Flunk Day 2017

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The hype, the hope, and the hurt, the facts and the fallacies; when will you grab your 6 foot bong? When should you buy your PBR? Have you spotted Teresa Amott without her human skin? Tell us about the unicorn that galloped through the quad. Pick your outfit, fill your bottles with rum, grab a shovel and dig dig d i g

Join us. Hear the friars. Join us with pots and pans and heart and hype.

Join us.


(don't forget to hydrate.)

Contents

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[edit] That Flunk Though...

Yall already know what time it is. Let the predictions begin!

[edit] Friday, August 12th

T-Amott confirmed as lizard person in Ant People/ Free Mason Bees Conspiracy This could be HUGGGEEEEEEEEEEE

Scott Roberts also possible Lizard Person???? <------ wow everything makes sense.

[img src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/cNycdfFEgBc/maxresdefault.jpg"

[edit] Tuesday, November 8th

The World is Ending. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW

[edit] Tuesday, Febuary 28th

11:34PM - a covered semi trailer is spotted in the WalMart parking lot. We all know what hides here. Could they be setting up this early on in the game? Is this even that early on in the game???

11:35PM - picture confirmation of covered trailer #CONFIRMED

[edit] Friday, March 3rd

11:34PM - Cowboy Hat Man spotted at Cherry Street WITHOUT HIS COYBOY HAT, but a BASEBALL HAT. THIS COULD BE HUGE.

12:22AM - Brothers of FIGI sing Smashmouth's 'All Star' at Cherryoke. Suspicious. Do they know something we don't know???

[edit] Saturday, March 4th

9:00PM Brothers of Alpha Sigma Suck a Dick hold their winter formal YELLOWS ROSE and it is attended by the president of TKE as well as members of Sigma Nu and Sigma Chi. Are the frats collaborating for something?? Big Flunk Day Secrets???


> CONFIRMED

Members of ASSDICK also seen taking croc shots and drinking wine out a can...what are they gearing up for??? THIS COULD BE HUGEEEEE

[edit] Wednesday, March 8th

Alumnus (alumnum?) Matt Sugai kicked out of midnight breakfast. Claims that they are not a student. Smells like a cover up.. <----very interesting. Could it be that Matt knows something about flunk day that we don't know? and that Knox doesn't want getting out???

[edit] Tuesday, March 14th

~5:00 PM - [1] The Muddy Pit makes us all aware of their slumber through their Facebook page. Is this a hint? Are there secrets lurking beneath the recent snowfall and within the soil?

11:52 PM - #CONFIRMED THERE ARE SECRETS IN THE EARTH. WE MUST DIG TO UNCOVER THEM. AWAKEN THE PIT. MOISTEN THE LOAM. (FOREVER) LEAVE YOUR MAYONNAISE AT HOME.

9:05 PM Teresa Amott spotted walking home down prairie street. Too dark to tell, but it looked like she was leaving behind some kind of slimy footprints... is it molting season yet????

[edit] Thursday, March 16th

1:27 AM Scott Roberts (landlord of the yellows) seen carrying canned food, bottled water, a first aid kit and other supplies to the basement of the yellows. Was also wearing a tool belt. It is presumed that this is where he will bunker down and take shelter until flunk day is over.

[edit] Monday, March 20th

This was the first day of spring. Theresa Amott was spotted at 7:35am in the art bowl, sitting in an inner tube, buck naked, drinking from a bottle of Jager with a crazy straw, and wondering where everyone was. Sources say she stumbled towards the lawn at approximately 7:51 am, proclaiming that she was going to "ride" the "mechanical bull." Squirrels were seen fleeing in terror. We cannot confirm if March 20 was actually Flunk Day or not, but Amott's actions speak for themselves.

[edit] Tuesday, March 21st

8:37 PM - On a grocery trip to Walmart, it was found that the alcohol section was revamped over break. Everyone (including Walmart) knows this is where students stock up cheap and quick for the fateful day.

PICTURE CONFIRMATION [2] THE HARD LIQUOR SECTION IS NOW BEHIND CHECKOUT 9. I REPEAT, CHECKOUT 9. IS THIS A HINT??? <-------- IT IS ABSOLUTELY RELATED TO THE FLUNK THERE IS NO DENYING THAT.

[edit] Wednesday, March 22nd

FluNK DAY THEME REVEAL EMAIL SENT OUT!! kinda early in the term eh?? could be an early flunk this year!

[edit] Thursday, March 23rd

KEG IN THE QUADS!

Flunk Day Theme is Pirates of the Flunk --> CONFIRMED #aflunkinlifeforme #arrrryouready??????? <-------- #seaflunk if you will???


REPORTS RECEIVED of a recruiting email for the Marines sent out to certain students AT THE EXACT MOMENT that the 2017 flunk day theme — Pirates of the Flunk — was announced. Coincidence???? Is this some kind of seafaring warrior conspiracy, and if so, how high up does it go???? Is the wide, wide ocean itself trying to tell us something??? Is Teresa Amott possessed by the ghost of Edward Teach? WAS BLACKBEARD A LIZARD PERSON?????????? Stay tuned, kids: this could be huge. <-------- CONFIRMED [3] GET OUT YOUR OVALTINE DECODER RINGS, COMRADES

[edit] Monday, March 27th

Last year we were gifted with a late flunk day. Will this year be the opposite with an early flunk? Of course it will remember the first rule of the flunk. flunk day is always tomorrow!!

