Flunk Day 2019

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The hype, the hope, and the hurt, the facts and the phallices; when will you grab your 6 foot bong? When should you buy your PBR? Have you spotted Teresa Amott without her human skin? Tell us about the unicorn that galloped through the quad. Pick your outfit, fill your bottles with rum, grab a shovel and dig dig d i g

Join us. Hear the friars. Join us with pots and pans and heart and hype.

Join us.


(don't forget to hydrate.)

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March 20, 2019 (Wed)

March 21, 2019 (Thu)

March 22, 2019 (Fri)

March 25, 2019 (Mon)

March 26, 2019 (Tue)

March 27, 2019 (Wed)

8:27pm: Andrew Salemi and Bob Lalky spotted playing ping pong together, taking fiercesome glances at each other and murmuring an unknown language in-between games. THIS IS THE BEGINNING

March 28, 2019 (Thu)

Bob Lalky gone for the weekend. Didn’t even take his long time girlfriend. Is he on a super secret flunk day mission?

March 29, 2019 (Fri)

This is admitted students day. Definitely not Flunk Day.

April 1, 2019 (Mon)

An April Fools Flunk? Has to be this day.

April 2, 2019 (Tue)

FLUNK DAY THEME REVEALED: FLUNKIN UNDER THE SEA

April 3, 2019 (Wed)

April 4, 2019 (Thu)

April 5, 2019 (Fri)

April 8, 2019 (Mon)

April 9, 2019 (Tue)

April 10, 2019 (Wed)

April 11, 2019 (Thu)

Laura Lane spotted choir members drinking beer during their break in rehearsal. Do they know something we don't? Early Flunk Omen?

April 12, 2019 (Fri)

Flunk info email sent out! Tis now officially the season!

Deb Southern, patron saint of Flunk and alcohol poisoning

April 15, 2019 (Mon)

Theresa Amott allegedly seen cleaning her human skin in bathroom of old main. This is a well known pre-flunk ritual, can anyone confirm?

April 16, 2019 (Tue)

Field trip to St. Louis CANCELLED! Early Flunk day perhaps? Almost There Fair today -- no flunk today

Where's the flunk T-shirt email, Bob? WHERE IS IT?

Andrew salami said he is taking a personal day today to catch up on some things. Finalizing flunk plans for tomorrow???

April 17, 2019 (Wed)

First Flunk Day scare. Flunk season is upon us.

April 18, 2019 (Thu)

April 19, 2019 (Fri)

Admitted Students Day 2: Electric Boogaloo.

April 20, 2019 (Sat)

[9:50 am] Rental center truck spotted driving on the sidewalk past the caf. Scoping out the lawns for the best places for bouncy castles?

April 22, 2019 (Mon)

Home baseball game. Not flunk day

[4:39] Graphic Design Professor Christie sent out an assignment sheet early, she usually does the day of class (tomorrow) AND used a smiley face!! Does she know something we don’t??

April 23, 2019 (Tue)

Away track meet. not flunk day<- track meet cancelled. Does athletics know soemthing we don’t? Alum Zane David Carlson says he is visiting this week for Flunk after being spotted at Fat Fish Thursday. <--- Zane lives in Monmouth, it wouldn't be too hard for him to visit on whatever day Flunk is.. this means almost nothing, imo. An alum told their roommate that Flunk is this day on Easter Sunday. “Flunk Day Tuesday confirmed. Don’t ask questions” SO MANY QUESTIONS! <<< whyyy do people keep bringing up alums what do they know???

Inside scoop from alums w/ connects “get your stash tonight to be prepared for the morning”

Old main lawn was mowed!!!

Currently in peoria.. And I must say.... TRUCKS... ARE.. SPOTTEDD!!! YEE

Bob spotted at the gym today... flunk day bod???

knoxcollege1837 just posted on Instagram..flunk day CONFIRMED

NOT TOMORROW -> RAs have a mandatory training before Flunk Day every year, and it is scheduled for this Wednesday.

Alley Cats captains call additional practice for wednesday... do they know something we don't?

