http://thewikifire.org/api.php?action=feedcontributions&user=Tokesmcscrotes69&feedformat=atomThe Wiki Fire - User contributions [en]2024-03-29T04:37:15ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.34.0http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2015&diff=28367Flunk Day 20152014-06-18T15:53:55Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
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<div>Considering the "Final Flunk" is already years passed, will there even be a Flunk Day this year? Is it always going to be on a Monday? Will Professor Umbridge (The Deans Southern) finally and forever kill fun? Will [[Students For Flunk Day Truth]] actually "battle against the academic gluttony of the East Coast Ivory Tower Intellectual Liberal Elitists" and once and for all convince the Knox community that Flunk Day is not, in fact, real? Most importantly, what we must ask ourselves at such times is, "Should I grab my [[bong]] and [[Pabst Blue Ribbon]] now and squeeze and extra 12 hours out of this Flunk Day or wait for the email?" For answers, we look to history: [[Flunk Day 2014]], [[Flunk Day 2013]], and so on. As for tangible, informed sources, we know that only the true harbinger of Flunk is that revered pastoral scene of [[Xavier Romano]] and [[Roger Taylor]] riding Ol' Smokie (their unicorn) and puffing on their 6-footer. Until such a time comes: Flunk on, brave Flunkers, Flunk on. <br />
<br />
==June 18, 2014==<br />
Galesburg zoned for marijuana growing operations, THIS COULD BE HUGE.[http://www.galesburg.com/article/20140618/NEWS/140619706]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2015&diff=28366Flunk Day 20152014-06-18T15:50:15Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>Considering the "Final Flunk" is already years passed, will there even be a Flunk Day this year? Is it always going to be on a Monday? Will Professor Umbridge (The Deans Southern) finally and forever kill fun? Will [[Students For Flunk Day Truth]] actually "battle against the academic gluttony of the East Coast Ivory Tower Intellectual Liberal Elitists" and once and for all convince the Knox community that Flunk Day is not, in fact, real? Most importantly, what we must ass ask ourselves at such times is, "Should I grab my [[bong]] and [[Pabst Blue Ribbon]] now and squeeze and extra 12 hours out of this Flunk Day or wait for the email?" For answers, we look to history: [[Flunk Day 2014]], [[Flunk Day 2013]], and so on. For tangible, informed sources of information, we know that only the true harbinger of Flunk is that revered pastoral scene of [[Xavier Romano]] and [[Roger Taylor]] riding Ol' Smokie (their unicorn) and puffing on their 6-footer. Until such a time comes: Flunk on, brave Flunkers, Flunk on. <br />
<br />
==June 18, 2014==<br />
Galesburg zoned for marijuana growing operations, THIS COULD BE HUGE.[http://www.galesburg.com/article/20140618/NEWS/140619706]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2015&diff=28365Flunk Day 20152014-06-18T15:46:45Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: Created page with "Considering the "Final Flunk" is already years passed, will there even be a Flunk Day this year? Is it always going to be on a Monday? Will Professor Umbridge (The Deans South..."</p>
<hr />
<div>Considering the "Final Flunk" is already years passed, will there even be a Flunk Day this year? Is it always going to be on a Monday? Will Professor Umbridge (The Deans Southern) finally and forever kill fun? Will [[Students For Flunk Day Truth]] actually "battle against the academic gluttony of the East Coast Ivory Tower Intellectual Liberal Elitists" and once and for all convince the Knox community that Flunk Day is not, in fact, real? Most importantly, what we must ass ask ourselves at such times is, "Should I grab my [[bong]] and [[Pabst Blue Ribbon]] now and squeeze and extra 12 hours out of this Flunk Day or wait for the email?" For answers, we look to history: [[Flunk Day 2014]], [[Flunk Day 2013]], and so on. For tangible, informed sources of information, we know that only the revered pastoral scene of [[Xavier Romano]] and [[Roger Taylor]] riding Ol' Smokie (their unicorn) and puffing on their 6-footer. Until such a time comes: Flunk on, brave Flunkers, Flunk on. <br />
<br />
==June 18, 2014==<br />
Galesburg zoned for marijuana growing operations, THIS COULD BE HUGE.[http://www.galesburg.com/article/20140618/NEWS/140619706]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2014&diff=27861Flunk Day 20142014-01-06T17:29:08Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
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<div>The theme of Flunk Day 2014 will be "80's". That's not true.<br />
---> OhEmGee, that's SO true.<br />
<br />
==January 6, 2014==<br />
It is rumored that the five feet of snow on the ground is the work of the Flunk Day planners, but [[Xavier Romano]] and [[Roger Taylor]] have not yet been spotted with their 5-foot [[bong]]s, so no correlation is likely. <br />
CORRELATION IS ALWAYS LIKELY<br />
<br />
'''11:24 AM''' FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED. Classes, administrative functions, and public events have all been cancelled on the website. THIS COULD BE HUGE? HAPPY FLUNK!<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category:Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2014&diff=27858Flunk Day 20142014-01-06T01:38:42Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
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<div>The theme of Flunk Day 2014 will be "80's". That's not true.<br />
<br />
'''January 6, 2014'''<br />
It is rumored that the five feet of snow on the ground is the work of the Flunk Day planners, but [[Xavier Romano]] and [[Roger Taylor]] have not yet been spotted with their 5-foot [[bong]]s, so no correlation is likely. <br />
<br />
[[Category:Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2014&diff=27857Flunk Day 20142014-01-06T01:37:51Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>The theme of Flunk Day 2014 will be "80's". That's not true.<br />
<br />
'''January 6,2014'''<br />
It is rumored that the five feet of snow on the ground is the work of the Flunk Day planners, but [[Xavier Romano]] and [[Roger Taylor]] have not yet been spotted with their 5-foot [[bong]]s, so no correlation is likely. <br />
<br />
[[Category:Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=27141Flunk Day 20132013-04-30T02:28:53Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 30 */</p>
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<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
'''GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
FLUNK TRUMPS ALL OTHER SCHOOL-PLANNED EVENTS!!!'''''<br />
== Italic text ==<br />
''<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''December 19, 2012'''<br />
A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.<br />
<br />
'''March 4, 2013'''<br />
Roof falls off of Neal.<br />
<br />
'''March 5, 2013'''<br />
Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!<br />
<br />
'''March 15, 2013'''<br />
18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''March 27, 2013'''<br />
[[John Dooley]] says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.<br />
<br />
'''March 28, 2013'''<br />
Official [[Tim Kasser]] Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
8:04 p.m.: [[Kaitlyn Duling]] spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????<br />
<br />
'''March 29, 2013'''<br />
Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! [[Andrei Papancea]] might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member [[Arnold Salgado]] went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...<br />
<br />
'''April 20, 2013'''<br />
4:204:204:204:204:20LINCOLNFEST4:204:204:204:204:20<br />
The only day in recorded history Knox students were on time to anything.<br />
<br />
'''April 21, 2013'''<br />
IT'S DEFINITELY TOMORROW, RIGHT? Yeah. Totally.<br />
<br />
== Flunk Theme 2013 ==<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE.<br />
Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT. <br />
<br />
[[File:space_eel.jpg]]<br />
<br />
<br />
== Flunk Predictions ==<br />
<br />
Senior [[Anna Meier]] has a series on [[The Knox Student]]'s website to predict flunk day. You can follow that here: <br />
http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/<br />
<br />
Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/<br />
<br />
The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. <br />
"Things are moving fast on the Flunk front, which means the OSMFDP remains April 24." &mdash; Sam Martone (@s_martone) April 12, 2013 <---Incorrect once again. Sam Martone has never correctly predicted Flunk Day. He has never even been close. <--- Confirmed. Pretty sad.<br />
<br />
== April 1 ==<br />
<br />
At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
== April 3 == <br />
All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.<br />
<br />
10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8 ==<br />
<br />
First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.<br />
<br />
The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.<br />
<br />
Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.<br />
<br />
== April 9 ==<br />
Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.<br />
<br />
The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 11 ==<br />
T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS. <br />
<br />
Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans. <br />
<br />
== April 14 ==<br />
10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic. <br />
<br />
== April 15 ==<br />
<br />
Regina and Kaitlyn were seen buying their flunk day stashes this weekend, FLUNK DAY IS THIS WEEK!<br />
^that wasn't Kaitlyn's Flunk day stash- that was her weekend stash.<br />
<br />
First day selling Flunk Day shirts!<br />
<br />
5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:<br />
<br />
"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk<br />
Bring us this day our daily dunk<br />
of righteous catharsis<br />
and nightmarish rhymes<br />
so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."<br />
<br />
6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!<br />
<br />
6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.<br />
<br />
7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!<br />
<br />
7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.<br />
<br />
7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?<br />
<br />
8:12pm: SPIES<br />
<br />
8:27pm -- I JUST REALIZED THAT THE SIGN UPS FOR FLUNK DAY FRIARS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED AND SO THAT MEANS THEY NEEDED TO KNOW ASAP WHICH MEANS THAT FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT IS AS SOON AS IT CAN BE WITHOUT INTERFERING WITH EARTH WEEK AHHHHHH START DRINKING! <-- Dude they haven't even had a chance to sell t-shirts or send out the safety e-mail... <+++++ SO!? THEY CAN SEND IT OUT ON THE DAY OF! THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR!! NO JIL GATES, NO SYSTEME!! ... Calm yerself. --> Flunk day isn't for awhile; no friars, shit weather, its too close to midterms<br />
<br />
8:41p. [[File:crazysheep.jpg]]<br />
<br />
'''Flunk day is not today'''<br />
<br />
But we did read this in an email from Deb Southern: <br />
<br />
"The clock is ticking . . . let’s make sure that we work together to ensure that future generations of Knox students will have the opportunity to experience Flunk Day."<br />
<br />
SAFETY EMAIL SENT OUT. The season of Flunk is upon us. <br />
<br />
10:48 p.m: A mysteriously large vehicle drove past the quads twice, shining its luminescent headlights across the buildings. SUSPICIOUS!<br />
<br />
== April 16 ==<br />
'''Dear Conger/Neal, <br />
WHY IS THERE NO FUCKING MUD PIT YET?!?! Flunk day is just around the corner and there is no progress. Step it up quads! Plus, the fact that it might rain again will make the digging easier and more fun.''' <br />
<br />
The famous Art Department Field Trip to Chicago that was scheduled for April 16 was mysteriously canceled on account of too few people signing up... riiiight...<br />
<br />
ALL THE SENIORS ARE CHANGING THEIR PROFILE PICTURES TO PICTURES OF FLUNK. FLUNK IS OBVIOUSLY UPON US.<br />
<br />
3:30 p.m: The Axis Dance Company workshops that were supposed to take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have been cancelled! Obviously Flunk day is Thursday! I mean, how many emails did YOU receive about signing up for it, and now its suddenly canceled!<br />
<br />
11:35pm: Suspicious yelling outside the Yellows. Seniors know all. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 17 ==<br />
It's a Wednesday. Suspicious.<br />
<br />
Heavy rains are forecasted today; along with perfect conditions for Mud Pit Digging. GET ON IT CONGER/NEAL! ASSEMBLE THE SHOVELS!<br />
NEAL 1. MAKE THE FUCKING MUDPIT. I'm talking to you, Mickey, Jodi, Stephanie, Ella, Katie, Britney, Becky and Savannah. Oh And Angie, it would help if you would MOTIVATE your residents, to do THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
^^^ who the fuck is Savannah?! #unansweredquestions #theflunkisuponus<br />
<br />
THE MUD PIT DIGGING HAS COMMENCED! Flunk day screamers, start your engines!! <--- CONFIRMED!! The storm gods know its flunk season!<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 19 ==<br />
Flunk Day did - once - occur on a Friday. Tony Gant reported having extremely hungover, severely sunburnt students the following Monday. <br />
<br />
Could 2013 be the year of FridayFlunk?<br />
<br />
Weather forecast calls for snow. Flunking in the snow? Sounds worse than last year in the rain..<br />
<br />
It's an Admitted Students day so it can't be today.<br />
<br />
12:00 a.m: RUMORS OF MUDPIT DIGGING TONIGHT!<br />
<br />
http://thewikifire.org/images/thumb/2/2b/FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png/180px-FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
'''THIS MUST NEVER DIE'''<br />
Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox. The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care, In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of mud pits danced in their heads. And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash, Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew in a flash, Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds. When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say, I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day! More rapid than eagles, the friars they came, They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name! Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame! To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main! Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
== April 22 ==<br />
<br />
Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling gets a glimmer of fear in her eyes every time someone mentions Meatless Monday. <----SUSPICIOUS.<br />
<br />
Craig Southern spotted on campus several times this weekend.... making sure everything goes well for a Monday Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
Upper Classmen seen at Hyvee buying their Flunk Day stash!--->CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Good weather predicted. No athletic events. Seniors have made all necessary flunk day stash procurements.<br />
<br />
SPOTTED: Regina and Craig Southern at the Landmark. Making final preparations undoubtedly. ---> WHAT TIME?!-> 8:30!<br />
<br />
One of my senior housemates just disappeared and can't be reached. This is unusual. Friar?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't a meatless Flunk Day be SO KNOX? Is there even meat in space? <--- Only freeze dried. If they want it to truly be Space Flunk, there will be no meat. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
8:31pm: Craig Southern spotted in Gizmo, paused in line, and exited. Last minute Flunk Day planning?<br />
<br />
10:17pm >>>>Confirmed reports cite seeing Craig Southern on the telephone in his office around 10:00pm. >>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <<<NOPE! Interviewing campus life position<br />
<br />
10:17pm: BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKK SQQQQQQQUUUUUAAAAAADDDDDDD<br />
<br />
<br />
10:20 Who has tabs on Regina and Kaitlyn? COULD FLUNK DAY BE TOMORROW?!<br />
<br />
10:29 Lights on in the mailroom! Someone keep watch!<br />
<br />
Matthew Becker, one of last years friars, was on campus this weekend. Supposed to be leaving Monday. Why not Sunday? Something's Flunky!<br />
<br />
Three students in Tompkins were just informed by Kathleen Drake that tomorrow is el Dia de Flunk! Should we start drinking now??<br />
<br />
10:45 Kaitlyn's cover photo has turned to Flunk.<br />
<br />
10:57PM: Andrei Papancea looks unusually chipper doing his homework tonight... Sign of Flunk Day in the air?<br />
<br />
11:03 Three Seniors seen with booze and air horns. Are they Friars? >>>>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:12 Strange animal noises coming from Tompkins. Tomorrow is Flunk <<<<< CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
11:14 Senate president Mike Gasparro changed his profile pic to FLUNKING with Senior class president Justin Steele in it!!! Coincidence? I think not!!!! he has to know <<- THIS COULD BE HUGE!! >>>>>CONFIRMED<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:20 Bethany Marinier leaves the townhouses suspiciously, refuses to answer questions as to where she's going <<< Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:24 Jil Gates, former Master of Fun and Flunk Goddess changed her cover photo to a picture from Flunk Day 2011. She definitely knows that tomorrow's the Flunk.<--- SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE! <--- You think the planners wouldn't invite her to Flunk with us?!!?!? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
11:27pm There are barely any people in the library.....the flunk is all around us. <<<-CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
It has be said that the flunk shipment arrived friday, they can't it for too long. Flunk day is tomorrow. <---- Shipment could also have been for the Lincolnfest picnic. The caf gets shipments every single day. Doesn't mean anything.<br />
<br />
The old flunk day twitter is in denial. Why so eager to say there's no flunk? Suspicious. <<<- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
No one thinks it's Flunk Day tomorrow.....ergo, Flunk Day is tomorrow! <------ CONFIRMED <----------- Flunk while no one is looking, stay vigilant Knox<br />
<br />
11:30 pm Bethany Mariner and Andrei Papancea are spotted hurrying into the Gizmo. Flunk is afoot...<br />
<br />
11:45 I see a new Flunk Day Song. Found from a status on Facebook: <br />
I believe I can flunk. <br />
I believe I can flunk this year! <br />
I think about it every night and day. <br />
Pour a drink and flunk away! <br />
I believe I can flunk!!!! <br />
I see me running through Old Main's lawn. <br />
I believe I can flunk :-)<br />
<br />
11:57pm: Matt J has a court date at 10:30 on April 22nd, it's totally Flunk Day. <-- I don't know if this is CONFIRMED but either way THIS IS HUGE. <--- CONFIRMED, I got pulled over with him in Peoria, they thought we were running drugs back to Galesburg, but in reality we had gone to Culver's and cashed his paycheck. <br />
<br />
11:59p.m: Regina Rosenbrock spotted sealing her eyes shut with neon puffy paint. Flunk? <-- Why would you seal your eyes with puffy paint if the greatest day of the year is coming up? Should be lining them and making them stay open! For all the Flunking!<br />
<br />
12:03am: Renowned former Knox attendee, [[Alicia Niles]] seriously considers buying a 7am train ticket as Flunksurance, THIS COULD BE HUGE <-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUFT35S7Jb4<br />
<br />
12:31 AM: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS <--- When the Dark Lords of Flunk evoke the ghost of Lincoln, times are desperate.<-- You guys keep this up, and Lincoln's ghost will come down and destroy Flunk Day. Don't provoke the 16th President. <-- "If you're a racist I will attack you with the North." - Abraham Lincoln - Michael Scott<br />
<br />
1:56 AM: Kaity HutchCroft posted a picture of people digging the mudpit on Instagram!!!! Possibilities of flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 23 ==<br />
4:32 PM: Andrei has purchased an air horn. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
5:47 PM: .......it begins.......<br />
<br />
6:30 PM: Andrei Papancea spotted at Walmart looking at what seems to be a large, glass vessel... This could be huge.<br />
[[File:vessel.png]]<br />
<br />
10:26 PM: Nice little four hour break for a pre Flunk Day posting session. Way to go WikiFire. <-- I don't know whether to be suspicious or disappointed.<br />
<br />
11:30 PM: Flunk day must be tomorrow because it is the only day I have classes. Also, Andrei was not at chapter the other day. He was probably out coordinating things last minute...<br />
<br />
Alumni friend messaged and said she heard it was this day....<br />
<br />
12:03 AM: I'M ALDUS SNOW. BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT. <-------CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
Suspicious Facebook event for Alumni Flunk Day today and Wednesday? Hmm... <------- Those are never relevant to the actual flunk day, get with it!<br />
<br />
1:06 AM: LOUD NOISES HEARD NEAR THE SOCCER FIELD. PROBABLY SOME FORM OF TRAIN. <----- Thank you. For real. This brought a smile to face that needed it. Flunk on, my friends, flunk until the Earth stops spinning.<br />
<br />
1:48 AM: Goldie said he didn't see any unusual people buying unusually large quantities of alcohol. He thinks it's too early for Flunk Day. But the Soviets thought it was too early to put a person on the moon in '69 and we gave the doubters some permanent footprints and a perpetually mid-wave flag on the lunar surface. SPACE FLUNK. <---- No one buys Flunk Day stashes from the Quickie!<br />
<br />
== April 24 ==<br />
<br />
Kathy in the caf said that she hasn't started preparing the Flunk Day baked goods yet, and she usually starts a few days before Flunk. Her guess is that Flunk Day will be sometime next week.<br />
<br />
Josh Hosmer-Quint asked Kaitlin Duling if Flunk Day is gonna be this upcoming Wednesday. She winked at him. <br />
Seems legit. <--- NOT LEGIT. NOT CONFIRMED. Just because she winked at him DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GONNA BE FLUNK DAY. <--- Yeah! Kaitlyn Duling winks at everybody. REAL NICE PREDICTION YOU HAVE THERE. <--- I so agree with you. I wish people would stop posting jokes on the WikiFire. I actually want to know when Flunk Day is going to be. <--- Confirmed. Some people are serious students and actually need to know for their planning. <--- I KNOWWWW. <--- Yeah, people seriously need to stop trolling. <---but the WikiFire is troll central. It's part of the fun. DO YOU EVEN GO HERE <--- Look, referencing The Breakfast Club doesn't make you look smarter. Editing The Wiki Fire doesn't make you more clever. And trolling me definitely isn't gonna stop me from beating you. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. <--- Well that escalated quickly. <--- not really... <--- Ain't nobody got time this. <--- People don't even bother proofreading thier comments. < haha what about your comment that's ironic <--- CONFIRMED LOLOLOL <--- I just wish people would treat each other respect. <--- Yeah, and taking the WikiFire and especially the Flunk Day page seriously instead of just making jokes on it. <--- THANK YOU. <br />
<br />
^^^FOR THE SAKE OF THE ABOVE, LET IT BE FLUNK ON THIS DAY. Have you people lost the spirit entirely? Or are you first years who know no better? Flunk Day is not about planning. Flunk Day is not about being a serious student. Why else would they put FLUNK in the title? FLUNK your planners, FLUNK your regular lives, FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK. THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED. <--- can we all stop replacing "fuck" for "flunk?" it makes us all sound like Christian Bible Camp team leaders or something. Would you actually say "Flunk you" out loud trying to be funny? my guess is no... <---"flunk you" in response to this. <-- SERIOUSLY? Who are you people? FLUNK DAY IS THE GREATEST OF DAYS. Stop the negativity and FLUNK<br />
<br />
<br />
'''<br />
Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(see schedules below)''' Its not gonna be flunk day. 1) its midterms 2) the food isn't here 3) in April 29th.<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main<br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, CFA & The Box <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
1:00 PM Baseball - Robert Morris - Springfield (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Softball - Eureka College (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Men's Tennis - Coe College Galesburg, IL <br><br />
4:00 PM Earth Month Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br><br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br><br />
6:00 PM Bike Repair Basics Knox Bike Shop <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br><br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
BUT ACTUALLY: 5am-midnight= FLUNK DAY. Meetings don't matter, clubs don't matter, sports don't matter (in 2010 the golf team got their phones taken away and were informed it was Flunk Day during an away tournament). DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP. No one is better at trolling than the Flunk Day planners. <--Confirmed<br />
<br />
`What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever?' persisted the King.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: `Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.<br />
<br />
`Unimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word sounded best.<br />
<br />
<br />
April 23rd- Kaitlyn looks outside worried and says she hopes it stops raining. ....maybe because she wants perfect weather for Flunk Day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
Driving on the interstate and spotted a replica NASA shuttle launch pad ride thing. This is clearly space themed thus flunk day related. Will check Holiday Inn parking lot and update later if more info. <---- off 74? Where? THIS COULD BE HUGE I WILL PERSONALLY CHECK ON THIS IF I CAN GET MORE INFO THANKS!<br />
<br />
Velociraptors seen running around wearing space helmets with Flunk written on them. Flunk day is tomorrow!!! <-- CONFIRMED <-- Jesus we're back on this shit about Velociraptors? Shit was funny two years ago. <--well someone's clearly lost the Flunk spirit, but no matter [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UVtlb8EJEkU/TuutKN1jp_I/AAAAAAAAA00/gRK1475go6c/s1600/OBrienDino.jpg]<-- Obviously the Velociraptor sightings are bullshit since they died out with the Final Flunk. What you actually saw were Miniature Giant Space Chickens from the planet Acheron. THE FLUNK IS ON!<-- its not quite that easy to kill a velociraptor<--Of course, you must be velociraptor to know that and survived by learning how to use technology.<br />
<br />
7:43pm overheard caf workers complaining about late night food prep for tomorrow's "big event" <-- THIS!!<br />
<br />
I haven't bought my stash yet! SOMEONE TAKE ME TO DISCOUNT I'M SCARED!!<br />
<br />
Senior John Cusimano spotted drunk already?! This could be huge!!-->Confirmed->> DOUBLE CONFIRMED LET'S ALL DRINK <-- John said his 'source' told him today will be Flunk Day <-its because he went out with liz woodyard and alums<br />
<br />
9:33 pm Jmaw Moses, president elect of the Knox College Choir, and leader extraordinaire in Sigma Chi told me that one of his brothers instrumental in planning Flunk Day said tomorrow is the best possibility.<br />
<br />
9:45 PM - The Quickie doors are locked. THIS COULD BE HUGE (or not, some things are just normal-sized)<== Goldie has to go to the bathroom like the rest of us. No panic necessary.<br />
9:50 PM - The Quickie reopened after a very short time (4 minutes 24 seconds, maybe?). Goldie says there's a sale on fifths of Jose Cuervo, and told me "it could be tomorrow," and "tomorrow is the best day" when I checked out.<br />
9:56pm: HyVee Wine and Spirits workers report a large influx of Knox students tonight. COULD IT BE?? <== CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
10:00PM- Schedule says Men's Tennis is playing Coe College; Coe's schedule says they are playing Wartburg.. Wartburg says they are playing Coe at home. HMMMMM?!<br />
<br />
10:04 PM- Seniors seen whispering in hallway in Hamblin. Do friars know who they are yet? Will they not know until Flunk Day? CAN ANYONE CONFIRM OR DENY THESE CLAIMS? <--- They told us we won't know til the morning of.<br />
<br />
10:07 PM Craig Southern seen dashing out of Campus Life office, papers in hand. Making way to Old Main in a hurry. <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<br />
<br />
Has anyone checked the mailroom recently?? They may slip up like they did a couple years ago! <<<---- There's glass doors this year, someone should stake out and wait...<br />
<br />
10:22 CONFRIMED!!! John Cusimano, Liz Woodyard and Alums (mysteriously visiting) running through the halls of hamblin clearly DRUNK WITH FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ON!!!! it's flunk day motherflunkers!!!! <-Chis Johnson visiting isn't mysterious <- yes it is <- no it isn't<br />
<br />
10:23 Ghost of Flunk Day Past to tell you it is FLUNK DAY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE <---CONFIRMED!!! I'm glad someone else remembers this!<br />
<br />
10:23 PM- Walter Palmer reports that tennis is still playing Coe at home because Coe is splitting their squad. In a related story, he also tells his incredibly loud neighbor to "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!"---> if the match was scheduled after they picked the Flunk day date, then it will be cancelled. THe FLunk stops for nothing!<br />
<br />
Walmart is out of Flunk jugs! The seniors know somethinggggggg! Also, now I have nothing to flunk out of... <--- Walmart ran out weeks ago. You must be a first year...<br />
<br />
10:31 FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!! faculty just got an e-mail<br />
<br />
10:41 PM: Goldie predicts that it will rain beer tomorrow! THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
'''LIL B SAYS IT'S FLUNK DAY BITCHESSSSSSSS'''<br />
[[File:<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5FYXbXu45AQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>]]<br />
<br />
Spotted: Potential friars at Duffy's. Regina Rosenbrock--known Flunk Day planner--declined the offer...she vaguely speaks of having "things to do..." Suspicious?<br />
<br />
UPDATE: REGINA JUST LEFT HER APARTMENT. I REPEAT, REGINA HAS LEFT. HER. APARTMENT. WHERE IS SHE GOING? <== AND KAITLYN ISN'T IN HER APARTMENT EITHER!<br />
<br />
Has anyone else realized all the dates are off right now? Today's the 23rd...<-- DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORKS <-- Confirmed <---FRESHMEN!!! haha you write things on the date you think it is going to be. <--- Incorrect. Look at past years. You write on the day that it IS, like a timeline...<<<<YOU DO FUCKING BOTH.....<=yeah, if you have info for a specific day you post there, or if you're logging events that took place today you do it here.<br />
<br />
10:53: Bethany Mariner re-sends flunk day work reschedules to Union Board workers!!<--CONFIRMED <--Has anyone seen her!?<br />
<br />
10:58pm:Senior Abe Eastman and friend of Regina seen leaving Post<br />
<br />
THE Matt Gordon SAYS tomorrow is FLUNK DAY. THIS IS HUGE<br />
<br />
THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. I REPEAT, THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. START DRINKING NOW <--- CONFIRMED!! <--- Pictures required for us plebeians that aren't RA's <--- take a screenshot! then TAKE A SHOT! <-- The RAs don't get previous knowledge of Flunk Day. Source: I'm an RA <--maybe they just don't like you and you're a bad ra? <-- Maybe we don't get to know because we're like every other student and want to have the blissful surprise of the Flunk Day fairies dancing in our dreams! <-- Why am I not in this secret society of RA's, I'm cool guys. <-- We're RAs. Probably meaning we're not "that" terribly cool.<br />
<br />
STUDENTS ABROAD GOT THE EMAIL. <- CONFIRMED I wish I was on campus. Have fun everyone! <---------- forrealdoe?<br />
<br />
Sources (the flunk day advisor) have confirmed that she had to go to a meeting for flunk day planning and flunk day is NOT the 24th!<--obviously a trick. Why would the flunk day advisor tell any student when Flunk day is?? <-- Jil Gates is gone! LIES! <-- There is NO LYING ON THE WIKIFIRE!<----CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
11:11 MAKE A WISH IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW<br />
<br />
Saw Regina walking in UB OFFICE!<-- CONFIRMED! I saw her too! Has anyone seen the other 3??<br />
<br />
11:25- Helmet seen carrying crates full of hot dog and hamburger buns through the loading dock of the caf <<<< CONFIRMED <<<<<<<< THIS IS HUGE<<<<<<PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN ... wait i totally saw hime when he stopped at the intersection of south and west to let me cross. AAHHHHHAHHAHAHAIfhsoH+OIHSFHSDF!!! its really flunk day! <--- Helmut has a tiny car, I remain unconvinced. <br />
<br />
11:47 Just saw a bouncy castle in a pick up truck in Walmart parking lot! <---Pics or it didn't happen. <--- Pretty sure it didn't happen. It's 1 AM exactly and I just returned from Walmart. There was one suspicious semi, unmarked. No apparent bouncy materials though.<br />
<br />
11:55 Regina and Bethany have both liked a Knox Compliments status within the last 15 minutes. They are on Facebook. <---Holy shit, I'M ON FACEBOOK TOO, FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
11:57 seniors spotted at the mud pit <br />
<br />
11:59 NASA has received dozens of reports of UFOs traveling over the Galesburg area, put on your space hats and start drinking!<---You're not funny. Please leave.<--Feel the Flunk. <br />
<br />
12:00 AM [http://imgur.com/gallery/z7Vmd] Flunk Day kittehs confirm... its time to get drunk!<br />
<br />
Deleting my comments about the RA email? Flunk Day for sure tomorrow. Good game, everyone.<--gg wp <--- somebody also deleted my comment about [[bong]]s and [[beer]]. FLUNK FASCISTS <-- Bongs having its own page makes me happy. Much like bongs.<br />
<br />
12:20 AM WHERE ARE THE PLANNERS!? AND HAS ANYONE CHECKED THE MAIL ROOM??<=Regina is still MIA from her room, Bethany seen entering longden/Griffith, known residence of Amelia, BFFL and secret flunk day planner <False, Bethany is in her room hyped up on coffee.<--THIS COULD BE HUGE, planning for a late night?<br />
<br />
12:24 AM It warms my heart to see the wikifire so tightly packed with enthusiasm, I can't stress this enough. <---CONFIRMED. ME TOO. Feeling the Flunk. <--- If all of these comments were in a bucket and someone tried to pull just one of them out, many comments would end up popping out because of how TIGHTLY PACKED they are...and I can't stress this enough.<=== as tightly packed at Freshmen in the foam pit! <br />
<br />
STOP THINKING IT IS FLUNK DAY! BASEBALL AND SOFTBALL HAVE GAMES! THEY WOULD NOT PUT IT ON A DAY WITH TWO SPORTING EVENTS! <--- Flunk is a [http://feel.livelyblog.com/files/2012/08/battlefeel.jpg battlefeel]<br />
<br />
Tennis also has a match scheduled, just forget it. <----- '''Athletic events have suffered in the past. The FLUNK will stop for nothing!!'''<br />
<br />
CNN reports that Flunk Day is NOT tomorrow, so it is probably tomorrow<br />
<br />
Keep the faith Flunk Day trumps all!!<br />
<br />
CAN WE BE FORREAL FOR A SECOND I AM VERY NOT PREPARED FOR FLUNK I AM SORRY AND ASHAMED<br />
<br />
12:45 AM CLEVERBOT SAYS IT'S FLUNK DAY, THEREFORE IT IS SO!<br />
<br />
12:46 AM Andrei spotted doing nothing all that interesting. THROWING US OFF THE TRAIL OF FLUNK?????<br />
<br />
12:52 AM Could someone help me with my CS homework?<br />
<br />
12:54 AM Official Sam Martone Flunk Day prediction CONFIRMED!! <== Andrei confirms via facebook!<br />
<br />
12:57 AM Campus Safety Officer in Rodge Lodge said he is excited for Flunk Day but he knows it is not tomorrow. Conclusion: Flunk Day is not tomorrow. <-- [http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3u2k91/] <=Campus Safety does not know the date of Flunk day <= CONFIRMED <- campus safety does not know when flunk day is, but it is suspicious<------very much NOT CONFIRMED, CSOs do know the date, as well as GPD, etc.<br />
<br />
4:47 AM Caf lights are on; two campus safety officers were seen with a caf worker. Do they come this early to prep breakfast? Is this the flunk?<br />
<br />
It was a scare. Go to bed. Do your cs homework.<br />
<br />
== April 25 ==<br />
<br />
This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?<br />
<br />
It cannot be today as the Thursday before the concert is the Symphony move day and Pearl (da boss) has already submitted it to the school as a conflict date. Source: I work for her. <<<What even is this and also who cares<br />
<br />
5:24 Still need help with CS<br />
<br />
1:08 JPow sent out an email to Econ 110 saying there would be no class tomorrow (4/25) "in celebration of your fine (I hope) performance on today's (4/24) exam." But it's not in celebration of our exams... IT'S IN CELEBRATION OF FLUNK!!!<br />
<br />
7:17 REGINA SPOTTED WITH SEMI FLUNK DAY IS NIGH!!! [[http://i.imgur.com/blCFmcl.jpg]]<br />
<br />
10:27 Black Sabbath and Justin Bieber play back to back on WVKC. Tomorrow's Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
I cannot be denied that April 25th is the best date. [[http://cdn.crushable.com/files/2011/04/misscongenialityapril25-490x532.png]] <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Late report, but still potentially significant: Kaitlyn seen frantically texting and/or checking things on her phone before 5th period outside the Alumni Room.<br />
<br />
Regina changed her profile picture to Flunking Festivities. Flunk Day is tomorrow<br />
<br />
12:37 AM David Gentry spotted in his own flunking room doing homeworks by his apartment mate. flunk day confirmed.<br />
<br />
== April 26 ==<br />
<br />
Official Tim Kasser prediction.<br />
<br />
Admitted students day- Flunk will not be today. Unlikely to be day before because campus will be messed up for the prospies. <--- False. Admitted Students Day is this Friday (the 19th). CHECK YO EVENTS CALENDAR. <---CONFIRMED. April 26 is NOT an Admitted Students day. There are no more of them!<br />
<br />
Run-A-Thon- Flunk will not be today.<br />
<br />
Plus, Knox is making a big deal of the Earth Month activities for that weekend and they likely don't want the campus all messed up for that. <---Campus has been flunked up for bigger activities. If this day is not Flunk, it will more likely be because it is a Friday.<br />
<br />
The State Superintendent of Education is visiting campus today. Not a chance of Flunk. <---Confirmed. The Ed department told all the majors to look presentable in class.<br />
<br />
9:18PM its supposed to be 62 degrees and nice tomorrow. flunk day?? <br />
<br />
9:22 PM no one thinks its flunk day. flunk day confirmed?<br />
<br />
What ever happened to no Friday Flunk? Is that not a real argument anymore? <-- possible that the new President doesn't know the No Friday rule + No master of fun this year. Flunk Day planners may have been able to get away with it for once.<br />
<br />
Awesome people spotted getting flunk day outfits from the Salvation Army. Flunk is near!<br />
<br />
10PM Helmut just now seen leaving the caf!! A little late?<br />
<br />
== April 29 ==<br />
<br />
The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.<br />
<br />
Word is the Baseball Gods and the Flunk Day Gods have been working in cahoots this year. After a long trip to and from Wisconsin on this weekend the combo of Gods have decided that this is the only viable option for Flunk Day. The scripture is written and so it shall be.<--Except for the fact a doubleheader vs. Loras was rescheduled to this day. Not gonna happen.<---AHA but there be hope yet. Loras still lists the Knox doubleheader as cancelled and has no games listed for the 29th. Eisele is trying to trick us but we shall not let him!<---The game has been removed from the events calendar & the baseball schedule. <---According to an email from the Loras Head Coach, the games were never scheduled to be made up due to their conference scheduling. Suspicious...<---Flunk Day is Monday, that is of course unless Coach I desires to play Spoon River again.<br />
<br />
There is a professor from California giving a lecture today.<----Flunk Day is more important than California.<br />
<br />
THIS IS THE LAST DAY THAT FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ARE ON SALE. SUSPICIOUS? FLUNKSPICIOUS?<br />
<br />
In class when asked about picking a date for a movie both Regina and Bethany were both suspiciously busy on this day. When asked why they became shifty and said because of union board. When confronted further they became nervous <-- They are masters of deceit. Also, when the fuck are we gonna hear about who the friars are? Cause I'm tryna get shit balls drunk on chocolate milk.<---Last year's friars did not find out until the morning of Flunk Day & they were asked to sign up. <br />
<br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] says that today is NOT flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<-- Its also like 300 other peoples 4th flunk day. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
THE ALMOND BROTHERS SPOTTED ON CAMPUS FLUNK DAY IS TODAY!! [http://i.imgur.com/ihqYTLQ.jpg]<br />
<br />
Let the Monday hype begin.<br />
<br />
I hope everyone has his or her stash! I hope everyone has his or her Flunk Day outfit planned. BECAUSE FLUNK DAY IS ON MONDAY. MONDAY FLUNK DAY. MONDAY FLUNK DAY. MONDAY FLUNK DAYYYYY!!!!<br />
<br />
I asked [[Bethany Mariner]] today if Monday is Flunk Day. She refused to answer the question and immediately walked away. <--She does that for any question about flunk day.<br />
<br />
<br />
Reasons Flunk Day is tomorrow:<br />
1) The screen from earthday is still out there <--------They don't do weekend pick ups. don't get your hopes up<br />
<br />
2) the tent from Cats and Lasers is still there<br />
<br />
3) The stage is still there<br />
<br />
4) its after Midterms, so there are no academic problems <-LIES. I have 3 midterms this week (monday/tuesday/wednesday), I still hope flunk day is Monday though. <br />
<br />
5) The Miami Heat swept the Bucks<br />
<br />
6) [[Abe Eastman]] thinks its flunk day<br />
<br />
7) There have been '''2''' food deliveries in the past week <---- THIS MEANS NOTHING. There is a food delivery EVERY DAY. <br />
<br />
8) the speaker can easily speak the next day (and she's talking about ancient Christian texts, and the professor responsible for bringing her is the Latin professor, and ancient christian texts should be in Aramaic. <-- She is actually talking about why ancient LATIN texts were kept in circulation in the Christian academy despite their obscene nature. Also, ancient Christian texts aren't just in Aramaic-- the entire New Testament was in Ancient Greek. Ugh.<--Latin Vulgate, Greek Septuagint, Fail.<--Agreed Point is Thoroughly wrong. Not to mention classical style of composition and narrative (Paul's letters)and references to the classical tradition through out.Oxford does not publish a Greek Biblical Lexicon for nothing: http://www.amazon.com/Greek-English-Lexicon-Testament-Christian-Literature/dp/0226039331 .<br />
<br />
9) ??????????? <--- Get shitfaced<br />
<br />
10) Profit?????????<br />
<br />
Conclusion?<br />
Its time to get ya'll flunk on Mother Fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
I ran into Craig Southern at the Earth Day event yesterday and he says a Monday Flunk day this year is not likely. Or is it??<br />
<br />
1:00 - 2:00 pm: Andrei and Regina spotted carrying boxes out of the Campus Life office. They shadily avoided eye contact with nearby knox students.<br />
<br />
3:00 pm: The Shiva blessed Flunk Day at C2E2 today. This is happening boys and girls.<br />
<br />
(Moderator Note: File deleted due to size. If this photo is re-added, it will continually be deleted and the user will be blocked.) <br />
<br />
3:43 PM Why would Union Board make Flunk Day tomorrow after a huge Union Board event-filled weekend? that doesn't make sense. Flunk Day unlikely.<----- Less clean up days. Just clean it all up at once instead of cleaning this mess up and then Flunk day in a couple of days.<br />
<br />
every weekend is "a huge Union Board event-filled weekend." the flunk abides.<br />
<br />
4:46 PM Dogs heard barking. Perhaps they smell the flunk approaching?<----- DOGS ARE BARKING! This could be huge!<br />
<br />
76 degrees and sunny, the Flunk Gods decree that it be flunk. <<<silly first years, weather doesn't matter!<br />
<br />
7:32PM Staff e-mail says to prepare for an "unusually early and exciting" morning. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED! <-- Whoa whoa whoa. Can we get REAL confirmation on this?? <- yeah trying to take a screenshot but my computer is failing, I got the e-mail forwarded from a friendly caf worker, if i can get this to work i also need to block out their name (believe what you want, i don't want to get them in trouble so im blocking it out) <br />
<br />
7:35 PM Lane V Sunderland says its Flunk Day. Ergo it must be Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
8:04 Does anyone NOT have anything to do that can go sleuthing for clues around town? Can we get some pics of trailers, large trucks, or other mysterious clues that point to Flunk Day? WE NEED TO GET THIS BALL ROLLING. WE MUST FIND THE FLUNK, NOT LET THE FLUNK FIND US.<br />
<br />
<br />
8:09 Civettini seen drinking with staff at McGillacuddy's. mumbling about his statistical model. <---That is fairly normal. <---- CIVETTINI IS THE TROLLIEST PROFESSOR EVER!!!! Do not Believe his POLITICAL SCIENCE LIES!!!!! <---Andy lives every day like it's Flunk Day <---- I represent that remark. <---don't you mean resent? <---- Confirmed!!!!! First hand source!!!!<br />
<br />
8:12 Two alums who work together in Chicago seen on campus. I think the one is engaged to a girl that still goes here? But I saw on facebook that she's not even in town. Insider info?? <-false, this means absolutely nothing. there were alums on campus last week too and one got engaged to a girl thats still here, didn't mean anything about flunk day. Plus, what creepy alum would come back just for flunk day? Grow up already. <- I know about 5 that came back thinking it was flunk day last week, they aren't creepy, they just like excuses to drink with friends that are still here. go home freshmen, you're drunk. <-- freaks. get a job. <- two are self-employed (doing well) and the other three make over $75,000/year (and they just graduated in teh last 2 years), one makes over $100,000, before you judge you should consider whether or not you'll be 1/4 of that successful when you graduate. They were able to visit because they could afford to. YOU grow up. <br />
<br />
To the person that posted the gigantic picture. Really? I mean come on. <-seconded<br />
<br />
Bethany is ACTUALLY hanging out with bff Amelia. Obviously flunk tomorrow.<br />
<br />
8:50 PM - Do shipments of food mean anything? ANYWAY, people should be out and about near the hotels by Target to see if there are any trailers and other big trucks. That is the dead give away. If you're out there, TAKE PICTURES! Be safe, little Prairie Fires.<br />
<br />
9:03 PM Velociraptor spotted in Knoxville <-- We should be concerned with UFO's bro <- and HOW exactly do you think they got here? UFOs bro. Velociraptors in UFOs. Flunk day confirmed. <br />
<br />
9:06 PM I had a dream that Arthur Pascale was wearing a fez. It MUST be flunk day.<br />
<br />
Regina telling seniors they better get their stash if they haven't yet. <<<< PLEASE GOD LET THIS BE TRUE <-- she's screwing with you. Regina will never give any clues. <--confirmed! I WAS THERE. <--- Regina lies even when she tells the truth.<br />
<br />
Regina started drinking! <-- pics or it didn't happen Boom! CONFIRMED [[{{ns:image}}:EVIDENCE.jpg]]<br />
Regina gettin drunk at BDUBS!<<<<Timestamp?? Also, this picture was obviously taken during the day<br />
<br />
Joel Estes seen drinking at the bar at Buffalo Wild Wings<br />
<br />
There's no way its Flunk Day tomorrow... Debbie Southern set up a meeting with me tomorrow, she obviously wouldn't infer to do it on Monday if it was Flunk Day.<---Who are you and why are you evil? <<<<<<< Debbie likes to play mind games when it comes to Flunk Day. IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piVnArp9ZE0 <--- Truth. Debbie is known to mess with people when it comes to Flunk Day<br />
<br />
I had a meeting scheduled with Heather Poppy on Flunk Day last year. It didn't happen. Meetings don't matter. <---CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
9:26PM is anyone checking campus or the mail room? post pictures!<----go and do it yourself! Also just checked target, nothing there. Just the usual Walmart semis at Walmart. Nothing flunkspicios<br />
<br />
Vince Rug, class of 2012--works in Chicago, seen on campus. Vince allegedly was last year's Secret Flunk Day Planner, could he have insider information again this year?? <--- Vince is on campus more than most students are. <-- CONFIRMED regardless he knew last year so it would only make sense he'd know again this year. THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
Vince Rug and Ben Wetherbee, also class of 2012 and an Admissions Counselor at Knox, spotted at Fat Fish Pub. THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
9:51 p.m. Lights seen on in the Office of Communications!!!! <--- this means nothing, that office works all hours.<br />
<br />
9:54PM its not flunk day. study for your midterms. <--- What is wrong with you. <-just making sure people pass their damn midterms. worst case scenario people stay up thinking its flunk day when it obviously ISN'T then fail, just a friendly reminder to study because flunk day tomorrow isn't likely <br />
<br />
9:55PM [Lyana Sun Han] rolling around her suite in Post, she feels the Flunk in her bones! It's obviously tomorrow!<br />
<br />
Campus life has been calling suites around campus saying "to be well rested in case of any unexpected activities tomorrow", Flunk Day yes? <- if this is really happening, it's proof that it ISN'T flunk day tomorrow, they're obviously trolling. on the real flunk day eve they will be silent.<--WHATTTT this happened to us too!! IS IT FLUNK DAY OR WHAT?!!<---Why the fuck would we be silent if we knew it was flunk day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
10PM Helmut just now seen leaving the caf!! A little late?<br />
<br />
This is Civ's FB status right now<br />
<br />
'''Dance like nobody is watching. Drink like tomorrow's flunk day.'''<br />
<br />
its fucking flunk day<br />
<br />
It isn't flunk day. there is a scare planned for tomorrow morning though. don't listen to or feed the trolls. <-- 2009, a scare turned into flunk day. Last year the seniors planned scares and wanted jack to confirm. believe you asshole. '''BELIEVE''' <---CONFIRMED! 2011 also had a scare that turned into Flunk Day <--- This could be huge.<br />
<br />
10:10 p.m. Stephen Douglas impersonator spotted near Williston. THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
10:24 p.m. Nothing suspicious around hotels near Target. Only one large GNC semi in parking lot of Fairfield Inn.<br />
<br />
10:25 p.m. REGINA SPOTTED ENTERING THE UNION BOARD STORAGE ROOM IN SEYMOUR (IN THE HALLWAY BY THE MAILROOM STAIRCASE). SHE SMILED WHEN A STAFF MEMBER ASKED IF IT'S FLUNK DAY. <---- Confirmed!<br />
<br />
10:28 p.m. I pooped my pants. Soo...flunk day?<<--Depends, was it HUGE?<br />
<br />
I'd like to think that Regina and the other planners are smarter than to do those preparations in full sight if they were for The Day. Just saying<br />
<br />
SATURN IS SO CLOSE TO ME. FLUNK DAY MUST BE TOMORROW. <---CONFIRMED! What better time to have Space Flunk when one of the most iconic images of space is the closest to us as it can be? <br />
<br />
10:31 pm Kaitlyn spotted rushing direction Union Board office looking stressed. <---CONFIRMED! Talked to her, and she was very unwilling to respond to simple greetings <- lies shes sleeping in her room go to sleep. <---- Who sleeps at 10:30 on a Sunday night? <- normal people? go to bed. <---ABSOLUTELY NOT CONFIRMED by her roommate! She claims to be in the library but wasn't there either!!!!<br />
<br />
Two trailers spotted in the Holliday inn parking lot <-- Evidence? <- people are ALWAYS staying there, sometimes with trailers, tahts how hotels work.<br />
<br />
10:52pm campus safety spotted checking to make sure everything was locked up. not really unusual but maybe checking to ensure no one covered in mud/drunk can get into the buildings??<br />
<br />
10:53 PM Michelle Obama spotted preparing for flunk day!!<br />
[http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maf7mdFtq81r32taso1_500.gif<br />
]<br />
<br />
11:00 pm My phone will not connect to my computer so I can upload pictures of trailers in hotel parking lots. DEFINITELY Flunk Day. <- second one of these. clearly it isn't flunk day and people are trolling. <---Trolling? What does that mean?<br />
<br />
11:05pm Not flunk day as confirmed by caf workers (real ones not the student workers) <-- How did you get in contact with a caf worker at 11:00 PM? Also, most of them don't know for sure until they are called in early to work. <---Confirmed! <- not all of us are from far away, I'm friends with two of the caf workers who live in galesburg, they're real people I texted them earlier one just responded, that's how. its not like I magically hunted them down and cornered these people i didn't know who work in the caf and made them tell me whether or not it was flunk day. it isn't flunk day. confirmed. sorry to disappoint. <-- I am aware they are "real people," but that doesn't give them magical knowledge of Flunk Day. Usually they can only gauge within a few days of the Flunk Day because they can see the food supplies, but they don't know the day until they are called in! They could be giving you their best guess, though. Sorry to disappoint. <- it isn't flunk day because they know when flunk day is already (well one does, she's coming in early to help set up), i'm just not telling you when tehy said it was to avoid getting them in trouble. flunk day is NOT tomorrow, so if you have homework PLEASE DO IT!!! it is this week though! <---BOO, YOU STINK. DON'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK. IT'S CALLED FLUNK DAY FOR A REASON!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
Not Flunk Day. Seems like this campus needs one more good scare. If not two. Social media networks explodin' real good though. <----It's Flunk Day until proven otherwise by the lack of the email in the morning. <--Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:11 Loud music coming from Tompkins...seniors welcoming el dia de Flunk??<br />
<br />
Get in the spirit all of you negative nancy's out there. Instead of trying to find out when Flunk Day '''isn't''' help us find out when Flunk Day '''is''' <---- CONFIRMED <-- I have never encountered so many Flunk Day killjoys.<--confirmed, and you must have never experienced a flunk day to talk like that!<br />
<br />
11:30 My body is ready. <--- '''CONFIRMED''' <----DOUBLE CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
11:33 Flunk Day is not tomorrow. I also heard from a caf worker. it's wednesday, not tomorrow. i dont care about posting it unlike the other poeple becasue no one will know which caf worker anyway (assuming we heard from teh same one which i doubt) and even then its not a big deal. Flunk day is wednesday. go to sleep. <br />
<br />
Nope, in the last 3 years people keep saying the caf workers tell them. And every year they've been wrong<br />
KEEP THE FAITH YOU NONBELIEVERS <---- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
My mom is in town tomorrow. Karma will make it flunk day. Have faith.<br />
<br />
11:34 pm: The seniors in the corner of Tompkins are being rowdier than usual on a Sunday <== Yeah! Sundays are the only days those girls ever do any work! Something is up! <== CONFIRMED! They are chillin' right outside my door!<br />
<br />
11:37 pm: Alumni email has been sent out. Flunk if you got it. <===8 Sauce?<br />
<br />
Henry told me it was Flunk Day tomorrow. And I think he was sober when he told me so that means it has to be FLUNK DAY tomorrow!!!!!<br />
<br />
11:42 PM: HEY ALL YOU RUDE PEOPLE. IF YOU'RE HERE JUST TO BE MEAN, I HOPE YOU SLEEP THROUGH FLUNK DAY. YOU DON'T DESERVE THE FUN. I, FOR ONE, AM ALREADY DRINKING. I WILL BE READY FOR FLUNK TOMORROW. YOU WILL JUST BE SAD. SENIORS: WE NEED TO RALLY. THIS IS OUR LAST FLUNK DAY AND WE WILL NOT BE BROUGHT DOWN BY THESE DEBBY DOWNERS. '''<----CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!''' <br />
<br />
Gee almighty, 1. the caf workers DO NOT know the date 2. even if they do how do you know they're not messing with you<br />
<br />
11:48 p.m. Kaitlyn Duling spotted in the library, wearing glasses (she usually doesn't) and looking stressed. Is she trolling or is she studying???<br />
<br />
11:50 pm: Does anyone have any ideas what the main event will be for Flunk Day? I haven't heard so much as a peep about it. Last year we knew it'd be a musical guest star, but what about this year? Any insight?<br />
<br />
11:55 PM: Now Kaitlyn is in the gizmo!<br />
<br />
12:05 AM: Dushawn Darling spotted wearing a green cape and pink booty shorts. This could only mean one thing: '''FLUNK DAY IS UPON US!''' <----'''CONFIRMED!!!'''<br />
<br />
12:06 AM: My mind says no, but my body says yes. <<-- False. The gospel of R. Kelly tells the true quote; "My mind's telling me no...but my body, my body's telling me yeah." <br />
<br />
FLUNK DAY = ALL THE LOVE<br />
<br />
The Mud Pit is inadequate. Who will volunteer as tribute?!<br />
<br />