4:53PM - Mark Holmes encourages his Open Studio students to 'dig' through their notes from past years to create an artist statement. Does he want us to dig something else??? Only time will tell.

[edit] Tuesday, March 28th

12:23AM - it's been pretty rainy and humid out... why has no one broken ground yet???

7:21PM Two members of TKS overheard in founders planning the flunk day issue!???!! Seems kind of soon doesn't it???? <---what will tks DIG up this year??

10:46AM - Peter Bailey is wearing a tie with geckos on it. His lizard is showing, this means we're getting close.

[edit] Thursday, March 30th

3:42PM - Emma Lister caught wearing skull and cross-bone earrings. She's definitely a pirate. <---- not like we haven't know this though <--- GOD BLESS EMMA LISTER

3:55PM - Members of videocorp seen taking a strange shot of Ben Smolinski looking confused and taking his shirt off in the sculpture studio in The Whitcomb Art Center. When asked what this strange video was about, they were bound to resist giving an answer. Tristian Yi, flunk day planner??? Joe Connors, internal conspiracist??? We need more information to confirm!!!!!!

[edit] Friday, March 31st

Word has it there will be a ceremonial ground breaking tonight.

[edit] Monday, April 3rd

This will be the day. This is it.

PREDICT FLUNK DAY STARTS TODAY. 11:30am to 12:30pm, 5:30 to 6:30pm in front on the Caf. Come through and earn prizes!

^^^ umm... flunk day planners definitely on the wikifire right here trying to throw us off course!! <----- confirmed

[edit] Tuesday, April 4th

11:54AM - 3 cuties seen wielding a single shovel in a very specific formation through the quads.....we know what's coming.

[edit] Wednesday, April 5th

12:00AM - The mud pit gasps their first, glorious breath of the season.

[edit] Thursday, April 6th

Andrew Salemi sends out email inviting students for free ice cream and board games. Obviously overflow from Flunk Day supplies. Possibly the first ever Flunk Day on a Friday and an Admitted Students Day.

[edit] Sunday, April 9th

SPOTTED: Pepsi stand east of Gizmo patio. Leftover from Prairie Fire Fest- keeping it out for an early flunk???

Trash cans still lining area outside Gizmo patio. Easier access for an early flunk.

[edit] Monday, April 10th

12:37AM - Still no word on who's a friar yet... Is Flunk Day even happening this year??? Who is a planner??? HOW DO WE NOT KNOW THIS INFORMATION YET???????????

I GOT A FACULTY EMAIL that talks about organizing the soft ball team. I say two weeks tops. They don't need more time than that to organize. A reminder email will be sent out the day of/before. I will get this one too!!! <---- god bless this person

Coms Office Releases THIS ARTICLE ABOUT PREDICTING FLUNK DAY https://www.knox.edu/news/a-pocket-guide-to-predicting-flunk-day -----> They seem a little TOO insistent that they don't know when it is. I think they know.

!!!! THIS COULD BE HUGGEEEEEEEE! Also check out Peter Bailey's prediction ......

[edit] Tuesday, April 11th

Where is the "flunk day is a privilege" email??? Deb Southern wyd

[edit] Wednesday, April 12th

Williston Hall seems to be awfully loud tonight. Do the quiet ones know something?

Sam Duffy changed her profile picture to a Flunk Day throwback. She's on the inside... trust me.

Looks like the planners are going in for a late flunk again this year:

Evidence: 

1. No Flunk Day email has been sent out yet. NONE. NADA. The email is sent out pretty early in the term

2. Do any seniors know if they are friars yet? NO scares in the quads (yet! wait for it, Freshies)

3. The mud pit is DRY, even though I heard that some Sig Chi and SNu had top secret agenda paperwork piling up in their basements regarding some flunkin' important matters

4. Grass has not been mowed....Can someone find out when the grass is scheduled to be mowed next?

5. Flunk Day T-shirts are not sold yet (Did UB forget that we are not stupid and that FLUNK is to happen few weeks after they start selling the t-shirts???)

Flunk Spirit *R.I.P.*

  • ALL around campus there is a shortage of drunk people. Wake up and take a shot ya tokers, the Flunk might be closer than you think.*

[edit] Thursday, April 13th

Direct source from planners, it's today🍆🍆🍆 ---> CONFIRMED

6:46 PM Fiji blasting music and playing basketball. Have their Alumni told them the date of the flunk? <----Conspiracy

"If there is love in your heart and your mind, you will feel like flunk day all the time." -Anonymous

[edit] Sunday, April 16th

[11:00pm] Y'ALL we all need to STEP IT UP and start hyping up the FLUNK!!!! I can't sustain the wiki fire by myself.....flunk day is about TEAMWORK! LET'S DO THIS. That being said it's definitely tomorrow <--- CONFIRMED < ----------- COULD. NOT. AGREE. MORE. IT IS SO DEAD IM EMBARRASSED

[edit] Monday, April 17th

The Freshman were all given Flunk Day Survival Info from their RAs before last Monday. Any day now is officially open to being Flunk Day. Let the predictions flow like a ship at sea. AAAAARRRRRGH! IT's GAME ON! ---> CONFIRMED. [2:10 pm] Talked to a freshman in my class and she said her suite had the Flunk Day talk last week. Another freshman told me they had theirs two weekends ago.