                       Twas the night before Flunk Day 

Twas the night before flunk day

when all throughout Knox,

not a creature was staring, not even the Fox.

The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care,

in the hopes that flunk day news would soon be there.

The friars were nestled all snug in their beds,

while visions of flunk day danced in their heads.

Roommate with booze, an i with my stash,

were all buckled in for this crazy ol' bash.

When out in the Quads arose such a clatter,

i sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window i flew in a flash,

where someone there shouted, "Get off your ass!".

The sun on top of newly made mud,

gave excitement and awe to the first years and their buds.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

but a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!

With a check to my inbox, to see what they say,

i knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day!

More rapid than eagles, the friars they came,

they whistled and shouted, and called out by name:

"Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four name!"

oh, Post!, Furrow, and Sherwin, don't dare be lame!

To the porches with parties! To the lawn of old main!

now drink away! drink away!

Lets all go insane!!!

It’s about that time 🕐 👋 we 👥 not playin no more🙅😒 . Big boi 🍆 stuff only 🍗💯 👏 Last night 🌙 all the hard work 😠🏃🏢 payin off 💸💰 👏 All my fans 🙌, family 👨‍👦‍👦👏 Appreciate y’all. 👌👌 Thank you 👈 for taking the 🌊🌊🌊 journey 🏔🏃wit me 💯💖. And uh, you 👈 know, 💭 hopefully 👏 we gunna move on from here 👉 and everybody 👩👴👶 have a good time👌 🕐 👏 and I 👁 go crazy for Flunk day 🎟🏀 and do what I'm 👁 supposed to do 🏆🍆 💦👌 Thank y’all. 😩❤️💯 WOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 😝😝😝 -Teresa Amott

Trucks spotted. https://i.imgur.com/RRfKfiL.jpg <---- this could be literally anything. <----- You can see the rock climbing wall behind the van. This is in Monmouth btw. That's where the trucks were last year.


^ ^ ^ that is it! Flunk Day tomorrow!

Flunk Day scare, but not today, folks.

April 24, 2019 (Wed)

Home softball games today. Not flunk day <---------- Suuuuuuuuuuure they've NEVER called a game off or fake scheduled a game

Take Back the Night tonight

It's not going to be today but I'm disappointed by the lack of hype, therefore FLUNK DAY IS TODAY I saw the trucks with my own eyes. I took a picture but the ocean Knox bought to embrace this Flunk's theme opened up under me and swept it away. Uhhhh the lawn was mowed, Teresa Amott came into my room while I was trying to take a nap and whispered in my ear when Flunk Day was. What am I missing. The mud pit is coming back this year and I saw students digging it as I walked back to my dorm.

They're mowing the lawn so aggressively today like more than the past two days, it has to be tomorrow! The mowing, people... The mowing!

A trusted friend overheard Andrew Salemi say "I MAY OR MAY NOT send out the tshirt email early" -- this is HUGE

April 25, 2019 (Thu)

Away track meet, flunk day denied. <---- How many people are on the track team? 4?


Awful lot of lawn mowing going on today... does maintenance know something we don't?? yeah that it's gonna rain a lot next week. <--- put an arrow on your response you animal

If I remember correctly, last year April 25 was The Big Scare People Actually Fell For. 2 for 2 this year or sure sign of the actual flunk?

Speakers out on the lawn. Tables out on the lawn. Flunk day confirmed. Four day weekend. Let us obtain the bread.

3:20 PM lots of yelling going on. Could be the fact that my dorm is right next to whatever sports game is going on right now OR could be people pre-pre-gaming for Flunk Day

Men AND woman soccer practices canceled. Top recruit coming too.. bound to commit.

8:08 PM Wednesday: Going on a truck search later tonight. Will report back. <---- So I'm guessing you didn't see any trucks? <---- No trucks, checked both Monmouth and Galesburg. Did almost hit a deer tho.

I had a dream about the ocean so obviously the ocean is on its way for flunk under the sea. confirmed.

April 26, 2019 (Fri)

Away tennis matches, flunk day denied :/ <--- bold of you to assume sporting events hinder the flunk in any way <--- upon further review, it turns out sporting events do indeed hold some sway over flunk. my bad.