12:15 AM not flunk day, it's wednesday. too many confirmed caf worker sources to be trolling, plus they wouldn't troll they're actually my friends and know I honestly don't care if its tomorrow or not (hoping it was but its whatever). yes, they do actually know, they're staying late tuesday night to help get things together and a few are coming in early, people seem to forget that these people are hired help and they need to know their schedule ahead of time, they can't just get a random call at 3 am saying "lol go figure out a babysitter for your kid and come in immediately, its flunk day!". flunk day wednesday, so stock up! <---- That's exactly what they do to the Gizmo workers. They get a call that morning telling them they have to come in 5 hours before their shift would normally start. Most caf workers don't know the exact date. <-confirmed, my aunt is one of the caf workers, dont tell her I told you if people reading this know who I am/who she is! she made me promise not to say anything, but in case people have work, its definitely wednesday! <---[[http://trololololololololololo.com/]]<-right its not what people wanted to hear therefore i must be trolling. believe what you want im just trying to pass on ACTUAL information for once, everything on here is "omg there was a truck this one time at walmart!" or "i saw someone on union board doing their job!" or "theres a light on in this building!!". sorry for trying to help, your loss. additionally stock up because its freaking WEDNESDAY. <------------- http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/Atr8iFcc0qQ/mqdefault.jpg <------ Do you not understand what the wikifire is for? Where is your Flunk Day Spirit?!?!?! HAS ANYONE SEEN ABE LINCOLN? <---- getting butthurt at trolling and "fake" information? Do you even wikifire? MORE SPIRIT PEOPLE!! <------- I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. <--- she doesn't even go here! <-------- I just have a lot of feelings...<br />
<br />
12:21 AM: Andrei not doing his homework. Probably because HE KNOWS IT'S FLUNK DAY. Or maybe he just finished his homework already. Believe what you will.<br />
<br />
12:21 AM Report: Andrei walked out of campus life office, looking nervous.------<< Confirmed!!Shit is real. it's today!!! <-this is such bullshit, im sitting here nothing is going on or has been for the past 90 minutes at least <-- Lowercase writer, as someone going into his fourth Flunk Day, I want to say that you really don't understand the Flunk Day spirit. <---- confirmed.<br />
<br />
12:31 I'm calling BS on the made of story of the aunt guy. My grandmother ACTUALLY helps out around the caf and I live with her and she is currently not here... For those who know me and who I am talking about can confirm. She's been helping out this entire weekend for day of service and other events around Knox and they've requested her services this entire week...<br />
<br />
Knoxians. Please please pleeeease get in the spirit and try to love each other!! FLUNK DAY!! <----CONFIRMED! Love is really what Flunk Day is about<br />
<br />
12:48 TROLLATIVES<br />
<br />
12:45am: I have a car and I'm really bored. I'm going flunk-huntin'. What are some ideal places or hot spots for supposed trailers, 18wheelers and flunkmobiles to be? Let me know, I will go to as many as I can, and as always, pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
Not even an hour ago two of the Gentlemen of P-house were spotted at Wal-Mart picking up water supplies (I think maybe a slip and slide?). When confronted they pointed me towards the alcohol section and said, "Let the Flunk be the Guide." If that isn't a sign of Flunk, then I don't know what is!<--- I won't start drinking unless one of them was Justin Steele.<br />
<br />
'''The Rules of the Flunk''':<br><br />
1. Thou shalt forever proclaim "Tomorrow is Flunk Day" even when thou knowest it to be false<br><br />
2. Thou shalt encourage thy fellow flunkers in the excitement of the Flunk, not crusheth their dreams<br><br />
3. Thou shalt make silly and ridiculous proclamations such as "Trains were heard. Tomorrow is Flunk." on the WikiFire<br><br />
4. Thou shalt love the Flunk scares for they bring about the anticipation of the Flunk<br><br />
5. Thou shalt never give up hope for Flunk <br><br />
The breakage of any above rule results in the loss of Flunk Spirit by not only your own unfortunate soul, but by the entire campus. Be a jolly Flunker, friends. Be a jolly Flunker.<br><br><br />
<br />
THAT GUY/GAL GETS IT! The Flunk will save us all, even the non-believers!! May the Flunk be with you. <---And with you. <br><br><br />
<br />
It has been postulated that Flunk Day is but a yearly outbreak of campus-wide mass hysteria--that the Day will only Flunk when the Knox population as a whole veers sharply over the edge of sanity into the pit of madness below. Further, it has been postulated that any passerby unaffected by the Flunk Fever's influence would, upon viewing the campus from a distance, see not a jovial celebration but a savage, delirious ritual not unlike the Bacchanalia of old. <br><br />
Of course, any passerby brave or foolish enough to stare into the heart of that chaos will be inevitably drawn into it; Flunk is seductive and hypnotic and ravenous like the prairie fire its victims are named for. It rarely returns the victims it claims, and when it does they come out fundamentally changed, starved for next year's outbreak as though for air.<br><br />
The question, then, is this: what happens when the Fever does not break? What happens when a Day of Flunk no longer satisfies these poor, insane, once-human creatures? The commonly accepted theory is that the madness simply continues to swirl, gaining momentum as it spirals toward the event horizon until nothing can escape--not students, not light, not even time--compressing the campus into a point of zero mass and infinite Flunk. <br><br />
However, some fringe studies have suggested an expansion as the ultimate end. Instead of collapsing in, the fever seeps outward from the source like a toxic cloud, consuming everything in its path. <br><br />
The first option is grim to be sure, but the second poses a much deeper threat as there is no perceived end to this expansion. The fever will consume until the entire city and then the state and then the country and then, eventually, the world is trapped in an unending Flunk--in short, my friends and colleagues, this could truly be huge. <br><br><br />
<br />
<br />
1:15 AM: As of now, I have not seen any semis, flatbeds, trucks of any sort. I'm not truck expert, but I did not see shit out there. I just drove around Target and Walmart areas. Nothing out of the usual. But I'd say keep your eyes peeled around 4 or 5 AM when shit starts to emerge... It is possible that the school is having the Flunk Day equipment wait over in a nearby town such as Knoxville or Monmouth. Keep your Prairie Spirits. Love you all. <--- Like 8 semis parked in the old Econo Foods parking lot. You have to look in out of the ordinary places! <--- ''Donde estan las fotos yo?''<------Sorry, not to be a killjoy, but that happens every night. It's the one *legal* area in Galesburg for truck drivers to park for extended hours for free. Not saying there couldn't be flunk day trucks there...but there are usually at least 12-15 trucks there a night. <br />
<br />
1:22 AM: Just heard a deep maniacal laugh from outside my window. Is this a sign of the Flunk, or should I be scared? <--- Both<br />
<br />
1:28 AM: It smells REALLY FUCKING BAD OUTSIDE YO! WTF! LOL<br />
<br />
1:33 AM: The spirit is willing. I sense flunk on the horizon. I shall slaughter a goat in preparation and prayer.<---That escalated quickly<br />
<br />
1:54 AM: Kaitlyn and Regina seen hugging. <---THIS COULD BE HUG [http://anongallery.org/img/7/5/what-you-did-there-i-see-it-pelican.jpg] <------- Well played, both of you<br />
<br />
2:06AM- No KnoxPostSecret?!? Suspicious.<br />
<br />
2:43 AM Campus is suspiciously quiet...<br />
<br />
2:46 AM: A Prairie Farms milk truck just drove by the quickie, destination unknown.<br />
<br />
3:17 AM: A horse just rode by my window. Flunk Day or a hallucination sent by the flunk gods? You be the judge.<br />
<br />
4:30 AM: WHY ISN'T THIS PAGE ON FIRE RIGHT NOW THIS IS CRUNCH TIME PEOPLE. MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT.<br />
<br />
4:59AM: Two semi trucks, two smaller trucks, and an RV sighted in the hotels by Target. <br />
<br />
10:43 AM: I am posting from the future, many miles away. The flunk is strong and so are the mimosas. WAKE UP MOTHER FLUNKERS<br />
<br />
5:47AM: A large ass group of people are in the hamblin parking lot...FLUNK?!?! I JUST HEARD SOMEONE ON A FUCKING MEGAPHONE!!! <---- CONFIRMED from the culinary house <-- A scare was planned by seniors, but nevertheless this could be huge.<---- It sounds too beautiful to be fake!!! <333<br />
<br />
6:00 AM: No email, No flunk <-- The e-mail isn't sent out exactly at 6. Has anyone called Campus Safety? <-- not at the mud pit. my dreams are dead<br />
<br />
Good Things come to those who wait. And it looks like we're waitin a little while longer. $#!+ (or SHIT) <--- Confirmed hashtag#<br />
<br />
6:13 AM: Well...back to writing my paper....)))):<br />
<br />
6:22 AM: The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.<br />
<br />
7:26 AM: At least my professor cancelled class just now. The Flunk Gods are smirking, but not crossing their arms.<br />
<br />
10:00 AM: Cindy Wickliff sends mysterious email about aliens and a Plant Flunk telling students to stay on high alert. Is the flunk finally on its way??<----I saw a cop car pull over someone near Seymour last night around 2:30am. Could the "questionable light signals" in the email be referring to sirens? Did something go down last night?<br />
<br />
== April 30 ==<br />
<br />
This is the official Andy Civettini prediction. <---- Check the edit log. I am Andy Civettini. I'm currently grading and prepping for lectures and discussion tomorrow. I make no prediction. And if I did, I'd always predict that Flunk Day is tomorrow. It's just more fun that way. :)<br />
<br />
There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada? <----NOT ME<br />
<br />
This is [[Max Potthoff]]'s birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Custodial Staff is predicting a late April , Early May Flunk Day! April 30 has to be Flunk Day<---------------'''This Could Be Huge!!!!!!''' <-- Certain Caf workers also informed me that they got the Menu for Flunk Day in the second week in April. They said that usually the day happens only a week or two after they receive the menu- placing it around the 4th week in April or April 30th.<br />
If its April 30th, its gonna make cinco de mayo the shit that sunday.<br />
<br />
Also who's got ideas about the flunk day stash?<br />
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Bottles_of_Canadian_Club_Whisky.JPG <- sorry freshman, THERE IS NO GENERAL "FLUNK DAY STASH", you need to get your OWN stash, there isn't one giant one you get to choose from. nice try though. now go home you're drunk (or obviously not)<br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] thinks that today might be flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day. <- this means absolutely nothing. its a lot of peoples' fourth flunk day<<-- you know absolutely nothing, Rup knows all. <- Rup knows nothing. <br />
<br />
This is the day I want it to be flunk day. Therefore, it will be flunk day. <-- logical fallacy of self importance <- logical fallacy of showing your own importance by telling others they think they are the important ones. post modern meltdown ensues <-- all of my whats<br />
<br />
9:23 pm (4/28) Kelton Williams just sent out a back up plan for his class and our test tomorrow just in case it's flunk day!! Professors are starting to get excited too!<br />
<br />
10:00 AM: Cindy Wickliff sends mysterious email about aliens and a Plant Flunk telling students to stay on high alert. Is the flunk finally on its way??<----I saw a cop car pull over someone near Seymour last night around 2:30am. Could the "questionable light signals" in the email be referring to sirens? Did something go down last night? <<--When Bethany was asked about it she said she didn't know it was being sent today... <- there was a drug bust in Hamblin<br />
<br />
12:03 PM Craig Southern seen with a giant garbage bag containing the Flunk Day TKS, Flunk is near!<br />
<br />
12:32PM too many e-mails from staff members about flunk day procedures. Flunk day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
1:50 pm White truck labeled "Independent Courier" pulled into the library parking lot and parked, obstructing traffic.<-----too early in the day... what good would it do if everyone could see and ruin the surprise. No one is that dumb. <--- This was most likely the truck delivering today's I-Share books. They always get delivered around this time.<br />
<br />
Scott Sunderland, head athletic trainer and lead medical advisor for Flunkness has made multiple hints at this day being Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
3:36 pm: Greek Week events don't start until Thursday. They have always gone Monday-Friday the last 3 years. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
3:45 pm: John Wilkes Booth impersonator spotted at Steak 'n Shake. Photographic proof: Moderate Note: Image Link does not work. Do Not Repost<br />
<br />
3:50 pm: [[Liz Metz]] confirms that she has a meeting with Deb Southern today, and therefore it cannot be Flunk day. <--- These fake meetings mean absolutely nothing!!! Nothing I tell you!<br />
<br />
5:21 PM stage in front of old main is still there. if flunk day weren't tomorrow they would have taken it down. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED. (before people demand pictures, go see for yourself when you go to dinner. the stage is clearly there.)<br />
<br />
5:55 PM: Is that story about the first years in the Quads true? If so, can someone elaborate? <--- What happened? <--- Overdose of carob or figs, softest foods you'll ever find. <br />
<br />
This afternoon: Quickie posted special hours for this week/weekend... and Goldie always knows. <-- False, those are the new hours, they are not special in any way. Bars were put up because the quickie will now be closed for about 6 hours every day and they don't want anyone casing the joint while they're away.<br />
<br />
ROGER TAYLOR SPOTTED JUMPING OLD MAIN IN THE GENERAL LEE!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!! ALSO PRETTY RIGHTEOUS http://i.imgur.com/mWA8i90.jpg<br />
<br />
6:25 PM: Andrei Papancea was asked whether Flunk Day was tomorrow, and Andrei Papancea smiled. Make of this what you will.<br />
<br />
WHY IS THERE NO SUB CATEGORY FOR MAY 6TH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Take a look at the dearth of events on the day: [http://www.knox.edu/calendar/default.aspx]. SERIOUSLY NOT EVEN A CATEGORY FOR IT!?!?!?!?! Also, I have no clue how to make such a thing, can someone please do it.<br />
<br />
6:58 PM You're welcome world. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!! http://i.imgur.com/YyjQAb9.jpg<br />
<br />
6:59 BETHANY SPOTTED ON HER FLUNK DAY STEED!! http://i.imgur.com/LRl7iu5.jpg<br />
<br />
7:25 John Schlaf spotted in Dean Southern's office. Dean Southern looking stressed. Why are they still at work? Must be preparing for the big day.<br />
<br />
7:30 People buying ear plugs at C-store... Flunk Day tomorrow<br />
<br />
8:00 stop constantly refreshing this page and get your homework done. <------------NO!<br />
<br />
8:13 PM http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/32436876.jpg<br />
<br />
8:17 PM Both water taps left running in Post 9 bathroom--forgetful suitemates, or the ghost of Abraham Lincoln telling us to get our drink on for Flunk? <- WHAT IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/1/17/1358440099509/Daniel-Day-Lewis-008.jpg <----- UPDATE: ABE LINCOLN SEEN SLAYING FLUNK DAY NONBELIEVERS!!!!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!! http://www.sourgrapeswinery.com/storage/AbrahamLincolnVampireHunterBACKCOVER.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1333126123161<br />
<br />
8:40 PM Brooklyn Nets fans heard cheering Flunk Day while waiting for game to end versus the Bulls tonight.<br />
<br />
Alumni Vince Rug (Who was here doing a presentation about his very successful career in some class, he's not just creepishly on campus for flunk day or anything) and finance Katie Wrenn spotted sitting outside next to their kiddie pool this afternoon wearing bathing suits but doing work. Kiddie pool was filled with water. Why weren't they in the pool? Getting all the work done to play hard tomorrow?<br />
<br />
I'm not saying that I'm the flunk day planner, but no one has ever seen the flunk day planner and I in the same room together. Just saying.<br />
<br />
8:30 Craig Southern parked his car and then went into Post... stocking up on flunk day mixers from the c store? <-- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
9:06 Xavier spotted with his four-footer, THIS COULD BE HUGE <--- You mean Magneto? Or is that the good guy? <--- Oh god, the underclassmen have no idea about [[Xavier Romano]] and his four-foot [[bong]]<br />
<br />
9:08 Out of the sky came a ufo that just unleashed a horde of velociraptors with lincoln hats. FLUNK DAY'S TOMORROW!!!!<br />
<br />
9:28 Just overheard Andrei yell to others outside of Seymour, "I'm going to get my Flonk Day Stash because its Flonk day tomorrow, Happy Flonk Day!!!"<br />
<br />
== May 1 ==<br />
<br />
All content deleted from this post. proof that flunk day is Wednesday??? <- it was deleted because people were using the f-word on the internetz <-NOT THE "F" WORD!?!?!<br />
<br />
<br />
Enjoy! The copy and pasted earlier content:<br />
FUCK YOU <<< THIS COULD BE HUGE <<< ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! == Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! == (see schedules below)<br />
Melvin Taylor's birthday but it doesn't mean it's Flunk Day.<br />
Rup Sarkar predicts that today might be flunk day. Listen to the gospel of the Rup. <-- What day doesn't Rup think is flunk day, Jesus tap dancing christ<br />
Last weekend, upon being asked when Flunk Day will be, Goldie flipped his lottery calendar to May 1st and said "Probably then". They installed the bars on the quickie just in time.<br />
THIS JUST IN: Admissions Ambassadors Monthly Meeting moved to NEXT WEDNESDAY. I know they know nothing about the day, but my suspicions are quite high...<br />
It was May 1st last year... would they repeat the date? <---- we don't expect them to repeat the date, making this the perfect day!<br />
<br />
Monday, 3:01 pm: An informant tells me that caf workers have been informed not to bake ahead because Wednesday is FLUNK DAY. No names so they don't get in trouble.<br />
<br />
== May 2 ==<br />
<br />
So apparently [[Daniel Beers]] asked [[Anna Meier]] and [[Katie Miller]] to give a presentation in his class on May 2 but then mysteriously asked if they could do it on April 30 instead. Clearly, this was because of Flunk Day. <--- Probably because he moved his midterm to today. <--- Confirmed. He wanted the midterm moved to today.<br />
<br />
== May 6 ==<br />
<br />
There now its a thing <--- May 6th exists. Flunk day does not.<---Much appreciated.<br />
<br />
== May 7 ==<br />
<br />
There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time? <---- Click click pow click rabbit hands looking frantically around the room.<br />
<br />
[[File:Flunkkkkkkk.jpg]]<br />
<br />
FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW (AND MAY 7TH)<br />
<br />
I do not believe these emails. I do not believe them. I HOPE THE PERSON WHO MADE THEM DIES A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH.<-----Honestly this is pretty god damned impressive if you ask me. This could all be forged but this is one hell of an effort. (Humbled slow clapping)<---- ADMISSIONS never knows when the Flunk happens. <-- [[Alyssa Gill]] emailed [[Sarah Colangelo]] about these emails. This was her response: "FAKE. I would never provoke a discussion about local sports. It's nice work, though." In addition, [[Sam Auch]] looked up the student in question and she is a freshman at that high school. Fake fake fake. <---Props to Ms. Gill.<<<<QUEEN OF WIKIFIRE FLUNK<br />
<br />
SARAH COLANGELO LOVES FLUNK DAY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE <----- Sarah Colangelo is a huge Troll she knows better than to let anything slip even if she did know. <br />
<br />
THERE IS NO FLUNK DAY.<br />
<br />
(Logically, though, how would someone have gotten access to Scolange's email account?) <--- Well, while it might not be full access, you can generally access at least one of someones sent messages by first emailing them. After that, you might receive a sent message from them in your inbox regarding the message you sent. I know its only one message but its something. Sometimes you can respond to the message you received and get even more messages from them too!<br />
<br />
Prospies have been on campus before during Flunk day... doubtful that admissions knows the date.<-- Confirmed, admissions never knows the date.<br />
<br />
The flunk day committee, being considerate as they are, will wait until after next pay period before throwing down the flunk. At least I hope so! I'm not prepared!<br />
<br />
== May 8 ==<br />
<br />
Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day<br />
<br />
[[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]].<br />
<br />
== May 9 ==<br />
<br />
JPow thinks Flunk Day is May 9. Just sayin'. <--JPow predicted that this was the Flunk Date LAST YEAR. He will prove to be incorrect again!<br />
<br />
== May 13 ==<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category: Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=27136Flunk Day 20132013-04-30T02:08:08Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 30 */</p>
<hr />
<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
'''GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
FLUNK TRUMPS ALL OTHER SCHOOL-PLANNED EVENTS!!!'''''<br />
== Italic text ==<br />
''<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''December 19, 2012'''<br />
A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.<br />
<br />
'''March 4, 2013'''<br />
Roof falls off of Neal.<br />
<br />
'''March 5, 2013'''<br />
Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!<br />
<br />
'''March 15, 2013'''<br />
18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''March 27, 2013'''<br />
[[John Dooley]] says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.<br />
<br />
'''March 28, 2013'''<br />
Official [[Tim Kasser]] Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
8:04 p.m.: [[Kaitlyn Duling]] spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????<br />
<br />
'''March 29, 2013'''<br />
Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! [[Andrei Papancea]] might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member [[Arnold Salgado]] went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...<br />
<br />
'''April 20, 2013'''<br />
4:204:204:204:204:20LINCOLNFEST4:204:204:204:204:20<br />
The only day in recorded history Knox students were on time to anything.<br />
<br />
'''April 21, 2013'''<br />
IT'S DEFINITELY TOMORROW, RIGHT? Yeah. Totally.<br />
<br />
== Flunk Theme 2013 ==<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE.<br />
Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT. <br />
<br />
[[File:space_eel.jpg]]<br />
<br />
<br />
== Flunk Predictions ==<br />
<br />
Senior [[Anna Meier]] has a series on [[The Knox Student]]'s website to predict flunk day. You can follow that here: <br />
http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/<br />
<br />
Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/<br />
<br />
The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. <br />
"Things are moving fast on the Flunk front, which means the OSMFDP remains April 24." &mdash; Sam Martone (@s_martone) April 12, 2013 <---Incorrect once again. Sam Martone has never correctly predicted Flunk Day. He has never even been close. <--- Confirmed. Pretty sad.<br />
<br />
== April 1 ==<br />
<br />
At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
== April 3 == <br />
All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.<br />
<br />
10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8 ==<br />
<br />
First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.<br />
<br />
The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.<br />
<br />
Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.<br />
<br />
== April 9 ==<br />
Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.<br />
<br />
The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 11 ==<br />
T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS. <br />
<br />
Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans. <br />
<br />
== April 14 ==<br />
10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic. <br />
<br />
== April 15 ==<br />
<br />
Regina and Kaitlyn were seen buying their flunk day stashes this weekend, FLUNK DAY IS THIS WEEK!<br />
^that wasn't Kaitlyn's Flunk day stash- that was her weekend stash.<br />
<br />
First day selling Flunk Day shirts!<br />
<br />
5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:<br />
<br />
"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk<br />
Bring us this day our daily dunk<br />
of righteous catharsis<br />
and nightmarish rhymes<br />
so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."<br />
<br />
6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!<br />
<br />
6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.<br />
<br />
7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!<br />
<br />
7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.<br />
<br />
7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?<br />
<br />
8:12pm: SPIES<br />
<br />
8:27pm -- I JUST REALIZED THAT THE SIGN UPS FOR FLUNK DAY FRIARS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED AND SO THAT MEANS THEY NEEDED TO KNOW ASAP WHICH MEANS THAT FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT IS AS SOON AS IT CAN BE WITHOUT INTERFERING WITH EARTH WEEK AHHHHHH START DRINKING! <-- Dude they haven't even had a chance to sell t-shirts or send out the safety e-mail... <+++++ SO!? THEY CAN SEND IT OUT ON THE DAY OF! THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR!! NO JIL GATES, NO SYSTEME!! ... Calm yerself. --> Flunk day isn't for awhile; no friars, shit weather, its too close to midterms<br />
<br />
8:41p. [[File:crazysheep.jpg]]<br />
<br />
'''Flunk day is not today'''<br />
<br />
But we did read this in an email from Deb Southern: <br />
<br />
"The clock is ticking . . . let’s make sure that we work together to ensure that future generations of Knox students will have the opportunity to experience Flunk Day."<br />
<br />
SAFETY EMAIL SENT OUT. The season of Flunk is upon us. <br />
<br />
10:48 p.m: A mysteriously large vehicle drove past the quads twice, shining its luminescent headlights across the buildings. SUSPICIOUS!<br />
<br />
== April 16 ==<br />
'''Dear Conger/Neal, <br />
WHY IS THERE NO FUCKING MUD PIT YET?!?! Flunk day is just around the corner and there is no progress. Step it up quads! Plus, the fact that it might rain again will make the digging easier and more fun.''' <br />
<br />
The famous Art Department Field Trip to Chicago that was scheduled for April 16 was mysteriously canceled on account of too few people signing up... riiiight...<br />
<br />
ALL THE SENIORS ARE CHANGING THEIR PROFILE PICTURES TO PICTURES OF FLUNK. FLUNK IS OBVIOUSLY UPON US.<br />
<br />
3:30 p.m: The Axis Dance Company workshops that were supposed to take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have been cancelled! Obviously Flunk day is Thursday! I mean, how many emails did YOU receive about signing up for it, and now its suddenly canceled!<br />
<br />
11:35pm: Suspicious yelling outside the Yellows. Seniors know all. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 17 ==<br />
It's a Wednesday. Suspicious.<br />
<br />
Heavy rains are forecasted today; along with perfect conditions for Mud Pit Digging. GET ON IT CONGER/NEAL! ASSEMBLE THE SHOVELS!<br />
NEAL 1. MAKE THE FUCKING MUDPIT. I'm talking to you, Mickey, Jodi, Stephanie, Ella, Katie, Britney, Becky and Savannah. Oh And Angie, it would help if you would MOTIVATE your residents, to do THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
^^^ who the fuck is Savannah?! #unansweredquestions #theflunkisuponus<br />
<br />
THE MUD PIT DIGGING HAS COMMENCED! Flunk day screamers, start your engines!! <--- CONFIRMED!! The storm gods know its flunk season!<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 19 ==<br />
Flunk Day did - once - occur on a Friday. Tony Gant reported having extremely hungover, severely sunburnt students the following Monday. <br />
<br />
Could 2013 be the year of FridayFlunk?<br />
<br />
Weather forecast calls for snow. Flunking in the snow? Sounds worse than last year in the rain..<br />
<br />
It's an Admitted Students day so it can't be today.<br />
<br />
12:00 a.m: RUMORS OF MUDPIT DIGGING TONIGHT!<br />
<br />
http://thewikifire.org/images/thumb/2/2b/FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png/180px-FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
'''THIS MUST NEVER DIE'''<br />
Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox. The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care, In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of mud pits danced in their heads. And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash, Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew in a flash, Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds. When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say, I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day! More rapid than eagles, the friars they came, They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name! Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame! To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main! Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
== April 22 ==<br />
<br />
Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling gets a glimmer of fear in her eyes every time someone mentions Meatless Monday. <----SUSPICIOUS.<br />
<br />
Craig Southern spotted on campus several times this weekend.... making sure everything goes well for a Monday Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
Upper Classmen seen at Hyvee buying their Flunk Day stash!--->CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Good weather predicted. No athletic events. Seniors have made all necessary flunk day stash procurements.<br />
<br />
SPOTTED: Regina and Craig Southern at the Landmark. Making final preparations undoubtedly. ---> WHAT TIME?!-> 8:30!<br />
<br />
One of my senior housemates just disappeared and can't be reached. This is unusual. Friar?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't a meatless Flunk Day be SO KNOX? Is there even meat in space? <--- Only freeze dried. If they want it to truly be Space Flunk, there will be no meat. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
8:31pm: Craig Southern spotted in Gizmo, paused in line, and exited. Last minute Flunk Day planning?<br />
<br />
10:17pm >>>>Confirmed reports cite seeing Craig Southern on the telephone in his office around 10:00pm. >>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <<<NOPE! Interviewing campus life position<br />
<br />
10:17pm: BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKK SQQQQQQQUUUUUAAAAAADDDDDDD<br />
<br />
<br />
10:20 Who has tabs on Regina and Kaitlyn? COULD FLUNK DAY BE TOMORROW?!<br />
<br />
10:29 Lights on in the mailroom! Someone keep watch!<br />
<br />
Matthew Becker, one of last years friars, was on campus this weekend. Supposed to be leaving Monday. Why not Sunday? Something's Flunky!<br />
<br />
Three students in Tompkins were just informed by Kathleen Drake that tomorrow is el Dia de Flunk! Should we start drinking now??<br />
<br />
10:45 Kaitlyn's cover photo has turned to Flunk.<br />
<br />
10:57PM: Andrei Papancea looks unusually chipper doing his homework tonight... Sign of Flunk Day in the air?<br />
<br />
11:03 Three Seniors seen with booze and air horns. Are they Friars? >>>>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:12 Strange animal noises coming from Tompkins. Tomorrow is Flunk <<<<< CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
11:14 Senate president Mike Gasparro changed his profile pic to FLUNKING with Senior class president Justin Steele in it!!! Coincidence? I think not!!!! he has to know <<- THIS COULD BE HUGE!! >>>>>CONFIRMED<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:20 Bethany Marinier leaves the townhouses suspiciously, refuses to answer questions as to where she's going <<< Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:24 Jil Gates, former Master of Fun and Flunk Goddess changed her cover photo to a picture from Flunk Day 2011. She definitely knows that tomorrow's the Flunk.<--- SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE! <--- You think the planners wouldn't invite her to Flunk with us?!!?!? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
11:27pm There are barely any people in the library.....the flunk is all around us. <<<-CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
It has be said that the flunk shipment arrived friday, they can't it for too long. Flunk day is tomorrow. <---- Shipment could also have been for the Lincolnfest picnic. The caf gets shipments every single day. Doesn't mean anything.<br />
<br />
The old flunk day twitter is in denial. Why so eager to say there's no flunk? Suspicious. <<<- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
No one thinks it's Flunk Day tomorrow.....ergo, Flunk Day is tomorrow! <------ CONFIRMED <----------- Flunk while no one is looking, stay vigilant Knox<br />
<br />
11:30 pm Bethany Mariner and Andrei Papancea are spotted hurrying into the Gizmo. Flunk is afoot...<br />
<br />
11:45 I see a new Flunk Day Song. Found from a status on Facebook: <br />
I believe I can flunk. <br />
I believe I can flunk this year! <br />
I think about it every night and day. <br />
Pour a drink and flunk away! <br />
I believe I can flunk!!!! <br />
I see me running through Old Main's lawn. <br />
I believe I can flunk :-)<br />
<br />
11:57pm: Matt J has a court date at 10:30 on April 22nd, it's totally Flunk Day. <-- I don't know if this is CONFIRMED but either way THIS IS HUGE. <--- CONFIRMED, I got pulled over with him in Peoria, they thought we were running drugs back to Galesburg, but in reality we had gone to Culver's and cashed his paycheck. <br />
<br />
11:59p.m: Regina Rosenbrock spotted sealing her eyes shut with neon puffy paint. Flunk? <-- Why would you seal your eyes with puffy paint if the greatest day of the year is coming up? Should be lining them and making them stay open! For all the Flunking!<br />
<br />
12:03am: Renowned former Knox attendee, [[Alicia Niles]] seriously considers buying a 7am train ticket as Flunksurance, THIS COULD BE HUGE <-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUFT35S7Jb4<br />
<br />
12:31 AM: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS <--- When the Dark Lords of Flunk evoke the ghost of Lincoln, times are desperate.<-- You guys keep this up, and Lincoln's ghost will come down and destroy Flunk Day. Don't provoke the 16th President. <-- "If you're a racist I will attack you with the North." - Abraham Lincoln - Michael Scott<br />
<br />
1:56 AM: Kaity HutchCroft posted a picture of people digging the mudpit on Instagram!!!! Possibilities of flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 23 ==<br />
4:32 PM: Andrei has purchased an air horn. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
5:47 PM: .......it begins.......<br />
<br />
6:30 PM: Andrei Papancea spotted at Walmart looking at what seems to be a large, glass vessel... This could be huge.<br />
[[File:vessel.png]]<br />
<br />
10:26 PM: Nice little four hour break for a pre Flunk Day posting session. Way to go WikiFire. <-- I don't know whether to be suspicious or disappointed.<br />
<br />
11:30 PM: Flunk day must be tomorrow because it is the only day I have classes. Also, Andrei was not at chapter the other day. He was probably out coordinating things last minute...<br />
<br />
Alumni friend messaged and said she heard it was this day....<br />
<br />
12:03 AM: I'M ALDUS SNOW. BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT. <-------CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
Suspicious Facebook event for Alumni Flunk Day today and Wednesday? Hmm... <------- Those are never relevant to the actual flunk day, get with it!<br />
<br />
1:06 AM: LOUD NOISES HEARD NEAR THE SOCCER FIELD. PROBABLY SOME FORM OF TRAIN. <----- Thank you. For real. This brought a smile to face that needed it. Flunk on, my friends, flunk until the Earth stops spinning.<br />
<br />
1:48 AM: Goldie said he didn't see any unusual people buying unusually large quantities of alcohol. He thinks it's too early for Flunk Day. But the Soviets thought it was too early to put a person on the moon in '69 and we gave the doubters some permanent footprints and a perpetually mid-wave flag on the lunar surface. SPACE FLUNK. <---- No one buys Flunk Day stashes from the Quickie!<br />
<br />
== April 24 ==<br />
<br />
Kathy in the caf said that she hasn't started preparing the Flunk Day baked goods yet, and she usually starts a few days before Flunk. Her guess is that Flunk Day will be sometime next week.<br />
<br />
Josh Hosmer-Quint asked Kaitlin Duling if Flunk Day is gonna be this upcoming Wednesday. She winked at him. <br />
Seems legit. <--- NOT LEGIT. NOT CONFIRMED. Just because she winked at him DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GONNA BE FLUNK DAY. <--- Yeah! Kaitlyn Duling winks at everybody. REAL NICE PREDICTION YOU HAVE THERE. <--- I so agree with you. I wish people would stop posting jokes on the WikiFire. I actually want to know when Flunk Day is going to be. <--- Confirmed. Some people are serious students and actually need to know for their planning. <--- I KNOWWWW. <--- Yeah, people seriously need to stop trolling. <---but the WikiFire is troll central. It's part of the fun. DO YOU EVEN GO HERE <--- Look, referencing The Breakfast Club doesn't make you look smarter. Editing The Wiki Fire doesn't make you more clever. And trolling me definitely isn't gonna stop me from beating you. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. <--- Well that escalated quickly. <--- not really... <--- Ain't nobody got time this. <--- People don't even bother proofreading thier comments. < haha what about your comment that's ironic <--- CONFIRMED LOLOLOL <--- I just wish people would treat each other respect. <--- Yeah, and taking the WikiFire and especially the Flunk Day page seriously instead of just making jokes on it. <--- THANK YOU. <br />
<br />
^^^FOR THE SAKE OF THE ABOVE, LET IT BE FLUNK ON THIS DAY. Have you people lost the spirit entirely? Or are you first years who know no better? Flunk Day is not about planning. Flunk Day is not about being a serious student. Why else would they put FLUNK in the title? FLUNK your planners, FLUNK your regular lives, FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK. THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED. <--- can we all stop replacing "fuck" for "flunk?" it makes us all sound like Christian Bible Camp team leaders or something. Would you actually say "Flunk you" out loud trying to be funny? my guess is no... <---"flunk you" in response to this. <-- SERIOUSLY? Who are you people? FLUNK DAY IS THE GREATEST OF DAYS. Stop the negativity and FLUNK<br />
<br />
<br />
'''<br />
Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(see schedules below)''' Its not gonna be flunk day. 1) its midterms 2) the food isn't here 3) in April 29th.<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main<br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, CFA & The Box <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
1:00 PM Baseball - Robert Morris - Springfield (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Softball - Eureka College (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Men's Tennis - Coe College Galesburg, IL <br><br />
4:00 PM Earth Month Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br><br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br><br />
6:00 PM Bike Repair Basics Knox Bike Shop <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br><br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
BUT ACTUALLY: 5am-midnight= FLUNK DAY. Meetings don't matter, clubs don't matter, sports don't matter (in 2010 the golf team got their phones taken away and were informed it was Flunk Day during an away tournament). DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP. No one is better at trolling than the Flunk Day planners. <--Confirmed<br />
<br />
`What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever?' persisted the King.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: `Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.<br />
<br />
`Unimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word sounded best.<br />
<br />
<br />
April 23rd- Kaitlyn looks outside worried and says she hopes it stops raining. ....maybe because she wants perfect weather for Flunk Day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
Driving on the interstate and spotted a replica NASA shuttle launch pad ride thing. This is clearly space themed thus flunk day related. Will check Holiday Inn parking lot and update later if more info. <---- off 74? Where? THIS COULD BE HUGE I WILL PERSONALLY CHECK ON THIS IF I CAN GET MORE INFO THANKS!<br />
<br />
Velociraptors seen running around wearing space helmets with Flunk written on them. Flunk day is tomorrow!!! <-- CONFIRMED <-- Jesus we're back on this shit about Velociraptors? Shit was funny two years ago. <--well someone's clearly lost the Flunk spirit, but no matter [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UVtlb8EJEkU/TuutKN1jp_I/AAAAAAAAA00/gRK1475go6c/s1600/OBrienDino.jpg]<-- Obviously the Velociraptor sightings are bullshit since they died out with the Final Flunk. What you actually saw were Miniature Giant Space Chickens from the planet Acheron. THE FLUNK IS ON!<-- its not quite that easy to kill a velociraptor<--Of course, you must be velociraptor to know that and survived by learning how to use technology.<br />
<br />
7:43pm overheard caf workers complaining about late night food prep for tomorrow's "big event" <-- THIS!!<br />
<br />
I haven't bought my stash yet! SOMEONE TAKE ME TO DISCOUNT I'M SCARED!!<br />
<br />
Senior John Cusimano spotted drunk already?! This could be huge!!-->Confirmed->> DOUBLE CONFIRMED LET'S ALL DRINK <-- John said his 'source' told him today will be Flunk Day <-its because he went out with liz woodyard and alums<br />
<br />
9:33 pm Jmaw Moses, president elect of the Knox College Choir, and leader extraordinaire in Sigma Chi told me that one of his brothers instrumental in planning Flunk Day said tomorrow is the best possibility.<br />
<br />
9:45 PM - The Quickie doors are locked. THIS COULD BE HUGE (or not, some things are just normal-sized)<== Goldie has to go to the bathroom like the rest of us. No panic necessary.<br />
9:50 PM - The Quickie reopened after a very short time (4 minutes 24 seconds, maybe?). Goldie says there's a sale on fifths of Jose Cuervo, and told me "it could be tomorrow," and "tomorrow is the best day" when I checked out.<br />
9:56pm: HyVee Wine and Spirits workers report a large influx of Knox students tonight. COULD IT BE?? <== CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
10:00PM- Schedule says Men's Tennis is playing Coe College; Coe's schedule says they are playing Wartburg.. Wartburg says they are playing Coe at home. HMMMMM?!<br />
<br />
10:04 PM- Seniors seen whispering in hallway in Hamblin. Do friars know who they are yet? Will they not know until Flunk Day? CAN ANYONE CONFIRM OR DENY THESE CLAIMS? <--- They told us we won't know til the morning of.<br />
<br />
10:07 PM Craig Southern seen dashing out of Campus Life office, papers in hand. Making way to Old Main in a hurry. <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<br />
<br />
Has anyone checked the mailroom recently?? They may slip up like they did a couple years ago! <<<---- There's glass doors this year, someone should stake out and wait...<br />
<br />
10:22 CONFRIMED!!! John Cusimano, Liz Woodyard and Alums (mysteriously visiting) running through the halls of hamblin clearly DRUNK WITH FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ON!!!! it's flunk day motherflunkers!!!! <-Chis Johnson visiting isn't mysterious <- yes it is <- no it isn't<br />
<br />
10:23 Ghost of Flunk Day Past to tell you it is FLUNK DAY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE <---CONFIRMED!!! I'm glad someone else remembers this!<br />
<br />
10:23 PM- Walter Palmer reports that tennis is still playing Coe at home because Coe is splitting their squad. In a related story, he also tells his incredibly loud neighbor to "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!"---> if the match was scheduled after they picked the Flunk day date, then it will be cancelled. THe FLunk stops for nothing!<br />
<br />
Walmart is out of Flunk jugs! The seniors know somethinggggggg! Also, now I have nothing to flunk out of... <--- Walmart ran out weeks ago. You must be a first year...<br />
<br />
10:31 FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!! faculty just got an e-mail<br />
<br />
10:41 PM: Goldie predicts that it will rain beer tomorrow! THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
'''LIL B SAYS IT'S FLUNK DAY BITCHESSSSSSSS'''<br />
[[File:<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5FYXbXu45AQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>]]<br />
<br />
Spotted: Potential friars at Duffy's. Regina Rosenbrock--known Flunk Day planner--declined the offer...she vaguely speaks of having "things to do..." Suspicious?<br />
<br />
UPDATE: REGINA JUST LEFT HER APARTMENT. I REPEAT, REGINA HAS LEFT. HER. APARTMENT. WHERE IS SHE GOING? <== AND KAITLYN ISN'T IN HER APARTMENT EITHER!<br />
<br />
Has anyone else realized all the dates are off right now? Today's the 23rd...<-- DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORKS <-- Confirmed <---FRESHMEN!!! haha you write things on the date you think it is going to be. <--- Incorrect. Look at past years. You write on the day that it IS, like a timeline...<<<<YOU DO FUCKING BOTH.....<=yeah, if you have info for a specific day you post there, or if you're logging events that took place today you do it here.<br />
<br />
10:53: Bethany Mariner re-sends flunk day work reschedules to Union Board workers!!<--CONFIRMED <--Has anyone seen her!?<br />
<br />
10:58pm:Senior Abe Eastman and friend of Regina seen leaving Post<br />
<br />
THE Matt Gordon SAYS tomorrow is FLUNK DAY. THIS IS HUGE<br />
<br />
THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. I REPEAT, THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. START DRINKING NOW <--- CONFIRMED!! <--- Pictures required for us plebeians that aren't RA's <--- take a screenshot! then TAKE A SHOT! <-- The RAs don't get previous knowledge of Flunk Day. Source: I'm an RA <--maybe they just don't like you and you're a bad ra? <-- Maybe we don't get to know because we're like every other student and want to have the blissful surprise of the Flunk Day fairies dancing in our dreams! <-- Why am I not in this secret society of RA's, I'm cool guys. <-- We're RAs. Probably meaning we're not "that" terribly cool.<br />
<br />
STUDENTS ABROAD GOT THE EMAIL. <- CONFIRMED I wish I was on campus. Have fun everyone! <---------- forrealdoe?<br />
<br />
Sources (the flunk day advisor) have confirmed that she had to go to a meeting for flunk day planning and flunk day is NOT the 24th!<--obviously a trick. Why would the flunk day advisor tell any student when Flunk day is?? <-- Jil Gates is gone! LIES! <-- There is NO LYING ON THE WIKIFIRE!<----CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
11:11 MAKE A WISH IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW<br />
<br />
Saw Regina walking in UB OFFICE!<-- CONFIRMED! I saw her too! Has anyone seen the other 3??<br />
<br />
11:25- Helmet seen carrying crates full of hot dog and hamburger buns through the loading dock of the caf <<<< CONFIRMED <<<<<<<< THIS IS HUGE<<<<<<PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN ... wait i totally saw hime when he stopped at the intersection of south and west to let me cross. AAHHHHHAHHAHAHAIfhsoH+OIHSFHSDF!!! its really flunk day! <--- Helmut has a tiny car, I remain unconvinced. <br />
<br />
11:47 Just saw a bouncy castle in a pick up truck in Walmart parking lot! <---Pics or it didn't happen. <--- Pretty sure it didn't happen. It's 1 AM exactly and I just returned from Walmart. There was one suspicious semi, unmarked. No apparent bouncy materials though.<br />
<br />
11:55 Regina and Bethany have both liked a Knox Compliments status within the last 15 minutes. They are on Facebook. <---Holy shit, I'M ON FACEBOOK TOO, FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
11:57 seniors spotted at the mud pit <br />
<br />
11:59 NASA has received dozens of reports of UFOs traveling over the Galesburg area, put on your space hats and start drinking!<---You're not funny. Please leave.<--Feel the Flunk. <br />
<br />
12:00 AM [http://imgur.com/gallery/z7Vmd] Flunk Day kittehs confirm... its time to get drunk!<br />
<br />
Deleting my comments about the RA email? Flunk Day for sure tomorrow. Good game, everyone.<--gg wp <--- somebody also deleted my comment about [[bong]]s and [[beer]]. FLUNK FASCISTS <-- Bongs having its own page makes me happy. Much like bongs.<br />
<br />
12:20 AM WHERE ARE THE PLANNERS!? AND HAS ANYONE CHECKED THE MAIL ROOM??<=Regina is still MIA from her room, Bethany seen entering longden/Griffith, known residence of Amelia, BFFL and secret flunk day planner <False, Bethany is in her room hyped up on coffee.<--THIS COULD BE HUGE, planning for a late night?<br />
<br />
12:24 AM It warms my heart to see the wikifire so tightly packed with enthusiasm, I can't stress this enough. <---CONFIRMED. ME TOO. Feeling the Flunk. <--- If all of these comments were in a bucket and someone tried to pull just one of them out, many comments would end up popping out because of how TIGHTLY PACKED they are...and I can't stress this enough.<=== as tightly packed at Freshmen in the foam pit! <br />
<br />
STOP THINKING IT IS FLUNK DAY! BASEBALL AND SOFTBALL HAVE GAMES! THEY WOULD NOT PUT IT ON A DAY WITH TWO SPORTING EVENTS! <--- Flunk is a [http://feel.livelyblog.com/files/2012/08/battlefeel.jpg battlefeel]<br />
<br />
Tennis also has a match scheduled, just forget it. <----- '''Athletic events have suffered in the past. The FLUNK will stop for nothing!!'''<br />
<br />
CNN reports that Flunk Day is NOT tomorrow, so it is probably tomorrow<br />
<br />
Keep the faith Flunk Day trumps all!!<br />
<br />
CAN WE BE FORREAL FOR A SECOND I AM VERY NOT PREPARED FOR FLUNK I AM SORRY AND ASHAMED<br />
<br />
12:45 AM CLEVERBOT SAYS IT'S FLUNK DAY, THEREFORE IT IS SO!<br />
<br />
12:46 AM Andrei spotted doing nothing all that interesting. THROWING US OFF THE TRAIL OF FLUNK?????<br />
<br />
12:52 AM Could someone help me with my CS homework?<br />
<br />
12:54 AM Official Sam Martone Flunk Day prediction CONFIRMED!! <== Andrei confirms via facebook!<br />
<br />
12:57 AM Campus Safety Officer in Rodge Lodge said he is excited for Flunk Day but he knows it is not tomorrow. Conclusion: Flunk Day is not tomorrow. <-- [http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3u2k91/] <=Campus Safety does not know the date of Flunk day <= CONFIRMED <- campus safety does not know when flunk day is, but it is suspicious<------very much NOT CONFIRMED, CSOs do know the date, as well as GPD, etc.<br />
<br />
4:47 AM Caf lights are on; two campus safety officers were seen with a caf worker. Do they come this early to prep breakfast? Is this the flunk?<br />
<br />
It was a scare. Go to bed. Do your cs homework.<br />
<br />
== April 25 ==<br />
<br />
This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?<br />
<br />
It cannot be today as the Thursday before the concert is the Symphony move day and Pearl (da boss) has already submitted it to the school as a conflict date. Source: I work for her. <<<What even is this and also who cares<br />
<br />
5:24 Still need help with CS<br />
<br />
1:08 JPow sent out an email to Econ 110 saying there would be no class tomorrow (4/25) "in celebration of your fine (I hope) performance on today's (4/24) exam." But it's not in celebration of our exams... IT'S IN CELEBRATION OF FLUNK!!!<br />
<br />
7:17 REGINA SPOTTED WITH SEMI FLUNK DAY IS NIGH!!! [[http://i.imgur.com/blCFmcl.jpg]]<br />
<br />
10:27 Black Sabbath and Justin Bieber play back to back on WVKC. Tomorrow's Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
I cannot be denied that April 25th is the best date. [[http://cdn.crushable.com/files/2011/04/misscongenialityapril25-490x532.png]] <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Late report, but still potentially significant: Kaitlyn seen frantically texting and/or checking things on her phone before 5th period outside the Alumni Room.<br />
<br />
Regina changed her profile picture to Flunking Festivities. Flunk Day is tomorrow<br />
<br />
12:37 AM David Gentry spotted in his own flunking room doing homeworks by his apartment mate. flunk day confirmed.<br />
<br />
== April 26 ==<br />
<br />
Official Tim Kasser prediction.<br />
<br />
Admitted students day- Flunk will not be today. Unlikely to be day before because campus will be messed up for the prospies. <--- False. Admitted Students Day is this Friday (the 19th). CHECK YO EVENTS CALENDAR. <---CONFIRMED. April 26 is NOT an Admitted Students day. There are no more of them!<br />
<br />
Run-A-Thon- Flunk will not be today.<br />
<br />
Plus, Knox is making a big deal of the Earth Month activities for that weekend and they likely don't want the campus all messed up for that. <---Campus has been flunked up for bigger activities. If this day is not Flunk, it will more likely be because it is a Friday.<br />
<br />
The State Superintendent of Education is visiting campus today. Not a chance of Flunk. <---Confirmed. The Ed department told all the majors to look presentable in class.<br />
<br />
9:18PM its supposed to be 62 degrees and nice tomorrow. flunk day?? <br />
<br />
9:22 PM no one thinks its flunk day. flunk day confirmed?<br />
<br />
What ever happened to no Friday Flunk? Is that not a real argument anymore? <-- possible that the new President doesn't know the No Friday rule + No master of fun this year. Flunk Day planners may have been able to get away with it for once.<br />
<br />
Awesome people spotted getting flunk day outfits from the Salvation Army. Flunk is near!<br />
<br />
10PM Helmut just now seen leaving the caf!! A little late?<br />
<br />
== April 29 ==<br />
<br />
The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.<br />
<br />
Word is the Baseball Gods and the Flunk Day Gods have been working in cahoots this year. After a long trip to and from Wisconsin on this weekend the combo of Gods have decided that this is the only viable option for Flunk Day. The scripture is written and so it shall be.<--Except for the fact a doubleheader vs. Loras was rescheduled to this day. Not gonna happen.<---AHA but there be hope yet. Loras still lists the Knox doubleheader as cancelled and has no games listed for the 29th. Eisele is trying to trick us but we shall not let him!<---The game has been removed from the events calendar & the baseball schedule. <---According to an email from the Loras Head Coach, the games were never scheduled to be made up due to their conference scheduling. Suspicious...<---Flunk Day is Monday, that is of course unless Coach I desires to play Spoon River again.<br />
<br />
There is a professor from California giving a lecture today.<----Flunk Day is more important than California.<br />
<br />
THIS IS THE LAST DAY THAT FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ARE ON SALE. SUSPICIOUS? FLUNKSPICIOUS?<br />
<br />
In class when asked about picking a date for a movie both Regina and Bethany were both suspiciously busy on this day. When asked why they became shifty and said because of union board. When confronted further they became nervous <-- They are masters of deceit. Also, when the fuck are we gonna hear about who the friars are? Cause I'm tryna get shit balls drunk on chocolate milk.<---Last year's friars did not find out until the morning of Flunk Day & they were asked to sign up. <br />
<br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] says that today is NOT flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<-- Its also like 300 other peoples 4th flunk day. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
THE ALMOND BROTHERS SPOTTED ON CAMPUS FLUNK DAY IS TODAY!! [http://i.imgur.com/ihqYTLQ.jpg]<br />
<br />
Let the Monday hype begin.<br />
<br />
I hope everyone has his or her stash! I hope everyone has his or her Flunk Day outfit planned. BECAUSE FLUNK DAY IS ON MONDAY. MONDAY FLUNK DAY. MONDAY FLUNK DAY. MONDAY FLUNK DAYYYYY!!!!<br />
<br />
I asked [[Bethany Mariner]] today if Monday is Flunk Day. She refused to answer the question and immediately walked away. <--She does that for any question about flunk day.<br />
<br />
<br />
Reasons Flunk Day is tomorrow:<br />
1) The screen from earthday is still out there <--------They don't do weekend pick ups. don't get your hopes up<br />
<br />
2) the tent from Cats and Lasers is still there<br />
<br />
3) The stage is still there<br />
<br />
4) its after Midterms, so there are no academic problems <-LIES. I have 3 midterms this week (monday/tuesday/wednesday), I still hope flunk day is Monday though. <br />
<br />
5) The Miami Heat swept the Bucks<br />
<br />
6) [[Abe Eastman]] thinks its flunk day<br />
<br />
7) There have been '''2''' food deliveries in the past week <---- THIS MEANS NOTHING. There is a food delivery EVERY DAY. <br />
<br />
8) the speaker can easily speak the next day (and she's talking about ancient Christian texts, and the professor responsible for bringing her is the Latin professor, and ancient christian texts should be in Aramaic. <-- She is actually talking about why ancient LATIN texts were kept in circulation in the Christian academy despite their obscene nature. Also, ancient Christian texts aren't just in Aramaic-- the entire New Testament was in Ancient Greek. Ugh.<--Latin Vulgate, Greek Septuagint, Fail.<--Agreed Point is Thoroughly wrong. Not to mention classical style of composition and narrative (Paul's letters)and references to the classical tradition through out.Oxford does not publish a Greek Biblical Lexicon for nothing: http://www.amazon.com/Greek-English-Lexicon-Testament-Christian-Literature/dp/0226039331 .<br />
<br />
9) ??????????? <--- Get shitfaced<br />
<br />
10) Profit?????????<br />
<br />
Conclusion?<br />