Admitted Students Days are over. Where's the email, Deb???

[9:18 pm] Email from Andrew Salemi announcing that Flunk Day shirts can be ordered online NOW! (what happened to tabling ppl? truly a lost art) This is not a drill.

[edit] Tuesday, April 18th

Taiko Drum circle was moved from this day to sunday.....could it be?

Merchandise email is out!!! the time is near.... any day now

also...who are our planners???? would help bunches <-- they are shadows in the dark a.k.a we will never know

[10:56 am] Deb Southern has sent the email. Flunk season has begun. <-----CONFIRMED!

TAKE A SHOT OF TEQUILA OUR DEB BABE HAS SENT THE FLUNK EMAIL!

[edit] Wednesday, April 19th

Probably not this day seeing as it is the Almost There Fair for Seniors to pick up their caps and gowns (and also donate money to the school).

It's B.G.'s birthday...could the planners be trying to combine to drunk catastrophe's into one day to minimize damage? Seems likely.

[3:10 pm] SPOTTED: TKS editors Rachel Landman and Erika Riley carrying newspapers down hallway of Seymour. They went in the campus life office. Could be the Flunk Day issue???<----FALSE TKS does NOT know when flunk day is, they just make an issue earlier in the term so they can print it on the day when they find out just like everyone else. <-------True only 4 people know when Flunk day is: New campus life person that has replaced Travis, 2 flunk day planners from UB, and one school person (T Amott) <---- False. Many more than 4 people know. Admissions so they don't schedule tours. Deb Southern and other people in OSD. Campus Safety so they can be prepares to try (ha!) to stop the mud pit. The administration is ripe with information. <----True. TKS isn't the admin, but they definitely print in advance and give the issue to Campus Life.

[edit] Thursday, April 20th

Does Flunk Day really exist? Does ANYTHING really exist?

Could this be the first 4/20 Flunk? Rumor has it one of the secret planners is a hard core stoner...

a 4/20 flunk day could be huge!! there are mostly club meetings but no big events so it is a big possibility. at least it would be a good day to scare the freshies for the first time!

Does anyone know if they're a friar yet??!?!?! NO ONE KNOWS ANYTHING!!!

Lots of people posting on facebook today about Smashmouth. Could this finally be our year?

[edit] Friday, April 21st

Everyone knows it's an established rule that flunk day is never on a Friday, but riddle me this- do pirates follow the rules?

You could take photos with fruit in the caf today. Basically flunk day.

[edit] Sunday, April 23

Vlad spotted on campus.

Vlad was also spotted drinking heavily with senior Riya Tiwari Saturday night. His direct quotes "let the flunk season begin!!!!"

Senior Riya Tiwari has posted her flunk jug. ------>THIS COULD BE HUGE

SPOTTED ON CAMPUS MOVING STUFF BACK AND FORTH!!! <---- What kind of stuff? Details, PLEASE! <----- A bag full of human skulls and 5 torches!!!

FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!! Koreen is at the Gizmo, after hours!!

The Pirates beat the Yankees today, so we're DEFINITELY flunking tomorrow

MAIL ROOM LIGHTS ARE ON!!!!! <------time stamp? (Smh, freshman?) Mailroom lights are always on unless you are speaking of the office part inside

[edit] Monday, April 24th

Today there's a NYTimes journalist coming to campus and the new Parke Ethicist-in-Residence thing is happening. Big enough to stop the Flunk? Maybe not. <----- ethicist is here all week as it's a residency, flunk day is still a possibility. <---- and she's an alum, so she's familiar with flunk day! maybe that's why they chose her???

First scare of the season!!!

Janitorial got 6 large boxes of floor cleaner. Prep for post-Flunk clean-up? #Confirmed

People who ordered shirts- have they arrived yet??? PLS RESPOND <--- I haven't heard anything!

There's construction happening on the east side of Old Main and there's a big hole in the ground. Maybe Flunk Day won't happen until that's done? I don't think it's out of the question, but it seems like a bad idea to have a bunch of drunk people running around with that. I'm sure Facilities knows when Flunk Day is.

Members of Union Board have received their shirts at their weekly meeting. We could be flunkin' any day now, all is fair from here on!<-----confirmed

Staff members will get their flunk day shirts on Wednesday? So it couldn't be on Tuesday

10: 55 PM Fijis are shouting. This should be normal behavior except they're shouting "flunk day!!!!" do they know something?

