Flunk Day 2018

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The hype, the hope, and the hurt, the facts and the phallices; when will you grab your 6 foot bong? When should you buy your PBR? Have you spotted Teresa Amott without her human skin? Tell us about the unicorn that galloped through the quad. Pick your outfit, fill your bottles with rum, grab a shovel and dig dig d i g

Join us. Hear the friars. Join us with pots and pans and heart and hype.

Join us.


(don't forget to hydrate.)

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Wednesday March 21

The perfect time for flunk day is the first day back! It’s tomorrow guys!

"YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!" - - Too bad it wasn't this day.

Monday March 26

Tuesday March 27

Wednesday March 28

Thursday March 29

Friday March 30

Monday April 2

Tuesday April 3

Wednesday April 4

.For the past two years Flunk Day has been week 8. why not a early flunk this year? grab your stash and dig the pit cause its coming early this year:) .Prairie fire fest is this day.

Thursday April 5

Friday April 6

Saturday April 7

.Bob Lallky said that Flunk Day would be between Monday (April 9) and graduation.

^^^He is also in talks for bringing an entertainment act to campus for Flunk Day... rumor has it that 3OH!3, Bill Nye, and Smashmouth are being considered.

Monday April 9

Tuesday April 10

Wednesday April 11

Thursday April 12

This day is not flunk day.

Friday April 13

Just to make that willy wonka bullshit all the creepier

^^^ B I T T E R ^^^

Just overheard confirmed Flunk Day Planner say Flunk Day always happens after Admitted Students Day #2. Start getting litty Monday the 16th.


Police officer who was called to the scene of our very first flunk scare predicts Friday the 13th flunk. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!

Monday April 16

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON THE CALENDAR!!!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!!

Flunk day planner Bob Lallky's brother AND sister celebrate their birthday on April 15. Could he be planning the most epic birthday party for them ever??

Campus has been eerily silent about Flunk Day so far... Are they messing with us? Are they going to spring it on us early??? THIS COULD BE HUGE

Tuesday April 17

Wednesday April 18

Take Back the Night March!!! Go get ready for Flunk Day by making the world a safe place

Thursday April 19

Flunk Day. 4/20. Weekend.

Senior Elise Goitia was spotted eating a lollipop and talking Wonka with a group of friends. Could they be conspiring for the Flunk?

CONFIRMED: Flunk Day is next week.

Flunk Day email sent out today!! <-- Beat me to it

[12:56 PM] Deb Southern has sent out the information email about Flunk Day. As the email states: LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!!!!

Friday April 20

We can hope, can't we?

Andrew Salemi spotted in the Campus Life Office on Thursday, April 19th, after 8:00 PM. Flunk Day Confirmed.

TWO ALUMS, notorious Matt Soup and Zane Carlson, have been spotted around campus, hinting they may be in town for a bit. Could this mean Week 6 Flunk??? *wouldn't be the first time*

UPDATE: Senior Errol Kaylor has officially titled the honored "Flunk Day fuck", or the act of having *intimate* relations with someone during Flunk Day, as "fluck", or "flucking". Could this mean we're getting closer to the day? #itsalwaystomorrow

Monday April 23

Rumor has it that legendary flunk day queen is visiting this weekend. Could she know something we don't?? Preparing for a Monday flunk! <<------ WHO? Flunk day is assuredly this day, Monday, April 23rd. <---- Jess Ranard?

Friend who works in the mailroom said she saw a big box of Flunk Day cups with "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Flunktory, April 23rd 2018"!!! This is insane! <---- pics or it didn't happen pls. Also the lawns havent even been mowed yet soooo... I dunno

CONFIRMED, the people at Green Oaks have been given the warning. F-DAY!!!!!!

It can't be this soon!! The t-shirt order form for Flunk Day hasn't been sent out yet!!<- there's a rumor that they aren't doing pre-order this year, but actually selling at Flunk Day, one less predictor the FD planners don't have to worry about.

Well it wasn't today.

This morning, the caf opened 1 MINUTE early, at 7:29AM. This means that Flunk Day MUST be in 1 DAY - TOMORROW. The caf knows. This is enormous, you guys.

CONFIRMED BOB LALLKY OVERHEARD SAYING SHIRTS WILL BE SOLD DAY OF!

Andrew Salemi looks stressed. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW

https://imgur.com/a/KAxN0x8 Andrew Salemi and Bob Lallky seen talking. What does it mean?? 🤔 <— why are you the way that you are??? Omg i love it tho<----- confirming last minute details? THIS IS HUGEEEEE

Bob Lallky spotted on a booze run!!!!!!! GET UR STASHES!

