Velociraptors
Velociraptors were actually only 3 feet tall. Michael Crichton's popular novel Jurassic Park and subsequent Spielberg film greatly exaggerated the strength and size of velociraptors.
The Truth[edit]
The above description is a classic example of the shamelessness and skill employed by the velociraptor/velociraptor-apologist in lulling we humans into a false sense of security. In actual fact, velociraptors will fuck your shit up...physically, psychologically, and spiritually. I myself was once on site at an archeological dig with my parents in the early-to-mid nineties. Upon seeing an image of a velociraptor skeleton, I said ignorantly, insolently, "That doesn't look very scary. More like a six-foot turkey." It was then that the rugged, misanthropic leader of the project turned to me and delivered a monologue I shall never forget--nor should any of you.
You'd get your first look at the six-foot turkey as you move into a clearing. But raptor, he knew you were there a long time ago. He moves like a bird; lightly, bobbing his head, And you keep still, because you think maybe his visual acuity's based on movement, like a T-Rex, and he'll lose you if you don't move. But no. Not velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares back. That's when the attack comes - - not from the front, no, from the side, from the other two raptors you didn't even know were there. Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns, and he's out in force today. And he slashes at you with this--a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the middle toe. They don't bother to bite the jugular, like a lion, they just slash here, here--or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. Point is, you're alive when they start to eat you. Whole thing took about four seconds.
Be careful out there, folks.
Other Theories[edit]
Velociraptors were Jesuslike in appearance, strength, and spirituality, reason enough for the cultlike following they have at Knox College.
See Rup Sarkar