[edit] Tuesday, April 25th

T. Amott canceled the fundraising event for Merrit and moved it to next monday -------->>>> confirmed

Previous Flunk Day planner has leaked that THIS IS THE DAY <------ CONFIRMED #COLTRON <------no patience for fake news, pics or it didn't happen

Dean Behling spotted landing a nollie kickflip down down the steps of the gizmo pattio. SHE IS FEELING THE FLUNK <---------- CONFIRMED. SHE ALSO LANDED A VARIAL OFF OF THE ALUMNI HALL FRONT STEPS.

huddled group of freshman overheard muttering about how they "...just wish flunk day would be done already" as they cast wary eyes around looking for snooping seniors, who might wake them up a tad early again, just to fuck with them.

FLUNK DAY APPAREL IS IN

Overheard a librarian explaining Flunk Day to a student worker. She thinks it's going to be an early Flunk.

Everyone knows we've been rooting for a Smashmouth flunk for the past few years. According to the band's website, there are no shows booked between April 22 and May 13. Could it be that they're making a stop in The Burg between shows????????

"All Star" by Smashmouth was playing in the mailroom this morning...sign of the flunk?? Do they know something we don't?

Andrew Salemi extends signup deadline for Big Pink Volleyball. Does it mean anything?????

[edit] Wednesday, April 26th

FLUNK DAY FRIAR INFO STILL NOT SENT OUT. SURPRISE FLUNK FOR ALL??

Richard Stout has this day marked as Flunk Day on his ECON 110 syllabus. What econ model did he use for his prediction? ⬆️ Same for his Econ 303 syllabus.

HEAR, HEAR MY FELLOW KNOXIES: Evidence shows that this day VERY CLEARLY can be the long awaited, the most drunk, flunk day of the century.

Now, What evidence do I have you might say?

1. T Amott Cancelled her fancy reception for Tuesday, preparing for the Flunk?

2. There is supposed to be a track and field meet in Des Moines, but this IS NOT happening

3. Greek Week has something scheduled for each day of the week, except this one. It is "wear jeans" day. Knowing that Greek week is organized by people in Campus Life, the same offices where our FLUNK DAY is planned DID THEY HINT NOT TO PUT ANY EVENT UP THIS DAY BECAUSE WE'RE FLUNKIN'?

4. It is the day after AnSo Senior Research Draft is due<-------------AnSo professors would reward you for such an effort with flunk, wouldn't they? <------#AnSotheory


Suspicious trucks at econo lodge and mall parking lot?? Flunk day confirmed???

"Just saw this at a computer that was left logged in at the library, I logged out but got some good insight, this sorority girl knows her shit" :

5. UB has not gotten their shirts yet, which always happens before the day

6. Two confirmed planners, the UB advisor, and a suspected planner were at Walmart on a SUNDAY/today (cannot be part of normal UB business, therefore 100% Flunk related)

7. The shirts are in but still need to be distributed to people that ordered them. Shirts are likely to be distributed across multiple days (unconfirmed and possibly misunderstood) <-- The can put them in mailboxes day-of

8.Unconfirmed but someone says the purple shirts are not in (for staff day-of) <-----staff members get their shirts on Wednesday? Can someone confirm?

9. Athletic events have been cancelled day-of in the past

10. Weather forecast gives no indication of date because it is decided upon way before and they will not move it at the last minute<---------weather forecast for Wednesday is rainy, easier access to the mudpit?

11. Unlikely to be close to or past May 10th because a current planner caught a lot of shit for it last year

Make of this what you will. The first viable date for Flunk day is this Wednesday.

Coltan Parker's Ass spotted hanging out the shotgun window of a blue subaru impreza as it drove by SMC. The numbers 04 were on his left cheek and 26 on his right. It may be a sign, or simply a deceptive trick. Who's to say?

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pirate flag spotted in one of betas windows. Do they know something we don't? <------ no they just like getting drunk and talking about booty

The shirts are out for pick up tonight?!?!

Flunk Day Snapchat filter has yet to be approved (needs 2 days for approval), so it's not today. <-------this makes zero fucking sense? so maybe the planners sent it ago 2 days ago? <--- Can confirm it was only sent today!!

Johnny Banham. Spanish Study master. Has been spotted not doing his homework. Flunk day confirmed. <----- True I'm looking at him right now. FAKE NEWS

Justin Dad cut his hair. Flunk day so confirmed. FAKE NEWS

Angry Ginger Driscol has been calm for a week. A sign of flunk. FAKE NEWS

Andrew Salami extends Big Pink deadline from 8:00 Wednesday morning to 4:00 Thursday afternoon...does he know drunken flunkers will be too preoccupied to sign up tomorrow morning?!?!

8:58 PM There is NO WAY flunk day is tomorrow? There is someone important (ethicist?) staying on campus for the rest of the week? <---------Might be staying at a hotel (also they're a knox alum??)

9:00 PM Would flunk day be held the same week as Greek week? Possibly not? <--------can someone confirm if Flunk day has been held during Greek week in the past? (the school would not want to possibly relate it to heavy drinking)<------but the flunk day planners might ;)

Craig Southern seen shitting in the mud pit and cackling wildly with an eye patch over his left eye and a parrot flying around his head. <---------CONFIRMED!

IMPORTANT: Andrew insisted on keeping his door closed this morning in the campus life office-last minute flunk preparations???? ALSO: he said last week he was worried that the shirts might not come in time, and they only got here today..........FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK!!!!