Tuesday April 24

Can't be this day. Lynette Lombard confirmed that the art department coordinated with planners because today is the Chicago field trip. <---All professors give the Flunk Day planner their important dates, but that doesn't guarantee that Flunk Day won't be on those days.

MORE SIGNIFICANTLY : It's the Almost There Fair which essentially coordinates all of the graduation/commencement stuff so they're NOT going to move that.

My dad (1983 alumnus) predicts this day for flunk. Could his mustache be hiding secrets we don't know????

Flunk Day planner Bob Lallky spotted already drinking.! <-----THIS COULD BE HUGEEEE

Bob Lalky was seen running shirtless screaming PURE IMAGINATION, Flunk Day confirmed.

Knox's Maggot says we won't miss Flunk Day this year<--- hide yo' kids hide yo' wife cuz the maggot finna come out here

1:00pm: Lawns are being cut! Flunk Day confirmed for tomorrow!

ALRIGHT PEEPS. I talked to Andrew Salemi about the tactics for flunk and he agreed to be put up here so heres what I talked about with him.

1) We read over the wiki fire and said the idea that mowed lawns = imminent flunk day was 'ridiculous'. It's a correlation to being spring term, nothing else.

2) Mail room scares just won't happen. He scoffed that he would actually mail something that was so obvious. We talked about different tactics for getting the shirts (small quantities over time or just mailing it to a different address

3) Last year people were able to figure out flunk days based off of the prospie calendar. He said that he's 'got someone in admissions' working with him to help shore up the prospie calendar.

4) Important dates aren't untouchable. He has to choose between days, so if it's between 20 students being angry or 50 then he'll choose the important day that gets 20 students angry.

yeah. do what you want with this information.

Seen on snapchat today: https://imgur.com/a/KnRmith Flunk Day tomorrow confirmed?

Wednesday April 25

Confirmed: Craig Southern heard mentioning this date.

THERES A BASEBALL GAME AGAINST EUREKA COLLEGE BASEBALL THAT DOESNT APPEAR ON THEIR WEBSITE CONFIRMED BIIIIIITCH

Double Confirmed: Now the baseball game has been postponed. <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE

Ronnie caught saying yesterday that "flunk day won't happen til..." Slip up? Or fake out? Seems like he means flunk day won't be this week at least. <-------- who is Ronnie? Sounds like fake news! <--- Ronnie is one of the five people who plans Flunk Day and knows the d8, get your facts in order sweaty <---- what is Ronnie's surname?!?! <---- Ronnie Fair he's on Union Board on Flunk Day planning committee for sure. People have been trying to get him to talk for weeks this is his biggest slip up yet! Was he gonna say May????

Tennis matches that are on the Knox calendar for today do NOT appear on the other school's website!

4 perspective students are visiting this day. Not happening today <--- how definite of an indicator is this? Do the people who schedule the visits know what day is off limits for tours? <--- Allegedly, Admissions has made up fake prospective students / visits in the past <----- I REALLY don't think this matters at all. There are prospies here like every day during Spring term <———- In the past Admissions has asked for students who are willing to give tours on Flunk Day. They can’t stop prospies from coming so it doesn’t really mater if there are visitors or not

The lawns have all been mowed today. This is a good sign. Flunk Day is likely tomorrow!

-- Called the Country Inn & Suites on Henderson St. They have a room reserved for a T. Colequitt from ABC Party Rentals! Looked them up online and the company is based in Peoria. That is the company that usually sets up the rides and the ziplines! I'm pretty convinced... <-- THIS IS HUGE <--- and fake news, there is no ABC Party Rentals in Peoria!

Someone needs to go check the Country Inn & Suites parking lot tonight.

OK BUT can't be Wednesday cos like RAs have Wednesday mandatory meetings and what not??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so probably not a Wednesday. These peeps is sticklers, my dudes. <-- Can't those be rescheduled? <---- yes those are very easily rescheduled. the Mandatory RA meeting shouldn't stop flunk day in the slightest <----- it can literally be every day but Friday (as far as we know). It was on a Wednesday in 2015.

[4:06] Currently no trucks in Country Inn & Suites lot. I'll go back and check later tonight. Will post pictures if there are any trucks. <---- Heard a rumor that FDP Bob Lallky told all trucks to park in Monmouth. Send the troops!!!! <--- I'll go to Monmouth if there aren't any trucks at Galesburg hotels.