  • Golf has missed flunk in the past* Shit happens

Sports have little sway, but the day of the week sure does. Not flunk day.

flunk day tks issue spotted in the pub office! flunk day next week confirmed!!!

April 29, (Mon)

Honestly, valid option!!


Theatre dept has a candidate coming today, and have inside information that it will NOT BE TODAY


... except it's Monday <--- monday is statistically one of the most popular days for flunk! <---not sure if joke or not, but for those who believe this, it is not. Unless by "statistically one of the most popular" you mean it's a day of the week.


There's a candidate for the theatre department visiting so not gonna happen. <--- we could all do without that


raining all of week 7. flunk under the sea #confirmed? THIS COULD BE HUGE!


[8:13PM] ROCK WALL SPOTTED AT HOLIDAY INN HOTEL. <-- proof please!!! this could be HUGE


Jim Huang seen pregaming for the night...FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED?!?!?


[9:19PM] FLUNK FUCKING CONFIRMED http://imgur.com/N9pkGIU


Hot take: Bob ordered a climbing wall to throw everyone off the scent and flunk day isn't tomorrow but TUESDAY. Everyone will be so disappointed that tomorrow isn't flunk day so they wont think about the rock wall again when it stays there for Tuesday? Evidence? It's JUST the rock wall. nothing else. so far nothing has been found and it's just everyone saying they're pre-gaming. There's never been a monday flunk AND the Theatre professor think. Don't think the flunk's going yet. ^state the location please <--- Holiday Inn on Main Street <--confirmed


Can we get another picture? Something else confirming? Also, where is the bouncy stuff? <—- just went to holiday inn and can confirm the wall. But no bouncy shit <- they have stayed at multiple hotels before. Someone needs to check other hotels in town. Nothing at the Baymont. <-- Has anybody gone to Monmouth or Peoria to check?? <-- went to Monmouth, found nothing, but who knows


Lindsay Smith's honors defense is this day...


Prospective students staying sunday night, no monday flunk


^^^^ friend who works in office of admission says this wouldn't impact the flunk and that they have contingency plans for this. Still think it's Bob fucking with us though.


Where's SPONGE BOB???????????? fake ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


wHeRe'S THE GRASS CUTTING? <--- Grass cutting is not and has never been a sign of Flunk Day. They have to mow regularly just like anyone with a lawn. What purpose would mowing the day before serve?


I'll be MISERABLE if it is tomorrow ;(


More photos up on Cox Knollege


Bob’s Snapchat story says “trucks spotted Be safe and enjoy tomorrow, everyone” is this reverse psychology?? Unless he Knows that we would think it’s reverse psychology so it’s really reverse reverse psychology and it’s actually tomorrow?? ODK


[11:07 pm] Bobby buckets seen at walmart preparing for the night of flunk???????


Unless more trucks are found tonight, I'm guessing it's probably not tomorrow and is instead Bob or the school engineering their own flunk day scare (They do have more money for it this year after all). The company that Knox hires is nearly 3 hours away so they'd have to get everything here the night before. There only being one or two trucks is really odd.


^^^^^^^^^ SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING BOB WOULD SAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED


I think bob's pushing this too hard. He wants us to think it's tomorrow.


[2:00am] Thundering, Bad weather. Probably not today. <—- Weather doesn’t determine if Flunk happens or not.


[2:17am] Mysterious metal/mechanical noises that aren’t of the regular locomotive sort heard from the Quads. Setting up for the big day?


[3:00am] Sites seem clear, no sign of Flunk Day. What does “Punished Squidward” know...


^^^ they NEVER set up this early. They're usually just starting to set up the first stuff around the time that the friars go out. The workers had to drive 3 hours to get here, do you really think they want to get up at 3am to set shit up? Still don't think it's Monday tho. I think this is the most legendary scare of all time orchestrated by Bob.


[5:50am] No sign of anything. Guess we got to wait 10 minutes to see if we get a rain flunk day or a very elaborate scare.


[6:05am] No email, no friars. The trucks did not precede the flunk as they always have. I feel that if they are still there by mid afternoon, flunk day is tuesday.