SUSPICIOUS THINGS SIGHTED IN HOTEL PARKING LOTS- FLUNK DAY SPIRITS HAVE SENT UNMARKED VANS AND A BEAUTIFUL OPOSSUM TO US<------can anyone confirm this w/ trucks in walmart parking lot?-----> USE A TIME STAMP and pics or it didn't happen!

10.52 PM This just in. Vlad is drinking at the bars celebrating that "he got a job in NYC" could this just be a lie to drink before the night? P.S: he never casually goes out to the bars on Tuesdays for a drink. <--------wouldn't he be working or organizing and making sure everything is perfect if it was flunk day tomorrow?<-------#FLUNKDAYCONFIRMED #DRINKWITHTHEPLANNERS

11:11 PM Zangers were spotted at Walmart picking up alcohol word is that they know flunk day is tomorrow. Flunk day Confirmed. <-----Did they forget that they graduated?<---Definitely not flunk day then

MAIL ROOM LIGHTS ON.... FLUNK CONFIRMED

12:18 AM Raub-Sellew RA spotted mudpit-digging activity. Campus Safety spotted at the Quads loading dock. Do we need more evidence?

12:19 am all is quiet..... too quiet🤔

9: 45 AM Walked to the wrong class because too hungover. We will just have to wait for the flunk to arrive I guess.

9:00 PM THE FRIARS HAVE BEEN CHOSEN!! JUST IN TIME FOR A TOMORROW FLUNK???

[edit] Thursday, April 27th

There's a dining etiquette dinner tonight, so there's NO WAY it could be today. <- This is planned way after flunk day

Craig mentioned how it could be the end of April. MAYBE <- He doesnt know when flunk day is Casual Labor has been called in to work at 6am to set up <--- casual labor doesn't do set up maintenance does

Sharon Clayton overheard discussing the potential for her staff to work on Flunk Day if they need to escape into a bit of normality. While the working may not happen, the flunking may be today.

5:55pm pirates spotted in Galesburg pillaging liquor stores in preparation for the flunk!

6:58pm the softball game scheduled for tomorrow doesn't appear on the Midwest conference site or the Robert Morris softball schedule. It appears only on knox's schedule.. <------- CONFIRMED!!!! FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW! <----asked a softball player, CONFIRM CONFIRMED

8:28 supposed Track and Field meet with Drake NOT on Drake's schedule <--------FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED<----they were supposed to, coach just decided they didn't need to <- False, they didnt make it to the finals

9: 11 PM There is a speaker on campus tomorrow so it can't be tomorrow <- FALSE 10:08 PM Confirmed from a trustworthy faculty member that Flunk is not Monday. Can't be next week due to scheduled baseball games and conference golf tournament. Barring a second consecutive week 8 Flunk day, it IS in fact TOMORROW! You heard it here first...

10:55 PM if no one shows up to class tomorrow can we make our own flunk day? <----- there's one every year...

11:42 PM Junior jumpstart is today. No chance, people. <---------doesn't matter

12:01 am planners were seen at cherry street drinking. Friar emails are out. It's flunk day tomorrow guys. Get turnt!

12:04 am people heard yelling "IT'S FLUNK DAYYYY!!"

Student development VP Anne overheard asking Senate President Tevin if Senate was "still" meeting tonight. Is it because she wants senators to rest up before the big day? Are we sure a Friday Flunk isn't in our future?

[edit] Friday, April 28th

Flunk Day 2014

"it's never on a Friday" "it can't be Friday"

AnSo Senior Research Due so probably not this day<---How is this proof of any kind? Work is due every day <----FALSE. AnSo senior research professors are known for their kind hearts and great minds and would NEVER schedule something inappropriately. This isn't just homework it's a senior research that took over the course of an entire year.

A Friday Flunk will be a clusterfuck. Don't let it happen. Or let it!!!!!

[edit] Saturday, April 29th

Flunk Day 2015

A Saturday flunk is NOT out of the question guys....THINK ABOUT IT

10:00 pm: Craig Southern and Koreen Kerfoot seen in the Campus Life Office. Impending Flunk plans? What else is there to discuss so late at night?

[edit] Sunday, April 30th

2:30PM ANDREW SALEMI SEEN ENTERING THE DARK CAMPUS LIFE OFFICE?? WHY WOULD HE BE HERE ON A WEEKEND UNLESS IT WAS THE FLUNK TOMORROW?? <---OH MY GOD THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!!! DIG THE MUDPIT!!! Thar be a flunkday on the horizon!! Flunk ho!!

11:52pm tomorrow its gonna be may #flunkday

[edit] Monday, May 1st

Andrew Salemi looked too calm. Must be a Monday flunk. #confirmed

Flunk Day 2013

Vlad P reportedly cancelled a Skype interview with a very lucrative company for this day, rescheduling it for an earlier date...could he be preparing to not interview while trashed?

Peter Bailey spotted telling AIPEF group that if he could participate in their flunk day predictions he would put $50 dollars on this day...*hint hint*

Not much on the calendar today. THIS COULD BE HUGE!

CRAIG FLINCHED WHEN WE SAID MAY 1ST. IT COULD BE THIS DAY <------Craig does not know!

Craig has one child. MAY 1ST?