Its time to get ya'll flunk on Mother Fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
I ran into Craig Southern at the Earth Day event yesterday and he says a Monday Flunk day this year is not likely. Or is it??<br />
<br />
1:00 - 2:00 pm: Andrei and Regina spotted carrying boxes out of the Campus Life office. They shadily avoided eye contact with nearby knox students.<br />
<br />
3:00 pm: The Shiva blessed Flunk Day at C2E2 today. This is happening boys and girls.<br />
<br />
(Moderator Note: File deleted due to size. If this photo is re-added, it will continually be deleted and the user will be blocked.) <br />
<br />
3:43 PM Why would Union Board make Flunk Day tomorrow after a huge Union Board event-filled weekend? that doesn't make sense. Flunk Day unlikely.<----- Less clean up days. Just clean it all up at once instead of cleaning this mess up and then Flunk day in a couple of days.<br />
<br />
every weekend is "a huge Union Board event-filled weekend." the flunk abides.<br />
<br />
4:46 PM Dogs heard barking. Perhaps they smell the flunk approaching?<----- DOGS ARE BARKING! This could be huge!<br />
<br />
76 degrees and sunny, the Flunk Gods decree that it be flunk. <<<silly first years, weather doesn't matter!<br />
<br />
7:32PM Staff e-mail says to prepare for an "unusually early and exciting" morning. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED! <-- Whoa whoa whoa. Can we get REAL confirmation on this?? <- yeah trying to take a screenshot but my computer is failing, I got the e-mail forwarded from a friendly caf worker, if i can get this to work i also need to block out their name (believe what you want, i don't want to get them in trouble so im blocking it out) <br />
<br />
7:35 PM Lane V Sunderland says its Flunk Day. Ergo it must be Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
8:04 Does anyone NOT have anything to do that can go sleuthing for clues around town? Can we get some pics of trailers, large trucks, or other mysterious clues that point to Flunk Day? WE NEED TO GET THIS BALL ROLLING. WE MUST FIND THE FLUNK, NOT LET THE FLUNK FIND US.<br />
<br />
<br />
8:09 Civettini seen drinking with staff at McGillacuddy's. mumbling about his statistical model. <---That is fairly normal. <---- CIVETTINI IS THE TROLLIEST PROFESSOR EVER!!!! Do not Believe his POLITICAL SCIENCE LIES!!!!! <---Andy lives every day like it's Flunk Day <---- I represent that remark. <---don't you mean resent? <---- Confirmed!!!!! First hand source!!!!<br />
<br />
8:12 Two alums who work together in Chicago seen on campus. I think the one is engaged to a girl that still goes here? But I saw on facebook that she's not even in town. Insider info?? <-false, this means absolutely nothing. there were alums on campus last week too and one got engaged to a girl thats still here, didn't mean anything about flunk day. Plus, what creepy alum would come back just for flunk day? Grow up already. <- I know about 5 that came back thinking it was flunk day last week, they aren't creepy, they just like excuses to drink with friends that are still here. go home freshmen, you're drunk. <-- freaks. get a job. <- two are self-employed (doing well) and the other three make over $75,000/year (and they just graduated in teh last 2 years), one makes over $100,000, before you judge you should consider whether or not you'll be 1/4 of that successful when you graduate. They were able to visit because they could afford to. YOU grow up. <br />
<br />
To the person that posted the gigantic picture. Really? I mean come on. <-seconded<br />
<br />
Bethany is ACTUALLY hanging out with bff Amelia. Obviously flunk tomorrow.<br />
<br />
8:50 PM - Do shipments of food mean anything? ANYWAY, people should be out and about near the hotels by Target to see if there are any trailers and other big trucks. That is the dead give away. If you're out there, TAKE PICTURES! Be safe, little Prairie Fires.<br />
<br />
9:03 PM Velociraptor spotted in Knoxville <-- We should be concerned with UFO's bro <- and HOW exactly do you think they got here? UFOs bro. Velociraptors in UFOs. Flunk day confirmed. <br />
<br />
9:06 PM I had a dream that Arthur Pascale was wearing a fez. It MUST be flunk day.<br />
<br />
Regina telling seniors they better get their stash if they haven't yet. <<<< PLEASE GOD LET THIS BE TRUE <-- she's screwing with you. Regina will never give any clues. <--confirmed! I WAS THERE. <--- Regina lies even when she tells the truth.<br />
<br />
Regina started drinking! <-- pics or it didn't happen Boom! CONFIRMED [[{{ns:image}}:EVIDENCE.jpg]]<br />
Regina gettin drunk at BDUBS!<<<<Timestamp?? Also, this picture was obviously taken during the day<br />
<br />
Joel Estes seen drinking at the bar at Buffalo Wild Wings<br />
<br />
There's no way its Flunk Day tomorrow... Debbie Southern set up a meeting with me tomorrow, she obviously wouldn't infer to do it on Monday if it was Flunk Day.<---Who are you and why are you evil? <<<<<<< Debbie likes to play mind games when it comes to Flunk Day. IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piVnArp9ZE0 <--- Truth. Debbie is known to mess with people when it comes to Flunk Day<br />
<br />
I had a meeting scheduled with Heather Poppy on Flunk Day last year. It didn't happen. Meetings don't matter. <---CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
9:26PM is anyone checking campus or the mail room? post pictures!<----go and do it yourself! Also just checked target, nothing there. Just the usual Walmart semis at Walmart. Nothing flunkspicios<br />
<br />
Vince Rug, class of 2012--works in Chicago, seen on campus. Vince allegedly was last year's Secret Flunk Day Planner, could he have insider information again this year?? <--- Vince is on campus more than most students are. <-- CONFIRMED regardless he knew last year so it would only make sense he'd know again this year. THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
Vince Rug and Ben Wetherbee, also class of 2012 and an Admissions Counselor at Knox, spotted at Fat Fish Pub. THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
9:51 p.m. Lights seen on in the Office of Communications!!!! <--- this means nothing, that office works all hours.<br />
<br />
9:54PM its not flunk day. study for your midterms. <--- What is wrong with you. <-just making sure people pass their damn midterms. worst case scenario people stay up thinking its flunk day when it obviously ISN'T then fail, just a friendly reminder to study because flunk day tomorrow isn't likely <br />
<br />
9:55PM [Lyana Sun Han] rolling around her suite in Post, she feels the Flunk in her bones! It's obviously tomorrow!<br />
<br />
Campus life has been calling suites around campus saying "to be well rested in case of any unexpected activities tomorrow", Flunk Day yes? <- if this is really happening, it's proof that it ISN'T flunk day tomorrow, they're obviously trolling. on the real flunk day eve they will be silent.<--WHATTTT this happened to us too!! IS IT FLUNK DAY OR WHAT?!!<---Why the fuck would we be silent if we knew it was flunk day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
10PM Helmut just now seen leaving the caf!! A little late?<br />
<br />
This is Civ's FB status right now<br />
<br />
'''Dance like nobody is watching. Drink like tomorrow's flunk day.'''<br />
<br />
its fucking flunk day<br />
<br />
It isn't flunk day. there is a scare planned for tomorrow morning though. don't listen to or feed the trolls. <-- 2009, a scare turned into flunk day. Last year the seniors planned scares and wanted jack to confirm. believe you asshole. '''BELIEVE''' <---CONFIRMED! 2011 also had a scare that turned into Flunk Day <--- This could be huge.<br />
<br />
10:10 p.m. Stephen Douglas impersonator spotted near Williston. THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
10:24 p.m. Nothing suspicious around hotels near Target. Only one large GNC semi in parking lot of Fairfield Inn.<br />
<br />
10:25 p.m. REGINA SPOTTED ENTERING THE UNION BOARD STORAGE ROOM IN SEYMOUR (IN THE HALLWAY BY THE MAILROOM STAIRCASE). SHE SMILED WHEN A STAFF MEMBER ASKED IF IT'S FLUNK DAY. <---- Confirmed!<br />
<br />
10:28 p.m. I pooped my pants. Soo...flunk day?<<--Depends, was it HUGE?<br />
<br />
I'd like to think that Regina and the other planners are smarter than to do those preparations in full sight if they were for The Day. Just saying<br />
<br />
SATURN IS SO CLOSE TO ME. FLUNK DAY MUST BE TOMORROW. <---CONFIRMED! What better time to have Space Flunk when one of the most iconic images of space is the closest to us as it can be? <br />
<br />
10:31 pm Kaitlyn spotted rushing direction Union Board office looking stressed. <---CONFIRMED! Talked to her, and she was very unwilling to respond to simple greetings <- lies shes sleeping in her room go to sleep. <---- Who sleeps at 10:30 on a Sunday night? <- normal people? go to bed. <---ABSOLUTELY NOT CONFIRMED by her roommate! She claims to be in the library but wasn't there either!!!!<br />
<br />
Two trailers spotted in the Holliday inn parking lot <-- Evidence? <- people are ALWAYS staying there, sometimes with trailers, tahts how hotels work.<br />
<br />
10:52pm campus safety spotted checking to make sure everything was locked up. not really unusual but maybe checking to ensure no one covered in mud/drunk can get into the buildings??<br />
<br />
10:53 PM Michelle Obama spotted preparing for flunk day!!<br />
[http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maf7mdFtq81r32taso1_500.gif<br />
]<br />
<br />
11:00 pm My phone will not connect to my computer so I can upload pictures of trailers in hotel parking lots. DEFINITELY Flunk Day. <- second one of these. clearly it isn't flunk day and people are trolling. <---Trolling? What does that mean?<br />
<br />
11:05pm Not flunk day as confirmed by caf workers (real ones not the student workers) <-- How did you get in contact with a caf worker at 11:00 PM? Also, most of them don't know for sure until they are called in early to work. <---Confirmed! <- not all of us are from far away, I'm friends with two of the caf workers who live in galesburg, they're real people I texted them earlier one just responded, that's how. its not like I magically hunted them down and cornered these people i didn't know who work in the caf and made them tell me whether or not it was flunk day. it isn't flunk day. confirmed. sorry to disappoint. <-- I am aware they are "real people," but that doesn't give them magical knowledge of Flunk Day. Usually they can only gauge within a few days of the Flunk Day because they can see the food supplies, but they don't know the day until they are called in! They could be giving you their best guess, though. Sorry to disappoint. <- it isn't flunk day because they know when flunk day is already (well one does, she's coming in early to help set up), i'm just not telling you when tehy said it was to avoid getting them in trouble. flunk day is NOT tomorrow, so if you have homework PLEASE DO IT!!! it is this week though! <---BOO, YOU STINK. DON'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK. IT'S CALLED FLUNK DAY FOR A REASON!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
Not Flunk Day. Seems like this campus needs one more good scare. If not two. Social media networks explodin' real good though. <----It's Flunk Day until proven otherwise by the lack of the email in the morning. <--Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:11 Loud music coming from Tompkins...seniors welcoming el dia de Flunk??<br />
<br />
Get in the spirit all of you negative nancy's out there. Instead of trying to find out when Flunk Day '''isn't''' help us find out when Flunk Day '''is''' <---- CONFIRMED <-- I have never encountered so many Flunk Day killjoys.<--confirmed, and you must have never experienced a flunk day to talk like that!<br />
<br />
11:30 My body is ready. <--- '''CONFIRMED''' <----DOUBLE CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
11:33 Flunk Day is not tomorrow. I also heard from a caf worker. it's wednesday, not tomorrow. i dont care about posting it unlike the other poeple becasue no one will know which caf worker anyway (assuming we heard from teh same one which i doubt) and even then its not a big deal. Flunk day is wednesday. go to sleep. <br />
<br />
Nope, in the last 3 years people keep saying the caf workers tell them. And every year they've been wrong<br />
KEEP THE FAITH YOU NONBELIEVERS <---- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
My mom is in town tomorrow. Karma will make it flunk day. Have faith.<br />
<br />
11:34 pm: The seniors in the corner of Tompkins are being rowdier than usual on a Sunday <== Yeah! Sundays are the only days those girls ever do any work! Something is up! <== CONFIRMED! They are chillin' right outside my door!<br />
<br />
11:37 pm: Alumni email has been sent out. Flunk if you got it. <===8 Sauce?<br />
<br />
Henry told me it was Flunk Day tomorrow. And I think he was sober when he told me so that means it has to be FLUNK DAY tomorrow!!!!!<br />
<br />
11:42 PM: HEY ALL YOU RUDE PEOPLE. IF YOU'RE HERE JUST TO BE MEAN, I HOPE YOU SLEEP THROUGH FLUNK DAY. YOU DON'T DESERVE THE FUN. I, FOR ONE, AM ALREADY DRINKING. I WILL BE READY FOR FLUNK TOMORROW. YOU WILL JUST BE SAD. SENIORS: WE NEED TO RALLY. THIS IS OUR LAST FLUNK DAY AND WE WILL NOT BE BROUGHT DOWN BY THESE DEBBY DOWNERS. '''<----CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!''' <br />
<br />
Gee almighty, 1. the caf workers DO NOT know the date 2. even if they do how do you know they're not messing with you<br />
<br />
11:48 p.m. Kaitlyn Duling spotted in the library, wearing glasses (she usually doesn't) and looking stressed. Is she trolling or is she studying???<br />
<br />
11:50 pm: Does anyone have any ideas what the main event will be for Flunk Day? I haven't heard so much as a peep about it. Last year we knew it'd be a musical guest star, but what about this year? Any insight?<br />
<br />
11:55 PM: Now Kaitlyn is in the gizmo!<br />
<br />
12:05 AM: Dushawn Darling spotted wearing a green cape and pink booty shorts. This could only mean one thing: '''FLUNK DAY IS UPON US!''' <----'''CONFIRMED!!!'''<br />
<br />
12:06 AM: My mind says no, but my body says yes. <<-- False. The gospel of R. Kelly tells the true quote; "My mind's telling me no...but my body, my body's telling me yeah." <br />
<br />
FLUNK DAY = ALL THE LOVE<br />
<br />
The Mud Pit is inadequate. Who will volunteer as tribute?!<br />
<br />
12:15 AM not flunk day, it's wednesday. too many confirmed caf worker sources to be trolling, plus they wouldn't troll they're actually my friends and know I honestly don't care if its tomorrow or not (hoping it was but its whatever). yes, they do actually know, they're staying late tuesday night to help get things together and a few are coming in early, people seem to forget that these people are hired help and they need to know their schedule ahead of time, they can't just get a random call at 3 am saying "lol go figure out a babysitter for your kid and come in immediately, its flunk day!". flunk day wednesday, so stock up! <---- That's exactly what they do to the Gizmo workers. They get a call that morning telling them they have to come in 5 hours before their shift would normally start. Most caf workers don't know the exact date. <-confirmed, my aunt is one of the caf workers, dont tell her I told you if people reading this know who I am/who she is! she made me promise not to say anything, but in case people have work, its definitely wednesday! <---[[http://trololololololololololo.com/]]<-right its not what people wanted to hear therefore i must be trolling. believe what you want im just trying to pass on ACTUAL information for once, everything on here is "omg there was a truck this one time at walmart!" or "i saw someone on union board doing their job!" or "theres a light on in this building!!". sorry for trying to help, your loss. additionally stock up because its freaking WEDNESDAY. <------------- http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/Atr8iFcc0qQ/mqdefault.jpg <------ Do you not understand what the wikifire is for? Where is your Flunk Day Spirit?!?!?! HAS ANYONE SEEN ABE LINCOLN? <---- getting butthurt at trolling and "fake" information? Do you even wikifire? MORE SPIRIT PEOPLE!! <------- I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. <--- she doesn't even go here! <-------- I just have a lot of feelings...<br />
<br />
12:21 AM: Andrei not doing his homework. Probably because HE KNOWS IT'S FLUNK DAY. Or maybe he just finished his homework already. Believe what you will.<br />
<br />
12:21 AM Report: Andrei walked out of campus life office, looking nervous.------<< Confirmed!!Shit is real. it's today!!! <-this is such bullshit, im sitting here nothing is going on or has been for the past 90 minutes at least <-- Lowercase writer, as someone going into his fourth Flunk Day, I want to say that you really don't understand the Flunk Day spirit. <---- confirmed.<br />
<br />
12:31 I'm calling BS on the made of story of the aunt guy. My grandmother ACTUALLY helps out around the caf and I live with her and she is currently not here... For those who know me and who I am talking about can confirm. She's been helping out this entire weekend for day of service and other events around Knox and they've requested her services this entire week...<br />
<br />
Knoxians. Please please pleeeease get in the spirit and try to love each other!! FLUNK DAY!! <----CONFIRMED! Love is really what Flunk Day is about<br />
<br />
12:48 TROLLATIVES<br />
<br />
12:45am: I have a car and I'm really bored. I'm going flunk-huntin'. What are some ideal places or hot spots for supposed trailers, 18wheelers and flunkmobiles to be? Let me know, I will go to as many as I can, and as always, pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
Not even an hour ago two of the Gentlemen of P-house were spotted at Wal-Mart picking up water supplies (I think maybe a slip and slide?). When confronted they pointed me towards the alcohol section and said, "Let the Flunk be the Guide." If that isn't a sign of Flunk, then I don't know what is!<--- I won't start drinking unless one of them was Justin Steele.<br />
<br />
'''The Rules of the Flunk''':<br><br />
1. Thou shalt forever proclaim "Tomorrow is Flunk Day" even when thou knowest it to be false<br><br />
2. Thou shalt encourage thy fellow flunkers in the excitement of the Flunk, not crusheth their dreams<br><br />
3. Thou shalt make silly and ridiculous proclamations such as "Trains were heard. Tomorrow is Flunk." on the WikiFire<br><br />
4. Thou shalt love the Flunk scares for they bring about the anticipation of the Flunk<br><br />
5. Thou shalt never give up hope for Flunk <br><br />
The breakage of any above rule results in the loss of Flunk Spirit by not only your own unfortunate soul, but by the entire campus. Be a jolly Flunker, friends. Be a jolly Flunker.<br><br><br />
<br />
THAT GUY/GAL GETS IT! The Flunk will save us all, even the non-believers!! May the Flunk be with you. <---And with you. <br><br><br />
<br />
It has been postulated that Flunk Day is but a yearly outbreak of campus-wide mass hysteria--that the Day will only Flunk when the Knox population as a whole veers sharply over the edge of sanity into the pit of madness below. Further, it has been postulated that any passerby unaffected by the Flunk Fever's influence would, upon viewing the campus from a distance, see not a jovial celebration but a savage, delirious ritual not unlike the Bacchanalia of old. <br><br />
Of course, any passerby brave or foolish enough to stare into the heart of that chaos will be inevitably drawn into it; Flunk is seductive and hypnotic and ravenous like the prairie fire its victims are named for. It rarely returns the victims it claims, and when it does they come out fundamentally changed, starved for next year's outbreak as though for air.<br><br />
The question, then, is this: what happens when the Fever does not break? What happens when a Day of Flunk no longer satisfies these poor, insane, once-human creatures? The commonly accepted theory is that the madness simply continues to swirl, gaining momentum as it spirals toward the event horizon until nothing can escape--not students, not light, not even time--compressing the campus into a point of zero mass and infinite Flunk. <br><br />
However, some fringe studies have suggested an expansion as the ultimate end. Instead of collapsing in, the fever seeps outward from the source like a toxic cloud, consuming everything in its path. <br><br />
The first option is grim to be sure, but the second poses a much deeper threat as there is no perceived end to this expansion. The fever will consume until the entire city and then the state and then the country and then, eventually, the world is trapped in an unending Flunk--in short, my friends and colleagues, this could truly be huge. <br><br><br />
<br />
<br />
1:15 AM: As of now, I have not seen any semis, flatbeds, trucks of any sort. I'm not truck expert, but I did not see shit out there. I just drove around Target and Walmart areas. Nothing out of the usual. But I'd say keep your eyes peeled around 4 or 5 AM when shit starts to emerge... It is possible that the school is having the Flunk Day equipment wait over in a nearby town such as Knoxville or Monmouth. Keep your Prairie Spirits. Love you all. <--- Like 8 semis parked in the old Econo Foods parking lot. You have to look in out of the ordinary places! <--- ''Donde estan las fotos yo?''<------Sorry, not to be a killjoy, but that happens every night. It's the one *legal* area in Galesburg for truck drivers to park for extended hours for free. Not saying there couldn't be flunk day trucks there...but there are usually at least 12-15 trucks there a night. <br />
<br />
1:22 AM: Just heard a deep maniacal laugh from outside my window. Is this a sign of the Flunk, or should I be scared? <--- Both<br />
<br />
1:28 AM: It smells REALLY FUCKING BAD OUTSIDE YO! WTF! LOL<br />
<br />
1:33 AM: The spirit is willing. I sense flunk on the horizon. I shall slaughter a goat in preparation and prayer.<---That escalated quickly<br />
<br />
1:54 AM: Kaitlyn and Regina seen hugging. <---THIS COULD BE HUG [http://anongallery.org/img/7/5/what-you-did-there-i-see-it-pelican.jpg] <------- Well played, both of you<br />
<br />
2:06AM- No KnoxPostSecret?!? Suspicious.<br />
<br />
2:43 AM Campus is suspiciously quiet...<br />
<br />
2:46 AM: A Prairie Farms milk truck just drove by the quickie, destination unknown.<br />
<br />
3:17 AM: A horse just rode by my window. Flunk Day or a hallucination sent by the flunk gods? You be the judge.<br />
<br />
4:30 AM: WHY ISN'T THIS PAGE ON FIRE RIGHT NOW THIS IS CRUNCH TIME PEOPLE. MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT.<br />
<br />
4:59AM: Two semi trucks, two smaller trucks, and an RV sighted in the hotels by Target. <br />
<br />
10:43 AM: I am posting from the future, many miles away. The flunk is strong and so are the mimosas. WAKE UP MOTHER FLUNKERS<br />
<br />
5:47AM: A large ass group of people are in the hamblin parking lot...FLUNK?!?! I JUST HEARD SOMEONE ON A FUCKING MEGAPHONE!!! <---- CONFIRMED from the culinary house <-- A scare was planned by seniors, but nevertheless this could be huge.<---- It sounds too beautiful to be fake!!! <333<br />
<br />
6:00 AM: No email, No flunk <-- The e-mail isn't sent out exactly at 6. Has anyone called Campus Safety? <-- not at the mud pit. my dreams are dead<br />
<br />
Good Things come to those who wait. And it looks like we're waitin a little while longer. $#!+ (or SHIT) <--- Confirmed hashtag#<br />
<br />
6:13 AM: Well...back to writing my paper....)))):<br />
<br />
6:22 AM: The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.<br />
<br />
7:26 AM: At least my professor cancelled class just now. The Flunk Gods are smirking, but not crossing their arms.<br />
<br />
10:00 AM: Cindy Wickliff sends mysterious email about aliens and a Plant Flunk telling students to stay on high alert. Is the flunk finally on its way??<----I saw a cop car pull over someone near Seymour last night around 2:30am. Could the "questionable light signals" in the email be referring to sirens? Did something go down last night?<br />
<br />
== April 30 ==<br />
<br />
This is the official Andy Civettini prediction. <---- Check the edit log. I am Andy Civettini. I'm currently grading and prepping for lectures and discussion tomorrow. I make no prediction. And if I did, I'd always predict that Flunk Day is tomorrow. It's just more fun that way. :)<br />
<br />
There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada? <----NOT ME<br />
<br />
This is [[Max Potthoff]]'s birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Custodial Staff is predicting a late April , Early May Flunk Day! April 30 has to be Flunk Day<---------------'''This Could Be Huge!!!!!!''' <-- Certain Caf workers also informed me that they got the Menu for Flunk Day in the second week in April. They said that usually the day happens only a week or two after they receive the menu- placing it around the 4th week in April or April 30th.<br />
If its April 30th, its gonna make cinco de mayo the shit that sunday.<br />
<br />
Also who's got ideas about the flunk day stash?<br />
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Bottles_of_Canadian_Club_Whisky.JPG <- sorry freshman, THERE IS NO GENERAL "FLUNK DAY STASH", you need to get your OWN stash, there isn't one giant one you get to choose from. nice try though. now go home you're drunk (or obviously not)<br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] thinks that today might be flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day. <- this means absolutely nothing. its a lot of peoples' fourth flunk day<<-- you know absolutely nothing, Rup knows all. <- Rup knows nothing. <br />
<br />
This is the day I want it to be flunk day. Therefore, it will be flunk day. <-- logical fallacy of self importance <- logical fallacy of showing your own importance by telling others they think they are the important ones. post modern meltdown ensues <-- all of my whats<br />
<br />
9:23 pm (4/28) Kelton Williams just sent out a back up plan for his class and our test tomorrow just in case it's flunk day!! Professors are starting to get excited too!<br />
<br />
10:00 AM: Cindy Wickliff sends mysterious email about aliens and a Plant Flunk telling students to stay on high alert. Is the flunk finally on its way??<----I saw a cop car pull over someone near Seymour last night around 2:30am. Could the "questionable light signals" in the email be referring to sirens? Did something go down last night? <<--When Bethany was asked about it she said she didn't know it was being sent today... <- there was a drug bust in Hamblin<br />
<br />
12:03 PM Craig Southern seen with a giant garbage bag containing the Flunk Day TKS, Flunk is near!<br />
<br />
12:32PM too many e-mails from staff members about flunk day procedures. Flunk day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
1:50 pm White truck labeled "Independent Courier" pulled into the library parking lot and parked, obstructing traffic.<-----too early in the day... what good would it do if everyone could see and ruin the surprise. No one is that dumb. <--- This was most likely the truck delivering today's I-Share books. They always get delivered around this time.<br />
<br />
Scott Sunderland, head athletic trainer and lead medical advisor for Flunkness has made multiple hints at this day being Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
3:36 pm: Greek Week events don't start until Thursday. They have always gone Monday-Friday the last 3 years. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
3:45 pm: John Wilkes Booth impersonator spotted at Steak 'n Shake. Photographic proof: Moderate Note: Image Link does not work. Do Not Repost<br />
<br />
3:50 pm: [[Liz Metz]] confirms that she has a meeting with Deb Southern today, and therefore it cannot be Flunk day. <--- These fake meetings mean absolutely nothing!!! Nothing I tell you!<br />
<br />
5:21 PM stage in front of old main is still there. if flunk day weren't tomorrow they would have taken it down. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED. (before people demand pictures, go see for yourself when you go to dinner. the stage is clearly there.)<br />
<br />
5:55 PM: Is that story about the first years in the Quads true? If so, can someone elaborate? <--- What happened? <--- Overdose of carob or figs, softest foods you'll ever find. <br />
<br />
This afternoon: Quickie posted special hours for this week/weekend... and Goldie always knows. <-- False, those are the new hours, they are not special in any way. Bars were put up because the quickie will now be closed for about 6 hours every day and they don't want anyone casing the joint while they're away.<br />
<br />
ROGER TAYLOR SPOTTED JUMPING OLD MAIN IN THE GENERAL LEE!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!! ALSO PRETTY RIGHTEOUS http://i.imgur.com/mWA8i90.jpg<br />
<br />
6:25 PM: Andrei Papancea was asked whether Flunk Day was tomorrow, and Andrei Papancea smiled. Make of this what you will.<br />
<br />
WHY IS THERE NO SUB CATEGORY FOR MAY 6TH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Take a look at the dearth of events on the day: [http://www.knox.edu/calendar/default.aspx]. SERIOUSLY NOT EVEN A CATEGORY FOR IT!?!?!?!?! Also, I have no clue how to make such a thing, can someone please do it.<br />
<br />
6:58 PM You're welcome world. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!! http://i.imgur.com/YyjQAb9.jpg<br />
<br />
6:59 BETHANY SPOTTED ON HER FLUNK DAY STEED!! http://i.imgur.com/LRl7iu5.jpg<br />
<br />
7:25 John Schlaf spotted in Dean Southern's office. Dean Southern looking stressed. Why are they still at work? Must be preparing for the big day.<br />
<br />
7:30 People buying ear plugs at C-store... Flunk Day tomorrow<br />
<br />
8:00 stop constantly refreshing this page and get your homework done. <------------NO!<br />
<br />
8:13 PM http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/32436876.jpg<br />
<br />
8:17 PM Both water taps left running in Post 9 bathroom--forgetful suitemates, or the ghost of Abraham Lincoln telling us to get our drink on for Flunk? <- WHAT IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/1/17/1358440099509/Daniel-Day-Lewis-008.jpg <----- UPDATE: ABE LINCOLN SEEN SLAYING FLUNK DAY NONBELIEVERS!!!!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!! http://www.sourgrapeswinery.com/storage/AbrahamLincolnVampireHunterBACKCOVER.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1333126123161<br />
<br />
8:40 PM Brooklyn Nets fans heard cheering Flunk Day while waiting for game to end versus the Bulls tonight.<br />
<br />
Alumni Vince Rug (Who was here doing a presentation about his very successful career in some class, he's not just creepishly on campus for flunk day or anything) and finance Katie Wrenn spotted sitting outside next to their kiddie pool this afternoon wearing bathing suits but doing work. Kiddie pool was filled with water. Why weren't they in the pool? Getting all the work done to play hard tomorrow?<br />
<br />
I'm not saying that I'm the flunk day planner, but no one has ever seen the flunk day planner and I in the same room together. Just saying.<br />
<br />
8:30 Craig Southern parked his car and then went into Post... stocking up on flunk day mixers from the c store?<br />
<br />
9:06 Xavier spotted with his four-footer, THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
== May 1 ==<br />
<br />
All content deleted from this post. proof that flunk day is Wednesday??? <- it was deleted because people were using the f-word on the internetz <-NOT THE "F" WORD!?!?!<br />
<br />
== May 2 ==<br />
<br />
So apparently [[Daniel Beers]] asked [[Anna Meier]] and [[Katie Miller]] to give a presentation in his class on May 2 but then mysteriously asked if they could do it on April 30 instead. Clearly, this was because of Flunk Day. <--- Probably because he moved his midterm to today. <--- Confirmed. He wanted the midterm moved to today.<br />
<br />
== May 6 ==<br />
<br />
There now its a thing <--- May 6th exists. Flunk day does not.<---Much appreciated.<br />
<br />
== May 7 ==<br />
<br />
There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time? <---- Click click pow click rabbit hands looking frantically around the room.<br />
<br />
[[File:Flunkkkkkkk.jpg]]<br />
<br />
FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW (AND MAY 7TH)<br />
<br />
I do not believe these emails. I do not believe them. I HOPE THE PERSON WHO MADE THEM DIES A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH.<-----Honestly this is pretty god damned impressive if you ask me. This could all be forged but this is one hell of an effort. (Humbled slow clapping)<---- ADMISSIONS never knows when the Flunk happens. <-- [[Alyssa Gill]] emailed [[Sarah Colangelo]] about these emails. This was her response: "FAKE. I would never provoke a discussion about local sports. It's nice work, though." In addition, [[Sam Auch]] looked up the student in question and she is a freshman at that high school. Fake fake fake. <---Props to Ms. Gill.<<<<QUEEN OF WIKIFIRE FLUNK<br />
<br />
SARAH COLANGELO LOVES FLUNK DAY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE <----- Sarah Colangelo is a huge Troll she knows better than to let anything slip even if she did know. <br />
<br />
THERE IS NO FLUNK DAY.<br />
<br />
(Logically, though, how would someone have gotten access to Scolange's email account?) <--- Well, while it might not be full access, you can generally access at least one of someones sent messages by first emailing them. After that, you might receive a sent message from them in your inbox regarding the message you sent. I know its only one message but its something. Sometimes you can respond to the message you received and get even more messages from them too!<br />
<br />
Prospies have been on campus before during Flunk day... doubtful that admissions knows the date.<-- Confirmed, admissions never knows the date.<br />
<br />
The flunk day committee, being considerate as they are, will wait until after next pay period before throwing down the flunk. At least I hope so! I'm not prepared!<br />
<br />
== May 8 ==<br />
<br />
Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day<br />
<br />
[[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]].<br />
<br />
== May 9 ==<br />
<br />
JPow thinks Flunk Day is May 9. Just sayin'. <--JPow predicted that this was the Flunk Date LAST YEAR. He will prove to be incorrect again!<br />
<br />
== May 13 ==<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category: Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=26732Flunk Day 20132013-04-24T05:37:24Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 24 */</p>
<hr />
<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''December 19, 2012'''<br />
A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.<br />
<br />
'''March 4, 2013'''<br />
Roof falls off of Neal.<br />
<br />
'''March 5, 2013'''<br />
Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!<br />
<br />
'''March 15, 2013'''<br />
18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''March 27, 2013'''<br />
[[John Dooley]] says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.<br />
<br />
'''March 28, 2013'''<br />
Official [[Tim Kasser]] Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
8:04 p.m.: [[Kaitlyn Duling]] spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????<br />
<br />
'''March 29, 2013'''<br />
Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! [[Andrei Papancea]] might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member [[Arnold Salgado]] went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...<br />
<br />
'''April 20, 2013'''<br />
4:204:204:204:204:20LINCOLNFEST4:204:204:204:204:20<br />
The only day in recorded history Knox students were on time to anything.<br />
<br />
'''April 21, 2013'''<br />
IT'S DEFINITELY TOMORROW, RIGHT? Yeah. Totally.<br />
<br />
== Flunk Theme 2013 ==<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE.<br />
Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT. <br />
<br />
[[File:space_eel.jpg]]<br />
<br />
<br />
== Flunk Predictions ==<br />
<br />
Senior [[Anna Meier]] has a series on [[The Knox Student]]'s website to predict flunk day. You can follow that here: <br />
http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/<br />
<br />
Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/<br />
<br />
The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. <br />
"Things are moving fast on the Flunk front, which means the OSMFDP remains April 24." &mdash; Sam Martone (@s_martone) April 12, 2013<br />
<br />
== April 1 ==<br />
<br />
At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
== April 3 == <br />
All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.<br />
<br />
10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8 ==<br />
<br />
First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.<br />
<br />
The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.<br />
<br />
Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.<br />
<br />
== April 9 ==<br />
Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.<br />
<br />
The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 11 ==<br />
T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS. <br />
<br />
Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans. <br />
<br />
== April 14 ==<br />
10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic. <br />
<br />
== April 15 ==<br />
<br />
Regina and Kaitlyn were seen buying their flunk day stashes this weekend, FLUNK DAY IS THIS WEEK!<br />
^that wasn't Kaitlyn's Flunk day stash- that was her weekend stash.<br />
<br />
First day selling Flunk Day shirts!<br />
<br />
5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:<br />
<br />
"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk<br />
Bring us this day our daily dunk<br />
of righteous catharsis<br />
and nightmarish rhymes<br />
so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."<br />
<br />
6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!<br />
<br />
6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.<br />
<br />
7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!<br />
<br />
7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.<br />
<br />
7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?<br />
<br />
8:12pm: SPIES<br />
<br />
8:27pm -- I JUST REALIZED THAT THE SIGN UPS FOR FLUNK DAY FRIARS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED AND SO THAT MEANS THEY NEEDED TO KNOW ASAP WHICH MEANS THAT FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT IS AS SOON AS IT CAN BE WITHOUT INTERFERING WITH EARTH WEEK AHHHHHH START DRINKING! <-- Dude they haven't even had a chance to sell t-shirts or send out the safety e-mail... <+++++ SO!? THEY CAN SEND IT OUT ON THE DAY OF! THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR!! NO JIL GATES, NO SYSTEME!! ... Calm yerself. --> Flunk day isn't for awhile; no friars, shit weather, its too close to midterms<br />
<br />
8:41p. [[File:crazysheep.jpg]]<br />
<br />
'''Flunk day is not today'''<br />
<br />
But we did read this in an email from Deb Southern: <br />
<br />
"The clock is ticking . . . let’s make sure that we work together to ensure that future generations of Knox students will have the opportunity to experience Flunk Day."<br />
<br />
SAFETY EMAIL SENT OUT. The season of Flunk is upon us. <br />
<br />
10:48 p.m: A mysteriously large vehicle drove past the quads twice, shining its luminescent headlights across the buildings. SUSPICIOUS!<br />
<br />
== April 16 ==<br />
'''Dear Conger/Neal, <br />
WHY IS THERE NO FUCKING MUD PIT YET?!?! Flunk day is just around the corner and there is no progress. Step it up quads! Plus, the fact that it might rain again will make the digging easier and more fun.''' <br />
<br />
The famous Art Department Field Trip to Chicago that was scheduled for April 16 was mysteriously canceled on account of too few people signing up... riiiight...<br />
<br />
ALL THE SENIORS ARE CHANGING THEIR PROFILE PICTURES TO PICTURES OF FLUNK. FLUNK IS OBVIOUSLY UPON US.<br />
<br />
3:30 p.m: The Axis Dance Company workshops that were supposed to take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have been cancelled! Obviously Flunk day is Thursday! I mean, how many emails did YOU receive about signing up for it, and now its suddenly canceled!<br />
<br />
11:35pm: Suspicious yelling outside the Yellows. Seniors know all. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 17 ==<br />
It's a Wednesday. Suspicious.<br />
<br />
Heavy rains are forecasted today; along with perfect conditions for Mud Pit Digging. GET ON IT CONGER/NEAL! ASSEMBLE THE SHOVELS!<br />
NEAL 1. MAKE THE FUCKING MUDPIT. I'm talking to you, Mickey, Jodi, Stephanie, Ella, Katie, Britney, Becky and Savannah. Oh And Angie, it would help if you would MOTIVATE your residents, to do THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
^^^ who the fuck is Savannah?! #unansweredquestions #theflunkisuponus<br />
<br />
THE MUD PIT DIGGING HAS COMMENCED! Flunk day screamers, start your engines!! <--- CONFIRMED!! The storm gods know its flunk season!<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 19 ==<br />
Flunk Day did - once - occur on a Friday. Tony Gant reported having extremely hungover, severely sunburnt students the following Monday. <br />
<br />
Could 2013 be the year of FridayFlunk?<br />
<br />
Weather forecast calls for snow. Flunking in the snow? Sounds worse than last year in the rain..<br />
<br />
It's an Admitted Students day so it can't be today.<br />
<br />
12:00 a.m: RUMORS OF MUDPIT DIGGING TONIGHT!<br />
<br />
http://thewikifire.org/images/thumb/2/2b/FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png/180px-FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
'''THIS MUST NEVER DIE'''<br />
Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox. The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care, In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of mud pits danced in their heads. And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash, Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew in a flash, Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds. When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say, I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day! More rapid than eagles, the friars they came, They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name! Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame! To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main! Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
== April 22 ==<br />
<br />
Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling gets a glimmer of fear in her eyes every time someone mentions Meatless Monday. <----SUSPICIOUS.<br />
<br />
Craig Southern spotted on campus several times this weekend.... making sure everything goes well for a Monday Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
Upper Classmen seen at Hyvee buying their Flunk Day stash!--->CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Good weather predicted. No athletic events. Seniors have made all necessary flunk day stash procurements.<br />
<br />
SPOTTED: Regina and Craig Southern at the Landmark. Making final preparations undoubtedly. ---> WHAT TIME?!-> 8:30!<br />
<br />
One of my senior housemates just disappeared and can't be reached. This is unusual. Friar?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't a meatless Flunk Day be SO KNOX? Is there even meat in space? <--- Only freeze dried. If they want it to truly be Space Flunk, there will be no meat. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
8:31pm: Craig Southern spotted in Gizmo, paused in line, and exited. Last minute Flunk Day planning?<br />
<br />
10:17pm >>>>Confirmed reports cite seeing Craig Southern on the telephone in his office around 10:00pm. >>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <<<NOPE! Interviewing campus life position<br />
<br />
10:17pm: BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKK SQQQQQQQUUUUUAAAAAADDDDDDD<br />
<br />
<br />
10:20 Who has tabs on Regina and Kaitlyn? COULD FLUNK DAY BE TOMORROW?!<br />
<br />
10:29 Lights on in the mailroom! Someone keep watch!<br />
<br />
Matthew Becker, one of last years friars, was on campus this weekend. Supposed to be leaving Monday. Why not Sunday? Something's Flunky!<br />
<br />
Three students in Tompkins were just informed by Kathleen Drake that tomorrow is el Dia de Flunk! Should we start drinking now??<br />
<br />
10:45 Kaitlyn's cover photo has turned to Flunk.<br />
<br />
10:57PM: Andrei Papancea looks unusually chipper doing his homework tonight... Sign of Flunk Day in the air?<br />
<br />
11:03 Three Seniors seen with booze and air horns. Are they Friars? >>>>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:12 Strange animal noises coming from Tompkins. Tomorrow is Flunk <<<<< CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
11:14 Senate president Mike Gasparro changed his profile pic to FLUNKING with Senior class president Justin Steele in it!!! Coincidence? I think not!!!! he has to know <<- THIS COULD BE HUGE!! >>>>>CONFIRMED<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:20 Bethany Marinier leaves the townhouses suspiciously, refuses to answer questions as to where she's going <<< Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:24 Jil Gates, former Master of Fun and Flunk Goddess changed her cover photo to a picture from Flunk Day 2011. She definitely knows that tomorrow's the Flunk.<--- SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE! <--- You think the planners wouldn't invite her to Flunk with us?!!?!? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
11:27pm There are barely any people in the library.....the flunk is all around us. <<<-CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
It has be said that the flunk shipment arrived friday, they can't it for too long. Flunk day is tomorrow. <---- Shipment could also have been for the Lincolnfest picnic. The caf gets shipments every single day. Doesn't mean anything.<br />
<br />
The old flunk day twitter is in denial. Why so eager to say there's no flunk? Suspicious. <<<- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
No one thinks it's Flunk Day tomorrow.....ergo, Flunk Day is tomorrow! <------ CONFIRMED <----------- Flunk while no one is looking, stay vigilant Knox<br />
<br />
11:30 pm Bethany Mariner and Andrei Papancea are spotted hurrying into the Gizmo. Flunk is afoot...<br />
<br />
11:45 I see a new Flunk Day Song. Found from a status on Facebook: <br />
I believe I can flunk. <br />
I believe I can flunk this year! <br />
I think about it every night and day. <br />
Pour a drink and flunk away! <br />
I believe I can flunk!!!! <br />
I see me running through Old Main's lawn. <br />
I believe I can flunk :-)<br />
<br />
11:57pm: Matt J has a court date at 10:30 on April 22nd, it's totally Flunk Day. <-- I don't know if this is CONFIRMED but either way THIS IS HUGE. <--- CONFIRMED, I got pulled over with him in Peoria, they thought we were running drugs back to Galesburg, but in reality we had gone to Culver's and cashed his paycheck. <br />
<br />
11:59p.m: Regina Rosenbrock spotted sealing her eyes shut with neon puffy paint. Flunk? <-- Why would you seal your eyes with puffy paint if the greatest day of the year is coming up? Should be lining them and making them stay open! For all the Flunking!<br />
<br />
12:03am: Renowned former Knox attendee, [[Alicia Niles]] seriously considers buying a 7am train ticket as Flunksurance, THIS COULD BE HUGE <-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUFT35S7Jb4<br />
<br />
12:31 AM: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS <--- When the Dark Lords of Flunk evoke the ghost of Lincoln, times are desperate.<-- You guys keep this up, and Lincoln's ghost will come down and destroy Flunk Day. Don't provoke the 16th President. <-- "If you're a racist I will attack you with the North." - Abraham Lincoln - Michael Scott<br />
<br />
1:56 AM: Kaity HutchCroft posted a picture of people digging the mudpit on Instagram!!!! Possibilities of flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 23 ==<br />
4:32 PM: Andrei has purchased an air horn. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
5:47 PM: .......it begins.......<br />
<br />
6:30 PM: Andrei Papancea spotted at Walmart looking at what seems to be a large, glass vessel... This could be huge.<br />
[[File:vessel.png]]<br />
<br />
10:26 PM: Nice little four hour break for a pre Flunk Day posting session. Way to go WikiFire. <-- I don't know whether to be suspicious or disappointed.<br />
<br />
11:30 PM: Flunk day must be tomorrow because it is the only day I have classes. Also, Andrei was not at chapter the other day. He was probably out coordinating things last minute...<br />
<br />
Alumni friend messaged and said she heard it was this day....<br />
<br />
12:03 AM: I'M ALDUS SNOW. BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT. <-------CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
Suspicious Facebook event for Alumni Flunk Day today and Wednesday? Hmm... <------- Those are never relevant to the actual flunk day, get with it!<br />
<br />
1:06 AM: LOUD NOISES HEARD NEAR THE SOCCER FIELD. PROBABLY SOME FORM OF TRAIN. <----- Thank you. For real. This brought a smile to face that needed it. Flunk on, my friends, flunk until the Earth stops spinning.<br />
<br />
1:48 AM: Goldie said he didn't see any unusual people buying unusually large quantities of alcohol. He thinks it's too early for Flunk Day. But the Soviets thought it was too early to put a person on the moon in '69 and we gave the doubters some permanent footprints and a perpetually mid-wave flag on the lunar surface. SPACE FLUNK. <---- No one buys Flunk Day stashes from the Quickie!<br />
<br />
== April 24 ==<br />
<br />
Kathy in the caf said that she hasn't started preparing the Flunk Day baked goods yet, and she usually starts a few days before Flunk. Her guess is that Flunk Day will be sometime next week.<br />
<br />
Josh Hosmer-Quint asked Kaitlin Duling if Flunk Day is gonna be this upcoming Wednesday. She winked at him. <br />
Seems legit. <--- NOT LEGIT. NOT CONFIRMED. Just because she winked at him DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GONNA BE FLUNK DAY. <--- Yeah! Kaitlyn Duling winks at everybody. REAL NICE PREDICTION YOU HAVE THERE. <--- I so agree with you. I wish people would stop posting jokes on the WikiFire. I actually want to know when Flunk Day is going to be. <--- Confirmed. Some people are serious students and actually need to know for their planning. <--- I KNOWWWW. <--- Yeah, people seriously need to stop trolling. <---but the WikiFire is troll central. It's part of the fun. DO YOU EVEN GO HERE <--- Look, referencing The Breakfast Club doesn't make you look smarter. Editing The Wiki Fire doesn't make you more clever. And trolling me definitely isn't gonna stop me from beating you. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. <--- Well that escalated quickly. <--- not really... <--- Ain't nobody got time this.<br />
<br />
^^^FOR THE SAKE OF THE ABOVE, LET IT BE FLUNK ON THIS DAY. Have you people lost the spirit entirely? Or are you first years who know no better? Flunk Day is not about planning. Flunk Day is not about being a serious student. Why else would they put FLUNK in the title? FLUNK your planners, FLUNK your regular lives, FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK. THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED. <--- can we all stop replacing "fuck" for "flunk?" it makes us all sound like Christian Bible Camp team leaders or something. Would you actually say "Flunk you" out loud trying to be funny? my guess is no... <---"flunk you" in response to this. <-- SERIOUSLY? Who are you people? FLUNK DAY IS THE GREATEST OF DAYS. Stop the negativity and FLUNK<br />
<br />
<br />
'''<br />
Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(see schedules below)''' Its not gonna be flunk day. 1) its midterms 2) the food isn't here 3) in April 29th.<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main<br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, CFA & The Box <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
1:00 PM Baseball - Robert Morris - Springfield (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Softball - Eureka College (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Men's Tennis - Coe College Galesburg, IL <br><br />
4:00 PM Earth Month Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br><br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br><br />
6:00 PM Bike Repair Basics Knox Bike Shop <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br><br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
BUT ACTUALLY: 5am-midnight= FLUNK DAY. Meetings don't matter, clubs don't matter, sports don't matter (in 2010 the golf team got their phones taken away and were informed it was Flunk Day during an away tournament). DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP. No one is better at trolling than the Flunk Day planners. <--Confirmed<br />
<br />
`What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever?' persisted the King.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: `Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.<br />
<br />
`Unimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word sounded best.<br />
<br />
<br />
April 23rd- Kaitlyn looks outside worried and says she hopes it stops raining. ....maybe because she wants perfect weather for Flunk Day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
Driving on the interstate and spotted a replica NASA shuttle launch pad ride thing. This is clearly space themed thus flunk day related. Will check Holiday Inn parking lot and update later if more info. <---- off 74? Where? THIS COULD BE HUGE I WILL PERSONALLY CHECK ON THIS IF I CAN GET MORE INFO THANKS!<br />
<br />
Velociraptors seen running around wearing space helmets with Flunk written on them. Flunk day is tomorrow!!! <-- CONFIRMED <-- Jesus we're back on this shit about Velociraptors? Shit was funny two years ago. <--well someone's clearly lost the Flunk spirit, but no matter [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UVtlb8EJEkU/TuutKN1jp_I/AAAAAAAAA00/gRK1475go6c/s1600/OBrienDino.jpg]<-- Obviously the Velociraptor sightings are bullshit since they died out with the Final Flunk. What you actually saw were Miniature Giant Space Chickens from the planet Acheron. THE FLUNK IS ON!<-- its not quite that easy to kill a velociraptor<--Of course, you must be velociraptor to know that and survived by learning how to use technology.<br />
<br />
7:43pm overheard caf workers complaining about late night food prep for tomorrow's "big event" <-- THIS!!<br />
<br />
I haven't bought my stash yet! SOMEONE TAKE ME TO DISCOUNT I'M SCARED!!<br />
<br />
Senior John Cusimano spotted drunk already?! This could be huge!!-->Confirmed->> DOUBLE CONFIRMED LET'S ALL DRINK <-- John said his 'source' told him today will be Flunk Day <-its because he went out with liz woodyard and alums<br />
<br />
9:33 pm Jmaw Moses, president elect of the Knox College Choir, and leader extraordinaire in Sigma Chi told me that one of his brothers instrumental in planning Flunk Day said tomorrow is the best possibility.<br />
<br />
9:45 PM - The Quickie doors are locked. THIS COULD BE HUGE (or not, some things are just normal-sized)<== Goldie has to go to the bathroom like the rest of us. No panic necessary.<br />
9:50 PM - The Quickie reopened after a very short time (4 minutes 24 seconds, maybe?). Goldie says there's a sale on fifths of Jose Cuervo, and told me "it could be tomorrow," and "tomorrow is the best day" when I checked out.<br />
9:56pm: HyVee Wine and Spirits workers report a large influx of Knox students tonight. COULD IT BE?? <== CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
10:00PM- Schedule says Men's Tennis is playing Coe College; Coe's schedule says they are playing Wartburg.. Wartburg says they are playing Coe at home. HMMMMM?!<br />
<br />
10:04 PM- Seniors seen whispering in hallway in Hamblin. Do friars know who they are yet? Will they not know until Flunk Day? CAN ANYONE CONFIRM OR DENY THESE CLAIMS? <--- They told us we won't know til the morning of.<br />
<br />
10:07 PM Craig Southern seen dashing out of Campus Life office, papers in hand. Making way to Old Main in a hurry. <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<br />
<br />
Has anyone checked the mailroom recently?? They may slip up like they did a couple years ago! <<<---- There's glass doors this year, someone should stake out and wait...<br />
<br />
10:22 CONFRIMED!!! John Cusimano, Liz Woodyard and Alums (mysteriously visiting) running through the halls of hamblin clearly DRUNK WITH FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ON!!!! it's flunk day motherflunkers!!!! <-Chis Johnson visiting isn't mysterious <- yes it is <- no it isn't<br />
<br />
10:23 Ghost of Flunk Day Past to tell you it is FLUNK DAY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE <---CONFIRMED!!! I'm glad someone else remembers this!<br />
<br />
10:23 PM- Walter Palmer reports that tennis is still playing Coe at home because Coe is splitting their squad. In a related story, he also tells his incredibly loud neighbor to "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!"---> if the match was scheduled after they picked the Flunk day date, then it will be cancelled. THe FLunk stops for nothing!<br />
<br />
Walmart is out of Flunk jugs! The seniors know somethinggggggg! Also, now I have nothing to flunk out of... <--- Walmart ran out weeks ago. You must be a first year...<br />
<br />
10:31 FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!! faculty just got an e-mail<br />
<br />
10:41 PM: Goldie predicts that it will rain beer tomorrow! THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
'''LIL B SAYS IT'S FLUNK DAY BITCHESSSSSSSS'''<br />
[[File:<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5FYXbXu45AQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>]]<br />
<br />
Spotted: Potential friars at Duffy's. Regina Rosenbrock--known Flunk Day planner--declined the offer...she vaguely speaks of having "things to do..." Suspicious?<br />
<br />
UPDATE: REGINA JUST LEFT HER APARTMENT. I REPEAT, REGINA HAS LEFT. HER. APARTMENT. WHERE IS SHE GOING? <== AND KAITLYN ISN'T IN HER APARTMENT EITHER!<br />
<br />