Goddamn it, Bob.<Bob deserves to be expelled

April 30, 2019 (Tue)

First April flunk in a while, just ask our dear Bob <---- seconded, no sporting events on the calendar. <--- because of some snaffu with sports last year there won't be any sporting events this year

BIG IF TRUE

Statistically speaking, Tuesday Flunks are the most popular!!

My big told me it was going to be this day and I love him so I believe him

If it's not this day I WILL be falling for the scare so either way friars get ready


IT IS FOR SURE THIS DAY, PRE GAMING IN LONGDON ON MONDAY NIGHT. WE WILL BE HAMMERED BY 9 PM SO FLUNK DAY BETTER %$&@($ BE ON TUESDAY.

A Greek Week event on Tuesday was cancelled.

NO tours in admission this day.

If Flunk Day isn't Monday, then the trucks really suggest this day.

[1:30pm] An older man delivers two hefty boxes to Andrew's office. I ran after him and asked what were inside the boxes. He suspiciously responded "I'm not sure." https://imgur.com/a/JHJ1EQo Heard from some newer UB members that these were indeed the shirts. Possible evidence for it being tomorrow or Wednesday.

Stuart Allison cancelled lab at Green Oaks for this day because of a “ 100% chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon” and “safety concerns”... hmm yeah... RIGHT... smells a lot like petrichor and FLUNK

{4:50pm} Andrew Salemi spotted walking out of the caf carrying one of those big orange drink cooler things. He went the way of the Union Board office. Flunk Day tomorrow CONFIRMED

The representative of the SEA semester will be here this day...........

Flash flood warning...under the sea indeed

[6:55 pm] Andrew isn't at the Intro to Leadership course because he's "on call". Is he really on call, or is he doing his last minute flunk prep? -checked the RA calendar. He is on call.

There is a table set up outside the Gizmo, this could be left over from an event last week BUT they had all this time to pack it up. They left it out because they knew Flunk Day was this week?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? -->[1] <---- BiG iF tRuE !! <-------sorry to burst your bubble, they're left over from pie a pi phi

If Flunk is this week it is imperative that the pit becomes muddy. There must be mud in the pit. The soil will be stimulated and as a result it will turn into mud, the more stimulation, the more mud.


Could be The Biggest Scare Yet, but frankly, I don't think there's enough hype for that to be Bob's intention. Tomorrow it is! Never have I been so excited to get hypothermia.


The truck that was there last night was gone as of 4PM Monday. I will go out and check hotels tonight but that makes me think it's not Tuesday. << Maybe they went to hide in Monmouth?


[9:51 pm] trucks spotted https://i.imgur.com/dlq8R9X.jpg <--where at? ^^^ That photo is older than me, nice try Bob. <- Hey I took that pic! Hotels by Target!

Union Board makes Instagram post claiming that they will be selling shirts this week. Flunk Day ruled out? <---- I saw some UBers & Bob going into a meeting, maybe Andrew is trying to throw them off as well... (or shirts sold this week = shirts sold ON Flunk Day this week) <---- Might be a trick because they saw that the shirts arriving was leaked on the Wiki Fire?


[10:40 pm] Sources tell me that today student workers in the cafeteria had to "shuck like 8 boxes of corn on the cob for tomorrow" and one of the workers straight up told them that "Flunk day is tomorrow."

"Does the kitchen know something we don't?" asks one student, "Yes, they do," answered the student worker, "Whether they are telling the truth or not, that's debatable."

^^^^^ FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!! get your stash ready!!!

[11:05 pm] truck by Target is real. Held a first year hostage as proof https://m.imgur.com/w35qwFO

Are there more or just this one truck? I’m not feeling convinced by one van<<< that company “specializes in entertaining young people at college events.” <= yeah I can see that it’s on the van I’m just saying one van does not equal flunk day, yesterday one rock wall (a lot bigger than a van) did not equal flunk. Several vans and trucks will be more convincing.

@Bob I will kms if flunk is not tuesday bro...

Post 9 reeks of Pot. Do they know something we don't?