Grace Neubauer '16's grad school in Germany is closed today, do they have knowledge of the Flunk?!?!?

An anagram of Andrew Salemi's name is "Alarmed News I" and I is the roman numeral for 1!!!!!!! FLUNK CONFIRMED

Education Department Secretary, Barbara, was overheard telling a student that an email is sent to staff asking for volunteers on the flunk approximately one week before the flunk. As of last Weds., no email was sent. Could the Flunk be this week?!?!?!?

TKE and BETA are throwing a block party on Saturday? TOGETHER? These two frats were the biggest rivals 4 years ago and would not even talk to each other. Look at how far we've come. I think it's a sign from the flunk gods <-----Monday Flunk confirmed

ELEANOR KAHN SAID IT'S MONDAY<-------- PROOF???

THE KNOX FOX CLAIMS TO NOT KNOW WHEN IT IS???? THE MASCOT SHOULD HAVE THIS INFORMATION???? IS FLUNK DAY EVEN REAL?!?!?

BASEBALL GAME RESCHEDULED FOR MONDAY AND APPEARS ON BOTH OUR SCHEDULE AND THE IC SCHEDULE.... SO FLUNK DAY IS NOT MONDAY!!!! <-------confirmed looks like we are looking at a week 8 flunk day again.... <------ I don't think the planners take reschedules into account, do they???

National Couple Appreciation Day is observed on May 1st. Is there anything more romantic than flunk day?!?! FLUNK CONFIRMED <----- FLUNK IN LOVE

Faculty Meeting is Monday! = DEFINITELY NOT GONNA HAPPEN TODAY <----- I feel like this could be rescheduled pretty easily <-------- faculty member here, it possibly could, but there's so much to vote on, it would set us back too much. Flunk Days probably never going to be on a Faculty Meeting day. <---- shoutout to whatever faculty member that is keeping up with the wikifire. you are a hero.

[2:00 pm] FLUNK DAY PREDICTOR SENT OUT BY OFFICIAL KNOX EMAIL? Is this a sign?? <----- All the results say tomorrow...do they literally mean tomorrow?????? <---- Yes, bc it was sent out at 2:00 pm. 2. May 2. #CONFIRMED <---OH MY GOD THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!!

THE Knox College Facebook page released a video that is 52 seconds long. 52...5-2...May 2nd...FLUNK CONFIRMED!


Flunk Day Waltz
(Sing to the tune of Christmas Waltz)
 
Frosted beer bottles
Friars yelling outside
Squirrels mating in the tree

Flunk Day's on its way
It's filled with things
Things for you and for me

Chorus:
It's that time of year
When the world falls in Flunk
Every song you hear seems to say
"Happy Flunk Day,
May your Flunkiest dreams come true"

And this song of mine
In three quarter time
Wishes you and yours
Happy Flunk Day, too

Repeat Chorus

[edit] Tuesday, May 2nd

Milk Route and Baseball today. Not a Flunk!!! <----- Milk Route does NOT stop the Flunk. The English department has already said that it will just be the week after.

Callie Rouse's Honor's Defense is today. She says if it's today she'll be posting some aggressive Snapchat stories, to say the least. "I'd be anxious all Flunk Day, that would be terrible."

Startled squirrels dropped berries from a tree in the CFA art bowl, forming the number "2". Flunk day #confirmed??????

The Knox Fox Facebook has harassing seniors for flunk day information?!?!? Is this all a trick??????? Why doesn't the fox know??? The Fox is not a senior CONFIRMED. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED.

The Hustle Fitness class is today, and that CANNOT be rescheduled. DEFINITELY not today. <----- Confirmed!!!!

Joanne's Fabric says that "a lot of people have been buying feathers tonight" <---- For pirate captain hats for flunk tomorrow??????

May 2nd is Scurvy Awareness Day. Seriously, people! Scurvy is the greatest enemy for a pirate at sea. MAY 2ND FLUNK CONFIRMED!!!!

Achem Class hoping for today ( one less lab) ayyeee!'

Knox College Campus Alert system was tested and everyone received a phone call or a voicemail and 10:07 AM. Is campus safety trying to make sure that the alert system works so we are easily notified it's flunk day?

THE lawns are being mowed. Is the Flunk upon us?!?!?!

The hole by Old Main has been filled in! The construction site is still a mess, but the hole is gone, which they probably wouldn't want to still have on Flunk Day. Could this mean we're ready to Flunk?

Flunk Day's Here
(Sing to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Running through the Quads
And banging on a pan
Thank you Flunk Day Gods
I'm your biggest fan
I'm the Flunk Day King
Yes this day's so tight
And I just cannot help but sing
This Flunking song tonight

Chorus:
Oh, Flunk Day's here, Flunk Day's here
Flunk Day's here today
Oh, what fun it is to Flunk
And Flunk the day away
Repeat

A day or two ago
I thought I heard a Flunk
But it was just a scare
Though I had gotten drunk
But now lay in the grass
Because the email's here
So let's please raise a Flunk Day glass
And pass Deb Babe a beer

Chorus x 2

[edit] Wednesday, May 3rd

Confirmed Flunk Day Custodial Intel TRAILERS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED!!! <----- pics or it didn't happen!!