Has anyone else realized all the dates are off right now? Today's the 23rd...<-- DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORKS <-- Confirmed <---FRESHMEN!!! haha you write things on the date you think it is going to be. <--- Incorrect. Look at past years. You write on the day that it IS, like a timeline...<<<<YOU DO FUCKING BOTH.....<=yeah, if you have info for a specific day you post there, or if you're logging events that took place today you do it here.<br />
<br />
10:53: Bethany Mariner re-sends flunk day work reschedules to Union Board workers!!<--CONFIRMED <--Has anyone seen her!?<br />
<br />
10:58pm:Senior Abe Eastman and friend of Regina seen leaving Post<br />
<br />
THE Matt Gordon SAYS tomorrow is FLUNK DAY. THIS IS HUGE<br />
<br />
THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. I REPEAT, THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. START DRINKING NOW <--- CONFIRMED!! <--- Pictures required for us plebeians that aren't RA's <--- take a screenshot! then TAKE A SHOT! <-- The RAs don't get previous knowledge of Flunk Day. Source: I'm an RA <--maybe they just don't like you and you're a bad ra? <-- Maybe we don't get to know because we're like every other student and want to have the blissful surprise of the Flunk Day fairies dancing in our dreams! <-- Why am I not in this secret society of RA's, I'm cool guys. <-- We're RAs. Probably meaning we're not "that" terribly cool.<br />
<br />
STUDENTS ABROAD GOT THE EMAIL. <- CONFIRMED I wish I was on campus. Have fun everyone! <---------- forrealdoe?<br />
<br />
Sources (the flunk day advisor) have confirmed that she had to go to a meeting for flunk day planning and flunk day is NOT the 24th!<--obviously a trick. Why would the flunk day advisor tell any student when Flunk day is?? <-- Jil Gates is gone! LIES! <-- There is NO LYING ON THE WIKIFIRE!<----CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
11:11 MAKE A WISH IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW<br />
<br />
Saw Regina walking in UB OFFICE!<-- CONFIRMED! I saw her too! Has anyone seen the other 3??<br />
<br />
11:25- Helmet seen carrying crates full of hot dog and hamburger buns through the loading dock of the caf <<<< CONFIRMED <<<<<<<< THIS IS HUGE<<<<<<PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN ... wait i totally saw hime when he stopped at the intersection of south and west to let me cross. AAHHHHHAHHAHAHAIfhsoH+OIHSFHSDF!!! its really flunk day! <--- Helmut has a tiny car, I remain unconvinced. <br />
<br />
11:47 Just saw a bouncy castle in a pick up truck in Walmart parking lot! <---Pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
11:55 Regina and Bethany have both liked a Knox Compliments status within the last 15 minutes. They are on Facebook. <---Holy shit, I'M ON FACEBOOK TOO, FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
11:57 seniors spotted at the mud pit <br />
<br />
11:59 NASA has received dozens of reports of UFOs traveling over the Galesburg area, put on your space hats and start drinking!<---You're not funny. Please leave.<--Feel the Flunk. <br />
<br />
12:00 AM [http://imgur.com/gallery/z7Vmd] Flunk Day kittehs confirm... its time to get drunk!<br />
<br />
Deleting my comments about the RA email? Flunk Day for sure tomorrow. Good game, everyone.<--gg wp <--- somebody also deleted my comment about [[bong]]s and [[beer]]. FLUNK FASCISTS <-- Bongs having its own page makes me happy. Much like bongs.<br />
<br />
12:20 AM WHERE ARE THE PLANNERS!? AND HAS ANYONE CHECKED THE MAIL ROOM??<=Regina is still MIA from her room, Bethany seen entering longden/Griffith, known residence of Amelia, BFFL and secret flunk day planner<br />
<br />
12:24 AM It warms my heart to see the wikifire so tightly packed with enthusiasm, I can't stress this enough. <---CONFIRMED. ME TOO. Feeling the Flunk. <--- If all of these comments were in a bucket and someone tried to pull just one of them out, many comments would end up popping out because of how TIGHTLY PACKED they are...and I can't stress this enough.<=== as tightly packed at Freshmen in the foam pit! <br />
<br />
STOP THINKING IT IS FLUNK DAY! BASEBALL AND SOFTBALL HAVE GAMES! THEY WOULD NOT PUT IT ON A DAY WITH TWO SPORTING EVENTS! <--- Flunk is a [http://feel.livelyblog.com/files/2012/08/battlefeel.jpg battlefeel]<br />
<br />
== April 25 ==<br />
<br />
This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?<br />
<br />
It cannot be today as the Thursday before the concert is the Symphony move day and Pearl (da boss) has already submitted it to the school as a conflict date. Source: I work for her.<br />
<br />
== April 26 ==<br />
<br />
Official Tim Kasser prediction.<br />
<br />
Admitted students day- Flunk will not be today. Unlikely to be day before because campus will be messed up for the prospies. <--- False. Admitted Students Day is this Friday (the 19th). CHECK YO EVENTS CALENDAR. <---CONFIRMED. April 26 is NOT an Admitted Students day. There are no more of them!<br />
<br />
Run-A-Thon- Flunk will not be today.<br />
<br />
Plus, Knox is making a big deal of the Earth Month activities for that weekend and they likely don't want the campus all messed up for that. <---Campus has been flunked up for bigger activities. If this day is not Flunk, it will more likely be because it is a Friday.<br />
<br />
The State Superintendent of Education is visiting campus today. Not a chance of Flunk. <---Confirmed. The Ed department told all the majors to look presentable in class.<br />
<br />
== April 29 ==<br />
<br />
The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.<br />
<br />
Word is the Baseball Gods and the Flunk Day Gods have been working in cahoots this year. After a long trip to and from Wisconsin on this weekend the combo of Gods have decided that this is the only viable option for Flunk Day. The scripture is written and so it shall be.<--Except for the fact a doubleheader vs. Loras was rescheduled to this day. Not gonna happen.<---AHA but there be hope yet. Loras still lists the Knox doubleheader as cancelled and has no games listed for the 29th. Eisele is trying to trick us but we shall not let him!<br />
<br />
There is a professor from California giving a lecture today.<br />
<br />
THIS IS THE LAST DAY THAT FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ARE ON SALE. SUSPICIOUS? FLUNKSPICIOUS?<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] says that today is NOT flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<-- Its also like 300 other peoples 4th flunk day. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
== April 30 ==<br />
<br />
There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada?<br />
<br />
This is [[Max Potthoff]]'s birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Custodial Staff is predicting a late April , Early May Flunk Day! April 30 has to be Flunk Day<---------------'''This Could Be Huge!!!!!!''' <-- Certain Caf workers also informed me that they got the Menu for Flunk Day in the second week in April. They said that usually the day happens only a week or two after they receive the menu- placing it around the 4th week in April or April 30th.<br />
If its April 30th, its gonna make cinco de mayo the shit that sunday.<br />
<br />
Also who's got ideas about the flunk day stash?<br />
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Bottles_of_Canadian_Club_Whisky.JPG<br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Caxton Club: Brian Turner Alumni Room, Old Main <br><br />
4:00 PM Chess Club Meeting Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
7:00 PM Amnesty International Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] thinks that today might be flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<br />
<br />
This is the day I want it to be flunk day. Therefore, it will be flunk day.<br />
<br />
== May 1 ==<br />
<br />
FUCK YOU <<< THIS COULD BE HUGE <<< ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
'''<br />
'''<br />
== Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything.''' '''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' == (see schedules below)'''<br />
<br />
''All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br />
4:00 PM Zazen Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union<br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] predicts that today might be flunk day. Listen to the gospel of the Rup.<br />
<br />
== May 7 ==<br />
<br />
There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time?<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
3:30 PM Baseball - Millikin University (DH) Decatur, IL <br><br />
4:00 PM Chess Club Meeting Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:00 PM Amnesty International Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
<br />
<br />
[[File:Flunkkkkkkk.jpg]]<br />
<br />
FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW (AND MAY 7TH)<br />
<br />
I do not believe these emails. I do not believe them. I HOPE THE PERSON WHO MADE THEM DIES A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH.<-----Honestly this is pretty god damned impressive if you ask me. This could all be forged but this is one hell of an effort. (Humbled slow clapping)<---- ADMISSIONS never knows when the Flunk happens.<br />
<br />
(Logically, though, how would someone have gotten access to Scolange's email account?) <--- Well, while it might not be full access, you can generally access at least one of someones sent messages by first emailing them. After that, you might receive a sent message from them in your inbox regarding the message you sent. I know its only one message but its something. Sometimes you can respond to the message you received and get even more messages from them too!<br />
<br />
Prospies have been on campus before during Flunk day... doubtful that admissions knows the date.<-- Confirmed, admissions never knows the date.<br />
<br />
== May 8 ==<br />
<br />
Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day<br />
<br />
[[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]].<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Zazen Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br><br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br><br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
<br />
== May 9 ==<br />
<br />
JPow thinks Flunk Day is May 9. Just sayin'. <--JPow predicted that this was the Flunk Date LAST YEAR. He will prove to be incorrect again!<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Knox Model UN Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
4:15 PM Asian Student Association (ASA) Asian Cultural House <br><br />
5:00 PM Ballroom Dancing Club Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
5:15 PM Community Dinner @ Knox Prairie Community Kitchen (KPCK) Central Congregational Church, Galesburg, IL <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:30 PM Knox New Plays Festival Studio Theatre, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
8:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:00 PM Jazz Night McGillacuddy's Restaurant, Galesburg <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Conservatives Lobby, Post Hall <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Democrats Meeting Gizmo <br><br />
9:00 PM Students Against Sexism in Society (SASS) Human Rights Center <br><br />
<br />
== May 13 ==<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category: Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=26714Flunk Day 20132013-04-24T05:12:37Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 24 */</p>
<hr />
<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''December 19, 2012'''<br />
A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.<br />
<br />
'''March 4, 2013'''<br />
Roof falls off of Neal.<br />
<br />
'''March 5, 2013'''<br />
Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!<br />
<br />
'''March 15, 2013'''<br />
18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''March 27, 2013'''<br />
[[John Dooley]] says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.<br />
<br />
'''March 28, 2013'''<br />
Official [[Tim Kasser]] Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
8:04 p.m.: [[Kaitlyn Duling]] spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????<br />
<br />
'''March 29, 2013'''<br />
Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! [[Andrei Papancea]] might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member [[Arnold Salgado]] went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...<br />
<br />
'''April 20, 2013'''<br />
4:204:204:204:204:20LINCOLNFEST4:204:204:204:204:20<br />
The only day in recorded history Knox students were on time to anything.<br />
<br />
'''April 21, 2013'''<br />
IT'S DEFINITELY TOMORROW, RIGHT? Yeah. Totally.<br />
<br />
== Flunk Theme 2013 ==<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE.<br />
Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT. <br />
<br />
[[File:space_eel.jpg]]<br />
<br />
<br />
== Flunk Predictions ==<br />
<br />
Senior [[Anna Meier]] has a series on [[The Knox Student]]'s website to predict flunk day. You can follow that here: <br />
http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/<br />
<br />
Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/<br />
<br />
The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. <br />
"Things are moving fast on the Flunk front, which means the OSMFDP remains April 24." &mdash; Sam Martone (@s_martone) April 12, 2013<br />
<br />
== April 1 ==<br />
<br />
At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
== April 3 == <br />
All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.<br />
<br />
10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8 ==<br />
<br />
First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.<br />
<br />
The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.<br />
<br />
Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.<br />
<br />
== April 9 ==<br />
Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.<br />
<br />
The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 11 ==<br />
T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS. <br />
<br />
Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans. <br />
<br />
== April 14 ==<br />
10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic. <br />
<br />
== April 15 ==<br />
<br />
Regina and Kaitlyn were seen buying their flunk day stashes this weekend, FLUNK DAY IS THIS WEEK!<br />
^that wasn't Kaitlyn's Flunk day stash- that was her weekend stash.<br />
<br />
First day selling Flunk Day shirts!<br />
<br />
5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:<br />
<br />
"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk<br />
Bring us this day our daily dunk<br />
of righteous catharsis<br />
and nightmarish rhymes<br />
so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."<br />
<br />
6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!<br />
<br />
6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.<br />
<br />
7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!<br />
<br />
7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.<br />
<br />
7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?<br />
<br />
8:12pm: SPIES<br />
<br />
8:27pm -- I JUST REALIZED THAT THE SIGN UPS FOR FLUNK DAY FRIARS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED AND SO THAT MEANS THEY NEEDED TO KNOW ASAP WHICH MEANS THAT FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT IS AS SOON AS IT CAN BE WITHOUT INTERFERING WITH EARTH WEEK AHHHHHH START DRINKING! <-- Dude they haven't even had a chance to sell t-shirts or send out the safety e-mail... <+++++ SO!? THEY CAN SEND IT OUT ON THE DAY OF! THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR!! NO JIL GATES, NO SYSTEME!! ... Calm yerself. --> Flunk day isn't for awhile; no friars, shit weather, its too close to midterms<br />
<br />
8:41p. [[File:crazysheep.jpg]]<br />
<br />
'''Flunk day is not today'''<br />
<br />
But we did read this in an email from Deb Southern: <br />
<br />
"The clock is ticking . . . let’s make sure that we work together to ensure that future generations of Knox students will have the opportunity to experience Flunk Day."<br />
<br />
SAFETY EMAIL SENT OUT. The season of Flunk is upon us. <br />
<br />
10:48 p.m: A mysteriously large vehicle drove past the quads twice, shining its luminescent headlights across the buildings. SUSPICIOUS!<br />
<br />
== April 16 ==<br />
'''Dear Conger/Neal, <br />
WHY IS THERE NO FUCKING MUD PIT YET?!?! Flunk day is just around the corner and there is no progress. Step it up quads! Plus, the fact that it might rain again will make the digging easier and more fun.''' <br />
<br />
The famous Art Department Field Trip to Chicago that was scheduled for April 16 was mysteriously canceled on account of too few people signing up... riiiight...<br />
<br />
ALL THE SENIORS ARE CHANGING THEIR PROFILE PICTURES TO PICTURES OF FLUNK. FLUNK IS OBVIOUSLY UPON US.<br />
<br />
3:30 p.m: The Axis Dance Company workshops that were supposed to take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have been cancelled! Obviously Flunk day is Thursday! I mean, how many emails did YOU receive about signing up for it, and now its suddenly canceled!<br />
<br />
11:35pm: Suspicious yelling outside the Yellows. Seniors know all. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 17 ==<br />
It's a Wednesday. Suspicious.<br />
<br />
Heavy rains are forecasted today; along with perfect conditions for Mud Pit Digging. GET ON IT CONGER/NEAL! ASSEMBLE THE SHOVELS!<br />
NEAL 1. MAKE THE FUCKING MUDPIT. I'm talking to you, Mickey, Jodi, Stephanie, Ella, Katie, Britney, Becky and Savannah. Oh And Angie, it would help if you would MOTIVATE your residents, to do THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
^^^ who the fuck is Savannah?! #unansweredquestions #theflunkisuponus<br />
<br />
THE MUD PIT DIGGING HAS COMMENCED! Flunk day screamers, start your engines!! <--- CONFIRMED!! The storm gods know its flunk season!<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 19 ==<br />
Flunk Day did - once - occur on a Friday. Tony Gant reported having extremely hungover, severely sunburnt students the following Monday. <br />
<br />
Could 2013 be the year of FridayFlunk?<br />
<br />
Weather forecast calls for snow. Flunking in the snow? Sounds worse than last year in the rain..<br />
<br />
It's an Admitted Students day so it can't be today.<br />
<br />
12:00 a.m: RUMORS OF MUDPIT DIGGING TONIGHT!<br />
<br />
http://thewikifire.org/images/thumb/2/2b/FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png/180px-FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
'''THIS MUST NEVER DIE'''<br />
Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox. The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care, In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of mud pits danced in their heads. And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash, Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew in a flash, Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds. When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say, I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day! More rapid than eagles, the friars they came, They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name! Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame! To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main! Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
== April 22 ==<br />
<br />
Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling gets a glimmer of fear in her eyes every time someone mentions Meatless Monday. <----SUSPICIOUS.<br />
<br />
Craig Southern spotted on campus several times this weekend.... making sure everything goes well for a Monday Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
Upper Classmen seen at Hyvee buying their Flunk Day stash!--->CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Good weather predicted. No athletic events. Seniors have made all necessary flunk day stash procurements.<br />
<br />
SPOTTED: Regina and Craig Southern at the Landmark. Making final preparations undoubtedly. ---> WHAT TIME?!-> 8:30!<br />
<br />
One of my senior housemates just disappeared and can't be reached. This is unusual. Friar?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't a meatless Flunk Day be SO KNOX? Is there even meat in space? <--- Only freeze dried. If they want it to truly be Space Flunk, there will be no meat. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
8:31pm: Craig Southern spotted in Gizmo, paused in line, and exited. Last minute Flunk Day planning?<br />
<br />
10:17pm >>>>Confirmed reports cite seeing Craig Southern on the telephone in his office around 10:00pm. >>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <<<NOPE! Interviewing campus life position<br />
<br />
10:17pm: BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKK SQQQQQQQUUUUUAAAAAADDDDDDD<br />
<br />
<br />
10:20 Who has tabs on Regina and Kaitlyn? COULD FLUNK DAY BE TOMORROW?!<br />
<br />
10:29 Lights on in the mailroom! Someone keep watch!<br />
<br />
Matthew Becker, one of last years friars, was on campus this weekend. Supposed to be leaving Monday. Why not Sunday? Something's Flunky!<br />
<br />
Three students in Tompkins were just informed by Kathleen Drake that tomorrow is el Dia de Flunk! Should we start drinking now??<br />
<br />
10:45 Kaitlyn's cover photo has turned to Flunk.<br />
<br />
10:57PM: Andrei Papancea looks unusually chipper doing his homework tonight... Sign of Flunk Day in the air?<br />
<br />
11:03 Three Seniors seen with booze and air horns. Are they Friars? >>>>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:12 Strange animal noises coming from Tompkins. Tomorrow is Flunk <<<<< CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
11:14 Senate president Mike Gasparro changed his profile pic to FLUNKING with Senior class president Justin Steele in it!!! Coincidence? I think not!!!! he has to know <<- THIS COULD BE HUGE!! >>>>>CONFIRMED<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:20 Bethany Marinier leaves the townhouses suspiciously, refuses to answer questions as to where she's going <<< Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:24 Jil Gates, former Master of Fun and Flunk Goddess changed her cover photo to a picture from Flunk Day 2011. She definitely knows that tomorrow's the Flunk.<--- SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE! <--- You think the planners wouldn't invite her to Flunk with us?!!?!? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
11:27pm There are barely any people in the library.....the flunk is all around us. <<<-CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
It has be said that the flunk shipment arrived friday, they can't it for too long. Flunk day is tomorrow. <---- Shipment could also have been for the Lincolnfest picnic. The caf gets shipments every single day. Doesn't mean anything.<br />
<br />
The old flunk day twitter is in denial. Why so eager to say there's no flunk? Suspicious. <<<- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
No one thinks it's Flunk Day tomorrow.....ergo, Flunk Day is tomorrow! <------ CONFIRMED <----------- Flunk while no one is looking, stay vigilant Knox<br />
<br />
11:30 pm Bethany Mariner and Andrei Papancea are spotted hurrying into the Gizmo. Flunk is afoot...<br />
<br />
11:45 I see a new Flunk Day Song. Found from a status on Facebook: <br />
I believe I can flunk. <br />
I believe I can flunk this year! <br />
I think about it every night and day. <br />
Pour a drink and flunk away! <br />
I believe I can flunk!!!! <br />
I see me running through Old Main's lawn. <br />
I believe I can flunk :-)<br />
<br />
11:57pm: Matt J has a court date at 10:30 on April 22nd, it's totally Flunk Day. <-- I don't know if this is CONFIRMED but either way THIS IS HUGE. <--- CONFIRMED, I got pulled over with him in Peoria, they thought we were running drugs back to Galesburg, but in reality we had gone to Culver's and cashed his paycheck. <br />
<br />
11:59p.m: Regina Rosenbrock spotted sealing her eyes shut with neon puffy paint. Flunk? <-- Why would you seal your eyes with puffy paint if the greatest day of the year is coming up? Should be lining them and making them stay open! For all the Flunking!<br />
<br />
12:03am: Renowned former Knox attendee, [[Alicia Niles]] seriously considers buying a 7am train ticket as Flunksurance, THIS COULD BE HUGE <-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUFT35S7Jb4<br />
<br />
12:31 AM: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS <--- When the Dark Lords of Flunk evoke the ghost of Lincoln, times are desperate.<-- You guys keep this up, and Lincoln's ghost will come down and destroy Flunk Day. Don't provoke the 16th President. <-- "If you're a racist I will attack you with the North." - Abraham Lincoln - Michael Scott<br />
<br />
1:56 AM: Kaity HutchCroft posted a picture of people digging the mudpit on Instagram!!!! Possibilities of flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 23 ==<br />
4:32 PM: Andrei has purchased an air horn. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
5:47 PM: .......it begins.......<br />
<br />
6:30 PM: Andrei Papancea spotted at Walmart looking at what seems to be a large, glass vessel... This could be huge.<br />
[[File:vessel.png]]<br />
<br />
10:26 PM: Nice little four hour break for a pre Flunk Day posting session. Way to go WikiFire. <-- I don't know whether to be suspicious or disappointed.<br />
<br />
11:30 PM: Flunk day must be tomorrow because it is the only day I have classes. Also, Andrei was not at chapter the other day. He was probably out coordinating things last minute...<br />
<br />
Alumni friend messaged and said she heard it was this day....<br />
<br />
12:03 AM: I'M ALDUS SNOW. BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT. <-------CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
Suspicious Facebook event for Alumni Flunk Day today and Wednesday? Hmm... <------- Those are never relevant to the actual flunk day, get with it!<br />
<br />
1:06 AM: LOUD NOISES HEARD NEAR THE SOCCER FIELD. PROBABLY SOME FORM OF TRAIN. <----- Thank you. For real. This brought a smile to face that needed it. Flunk on, my friends, flunk until the Earth stops spinning.<br />
<br />
1:48 AM: Goldie said he didn't see any unusual people buying unusually large quantities of alcohol. He thinks it's too early for Flunk Day. But the Soviets thought it was too early to put a person on the moon in '69 and we gave the doubters some permanent footprints and a perpetually mid-wave flag on the lunar surface. SPACE FLUNK. <---- No one buys Flunk Day stashes from the Quickie!<br />
<br />
== April 24 ==<br />
<br />
Kathy in the caf said that she hasn't started preparing the Flunk Day baked goods yet, and she usually starts a few days before Flunk. Her guess is that Flunk Day will be sometime next week.<br />
<br />
Josh Hosmer-Quint asked Kaitlin Duling if Flunk Day is gonna be this upcoming Wednesday. She winked at him. <br />
Seems legit. <--- NOT LEGIT. NOT CONFIRMED. Just because she winked at him DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GONNA BE FLUNK DAY. <--- Yeah! Kaitlyn Duling winks at everybody. REAL NICE PREDICTION YOU HAVE THERE. <--- I so agree with you. I wish people would stop posting jokes on the WikiFire. I actually want to know when Flunk Day is going to be. <--- Confirmed. Some people are serious students and actually need to know for their planning. <--- I KNOWWWW. <--- Yeah, people seriously need to stop trolling. <---but the WikiFire is troll central. It's part of the fun. DO YOU EVEN GO HERE <--- Look, referencing The Breakfast Club doesn't make you look smarter. Editing The Wiki Fire doesn't make you more clever. And trolling me definitely isn't gonna stop me from beating you. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. <--- Well that escalated quickly. <--- not really... <--- Ain't nobody got time this.<br />
<br />
^^^FOR THE SAKE OF THE ABOVE, LET IT BE FLUNK ON THIS DAY. Have you people lost the spirit entirely? Or are you first years who know no better? Flunk Day is not about planning. Flunk Day is not about being a serious student. Why else would they put FLUNK in the title? FLUNK your planners, FLUNK your regular lives, FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK. THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED. <--- can we all stop replacing "fuck" for "flunk?" it makes us all sound like Christian Bible Camp team leaders or something. Would you actually say "Flunk you" out loud trying to be funny? my guess is no... <---"flunk you" in response to this. <-- SERIOUSLY? Who are you people? FLUNK DAY IS THE GREATEST OF DAYS. Stop the negativity and FLUNK<br />
<br />
<br />
'''<br />
Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(see schedules below)''' Its not gonna be flunk day. 1) its midterms 2) the food isn't here 3) in April 29th.<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main<br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, CFA & The Box <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
1:00 PM Baseball - Robert Morris - Springfield (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Softball - Eureka College (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Men's Tennis - Coe College Galesburg, IL <br><br />
4:00 PM Earth Month Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br><br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br><br />
6:00 PM Bike Repair Basics Knox Bike Shop <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br><br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
BUT ACTUALLY: 5am-midnight= FLUNK DAY. Meetings don't matter, clubs don't matter, sports don't matter (in 2010 the golf team got their phones taken away and were informed it was Flunk Day during an away tournament). DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP. No one is better at trolling than the Flunk Day planners. <--Confirmed<br />
<br />
`What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever?' persisted the King.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: `Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.<br />
<br />
`Unimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word sounded best.<br />
<br />
<br />
April 23rd- Kaitlyn looks outside worried and says she hopes it stops raining. ....maybe because she wants perfect weather for Flunk Day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
Driving on the interstate and spotted a replica NASA shuttle launch pad ride thing. This is clearly space themed thus flunk day related. Will check Holiday Inn parking lot and update later if more info. <---- off 74? Where? THIS COULD BE HUGE I WILL PERSONALLY CHECK ON THIS IF I CAN GET MORE INFO THANKS!<br />
<br />
Velociraptors seen running around wearing space helmets with Flunk written on them. Flunk day is tomorrow!!! <-- CONFIRMED <-- Jesus we're back on this shit about Velociraptors? Shit was funny two years ago. <--well someone's clearly lost the Flunk spirit, but no matter [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UVtlb8EJEkU/TuutKN1jp_I/AAAAAAAAA00/gRK1475go6c/s1600/OBrienDino.jpg]<-- Obviously the Velociraptor sightings are bullshit since they died out with the Final Flunk. What you actually saw were Miniature Giant Space Chickens from the planet Acheron. THE FLUNK IS ON!<-- its not quite that easy to kill a velociraptor<--Of course, you must be velociraptor to know that and survived by learning how to use technology.<br />
<br />
7:43pm overheard caf workers complaining about late night food prep for tomorrow's "big event" <-- THIS!!<br />
<br />
I haven't bought my stash yet! SOMEONE TAKE ME TO DISCOUNT I'M SCARED!!<br />
<br />
Senior John Cusimano spotted drunk already?! This could be huge!!-->Confirmed->> DOUBLE CONFIRMED LET'S ALL DRINK <-- John said his 'source' told him today will be Flunk Day <-its because he went out with liz woodyard and alums<br />
<br />
9:33 pm Jmaw Moses, president elect of the Knox College Choir, and leader extraordinaire in Sigma Chi told me that one of his brothers instrumental in planning Flunk Day said tomorrow is the best possibility.<br />
<br />
9:45 PM - The Quickie doors are locked. THIS COULD BE HUGE (or not, some things are just normal-sized)<== Goldie has to go to the bathroom like the rest of us. No panic necessary.<br />
9:50 PM - The Quickie reopened after a very short time (4 minutes 24 seconds, maybe?). Goldie says there's a sale on fifths of Jose Cuervo, and told me "it could be tomorrow," and "tomorrow is the best day" when I checked out.<br />
9:56pm: HyVee Wine and Spirits workers report a large influx of Knox students tonight. COULD IT BE?? <== CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
10:00PM- Schedule says Men's Tennis is playing Coe College; Coe's schedule says they are playing Wartburg.. Wartburg says they are playing Coe at home. HMMMMM?!<br />
<br />
10:04 PM- Seniors seen whispering in hallway in Hamblin. Do friars know who they are yet? Will they not know until Flunk Day? CAN ANYONE CONFIRM OR DENY THESE CLAIMS? <--- They told us we won't know til the morning of.<br />
<br />
10:07 PM Craig Southern seen dashing out of Campus Life office, papers in hand. Making way to Old Main in a hurry. <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<br />
<br />
Has anyone checked the mailroom recently?? They may slip up like they did a couple years ago! <<<---- There's glass doors this year, someone should stake out and wait...<br />
<br />
10:22 CONFRIMED!!! John Cusimano, Liz Woodyard and Alums (mysteriously visiting) running through the halls of hamblin clearly DRUNK WITH FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ON!!!! it's flunk day motherflunkers!!!! <-Chis Johnson visiting isn't mysterious <- yes it is <- no it isn't<br />
<br />
10:23 Ghost of Flunk Day Past to tell you it is FLUNK DAY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE <---CONFIRMED!!! I'm glad someone else remembers this!<br />
<br />
10:23 PM- Walter Palmer reports that tennis is still playing Coe at home because Coe is splitting their squad. In a related story, he also tells his incredibly loud neighbor to "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!"---> if the match was scheduled after they picked the Flunk day date, then it will be cancelled. THe FLunk stops for nothing!<br />
<br />
Walmart is out of Flunk jugs! The seniors know somethinggggggg! Also, now I have nothing to flunk out of... <--- Walmart ran out weeks ago. You must be a first year...<br />
<br />
10:31 FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!! faculty just got an e-mail<br />
<br />
10:41 PM: Goldie predicts that it will rain beer tomorrow! THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
'''LIL B SAYS IT'S FLUNK DAY BITCHESSSSSSSS'''<br />
[[File:<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5FYXbXu45AQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>]]<br />
<br />
Spotted: Potential friars at Duffy's. Regina Rosenbrock--known Flunk Day planner--declined the offer...she vaguely speaks of having "things to do..." Suspicious?<br />
<br />
UPDATE: REGINA JUST LEFT HER APARTMENT. I REPEAT, REGINA HAS LEFT. HER. APARTMENT. WHERE IS SHE GOING? <== AND KAITLYN ISN'T IN HER APARTMENT EITHER!<br />
<br />
Has anyone else realized all the dates are off right now? Today's the 23rd...<-- DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORKS <-- Confirmed <---FRESHMEN!!! haha you write things on the date you think it is going to be. <--- Incorrect. Look at past years. You write on the day that it IS, like a timeline...<<<<YOU DO FUCKING BOTH.....<=yeah, if you have info for a specific day you post there, or if you're logging events that took place today you do it here.<br />
<br />
10:53: Bethany Mariner re-sends flunk day work reschedules to Union Board workers!!<--CONFIRMED <--Has anyone seen her!?<br />
<br />
10:58pm:Senior Abe Eastman and friend of Regina seen leaving Post<br />
<br />
THE Matt Gordon SAYS tomorrow is FLUNK DAY. THIS IS HUGE<br />
<br />
THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. I REPEAT, THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. START DRINKING NOW <--- CONFIRMED!! <--- Pictures required for us plebeians that aren't RA's <--- take a screenshot! then TAKE A SHOT! <-- The RAs don't get previous knowledge of Flunk Day. Source: I'm an RA <--maybe they just don't like you and you're a bad ra? <-- Maybe we don't get to know because we're like every other student and want to have the blissful surprise of the Flunk Day fairies dancing in our dreams! <-- Why am I not in this secret society of RA's, I'm cool guys. <-- We're RAs. Probably meaning we're not "that" terribly cool.<br />
<br />
STUDENTS ABROAD GOT THE EMAIL. <- CONFIRMED I wish I was on campus. Have fun everyone! <---------- forrealdoe?<br />
<br />
Sources (the flunk day advisor) have confirmed that she had to go to a meeting for flunk day planning and flunk day is NOT the 24th!<--obviously a trick. Why would the flunk day advisor tell any student when Flunk day is?? <-- Jil Gates is gone! LIES! <-- There is NO LYING ON THE WIKIFIRE!<----CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
11:11 MAKE A WISH IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW<br />
<br />
Saw Regina walking in UB OFFICE!<-- CONFIRMED! I saw her too! Has anyone seen the other 3??<br />
<br />
11:25- Helmet seen carrying crates full of hot dog and hamburger buns through the loading dock of the caf <<<< CONFIRMED <<<<<<<< THIS IS HUGE<<<<<<PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN ... wait i totally saw hime when he stopped at the intersection of south and west to let me cross. AAHHHHHAHHAHAHAIfhsoH+OIHSFHSDF!!! its really flunk day! <--- Helmut has a tiny car, I remain unconvinced. <br />
<br />
11:47 Just saw a bouncy castle in a pick up truck in Walmart parking lot! <---Pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
11:55 Regina and Bethany have both liked a Knox Compliments status within the last 15 minutes. They are on Facebook. <---Holy shit, I'M ON FACEBOOK TOO, FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
11:57 seniors spotted at the mud pit <br />
<br />
11:59 NASA has received dozens of reports of UFOs traveling over the Galesburg area, put on your space hats and start drinking!<br />
<br />
12:00 AM [http://imgur.com/gallery/z7Vmd] Flunk Day kittehs confirm... its time to get drunk!<br />
<br />
Deleting my comments about the RA email? Flunk Day for sure tomorrow. Good game, everyone.<--gg wp <--- somebody also deleted my comment about [[bong]]s and [[beer]]. FLUNK FASCISTS<br />
<br />
== April 25 ==<br />
<br />
This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?<br />
<br />
It cannot be today as the Thursday before the concert is the Symphony move day and Pearl (da boss) has already submitted it to the school as a conflict date. Source: I work for her. <br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, CFA & The Box <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
4:00 PM Knox Model UN Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
4:15 PM Asian Student Association (ASA) Asian Cultural House <br><br />
5:00 PM Ballroom Dancing Club Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
5:15 PM Community Dinner @ Knox Prairie Community Kitchen (KPCK) Central Congregational Church, Galesburg, IL <br><br />
6:00 PM Lecture: "Is Spanish a Foreign Language?" by Gwen Kirkpatrick Alumni Room, Old Main <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:00 PM Earth Month Film Series Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
8:00 PM Jazz Night McGillacuddy's Restaurant, Galesburg <br><br />
8:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
9:00 PM Students Against Sexism in Society (SASS) Human Rights Center <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Conservatives Lobby, Post Hall <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Democrats Meeting Gizmo <br><br />
<br />
== April 26 ==<br />
<br />
Official Tim Kasser prediction.<br />
<br />
Admitted students day- Flunk will not be today. Unlikely to be day before because campus will be messed up for the prospies. <--- False. Admitted Students Day is this Friday (the 19th). CHECK YO EVENTS CALENDAR. <---CONFIRMED. April 26 is NOT an Admitted Students day. There are no more of them!<br />
<br />
Run-A-Thon- Flunk will not be today.<br />
<br />
Plus, Knox is making a big deal of the Earth Month activities for that weekend and they likely don't want the campus all messed up for that. <---Campus has been flunked up for bigger activities. If this day is not Flunk, it will more likely be because it is a Friday.<br />
<br />
The State Superintendent of Education is visiting campus today. Not a chance of Flunk. <---Confirmed. The Ed department told all the majors to look presentable in class.<br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br> <br />
8:30 AM Men's Tennis - MWC Team Championships Madison, WI <br> <br />
12:00 PM Men's Golf - Scot-Fire Invite - Soangetaha CC Galesburg, IL <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
3:00 PM Alpha Phi Omega's Run-A-Thon: The Dog Days Turner Track (indoor track if rain) <br><br />
4:00 PM Free Store Open Hours Basement, Conger-Neal <br><br />
4:00 PM The Edgar S. and Ruth W. Burkhardt Lecture in History Alumni Room, Old Main <br><br />
4:00 PM Outdoor Track and Field - Beloit Relays Beloit, WI <br><br />
7:00 PM APO Run-a-thon and Union Board: "101 Dalmatians" Movie on the Lawn Turner Track (rain: Fieldhouse) <br><br />
7:30 PM KGS Presents Bruce and "Old Friends" Piano Recital/Commentary Orpheum Theatre, Galesburg <br><br />
7:30 PM Knox New Plays Festival Harbach Theatre, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
7:30 PM Terpsichore to Attend AXIS Dance Performance Space Place Theatre, University of Iowa <br><br />
<br />
== April 29 ==<br />
<br />
The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.<br />
<br />
Word is the Baseball Gods and the Flunk Day Gods have been working in cahoots this year. After a long trip to and from Wisconsin on this weekend the combo of Gods have decided that this is the only viable option for Flunk Day. The scripture is written and so it shall be.<--Except for the fact a doubleheader vs. Loras was rescheduled to this day. Not gonna happen.<---AHA but there be hope yet. Loras still lists the Knox doubleheader as cancelled and has no games listed for the 29th. Eisele is trying to trick us but we shall not let him!<br />
<br />
There is a professor from California giving a lecture today.<br />
<br />
THIS IS THE LAST DAY THAT FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ARE ON SALE. SUSPICIOUS? FLUNKSPICIOUS?<br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
'''12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union''' <br><br />
3:00 PM Baseball - Loras College (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
4:30 PM Rugby Lawn, Quad's <br><br />
7:30 PM Lecture: "Unexpurgated Classics" by Amy Richlin Round Room, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] says that today is NOT flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<-- Its also like 300 other peoples 4th flunk day.<br />
<br />
== April 30 ==<br />
<br />
There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada?<br />
<br />
This is [[Max Potthoff]]'s birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Custodial Staff is predicting a late April , Early May Flunk Day! April 30 has to be Flunk Day<---------------'''This Could Be Huge!!!!!!''' <-- Certain Caf workers also informed me that they got the Menu for Flunk Day in the second week in April. They said that usually the day happens only a week or two after they receive the menu- placing it around the 4th week in April or April 30th.<br />
If its April 30th, its gonna make cinco de mayo the shit that sunday.<br />
<br />
Also who's got ideas about the flunk day stash?<br />
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Bottles_of_Canadian_Club_Whisky.JPG<br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Caxton Club: Brian Turner Alumni Room, Old Main <br><br />
4:00 PM Chess Club Meeting Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
7:00 PM Amnesty International Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] thinks that today might be flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<br />
<br />
This is the day I want it to be flunk day. Therefore, it will be flunk day.<br />
<br />
== May 1 ==<br />
<br />
FUCK YOU <<< THIS COULD BE HUGE <<< ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
'''<br />
'''<br />
== Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything.''' '''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' == (see schedules below)'''<br />
<br />
''All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br />
4:00 PM Zazen Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union<br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] predicts that today might be flunk day. Listen to the gospel of the Rup.<br />
<br />
== May 7 ==<br />
<br />
There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time?<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
3:30 PM Baseball - Millikin University (DH) Decatur, IL <br><br />
4:00 PM Chess Club Meeting Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:00 PM Amnesty International Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
<br />
<br />
[[File:Flunkkkkkkk.jpg]]<br />
<br />
FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW (AND MAY 7TH)<br />
<br />
I do not believe these emails. I do not believe them. I HOPE THE PERSON WHO MADE THEM DIES A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH.<-----Honestly this is pretty god damned impressive if you ask me. This could all be forged but this is one hell of an effort. (Humbled slow clapping)<---- ADMISSIONS never knows when the Flunk happens.<br />
<br />
(Logically, though, how would someone have gotten access to Scolange's email account?) <--- Well, while it might not be full access, you can generally access at least one of someones sent messages by first emailing them. After that, you might receive a sent message from them in your inbox regarding the message you sent. I know its only one message but its something. Sometimes you can respond to the message you received and get even more messages from them too!<br />
<br />
Prospies have been on campus before during Flunk day... doubtful that admissions knows the date.<-- Confirmed, admissions never knows the date.<br />
<br />
== May 8 ==<br />
<br />
Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day<br />
<br />
[[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]].<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Zazen Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br><br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br><br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
<br />
== May 9 ==<br />
<br />
JPow thinks Flunk Day is May 9. Just sayin'. <--JPow predicted that this was the Flunk Date LAST YEAR. He will prove to be incorrect again!<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Knox Model UN Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
4:15 PM Asian Student Association (ASA) Asian Cultural House <br><br />
5:00 PM Ballroom Dancing Club Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
5:15 PM Community Dinner @ Knox Prairie Community Kitchen (KPCK) Central Congregational Church, Galesburg, IL <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:30 PM Knox New Plays Festival Studio Theatre, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
8:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:00 PM Jazz Night McGillacuddy's Restaurant, Galesburg <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Conservatives Lobby, Post Hall <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Democrats Meeting Gizmo <br><br />
9:00 PM Students Against Sexism in Society (SASS) Human Rights Center <br><br />
<br />
== May 13 ==<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category: Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=26699Flunk Day 20132013-04-24T04:49:56Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 24 */</p>
<hr />
<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''December 19, 2012'''<br />
A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.<br />
<br />
'''March 4, 2013'''<br />
Roof falls off of Neal.<br />
<br />
'''March 5, 2013'''<br />
Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!<br />
<br />
'''March 15, 2013'''<br />
18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''March 27, 2013'''<br />
[[John Dooley]] says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.<br />
<br />
'''March 28, 2013'''<br />
Official [[Tim Kasser]] Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
8:04 p.m.: [[Kaitlyn Duling]] spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????<br />
<br />
'''March 29, 2013'''<br />
Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! [[Andrei Papancea]] might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member [[Arnold Salgado]] went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...<br />
<br />
'''April 20, 2013'''<br />
4:204:204:204:204:20LINCOLNFEST4:204:204:204:204:20<br />
The only day in recorded history Knox students were on time to anything.<br />
<br />
'''April 21, 2013'''<br />
IT'S DEFINITELY TOMORROW, RIGHT? Yeah. Totally.<br />
<br />
== Flunk Theme 2013 ==<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE.<br />
Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT. <br />
<br />
[[File:space_eel.jpg]]<br />
<br />
<br />
== Flunk Predictions ==<br />
<br />
Senior [[Anna Meier]] has a series on [[The Knox Student]]'s website to predict flunk day. You can follow that here: <br />
http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/<br />
<br />
Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/<br />
<br />
The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. <br />
"Things are moving fast on the Flunk front, which means the OSMFDP remains April 24." &mdash; Sam Martone (@s_martone) April 12, 2013<br />
<br />
== April 1 ==<br />
<br />
At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
== April 3 == <br />
All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.<br />
<br />
10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8 ==<br />
<br />
First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.<br />
<br />
The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.<br />
<br />
Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.<br />
<br />
== April 9 ==<br />
Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.<br />
<br />
The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 11 ==<br />
T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS. <br />
<br />
Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans. <br />
<br />
== April 14 ==<br />
10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic. <br />
<br />
== April 15 ==<br />
<br />
Regina and Kaitlyn were seen buying their flunk day stashes this weekend, FLUNK DAY IS THIS WEEK!<br />
^that wasn't Kaitlyn's Flunk day stash- that was her weekend stash.<br />
<br />
First day selling Flunk Day shirts!<br />
<br />
5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:<br />
<br />
"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk<br />
Bring us this day our daily dunk<br />
of righteous catharsis<br />
and nightmarish rhymes<br />
so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."<br />
<br />
6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!<br />
<br />
6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.<br />
<br />
7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!<br />
<br />
7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.<br />
<br />
7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?<br />
<br />
8:12pm: SPIES<br />
<br />
8:27pm -- I JUST REALIZED THAT THE SIGN UPS FOR FLUNK DAY FRIARS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED AND SO THAT MEANS THEY NEEDED TO KNOW ASAP WHICH MEANS THAT FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT IS AS SOON AS IT CAN BE WITHOUT INTERFERING WITH EARTH WEEK AHHHHHH START DRINKING! <-- Dude they haven't even had a chance to sell t-shirts or send out the safety e-mail... <+++++ SO!? THEY CAN SEND IT OUT ON THE DAY OF! THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR!! NO JIL GATES, NO SYSTEME!! ... Calm yerself. --> Flunk day isn't for awhile; no friars, shit weather, its too close to midterms<br />
<br />
8:41p. [[File:crazysheep.jpg]]<br />
<br />
'''Flunk day is not today'''<br />
<br />
But we did read this in an email from Deb Southern: <br />
<br />
"The clock is ticking . . . let’s make sure that we work together to ensure that future generations of Knox students will have the opportunity to experience Flunk Day."<br />
<br />
SAFETY EMAIL SENT OUT. The season of Flunk is upon us. <br />
<br />
10:48 p.m: A mysteriously large vehicle drove past the quads twice, shining its luminescent headlights across the buildings. SUSPICIOUS!<br />
<br />
== April 16 ==<br />
'''Dear Conger/Neal, <br />
WHY IS THERE NO FUCKING MUD PIT YET?!?! Flunk day is just around the corner and there is no progress. Step it up quads! Plus, the fact that it might rain again will make the digging easier and more fun.''' <br />
<br />
The famous Art Department Field Trip to Chicago that was scheduled for April 16 was mysteriously canceled on account of too few people signing up... riiiight...<br />
<br />
ALL THE SENIORS ARE CHANGING THEIR PROFILE PICTURES TO PICTURES OF FLUNK. FLUNK IS OBVIOUSLY UPON US.<br />
<br />
3:30 p.m: The Axis Dance Company workshops that were supposed to take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have been cancelled! Obviously Flunk day is Thursday! I mean, how many emails did YOU receive about signing up for it, and now its suddenly canceled!<br />
<br />
11:35pm: Suspicious yelling outside the Yellows. Seniors know all. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 17 ==<br />
It's a Wednesday. Suspicious.<br />
<br />
Heavy rains are forecasted today; along with perfect conditions for Mud Pit Digging. GET ON IT CONGER/NEAL! ASSEMBLE THE SHOVELS!<br />
NEAL 1. MAKE THE FUCKING MUDPIT. I'm talking to you, Mickey, Jodi, Stephanie, Ella, Katie, Britney, Becky and Savannah. Oh And Angie, it would help if you would MOTIVATE your residents, to do THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
^^^ who the fuck is Savannah?! #unansweredquestions #theflunkisuponus<br />
<br />
THE MUD PIT DIGGING HAS COMMENCED! Flunk day screamers, start your engines!! <--- CONFIRMED!! The storm gods know its flunk season!<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 19 ==<br />
Flunk Day did - once - occur on a Friday. Tony Gant reported having extremely hungover, severely sunburnt students the following Monday. <br />
<br />
Could 2013 be the year of FridayFlunk?<br />
<br />
Weather forecast calls for snow. Flunking in the snow? Sounds worse than last year in the rain..<br />
<br />
It's an Admitted Students day so it can't be today.<br />
<br />
12:00 a.m: RUMORS OF MUDPIT DIGGING TONIGHT!<br />
<br />
http://thewikifire.org/images/thumb/2/2b/FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png/180px-FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
'''THIS MUST NEVER DIE'''<br />
Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox. The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care, In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of mud pits danced in their heads. And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash, Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew in a flash, Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds. When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say, I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day! More rapid than eagles, the friars they came, They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name! Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame! To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main! Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
== April 22 ==<br />
<br />
Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling gets a glimmer of fear in her eyes every time someone mentions Meatless Monday. <----SUSPICIOUS.<br />
<br />
Craig Southern spotted on campus several times this weekend.... making sure everything goes well for a Monday Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
Upper Classmen seen at Hyvee buying their Flunk Day stash!--->CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Good weather predicted. No athletic events. Seniors have made all necessary flunk day stash procurements.<br />
<br />
SPOTTED: Regina and Craig Southern at the Landmark. Making final preparations undoubtedly. ---> WHAT TIME?!-> 8:30!<br />
<br />
One of my senior housemates just disappeared and can't be reached. This is unusual. Friar?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't a meatless Flunk Day be SO KNOX? Is there even meat in space? <--- Only freeze dried. If they want it to truly be Space Flunk, there will be no meat. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
8:31pm: Craig Southern spotted in Gizmo, paused in line, and exited. Last minute Flunk Day planning?<br />
<br />
10:17pm >>>>Confirmed reports cite seeing Craig Southern on the telephone in his office around 10:00pm. >>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <<<NOPE! Interviewing campus life position<br />
<br />
10:17pm: BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKK SQQQQQQQUUUUUAAAAAADDDDDDD<br />
<br />
<br />
10:20 Who has tabs on Regina and Kaitlyn? COULD FLUNK DAY BE TOMORROW?!<br />
<br />
10:29 Lights on in the mailroom! Someone keep watch!<br />
<br />
Matthew Becker, one of last years friars, was on campus this weekend. Supposed to be leaving Monday. Why not Sunday? Something's Flunky!<br />
<br />
Three students in Tompkins were just informed by Kathleen Drake that tomorrow is el Dia de Flunk! Should we start drinking now??<br />
<br />
10:45 Kaitlyn's cover photo has turned to Flunk.<br />
<br />
10:57PM: Andrei Papancea looks unusually chipper doing his homework tonight... Sign of Flunk Day in the air?<br />
<br />
11:03 Three Seniors seen with booze and air horns. Are they Friars? >>>>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:12 Strange animal noises coming from Tompkins. Tomorrow is Flunk <<<<< CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