Prospective students asked to visit tomorrow and they were told no. Meanwhile, prospective students are coming Wednesday and Thursday

[5:37 am] A strange quietness has fallen over the Wikifire and campus. Could it really not be Flunk Day?

[6:01am] well shit

May 1, 2019 (Wed)

Psyc 282 syllabus has Flunk Day buffer today. Do Hoffmann, Hertel and Kasser know something we don't?

Flunk Day has been around the first week of May for the past three years -- but never on a Wednesday. Could this be our big humpday flunk?

^^^actually, last year (May 2nd) was on a Wednesday. Good try though...

Baseball away at Robert Morris Peoria game---baseball got screwed over this game last year, will they do it again??? <-- yes but Peoria is close enough that rescheduling doesn't seem like it would be a major issue, y'feel? <--- is there actually a baseball game? sounds likes a ruse <-- checked Robert Morris' schedule, this game does not exist there!!! <-- it's not on the schedule at the Knox athletics site either!! it's a fake!!

Nice try baseball does not have a game may 1

this day would be the most convenient for me so it will be this day

Golf travels this day and the AD assured them they wouldn't be F*cked over again - but it's golf, who cares ? << we all do.

Laura Lane confirmed: Flunk Day is NOT Wednesday due to her reserving the date for the choir’s dress rehearsal with orchestra. <-- Laura does not know this for sure! Professors can request days to not be flunk day but they aren't guaranteed!! <-- yeah but if Laura Lane's dress rehearsal gets canceled for Flunk Day, heads WILL roll.

May 2, 2019 (Thu)

Flunk Day 2018

Men's golf MWC championship today <--- flunk has been during golf mwc before... will they do it again?

Senior Amir Maharjan says "Thursday, Week 7."

May 3, 2019 (Fri)

more men's golf MWC championship <-- no one cares about golf except for the like 3 people on golf lmao

If you add the numbers in 2019 you get 12, if you add the numbers in 12, you get 3. May 3, Friday flunk

There's a candidate for the theatre department visiting so not gonna happen.

it's a friday. case closed.

Bio 130 profs are dead certain it isn't Friday. but maybe they're throwing us off...

May 4, 2019 (Sat)

Flunk Day 2017

Smart money is on this date

May 6, 2019 (Mon)

its ramadan

May 7, 2019 (Tue)

Why not.

Alleged junior Timo "Wolfgang" Otala believes today is Flunk Day. Wolfgang, much like Flunk Day, doesn't exist. Therefore, if Flunk Day existed, it would be today.

May 8, 2019 (Wed)

Freshamn Martin Garcia believes it is may 8th. Flunk day confirmed <-- freshmen know nothing

Psyc 277 has Flunk Day buffer here, Sara O'Brien guessed correctly last year, 2 for 2 this year?

Track is scheduled to leave this day for st Norbert conference meet. Could they screw over the almsot non existent track team? Very possibly.

Reportedly the date a lot of people in the Advancement Office are guessing

Senior Deja Jenkins’s birthday, Flunk (2?!?) confirmed

May 9, 2019 (Thu)

Jonathan Powers always says Flunk Day will be May 9th, and since Jonathan Powers is always right, obviously Flunk Day will be May 9th.

May 10, 2019 (Fri)

Flunk Day 2016

track MWC championships

Detective Pikachu comes out today, possibly Ryan Reynolds blessing us with a Friday Flunk?

May 13, 2019 (Mon)

May 14, 2019 (Tue)

May 15, 2019 (Wed)

track invitational today

May 16, 2019 (Thu)

PS 237 has this day listed as a Flunk make up day, meaning Flunk Day has to be on or before this date, right? Either that or it’s a Nationalist uprising.

More track invitational today

May 17, 2019 (Fri)

May 20, 2019 (Mon)

May 21, 2019 (Tue)

Monica Berlin's senior portfolio section has their final due the 21st. Sure sign of Flunk, or sure sign of the opposite?

May 22, 2019 (Wed)

May 23, 2019 (Thu)

Flunk day today. Power move. <-- OOF

June 2, 2019 (Sun)

Psych: Convocation canceled, replaced with Flunk Day.

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