What's up with Cate Denial's history class field trip? Is this legit? Would it be a reason why the Flunk couldn't occur on the 25th? Is the field trip actually on Thursday, not Wednesday? WE NEED ANSWERS, PEOPLE!!!!!!! <--- We leave Wednesday morning and are gone the rest of the week!

Jennifer Templeton predicts that today is the day! Seen in email to advisee.

Asked to set an appointment with the Dean for tomorrow. His assistant said no because tomorrow was going to be "Cray Cray".

[8:15] Andrew Salemi seen leaving his office looking really stressed. Could he have stayed late to get all the final touches ready for Wednesday flunk?!

[9:11pm] Any update on trucks? <— just got back from checking and there were none in Galesburg

[9:30 pm] Alumni Hall locked this early, it is usually open at this time to study? Could it be closing early for tomorrow's Flunk Day?????

[9:56 pm] Saw some trucks in Galesburg. Nome of them were marked, so they probably aren't related to flunk day. Silver trailer was at Country Inn & Suites, U Haul truck was at the Holiday Inn, and the white trailer was at the Baymont Inn. https://imgur.com/a/X9Ih73G <—- Call me crazy but this looks like last years photo?!?! If so you are a very rude upper classmen.

Tennis match on Knox’s Event calender vs. IVCC, but does not appear on IVCC’s athletic calender!! This could be HUGE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObWrdYQ_6xY

There will be students in Washington D.C. probably no flunk :( <--- Has this stopped the flunk before???? <--- it was probably planned in advance, so they would plan around it. <--- Flunk day has fallen on the day of other events and trips before. <---- copied and pasted from above: "Important dates aren't untouchable. [Salami] has to choose between days, so if it's between 20 students being angry or 50 then he'll choose the important day that gets 20 students angry."

[11:08pm] Senior and friar Tenaya Morkner reportedly: A) made a ton of Jell-o shots and B) cancelled a BIG meeting she had planned tomorrow. Is she actually a secret planner?

UNION BOARD GOT THEIR SHIFTS FOR FLUNK DAY SO IT'S TODAY!!!!!!!! <--- does this for sure mean it's on Wednesday?<---The shift email was sent out few weeks ago <-- They got a another one today to remind them about their shifts the "if anything does happen tomorrow..." words were included.

If Flunk Day is tomorrow, I will be spending most of it doing schoolwork. Since Knox would not attack me in this fashion, I can only assume Flunk Day is not tomorrow. Wait, fuck. Attacking me in said fashion is exactly the sort of thing Knox would do. Never mind. Flunk Day confirmed

TRUCK SPOTTED ON CAMPUS. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED

[1:37am] Trucks spotted at walmart and baseball game mysteriously cancelled

Pics? Go to sleep^ need all the rest you can get for FLUNK DAY

[4:00am] Ok so like no big deal but i just called the flunk day extension and while it says “today may fourth is flunk day” i think what it means to say is “today april 25th is flunk day” so like its been confirmed. BYE <--Flunk Day was on May fourth last year, wasn't it? <-- According to the wikifire the hotline was never made to stop saying "Today, May 4th is flunk day". Flunk Day still not confirmed<—- duh, issa joke.

[6:05am] No email has been sent yet. I'm assuming that it isn't today


[6:10 am] no email. Lets go back to sleep. Zafar is fake news

A large group of kids (they took up every table on the Gizmo patio) on some kind of field trip just arrived. Good thing this wasn't flunk day...

Thursday April 26

BIO 130 profs canceled the lab on this day. They've been pissed off in the past when flunk days fall on lab days. DO they know something we don't?????

TRiO has their Macbeth field trip to Chicago! Something to consider, though I am still a firm believer that Flunk Day is HAPPENING THIS DAY.

Softball game on the calendar - this date doesn't seem likely! <--- Athletics hasn't stopped flunk day in the past. <---- Are you referring to golf last year?

Muneeb Rehman’s Honor Project’s defense got moved from this day just now!!

Ronnie Fair (Union Board and flunk day planner confirmed) caught saying April 24th that "flunk day won't happen til..." Slip up? Or fake out? Seems like he means flunk day won't be this week at least. <-------- People have been trying to get him to talk for weeks this is his biggest spill yet! Was he gonna say May???? <--- That would make sense. Flunk day confirmed for next week? <------- sorry but I really don't think this Ronnie character is actually a FDP :/

Friday April 27

Senior Sam Tatum celebrates his 22nd birthday on the 27th. First Friday Flunk EVER? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!!!!