11:14 Senate president Mike Gasparro changed his profile pic to FLUNKING with Senior class president Justin Steele in it!!! Coincidence? I think not!!!! he has to know <<- THIS COULD BE HUGE!! >>>>>CONFIRMED<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:20 Bethany Marinier leaves the townhouses suspiciously, refuses to answer questions as to where she's going <<< Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:24 Jil Gates, former Master of Fun and Flunk Goddess changed her cover photo to a picture from Flunk Day 2011. She definitely knows that tomorrow's the Flunk.<--- SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE! <--- You think the planners wouldn't invite her to Flunk with us?!!?!? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
11:27pm There are barely any people in the library.....the flunk is all around us. <<<-CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
It has be said that the flunk shipment arrived friday, they can't it for too long. Flunk day is tomorrow. <---- Shipment could also have been for the Lincolnfest picnic. The caf gets shipments every single day. Doesn't mean anything.<br />
<br />
The old flunk day twitter is in denial. Why so eager to say there's no flunk? Suspicious. <<<- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
No one thinks it's Flunk Day tomorrow.....ergo, Flunk Day is tomorrow! <------ CONFIRMED <----------- Flunk while no one is looking, stay vigilant Knox<br />
<br />
11:30 pm Bethany Mariner and Andrei Papancea are spotted hurrying into the Gizmo. Flunk is afoot...<br />
<br />
11:45 I see a new Flunk Day Song. Found from a status on Facebook: <br />
I believe I can flunk. <br />
I believe I can flunk this year! <br />
I think about it every night and day. <br />
Pour a drink and flunk away! <br />
I believe I can flunk!!!! <br />
I see me running through Old Main's lawn. <br />
I believe I can flunk :-)<br />
<br />
11:57pm: Matt J has a court date at 10:30 on April 22nd, it's totally Flunk Day. <-- I don't know if this is CONFIRMED but either way THIS IS HUGE. <--- CONFIRMED, I got pulled over with him in Peoria, they thought we were running drugs back to Galesburg, but in reality we had gone to Culver's and cashed his paycheck. <br />
<br />
11:59p.m: Regina Rosenbrock spotted sealing her eyes shut with neon puffy paint. Flunk? <-- Why would you seal your eyes with puffy paint if the greatest day of the year is coming up? Should be lining them and making them stay open! For all the Flunking!<br />
<br />
12:03am: Renowned former Knox attendee, [[Alicia Niles]] seriously considers buying a 7am train ticket as Flunksurance, THIS COULD BE HUGE <-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUFT35S7Jb4<br />
<br />
12:31 AM: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS <--- When the Dark Lords of Flunk evoke the ghost of Lincoln, times are desperate.<-- You guys keep this up, and Lincoln's ghost will come down and destroy Flunk Day. Don't provoke the 16th President. <-- "If you're a racist I will attack you with the North." - Abraham Lincoln - Michael Scott<br />
<br />
1:56 AM: Kaity HutchCroft posted a picture of people digging the mudpit on Instagram!!!! Possibilities of flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 23 ==<br />
4:32 PM: Andrei has purchased an air horn. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
5:47 PM: .......it begins.......<br />
<br />
6:30 PM: Andrei Papancea spotted at Walmart looking at what seems to be a large, glass vessel... This could be huge.<br />
[[File:vessel.png]]<br />
<br />
10:26 PM: Nice little four hour break for a pre Flunk Day posting session. Way to go WikiFire. <-- I don't know whether to be suspicious or disappointed.<br />
<br />
11:30 PM: Flunk day must be tomorrow because it is the only day I have classes. Also, Andrei was not at chapter the other day. He was probably out coordinating things last minute...<br />
<br />
Alumni friend messaged and said she heard it was this day....<br />
<br />
12:03 AM: I'M ALDUS SNOW. BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT. <-------CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
Suspicious Facebook event for Alumni Flunk Day today and Wednesday? Hmm... <------- Those are never relevant to the actual flunk day, get with it!<br />
<br />
1:06 AM: LOUD NOISES HEARD NEAR THE SOCCER FIELD. PROBABLY SOME FORM OF TRAIN. <----- Thank you. For real. This brought a smile to face that needed it. Flunk on, my friends, flunk until the Earth stops spinning.<br />
<br />
1:48 AM: Goldie said he didn't see any unusual people buying unusually large quantities of alcohol. He thinks it's too early for Flunk Day. But the Soviets thought it was too early to put a person on the moon in '69 and we gave the doubters some permanent footprints and a perpetually mid-wave flag on the lunar surface. SPACE FLUNK. <---- No one buys Flunk Day stashes from the Quickie!<br />
<br />
== April 24 ==<br />
<br />
Kathy in the caf said that she hasn't started preparing the Flunk Day baked goods yet, and she usually starts a few days before Flunk. Her guess is that Flunk Day will be sometime next week.<br />
<br />
Josh Hosmer-Quint asked Kaitlin Duling if Flunk Day is gonna be this upcoming Wednesday. She winked at him. <br />
Seems legit. <--- NOT LEGIT. NOT CONFIRMED. Just because she winked at him DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GONNA BE FLUNK DAY. <--- Yeah! Kaitlyn Duling winks at everybody. REAL NICE PREDICTION YOU HAVE THERE. <--- I so agree with you. I wish people would stop posting jokes on the WikiFire. I actually want to know when Flunk Day is going to be. <--- Confirmed. Some people are serious students and actually need to know for their planning. <--- I KNOWWWW. <--- Yeah, people seriously need to stop trolling. <---but the WikiFire is troll central. It's part of the fun. DO YOU EVEN GO HERE <--- Look, referencing The Breakfast Club doesn't make you look smarter. Editing The Wiki Fire doesn't make you more clever. And trolling me definitely isn't gonna stop me from beating you. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. <--- Well that escalated quickly. <--- not really... <--- Ain't nobody got time this.<br />
<br />
^^^FOR THE SAKE OF THE ABOVE, LET IT BE FLUNK ON THIS DAY. Have you people lost the spirit entirely? Or are you first years who know no better? Flunk Day is not about planning. Flunk Day is not about being a serious student. Why else would they put FLUNK in the title? FLUNK your planners, FLUNK your regular lives, FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK. THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED. <--- can we all stop replacing "fuck" for "flunk?" it makes us all sound like Christian Bible Camp team leaders or something. Would you actually say "Flunk you" out loud trying to be funny? my guess is no... <---"flunk you" in response to this. <-- SERIOUSLY? Who are you people? FLUNK DAY IS THE GREATEST OF DAYS. Stop the negativity and FLUNK<br />
<br />
<br />
'''<br />
Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(see schedules below)''' Its not gonna be flunk day. 1) its midterms 2) the food isn't here 3) in April 29th.<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main<br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, CFA & The Box <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
1:00 PM Baseball - Robert Morris - Springfield (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Softball - Eureka College (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Men's Tennis - Coe College Galesburg, IL <br><br />
4:00 PM Earth Month Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br><br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br><br />
6:00 PM Bike Repair Basics Knox Bike Shop <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br><br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
BUT ACTUALLY: 5am-midnight= FLUNK DAY. Meetings don't matter, clubs don't matter, sports don't matter (in 2010 the golf team got their phones taken away and were informed it was Flunk Day during an away tournament). DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP. No one is better at trolling than the Flunk Day planners. <--Confirmed<br />
<br />
`What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever?' persisted the King.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: `Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.<br />
<br />
`Unimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word sounded best.<br />
<br />
<br />
April 23rd- Kaitlyn looks outside worried and says she hopes it stops raining. ....maybe because she wants perfect weather for Flunk Day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
Driving on the interstate and spotted a replica NASA shuttle launch pad ride thing. This is clearly space themed thus flunk day related. Will check Holiday Inn parking lot and update later if more info. <---- off 74? Where? THIS COULD BE HUGE I WILL PERSONALLY CHECK ON THIS IF I CAN GET MORE INFO THANKS!<br />
<br />
Velociraptors seen running around wearing space helmets with Flunk written on them. Flunk day is tomorrow!!! <-- CONFIRMED <-- Jesus we're back on this shit about Velociraptors? Shit was funny two years ago. <--well someone's clearly lost the Flunk spirit, but no matter [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UVtlb8EJEkU/TuutKN1jp_I/AAAAAAAAA00/gRK1475go6c/s1600/OBrienDino.jpg]<-- Obviously the Velociraptor sightings are bullshit since they died out with the Final Flunk. What you actually saw were Miniature Giant Space Chickens from the planet Acheron. THE FLUNK IS ON!<-- its not quite that easy to kill a velociraptor<--Of course, you must be velociraptor to know that and survived by learning how to use technology.<br />
<br />
7:43pm overheard caf workers complaining about late night food prep for tomorrow's "big event" <-- THIS!!<br />
<br />
I haven't bought my stash yet! SOMEONE TAKE ME TO DISCOUNT I'M SCARED!!<br />
<br />
Senior John Cusimano spotted drunk already?! This could be huge!!-->Confirmed->> DOUBLE CONFIRMED LET'S ALL DRINK <-- John said his 'source' told him today will be Flunk Day <-its because he went out with liz woodyard and alums<br />
<br />
9:33 pm Jmaw Moses, president elect of the Knox College Choir, and leader extraordinaire in Sigma Chi told me that one of his brothers instrumental in planning Flunk Day said tomorrow is the best possibility.<br />
<br />
9:45 PM - The Quickie doors are locked. THIS COULD BE HUGE (or not, some things are just normal-sized)<== Goldie has to go to the bathroom like the rest of us. No panic necessary.<br />
9:50 PM - The Quickie reopened after a very short time (4 minutes 24 seconds, maybe?). Goldie says there's a sale on fifths of Jose Cuervo, and told me "it could be tomorrow," and "tomorrow is the best day" when I checked out.<br />
9:56pm: HyVee Wine and Spirits workers report a large influx of Knox students tonight. COULD IT BE?? <== CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
10:00PM- Schedule says Men's Tennis is playing Coe College; Coe's schedule says they are playing Wartburg.. Wartburg says they are playing Coe at home. HMMMMM?!<br />
<br />
10:04 PM- Seniors seen whispering in hallway in Hamblin. Do friars know who they are yet? Will they not know until Flunk Day? CAN ANYONE CONFIRM OR DENY THESE CLAIMS? <--- They told us we won't know til the morning of.<br />
<br />
10:07 PM Craig Southern seen dashing out of Campus Life office, papers in hand. Making way to Old Main in a hurry. <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<br />
<br />
Has anyone checked the mailroom recently?? They may slip up like they did a couple years ago! <<<---- There's glass doors this year, someone should stake out and wait...<br />
<br />
10:22 CONFRIMED!!! John Cusimano, Liz Woodyard and Alums (mysteriously visiting) running through the halls of hamblin clearly DRUNK WITH FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ON!!!! it's flunk day motherflunkers!!!! <-Chis Johnson visiting isn't mysterious <- yes it is <- no it isn't<br />
<br />
10:23 Ghost of Flunk Day Past to tell you it is FLUNK DAY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE <---CONFIRMED!!! I'm glad someone else remembers this!<br />
<br />
10:23 PM- Walter Palmer reports that tennis is still playing Coe at home because Coe is splitting their squad. In a related story, he also tells his incredibly loud neighbor to "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!"---> if the match was scheduled after they picked the Flunk day date, then it will be cancelled. THe FLunk stops for nothing!<br />
<br />
Walmart is out of Flunk jugs! The seniors know somethinggggggg! Also, now I have nothing to flunk out of... <--- Walmart ran out weeks ago. You must be a first year...<br />
<br />
10:31 FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!! faculty just got an e-mail<br />
<br />
10:41 PM: Goldie predicts that it will rain beer tomorrow! THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
'''LIL B SAYS IT'S FLUNK DAY BITCHESSSSSSSS'''<br />
[[File:<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5FYXbXu45AQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>]]<br />
<br />
Spotted: Potential friars at Duffy's. Regina Rosenbrock--known Flunk Day planner--declined the offer...she vaguely speaks of having "things to do..." Suspicious?<br />
<br />
UPDATE: REGINA JUST LEFT HER APARTMENT. I REPEAT, REGINA HAS LEFT. HER. APARTMENT. WHERE IS SHE GOING? <== AND KAITLYN ISN'T IN HER APARTMENT EITHER!<br />
<br />
Has anyone else realized all the dates are off right now? Today's the 23rd...<-- DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORKS <-- Confirmed <---FRESHMEN!!! haha you write things on the date you think it is going to be. <--- Incorrect. Look at past years. You write on the day that it IS, like a timeline...<<<<YOU DO FUCKING BOTH.....<=yeah, if you have info for a specific day you post there, or if you're logging events that took place today you do it here.<br />
<br />
10:53: Bethany Mariner re-sends flunk day work reschedules to Union Board workers!!<--CONFIRMED <--Has anyone seen her!?<br />
<br />
10:58pm:Senior Abe Eastman and friend of Regina seen leaving Post<br />
<br />
THE Matt Gordon SAYS tomorrow is FLUNK DAY. THIS IS HUGE<br />
<br />
THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. I REPEAT, THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. START DRINKING NOW <--- CONFIRMED!! <--- Pictures required for us plebeians that aren't RA's <--- take a screenshot! then TAKE A SHOT! <-- The RAs don't get previous knowledge of Flunk Day. Source: I'm an RA <--maybe they just don't like you and you're a bad ra? <-- Maybe we don't get to know because we're like every other student and want to have the blissful surprise of the Flunk Day fairies dancing in our dreams! <-- Why am I not in this secret society of RA's, I'm cool guys.<br />
<br />
**THE PHOTO WAS POSTED AND REMOVED WITHIN 5 MINUTES. CONSPIRACY. FLUNK DAY IS AFOOT.<br />
<br />
STUDENTS ABROAD GOT THE EMAIL. <- CONFIRMED I wish I was on campus. Have fun everyone! <---------- forrealdoe?<br />
<br />
Sources (the flunk day advisor) have confirmed that she had to go to a meeting for flunk day planning and flunk day is NOT the 24th!<--obviously a trick. Why would the flunk day advisor tell any student when Flunk day is?? <-- Jil Gates is gone! LIES! <-- There is NO LYING ON THE WIKIFIRE!<----CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
11:11 MAKE A WISH IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW<br />
<br />
Saw Regina walking in UB OFFICE!<-- CONFIRMED! I saw her too! Has anyone seen the other 3??<br />
<br />
11:25- Helmet seen carrying crates full of hot dog and hamburger buns through the loading dock of the caf <<<< CONFIRMED <<<<<<<< THIS IS HUGE<<<<<<PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN ... wait i totally saw hime when he stopped at the intersection of south and west to let me cross. AAHHHHHAHHAHAHAIfhsoH+OIHSFHSDF!!! its really flunk day! <--- Helmut has a tiny car, I remain unconvinced. <br />
<br />
11:34PM- Reports indicate that Abe Eastman demanded the RA email be taken off the wikifire site. Do not question this fact. FLUNK IS TOMORROW<--DAMN SENIOR, THIS IS HUGE!<<<--THE MUD PIT MUST BE DUG TONIGHT <--- [[Pabst Blue Ribbon]] and [[Bong]]s<br />
<br />
<br />
11:47 Just saw a bouncy castle in a pick up truck in Walmart parking lot!<br />
<br />
== April 25 ==<br />
<br />
This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?<br />
<br />
It cannot be today as the Thursday before the concert is the Symphony move day and Pearl (da boss) has already submitted it to the school as a conflict date. Source: I work for her. <br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, CFA & The Box <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
4:00 PM Knox Model UN Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
4:15 PM Asian Student Association (ASA) Asian Cultural House <br><br />
5:00 PM Ballroom Dancing Club Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
5:15 PM Community Dinner @ Knox Prairie Community Kitchen (KPCK) Central Congregational Church, Galesburg, IL <br><br />
6:00 PM Lecture: "Is Spanish a Foreign Language?" by Gwen Kirkpatrick Alumni Room, Old Main <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:00 PM Earth Month Film Series Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
8:00 PM Jazz Night McGillacuddy's Restaurant, Galesburg <br><br />
8:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
9:00 PM Students Against Sexism in Society (SASS) Human Rights Center <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Conservatives Lobby, Post Hall <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Democrats Meeting Gizmo <br><br />
<br />
== April 26 ==<br />
<br />
Official Tim Kasser prediction.<br />
<br />
Admitted students day- Flunk will not be today. Unlikely to be day before because campus will be messed up for the prospies. <--- False. Admitted Students Day is this Friday (the 19th). CHECK YO EVENTS CALENDAR. <---CONFIRMED. April 26 is NOT an Admitted Students day. There are no more of them!<br />
<br />
Run-A-Thon- Flunk will not be today.<br />
<br />
Plus, Knox is making a big deal of the Earth Month activities for that weekend and they likely don't want the campus all messed up for that. <---Campus has been flunked up for bigger activities. If this day is not Flunk, it will more likely be because it is a Friday.<br />
<br />
The State Superintendent of Education is visiting campus today. Not a chance of Flunk. <---Confirmed. The Ed department told all the majors to look presentable in class.<br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br> <br />
8:30 AM Men's Tennis - MWC Team Championships Madison, WI <br> <br />
12:00 PM Men's Golf - Scot-Fire Invite - Soangetaha CC Galesburg, IL <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
3:00 PM Alpha Phi Omega's Run-A-Thon: The Dog Days Turner Track (indoor track if rain) <br><br />
4:00 PM Free Store Open Hours Basement, Conger-Neal <br><br />
4:00 PM The Edgar S. and Ruth W. Burkhardt Lecture in History Alumni Room, Old Main <br><br />
4:00 PM Outdoor Track and Field - Beloit Relays Beloit, WI <br><br />
7:00 PM APO Run-a-thon and Union Board: "101 Dalmatians" Movie on the Lawn Turner Track (rain: Fieldhouse) <br><br />
7:30 PM KGS Presents Bruce and "Old Friends" Piano Recital/Commentary Orpheum Theatre, Galesburg <br><br />
7:30 PM Knox New Plays Festival Harbach Theatre, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
7:30 PM Terpsichore to Attend AXIS Dance Performance Space Place Theatre, University of Iowa <br><br />
<br />
== April 29 ==<br />
<br />
The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.<br />
<br />
Word is the Baseball Gods and the Flunk Day Gods have been working in cahoots this year. After a long trip to and from Wisconsin on this weekend the combo of Gods have decided that this is the only viable option for Flunk Day. The scripture is written and so it shall be.<--Except for the fact a doubleheader vs. Loras was rescheduled to this day. Not gonna happen.<---AHA but there be hope yet. Loras still lists the Knox doubleheader as cancelled and has no games listed for the 29th. Eisele is trying to trick us but we shall not let him!<br />
<br />
There is a professor from California giving a lecture today.<br />
<br />
THIS IS THE LAST DAY THAT FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ARE ON SALE. SUSPICIOUS? FLUNKSPICIOUS?<br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
'''12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union''' <br><br />
3:00 PM Baseball - Loras College (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
4:30 PM Rugby Lawn, Quad's <br><br />
7:30 PM Lecture: "Unexpurgated Classics" by Amy Richlin Round Room, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] says that today is NOT flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<-- Its also like 300 other peoples 4th flunk day.<br />
<br />
== April 30 ==<br />
<br />
There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada?<br />
<br />
This is [[Max Potthoff]]'s birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Custodial Staff is predicting a late April , Early May Flunk Day! April 30 has to be Flunk Day<---------------'''This Could Be Huge!!!!!!''' <-- Certain Caf workers also informed me that they got the Menu for Flunk Day in the second week in April. They said that usually the day happens only a week or two after they receive the menu- placing it around the 4th week in April or April 30th.<br />
If its April 30th, its gonna make cinco de mayo the shit that sunday.<br />
<br />
Also who's got ideas about the flunk day stash?<br />
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Bottles_of_Canadian_Club_Whisky.JPG<br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Caxton Club: Brian Turner Alumni Room, Old Main <br><br />
4:00 PM Chess Club Meeting Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
7:00 PM Amnesty International Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] thinks that today might be flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<br />
<br />
This is the day I want it to be flunk day. Therefore, it will be flunk day.<br />
<br />
== May 1 ==<br />
<br />
FUCK YOU <<< THIS COULD BE HUGE <<< ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
'''<br />
'''<br />
== Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything.''' '''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' == (see schedules below)'''<br />
<br />
''All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br />
4:00 PM Zazen Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union<br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] predicts that today might be flunk day. Listen to the gospel of the Rup.<br />
<br />
== May 7 ==<br />
<br />
There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time?<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
3:30 PM Baseball - Millikin University (DH) Decatur, IL <br><br />
4:00 PM Chess Club Meeting Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:00 PM Amnesty International Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
<br />
<br />
[[File:Flunkkkkkkk.jpg]]<br />
<br />
FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW (AND MAY 7TH)<br />
<br />
I do not believe these emails. I do not believe them. I HOPE THE PERSON WHO MADE THEM DIES A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH.<-----Honestly this is pretty god damned impressive if you ask me. This could all be forged but this is one hell of an effort. (Humbled slow clapping)<---- ADMISSIONS never knows when the Flunk happens.<br />
<br />
(Logically, though, how would someone have gotten access to Scolange's email account?) <--- Well, while it might not be full access, you can generally access at least one of someones sent messages by first emailing them. After that, you might receive a sent message from them in your inbox regarding the message you sent. I know its only one message but its something. Sometimes you can respond to the message you received and get even more messages from them too!<br />
<br />
Prospies have been on campus before during Flunk day... doubtful that admissions knows the date.<-- Confirmed, admissions never knows the date.<br />
<br />
== May 8 ==<br />
<br />
Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day<br />
<br />
[[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]].<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Zazen Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br><br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br><br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
<br />
== May 9 ==<br />
<br />
JPow thinks Flunk Day is May 9. Just sayin'. <--JPow predicted that this was the Flunk Date LAST YEAR. He will prove to be incorrect again!<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Knox Model UN Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
4:15 PM Asian Student Association (ASA) Asian Cultural House <br><br />
5:00 PM Ballroom Dancing Club Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
5:15 PM Community Dinner @ Knox Prairie Community Kitchen (KPCK) Central Congregational Church, Galesburg, IL <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:30 PM Knox New Plays Festival Studio Theatre, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
8:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:00 PM Jazz Night McGillacuddy's Restaurant, Galesburg <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Conservatives Lobby, Post Hall <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Democrats Meeting Gizmo <br><br />
9:00 PM Students Against Sexism in Society (SASS) Human Rights Center <br><br />
<br />
== May 13 ==<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category: Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Beer&diff=26696Beer2013-04-24T04:46:47Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* See also: */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Keystone Light]] is Knox's most popular beer and Knox county's cheapest. However, individual cans of Icehouse may be acquired for 79 cents at the [[Quickie]]. Both Keystone Light and its slightly more potent cousin, Keystone Ice, taste like [[piss]]. <br />
<br />
Keystone Light's mortal enemy is [[Pabst Blue Ribbon]], colloquially known as [[PBR]]. PBR is not bad if it's cold.<br />
<br />
==See also:==<br />
*[[Power Hour]]<br />
*[[Century Club]]<br />
*[[Bong]]<br />
*[[Camel Lights]]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Drinking]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=26659Flunk Day 20132013-04-24T04:02:08Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 24 */</p>
<hr />
<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''December 19, 2012'''<br />
A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.<br />
<br />
'''March 4, 2013'''<br />
Roof falls off of Neal.<br />
<br />
'''March 5, 2013'''<br />
Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!<br />
<br />
'''March 15, 2013'''<br />
18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''March 27, 2013'''<br />
[[John Dooley]] says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.<br />
<br />
'''March 28, 2013'''<br />
Official [[Tim Kasser]] Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
8:04 p.m.: [[Kaitlyn Duling]] spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????<br />
<br />
'''March 29, 2013'''<br />
Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! [[Andrei Papancea]] might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member [[Arnold Salgado]] went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...<br />
<br />
'''April 20, 2013'''<br />
4:204:204:204:204:20LINCOLNFEST4:204:204:204:204:20<br />
The only day in recorded history Knox students were on time to anything.<br />
<br />
'''April 21, 2013'''<br />
IT'S DEFINITELY TOMORROW, RIGHT? Yeah. Totally.<br />
<br />
== Flunk Theme 2013 ==<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE.<br />
Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT. <br />
<br />
[[File:space_eel.jpg]]<br />
<br />
<br />
== Flunk Predictions ==<br />
<br />
Senior [[Anna Meier]] has a series on [[The Knox Student]]'s website to predict flunk day. You can follow that here: <br />
http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/<br />
<br />
Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/<br />
<br />
The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. <br />
"Things are moving fast on the Flunk front, which means the OSMFDP remains April 24." &mdash; Sam Martone (@s_martone) April 12, 2013<br />
<br />
== April 1 ==<br />
<br />
At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
== April 3 == <br />
All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.<br />
<br />
10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8 ==<br />
<br />
First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.<br />
<br />
The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.<br />
<br />
Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.<br />
<br />
== April 9 ==<br />
Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.<br />
<br />
The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 11 ==<br />
T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS. <br />
<br />
Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans. <br />
<br />
== April 14 ==<br />
10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic. <br />
<br />
== April 15 ==<br />
<br />
Regina and Kaitlyn were seen buying their flunk day stashes this weekend, FLUNK DAY IS THIS WEEK!<br />
^that wasn't Kaitlyn's Flunk day stash- that was her weekend stash.<br />
<br />
First day selling Flunk Day shirts!<br />
<br />
5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:<br />
<br />
"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk<br />
Bring us this day our daily dunk<br />
of righteous catharsis<br />
and nightmarish rhymes<br />
so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."<br />
<br />
6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!<br />
<br />
6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.<br />
<br />
7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!<br />
<br />
7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.<br />
<br />
7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?<br />
<br />
8:12pm: SPIES<br />
<br />
8:27pm -- I JUST REALIZED THAT THE SIGN UPS FOR FLUNK DAY FRIARS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED AND SO THAT MEANS THEY NEEDED TO KNOW ASAP WHICH MEANS THAT FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT IS AS SOON AS IT CAN BE WITHOUT INTERFERING WITH EARTH WEEK AHHHHHH START DRINKING! <-- Dude they haven't even had a chance to sell t-shirts or send out the safety e-mail... <+++++ SO!? THEY CAN SEND IT OUT ON THE DAY OF! THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR!! NO JIL GATES, NO SYSTEME!! ... Calm yerself. --> Flunk day isn't for awhile; no friars, shit weather, its too close to midterms<br />
<br />
8:41p. [[File:crazysheep.jpg]]<br />
<br />
'''Flunk day is not today'''<br />
<br />
But we did read this in an email from Deb Southern: <br />
<br />
"The clock is ticking . . . let’s make sure that we work together to ensure that future generations of Knox students will have the opportunity to experience Flunk Day."<br />
<br />
SAFETY EMAIL SENT OUT. The season of Flunk is upon us. <br />
<br />
10:48 p.m: A mysteriously large vehicle drove past the quads twice, shining its luminescent headlights across the buildings. SUSPICIOUS!<br />
<br />
== April 16 ==<br />
'''Dear Conger/Neal, <br />
WHY IS THERE NO FUCKING MUD PIT YET?!?! Flunk day is just around the corner and there is no progress. Step it up quads! Plus, the fact that it might rain again will make the digging easier and more fun.''' <br />
<br />
The famous Art Department Field Trip to Chicago that was scheduled for April 16 was mysteriously canceled on account of too few people signing up... riiiight...<br />
<br />
ALL THE SENIORS ARE CHANGING THEIR PROFILE PICTURES TO PICTURES OF FLUNK. FLUNK IS OBVIOUSLY UPON US.<br />
<br />
3:30 p.m: The Axis Dance Company workshops that were supposed to take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have been cancelled! Obviously Flunk day is Thursday! I mean, how many emails did YOU receive about signing up for it, and now its suddenly canceled!<br />
<br />
11:35pm: Suspicious yelling outside the Yellows. Seniors know all. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 17 ==<br />
It's a Wednesday. Suspicious.<br />
<br />
Heavy rains are forecasted today; along with perfect conditions for Mud Pit Digging. GET ON IT CONGER/NEAL! ASSEMBLE THE SHOVELS!<br />
NEAL 1. MAKE THE FUCKING MUDPIT. I'm talking to you, Mickey, Jodi, Stephanie, Ella, Katie, Britney, Becky and Savannah. Oh And Angie, it would help if you would MOTIVATE your residents, to do THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
^^^ who the fuck is Savannah?! #unansweredquestions #theflunkisuponus<br />
<br />
THE MUD PIT DIGGING HAS COMMENCED! Flunk day screamers, start your engines!! <--- CONFIRMED!! The storm gods know its flunk season!<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 19 ==<br />
Flunk Day did - once - occur on a Friday. Tony Gant reported having extremely hungover, severely sunburnt students the following Monday. <br />
<br />
Could 2013 be the year of FridayFlunk?<br />
<br />
Weather forecast calls for snow. Flunking in the snow? Sounds worse than last year in the rain..<br />
<br />
It's an Admitted Students day so it can't be today.<br />
<br />
12:00 a.m: RUMORS OF MUDPIT DIGGING TONIGHT!<br />
<br />
http://thewikifire.org/images/thumb/2/2b/FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png/180px-FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
'''THIS MUST NEVER DIE'''<br />
Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox. The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care, In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of mud pits danced in their heads. And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash, Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew in a flash, Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds. When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say, I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day! More rapid than eagles, the friars they came, They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name! Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame! To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main! Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
== April 22 ==<br />
<br />
Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling gets a glimmer of fear in her eyes every time someone mentions Meatless Monday. <----SUSPICIOUS.<br />
<br />
Craig Southern spotted on campus several times this weekend.... making sure everything goes well for a Monday Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
Upper Classmen seen at Hyvee buying their Flunk Day stash!--->CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Good weather predicted. No athletic events. Seniors have made all necessary flunk day stash procurements.<br />
<br />
SPOTTED: Regina and Craig Southern at the Landmark. Making final preparations undoubtedly. ---> WHAT TIME?!-> 8:30!<br />
<br />
One of my senior housemates just disappeared and can't be reached. This is unusual. Friar?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't a meatless Flunk Day be SO KNOX? Is there even meat in space? <--- Only freeze dried. If they want it to truly be Space Flunk, there will be no meat. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
8:31pm: Craig Southern spotted in Gizmo, paused in line, and exited. Last minute Flunk Day planning?<br />
<br />
10:17pm >>>>Confirmed reports cite seeing Craig Southern on the telephone in his office around 10:00pm. >>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <<<NOPE! Interviewing campus life position<br />
<br />
10:17pm: BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKK SQQQQQQQUUUUUAAAAAADDDDDDD<br />
<br />
<br />
10:20 Who has tabs on Regina and Kaitlyn? COULD FLUNK DAY BE TOMORROW?!<br />
<br />
10:29 Lights on in the mailroom! Someone keep watch!<br />
<br />
Matthew Becker, one of last years friars, was on campus this weekend. Supposed to be leaving Monday. Why not Sunday? Something's Flunky!<br />
<br />
Three students in Tompkins were just informed by Kathleen Drake that tomorrow is el Dia de Flunk! Should we start drinking now??<br />
<br />
10:45 Kaitlyn's cover photo has turned to Flunk.<br />
<br />
10:57PM: Andrei Papancea looks unusually chipper doing his homework tonight... Sign of Flunk Day in the air?<br />
<br />
11:03 Three Seniors seen with booze and air horns. Are they Friars? >>>>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:12 Strange animal noises coming from Tompkins. Tomorrow is Flunk <<<<< CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
11:14 Senate president Mike Gasparro changed his profile pic to FLUNKING with Senior class president Justin Steele in it!!! Coincidence? I think not!!!! he has to know <<- THIS COULD BE HUGE!! >>>>>CONFIRMED<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:20 Bethany Marinier leaves the townhouses suspiciously, refuses to answer questions as to where she's going <<< Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:24 Jil Gates, former Master of Fun and Flunk Goddess changed her cover photo to a picture from Flunk Day 2011. She definitely knows that tomorrow's the Flunk.<--- SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE! <--- You think the planners wouldn't invite her to Flunk with us?!!?!? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
11:27pm There are barely any people in the library.....the flunk is all around us. <<<-CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
It has be said that the flunk shipment arrived friday, they can't it for too long. Flunk day is tomorrow. <---- Shipment could also have been for the Lincolnfest picnic. The caf gets shipments every single day. Doesn't mean anything.<br />
<br />
The old flunk day twitter is in denial. Why so eager to say there's no flunk? Suspicious. <<<- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
No one thinks it's Flunk Day tomorrow.....ergo, Flunk Day is tomorrow! <------ CONFIRMED <----------- Flunk while no one is looking, stay vigilant Knox<br />
<br />
11:30 pm Bethany Mariner and Andrei Papancea are spotted hurrying into the Gizmo. Flunk is afoot...<br />
<br />
11:45 I see a new Flunk Day Song. Found from a status on Facebook: <br />
I believe I can flunk. <br />
I believe I can flunk this year! <br />
I think about it every night and day. <br />
Pour a drink and flunk away! <br />
I believe I can flunk!!!! <br />
I see me running through Old Main's lawn. <br />
I believe I can flunk :-)<br />
<br />
11:57pm: Matt J has a court date at 10:30 on April 22nd, it's totally Flunk Day. <-- I don't know if this is CONFIRMED but either way THIS IS HUGE. <--- CONFIRMED, I got pulled over with him in Peoria, they thought we were running drugs back to Galesburg, but in reality we had gone to Culver's and cashed his paycheck. <br />
<br />
11:59p.m: Regina Rosenbrock spotted sealing her eyes shut with neon puffy paint. Flunk? <-- Why would you seal your eyes with puffy paint if the greatest day of the year is coming up? Should be lining them and making them stay open! For all the Flunking!<br />
<br />
12:03am: Renowned former Knox attendee, [[Alicia Niles]] seriously considers buying a 7am train ticket as Flunksurance, THIS COULD BE HUGE <-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUFT35S7Jb4<br />
<br />
12:31 AM: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS <--- When the Dark Lords of Flunk evoke the ghost of Lincoln, times are desperate.<-- You guys keep this up, and Lincoln's ghost will come down and destroy Flunk Day. Don't provoke the 16th President. <-- "If you're a racist I will attack you with the North." - Abraham Lincoln - Michael Scott<br />
<br />
1:56 AM: Kaity HutchCroft posted a picture of people digging the mudpit on Instagram!!!! Possibilities of flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 23 ==<br />
4:32 PM: Andrei has purchased an air horn. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
5:47 PM: .......it begins.......<br />
<br />
6:30 PM: Andrei Papancea spotted at Walmart looking at what seems to be a large, glass vessel... This could be huge.<br />
[[File:vessel.png]]<br />
<br />
10:26 PM: Nice little four hour break for a pre Flunk Day posting session. Way to go WikiFire. <-- I don't know whether to be suspicious or disappointed.<br />
<br />
11:30 PM: Flunk day must be tomorrow because it is the only day I have classes. Also, Andrei was not at chapter the other day. He was probably out coordinating things last minute...<br />
<br />
Alumni friend messaged and said she heard it was this day....<br />
<br />
12:03 AM: I'M ALDUS SNOW. BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT. <-------CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
Suspicious Facebook event for Alumni Flunk Day today and Wednesday? Hmm... <------- Those are never relevant to the actual flunk day, get with it!<br />
<br />
1:06 AM: LOUD NOISES HEARD NEAR THE SOCCER FIELD. PROBABLY SOME FORM OF TRAIN. <----- Thank you. For real. This brought a smile to face that needed it. Flunk on, my friends, flunk until the Earth stops spinning.<br />
<br />
1:48 AM: Goldie said he didn't see any unusual people buying unusually large quantities of alcohol. He thinks it's too early for Flunk Day. But the Soviets thought it was too early to put a person on the moon in '69 and we gave the doubters some permanent footprints and a perpetually mid-wave flag on the lunar surface. SPACE FLUNK. <---- No one buys Flunk Day stashes from the Quickie!<br />
<br />
== April 24 ==<br />
<br />
Kathy in the caf said that she hasn't started preparing the Flunk Day baked goods yet, and she usually starts a few days before Flunk. Her guess is that Flunk Day will be sometime next week.<br />
<br />
Josh Hosmer-Quint asked Kaitlin Duling if Flunk Day is gonna be this upcoming Wednesday. She winked at him. <br />
Seems legit. <--- NOT LEGIT. NOT CONFIRMED. Just because she winked at him DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GONNA BE FLUNK DAY. <--- Yeah! Kaitlyn Duling winks at everybody. REAL NICE PREDICTION YOU HAVE THERE. <--- I so agree with you. I wish people would stop posting jokes on the WikiFire. I actually want to know when Flunk Day is going to be. <--- Confirmed. Some people are serious students and actually need to know for their planning. <--- I KNOWWWW. <--- Yeah, people seriously need to stop trolling. <---but the WikiFire is troll central. It's part of the fun. DO YOU EVEN GO HERE <--- Look, referencing The Breakfast Club doesn't make you look smarter. Editing The Wiki Fire doesn't make you more clever. And trolling me definitely isn't gonna stop me from beating you. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. <--- Well that escalated quickly. <--- not really...<br />
<br />
^^^FOR THE SAKE OF THE ABOVE, LET IT BE FLUNK ON THIS DAY. Have you people lost the spirit entirely? Or are you first years who know no better? Flunk Day is not about planning. Flunk Day is not about being a serious student. Why else would they put FLUNK in the title? FLUNK your planners, FLUNK your regular lives, FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK. THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED. <--- can we all stop replacing "fuck" for "flunk?" it makes us all sound like Christian Bible Camp team leaders or something. Would you actually say "Flunk you" out loud trying to be funny? my guess is no... inb4 "flunk you" in response to this.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''<br />
Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(see schedules below)''' Its not gonna be flunk day. 1) its midterms 2) the food isn't here 3) in April 29th.<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main<br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, CFA & The Box <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
1:00 PM Baseball - Robert Morris - Springfield (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Softball - Eureka College (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
3:00 PM Men's Tennis - Coe College Galesburg, IL <br><br />
4:00 PM Earth Month Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br><br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br><br />
6:00 PM Bike Repair Basics Knox Bike Shop <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br><br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
BUT ACTUALLY: 5am-midnight= FLUNK DAY. Meetings don't matter, clubs don't matter, sports don't matter (in 2010 the golf team got their phones taken away and were informed it was Flunk Day during an away tournament). DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP. No one is better at trolling than the Flunk Day planners. <br />
<br />
`What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever?' persisted the King.<br />
<br />
`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.<br />
<br />
`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: `Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.<br />
<br />
`Unimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word sounded best.<br />
<br />
<br />
April 23rd- Kaitlyn looks outside worried and says she hopes it stops raining. ....maybe because she wants perfect weather for Flunk Day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
Driving on the interstate and spotted a replica NASA shuttle launch pad ride thing. This is clearly space themed thus flunk day related. Will check Holiday Inn parking lot and update later if more info. <---- off 74? Where? THIS COULD BE HUGE I WILL PERSONALLY CHECK ON THIS IF I CAN GET MORE INFO THANKS!<br />
<br />
Velociraptors seen running around wearing space helmets with Flunk written on them. Flunk day is tomorrow!!! <-- CONFIRMED <-- Jesus we're back on this shit about Velociraptors? Shit was funny two years ago. <--well someone's clearly lost the Flunk spirit, but no matter [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UVtlb8EJEkU/TuutKN1jp_I/AAAAAAAAA00/gRK1475go6c/s1600/OBrienDino.jpg]<-- Obviously the Velociraptor sightings are bullshit since they died out with the Final Flunk. What you actually saw were Miniature Giant Space Chickens from the planet Acheron. THE FLUNK IS ON!<-- its not quite that easy to kill a velociraptor<--Of course, you must be velociraptor to know that and survived by learning how to use technology.<br />
<br />
7:43pm overheard caf workers complaining about late night food prep for tomorrow's "big event" <-- THIS!!<br />
<br />
I haven't bought my stash yet! SOMEONE TAKE ME TO DISCOUNT I'M SCARED!!<br />
<br />
Senior John Cusimano spotted drunk already?! This could be huge!!-->Confirmed->> DOUBLE CONFIRMED LET'S ALL DRINK <-- John said his 'source' told him today will be Flunk Day <-its because he went out with liz woodyard and alums<br />
<br />
9:33 pm Jmaw Moses, president elect of the Knox College Choir, and leader extraordinaire in Sigma Chi told me that one of his brothers instrumental in planning Flunk Day said tomorrow is the best possibility.<br />
<br />
9:45 PM - The Quickie doors are locked. THIS COULD BE HUGE (or not, some things are just normal-sized)<== Goldie has to go to the bathroom like the rest of us. No panic necessary.<br />
9:50 PM - The Quickie reopened after a very short time (4 minutes 24 seconds, maybe?). Goldie says there's a sale on fifths of Jose Cuervo, and told me "it could be tomorrow," and "tomorrow is the best day" when I checked out.<br />
9:56pm: HyVee Wine and Spirits workers report a large influx of Knox students tonight. COULD IT BE?? <== CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
10:00PM- Schedule says Men's Tennis is playing Coe College; Coe's schedule says they are playing Wartburg.. Wartburg says they are playing Coe at home. HMMMMM?!<br />
<br />
10:04 PM- Seniors seen whispering in hallway in Hamblin. Do friars know who they are yet? Will they not know until Flunk Day? CAN ANYONE CONFIRM OR DENY THESE CLAIMS? <--- They told us we won't know til the morning of.<br />
<br />
10:07 PM Craig Southern seen dashing out of Campus Life office, papers in hand. Making way to Old Main in a hurry. <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<br />
<br />
Has anyone checked the mailroom recently?? They may slip up like they did a couple years ago! <<<---- There's glass doors this year, someone should stake out and wait...<br />
<br />
10:22 CONFRIMED!!! John Cusimano, Liz Woodyard and Alums (mysteriously visiting) running through the halls of hamblin clearly DRUNK WITH FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ON!!!! it's flunk day motherflunkers!!!! <-Chis Johnson visiting isn't mysterious <- yes it is <- no it isn't<br />
<br />
10:23 Ghost of Flunk Day Past to tell you it is FLUNK DAY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE <---CONFIRMED!!! I'm glad someone else remembers this!<br />
<br />
10:23 PM- Walter Palmer reports that tennis is still playing Coe at home because Coe is splitting their squad. In a related story, he also tells his incredibly loud neighbor to "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!"---> if the match was scheduled after they picked the Flunk day date, then it will be cancelled. THe FLunk stops for nothing!<br />
<br />
Walmart is out of Flunk jugs! The seniors know somethinggggggg! Also, now I have nothing to flunk out of...<br />
<br />
10:31 FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!! faculty just got an e-mail<br />
<br />
10:41 PM: Goldie predicts that it will rain beer tomorrow! THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
'''LIL B SAYS IT'S FLUNK DAY BITCHESSSSSSSS'''<br />
[[File:<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5FYXbXu45AQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>]]<br />
<br />
Spotted: Potential friars at Duffy's. Regina Rosenbrock--known Flunk Day planner--declined the offer...she vaguely speaks of having "things to do..." Suspicious?<br />
<br />
UPDATE: REGINA JUST LEFT HER APARTMENT. I REPEAT, REGINA HAS LEFT. HER. APARTMENT. WHERE IS SHE GOING? <== AND KAITLYN ISN'T IN HER APARTMENT EITHER!<br />
<br />
Has anyone else realized all the dates are off right now? Today's the 23rd...<-- DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORKS <-- Confirmed<br />
<br />
10:53: Bethany Mariner re-sends flunk day work reschedules to Union Board workers!! <--Has anyone seen her!?<br />
<br />
THE Matt Gordon SAYS tomorrow is FLUNK DAY. THIS IS HUGE<br />
<br />
THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. I REPEAT, THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. START DRINKING NOW <--- CONFIRMED!! <--- Pictures required for us plebeians that aren't RA's<br />
<br />
== April 25 ==<br />
<br />
This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?<br />
<br />
It cannot be today as the Thursday before the concert is the Symphony move day and Pearl (da boss) has already submitted it to the school as a conflict date. Source: I work for her. <br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, CFA & The Box <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
4:00 PM Knox Model UN Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
4:15 PM Asian Student Association (ASA) Asian Cultural House <br><br />
5:00 PM Ballroom Dancing Club Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
5:15 PM Community Dinner @ Knox Prairie Community Kitchen (KPCK) Central Congregational Church, Galesburg, IL <br><br />
6:00 PM Lecture: "Is Spanish a Foreign Language?" by Gwen Kirkpatrick Alumni Room, Old Main <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:00 PM Earth Month Film Series Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
8:00 PM Jazz Night McGillacuddy's Restaurant, Galesburg <br><br />
8:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
9:00 PM Students Against Sexism in Society (SASS) Human Rights Center <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Conservatives Lobby, Post Hall <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Democrats Meeting Gizmo <br><br />
<br />
== April 26 ==<br />
<br />
Official Tim Kasser prediction.<br />
<br />
Admitted students day- Flunk will not be today. Unlikely to be day before because campus will be messed up for the prospies. <--- False. Admitted Students Day is this Friday (the 19th). CHECK YO EVENTS CALENDAR. <---CONFIRMED. April 26 is NOT an Admitted Students day. There are no more of them!<br />
<br />
Run-A-Thon- Flunk will not be today.<br />
<br />
Plus, Knox is making a big deal of the Earth Month activities for that weekend and they likely don't want the campus all messed up for that. <---Campus has been flunked up for bigger activities. If this day is not Flunk, it will more likely be because it is a Friday.<br />
<br />
The State Superintendent of Education is visiting campus today. Not a chance of Flunk. <---Confirmed. The Ed department told all the majors to look presentable in class.<br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus <br> <br />
8:30 AM Men's Tennis - MWC Team Championships Madison, WI <br> <br />
12:00 PM Men's Golf - Scot-Fire Invite - Soangetaha CC Galesburg, IL <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union <br><br />
3:00 PM Alpha Phi Omega's Run-A-Thon: The Dog Days Turner Track (indoor track if rain) <br><br />
4:00 PM Free Store Open Hours Basement, Conger-Neal <br><br />
4:00 PM The Edgar S. and Ruth W. Burkhardt Lecture in History Alumni Room, Old Main <br><br />
4:00 PM Outdoor Track and Field - Beloit Relays Beloit, WI <br><br />
7:00 PM APO Run-a-thon and Union Board: "101 Dalmatians" Movie on the Lawn Turner Track (rain: Fieldhouse) <br><br />
7:30 PM KGS Presents Bruce and "Old Friends" Piano Recital/Commentary Orpheum Theatre, Galesburg <br><br />
7:30 PM Knox New Plays Festival Harbach Theatre, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
7:30 PM Terpsichore to Attend AXIS Dance Performance Space Place Theatre, University of Iowa <br><br />
<br />
== April 29 ==<br />
<br />
The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.<br />
<br />
Word is the Baseball Gods and the Flunk Day Gods have been working in cahoots this year. After a long trip to and from Wisconsin on this weekend the combo of Gods have decided that this is the only viable option for Flunk Day. The scripture is written and so it shall be.<--Except for the fact a doubleheader vs. Loras was rescheduled to this day. Not gonna happen.<---AHA but there be hope yet. Loras still lists the Knox doubleheader as cancelled and has no games listed for the 29th. Eisele is trying to trick us but we shall not let him!<br />
<br />
There is a professor from California giving a lecture today.<br />
<br />
THIS IS THE LAST DAY THAT FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ARE ON SALE. SUSPICIOUS? FLUNKSPICIOUS?<br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
'''12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union''' <br><br />
3:00 PM Baseball - Loras College (DH) Galesburg, IL <br><br />
4:30 PM Rugby Lawn, Quad's <br><br />
7:30 PM Lecture: "Unexpurgated Classics" by Amy Richlin Round Room, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] says that today is NOT flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<-- Its also like 300 other peoples 4th flunk day.<br />
<br />
== April 30 ==<br />
<br />
There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada?<br />
<br />
This is [[Max Potthoff]]'s birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Custodial Staff is predicting a late April , Early May Flunk Day! April 30 has to be Flunk Day<---------------'''This Could Be Huge!!!!!!''' <-- Certain Caf workers also informed me that they got the Menu for Flunk Day in the second week in April. They said that usually the day happens only a week or two after they receive the menu- placing it around the 4th week in April or April 30th.<br />
If its April 30th, its gonna make cinco de mayo the shit that sunday.<br />
<br />
Also who's got ideas about the flunk day stash?<br />
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Bottles_of_Canadian_Club_Whisky.JPG<br />
<br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br><br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Caxton Club: Brian Turner Alumni Room, Old Main <br><br />
4:00 PM Chess Club Meeting Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
7:00 PM Amnesty International Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] thinks that today might be flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<br />
<br />
This is the day I want it to be flunk day. Therefore, it will be flunk day.<br />
<br />
== May 1 ==<br />
<br />
FUCK YOU <<< THIS COULD BE HUGE <<< ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
'''<br />
'''<br />
== Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything.''' '''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' == (see schedules below)'''<br />
<br />
''All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br />
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main <br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br />
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br />
4:00 PM Zazen Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union<br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br />
<br />
[[Rup Sarkar]] predicts that today might be flunk day. Listen to the gospel of the Rup.<br />
<br />
== May 7 ==<br />
<br />
There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time?<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
3:30 PM Baseball - Millikin University (DH) Decatur, IL <br><br />
4:00 PM Chess Club Meeting Taylor Student Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:00 PM Amnesty International Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
<br />
<br />
[[File:Flunkkkkkkk.jpg]]<br />
<br />
FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW (AND MAY 7TH)<br />
<br />
I do not believe these emails. I do not believe them. I HOPE THE PERSON WHO MADE THEM DIES A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH.<-----Honestly this is pretty god damned impressive if you ask me. This could all be forged but this is one hell of an effort. (Humbled slow clapping)<---- ADMISSIONS never knows when the Flunk happens.<br />
<br />
(Logically, though, how would someone have gotten access to Scolange's email account?) <--- Well, while it might not be full access, you can generally access at least one of someones sent messages by first emailing them. After that, you might receive a sent message from them in your inbox regarding the message you sent. I know its only one message but its something. Sometimes you can respond to the message you received and get even more messages from them too!<br />
<br />