Rob Smith's ENG-295 syllabus suggests this may be the day of flunk. My bet's on this day...if only it'd happened when we were studying Lynch. Seems like everyone wants it to be this day. Any reason why it's not???

The alma mater has 3 verses. MAY 3RD FLUNK CONFIRMED!!!!

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS DAY FOR THE FLUNKK???

Not much on the Campus Events email for Wednesday...could it be?

Its finally sunny outside! Perhaps a gift and prelude from the Flunk Gods?????

Richard Stout's ECON 303 class just got cancelled for Wednesday and Thursday (Thursday class obviously had to be cancelled so we could recuperate from all that flunking.) FLUNK CONFIRMED.

Baseball tho????? Or does it not matter????? (PROBABLY NOT)

Fritz Klein, AKA Abraham Lincoln all dressed up, is FREE this day!!!!!!!!! THE FLUNK IS REAL! <---OH MY GOD THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!! <---- you sure this is the right guy, though? He's also free Thursday and a few days next week. <--- this isn't the right guy, the real Flunk Lincoln is Randy Duncan and he doesn't have a website

I took a nap this afternoon, and Deb Southern came to me in a dream. She spoke not a word, but held up three fingers. I asked her what it meant, but all she did was shake her head and laugh. Can anyone trained in dream interpretation tell me what this means?

DOES ANYONE HAVE A 4-11 ON ROGER TAYLOR????????

Word has it Terrie Saline is convinced flunk day is tomorrow, May 3rd, 2017, according to several of her student employees. As she is a topdog Knox administrator, I think this should be taken seriously.

IT'S TOMORROW! Trailers have been spotted in the Best Western parking lot! <---- pics, y'all. <--- timestamp, etc. C'mon people!


Flunk Day: a Haiku fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck please be tomorrow

Alumnus from afar: We're feeling flunkyyyyyyyyy

1:58AM: Has anyone spotted any flunkness yet?

Away in a Dorm Room
(Sing to the tune of Away in a Manger before a Flunk Day nap)

Away in a dorm room, top bunk for a bed,
The little young freshman laid down her drunk head.

Flunk Gods in the sky look down where she lay,
The little young freshman napping on Flunk Day.

The Smashmouth is playing, the freshman awakes,
But little drunk freshman no crying she makes.

I love Thee, oh Flunk Day, I can’t tell a lie
Tomorrow you’ll be gone, and I’ll sadly sigh.

Be near me, oh Flunk Day, I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.

Bless all the dear freshmen in thy tender care,
Oh, thank you for hearing my sweet Flunk Day prayer.

[edit] Thursday, May 4th

WEDNESDAY 4:05PM PAINT BALL COMPANY BUS SEEN DROPPING OFF A KNOX STUDENT HOLDING A CLIPBOARD. http://imgur.com/a/JD5kl ...FLUNK DAY FUCKING CONFIRMED <----- There's a student who plays paintball for a team that's name matches that bus — probably just dropping her off! NOT a sign.

Custodian Intel that THIS IS THE DAY!! <---confirmed by multiple sources<--- details plzzzz... Marvin said it was today and he hasn't been wrong in 5 years

There has been a email circulating around (apparently sent to the Knox College ITS or the information technology services)<--- somebody confirm if this is real (highly unlikely that this "released" email is real)

could be. maybe. ponder on it

It's this day Lincoln fest is May 6th, the only other viable date would be May 8th and that is too close to Lincoln fest. Unless, it's a week 8 flunk again. <---- Would they even consider doing 2 big events 1 day apart?? If it's not this week it must be week 8....

There is a conference game [1 2] for the Golf Team on this day, so it can't today.<----- Golf isn't really a real sport anyways and the flunk only waits for real athletes.<------CONFIRMED<-----FALSE flunk day gives no fucks about any athletes (anyone that plays golf is also an athelete, wikifire is not for value judgement or personal opinions, only #facts about flunk day being #confirmed)<----#golfisahobby ****LITERALLY CANNOT TRUST ANYONE IN ATHLETICS, they think they have the in but fact they're being lied to

Biochem 301 test gets pushed for Monday if Today.... what can I say.!

Professor Eric Dickens confirms a Thursday flunkday by stating " I can 100% gurantee flunkday is Thursday, trust me"

Smashmouth was formed in 1994. 4. MAY 4TH FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!!!!

May 4th. May the fourth be with you this flunk day. Space pirates. #FLUNKDAYCONFIRMED

One guy checked out a DVD from the library on Monday. The DVD would normally have a due date of three days later, so Thursday. However, the due date reads 'Friday," suggesting the library is closed on Thursday for Flunk Day. #FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED <---- library worker here, chances are good that the due date is Friday at 1am, which would still be Thursday, as the library is open until 1am (if that makes any sense)

Deb Southern seen charging radios in her office on Wednesday, could be today. Also when I was able to get in to a custodial closet (in CFA) they have charging stations all set up for the radios. COULD BE TODAY

LAWNS ARE BEING MOWN. SUSPICIOUS <--- 2 days in a row. #HIGHLYSUSPICIOUS #FLUNKDAYCONFIRMED

Someone told me that her friend that works in admissions told her that there are no tours scheduled on this day. Can someone confirm??? <- Confirmed! They even got moved

http://imgur.com/LawcAaO Andrew SALAMI spotted getting in the flunk spirit #ahoymatey #FLUNKTOMORROW <----- GOOD WORK!!!! I expect this from ALL of you

Custodian who was scheduled for a late night shift in Seymour said they saw an 'F' written on Diane's calendar for today

Scheduled a meeting with Bradley Gregory (Director of Building Services, he would know when flunk day is) for Thursday at 10 to talk about a summer job. "Thursday's not good, please pick another day and time."... he knows...