Monday April 30

THERE'S A SOFTBALL GAME AGAINST MACMURRY COLLEGE ON THE SCHEDULE BUT IT DOESN'T SHOW UP ON THEIR CALENDAR!!!!!!! IS THIS A CONSPIRACY TO HIDE FLUNK DAY??? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!

^^^^Confirmed ^^^^^^DOUBLE CONFIRMED ITS FLUNK DAYYYYY

Eric Dickens is positive this is the day...why predict a Monday flunk when they rarely (if ever) happen? WHAT DOES HE KNOW

The temperature for this day is supposed to be 78 degrees Fahrenheit, talk about perfect weather for a Flunk! <-- That would be awesome but weather is not an indication of if flunkday will be soon.

Yet another day when Senior Libby Richmond has a conflict. Val Varanese wouldn't dare!

Andrea Ferrigno told our Printmaking class that a faculty member with insider knowledge wanted to get together Sunday night at the bars. Could the professors be pregaming for a Monday Flunk???

This date is Duane Oldfield's guess.

Tuesday May 1

Prof. Todd Heidt predicts May 1 for Flunk Day.

No sporting events today! Week 8 flunk?


According to the calendar, it is Flunk Day pub night in Chicago and Colorado. C'mon- what better way to celebrate Flunk than to know alumni are doing it elsewhere?

81 degrees, ya'll! EIGHTY ONE DEGREES!!!!

Twas the night before flunk day and all throughout Knox not a creature was stirring, not even the fox. The students were sleeping, laughing and weeping; awaiting the day when they could start drinking. The mud pit was dug, the alarms were all set, Bob Lallky's big night was finally met. The friars wake up, a quarter to six-- bringing pots and pans into the mix. They yell that it's Flunk Day!! But no one believes, but wait-- I see bouncy houses behind the trees!! The day has arrived!! You run to the lawn, and flash a big smile at Eleanor Kahn. A day full of laughter, it's well worth the wait so get to bed now, you don't want to be late! ^^^ Imma be mad at whoever wrote this if its actually flunk day^^^

Wednesday May 2

Bob Lalky was heard laughing devilishly when asked about a May 2nd flunk.

All support to the FD planners. Y'all don't know the shit that goes into planning a secret event for 1200+ people. Like damn appreciate what you have

6 PM baseball game.

Thursday May 3

"John Krasinski is a god" - Bob Lallky, after praising The Quiet Place

Men's Golf Championships on this day. Not sure how relevant this is.

Friday May 4

Flunk Day 2017.

Monday May 7

Senior Libby Richmond is in Peoria this day for a big exam. Would secret planner plan flunk day on a day her sorority sister could not be there?? I think not! <---- WHO and WHo? IRRELEVANT WE NEED MORE RELEVANT INFORMATION GTFO

No sporting events today! Week 8 flunk?

ATTENTION: News from the Office of Communications—Megan Scott, who knows the exact date of Flunk Day, was overheard saying that historically Knox Flunks occur during later weeks (ironic due to the Very Late Flunk Blow-Up of 2016). She dropped the suggestion of Week 8. GUYS, THIS COULD BE HUGE.

Tuesday May 8

No sporting events today! Week 8 flunk?

Wednesday May 9

Jonathan Powers always says Flunk Day will be May 9th, and since Jonathan Powers is always right, obviously Flunk Day will be May 9th.

No sporting events today! Week 8 flunk?

Thursday May 10

Flunk Day 2016.

Confirmed Flunk Day planner Bob Lallky has to go to Peoria today, would he really plan it on a day where he wouldnt be here ????

No sporting events today! Week 8 flunk?

Friday May 11

Monday May 14

Heard Andrew Salemi saying that we are really late this year. Week 9 flunk??

Tuesday May 15

Heard Andrew Salemi saying that we are really late this year. Week 9 flunk??

Wednesday May 16

Heard Andrew Salemi saying that we are really late this year. Week 9 flunk??

Thursday May 17

Smash Mouth has a concert tomorrow (May 18) in Waukegan Il, could they be stopping by for the long predicted legendary Smash Mouth flunk we have all been waiting for?!

Friday May 19

Flunk Day confirmed because my calendar says May 19, 2018 is a Saturday. The 18th is Friday. So therefore. Flunk day will be May 18 which is the actual Friday?! CONFIRMED????