Prospies have been on campus before during Flunk day... doubtful that admissions knows the date.<-- Confirmed, admissions never knows the date.<br />
<br />
== May 8 ==<br />
<br />
Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day<br />
<br />
[[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]].<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Zazen Meditation South Lawn, Old Main <br><br />
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo <br><br />
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union <br><br />
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
<br />
== May 9 ==<br />
<br />
JPow thinks Flunk Day is May 9. Just sayin'. <--JPow predicted that this was the Flunk Date LAST YEAR. He will prove to be incorrect again!<br />
<br />
All Day Pre-enrollment for Fall 2013 Knox Campus <br><br />
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning <br><br />
4:00 PM Knox Model UN Meeting Room 103, George Davis Hall <br><br />
4:15 PM Asian Student Association (ASA) Asian Cultural House <br><br />
5:00 PM Ballroom Dancing Club Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
5:15 PM Community Dinner @ Knox Prairie Community Kitchen (KPCK) Central Congregational Church, Galesburg, IL <br><br />
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library <br><br />
7:30 PM Knox New Plays Festival Studio Theatre, Ford Center for Fine Arts <br><br />
8:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym <br><br />
8:00 PM Jazz Night McGillacuddy's Restaurant, Galesburg <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Conservatives Lobby, Post Hall <br><br />
9:00 PM Knox Democrats Meeting Gizmo <br><br />
9:00 PM Students Against Sexism in Society (SASS) Human Rights Center <br><br />
<br />
== May 13 ==<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category: Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=26532Flunk Day 20132013-04-22T05:38:23Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 22 */</p>
<hr />
<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''December 19, 2012'''<br />
A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.<br />
<br />
'''March 4, 2013'''<br />
Roof falls off of Neal.<br />
<br />
'''March 5, 2013'''<br />
Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!<br />
<br />
'''March 15, 2013'''<br />
18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''March 27, 2013'''<br />
[[John Dooley]] says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.<br />
<br />
'''March 28, 2013'''<br />
Official [[Tim Kasser]] Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
8:04 p.m.: [[Kaitlyn Duling]] spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????<br />
<br />
'''March 29, 2013'''<br />
Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! [[Andrei Papancea]] might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member [[Arnold Salgado]] went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...<br />
<br />
'''April 20, 2013'''<br />
4:204:204:204:204:20LINCOLNFEST4:204:204:204:204:20<br />
The only day in recorded history Knox students were on time to anything.<br />
<br />
'''April 21, 2013'''<br />
IT'S DEFINITELY TOMORROW, RIGHT? Yeah. Totally.<br />
<br />
== Flunk Theme 2013 ==<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE.<br />
Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT. <br />
<br />
[[File:space_eel.jpg]]<br />
<br />
<br />
== Flunk Predictions ==<br />
<br />
Senior [[Anna Meier]] has a series on [[The Knox Student]]'s website to predict flunk day. You can follow that here: <br />
http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/<br />
<br />
Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/<br />
<br />
The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. <br />
"Things are moving fast on the Flunk front, which means the OSMFDP remains April 24." &mdash; Sam Martone (@s_martone) April 12, 2013<br />
<br />
== April 1 ==<br />
<br />
At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
== April 3 == <br />
All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.<br />
<br />
10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8 ==<br />
<br />
First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.<br />
<br />
The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.<br />
<br />
Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.<br />
<br />
== April 9 ==<br />
Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.<br />
<br />
The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 11 ==<br />
T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS. <br />
<br />
Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans. <br />
<br />
== April 14 ==<br />
10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic. <br />
<br />
== April 15 ==<br />
<br />
Regina and Kaitlyn were seen buying their flunk day stashes this weekend, FLUNK DAY IS THIS WEEK!<br />
^that wasn't Kaitlyn's Flunk day stash- that was her weekend stash.<br />
<br />
First day selling Flunk Day shirts!<br />
<br />
5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:<br />
<br />
"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk<br />
Bring us this day our daily dunk<br />
of righteous catharsis<br />
and nightmarish rhymes<br />
so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."<br />
<br />
6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!<br />
<br />
6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.<br />
<br />
7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!<br />
<br />
7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.<br />
<br />
7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?<br />
<br />
8:12pm: SPIES<br />
<br />
8:27pm -- I JUST REALIZED THAT THE SIGN UPS FOR FLUNK DAY FRIARS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED AND SO THAT MEANS THEY NEEDED TO KNOW ASAP WHICH MEANS THAT FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT IS AS SOON AS IT CAN BE WITHOUT INTERFERING WITH EARTH WEEK AHHHHHH START DRINKING! <-- Dude they haven't even had a chance to sell t-shirts or send out the safety e-mail... <+++++ SO!? THEY CAN SEND IT OUT ON THE DAY OF! THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR!! NO JIL GATES, NO SYSTEME!! ... Calm yerself. --> Flunk day isn't for awhile; no friars, shit weather, its too close to midterms<br />
<br />
8:41p. [[File:crazysheep.jpg]]<br />
<br />
'''Flunk day is not today'''<br />
<br />
But we did read this in an email from Deb Southern: <br />
<br />
"The clock is ticking . . . let’s make sure that we work together to ensure that future generations of Knox students will have the opportunity to experience Flunk Day."<br />
<br />
SAFETY EMAIL SENT OUT. The season of Flunk is upon us. <br />
<br />
10:48 p.m: A mysteriously large vehicle drove past the quads twice, shining its luminescent headlights across the buildings. SUSPICIOUS!<br />
<br />
== April 16 ==<br />
'''Dear Conger/Neal, <br />
WHY IS THERE NO FUCKING MUD PIT YET?!?! Flunk day is just around the corner and there is no progress. Step it up quads! Plus, the fact that it might rain again will make the digging easier and more fun.''' <br />
<br />
The famous Art Department Field Trip to Chicago that was scheduled for April 16 was mysteriously canceled on account of too few people signing up... riiiight...<br />
<br />
ALL THE SENIORS ARE CHANGING THEIR PROFILE PICTURES TO PICTURES OF FLUNK. FLUNK IS OBVIOUSLY UPON US.<br />
<br />
3:30 p.m: The Axis Dance Company workshops that were supposed to take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have been cancelled! Obviously Flunk day is Thursday! I mean, how many emails did YOU receive about signing up for it, and now its suddenly canceled!<br />
<br />
11:35pm: Suspicious yelling outside the Yellows. Seniors know all. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 17 ==<br />
It's a Wednesday. Suspicious.<br />
<br />
Heavy rains are forecasted today; along with perfect conditions for Mud Pit Digging. GET ON IT CONGER/NEAL! ASSEMBLE THE SHOVELS!<br />
NEAL 1. MAKE THE FUCKING MUDPIT. I'm talking to you, Mickey, Jodi, Stephanie, Ella, Katie, Britney, Becky and Savannah. Oh And Angie, it would help if you would MOTIVATE your residents, to do THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
^^^ who the fuck is Savannah?! #unansweredquestions #theflunkisuponus<br />
<br />
THE MUD PIT DIGGING HAS COMMENCED! Flunk day screamers, start your engines!! <--- CONFIRMED!! The storm gods know its flunk season!<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 19 ==<br />
Flunk Day did - once - occur on a Friday. Tony Gant reported having extremely hungover, severely sunburnt students the following Monday. <br />
<br />
Could 2013 be the year of FridayFlunk?<br />
<br />
Weather forecast calls for snow. Flunking in the snow? Sounds worse than last year in the rain..<br />
<br />
It's an Admitted Students day so it can't be today.<br />
<br />
12:00 a.m: RUMORS OF MUDPIT DIGGING TONIGHT!<br />
<br />
http://thewikifire.org/images/thumb/2/2b/FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png/180px-FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
'''THIS MUST NEVER DIE'''<br />
Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox. The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care, In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of mud pits danced in their heads. And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash, Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew in a flash, Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds. When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say, I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day! More rapid than eagles, the friars they came, They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name! Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame! To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main! Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
== April 22 ==<br />
<br />
Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling gets a glimmer of fear in her eyes every time someone mentions Meatless Monday. <----SUSPICIOUS.<br />
<br />
Craig Southern spotted on campus several times this weekend.... making sure everything goes well for a Monday Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
Upper Classmen seen at Hyvee buying their Flunk Day stash!--->CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Good weather predicted. No athletic events. Seniors have made all necessary flunk day stash procurements.<br />
<br />
SPOTTED: Regina and Craig Southern at the Landmark. Making final preparations undoubtedly. ---> WHAT TIME?!-> 8:30!<br />
<br />
One of my senior housemates just disappeared and can't be reached. This is unusual. Friar?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't a meatless Flunk Day be SO KNOX? Is there even meat in space? <--- Only freeze dried. If they want it to truly be Space Flunk, there will be no meat. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
8:31pm: Craig Southern spotted in Gizmo, paused in line, and exited. Last minute Flunk Day planning?<br />
<br />
10:17pm >>>>Confirmed reports cite seeing Craig Southern on the telephone in his office around 10:00pm. >>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <<<NOPE! Interviewing campus life position<br />
<br />
10:17pm: BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKK SQQQQQQQUUUUUAAAAAADDDDDDD<br />
<br />
<br />
10:20 Who has tabs on Regina and Kaitlyn? COULD FLUNK DAY BE TOMORROW?!<br />
<br />
10:29 Lights on in the mailroom! Someone keep watch!<br />
<br />
Matthew Becker, one of last years friars, was on campus this weekend. Supposed to be leaving Monday. Why not Sunday? Something's Flunky!<br />
<br />
Three students in Tompkins were just informed by Kathleen Drake that tomorrow is el Dia de Flunk! Should we start drinking now??<br />
<br />
10:45 Kaitlyn's cover photo has turned to Flunk.<br />
<br />
10:57PM: Andrei Papancea looks unusually chipper doing his homework tonight... Sign of Flunk Day in the air?<br />
<br />
11:03 Three Seniors seen with booze and air horns. Are they Friars? >>>>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:12 Strange animal noises coming from Tompkins. Tomorrow is Flunk <<<<< CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
11:14 Senate president Mike Gasparro changed his profile pic to FLUNKING with Senior class president Justin Steele in it!!! Coincidence? I think not!!!! he has to know <<- THIS COULD BE HUGE!! >>>>>CONFIRMED<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:20 Bethany Marinier leaves the townhouses suspiciously, refuses to answer questions as to where she's going <<< Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:24 Jil Gates, former Master of Fun and Flunk Goddess changed her cover photo to a picture from Flunk Day 2011. She definitely knows that tomorrow's the Flunk.<--- SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE! <--- You think the planners wouldn't invite her to Flunk with us?!!?!? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
11:27pm There are barely any people in the library.....the flunk is all around us. <<<-CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
It has be said that the flunk shipment arrived friday, they can't it for too long. Flunk day is tomorrow. <---- Shipment could also have been for the Lincolnfest picnic. The caf gets shipments every single day. Doesn't mean anything.<br />
<br />
The old flunk day twitter is in denial. Why so eager to say there's no flunk? Suspicious. <<<- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
No one thinks it's Flunk Day tomorrow.....ergo, Flunk Day is tomorrow!<br />
<br />
11:30 pm Bethany Mariner and Andrei Papancea are spotted hurrying into the Gizmo. Flunk is afoot...<br />
<br />
11:45 I see a new Flunk Day Song. Found from a status on Facebook: <br />
I believe I can flunk. <br />
I believe I can flunk this year! <br />
I think about it every night and day. <br />
Pour a drink and flunk away! <br />
I believe I can flunk!!!! <br />
I see me running through Old Main's lawn. <br />
I believe I can flunk :-)<br />
<br />
11:57pm: Matt J has a court date at 10:30 on April 22nd, it's totally Flunk Day. <-- I don't know if this is CONFIRMED but either way THIS IS HUGE. <br />
<br />
11:59p.m: Regina Rosenbrock spotted sealing her eyes shut with neon puffy paint. Flunk? <-- Why would you seal your eyes with puffy paint if the greatest day of the year is coming up? Should be lining them and making them stay open! For all the Flunking!<br />
<br />
12:03am: Renowned former Knox attendee, [[Alicia Niles]] seriously considers buying a 7am train ticket as Flunksurance, THIS COULD BE HUGE <-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUFT35S7Jb4<br />
<br />
12:31 AM: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS <--- When the Dark Lords of Flunk evoke the ghost of Lincoln, times are desperate.<br />
<br />
== April 23 ==<br />
<br />
Nothing proves otherwise, isn't that good enough?<br />
<br />
== April 24 ==<br />
<br />
Josh Hosmer-Quint asked Kaitlin Duling if Flunk Day is gonna be this upcoming Wednesday. She winked at him. <br />
Seems legit. <--- NOT LEGIT. NOT CONFIRMED. Just because she winked at him DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GONNA BE FLUNK DAY. <--- Yeah! Kaitlyn Duling winks at everybody. REAL NICE PREDICTION YOU HAVE THERE. <--- I so agree with you. I wish people would stop posting jokes on the WikiFire. I actually want to know when Flunk Day is going to be. <--- Confirmed. Some people are serious students and actually need to know for their planning. <--- I KNOWWWW. <--- Yeah, people seriously need to stop trolling. <---but the WikiFire is troll central. It's part of the fun. DO YOU EVEN GO HERE <--- Look, referencing The Breakfast Club doesn't make you look smarter. Editing The Wiki Fire doesn't make you more clever. And trolling me definitely isn't gonna stop me from beating you. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. <--- Well that escalated quickly.<br />
<br />
^^^FOR THE SAKE OF THE ABOVE, LET IT BE FLUNK ON THIS DAY. Have you people lost the spirit entirely? Or are you first years who know no better? Flunk Day is not about planning. Flunk Day is not about being a serious student. Why else would they put FLUNK in the title? FLUNK your planners, FLUNK your regular lives, FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
== April 25 ==<br />
<br />
This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?<br />
<br />
== April 26 ==<br />
<br />
Official Tim Kasser prediction.<br />
<br />
Admitted students day- Flunk will not be today. Unlikely to be day before because campus will be messed up for the prospies. <--- False. Admitted Students Day is this Friday (the 19th). CHECK YO EVENTS CALENDAR. <---CONFIRMED. April 26 is NOT an Admitted Students day. There are no more of them!<br />
<br />
Run-A-Thon- Flunk will not be today.<br />
<br />
Plus, Knox is making a big deal of the Earth Month activities for that weekend and they likely don't want the campus all messed up for that. <---Campus has been flunked up for bigger activities. If this day is not Flunk, it will more likely be because it is a Friday.<br />
<br />
The State Superintendent of Education is visiting campus today. Not a chance of Flunk.<br />
<br />
== April 29 ==<br />
<br />
The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.<br />
<br />
Word is the Baseball Gods and the Flunk Day Gods have been working in cahoots this year. After a long trip to and from Wisconsin on this weekend the combo of Gods have decided that this is the only viable option for Flunk Day. The scripture is written and so it shall be.<br />
<br />
There is a professor from California giving a lecture today.<br />
<br />
== April 30 ==<br />
<br />
There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada?<br />
<br />
This is [[Max Potthoff]]'s birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Custodial Staff is predicting a late April , Early May Flunk Day! April 30 has to be Flunk Day<---------------'''This Could Be Huge!!!!!!''' <-- Certain Caf workers also informed me that they got the Menu for Flunk Day in the second week in April. They said that usually the day happens only a week or two after they receive the menu- placing it around the 4th week in April or April 30th.<br />
If its April 30th, its gonna make cinco de mayo the shit that sunday.<br />
<br />
Also who's got ideas about the flunk day stash?<br />
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Bottles_of_Canadian_Club_Whisky.JPG<br />
<br />
== May 1 ==<br />
<br />
== May 7 ==<br />
<br />
There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time?<br />
<br />
== May 8 ==<br />
<br />
Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day<br />
<br />
[[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]].<br />
<br />
== May 9 ==<br />
<br />
JPow thinks Flunk Day is May 9. Just sayin'. <--JPow predicted that this was the Flunk Date LAST YEAR. He will prove to be incorrect again!<br />
<br />
== May 13 ==<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category: Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=26529Flunk Day 20132013-04-22T05:11:02Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 22 */</p>
<hr />
<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''December 19, 2012'''<br />
A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.<br />
<br />
'''March 4, 2013'''<br />
Roof falls off of Neal.<br />
<br />
'''March 5, 2013'''<br />
Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!<br />
<br />
'''March 15, 2013'''<br />
18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''March 27, 2013'''<br />
[[John Dooley]] says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.<br />
<br />
'''March 28, 2013'''<br />
Official [[Tim Kasser]] Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
8:04 p.m.: [[Kaitlyn Duling]] spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????<br />
<br />
'''March 29, 2013'''<br />
Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! [[Andrei Papancea]] might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member [[Arnold Salgado]] went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...<br />
<br />
'''April 20, 2013'''<br />
4:204:204:204:204:20LINCOLNFEST4:204:204:204:204:20<br />
The only day in recorded history Knox students were on time to anything.<br />
<br />
'''April 21, 2013'''<br />
IT'S DEFINITELY TOMORROW, RIGHT? Yeah. Totally.<br />
<br />
== Flunk Theme 2013 ==<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE.<br />
Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT. <br />
<br />
[[File:space_eel.jpg]]<br />
<br />
<br />
== Flunk Predictions ==<br />
<br />
Senior [[Anna Meier]] has a series on [[The Knox Student]]'s website to predict flunk day. You can follow that here: <br />
http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/<br />
<br />
Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/<br />
<br />
The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. <br />
"Things are moving fast on the Flunk front, which means the OSMFDP remains April 24." &mdash; Sam Martone (@s_martone) April 12, 2013<br />
<br />
== April 1 ==<br />
<br />
At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
== April 3 == <br />
All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.<br />
<br />
10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8 ==<br />
<br />
First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.<br />
<br />
The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.<br />
<br />
Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.<br />
<br />
== April 9 ==<br />
Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.<br />
<br />
The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 11 ==<br />
T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS. <br />
<br />
Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans. <br />
<br />
== April 14 ==<br />
10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic. <br />
<br />
== April 15 ==<br />
<br />
Regina and Kaitlyn were seen buying their flunk day stashes this weekend, FLUNK DAY IS THIS WEEK!<br />
^that wasn't Kaitlyn's Flunk day stash- that was her weekend stash.<br />
<br />
First day selling Flunk Day shirts!<br />
<br />
5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:<br />
<br />
"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk<br />
Bring us this day our daily dunk<br />
of righteous catharsis<br />
and nightmarish rhymes<br />
so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."<br />
<br />
6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!<br />
<br />
6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.<br />
<br />
7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!<br />
<br />
7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.<br />
<br />
7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?<br />
<br />
8:12pm: SPIES<br />
<br />
8:27pm -- I JUST REALIZED THAT THE SIGN UPS FOR FLUNK DAY FRIARS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED AND SO THAT MEANS THEY NEEDED TO KNOW ASAP WHICH MEANS THAT FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT IS AS SOON AS IT CAN BE WITHOUT INTERFERING WITH EARTH WEEK AHHHHHH START DRINKING! <-- Dude they haven't even had a chance to sell t-shirts or send out the safety e-mail... <+++++ SO!? THEY CAN SEND IT OUT ON THE DAY OF! THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR!! NO JIL GATES, NO SYSTEME!! ... Calm yerself. --> Flunk day isn't for awhile; no friars, shit weather, its too close to midterms<br />
<br />
8:41p. [[File:crazysheep.jpg]]<br />
<br />
'''Flunk day is not today'''<br />
<br />
But we did read this in an email from Deb Southern: <br />
<br />
"The clock is ticking . . . let’s make sure that we work together to ensure that future generations of Knox students will have the opportunity to experience Flunk Day."<br />
<br />
SAFETY EMAIL SENT OUT. The season of Flunk is upon us. <br />
<br />
10:48 p.m: A mysteriously large vehicle drove past the quads twice, shining its luminescent headlights across the buildings. SUSPICIOUS!<br />
<br />
== April 16 ==<br />
'''Dear Conger/Neal, <br />
WHY IS THERE NO FUCKING MUD PIT YET?!?! Flunk day is just around the corner and there is no progress. Step it up quads! Plus, the fact that it might rain again will make the digging easier and more fun.''' <br />
<br />
The famous Art Department Field Trip to Chicago that was scheduled for April 16 was mysteriously canceled on account of too few people signing up... riiiight...<br />
<br />
ALL THE SENIORS ARE CHANGING THEIR PROFILE PICTURES TO PICTURES OF FLUNK. FLUNK IS OBVIOUSLY UPON US.<br />
<br />
3:30 p.m: The Axis Dance Company workshops that were supposed to take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have been cancelled! Obviously Flunk day is Thursday! I mean, how many emails did YOU receive about signing up for it, and now its suddenly canceled!<br />
<br />
11:35pm: Suspicious yelling outside the Yellows. Seniors know all. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 17 ==<br />
It's a Wednesday. Suspicious.<br />
<br />
Heavy rains are forecasted today; along with perfect conditions for Mud Pit Digging. GET ON IT CONGER/NEAL! ASSEMBLE THE SHOVELS!<br />
NEAL 1. MAKE THE FUCKING MUDPIT. I'm talking to you, Mickey, Jodi, Stephanie, Ella, Katie, Britney, Becky and Savannah. Oh And Angie, it would help if you would MOTIVATE your residents, to do THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
^^^ who the fuck is Savannah?! #unansweredquestions #theflunkisuponus<br />
<br />
THE MUD PIT DIGGING HAS COMMENCED! Flunk day screamers, start your engines!! <--- CONFIRMED!! The storm gods know its flunk season!<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 19 ==<br />
Flunk Day did - once - occur on a Friday. Tony Gant reported having extremely hungover, severely sunburnt students the following Monday. <br />
<br />
Could 2013 be the year of FridayFlunk?<br />
<br />
Weather forecast calls for snow. Flunking in the snow? Sounds worse than last year in the rain..<br />
<br />
It's an Admitted Students day so it can't be today.<br />
<br />
12:00 a.m: RUMORS OF MUDPIT DIGGING TONIGHT!<br />
<br />
http://thewikifire.org/images/thumb/2/2b/FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png/180px-FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
'''THIS MUST NEVER DIE'''<br />
Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox. The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care, In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of mud pits danced in their heads. And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash, Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew in a flash, Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds. When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say, I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day! More rapid than eagles, the friars they came, They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name! Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame! To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main! Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
== April 22 ==<br />
<br />
Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling gets a glimmer of fear in her eyes every time someone mentions Meatless Monday. <----SUSPICIOUS.<br />
<br />
Craig Southern spotted on campus several times this weekend.... making sure everything goes well for a Monday Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
Upper Classmen seen at Hyvee buying their Flunk Day stash!--->CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Good weather predicted. No athletic events. Seniors have made all necessary flunk day stash procurements.<br />
<br />
SPOTTED: Regina and Craig Southern at the Landmark. Making final preparations undoubtedly. ---> WHAT TIME?!-> 8:30!<br />
<br />
One of my senior housemates just disappeared and can't be reached. This is unusual. Friar?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't a meatless Flunk Day be SO KNOX? Is there even meat in space? <--- Only freeze dried. If they want it to truly be Space Flunk, there will be no meat. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
8:31pm: Craig Southern spotted in Gizmo, paused in line, and exited. Last minute Flunk Day planning?<br />
<br />
10:17pm >>>>Confirmed reports cite seeing Craig Southern on the telephone in his office around 10:00pm. >>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <<<NOPE! Interviewing campus life position<br />
<br />
10:17pm: BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKK SQQQQQQQUUUUUAAAAAADDDDDDD<br />
<br />
<br />
10:20 Who has tabs on Regina and Kaitlyn? COULD FLUNK DAY BE TOMORROW?!<br />
<br />
10:29 Lights on in the mailroom! Someone keep watch!<br />
<br />
Matthew Becker, one of last years friars, was on campus this weekend. Supposed to be leaving Monday. Why not Sunday? Something's Flunky!<br />
<br />
Three students in Tompkins were just informed by Kathleen Drake that tomorrow is el Dia de Flunk! Should we start drinking now??<br />
<br />
10:45 Kaitlyn's cover photo has turned to Flunk.<br />
<br />
10:57PM: Andrei Papancea looks unusually chipper doing his homework tonight... Sign of Flunk Day in the air?<br />
<br />
11:03 Three Seniors seen with booze and air horns. Are they Friars? >>>>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:12 Strange animal noises coming from Tompkins. Tomorrow is Flunk <<<<< CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
11:14 Senate president Mike Gasparro changed his profile pic to FLUNKING with Senior class president Justin Steele in it!!! Coincidence? I think not!!!! he has to know <<- THIS COULD BE HUGE!! >>>>>CONFIRMED<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:20 Bethany Marinier leaves the townhouses suspiciously, refuses to answer questions as to where she's going <<< Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:24 Jil Gates, former Master of Fun and Flunk Goddess changed her cover photo to a picture from Flunk Day 2011. She definitely knows that tomorrow's the Flunk.<--- SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE!<br />
<br />
11:27pm There are barely any people in the library.....the flunk is all around us. <<<-CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
It has be said that the flunk shipment arrived friday, they can't it for too long. Flunk day is tomorrow. <---- Shipment could also have been for the Lincolnfest picnic. The caf gets shipments every single day. Doesn't mean anything.<br />
<br />
The old flunk day twitter is in denial. Why so eager to say there's no flunk? Suspicious. <<<- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
No one thinks it's Flunk Day tomorrow.....ergo, Flunk Day is tomorrow!<br />
<br />
11:30 pm Bethany Mariner and Andrei Papancea are spotted hurrying into the Gizmo. Flunk is afoot...<br />
<br />
11:45 I see a new Flunk Day Song. Found from a status on Facebook: <br />
I believe I can flunk. <br />
I believe I can flunk this year! <br />
I think about it every night and day. <br />
Pour a drink and flunk away! <br />
I believe I can flunk!!!! <br />
I see me running through Old Main's lawn. <br />
I believe I can flunk :-)<br />
<br />
11:57pm: Matt J has a court date at 10:30 on April 22nd, it's totally Flunk Day. <-- I don't know if this is CONFIRMED but either way THIS IS HUGE. <br />
<br />
11:59p.m: Regina Rosenbrock spotted sealing her eyes shut with neon puffy paint. Flunk? <-- Why would you seal your eyes with puffy paint if the greatest day of the year is coming up? Should be lining them and making them stay open! For all the Flunking!<br />
<br />
12:03am: Renowned former Knox attendee, [[Alicia Niles]] seriously considers buying a 7am train ticket as Flunksurance, THIS COULD BE HUGE <-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUFT35S7Jb4<br />
<br />
== April 23 ==<br />
<br />
Nothing proves otherwise, isn't that good enough?<br />
<br />
== April 24 ==<br />
<br />
Josh Hosmer-Quint asked Kaitlin Duling if Flunk Day is gonna be this upcoming Wednesday. She winked at him. <br />
Seems legit. <--- NOT LEGIT. NOT CONFIRMED. Just because she winked at him DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GONNA BE FLUNK DAY. <--- Yeah! Kaitlyn Duling winks at everybody. REAL NICE PREDICTION YOU HAVE THERE. <--- I so agree with you. I wish people would stop posting jokes on the WikiFire. I actually want to know when Flunk Day is going to be. <--- Confirmed. Some people are serious students and actually need to know for their planning. <--- I KNOWWWW. <--- Yeah, people seriously need to stop trolling. <---but the WikiFire is troll central. It's part of the fun. DO YOU EVEN GO HERE <--- Look, referencing The Breakfast Club doesn't make you look smarter. Editing The Wiki Fire doesn't make you more clever. And trolling me definitely isn't gonna stop me from beating you. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. <--- Well that escalated quickly.<br />
<br />
^^^FOR THE SAKE OF THE ABOVE, LET IT BE FLUNK ON THIS DAY. Have you people lost the spirit entirely? Or are you first years who know no better? Flunk Day is not about planning. Flunk Day is not about being a serious student. Why else would they put FLUNK in the title? FLUNK your planners, FLUNK your regular lives, FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
== April 25 ==<br />
<br />
This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?<br />
<br />
== April 26 ==<br />
<br />
Official Tim Kasser prediction.<br />
<br />
Admitted students day- Flunk will not be today. Unlikely to be day before because campus will be messed up for the prospies. <--- False. Admitted Students Day is this Friday (the 19th). CHECK YO EVENTS CALENDAR. <---CONFIRMED. April 26 is NOT an Admitted Students day. There are no more of them!<br />
<br />
Run-A-Thon- Flunk will not be today.<br />
<br />
Plus, Knox is making a big deal of the Earth Month activities for that weekend and they likely don't want the campus all messed up for that. <---Campus has been flunked up for bigger activities. If this day is not Flunk, it will more likely be because it is a Friday.<br />
<br />
The State Superintendent of Education is visiting campus today. Not a chance of Flunk.<br />
<br />
== April 29 ==<br />
<br />
The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.<br />
<br />
Word is the Baseball Gods and the Flunk Day Gods have been working in cahoots this year. After a long trip to and from Wisconsin on this weekend the combo of Gods have decided that this is the only viable option for Flunk Day. The scripture is written and so it shall be.<br />
<br />
There is a professor from California giving a lecture today.<br />
<br />
== April 30 ==<br />
<br />
There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada?<br />
<br />
This is [[Max Potthoff]]'s birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Custodial Staff is predicting a late April , Early May Flunk Day! April 30 has to be Flunk Day<---------------'''This Could Be Huge!!!!!!''' <-- Certain Caf workers also informed me that they got the Menu for Flunk Day in the second week in April. They said that usually the day happens only a week or two after they receive the menu- placing it around the 4th week in April or April 30th.<br />
If its April 30th, its gonna make cinco de mayo the shit that sunday.<br />
<br />
Also who's got ideas about the flunk day stash?<br />
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Bottles_of_Canadian_Club_Whisky.JPG<br />
<br />
== May 1 ==<br />
<br />
== May 7 ==<br />
<br />
There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time?<br />
<br />
== May 8 ==<br />
<br />
Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day<br />
<br />
[[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]].<br />
<br />
== May 9 ==<br />
<br />
JPow thinks Flunk Day is May 9. Just sayin'. <--JPow predicted that this was the Flunk Date LAST YEAR. He will prove to be incorrect again!<br />
<br />
== May 13 ==<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category: Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=26528Flunk Day 20132013-04-22T05:09:38Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 22 */</p>
<hr />
<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''December 19, 2012'''<br />
A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.<br />
<br />
'''March 4, 2013'''<br />
Roof falls off of Neal.<br />
<br />
'''March 5, 2013'''<br />
Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!<br />
<br />
'''March 15, 2013'''<br />
18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''March 27, 2013'''<br />
[[John Dooley]] says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.<br />
<br />
'''March 28, 2013'''<br />
Official [[Tim Kasser]] Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
8:04 p.m.: [[Kaitlyn Duling]] spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????<br />
<br />
'''March 29, 2013'''<br />
Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! [[Andrei Papancea]] might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member [[Arnold Salgado]] went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...<br />
<br />
'''April 20, 2013'''<br />
4:204:204:204:204:20LINCOLNFEST4:204:204:204:204:20<br />
The only day in recorded history Knox students were on time to anything.<br />
<br />
'''April 21, 2013'''<br />
IT'S DEFINITELY TOMORROW, RIGHT? Yeah. Totally.<br />
<br />
== Flunk Theme 2013 ==<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE.<br />
Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT. <br />
<br />
[[File:space_eel.jpg]]<br />
<br />
<br />
== Flunk Predictions ==<br />
<br />
Senior [[Anna Meier]] has a series on [[The Knox Student]]'s website to predict flunk day. You can follow that here: <br />
http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/<br />
<br />
Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/<br />
<br />
The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. <br />
"Things are moving fast on the Flunk front, which means the OSMFDP remains April 24." &mdash; Sam Martone (@s_martone) April 12, 2013<br />
<br />
== April 1 ==<br />
<br />
At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
== April 3 == <br />
All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.<br />
<br />
10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8 ==<br />
<br />
First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.<br />
<br />
The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.<br />
<br />
Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.<br />
<br />
== April 9 ==<br />
Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.<br />
<br />
The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 11 ==<br />
T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS. <br />
<br />
Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans. <br />
<br />
== April 14 ==<br />
10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic. <br />
<br />
== April 15 ==<br />
<br />
Regina and Kaitlyn were seen buying their flunk day stashes this weekend, FLUNK DAY IS THIS WEEK!<br />
^that wasn't Kaitlyn's Flunk day stash- that was her weekend stash.<br />
<br />
First day selling Flunk Day shirts!<br />
<br />
5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:<br />
<br />
"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk<br />
Bring us this day our daily dunk<br />
of righteous catharsis<br />
and nightmarish rhymes<br />
so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."<br />
<br />
6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!<br />
<br />
6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.<br />
<br />
7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!<br />
<br />
7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.<br />
<br />
7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?<br />
<br />
8:12pm: SPIES<br />
<br />
8:27pm -- I JUST REALIZED THAT THE SIGN UPS FOR FLUNK DAY FRIARS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED AND SO THAT MEANS THEY NEEDED TO KNOW ASAP WHICH MEANS THAT FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT IS AS SOON AS IT CAN BE WITHOUT INTERFERING WITH EARTH WEEK AHHHHHH START DRINKING! <-- Dude they haven't even had a chance to sell t-shirts or send out the safety e-mail... <+++++ SO!? THEY CAN SEND IT OUT ON THE DAY OF! THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR!! NO JIL GATES, NO SYSTEME!! ... Calm yerself. --> Flunk day isn't for awhile; no friars, shit weather, its too close to midterms<br />
<br />
8:41p. [[File:crazysheep.jpg]]<br />
<br />
'''Flunk day is not today'''<br />
<br />
But we did read this in an email from Deb Southern: <br />
<br />
"The clock is ticking . . . let’s make sure that we work together to ensure that future generations of Knox students will have the opportunity to experience Flunk Day."<br />
<br />
SAFETY EMAIL SENT OUT. The season of Flunk is upon us. <br />
<br />
10:48 p.m: A mysteriously large vehicle drove past the quads twice, shining its luminescent headlights across the buildings. SUSPICIOUS!<br />
<br />
== April 16 ==<br />
'''Dear Conger/Neal, <br />
WHY IS THERE NO FUCKING MUD PIT YET?!?! Flunk day is just around the corner and there is no progress. Step it up quads! Plus, the fact that it might rain again will make the digging easier and more fun.''' <br />
<br />
The famous Art Department Field Trip to Chicago that was scheduled for April 16 was mysteriously canceled on account of too few people signing up... riiiight...<br />
<br />
ALL THE SENIORS ARE CHANGING THEIR PROFILE PICTURES TO PICTURES OF FLUNK. FLUNK IS OBVIOUSLY UPON US.<br />
<br />
3:30 p.m: The Axis Dance Company workshops that were supposed to take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have been cancelled! Obviously Flunk day is Thursday! I mean, how many emails did YOU receive about signing up for it, and now its suddenly canceled!<br />
<br />
11:35pm: Suspicious yelling outside the Yellows. Seniors know all. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 17 ==<br />
It's a Wednesday. Suspicious.<br />
<br />
Heavy rains are forecasted today; along with perfect conditions for Mud Pit Digging. GET ON IT CONGER/NEAL! ASSEMBLE THE SHOVELS!<br />
NEAL 1. MAKE THE FUCKING MUDPIT. I'm talking to you, Mickey, Jodi, Stephanie, Ella, Katie, Britney, Becky and Savannah. Oh And Angie, it would help if you would MOTIVATE your residents, to do THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
^^^ who the fuck is Savannah?! #unansweredquestions #theflunkisuponus<br />
<br />
THE MUD PIT DIGGING HAS COMMENCED! Flunk day screamers, start your engines!! <--- CONFIRMED!! The storm gods know its flunk season!<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 19 ==<br />
Flunk Day did - once - occur on a Friday. Tony Gant reported having extremely hungover, severely sunburnt students the following Monday. <br />
<br />
Could 2013 be the year of FridayFlunk?<br />
<br />
Weather forecast calls for snow. Flunking in the snow? Sounds worse than last year in the rain..<br />
<br />
It's an Admitted Students day so it can't be today.<br />
<br />
12:00 a.m: RUMORS OF MUDPIT DIGGING TONIGHT!<br />
<br />
http://thewikifire.org/images/thumb/2/2b/FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png/180px-FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
'''THIS MUST NEVER DIE'''<br />
Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox. The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care, In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of mud pits danced in their heads. And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash, Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew in a flash, Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds. When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say, I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day! More rapid than eagles, the friars they came, They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name! Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame! To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main! Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
== April 22 ==<br />
<br />
Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling gets a glimmer of fear in her eyes every time someone mentions Meatless Monday. <----SUSPICIOUS.<br />
<br />
Craig Southern spotted on campus several times this weekend.... making sure everything goes well for a Monday Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
Upper Classmen seen at Hyvee buying their Flunk Day stash!--->CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Good weather predicted. No athletic events. Seniors have made all necessary flunk day stash procurements.<br />
<br />
SPOTTED: Regina and Craig Southern at the Landmark. Making final preparations undoubtedly. ---> WHAT TIME?!-> 8:30!<br />
<br />
One of my senior housemates just disappeared and can't be reached. This is unusual. Friar?<br />
<br />
Wouldn't a meatless Flunk Day be SO KNOX? Is there even meat in space? <--- Only freeze dried. If they want it to truly be Space Flunk, there will be no meat. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
8:31pm: Craig Southern spotted in Gizmo, paused in line, and exited. Last minute Flunk Day planning?<br />
<br />
10:17pm >>>>Confirmed reports cite seeing Craig Southern on the telephone in his office around 10:00pm. >>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <<<NOPE! Interviewing campus life position<br />
<br />
10:17pm: BBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKK SQQQQQQQUUUUUAAAAAADDDDDDD<br />
<br />
<br />
10:20 Who has tabs on Regina and Kaitlyn? COULD FLUNK DAY BE TOMORROW?!<br />
<br />
10:29 Lights on in the mailroom! Someone keep watch!<br />
<br />
Matthew Becker, one of last years friars, was on campus this weekend. Supposed to be leaving Monday. Why not Sunday? Something's Flunky!<br />
<br />
Three students in Tompkins were just informed by Kathleen Drake that tomorrow is el Dia de Flunk! Should we start drinking now??<br />
<br />
10:45 Kaitlyn's cover photo has turned to Flunk.<br />
<br />
10:57PM: Andrei Papancea looks unusually chipper doing his homework tonight... Sign of Flunk Day in the air?<br />
<br />
11:03 Three Seniors seen with booze and air horns. Are they Friars? >>>>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:12 Strange animal noises coming from Tompkins. Tomorrow is Flunk <<<<< CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
11:14 Senate president Mike Gasparro changed his profile pic to FLUNKING with Senior class president Justin Steele in it!!! Coincidence? I think not!!!! he has to know <<- THIS COULD BE HUGE!! >>>>>CONFIRMED<<<<<<<br />
<br />
11:20 Bethany Marinier leaves the townhouses suspiciously, refuses to answer questions as to where she's going <<< Confirmed!<br />
<br />
11:24 Jil Gates, former Master of Fun and Flunk Goddess changed her cover photo to a picture from Flunk Day 2011. She definitely knows that tomorrow's the Flunk.<--- SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE!<br />
<br />
11:27pm There are barely any people in the library.....the flunk is all around us. <<<-CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
It has be said that the flunk shipment arrived friday, they can't it for too long. Flunk day is tomorrow. <---- Shipment could also have been for the Lincolnfest picnic. The caf gets shipments every single day. Doesn't mean anything.<br />
<br />
The old flunk day twitter is in denial. Why so eager to say there's no flunk? Suspicious. <<<- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
No one thinks it's Flunk Day tomorrow.....ergo, Flunk Day is tomorrow!<br />
<br />
11:30 pm Bethany Mariner and Andrei Papancea are spotted hurrying into the Gizmo. Flunk is afoot...<br />
<br />
11:45 I see a new Flunk Day Song. Found from a status on Facebook: <br />
I believe I can flunk. <br />
I believe I can flunk this year! <br />
I think about it every night and day. <br />
Pour a drink and flunk away! <br />
I believe I can flunk!!!! <br />
I see me running through Old Main's lawn. <br />
I believe I can flunk :-)<br />
<br />
11:57pm: Matt J has a court date at 10:30 on April 22nd, it's totally Flunk Day. <-- I don't know if this is CONFIRMED but either way THIS IS HUGE. <br />
<br />
11:59p.m: Regina Rosenbrock spotted sealing her eyes shut with neon puffy paint. Flunk? <-- Why would you seal your eyes with puffy paint if the greatest day of the year is coming up? Should be lining them and making them stay open! For all the Flunking!<br />
<br />
12:03am: Renowned former Knox attendee, [[Alicia Niles]] seriously considers buying a 7am train ticket as Flunksurance, THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
== April 23 ==<br />
<br />
Nothing proves otherwise, isn't that good enough?<br />
<br />
== April 24 ==<br />
<br />
Josh Hosmer-Quint asked Kaitlin Duling if Flunk Day is gonna be this upcoming Wednesday. She winked at him. <br />
Seems legit. <--- NOT LEGIT. NOT CONFIRMED. Just because she winked at him DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GONNA BE FLUNK DAY. <--- Yeah! Kaitlyn Duling winks at everybody. REAL NICE PREDICTION YOU HAVE THERE. <--- I so agree with you. I wish people would stop posting jokes on the WikiFire. I actually want to know when Flunk Day is going to be. <--- Confirmed. Some people are serious students and actually need to know for their planning. <--- I KNOWWWW. <--- Yeah, people seriously need to stop trolling. <---but the WikiFire is troll central. It's part of the fun. DO YOU EVEN GO HERE <--- Look, referencing The Breakfast Club doesn't make you look smarter. Editing The Wiki Fire doesn't make you more clever. And trolling me definitely isn't gonna stop me from beating you. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. <--- Well that escalated quickly.<br />
<br />
^^^FOR THE SAKE OF THE ABOVE, LET IT BE FLUNK ON THIS DAY. Have you people lost the spirit entirely? Or are you first years who know no better? Flunk Day is not about planning. Flunk Day is not about being a serious student. Why else would they put FLUNK in the title? FLUNK your planners, FLUNK your regular lives, FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
== April 25 ==<br />
<br />
This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?<br />
<br />
== April 26 ==<br />
<br />
Official Tim Kasser prediction.<br />
<br />
Admitted students day- Flunk will not be today. Unlikely to be day before because campus will be messed up for the prospies. <--- False. Admitted Students Day is this Friday (the 19th). CHECK YO EVENTS CALENDAR. <---CONFIRMED. April 26 is NOT an Admitted Students day. There are no more of them!<br />
<br />
Run-A-Thon- Flunk will not be today.<br />
<br />
Plus, Knox is making a big deal of the Earth Month activities for that weekend and they likely don't want the campus all messed up for that. <---Campus has been flunked up for bigger activities. If this day is not Flunk, it will more likely be because it is a Friday.<br />
<br />
The State Superintendent of Education is visiting campus today. Not a chance of Flunk.<br />
<br />
== April 29 ==<br />
<br />
The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.<br />
<br />
Word is the Baseball Gods and the Flunk Day Gods have been working in cahoots this year. After a long trip to and from Wisconsin on this weekend the combo of Gods have decided that this is the only viable option for Flunk Day. The scripture is written and so it shall be.<br />
<br />
There is a professor from California giving a lecture today.<br />
<br />
== April 30 ==<br />
<br />
There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada?<br />
<br />
This is [[Max Potthoff]]'s birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Custodial Staff is predicting a late April , Early May Flunk Day! April 30 has to be Flunk Day<---------------'''This Could Be Huge!!!!!!''' <-- Certain Caf workers also informed me that they got the Menu for Flunk Day in the second week in April. They said that usually the day happens only a week or two after they receive the menu- placing it around the 4th week in April or April 30th.<br />
If its April 30th, its gonna make cinco de mayo the shit that sunday.<br />
<br />
Also who's got ideas about the flunk day stash?<br />
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Bottles_of_Canadian_Club_Whisky.JPG<br />
<br />
== May 1 ==<br />
<br />
== May 7 ==<br />
<br />
There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time?<br />
<br />
== May 8 ==<br />
<br />
Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day<br />
<br />
[[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]].<br />
<br />
== May 9 ==<br />
<br />
JPow thinks Flunk Day is May 9. Just sayin'. <--JPow predicted that this was the Flunk Date LAST YEAR. He will prove to be incorrect again!<br />
<br />
== May 13 ==<br />
<br />
<br />
[[Category: Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Roommate&diff=26338Roommate2013-04-15T03:58:56Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>Roommates can be either really cool or terrible. Depends if you're rooming with [[Tom Fucoloro]] or not. [[Lauren Burke]] is also one badass roommate.<br />
<br />
A bad roommate has [[sex]] in your bed. A good roommate makes you cookies. A great roommate goes back to Utah after one day on campus and leaves you with a room to yourself. The best roommate goes to rehab and leaves you with a double for the rest of the year. You are far more likely to have a bad roommate than a good roommate.<br />
<br />
<br />
"Everyone has a weird roommate. And if you don't think your roommate is weird, chances are YOU'RE the weird roommate!"-Conan<br />
<br />
[[Category:Housing]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=American_spirits&diff=26337American spirits2013-04-15T03:54:58Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: Created page with "The leading cause of both passing grades and bronchitis at Knox. Smoking these while attending a liberal arts college is basically a hipster vaccine, because it can't be ironic i..."</p>
<hr />
<div>The leading cause of both passing grades and bronchitis at Knox. Smoking these while attending a liberal arts college is basically a hipster vaccine, because it can't be ironic if you need it to survive. If you quit before you're 25 your lungs go back to normal, right?</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Camel_Lights&diff=26336Camel Lights2013-04-15T03:40:44Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>Camel Lights are probably the most popular cigarettes on campus, next to [[American Spirits]]. They have been called the "training bra" of cigarettes, but they still give you [[cancer]]. That, of course, is why we smoke them.<br />
<br />
[[Category:Smoking]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=26335Flunk Day 20132013-04-15T03:37:10Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''December 19, 2012'''<br />
A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.<br />
<br />
'''March 4, 2013'''<br />
Roof falls off of Neal.<br />
<br />
'''March 5, 2013'''<br />
Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!<br />
<br />
'''March 15, 2013'''<br />
18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!<br />
<br />
'''March 27, 2013'''<br />
[[John Dooley]] says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.<br />
<br />
'''March 28, 2013'''<br />
Official [[Tim Kasser]] Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
8:04 p.m.: [[Kaitlyn Duling]] spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????<br />
<br />
'''March 29, 2013'''<br />
Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! [[Andrei Papancea]] might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member [[Arnold Salgado]] went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...<br />
<br />
== Flunk Theme 2013 ==<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE.<br />
Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT. <br />
<br />
[[File:space_eel.jpg]]<br />
<br />
== April 1 ==<br />
<br />
At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
== April 3 == <br />
All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.<br />
<br />
10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8 ==<br />
<br />
First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.<br />
<br />
The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.<br />
<br />
Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.<br />
<br />
== April 9 ==<br />
Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.<br />
<br />
The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?<br />
<br />
== April 11 ==<br />
T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS. <br />
<br />
Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans. <br />
<br />
== April 14 ==<br />
10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic. <br />
<br />
== April 15 ==<br />
<br />
First day selling Flunk Day shirts!<br />
<br />
5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:<br />
<br />
"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk<br />
Bring us this day our daily dunk<br />
of righteous catharsis<br />
and nightmarish rhymes<br />
so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."<br />
<br />
6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!<br />
<br />
6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.<br />
<br />
7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!<br />
<br />
7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.<br />
<br />
7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?<br />
<br />
8:12pm: SPIES<br />
<br />
8:27pm -- I JUST REALIZED THAT THE SIGN UPS FOR FLUNK DAY FRIARS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED AND SO THAT MEANS THEY NEEDED TO KNOW ASAP WHICH MEANS THAT FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW BECAUSE IT IS AS SOON AS IT CAN BE WITHOUT INTERFERING WITH EARTH WEEK AHHHHHH START DRINKING! <-- Dude they haven't even had a chance to sell t-shirts or send out the safety e-mail... <+++++ SO!? THEY CAN SEND IT OUT ON THE DAY OF! THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR!! NO JIL GATES, NO SYSTEME!! ... Calm yerself.<br />
<br />
8:41p. [[File:crazysheep.jpg]]<br />
<br />
== April 22 ==<br />
<br />
Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.<br />
<br />
== April 25 ==<br />
<br />
This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?<br />
<br />
== April 26 ==<br />
<br />
Official Tim Kasser prediction. <br />
<br />
== April 29 ==<br />
<br />
The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.<br />
<br />
== April 30 ==<br />
<br />
There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada?<br />
<br />
This is [[Max Potthoff]]'s birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