Flunk Day Confirmed! Knox email #HACKED.

Andrew Salemi sent an email about buying Flunk Day shirts if you missed the online order. It says you can stop by everyday until Flunk Day to buy some. If Flunk Day's today, why would he do this with only a day of notice? OR is the man trying to throw us for a loop? TIME WILL TELL

About three days ago a worker, won't say the name, was cleaning in Diane's office and saw that Flunk Day was written on the calendar in her office. #GETREADYTOFLUNK

THERE'S A ROCK CLIMBING WALL AT THE HOLIDAY INN, COMFIRMED <--- Proof? With citations please. <---- seriously, pics or it didn't happen!!!<--- sorry I don't know how to lod pics on here, but I have them ;) <---upload them on imgur and share a link! OR post it in one of the Knox facebook groups!

Got an email from the head of the ANSO dept. who wrote to say class is cancelled if Flunk is tomorrow. Could of said this about any day but chose this one! (proof: http://imgur.com/a/4XUSY) <--- THEY KNOW

Overheard Naomi Morishita say that she skipped physical therapy to get her flunk alcohol stash!!!

[8:22] **PLEASE USE TIME STAMPS FROM NOW ON PLEASE!**

8:43 trailer with Rockwall at country inn

9:08 rumors circulating that planners have #CONFIRMED tomorrow as the one and only flunk. Choose to believe it or not, but choose wisely.

https://ibb.co/nnga0k Link to pic

Hark the Herald Friars Sing
(Sing to the tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing)

Hark the herald Friars sing
“Glory to this Flunk morning
It’s today, so let’s get wild
Come outside in Flunk Day style”
Joyful, all ye first-years rise
Hear our humble friar cries
With Deb Southern we proclaim:
“Flunk is here this joyful day”
Hark! The herald Friars sing
“Glory to this Flunk morning!”

Honestly god bless whoever is writing these songs <---- bless you, reader <3 the OP

[10:00] Flunk Day is confirmed!!! Trucks spotted at the Country Inn! [4] <--- OH MY GOD THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <--- can someone else go there and send another picture to confirm???

[10:34] But YOU GUYS the Seymour Library Book Giveaway is today...there's NO WAY it could be Flunk Day. That CANNOT be rescheduled. <-----lol are you fr? you're probably NOT a sarcastic person, eh

[11:02] Spotted the entire Knox College Campus at Walmart

[11:30] B. Smol seen wearing a pirate's hat. #CONFIRMED

[12:26] Campus Safety seen at the quickie getting 40's and dutches. <---- LAST MINUTE FLUNK PREPARATION???? <--- FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED

SPOTTED: Rich Stout stocking up on his flunk day stash at Hy-vee on Main. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!!!!

[1:04] things around campus are a little too quiet.....

[4:50] whilst running around two freshman discover a warning saying founders is closed till midnight. Later they try and get into Taylor but it is locked...

[5:35] TRUCKS SPOTTED AND MOVING IN FROM AUX GYM ITS FLUNK DAY PEOPLE

[5:45] seniors (friars???) seen and heard shouting "It's Flunk Day!" while heading toward quad

ITS FLUNKING FLUNK DAY FLUNKING CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[11:34 PM] Today was a pretty good Flunk Day (and it didn't even rain)! Congrats Andrew Salemi! Way to carry on the annual tradition. <----- CONFIRMED!!!

[edit] Sunday, May 7th

Rally's birthday (a member of Alpha Sigma Suck a Dick). A good option, especially since I heard that she has an in with the flunk day planner. Would NOT be the first weekend flunk... if the planners really want to shake things up this is when they would do it.

[edit] Monday, May 8th

Not much on the calendar today either...


IT IS THIS DAY. STAY TUNED <----PROOF???


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//

jgs


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[edit] Tuesday, May 9th

It's gonna be the 9th. Jonathan Powers always says Flunk Day will be May 9th, and Jonathan Powers is never wrong. <---false, he has been wrong for many years in a row now. (Sorry JPow)

The 9th is free STD testing day! What better way to celebrate THE FLUNK!

[edit] Wednesday, May 10th

Flunk Day 2016

JPow's birthday, what better way to celebrate Flunktacularly?

[edit] Thursday, May 11th

Vir Das, distinguished Alumni comedian with a new special on Neflix, temporarily had his tour website updated with a flunk message! I took a screenshot: [5] <---And now it's been taken off...could he have been pulling a prank on us??

[edit] Tuesday, September 19th

It's gotta be on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. And you thought last year's flunk day was late.

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