy Crew then anointed every grounds worker and Food Services worker with the divine knowledge of the sacred Date of the Flunk. Rumor has it that Yahweh/Allah himself will be performing this year with a choir of angels. Definitely no way that Flunk Day could be any day other than this day so everyone drop everything and start partying. Blessed be your stashes in the name of the Flunk, the most Gracious and most Merciful. Amen.

[9:04 PM] Junior Allie Whitehill is headed to the bars for a fabulous Flunk Eve 21st bday bash, saying "If I wake up drunk at 5 AM, it's all for the better." This could be huge. <----Confirmed, girl knows how to rally.

[9:40 PM] The cackling and moaning of wild packs of Flunk Zombies can be heard throughout the halls of Hamblin. Symptoms include drinking copious amounts of alcohol, bathing in the Flunk hype, and general 'turning-up' behavior. If you have had contact with any of these former students, BEWARE. YOU COULD ALREADY BE INFECTED

[9:46 PM] Last year the dinosaur footprints appeared on campus the day before Flunk Day. There have been only a few viable Flunk dates since the graffiti wall went up, so that interval is getting a little stretched out, don't you think? Can't be long now

[9:48 PM] Rahil Savani spotted running out of Founders screaming, "IT'S FLUNK DAY!" Could he have lost his mind, or does he really know?

[9:55 PM] Seniors spotted already taking full bags of alcohol bottles out to the recycling. They've got a headstart on you, so get to FLUNKING <--- What?

[10:00 PM] What are you doing checking the wikifire? You should be pre-gaming for tomorrow. Go drink and party! <--- you mean go to bed!!!

[10:17 PM] Bouncy house truck spotted in country inn and suites. DA. FLUNK. IS. CONFIRMED. <- Pics or it didn't happen! <-- I HAVE THEM I HAVE THEM [29]

[10:22 PM] Druids seen raising miniature zombies at Stonehenge. The flunk is nigh! See for yourself... [30] <---Please don't feed into the stereotyping that implies anyone from my religion or similar religions would attempt, or condone this. Also FLUNK CONFIRMED!!

[10:25 PM] Trucks spotted at the Inn. Get ready to flunk!!! Source: Yik Yak. <-- For pics, see above

[10:45 PM] Weather on the iPhone says NO RAIN!!!!! ITS A FLUNK DAY MIRACLE!!!!!

[11:40 PM] What, is everyone too plastered to post to the wikifire? Come on, drunk posting would be the most fun

[11:54 PM] A couple of SMC-rat kids have been told by Campus Safety that the flunk is upon us. One of the young officers said it IS CONFIRMED when asked

[11:58 PM] Cars parked in front of the Seymour loading dock at a suspicious hour. [31]

[12:00 PM] Roger Taylor and Edward Flunky Hands spotted running down South street while double-fisting 10 foot bongs, yelling "Merry Flunkmas Eve to all, and to all, GET SOME DAMN SLEEP CUZ TOMORROW'S FLUNK DAY"

[12:20] Everyone is buying alcohol at Walmart----> IT MUST BE FLUNK DAY TOMORROW

[12.45] the "caution" tape is hanging out of KS apartment <---pics or it didn't happen!!! <--- I do not have pics but I can confirm that I also saw this.

[5:04 AM] Updates? Some of us don't live on campus to check :(

[5:57 AM] AAAARRRRGGGUHHHHHH! BRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINS!!!

[6:04 AM] Refreshing.... refreshing... refreshing.... Guys... I think someone broke my email...

[6:07 AM] The email has been sent. Let us record this historic moment in the annals of history!

[edit] Wednesday, May 11th

Flunk day will be on Wednesday! KS told me it was today. At first I thought she was messing with me. Now I don't. CONFIRMED WEDNESDAY!!!!! <---CONFIRMED! She was so upset this weekend by all of the campus negativity that she spilled on Friday night to some people at the bars!<-- She's also amazing at keeping her secrets <--- And at trolling the shit out of people. Anything she said cannot be taken as fact.


There is a speaker from University of Cincinnati Historian Matthew Norman, so wednesday is a no go!!!! TUESDAY FLUNK LETS GOO

[edit] Thursday, May 12th

Most likely date. Only real option left. <---NO. I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS

Day before Friday, the 13th. <--Zombie attack scheduled.

What better day than the day before Friday the 13th for a Zombie Flunk? I think no day.

I don't think today is Flunk Day. Not feeling like the one.

[edit] Last Year's Flunk

Flunk Day 2015

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