== May 7 ==<br />
<br />
There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time?<br />
<br />
== May 8 ==<br />
<br />
Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day<br />
<br />
[[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]].</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Sam_Bouman&diff=26012Sam Bouman2012-11-27T02:02:58Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>TERMINATE.<br />
<br />
Not to be confused with the more recent Knox addition of [[Will Bouman]].<br />
<br />
[[Category: Class of 2009]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Johnathan_Ebbers&diff=26008Johnathan Ebbers2012-11-26T20:11:24Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>Jebbers!<br />
<br />
The favorite trivia game of Sigma Nu is called "Ebbers or Alan Ginsberg?"<br />
<br />
He, and others like him, strive to be "forEbbers young." Yes, like the song.</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=26007Flunk Day 20132012-11-26T20:06:59Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer [[bong]] ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the [[Gizmo]] Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President [[Roger Taylor]] (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the [[Seymour]] loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS", before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred [[Flunk Day]] rituals commence.</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Bong&diff=26006Bong2012-11-26T20:04:48Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: Replaced content with "A favorite de-stresser of students and faculty alike."</p>
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<div>A favorite de-stresser of students and faculty alike.</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day&diff=26005Flunk Day2012-11-26T19:59:48Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
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<div>{| align=right<br />
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[[Image:FLUNKDAYISTODAY.png|thumb]]<br />
<br />
Knox College in Galesburg, IL holds a day of flunking every year. It flunking rocks. <br />
<br />
2011= 100 year anniversary...its going to be EPIC. <br />
<br />
''See [[Flunk Day 2013]] for info specific to this year''<br />
<br />
FLUNK DAY IS TODAY!<br />
<br />
Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day is an annual event at Knox College where, by surprise, all classes are canceled. A day's worth of carnival-like activities are planned.<br />
<br />
== Secrecy ==<br />
<br />
=== Date ===<br />
<br />
There is always speculation about the date of Flunk Day. Some people say the date moves depending on the weather or whether students already know it's Flunk Day. The logic behind this notion goes that if too many people know it's Flunk Day before the date, they will get [[drunk]] the night before and be more likely to get [[alcohol poisoning]] during the day.<br />
<br />
This notion may just be an effect of the scare-letdown dynamic that the speculation creates for students. Some say that the date for Flunk Day is fixed from the beginning.<br />
<br />
=== Planning ===<br />
<br />
A subcommittee of [[Union Board]] plans Flunk Day, and only the select members on the committee know the date. In [[2007-2008]], the two coordinators of Union board are [[Meryl Leventon]] and [[Alex Clark]] and Pam Schuller was the secret planner. <br />
In [[2008-2009]], the known planners were Alex Clark, [[Whitney Mackie]], [[Ginny Graves]], and [[Pam Schuller]].<br />
In [[2009-2010]], the known planners were Ginny Graves, [[Britt Anderson]] (co-coordinators), [[Jenni Nefzger]], and [[Martha Baumgarten]]. Please ask them when Flunk Day will be held.<br />
<br />
Select members of the College Staff, mostly in the [[Office of Student Development]], know the date. <br />
<br />
===Flunk Day Does Not Exist===<br />
Let us start with our assumption: Flunk Day is a surprise. We can see that this assumption is indeed reasonable as we do not know when Flunk Day is to occur. Now let us just suppose that Flunk Day were to happen this week. Then suppose that we got to Thursday without Flunk Day happening. Knowing Flunk Day happens this week and that the current day is Thursday, we could conclude that Friday must be Flunk Day. But such a conclusion contradicts the assumption that Flunk Day is a surprise (seeing as we would know when Flunk Day would be). So we now know that Flunk Day cannot happen on Friday. <br />
<br />
Now suppose we made it to Wednesday and Flunk Day has not yet happened. Building off of what we just proved, Flunk Day could not be any day other than Thursday. But alas! This too violates our assumption that Flunk Day is a surprise, eliminating Thursday as a possible Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
Now suppose the current day to be Tuesday and Flunk Day has still not happened. Since we know that Flunk Day is neither Friday nor Thursday, we would then be forced to conclude Flunk Day is on Wednesday, which is a violation of the assumption. If we made it to Monday and it were not yet Flunk Day, it must be on Tuesday! But alas, this too leads to a contradiction and thus we know Flunk Day cannot be on Tuesday. If it isn’t Friday, Thursday, Wednesday, or Tuesday, it must be on Monday! But this too is a contradiction, and thus we are forced to conclude Flunk Day is not this week!<br />
<br />
Please note that the logic given can be applied to the entire year if Flunk Day was not this week (ie If we make it to the second to last day of this term with no Flunk Day, then we would know Flunk Day is on the last day, but that would violate our assumption and thus we would know it cannot be on the last day. Suppose we get to the third to last day… etc.) Now, we can logically conclude one of two things:<br />
<br />
1. Flunk Day is not a surprise<br />
2. Flunk Day can never happen<br />
<br />
Dean Romano strongly insists that Flunk Day will be a surprise each year. Thus, logically, the second statement is the truth.<br />
<br />
<br />
Also See [[Students For Flunk Day Truth]]<br />
<br />
The problem with the logic.<br />
<br />
Assume we know that El Dia de Flunk is to occur on a weekday of a given term. Assume also the nature of the day is 'surprising,' but not unknowable.<br />
<br />
Situation 1). If we get to the 29th of May and the last chance for Flunk day to occur is the 30th, then Flunk day is no longer a surprise but still exists, as its date is knowable.<br />
<br />
Situation 2). If it is the 28th of May, then the presuppositions have changed, and the result is that Flunk day may or may not occur on the 29th or the 30th (50/50 chances). However, if Flunk day does not occur on the 29th, then we must resort to Situation 1. If Flunk day does occur on the 29th, it is still Flunk day, because there is a chance that Flunk day could occur on a knowable day, but that its suprising nature would be lessened.<br />
<br />
Situation 3). If it is the 27th, Flunk day may occur on the 28th, 29th, or the 30th (in which case there is a 33.3% chance that it will occur on any one of those days). If Flunk day does not occur on the 28th or 29th, then we must resort to Situation 1. If Flunk day does not occur on the 28th, then we must resort to Situation 2. If Flunk day occurs on the 27th, the surprise still exists because there was a chance that Flunk day could have occurred on the 28th, or could have occurred on that knowable day.<br />
<br />
etc.<br />
<br />
There are other situations in which the date of Flunk day becomes more or less knowable:<br />
<br />
1) Flunk day clues on Wikifire increase the knowability of Flunk day, and decrease the suprisability<br />
<br />
2) Flunk day hype decreases the knowability and increases the suprisability.<br />
<br />
3) Flunk day lies/rumors on Wikifire decrease the knowability and increase the suprisability.<br />
<br />
4) Flunk day inside-tips increase the knowability and increase the suprisability.<br />
<br />
5) Drinking decreases the knowability and increases the suprisability.<br />
<br />
6) Pulling all-nighters decreases the knowability (and the functionality) and increases the suprisability.<br />
<br />
7) Spying increases the knowability and has no effect on the suprisability.<br />
<br />
8) Blasting "Like a G-6" has no effect on anything.<br />
<br />
9) Procrastination has no effect on anything.<br />
<br />
You can change your Flunk day experience, and thus the nature of Flunk day by using these situations to change the knowability and suprisability of Flunk day.<br />
<br />
FLUNK DAY EXISTS, albeit in many forms.<br />
<br />
== Scares & Speculation ==<br />
<br />
=== The Safety Email ===<br />
<br />
At some point during every spring term, someone in the administration sends out an email with a list of safety precautions regarding the coming Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
In [[Flunk Day 2006|2006]], the email was sent out the day before Flunk Day (some say to preempt scares) leading to rumors in [[Flunk Day 2007|2007]] that Flunk Day would happen before the safety email was sent out.<br />
<br />
=== Flunk Day Scares ===<br />
<br />
Most years there are one or more [[Flunk Day scares]]. Some scares are intentionally instigated and perpetuated by a student, or more commonly, a group of students. Some scares occur spontaneously, when a given date is widely [[Rumor mill|rumored]] to be Flunk Day. Scares may be corroborated by a variety of evidence.<br />
<br />
The earliest known flunk day scare occurred during the Flunk Day 2010 season. On September 29, 2009, three weeks into fall term student Allison Buccalo spotted tractor trailers parked outside her off-campus house. Following the sighting multiple students were found digging out the mud pit before being instructed by Campus Safety to "go to bed".<br />
<br />
=== Lawn-mowing ===<br />
<br />
This piece of evidence has been cited both ways. The grass being mowed the day before a candidate date has been cited as evidence as well as the grass ''not'' being mowed. Xavier Romano says they mow the grass every day, which would take care of at least half of this criterion. Lawn-mowing is also epidemiologically linked to contracting [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tularemia tularemia], a potentially fatal zoonotic disease caused by aerosolization of rodent remains infected with the bacterium ''francisella tularensis''.<br />
<br />
=== The [[Mailroom]] ===<br />
<br />
The night before [[Flunk Day 2006]], [[Union Board]] stuffed student mailboxes early enough that students were able to discover the items before the [[mailroom]] closed. Some say precautions will be taken in the future, but lights on a closed mailroom have been cited as evidence on at least one occasion.<br />
<br />
=== [[Friars]] ===<br />
<br />
In past years, evidence of [[friars]] being picked up (a van driving around campus, sudden absence of seniors) has been cited. However, for 2007, friars will be alerted the morning of Flunk Day, eliminating this criterion. In 2009, senior students were invited to be part of what was a massive Flunk Day scare but turned out to be FLUNK DAY ITSELF!! It was so clever. Two freshmen girls almost managed to pass as seniors and be Friars too, what with all of the confusion, but they were caught in time and the tradition remained sacred.<br />
<br />
=== Flunk Day [[TKS]] ===<br />
<br />
The staff of [[TKS]] do not know when Flunk Day will be. They try to get the Flunk Day issue of the newspaper finished early in the term so that they will be ready to distribute it when El Dia del Flunk occurs, but the completion of the paper does not indicate Flunk Day's arrival. In past years, the Flunk Day issue of [[TKS]] has not been ready on the actual date, and has had to be distributed later. <br />
<br />
=== [[Wallace Lounge]] ===<br />
<br />
This is the secret, secret litmus test of Flunk Day. It is such a strong indicator that I don't want to reveal it in its entirety. But once it happens, Flunk Day is tomorrow, without a doubt. <br />
<br />
== Confirming Flunk Day ==<br />
<br />
=== The Hotline ===<br />
<br />
If you don't have access to your email, you can also dial the flunk day hotline at '''x8008''' to find out if it's Flunk day. This is not the most reliable source, however, as in both [[Flunk Day 2006|2006]] and [[Flunk Day 2007|2007]] the hotline had not changed its message by the time the campus was woken up.<br />
<br />
=== Campus Safety ===<br />
<br />
If you have only ever used the extension *7979 to get someone, anyone, to please unlock the door to your room, you are missing out. Though they will be reluctant, they will always answer truthfully to the question "Is it Flunk Day today?" However, they are trickier than you think. If it is not Flunk Day, they will tell you. If it is Flunk Day, they will tell you to wait for the e-mail. A good way to make the question legitimate is to say you live in the quads and that loud drunk seniors have woken you up. An excellent resource at 5 in the morning when you feel like getting muddy and Knox Wireless takes forever to load your email.<br />
<br />
=== The Flunk Day Email ===<br />
<br />
On the actual morning of Flunk Day a staff member, still to be determined for [[2009-2010]], sends out an all-campus email letting everyone know that it is, in fact, the real Flunk Day. This is really the only reliable means of determining whether it is Flunk Day, or just a [[Flunk Day scare]].<br />
<br />
In 2007 the email was down at 5:30am. Fearing that students would not believe it was really flunk day without the official email, Xavier Romano sent a text message to Ellen Vessels confirming that it was indeed flunk day.<br />
<br />
== Flunk Day Activities==<br />
{{Main|Flunk Day activities}}<br />
<br />
There are many traditional Flunk Day activities.<br />
<br />
The day starts with the entire campus being waken by the [[Friars]], a group of seniors selected to start Flunk Day. The first activity most students engage in is drinking, this usually continues through the day for many. In the morning, students enjoy a [[mud pit]] and [[foam pit]] to the sounds of a DJ. During the afternoon (usually after a [[Flunk day nap|nap]]) the lawn south of [[Seymour Hall]] has inflatable carnival games and karaoke. In past years, some students have also enjoy a bike ride to [[Lake Storey]], though this activity was missing from the [[Flunk Day 2007]] schedule. <br />
<br />
All [[meals]] are served outdoors on Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
==Flunk Day Issue of ''[[The Knox Student]]''==<br />
{{Main|Flunk Day Issue 2007}}<br />
<br />
Each year [[TKS]] comes out with a spoof issue of the newspaper. In 2005 and 2006, the spoof issue of the paper had not been produced yet so it was not in mailboxes the morning of as usual. In 2007, the paper was produced and printed well before May 8 and was drunkenly collected by many students. Controversy arose, however, due to the nature of the front page headline which read "[[Jesus Fucking Christ]] to speak at 2008 commencement." [[President Taylor]], [[Xavier Romano]], and [[Larry Breitborde]] called a meeting of the ''[[TKS]]'' editorial staff to discuss the issue. At the meeting Roger delivered a speech in which he expressed his thoughts. On the following day, he issued an email to the campus.<br />
<br />
== Controversy ==<br />
<br />
===General===<br />
Flunk Day is the source of much controversy because many students get very [[drunk]]. Every year, somebody (or somebodies) gets hurt and goes to the hospital. Every year, people say that Flunk Day might get canceled. The rumor spreads easily because the injuries and alcohol use are a liability for the college.<br />
<br />
However, Knox President [[Roger Taylor]] stated in an article in [[The Knox Student]] that only about 100 people drink excessively on Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
He is almost definitely wrong. Or his understanding of what constitutes 'excessive' drinking goes well beyond even students' standards of inebriation.<br />
<br />
=== Students For Flunk Day Truth Committee===<br />
In the weeks of long anticipation leading to [[Flunk Day 2007]] an underground committee of an undisclosed number of dedicated Knox students founded the [[Students For Flunk Day Truth]] Committee. A response to the campus-wide mass hallucination known as "Flunk Day," two harrowingly truthful documents, posted in two waves, were printed by the hundreds and posted about campus to educate the campus at large. However, as the truth came to light in the morning hours following the 3 a.m. postings of aforementioned articles, posters began to vanish in what was likely an administrative decision to silence the truth.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
==Flunk days past and present==<br />
*[[Flunk Day 2004]]<br />
*[[Flunk Day 2005]]<br />
*[[Flunk Day 2006]]<br />
*[[Flunk Day 2007]]<br />
*[[Flunk Day 2008]]<br />
*[[Flunk Day 2009]]<br />
*[[Flunk Day 2010]]<br />
*[[Flunk Day 2011]]<br />
*[[Flunk Day 2012]]<br />
*[[Flunk Day 2013]]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Flunk Day]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2013&diff=26004Flunk Day 20132012-11-26T19:40:58Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
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<div>YOU HAVE FOLLOWED A LINK TO A PAGE THAT DOES NOT EXIST <br />
<br />
GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK<br />
<br />
== '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' ==<br />
<br />
'''October 1, 2012''' <br />
There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.<br />
<br />
'''November 26, 2012'''<br />
Xavier spotted with his 6-footer bong ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the Gizmo Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President Roger Taylor (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the Seymour loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS", before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred Flunk Day rituals commence.</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2012&diff=24880Flunk Day 20122012-04-27T01:44:10Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 27th */</p>
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<div>Fuck that picture, I want see the table of contents. It can be found below.<br />
---->Approved.<br />
<br />
<br />
== '''Preparing Yourself for the Final Flunk''' ==<br />
[[File:flunkitup.jpg]] [[File:Screen shot.png]]<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Any good Flunk Day celebration is well-prepared. Keep these tips in mind when you work yourself up watching for suspicious food trucks and random carnival rides!<br />
<br />
1. Go buy your booze now. The worst thing that could happen is to be caught off guard with nothing to set your morning off right!<br />
<br />
2. Check the Wiki Fire often. Post the conspicuous looking shit you see around campus/town and don't be a dick.<br />
<br />
3. E-mail, bother, and/or harass the known Flunk Day planners/accomplices: Jil Gates, Deb Southern, Jack Moore, Regina Rosenbrock, Kaitlyn Duling. Watch Jack at all hours of the day. He is the Lord of the Flunk. See where he goes, write it down here!<br />
<br />
4. Dig the damn mudpit already! <--as a former Conger/Neal resident, I can tell you it will take MUCH longer and be MUCH harder than you think! Have extra shovels hidden in your rooms, because anything left in the suite can be confiscated. Lookouts are a must, have them positioned by West street, on the other side of the Center for Intercultural Life, as well as someone in Neal or Conger 3 for better long-range visibility. Dig a little bit every night because it is seriously SO FUCKING HARD to dig a hole in the ground! <--- also, if campus safety happens to catch you digging, do not run into your building still wearing your muddy shoes because they will follow your muddy footprints and find you in the basement<br />
<br />
Enlist the help of Sigma Chi. DO it.<br />
<br />
5. Don't be fooled by lawn mowing or the quality of the weather. They mow the lawn nearly every other day in the Spring and there have been many not-so-sunny days of Flunk.<br />
<br />
6. If you don't get all the Xavier and Raptor jokes, see the Flunk Day 2009 page[http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2009].<br />
<br />
7. Talk to new people. Share Flunk Day hints, clues, and stories. Sharing is caring, especially in the season of Flunk. <br />
<br />
8. Believe everything you see, hear, and read in this wonderful and mysterious time of year. It's all true. We promise.<br />
<br />
9. Don't be a total scrooge about the scares. It's a natural part of spring term at Knox. I mean, the seniors had to wake up even earlier than you AND run around.<br />
<br />
== '''Is it Flunk Day yet?''' ==<br />
<br />
<br />
We already told you not to bother with the lawn mowers, but what SHOULD you look for in finding clues? Here are some helpful clues!<br />
<br />
'''Admissions'''<br />
Ask an admissions student worker to note days on the calendar where no visits are scheduled. These days are few and far between - and good hints.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Calendar Events'''<br />
For those who check the Events Calender daily (as all Flunk Day enthusiasts should) be sure to notice any changes that occur in the schedule from week to week. This is a tricky way to find clues, but the most committed investigators will double check other schools' sports schedules and compare them with ours, call to check dates and times, and watch for days with no events listed!<br />
<br />
Note that the calendar is not bound by the honor code; some events may be made up. Additionally, even though a sports event may be scheduled, Flunk Days have occurred when the softball team has had a game, or the golf team has had a tournament.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Helmut and the Cafeteria Staff'''<br />
Watch for him heading into or out of work at odd hours - that has set off the Flunk Day alarm in the past!<br />
<br />
Ask student employees about surprise food shipments.<br />
<br />
And if you happen to be sharing a doobie with a dining services staff member, don't be afraid to take advantage of the situation and just ask. "So, uh, do you know when it is?"<br />
<br />
'''Mailroom'''<br />
<br />
If you see lights on in the Mailroom at an unreasonable hour, it could be the big day. Find a friend who works in the Mailroom and have them keep an eye out for suspicious deliveries or pick-ups!<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Parking Lots, Community Sightings'''<br />
<br />
Get out and procrastinate on all your work by driving around for a few hours a night and check out the local scenery. Notice any large trailer trucks, or carnival rides parked in the WalMart parking lot? Post them here. Pics or GTFO. <br />
<br />
<br />
'''Flunk Day Planners'''<br />
<br />
They're stone walls. If you are best friends, roommates, or just sleeping with one of them, ask questions. Pay attention to body language. Bug the shit out of them. Bring the results to your friends at the WikiFire.<br />
Known Planners: <br />
Jack Moore-tallest man on campus. senior.<br />
Regina Rosenbrock: blonde Kappa. junior.<br />
Kaitlyn Duling: Hot. Dark hair. junior.<br />
<br />
Plus one secret one!!!! Probably a senior, doesn't need to be on Union Board. <--How do we know there's a secret one if it's secret?<br />
<br />
'''Rumors and Scares'''<br />
<br />
We can just come right out and say that last year the underclassmen were assholes. Sorry, but we are NOT sorry, and if you live in Post or the Quads (or the vicinity) you ''will'' be woken up for a scare or two. Don't whine about it, we've all been scared once or twice, too. Wake up, question whether today is that magical day, do a shot or two, and go back to bed if it isn't. <br />
<br />
Believe everything. Live every day like it's Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
'''NOW GET TO HINT HUNTING YOU MOTHER FLUNKERS!!'''<br />
<br />
==Pre-Flunk Hunt 2012==<br />
<br />
Xavier was spotted at several different points this summer by several different anonymous sources. Hopping off a boxcar with several drifters, each holding one of his four-footer (or so) bongs, he was said to have torn his shirt off each time while roaring, "FLUUUUUUUNK!" <br />
<br />
Xavier is clearly behind all this unseasonably warm weather we've been having. Flunk Day will be earlier than ever this year as a result!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
The weeks of April 23-27 and April 30- May 4 are the weeks of pre-enrollment but this does not necessarily mean that flunk day will not be in those two weeks. These weeks are the most common weeks for flunk day historically.<br />
<br />
So, the theme of Flunk Day is The Final Flunk, right. Because the end of the world is supposed to happen in this year of 2012. Wouldn't it be just so clever, then, if this year marked the end of Flunk Day as well? As in, no Flunk Day? As in, the rumors that Flunk Day doesn't exist finally come true? THIS COULD BE HUGE. Also, everyone knows [[Teresa Amott]] DOESN'T LIKE FLUNK DAY! <br />
<br />
At 2:24 on March 28, J-Pow predicted Flunk Day would be May 9. That's economics. <-- Furthermore, the Art Dept. is having their once-a-term field trip to the Art Institute of Chicago. So many students will already be excused from classes. Would this not be perfect timing?<br />
<br />
Cody Dailey is currently finalizing his Flunk Day prediction. This could be HUGE. This actually means next to nothing at all.<br />
<br />
Where is the "official email" for Flunk season? --An email regarding "policies and rules" was sent out on April 18 last year.<br />
<br />
At 11:53 on April 4, the official Flunk Day email is sent out. Obviously Flunk Day is TOMORROW! --> It was a particularly classy Flunk Day e-mail and included pictures and bullet points. Maybe they think if they illustrate Flunk Day they can convince us it already happened? <br />
-----> early flunk day email + summer in march = EARLIEST FLUNK DAY IN HISTORY. <br />
<br />
READ THIS: Admitted Student Days are April 13 and April 20. Flunk day fucks up campus and thus will not happen before all of the precious prospies come to visit. <br />
<br />
Any clue who the planners are this year? <--- Jack Moore, Regina Rosenbrock, Kaitlyn Duling, and a SUPER SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNER! FIND OUT WHO IT IS!!!! <--Totally and completely false<br />
<br />
NOTE: CAF WORKERS SAID THAT FLUNK DAY FOOD PREPARATION IS ON THERE APRIL CALENDAR!!!<br />
<br />
==April 5th ==<br />
<br />
Flunk day shirts are here. Union Board is selling them AFTER Flunk Day because Flunk Day is tomorrow!<br />
<br />
Jack Moore seen being really tall <---THIS COULD BE HUGE! <---Rumor: Jack Moore is "huge." <---MMhmm. CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
Debbie Southern heard chatting with Jil Gates before Flunk Day email was sent out about how it would "catch them off guard."<br />
<br />
Spotted: JPow walking across the gizmo patio saying how he's "ready for flunk day".<br />
<br />
It isn't even April 5th yet guys... <---FLUNK DAY HAS NO BOUNDARIES, rookie mistake. Wait, so you can see into the future?<br />
<br />
Today is Wednesday, but it's almost over, which means it's almost Thursday. Therefore, it's almost Friday. So Flunk Day will be tomorrow.<br />
<br />
looks like he's taking a break from hunting vampires... ABE IS IN THE HOUSE!!! <--- This could be HUGE!! can someone confirm?! <---I have visual confirmation!! <--- Pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
== April 6th == <br />
Students saw a clown in a car, driving through Illinois. Obviously, Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8th ==<br />
11:54pm seniors are seen leaving Hamblin, exclaiming "we need to get our stash PRONTO!"<br />
<br />
== April 9th ==<br />
Two people seen digging in the mud pitt!!! Somebody please confirm this!!! <---CONFIRMED. Ladies and gents, start your flunk engines. VROOM VROOM<br />
<br />
== April 10th == <br />
There's a baseball game on the schedule for 6:30 PM. Our field doesn't have lights. Interesting.<br />
<br />
The game is at Galesburg High School, they have lights CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
All this talk of people digging the mud pit is false. Get on that, quads.<br />
<br />
Planners seen entering Old Main and exiting one hour later...Flunk?! <----you waited them out?<br />
<br />
Just heard Regina and Kaitlyn planning a booze run- flunky flunk tomorrow, definitely. <--False. Junior planners can't drink on Flunk Day<br />
<br />
7:56 PM -- Helmut was hanging around the caf a little late tonight...just spotted him leaving!<br />
<br />
Rumors are running around that tomorrow could be the big day...could it be? A flunk day this early? Remember, the Safety e-mail hasn't gone out yet. But you'd <br />
better get your stashes ready...<br />
<br />
<br />
COME ON CONGER/NEAL! GET GOING ON THAT MUDPIT!<br />
<br />
Helmut is back on campus!!! The Mudpit has to happen! <-- 8:55 p.m. <---pics or it didn't happen<br />
<br />
Obama tells the tale of the flunk >>> http://i.imgur.com/NFcyC.jpg<br />
<br />
9:21p.m. observed Kathleen Drake and Jill Gates on the corner of West and South St. Both looked tired. one yelled, "See you in a few hours!" Get your Flunk On!!! <---They probably were leaving R.A. class is SMC.<br />
<br />
9:38 p.m. overheard one of the library workers: "No, don't worry about it, we can do it tomorrow. Wait no...I'll do it on Thursday *laughs*"<br />
<br />
9:49 PM: Regina Rosenbrock says tomorrow is Flunk Day, she's not doing her homework but instead kickin' it with her awesome suitemates.<br />
<br />
9:53pm: there has already been an preliminary text from an unknown number sent to a selection of seniors that simply says "I hope you're FINALLY done with all of your homework...we wouldn't want you to FLUNK out of Knox during your last term!"<br />
<br />
Rick Santorum dropped out of the race so he could make it to Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
BREAKING NEWS: Maddie Davis, secret Flunk Day planner?! <-----Evidence?? From Galesburg, knows Knox well, works in the mailroom, lives with Rachel Hautzinger a UB member...NEED I SAY MORE?!<br />
<br />
Any updates on the MUDPIT!? <---- the mud pit is dryer than a desert <-- Still no mudpit at 11:00pm <br />
<br />
Carrie and Rachel spotted digging the mudpit with red solo cups in their hands! <---Can you confirm?? <---Carrie didn't even help with the mudpit last year and she lived in Neal. Tomorrow MUST be Flunk day <---False, she watched for campus safety and screamed obscenities out the window.<br />
<br />
<br />
11:08 PM Maddie Davis is hammered right now <---- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<----- THIS COULD BE ANY DAY OF THE WEEK! <---God damnit.<br />
<br />
11:11pm Kaitlyn Duling spotted leaving her house headed towards campus. Dressed too nice for it to be Flunk Day tomorrow. <-----Kaitlyn always dresses pretty nice, to be fair. <--- I was wearing a suit earlier tonight, does that mean no flunk tomorrow? I think NO CORRELATION! <-- Confirmed! She was wearing a dress but had a bag, perhaps with extra clothes. These planners will go to all lengths to trick everyone<br />
<br />
11:15pm Papers covering the mail room windows means no evidence for Flunk Day Foolery <---pics? they haven't covered the windows in years past [http://i958.photobucket.com/albums/ae62/zackymichel/MailRoom11pm.jpg]<br />
<br />
11:20pm: back from a Quickie run, and the guy at the counter said he predicts Flunk Day will be a Wednesday this year<br />
<br />
11:35pm JACK MOORE IS NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE <-- CONFIRMED HE MUST BE CATCHING A SNOOZE BEFORE THE BIG DAY<br />
<br />
11:37 p.m. Rachel Hautzinger cannot be contacted <--- SHE IS NOT IN HER APARTMENT! <-- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
11:38 p.m. Participants in the Aerial Dance company classes just received an e-mail saying tomorrow's class has been CANCELLED - there is NO reason to do that!!! - unless it's Flunk Day!!! <--- Can you confirm this? <--Yes, I'm in it, I'm taking the MW class and I just got it. It's from Jen Smith and she organized the thing. <--- CONFIRMED! THIS COULD BE HUGE! <-- Screenshot the email?<br />
<br />
11:45pm Lights on at Jil Gate's apartment <--- CONFIRMED FROM INSIDE <--planners could just be hanging out there trying to trick us <-- she shuts down parties at 10 p.m. ON WEEKENDS, do you really think she'd be up this late on a weeknight just for kicks? <-- she would stay up for the sake of FLUNK!<br />
<br />
11:48 p I SAW SANTA. Isn't he in the carnival? FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
11:55 Mud pit update?<br />
<br />
11:56 Daniel Beers just sent out a revised schedule and tomorrow isn't on it... <--- I received no email. I SEE THROUGH YOUR SENIOR SCHEMING <-- I got an email and I'm in his PS 321! There is indeed no Wednesday on the schedule! <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
REGARDLESS OF IF IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW OR NOT SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET ON THAT MUDPIT! <----- '''CONFIRMED!!!!'''<br />
<br />
== April 11th ==<br />
Proof:[[Media:FlunkDay2012isonApril11th.jpeg]] <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
<br />
Faculty meeting scheduled for April 11th was canceled! <-- CONFIRMED! NO MEETING!<br />
<br />
Helmut seen talking to caf ladies suspiciously during lunch.. could he be scheming for flunk? <-- DINOSAUR CUP, I FILL YOU UP, LET'S HAVE A PARTY. TODAY IS FLUNK DAY.<br />
<br />
Flunk day shirts have arrived. They're gray and will be on sale April 11th for $10 <--- JUST IN TIME FOR FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
This is the second day of the Almost There Fair, which all graduating seniors must attend to get their cap and gown, etc. Thus Flunk Day would not be on this day because that would mess up graduation for a good number of students, who were planning to go buy their stuff on the 11th. No Flunk Day. <---Why not reschedule? An early Flunk is a good flunk. <--- When picking up my gown the guy next to Kathleen Drake complained about what a hassle it is that Knox can't commit to their original schedule and now he has to change his.... FLUNK DAY IS TODAY!<br />
<br />
Underwear dance party in the quads tomorrow <---- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Did a ride-along for my journalism class today. The officer told me he was asked to come in early tomorrow, along with half of the early shift! there is no events in town. unless it's flunk day!<br />
<br />
11:20 PM Saw people walking into the room, but when i got there mailroom doors were covered! Proof? Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhbN0GHsO54&feature=youtu.be<br />
<br />
12:44 AM } Ran into the seniors on a Walmart run - So we stacked up the rest... of the fridge. Ppl it's happening and Seymour is ready! <--Freshman think people care about their stash. Flunk day is obviously tomorrow.[[File:Mystache.png]]<br />
<br />
12:40 AM Saw someone running into exec with a hoodie on, hood up. They looked in a hurry. It was kind of sketchy. Did anyone else see this? <--- CONFIRMED! Saw this sketchy ass person! <---- DOUBLE CONFIRMED! I saw them too! What the flunk?!<br />
<br />
12:55 AM Students at the Quickie witnessed the installation of an ADDITIONAL liquor shelf behind the counter. This is probably to hold the giant shipment of booze they got in today because they know tomorrow is FLUNK DAYY!!! <--- confirmed! I was only there to get a Diet Coke but decided to get another fifth of tequila, just in case!<br />
<br />
Jack Moore is awake after midnight on a week-day.. he's never up and active this late. this could be HUGE<br />
<br />
1:05 AM Jack Moore seen passing Longden with Duling, laughing about something. After seeing the panicked but excited look on my face as I locked the windows, they laughed again and ran off.<br />
<br />
1:11 AM Just spotted a Campus Safety officer patrolling the area by the quads to check the mudpit area. <--- any mudpit action?<br />
<br />
1:15 AM Jack Moore and Kaitlyn Duling seen walking quickly North across campus. After Kaitlyn departs (location unknown) Jack seen sprinting to his car and driving West.<br />
<br />
1:19 Paper removed from mail room windows. Flunk day is totally today! <br />
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-wx6Vd5dfaAk/T4Uh_QoesxI/AAAAAAAAAOw/R0TFAYTwFHY/s533/12+-+1<br />
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-jHb3DayKXzs/T4Uh_e-Zc0I/AAAAAAAAAO8/sXeL5_Haljc/s533/12+-+2<br />
<br />
Are the lights normally on in the caf at night? <--- Can anyone confirm this? <--- confirmed kitchen but not main caf lights are on!<br />
<br />
That Alakazam performer is here tomorrow afternoon - what if his act is part of the flunk schedule?! <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
Breaking news: KONY releasing some of his child soldiers for Flunk Day. KONY 2012!<br />
<br />
1:55AM Watcha guys doin... NOT DIGGING THE MUDPIT, now dig my minions, digggg<br />
<br />
2:07 AM MY FRIEND JUST FORWARDED ME THIS EMAIL!!!<br />
<br />
[[http://i1271.photobucket.com/albums/jj639/flunkfox/Screenshot2012-04-11at20152AM.png]] <--- when is jil gates awake at 2am? NEVER. IT'S FLUNK DAY.<br />
<br />
2:10 AM Sketchy car hovering outside seymour dock and then circling campus. Also, gizmo/caf workers leaving kitchen. Closing up gizmo, or prepping for Flunk day?<br />
<br />
Half-assed scare at 6 AM. Today is not Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
== April 12th ==<br />
<br />
Stephanie Meyer author of Twilight is supposed to be in town signing books. Flunkpocalypse coincidence? I think not! <--- where is she signing books at?<br />
<br />
12:06 AM - Mudpit ain't happening. Someone should poop on Conger/Neal!!! Neal 3 or Conger 1, especially. <--- Stop (being a dick) singling out suites in Neal and Conger, it is ALL of Conger and Neal's responsibility to dig the mud pit<br />
<br />
1:56 AM - Regina answers a text message. WHY IS SHE AWAKE???? Answer: Vodka. Analysis: Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
9:45 AM - Trucks innocently delivering food to Cafe; however, food today sucked. Anaylsis : Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== April 13th ==<br />
Could the flunkopalypse be coming on Friday the 13th?!?! Prospies are supposed to be here but it could just be the most bad ass open house of all time. They won't Flunk on a Friday <br />
<br />
Student workers in admissions have reportedly still not received their work schedules for the open house today. Could admissions be in on the hoax? <-- Tour guides still don't have their schedules for Friday. Is this normal?<br />
<br />
The 13th and the 20th are listed as admitted students days, but the calendar is suspicious. If you click on the 13th, it sends you to a page to "register" to come to campus, but only has the 20th listed as an option. (http://www.knox.edu/prebuilt/forms/admittedstudentdays2.asp) Conversely, on the 20th, there is nothing indicating you have to register. They haven't had Flunk Day on Friday before, but maybe Friday the 13th is too good to pass up? <-- False. Flunk Day HAS been on a Friday before. Friday the 13th Flunkpocalypse...Could it get any better than that?<br />
<br />
^There is most certainly an admitted students day on the 13th. I have a friend from home who is checking out Knox that day. No way would the campus be Flunked up for parents of admitted students.<br />
<br />
== April 15th ==<br />
<br />
Holy crap! Suspicious caf activity! Helmut is there cooking and none of the students were allowed to do food preparation! <---Can we get confirmation of Helmut's car on campus? <- Fishy caf activity confirmed, cannot confirm on Helmut's car.<br />
<br />
Helmut or no Helmut, the Paul Greenberg "Four Fish" lecture is tomorrow. Seems like way too big of name and event to coincide with Flunk Day...? <--- My professor was pretty pissed that they don't even know when Flunk Day is and that they had to "submit" dates back in winter term to "not hold Flunk day"... I am guessing Greenberg wasn't finalized by then... OR is this a cover up event.. I heard they did those before! <---Dear freshman, you are correct, but this is Paul Greenberg. The amount of work put in to get him here was astronomical. Flunk Day is tomorrow...but it is not tomorrow. <-- Ever heard of misdirection? Paul Greenberg will be here Wednesday.<br />
<br />
Spotted: Kaitlyn and Regina scurrying towards campus <- Confirmed! away from Tompkins, where Jil Gates AND Jack live. Flunk day tomorrow????<br />
<br />
Can we get an update on the mud pit??<br />
<br />
I don't think Greenberg is really coming to campus- Jil Gates and Cindy could not give details of his talk meaning they never saw a contract- every club leader knows those 2 review every contract on campus. Flunk Day is tomorrow!!!!<br />
<br />
http://www.fourfish.org/speaking.html <--- He doesn't have another speaking event for a week. He could easily be rescheduled for Tuesday or Wednesday and stay in a hotel until then. <--- why is the time on the website still TBD?? It's tomorrow, shouldn't that be specified? <-------It says 5pm on Knox's events calendar. <-- They never put false information on the events calendar.<---You're a freshman<br />
<br />
Lights on in the caf! Flunk Day is tomorrow! <--- can you confirm? this could be HUGE <-- PICTURES?? <---- PICTURES OR GTFO. <--see the Flunk Day twitter. Pics are up, but I would like to note that the caf's lights are never ALL the way out. They always keep a few on. So this may NOT be huge. <-- Are these the lights that are normally on, though? <-- don't you think this is a fairly valid prank for the planners to pull on us? <br />
<br />
Saw Jil Gates get out of a car, grab something fairly large from the driver's window and race into her apartment. Flunk day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
ATTN CONGER/NEAL: please use all of this shitty, rainy weather to make some headway on the flunkin' mud pit!<br />
<br />
== April 16th ==<br />
<br />
1:53 a.m. I was supposed to be emailed by Sunday night if my boss needed me to come into work on Monday...and yet I have received no such email. Flunk?<br />
<br />
1:56 a.m. This page is not nearly as active as it should be. No Flunk. <-- or is it so obviously inactive that YES Flunk?!?<br />
<br />
2:04 a.m. Some interesting photos posted to the Flunk Day Twitter account... https://twitter.com/#!/FlunkDay<br />
<br />
3:28 a.m. No activity on this page or on the Flunk Day Twitter in over an hour. Suspicions quelled.<br />
<br />
4:00 a.m. Mailroom lights and bookstore lights still on, as well as mail room windows covered. Kitchen lights in caf and oak room kitchen are on. Mudpit is fresh and muddy WITH fresh mudtracks from shoes. THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
4:45 a.m. SPOTTED campus safety in the caf talking to one of the seymour maintenance guys.<br />
<br />
5:45 am. Scare or Flunk?<br />
<br />
<br />
Campus Grounds workers are mowing the lawns!!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
Spotted in Old Main, Monday morning 8:30 - Helmut and a bunch of other people at Dean Southern's office, meeting. <---who was the "bunch" of people? <--- Couldn't see it properly. Helmut was blocking the ways.<br />
<br />
Conger/Neal get digging on the Mudpit! Use your hands like spades, if you have too.<br />
<br />
OVERHEARD: Kyle Szuta in the computer center "looking forward to Tuesday at home". Random vacation day, or flunk day miracle?<br />
<br />
Quickie owner asked if I was ready for flunk day. IT MUST BE TOMORROW!<br />
<br />
72 degrees and sunny tomorrow? PERFECT<br />
<br />
On Monday afternoon, the Chicago Knox Club sent an invite to alumni for "Flunk Day -- Whenever that is! 4:00 to 8:00 p.m." at Moonshine in Wicker Park. "Whenever" must be thinly-veiled code for tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Sue Hulett sent out a Flunk Day contingency email to at least one of her classes this afternoon. <----screen shot or it didn't happen <--- here's the text, in Sue's signature haphazard style and random capitalization: <br />
<br />
"IF FLUNK Day is Tuesday the 17th-- THEN Quiz on Thursday the 19th and whole schedule moves down one day.<br />
<br />
IF FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY the 16th be ready for QUIZ on Tuesday the 17th -- Class will start at 11am & I will lecture for 50 minutes and then give you the quiz.<br />
<br />
Ideas on General Systems Theory (GST) paper which is due on 4/24 at this point. If FD is Monday the 23rd. CLASS on the 24th will be from 10:40-11:40 and PAPER DUE BY 9am on the 25th. Cheers, Sue" <--- there is also a cat cartoon but I chose not to include that. <-- Why.<br />
<br />
<br />
Mixed up my weeks and went in to see Teresa Amott, but her secretary said she was traveling. Butttt I saw a light on in her office and heard movement in there. Flunk Day? haha butt < IT COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
Mysterious special Flunk Day opportunity to be presented at Union Board meeting.<---Is this the 'mystery flunk day performance' event on facebook?? <-- Would they really post this the day before Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
5:25pm. Two helicopters seen flying over the Quads. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
6:17 pm Senate dining services meeting canceled for tonight....committee leader is a planner...THIS COULD BE HUGE<---CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
6:20 pm. No cookies in the caf tonight. There are ALWAYS cookies. Flunk day is tomorrow. <--- Any confirmation? Sadly, this could be HUUUUGE! <--- Actually, whenever they have the panellet sweet potato bar things, there are no cookies (source--I've worked in the bakery).<----nobody actually likes teh sweet potato bars- saving the good stuff for tomorrow?! <br />
<br />
Kaitlyn and Regina seen at Walmart stocking up on supplies for the big day. Flunk is upon us. <-- Junior planners can't drink on Flunk Day. They have to drive the gators and be sober. They're messing with us.<--- CONFIRMED. They're flunking with us. <---Who says the supplies were alcohol? You can't see what they're buying in the picture. Maybe it's other stuff for the flunk <-- the picture circulating is for sure from the alcohol aisle in walmart<-- no it's not, you can see flowers in a cooler which means it's the front aisle by the produce. BOOM. <-- Produce is essential for Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
7:01 PM - the Knox-Monmouth baseball game was rescheduled from Saturday to the 17th, but the 17th is Scots Day at Monmouth - their version of Flunk Day! Would they really agree to schedule a baseball game on the day of their own spring carnival?<----the game is not on their schedule. The schedule states they will play at Knox on the 21st <--- CONFIRMED! Monmouth has no games scheduled tomorrow!<--- The Monmouth game is a rescheduled game from the previous weekend. If people paid attention to the sports teams, maybe they would know this shit<----CONFIRMED, care more people...Also, it is encouraged to treat tomorrow as flunk day and come drunkenly support your student athletes --Monmouth is still scheduled to play tomorrow. <---CONFIRMED <-- They are playing even though it is their carnival? Seems fishy.<---It's a conference game, it needs to be played and weekends are booked. <-- it would have been scheduled after Flunk Day was finalized, so it may just conflict. <---Monmouth player has confirmed that in fact they are being forced to play on Scots Day.<--- I think we can all agree that baseball/softball means nothing to the campus excepting relevant parents and teammates; Meaning, el dia de flunk could be tomorrow.<--- Confirmed!<br />
<br />
7:45pm - seven very different Knox seniors spotted at Hyvee Wine and Spirits stocking up on all things Flunk <-- CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
They haven't mowed in a few days. Waiting until after Flunk Day to fix the lawn for the prospies? <---It's definitely Flunk day tomorrow!<---for sures -- They mowed the lawn today<---in prep for flunk? <br />
<br />
9:19pm - John Schlaf spotted at the Campus Safety office?!?! <---uh he works there? <-- Does he always work this late?<br />
<br />
Jil Gates picked up four giant boxes from the mail room today.<----------She has a P.O. box off campus for Flunk day.<br />
<br />
9:29pm - I just had an OUT OF BODY experience in which the spirit of Lincoln contacted me HIMSELF to inform me that TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY!<-- Confirmed.<br />
<br />
9:40pm - Just asked Siri if Flunk Day was tomorrow and SHE SAID YESSSSSSSS <br />
<br />
9:40 pm- Regina spotted running in and out of the Union Board office <--- like, several times in a row or over a period of a few hours?<br />
<br />
9:44pm - Kathleen Drake leaves Senate Finance Committee early. Flunk day preparations? THIS COULD BE RIDONKULOUSLY HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
9:44pm- I AM DRINKING A BEER. Flunk day? I think YES!<---THIS KID <-- Which Kid?<br />
<br />
9:45pm- Seniors and Faculty members seen buying their Flunk Day stash at Hy fee Liquor<br />
<br />
9:56pm-Jil Gates blinds are completely shut. Lights are on.<----Always---> After some investigation, JG BF was seen drinking something in the apartment. Definitely Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE IS DIGGING THE MOTHERFLUNKING MUD PIT!!!! It seriously takes forever, so get on that shit, Conger/Neal!!! OR ANYONE WITH A SHOVEL AND THE TINIEST HINT OF FLUNK SPIRIT! <---- don't leave muddy footprints and get caught (i won't name names)!!<br />
<br />
10:09PM - CONGER/NEAL DIG THE MUD PIT. THE WHOLE FUNNESS OF FLUNK DAY DEPENDS ON YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
10:11PM - REGINA SPOTTED PUTTING ON LAST YEAR'S FLUNK DAY SHIRT. IS SHE GETTING FLUNKY? <--CONFIRMED!!<---DOUUUUBLE CONFIRMED!!!<----TRIPLE FUCKIN CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
10:15pm Hamblin RA locks apartment door. <--- this never happens. Tomorrow is Flunk Day.<-------- pics or it didn't happen!<br />
<br />
10:19 Regina spotted leaving her suite with a large backpack! This could be huge! <-- HUGE BACKPACK?<br />
<br />
10:20pm - a group of six(?) random seniors seen inspecting the mud pit and getting dirt? whaaaaat <---That's cause Conger/Neal is slacking and the Seniors have to step up to the plate. C'MON CONGER/NEAL!!! <-- SOMEONE HAD BETTER DIG THIS PIT!<br />
<br />
10:25pm - large group of seniors seen in front of the Stucco apartments (across from the Quickie), home to a notorious group of Flunk enthusiasts. Possible scheme hatchery for tomorrow?<br />
<br />
10:28pm Haley Beeson does not answer her phone. 2 TIMES IN A ROW! FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW <-- 4 times! <-- 12 TIMES!<br />
<br />
11:04 pm Regina and Kaitlyn with milkshakes. Why? And where's Jack Moore?<br />
<br />
11:20 pm Three seniors spotted tending the mud pit with household items. Items identified as tupperware, mop and recycling bin. <br />
<br />
11:21 pm One of the three seniors identified as Julia Shenkar. Entirely impossible. It must be flunk day. <br />
<br />
11:25 p.m. Campus Safety spotted guarding the mud pit. Not entirely relevant to Flunk suspicions, but pretty funny.<br />
<br />
11:35 pm Sigma Chi is on fire. First asteroid of the final flunk? <---confirmed<br />
<br />
11:39pm - Lots of student traffic at the Quickie. All exiting with tall brown bags. Quickie stashes, therefore FLUNK.<br />
<br />
Everybody, get your shit together. When posting on the WikiFire about a day being Flunk Day, you post in the section devoted to that day. All of this should be under April 17th. Stop being idiots. Even my freshman friend understood this. We go to Knox. Use your brain. <-- It doesn't make sense to post things happening at 5PM on the 16th under the 17th. Students at Knox should be able to figure out how to scroll up. <-- dunno, people are posting in both and im confused <----MASS HYSTERIA!? apocolyptic zoombie brain? ARE YOU ALREADY DRUNK?<br />
<br />
11:45pm JUST SENT EMAIL TO JIL GATES....RECEIVED THIS AUTOMATED EMAIL IN RESPONSE <br />
<br />
"Good Day,<br />
<br />
I will be out of the office Tuesday April 17th. I return to campus Wednesday April 18th and will respond to emails when then. <br />
<br />
If you need immediate assistance, please contact campus security at 309.341.7979.<br />
<br />
Thank you. Have a wonderful day and better tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Keep the Joy!!!<br />
<br />
Jil Gates" <---- confirm with a screenshot or it isn't true<br />
<br />
http://tinypic.com/r/121e3ut/5 <----HERE<br />
<br />
12:02 am: Our illicit cat is causing a ruckus. SHE knows it's Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
12:13 Just Spotted at Walmart! Group of seniors leaving with shovels and other flunk day supplies! <br />
<br />
Has anyone seen any actual suspicious activity? Flunk preparations do not necessitate Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
The windows in the mailroom were covered. <--- pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
A girl who graduated last year who works at the Landmark says Roger and Ann Taylor were in for dinner tonight!<br />
<br />
== April 17th ==<br />
12 am-- Trash bags covering the windows in the mail room. WENT NUTS. <br />
<br />
Sherwood Kiraly is not teaching a class today <--- OBVIOUSLY FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
Zumba is cancelled for tomorrow. Clearly it will be Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
this would be the perfect day to have flunk day!!! just enough time to get cleaned up before admitted students day on the 20th and have campus looking nice for installation week.<br />
<br />
Henry, caf worker, claims the food order will arrive on the 16th. They wouldn't want the food to spoil, would they? <---Has the food shipment arrived? <-- Can anyone confirm? This could be HUGE<br />
<br />
Overheard two caf workers saying "Tuesday is going to be awful." Preparations for the delicious breakfast bar already??!!<---You know a freshman wrote this because breakfast is the worst meal of Flunk Day, and never a bar. <---I wish it was a bar<--Helmet is trying to kill us by giving us only orange juice and tiny bagels to soak up the booze.<---I believe they are pronounce BAGels. <br />
<br />
Ryan Stoens seen taking Extra Protein its gotta on this day. <-----CONFIRMED...THIS COULD BE HUGE, He usually lays off the stuff during season so there must be a special occasion...FLUNK?<---- poor guy is an addict.<__ should put that stuff to work on the mud pit! <---rumor has it he may have helped for about 15 minutes last year, hes done his part <- Clearly some baseball guys <----Clearly somebody has a hatred for the baseball team, which I personally do not see. I mean have you guys seen them in those baseball pants?? Clearly going to be FLUNK<-- bunch of freshman nicknames clearly dont know crap about what theyre talkinabout!! <---Damn freshmen baseball players, Make a play sparrow...pussy <---- Who is Ryan Stoens? Quit talking about randos. This isn't the Baseball Wiki-Its the Flunk Day wiki Losers.<---Shut up Lahti, give us Hoff back <----CONFIRMED...we miss him...also good creative name<-- AGREED/ Double CONFIRMED THIS IS BIIIIIIG!!! <----------------- LOL! oops. well shit. also he has not been with me all day and you can have him anytime you want. besides the point.<-- We shall take him THAN! <-- he is all yours!<br />
<br />
Seniors seen stocking up at Wal-Mart on bottles, glitter and ALCOHOL!!! It is not too early for Flunk Day!!! IT IS TOMORROW. <------Confirmed. Saw them 2. But where's this mudpit?? <----- AGREED. DIG THE GOD DAMN MUDPIT<---Also agreed. Stupid ass people and their lack of digging. Show a little respect for classic video games. (yes, clutch Dig Dug reference)<------------Knox folks spotted at Hy-Vee Liquor. Stocking up for some flunkage? <---CONFIRMED!!<-- heard there is a mulcher on its way mudpit is about TO BE DOMINATED!!!!!<---If by mulcher you mean Kelly Ricketts, then yes the mud pit is about to be dominated. <br />
<br />
Overheard Coach Eisele, a.k.a. the Athletic Director, saying that there was no way that the students would expect Flunk Day tomorrow because of the "rescheduled" baseball game. Was also told that later on in the day he laughed maniacally and twirled an imaginary mustache.<----Mustache CONFIRMED!!<br />
<br />
Lukas Shaw "if it is flunk day tomorrow, words will not even begin to describe my rage" Its gotta be flunk day tomorrow just to piss him off! THIS IS BIG! HE IS BIG!<------ CONFIRMED! HAVE YOU SEEN THAT GUY? HE'S HUGE!!<br />
<br />
The only real thing on the calendar is a flute recital. The Flunk will definitely not be put on hold for a flute recital.<br />
<br />
Matt Barry seen walking around with an empty red gasoline can full of dollar bills and change and ordering extra hot hamburgers? TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY!<br />
W1<br />
Anna Casey seen sending text messages with her brain. Calling together her android friar army, perhaps? Guys, this is it.<------- Confirmed. Anna Casey is a boss I've see her move boulders and betas with her wit. <br />
<br />
SNU brothers are mixing dark chocolate sizzurp on their porch. The Wonka theme was last year, bros.<br />
<br />
A GIANT black cat jumped through the window <--- IT WAS HUGE<br />
<br />
Just had two seniors abruptly sign off facebook chat on me. Either i'm a total loser or there's flunk in the air... <--- Confirmed, seniors are acting strange and disappearing. Very suspicious. <--- CONFIRMED!!! 1:51 AM - same here! my roommate is a senior.. not back in the room, he abruptly left earlier.<br />
<br />
2:00 AM Jonothan Bass is going to Mcdonald's < ---- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Here's some conspiracy for you all. The date -> 4/17/12 -> 4+17=21 -> 21/12 -> 12/21 is the day the world is supposed to end. Think about it.<br />
<br />
2:30 AM Tomorrow is flunk day, therefore today cannot be the big day.<br />
<br />
2:40 AM WHERE ARE THE SENIORS PEOPLE <---- planning a scare <---- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
3:41 AM any activity around mailroom or caf?<br />
<br />
6:03 AM: Girls with pans outside Williston! But no email yet, and there probably won't be. Still pretty great.<br />
<br />
6:10 AM: FLUNK DAY'S TOMORROW!<br />
<br />
MOST LEGIT SCARE EVER. Good job guys. I was checkin my email. <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
6:30 AM: Drum circle of seniors in the quads. Poor guys, I think they thought it was Flunk Day ;)<br />
<br />
I hope that scare knocked some sense in to Conger-Neal. GROW SOME BALLS AND WORK ON THE DAMN MUDPIT TONIGHT! Sincerely, a concerned senior. <--- CONFIRMED. Some scarers made sure to throw what mud was there at Conger-Neal. Make it happen!<br />
<br />
==April 18th ==<br />
<br />
Jillian Staley is a LIAR! The most IMPORTANT AND FUN thing Conger-Neal residents can do in the season leading up to Flunk Day is to dig the mudpit! You wanted to live there. Take responsibility for your actions!!<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day food shipment is supposedly scheduled to arrive on Monday, which would give Wednesday a high probability of being el dia de flunk.<br />
<br />
Today is most definitely Flunk Day. A townie walking their dog said they heard word of it. Monmouth's (not as good) equivalent of flunk day was the 17th. Think about it. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Maintenance is going HAM on the lawn care. Today's gotta be the day<br />
<br />
Confirmed, the food shipment arrived in Tuesday April 17th. Today is still a possibility <-- Who is confirming this? How do you know it is food for Flunk?<---I will not reveal her/his name but they are a distinguished member of the caf staff. <--- If this is actually true, it's sort of ironic that while we were doing the scare this morning, the Flunk Day feast was being delivered. Too bad no one interrogated the truck driver.<br />
<br />
The wiki has gone silent. Exactly what the planners want. <--- I was just on my way over to start some things..<br />
<br />
Tomorrow does seem pretty unlikely, but perhaps we just aren't digging deep enough for clues! Start hunting y'all!<br />
<br />
Campus safety was definitely out patrolling A LOT today... preparations for tomorrow?<---Not only is Campus Safety out but the baseball team swept Monmouth today, tomorrow must be Flunk<---campus safety circled the mudpit in their mules a few time today <--- RIGHT BECAUSE NOTHING SCREAMS 'IT'S FLUNK DAY' LIKE CAMPUS SAFETY DRIVING IN CIRCLES <--- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
Shut the front door, we beat Monmouth at a sport? IT'S THE APOCALYPSE TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY BEGIN DRINKING NOW! <---Confirmed, they will lose two more times this weekend also<br />
<br />
Call Me Maybe = Best Flunk Day Song Ever <---CONFIRMED, maybe Carley Rae Jepsen will be the performer? <- no, but STILL a better love story than twilight. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
9:03 PM Caf workers seen leaving the caf via the loading dock, isn't that a bit later than they usually leave? <--- No, the last shift ends at 9. <- OMG LOL CAF WORKERS DOING WHAT THEY NORMALLY DO. MUST BE FLUNK DAY. <br />
<br />
9:30 PM A flock of velociraptors is seen circling the campus. <-- VELOCIRAPTORS ARE RELATED TO CHICKENS. ENOUGH SAID. <br />
<br />
9:55 PM ADMITTED STUDENTS DAY IS A LIE! <-- Proof? <-- it isn't a lie, there is an admitted students day. the cake, however, IS a lie. <br />
<br />
ATTN EVERYONE: Wednesday, April 18, is Conan O'Brien's birthday. IT MUST BE FLUNK DAY. TEAM COCO 4 FLUNK! <-- Flunk yeah!<br />
<br />
10:48 PM I just saw Xavier outside of Old Main with a 4-foot bong!! It's tomorrow! <---Confirmed, this could be huge.<br />
<br />
11:25 PM unlikely to have flunk day tomorrow, too many community service activities going on... <-- FALSE. Flunk Day IS community service! <--proof? <br />
<br />
12:10AM Jack Moore seen driving his car and dropping off Vincent Rug at his house near the quads! Vincent Rug= SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNER!= Jack and Vince working of potential Flunk for TOMORROW. . . Or near FUTURE <-hopefully not tomorrow, it's supposed to be ~50-55 degrees and thunderstorm all day. bawk bawk. <br />
<br />
12:19 AM Heard some strange noises from Seymour loading dock. <-THIS ISN'T UNUSUAL. <-BETA <-- CONFIRMED, NOISES WERE FROM BETAS<br />
<br />
12:58 AM Beta? noises continue. that or velociraptors. maybe both. I really don't want to know at this point. hopefully they don't see their shadow or there'll be 4 more weeks of flunk day waiting!<br />
<br />
4:20 am campus safety taking a nap in founders! must be resting up so he can get his flunk on in a couple hours?<br />
<br />
== April 19th ==<br />
<br />
ZERO EVENTS ON THE CALENDAR: [http://imgur.com/lteL6] <--- False: That is the performance of an Honors Project as well as the middle of Greek Week. <--- easiest Greek Week event ever!!!! It MUST be Flunk Day!!!<---It doesn't matter when Greek Week is, Flunk day has no limitations! Flunk Day is April 19th<---This could be HUGE!<---That's what she said. <- CONFIRMED. SHE DID IN FACT SAY THAT. <br />
<br />
20th is admitted student day -- Amott won't want a Flunked up campus for Friday. <----- Campus is pretty good at cleaning up. Other than the mudpit [which is permanently scarred into the quads. That is, IF IT GETS BUILT], there are few remnants of Flunk Day the day after flunk. <-- broken beer bottles, mud everywhere, hungover students, garbage, messed up lawn, vomit, broken walls/windows/toilets, etc... sooo easy to clean up @_@. your logic is not at all sound. <- CONFIRMED. LOGIC NOT SOUND. NO FLUNK DAY UNTIL AFTER ADMITTED STUDENTS DAY<br />
<br />
Jil Gates was reportedly off campus, all day on Tuesday, April 17th. Could she be meeting with Flunk Day services? Be prepared to Flunk!!<br />
<br />
2:30 PM Regina and Kaitlyn spotted in te campus life office. <-maybe because it's their job. derp. ex: OMG LOLZ CAMPUS SAFETY SPOTTED AT CAMPUS SAFETY!!!!! WHATEVER SHALL WE DO??!?? <br />
<br />
5:03 PM: Jil Gates and Kaitlyn were in the Campus Life office with the main office closed- secret Flunk plans in the works.... FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW!!! <- FALSE. <br />
<br />
8:33 PM: Kaitlyn has a meeting at 9. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW. (Or possibly Monday?) <- CONFIRMED, FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY. Or maybe tomorrow... a prospie last week said they thought about coming to the admitted students day on Friday, so I'm pretty sure there legitimately is one. In that case it definitely WON'T be the 19th or 20th<br />
<br />
I work in the kitchen and one of the freezers I usually get food out of was locked today. This freezer is never locked! IT'S FLUNCK DAY FOOD! <- the fact that it's in the *freezer* supports the argument that "flunck" day is next Monday.<br />
<br />
Maintenance worker said he was looking forward to his "F-word" holiday either Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday of next week. It's happening.<br />
<br />
Liz Oatney seen on the Gizmo patio....MUST be flunk day on Monday.<br />
<br />
== April 20th ==<br />
Email sent at 6.21 this morning:<br />
"MYTH: The Final Flunk cannot happen on a Friday<br />
<br />
FACT: The Final Flunk can happen at any time on any day; yet those who predict the final flunk are all in agreement that it has to be a weekday."<br />
<br />
Is Jill Gates trying to throw us off!?! By so obviously hinting that it will be a Friday, will students assume that it is too clear to actually be a Friday? And therefore, making a Friday Final Flunk Extravaganza a MEGA SURPRISE?!<br />
<br />
This also could apply to April 27th.<br />
<br />
This is an admitted students day. There is no way Flunk Day will be today or Thursday. <--- It would be kind of funny for the admitted students to see campus all FLUNKed up, don't you think? Poor tourguides. "On our right you see students vomiting in the mudpit...."<br />
<br />
It's a good thing Flunk Day wasn't today. People would have died.<br />
<br />
== April 23rd ==<br />
<br />
Get your specs on youngins cuz Flunk Day’s a comin! We’ve survived both Admitted Student Days and now it’s time to gear up for el Dia de Flunk. All signs point to THIS WEEK being optimal Flunk territory: we’ve kicked out the prospies and next week is right before Teresa Amott’s big day (don’t wanna flunk up campus right before all the alums get here). SO! It’s time to start seriously scouting for FLUNK DAY CLUES:<br />
<br />
Any suspicious activity around campus, and I mean any! Nothing is too innocuous to avoid notice and the immediate update of the WikiFire.<br />
<br />
Are the seniors acting weird? Keep an eye on those guys; they’ll try to throw you for a loop!<br />
<br />
What’s happening around Seymour Union? Lights on at odd hours, movement in the mailroom, strange comings and goings? REPORT ALL TO THE WIKIFIRE!<br />
<br />
If you have a car, take it for a spin during the wee hours of the morning. A big indicator this year will be the “mystery performance” of incalculable size. The bigger the show, the harder it is to hide! Look signs of impending ROCK.<br />
<br />
FINALLY, never take your eyes of those illustrious Flunk Day Planners! They know all…and they may let something slip. Be vigilant and may the odds be ever in your favor!<br />
<br />
<br />
I work in the kitchen, and my supervisor told me that Flunk Day was going to be this week! <- CONFIRMED <- FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY<br />
<br />
definitely flunk day.<br />
<br />
FLUNK ALL THE THINGS!!!! <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
John Spittell moved a midterm from this week to next week... granted it was supposed to take place on Friday, but still. He KNOWS flunk day will be this week, and Monday is the most probable day for the flunkage. <-CONFIRMED. DEFINITELY FLUNK DAY. <--- Our greek midterm was moved back to the end of the week when it was supposed to be tomorrow too. Our professor told us it was specifically because the huge probability for flunk day being in the next day or two.<br />
<br />
flunkflunkflunkflunkflunkflunk<br />
<br />
Jack Moore and Regina are both in Chicago this weekend on "personal" vacations. Very suspicious <-- not really, because they're both from Chicago. #idiot<---S my D. Freshmen<-- confirmed that Jack went home, but Regina is cozy in her suite. <--Definitely Flunk Day tomorrow. Last year the planners went "out of town" right before flunk day. <--CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Flunk day probably won't be on a Monday- it has been on a Monday for the past two years.<-- THEY'RE STATISTICALLY INDEPENDENT!<br />
<br />
Last year, Flunk Day was the Monday after Senate Finance Committee did next year's club budgets all weekend. Finance Committee is doing budgets this weekend. Flunk?<br />
<br />
Conger/Neal you NEED to dig the mudpit tonight. No excuses. That includes you Abe Eastman. <--- mudpit is dug? <-- have everyone in your suite donate a few bucks and go to Walmart and buy a few bags of topsoil. THIS IS ESSENTIAL. The mudpit will not be successful unless there is extra "mud" added to it. <--- enlist the help of Sigma Chi! They are SUPER helpful. <--- Actually, just enlist the help of Joe Rogers. The rest of them are lazy fucks. <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
According to a trusted source (a professor), Flunk day will be either today or tomorrow. <---Professors are always a trustworthy source of flunk day information <--- Not. <---Professors don't know when flunk day is...except for Jon Wagner, the secret is hidden behind his impenetrable eyelids.<br />
<br />
I work at the Gizmo and Linda thinks it might be Monday! <-- CONFIRMED! Linda knows EVERYTHING <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn is at Red Robin drinking margaritas. Flunk Day must be Monday!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey nerds, the mud pit is bigger than it was last year. Slow your roll. <-- THIS IS HUGE!<br />
<br />
P.S. We know the mudpit is the only good part about flunk day.<br />
<br />
Where are the planners?! Jack? Regina? Kaitlyn? updates people, updates. --> Regina seen walking to the Kappa house at approx. 9 pm<br />
<br />
absolutely ZERO events on the calendar... el dia de flunk? <-- There are 0 events for the next 3 days. Can't rule out Tuesday and Wednesday for this piece of evidence.<br />
<br />
Vince Rug seen filling up water balloons in his kitchen.<--Confirmed.<--He is also a suspected secret flunk day planner.<br />
<br />
Gizmo workers were overheard saying that the Flunk Day food shipment hasn't even arrived yet. <---false. Multiple sources have confirmed the presence of the nutritious flunk day food<br />
<br />
This entire section of the page just vanished from the Wiki Fire for five minutes. Perhaps the planners trying to cover something up? THIS COULD BE HUGE. <----- CONFIRMED!! suspicious for sure<br />
<br />
NOW THERE ARE TWO! <---- CONFIRMED!!! That's double the chances! <-- flunk day is on april 23 for sure <- THIS COULD BE HUGE<---Now there are 23 copies of "April 23rd"...FLUNK DAY!!!!<br />
<br />
ALL THE DATES ARE APRIL 23! Scare or clue?<br />
<br />
ASHLEY IS HOSTING A PROSPECTIVE STUDENT TONIGHT IN THE ADMISSION'S SUITE......SORRY BUT IT CANNOT BE FLUNK DAY! <---Actually prospective students have been here on past flunk days. THE FLUNK IS STILL ON!!!!<----well that would sure suck for the admission's host.....<--Yeah can anyone confirm if this has happened before?<<<<< Ashley and all others hosting prospies were sent an email and text to bring their prospies to the admissions office before "engaging" in FLUNK activities. THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<CONFIRMED<---- Proof? Pics or it didn't happen<br />
<br />
Current moon phase- Waxing Crescent: http://www.calculatorcat.com/moon_phases/phasenow.php TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY <---THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
8:25pm: large rv (tour bus??) seen leaving hyvee parking lot and getting on the freeway toward moline...could it be our mystery performer checkin out the burg before heading to their hotel?? <--- Confirmed! A roadie was seen chasing after the bus shouting "wait for me guys!" He also may or may not have been dressed up as Doctor Doom.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling"casually" stopping by Regina's room. Last minute Flunk planning?<-----pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
Squirrels heard conversing about Flunk Day preparations and training their young about alcohol awareness. Little known fact: Squirrels are sent a memo with the date of Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
8:30pm - Kaitlyn Duling seen purchasing multiple treats in the c-store, including 2 bags of cheese popcorn, trolli gummy worms, ben and jerry's ice cream, altoids, trident gum, and a banana. Flunk treats? I think YES.<-- CONFIRMED. IT LOOKED DELICIOUS. <--- She also had blisters on her feet. Probably from running around planning for tomorrow... <-- Does she need any band-aids?<br />
<br />
8:30pm: silver car pulled over by SMC.. Could this be fulfulling Flunk day prophesy? <---PROPHESY FULFILLED! OUR DESTINY CANNOT BE REVERSED! FLUUUNK DAAAAAY!!!!<br />
<br />
8:50 pm: Helmut seen hurrying into Seymour. <--- The end is near.. <-- Can anyone confirm? Where is his car?<---He drives a red Mazda Miata.<br />
<br />
8:54 pm: Founders is a buzz with Flunk Fever!!<br />
<br />
8:59 pm: "2012" is on FX. Pre-Final Flunk celebration? <---- Inception is on HBO could this be a flunk within a flunk. prepare your totem.<br />
<br />
9:01 pm: ☯ k®♎∆§µ∆w♬ ☯ ︻╦╤─ <br />
<br />
9:03- NONE of the seniors are doing their homework, if Facebook is any indication. FLUNK DAAAY<---that's a symptom of being a senior<br />
<br />
ALOCHOL <--Typo. Must be drunk already. Flunk Day is tomorrow! <--- I MEANT WHAT I SAID. AL-O-CHOL.<br />
<br />
<br />
No admitted students are signed up for visits in Monday. They are a lot on scheduled Wednesday and they are legitimate. <-- FALSE. There are 3 students for Monday, 1 for Tuesday, and 8 for Wednesday. <-- I guess admitted students are going to see inebriated college students, then. <--- FALSE. There are NO ADMITTED STUDENTS LEFT. <-- There are visitors almost every day of the week year-round, whether they are admitted students coming back to audition or meet with professors, or high school juniors getting ahead on their college search. <-- IT IS THE FINAL FLUNK. NO ONE WILL BE LEFT. <---- SO WISEEEEEE<br />
<br />
9:43- The C-store is pretty much out of Coke, but there are tons of cartons of eggs.<br />
<br />
9:47 - IT IS TOMORROW HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--care to share why? <--- CARE TO HAVE FAITH? <---Because the more exclamation points you use, the more likely it becomes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- False. More exclamations points means that there it is most likely someone planning a scare <----- YOURE A SCARE! <--"Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind"-Terry Pratchett<br />
<br />
- Terry Pratchett.<br />
<br />
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
9:58 - BARRED OWL. Two conversing <---- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
10:00pm I can't reveal more details, because it has the potential to get me and my co-workers/bosses in trouble, but there have been some very mysterious goings-on in the Admissions Office.<--- PROOF?!?<br />
<br />
10:01 - Jim Mountjoy left for town. First time in two weeks. FLUNK DAY. <-- A past Greek Oaks person confirmed that the Professors leave Green Oaks for Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
10:11 - Too many exclamation marks on the WikiFire. FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
maybe flunk day is just the end of the world<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling just took her vitamins. Gearing up for the big day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
10:08pm- Suspected friar seen hurrying to her apartment carrying a large bag of alcohol. Friars are getting ready! THE END IS NEAR!<br />
<br />
10:05 PM Andrei Papancea was on the phone with Kaitlyn, hung up and whispered to Amanda G that tomorrow is Flunk Day<br />
<br />
10:13- Emily Young seen eating Pizza Rolls in bed. <--THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED SHE'S STILL EATING THEM!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
10:14 Rob Smith just sent an email attachment with the readings for WEDNESDAY....he usually passes them out in class which would be tomorrow.....THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
Get your shit together Knox, no more stupid posts about people that don't matter. <-- EVERYONE MATTERS TO SOMEONE. <-- How can you be mean to Emily Young??? She's so wonderful!<br />
<br />
<br />
People gettin' mean on the Wikifire. WHY CANT WE JUST ALL GET ALONG?! FOR THE FLUNK?! INTERROBANG?! <- the end is near, sometimes people need to be mean. <-- There's never any excuse for being mean<br />
<br />
" I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy" <---THE POSTER DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE <-CONFIRMED. POSTER GOES TO MONMOUTH.<br />
<br />
I'm sick and don't want to do my homework FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY!<br />
<br />
Lights on in the Union Board office..... <-- Pictures? <-- FEAST YER EYES http://i.imgur.com/vUPcb.jpg<br />
<br />
10:28 Betas seen on the porch, bagging windows and making loud noises... its flunk day tomorrow <--That is just Beta being Beta. Don't panic.<<<<<< Sources show that betas know the night before because one of the betas have family connections to administration and the school. It has happened the past 2 years that the betas party the night before but keep it quiet so they can be drunk rowdy assholes all day.<<<<<<CONFIRMED.<<<<<Cale Dahm, Senior at beta, says "What the flunk is that smell?" [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/eb5yxg.jpg[/IMG]<<<< AND TWO BETAS LIKE IT! THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
10:42 Multiple seniors seen at Walmart stocking up on various supplies<br />
<br />
10:45 Laundry room in Williston almost empty, save for one running dryer. Clean clothes soon to be soiled by the mud pit? <---This could be HUGE!!!!!! Break out your flunk day stash boys and girls, its flunking time!<br />
<br />
10:53 Just finished a 15 page assignment due tomorrow. It's DEFINITELY flunk day. Bring on the shots.<br />
<br />
11:00pm KITCHEN LIGHTS ON:<br />
<br />
-As seen from the outside the caf (note the lights above the buffet -- these aren't usually on) http://i.imgur.com/HwkbV.jpg<br />
-As seen from outside the oak room: http://i.imgur.com/S9DSt.jpg<br />
-As seen from between the doors to the Lincoln Room: http://i.imgur.com/r0YwD.jpg <---CONFIRMED! THEY ARE SO ON! THIS IS HUGE!<br />
<br />
11:00pm STAGE LEFT (on the lawn) http://i.imgur.com/Ycf1i.jpg <--- Holy shit, this picture sucks.<br />
<br />
11:00pm DOORS TO MAIL ROOM STILL OPEN (they are usually closed by now) http://i.imgur.com/bR1x1.jpg <---And the papers are off the windows!!Are they trying to throw us off the scent?<br />
<br />
11:22 PM LIZ WOODYARD AND CHRIS JOHNSON ARE OVER 9000% SURE ITS FLUNK DAY<------FLUNK LIASON TO ALUMNI<---------CONFIRMED <-neither of them are drinking tonight because they think it's flunk day tomorrow. I don't know what further proof anyone needs. <- CONFIRMED. <- DOUBLE CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Remember that glittery red face stuff they had in a box in the gallery? Pre-Flunk gift. They want us sparkly as hell for the big day! <--- false. it was from Galesburg HS's Prom. <-- But why share if it's not in support of Flunk Day festivities?<br />
<br />
11:35pm 2 fratboys just walked by our window and saying they can't wait for flunk day.. are they in the know? That's...I don't even.<br />
<br />
11:30 Kaitlyn Duling updated her timeline photo to a FLUNK DAY PICTURE!<-- CONFIRMED! Is she telling us something or is it tomfoolery? <--- DOUBLE CONFIRMED http://i.imgur.com/Annra.jpg <----CONFIRMEDx3 Kaitlyn loves tomfoolery <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
<br />
11:41 My mom claims that she hasn't gotten any emails. I told her to stop trolling. http://postimage.org/image/sibdm55aj/<br />
<br />
Straight off of Facebook: "Charlotte Garvin and 24 other friends changed their profile pictures." - Definitely Flunk day! <--- who cares she's a sophomore<br />
<br />
Speculating that the seniors are trolling us. This is happening way to early... <--- AGREED! We'll all be horribly let down when it isn't flunk day!<br />
<br />
11:44 The Union Board office lights are still on.. and its a Sunday night.. Flunk Day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
11:47 Conger-Neal kids filling up trashcan with water for mudpit <--Pics? isnt it a little early? <--- It's never too early to start on the mudpit, it should have been done weeks ago!<br />
<br />
At 10:59 pm Gregg Lewis sent an email to his voice student saying he was moving studio class tomorrow to friday. He said he would only move the class for FLUNK DAY. <-- And for the mandatory rehearsals for his out-of-town gig. Gregg doesn't know when Flunk Day is, and if he did, he probably wouldn't even realize he had a studio class scheduled for the same day.<br />
<br />
11:45 pm: Just checked all the campus parking lots (and I mean ALL OF THE PARKINGZ) and there was no sign of Helmut's convertible. <----two years ago he was dropped off and his car was not on campus <--- I searched also. I suspect he was dropped off.<br />
<br />
11:50pm: Kaitlyn Duling: If you can make Flunk Day not tomorrow, I will personally buy you band aids for your feet. I will find the same ones Bieber puts on his fingers. http://www.vulture.com/2010/09/justin_bieber_wears_band_aids.html <----Kaitlyn does love Bieber. Possible mystery flunk performer!? <--- I really hope it's not Bieber, I'd rather jump into shark-infested waters during a feeding frenzy<br />
<br />
12:03 AM: The mail server is down! Clearly a conspiracy to indicate they are preparing the flunk day email...<--CONFIRMED <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <--No one reads Steve Hall's emails. <--CONFIRMED <--- BUT WE DIDN'T GET A WARNING ABOUT SYSTEM MAINTENANCE! HE ALWAYS SENDS THOSE! <--[http://www.knox.edu/offices-and-services/information-technology-services/help-desk-support/news-and-alerts.html Check it out], email migration started at midnight.<br />
<br />
12:27 AM: STOP DELETING THIS DAY<br />
<br />
12:29 AM: XKCD updated and it's about the end of the world. Obviously, tomorrow's Flunk Day: http://xkcd.com/1046/<br />
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12:33 AM: Seniors holding mystery meeting at Cherry Street tonight? Can someone confirm? <--- Confirmed that they're fucking with us! Cherry Street is closed! <---- LOL! Now the Seniors know how much it sucks to fuck with the underclassmen! <br />
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12:35am: Seniors are aware !!! TOMORROW (or today) <b>IS NOT FLUNK DAY!</b> <---- planning a scare DOES NOT mean that they KNOW flunk day is not tomorrow. they don't find out this early <----- They planned a scare last year on the real Flunk Day. That doesn't matter. <br />
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12:43 AM: Gizmo calendar next to the register reads '''FLUNK DAY!''' This is clearly a sign that it's Flunk Day. <--- Pics or it didn't happen. <-- http://imgur.com/55377 Had to take it close because crappy phone camera. This could be HUGE <-- CONFIRMED<br />
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12:49 AM: I'm 12 and what is this? <--- What is this I don't even<br />
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1:06 AM: There's something on the calendar about little kids coming to campus to learn languages. Can anyone confirm if this is real? <-- yes they do it in GDH every Monday<br />
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1:20 AM: 40 seniors were pranked (?) into thinking that they were friars. Phone number is based in North Carolina and the only two people that are from NC are Clarke Cuthbert (no longer going to Knox) and Krista Nordgren, both seniors. <---Can't forget Rachel L.!<br />
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1:57am-Rumor is the friar emails just went out!! Can someone confirm this? <---Server is up, but emails are probably a hoax. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
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1:59 am: Silly Bands are on all of Seymour 3A's doors IT IS FUCKING FLUNK DAY<--What's a silly band and what does this mean??? <<-- Pictures, man, PICTURES! We crave sensible evidence! <----- [[File:Photo_on_2012-04-23_at_02.14.jpg]] ON ALL OF 3A's door knobs but not 3B WHYYYY???<br />
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2:26 AM: It's Clint Davis's birthday today! Clearly this is a conspiracy and it has to be Flunk Day in honor of the coolest guy on campus. Happy Birthday Clint!<br />
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2:34 AM: Server is down again.<br />
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2:49am- There seems to be some activity around Tompkins apartments. Doesn't Jil live there? <- CONFIRMED!<br />
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3:12 AM- Javier and Teresa were spotted by the train tracks hitting Javier's four-footer. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
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4:36 AM: Everyone has gone to sleep, seemingly giving up speculating about a monday flunkpocalypse. I am left alone, cold, and procrastinating to hold out against all odds. This could be huge. <-------- You're never alone in the hunt for the Flunk.<br />
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5:12 AM: HELMUT IS HERE! Just saw him walking towards seymour as i walked out to go back to post. <--Does he normally got to breakfast?<br />
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6:06 AM: No email, not flunk day.<br />
<br />
== April 24th ==<br />
Everything disappeared because the final flunk is April 23rd, there is no April 24th. The world will end after the final flunk!!! So line up the shots, break into your stash, jump in the mud pit and flunking have a flunking fun flunk day!!!<br />
<br />
No promise that the 23rd is flunk day but if it isn't we will have to wait until at least Wednesday as there are home softball games on Tuesday. Confirmation on opponents schedule: http://www.mac.edu/athletics/softball/scores.asp <-- Athletic events can be fake. And even if this one isn't, Flunk Day has flunked up athletic events in the past. <--- Flunk Day has occurred on days where there have been away sporting events, not any home ones though. And this ISN'T fake. That was the point in showing the opponents schedule, MacMurray would not put it on their website if it were not actually going to occur. <-- Unless they don't know it's not going to occur...<-- Why isn't MacMurray softball on the Knox events calendar? Suspicious...<br />
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Zumba is cancelled! <br />
<br />
Forrest thinks Flunk Day is today. Forrest always knows. <-- Hippie Forrest? He thought yesterday was flunk day.<br />
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9:20am DINING SERVICES RECEIVING FOOD SHIPMENT RIGHT NOW. <-- I thought they already received the Flunk food? <---- the caf gets a food shipment every weekday. irrelevant<br />
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9:30am What do the Flunk Day shirts look like this year? <--- Sad and grey, like the fact that they didn't do student-designed shirts again. <-- Have you seen the 2010 shirts? Horrible! <--- Sad? who are you kidding- in four years this is the ONLY shirt I WANT to buy and have bought! and it is not typical for a student-designed contest... last year was the only hear I heard of it.<br />
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10:07am Dean Breitborde cancels Tuesday's Curriculum Committee meeting, very rare. <-- http://i40.tinypic.com/2yyo9xk.png <--re-post with the to and from, the image looks sketchy. < -- first of all, go fuck yourself. Sketchy? incorrect: http://i40.tinypic.com/15yewdx.jpg Some people are great flunktectives, you aren't. <---Looks damn credible. The Final Flunk is upon us. <br />
Didn't Larry clear his whole schedule for flunk day last year??? This could be important... anyone have a meeting cancelled with him later in the day??<br />
<br />
12:20pm Grab n Go staff worker says we'll be anticipating Flunk Day for a couple of weeks yet. Trying to throw us off the scent?<--Who, Marla? She's totally flunking with you.<-- No I heard that Helmut hinted to her that it won't be in April. But he could be lying. <br />
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Tuesday (this day) is the Bradley Girl Talk trip. Buses have been reserved. Students have paid for tix. doesn't bode well for flunkage.<---Could be a hoax to throw people off. Not much advertising for this event. The buses could be used for friars... <-- does flunk day have an official end time? If students are not supposed to leave for girl talk until after dinner, they could just have a really long day. <-- Flunk Day is from 6:30am to 11:00pm. Technically. <-- I have staunchly believed that this Girl Talk excursion has been fake since the day we received that email. Yes, students paid for tickets...but that money can easily be refunded. They only sold tickets for two days, from 5:30-7:30. Usually when Union Board tables they at least try to do some lunch hours. The whole thing seems sketchy as flunk...and since it's a Union Board activity, they can EASILY cancel it. And I'm pretty sure that people wouldn't be upset about missing out on this in order to celebrate Flunk Day. < -- It is also really weird that the trip is not on Union Board's facebook events page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Knox-College-Union-Board/233752620674?sk=events <br />
**It is a known fact that Jil Gates is friends with the Bradley director-- The concert is a cover up as the receptionist for Bradley had no idea that Knox was coming to the concert!!! --- PROOF?? This could be huge. <-- Tickets to the Girl Talk concert are sold to the public through Ticketmaster, so of course the receptionist had no idea what you were talking about. <-- If they were sold through Ticketmaster, it is possible that they were never purchased at all. <br />
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74 Degrees and party cloudy. Sounds like some good flunking weather.<br />
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Regina sent out the work schedule for Flunk Day. Proof that it could be reallllllly soon! <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<br />
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Received a text from a friend and Flunk observer in DeKalb at NIU: "I just saw a truck pulling some carnival equipment and I think it is going to Galesburg for The Final Flunk. Nevermind if it was going the wrong way, it's probably to confuse everyone." THIS COULD BE HUGE. <-- Ha.<br />
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4:53pm: Saw Jil Gates walking from downtown area. Dressed in Grey and Black- looked sketchy... must have been on a FLUNK DAY mission... what else brings her out of her office before 6pm! Last minute errands for FLUNK DAY!!!!<br />
<br />
Lance Factor cancelled wednesday's Environmental Ethics course because he knows we'll all be too hungover to come to class.<br />
Monica Berlin also cancelled her evening class tomorrow for a mysterious play that her son is in at school that she knew nothing about, except that the theme is "Individuality." Strange how so many professors are cancelling classes...<-- also Monica never cancels class...and what kind of parent doesn't know anything about their son's play? And wouldn't she have known for a while and could have told her class earlier in the term? <---what kind of play is on a Tuesday night? <---Gabe Raley emailed ANSO 103 to lighten the work load...MORE TIME 2 FLUNK.<br />
<br />
Sketchy things observed by seniors during the scare this morning: <br/> (Also, These are true. These things happened. I would not shit you. But whether or not they predict Flunk Day as tomorrow remains to be seen.) <br/><br />
1. Craig Southern was in his office at 5:50am...not quite normal, right? Regardless of if lottery numbers are stressing him out, why would he show up to work two hours early? Answer: getting extra work done because he knows that Tuesday is Flunk Day. <br/> <br />
2. As we ran by the first-year side of Post and continued back towards Hamblin/Exec, a custodial worker yelled at us "You guys have the wrong day! It's tomorrow!" <br/><br />
3. Jack Moore was absent, yet he participated in the previous Epic Scare. According to several sources, he got 12 hours of sleep last night, from 10pm to 10am. Why? Preparation for Flunk of course! <-----------Or, he does this every night, because he is a huge blower lame. <----nah, he's just HUGE. <br />
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10:17 PM Just spotted Xavier at America's Best Value with a four foot bong!!!!! <----confirmed!! THIS COULD BE HUGE! <--- QUADRUPLE CONFIRMED...ONCE FOR EACH FOOT OF HIS BONG!<br />
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it's too calm here <--probably because everyone was so disappointed this morning that no one wants to get their hopes up. also it's only 10:34<br />
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HAM! for flunk day! <---- and SNACKS!! <-- ???<br />
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11:16 PM C'mon people, is no one else here? Let's not get disheartened. Anything seem suspicious? ANYWHERE? <--- The fact that there is nothing suspicious is suspicious! < -- Suspected calm before the storm.<br />
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Did anyone think that maybe all the action last night was a distraction? that all the pre-FLUNK action was done last night in an attempt to throw us off. and tonight the inactivity is to make us unaware of FLUNK DAY tomorrow. they want us to be discouraged by getting our hopes high for April 23 when the actual FLUNK is April 24.. <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
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Campus Safety sent TKS the Campus Safety Log today instead of Tuesday. Katy Sutcliffe has written it for three years and says that has NEVER ONCE HAPPENED. Flunk Day must be tomorrow so they had to write it today!<br />
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Debbie Southern just emailed me to make an appointment for tomorrow. Possible evidence against flunk day? Possibly just flunking with us?<--- why is debbie southern still awake?<--staying up late for the Flunk? THIS COULD BE HUGE<---Dibbie is sick. No appointments tomorrow. '''Lawl. '''This could also be huge.''''''<br />
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12:56 AM Alum, Carlyse Owens, living in Chicago area, feeling the Flunk. Must be Flunk Day<br />
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12:57 AM Lights on in Mailroom <-- Pics or it didn't happen.<--Can anyone confirm? <----Confirmed! But no lights behind the boxes. <--- Saw some weird-looking things in mailboxes, could have just been unchecked spam mail, could be something more?<br />
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2:00 AM- It smells bad outside. Flunk Funk?<br />
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4:34 AM- Caf and Dining Service lights are on. Several workers have been spotted. Lots of movement. Preparing Flunk breakfast? #ithinkso <------ Can anyone confirm? <--- Confirmed! Working in the Rodge Lodge and I hear lots of movement upstairs. Also #hashtagsaredumb<br />
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4:0? AM- Senior Alex L heard singing down the stairs of the Yellows. Friar?<br />
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5:28 AM group of frosts gathering by the Townhouses <----- CAN ANYONE CONFIRM? CAUSE THIS COULD BE FREAKING HUGE.<br />
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5:45 AM FLUNK FAIL. <br />
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6:04 Not today folks, nope.<br />
<br />
== April 25th ==<br />
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Too bad Flunk Day wasn't Monday... now it won't even be a surprise. Union Board Fail. I am disappoint. <- seconded. <- everyone's always disappointed in Union Board <- CONFIRMED <- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <-THIS COULD BE HUGE <- THIS IS ALREADY HUGE <- THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID <- UNION BOARD STILL SUCKS <- CONFIRMED <br />
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John Spittell and Daniel Beers both think Flunk Day is Wednesday. Done deal. <-- Beers is my boy.<br />
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Zazen meditation is the only event on the calendar. Is it Flunk or is it foolery?<br />
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They added a photo exhibit to the schedule, but it's at the Civic Art Center. Trying to throw us off the scent of Flunk?<br />
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Sam Martone's official prediction says sam martone sucks. So he obviously does <--CONFIRMED <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <--THIS COULD BE HUGE <- TRIPLE CONFIRMED. <br />
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This is definitely the day of flunk just going on a whim here<br />
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If this isn't the sanctioned date of Flunk Day, the school should revolt and flunk anyways. No more scares. GIVE US THE FINAL FLUNK! <--CONFIRMED <--DOUBLE CONFIRMED <-- TRIPLE CONFIRMED. We need to make sure the whole school knows!<br />
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Debbie Southern cancelled an important weekly meeting because the 25th is Secretary's Day... A lame cover-up if you ask me.<br />
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Today is Flunk Day. Yep.<br />
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The suspected musical guest is Gym Class Heroes. On their tour they are in Macomb on the 23rd and then in NY on the 28th. Why the break? FLUNK DAY OF COURSE. <--- Bands take breaks on tour for any variety of reasons. There are also gaps like this in their schedule for May, too. <--- We all know bands always have gaps in their tour schedules. Clearly the original poster doesn't mean they're taking a break FOR flunk day, just that there's always the option that they can be here... <-- It has been reported on the Facebook page today that Gym Class is too expensive... http://www.facebook.com/events/413379372024883/ who could it be???<br />
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There are fifteen prospies coming Wednesday, so today is probably notttt the day. 5 of them are due to stay overnight also. <--- prove it. FLUUUNK DAY BETCHES! <--- Admissions has been known to make-up prospects to visit on flunk day so this is just more evidence that this IS flunk day <----Prospies can be here on flunk day. <-------- ALSO, three different people working with admissions have told me three different numbers of prospies for Wednesday. Sketchy? <---- Proof for Prospies on flunk day: I stayed overnight on Flunk Day last year.<br />
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It's going to be rainy as fuck. Indoor flunks? Flunk in the rain? <--- they always set a rain date for Flunk Day, so if it's pouring out, Flunk Day will be postponed and we would be none the wiser... <--Ummm I thought the company they used was from like Florida or some coast, I'm sure once the date is chosen after a certain time, whether rain or shine they can't turn back on it. SO FLUNK THE RAIN! It will only make for a better mudpit!<---- It's not going to be "rainy as fuck." Learn how much 30-40% chance actually means. <-- It means the weatherpeople don't got their shit straight. <---Before you get angry maybe you should check the forecast again idiot<br />
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Williston's janitor Gary said in passing that today's the day. Someone needs to find out what he knows!<br />
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It is today if it is indeed this week. :) hi <--The campus life calendar is not trustworthy.<br />
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All Day: Beta's seen being idiots, everyday. Flunk day doesnt matter when your always awesome <---CONFIRMED <-----you're* <---Bad grammar doesn't matter when they're just proving their point about being idiots. <----Exactly why I pointed it out.<br />
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There are only two online assignments lined up for phys 167, when there are normally enough to cover at least a week and a half. Schulz must be preparing to cover Wednesday's material on Friday! <-- This MUST be the case. The Physics department knows all!<br />
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Craig Southern sent out an email earlier today in which he said all housing applications are to be picked up Wednesday (April 25th) and filled out and returned the next day. Would he tell people to pick up housing applications on flunk day?<----Those who are going to apply for a single better be on their shit. <----why would he know/care? <-- He also just sent out an e-mail saying that the forms are due on Thursday at 4PM, but he did not say anything about Wednesday.<--- Yeah he did, "all applications will be available beginning tomorrow (Wednesday) in the Campus Life Office."<br />
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Flunk Day is ruining my life. <br />
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HAM! on flunk day!<br />
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10:30am Helmut has dining services staff member Denise prepare the cucumber sauce for tomorrow's gyro bar this morning. Sign of no flunk?<br />
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11:40am theyre mowing the lawns <-- they mowed the lawns yesterday! double mow since they won't be able to mow around the moon bounce and dance party tomorrow.<br />
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Prophetic dream that flunk day was tomorrow. Also, in dream, Jil Gates was going around saying "why do you assume that flunk day has to only last for one day?" My dreams have been proven true 25% of the time. <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
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3:27 p.m. George with the really long hair who graduated last year spotted on campus! He must BE BACK FOR FLUNK DAY! Alumni always know! <-- He has been back for about a week. SNU was doing a thing. <-he came back for SNU's activation<br />
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3:10pm important chem 399 ACS speaker rescheduled to speak next Wednesday. <---I'm in chem 399 too, can you back this up?<br />
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3:50 p.m. A group of ol dmen, maybe Alumni, walking towards CFA. Overheard one ask, "Well? Is it going to be Flunk Day tomorrow?" Another, looking like he had authority, said, "No. It's not." They were all dressed in suits. one carried a roller briefcase. Another was wearing a bowler hat. <-there was only one set of footprints in the sand. when asked why, Jesus responded "sand people ride single file to hide their numbers"<br />
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4:10 p.m. Helmut just left campus in his red convertible. I work in the caf, so I know he usually works until 6-7ish. Getting ready for an early morning?<br />
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4:09 pm Kathleen Drake sent an email to Williston about damages on Flunk Day. WHY WAIT UNTIL NOW?<br />
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5:10 pm Jack Moore and Kaitlyn Duling exiting Jil Gates's apartment. Last minute flunk planning?<br />
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I LOVE FLUNK DAY <-- I LOVE YOU AND FLUNK DAY <---CONFIRMED <---This not only COULD be huge, IT '''IS''' HUGE! <-- CONFIRMED<br />
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The Quickie man thinks wednesday is the day!!<br />
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5:19 PM: JPow cancels his fifth period microeconomics class because he's "going out of town tomorrow". Going out of town, or getting started early for THE FINAL FLUNK?! <--- NO. He's definitely not getting ready for an early flunk. Trust me. <- Jpow does not think tomorrow is flunk day.<br />
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6:20pm: I went to buy gin at the Quickie and this was my conversation with the Quickie guy: <br/><br />
Quickie Guy: "Only one more day!" <br/><br />
Me: "Do you think it's tomorrow?" <br/><br />
QG: "It's ''always'' tomorrow." <br/><br />
Me: "Yeah, you're right..." <br/><br />
QG: "But no I think it's tomorrow. I just have a feeling." <br/><br />
BAM. Quickie Guy has a feeling. Start drinking. -->> ALREADY STARTED. <br />
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6:30 PM Seniors seen purchasing flunk day materials at Hyvee and Walmart. Let the games begin. <- [http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/22400000/Jack-Sparrow-GIF-johnny-depp-22453636-500-190.gif a problem we won't be having] <-liz? <br />
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7:01 PM around 10-11 hours from now, we shall all be flunking.<br />
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7:08 PM Josh Balk texted Lexi Vernon saying that EMT class was canceled for tonight because he was "stuck on a call." Obviously, he just wants a good night's sleep before he's extra busy ambulancing people from the Final Flunk.<br />
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7:12 PM Seniors are preparing Jello shots for the final flunk. <--- Don't seniors do this on a daily basis? <--- Speaking as a senior, yes. Every day. Jello shots.<br />
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Approx. 6 PM: Saw Teresa Amott walking around with the man in the bowler hat and the man with the rolling suitcase. They were carrying four-foot bongs. <<--CONFIRMED<br />
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A student in Professor Fowler's class said that he knows tomorrow is Flunk Day because he can PREDICT THE FUTURE. <---Seems legit. <-- THE LEGITIMACY OF THIS KNOWLEDGE IS OUT OF ANYONE'S CONTROL!!!!! LEGIT FLUNK NOW AND FOREVER!!! WE WILL RISE TO SEE A NEW FUTURE OF FLUNK AND FRIVOLITY!!! FOREVER AND EVER UNTIL DOOMSDAY DO WE PART! <-----Fowler is always legit. And always very very good looking! I say we believe him!<br />
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Approx. 7:30 p.m. Jack Moore spotted wearing Flunk Day shirt in caf. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW GUYS.<br />
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'''THIS IS BIG!!! earlier today two students drove past a large, ELECTRIC PURPLE TOUR BUS on MAIN STREET. Our musical guest?!?!?!?!?!?!?''' <-----only logical guess is then PRINCE. <--- pics or it didn't happen. <--- I don't have a smart phone, SORRY but you're just going to have to trust a fellow knoxer. <br />
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Suspected Musical Guest: Rebecca Black. <- Confirmed by Craig Southern <-- This is only ok if she performs the Flunk Day version of "Friday". <----everyone would puke up their alcohol consumption of the day<br />
<br />
Earlier today a unusual moving truck was spotted parked near the HyVee http://thewikifire.org/images/3/39/Truck.jpg <--legit. ,<-- CONFIRMED SAW THAT TRUCK LAST NIGHT DRIVING CIRCLES AROUND TOWN.<br />
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8:18 PM Flunking Flunk should just Flunk.<br />
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Flunk Day is coming. The Starks are always right eventually. <-----CONFIRMED<br />
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8:30 Former Flunk Day [http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/23/flunkdayplaners.jpg Planers] spotted flying into Peoria.<br />
<br />
Today, Nancy Eberhardt told her ANSO 326 class to be "awake and cheery and ready for a great class discussion" on Thursday. Suspicious? I think Yes.<br />
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8:40pm hyvee wine and spirits worker says he has seen a lot of knox customers today and damn do we drink a lot, way to keep it classy <-you were clearly there as well, so flunk off. <-- Cool flunk spirit, bro. ^^ o are you just upset that you cant legally buy booze yet? sucks to suck. <--We stimulate the Galesburg economy with our purchases of vodka and gummy bears.<br />
<br />
9:04 PM Jill Gates' door closes fairly hard....Flunk Day?<br />
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9:12 PM- Forgot to post this earlier. Three unmarked white vans circled campus several times this morning around second period. These were NOT the vans that are normally passing the school to carry train workers to the yard. Vendors checking out the space for tomorrow? The FBI? Javier's vans full of bongs? <--The FBI has black SUVs. Don't you watch Criminal Minds <--- they had Indiana plates. Gotta look at that shit. There was also a softball game going on.<br />
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9:16 PM ERHMAGEHRD... FLERHHNK DERRRHHH<br />
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9:20pm - my Danielle Fatkin class for tomorrow was cancelled 'due to illness'... COULD THAT BE COVERUP FOR FLUNK? ---> No, professors don't know when it is Flunk-->And anyway if they did know, there would be no reason to cancel class. Logic, people. Use it. <-- I know that. It's called hype. Stop spoilers. <--- CONFIRMED. DANIELLE FATKIN IS THE FLUNK DAY QUEEN! <---- Whoever confirmed this is an idiot!!! <---- CONFIRMED <--- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <---You're an idiot. I'LL BE FLUNKING LONG BEFORE YOU EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. <--- Dude, she always cancels class.<br />
<br />
The Senate Exec debates are tomorrow, would they really cancel that for Flunk Day?.....I think yes! =D <--- Depending on when they sent it in, it won't matter <--- very unclear response! IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW!!! <--- Already have back-up plans on Facebook page, asshole! <-- I was being genuine. <br />
<br />
My friend said she's planning to finger herself tomorrow, would she really plan to masturbate if tomorrow was FLUNK DAY???? <-- Who wouldn't masturbate on Flunk Day. <--- Everyone who gets laid.<br />
<br />
Helmut seen driving around Galesburg near HyVee. What would he be doing at 9:30 on a Tuesday night if it wasn't flunk day?! <--Confirmed! <--- Pics or it didn't happen!<br />
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9:34pm- Jil Gates apartment lights are off. They are never off. Definitely Flunk Day. <-- isn't she at the Girl Talk thing? <--- SUPPOSEDLY. that's what she said today. but who really knows? is anyone's friends there? can they confirm Jil's presence????<br />
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9:51pm-Seniors seen being sketchy by Hamblin/Tompkins. <--- What else is new?<--Even if tomorrow's not Flunk Day, logic says there'll be a scare, so of course seniors are sketch.<br />
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The baseball coaches were having a private meeting after the games today and a player overheard them saying it was flunk day tomorrow.<-- Wait, would they know? <--- BASEBALL COACHES KNOW ALL! START DRINKING!!!<br />
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Someone said that a fire marshal said it was flunk day on wednesday. <--- I overheard my sister talking to a friend who heard her uncle tell his brother-in-law that Jesus talked to Ghandi about Flunk Day 2012, Ghandi told Jesus that it was on May 25th. <--- emergency services are told nothing of impending Flunkitude. I've tried getting info from the paramedics I do ride-alongs with, but they had none to give, and were not happy about it.<br />
<br />
945 pm jack Moore seen driving away from campus. Last seen heading north on academy <--Seniors in pursuit. Will report back.<br />
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10:10 pm Jack Moore seen walking with a group of seniors on West Street towards Post<br />
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10:15 pm - Went to the 4th stall in Seymour 3 and found shit in the bowl in the shape of an "F." Gotta be Flunk Day. Thanks for the heads up, Alphie!<br />
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10:20pm Miss Maggie is in the kitchen. Is she making vegan flunk day breakfast treats for her Mu Mu sisters? <--Confirmed! Tomorrow is flunk day! <-- Miz Maggie save me somadat vegan fixins! Guuuuurl dont forget the pot butter!<br />
<br />
Beautiful late night story telling....FLUNK DAY. How much more proof do you need?<br />
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10:15 The Quickie man told me that at this time, (I had arrived 15 minutes later) a large group of "Outsiders" had come into the quickie, along with a lot of vehicle traffic during the day. This could be huge.<br />
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10:30pm Caf lady seen pushing half-empty garbage can with empty bags in it from Seymour to the loading dock <-- also mail room doors closed and paper only on one window.. ---> pics??<br />
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10:52pm seen a long ass-white truck driving towards where there is hotels at. Could this be flunk day stuff? I think so! <--- What does ass-white look like? Is it kind of like an eggshell white? <- CONFIRMED<br />
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11:04pm - just got pulled over by the cops. apparently failed to signal?! As the cop comes back with the ticket : "Why all the liquor in the back. Are a Knox kid?" Me: "Yes" Cop: "Oh, I didn't know they were telling you guys when flunk day is" Me: "They don't! But everyone thinks it is tomorrow!" Cop: "Ha ha ha, guess they are right. They told us in our shift meeting to expect drunk students in the morning hours" ....Since this i love the cops (at least until they bust us the next time.) <---- Can you confirm? I just texted someone on GPD who heard nothing about this....doubtful!<br />
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11:11pm http://i.imgur.com/uwb2y.jpg<br />
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11:31pm I smelled outside. It smelled like Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
11:32pm Just FYI, Blink 182 has a purple tour bus http://images.travelpod.com/tw_slides/ta00/a59/198/we-slept-next-to-44s-tour-bus-blink-182-riegelwood.jpg They are also a group, have had a song in the billboard top 100, and they don't have to be in Oklahoma until May 10th!!!!!!! FLUNK DAY BREAK?!?!?! <---If we really cant afford Gym Class, this is not even remotely close to possible, that being said, it would be awesome <---coming from arguably THE biggest blink fan on campus, there is no way its them. They're in rehearsal for a short european stint and Bamboozle. I follow all members on twitter and they're all rehearsing in Los Angeles california as of today. that said, I would go into a coma if they played here.<br />
<br />
Guys, clearly they got Swedish rock band Europe to play for us. Final Flunk needs Final Countdown.<br />
<br />
11:38pm Activity spotted in campus life! VIDEO PROOF: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0 <---- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
11:39 PM OH LOOK AT ME I CAN POST A POEM TOO, LOOK AT HOW ARTISTIC I AM. REFRIGERATOR. --> pics or it didn't happen!!!!!!!!!!!! <- [http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/there-it-goes-the-last-fuck-i-give.gif proof] <- James? <-that gif is awesome <- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
11:45pm Prospie in the admissions suite<----LIAR!!!!!! <---- PROSPIES BEING HERE DON'T MATTER. STOP CARING ABOUT THE PROSPIES<br />
<br />
11:49pm- THE WORDEN SEEN NAKED THRU WINDOW MUST BE FLUNK DAY! (changing... yes i watch... im from asain house.)<br />
<br />
11:50pm: Kaitlyn just showed up in Regina's suite unexpectedly! <---- FALSE, they don't even go here. <br />
<br />
11:55pm: Sienna is talking to herself in founders. <----CONFIRMED, SO LOUD.<br />
<br />
12:01am-There are A LOT of vehicles in the Holiday Inn Express Parking lot for a Tuesday night in Galesburg. Including a truck carrying a large pulley system. Flunk Day Equipment. Yes. <---- Can anyone confirm? Pics? <---I can confirm. Was also at the Comfort Inn?, or another galesburg hotel (checked many), there earlier, three trailers attached to trucks and vans. In the back of one of the trucks was what i believe was a large air compressor, perfect for inflatables<br />
<br />
12:03 a.m. Helm's Deep has fallen, and it did it with weird subtitles. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW.<------False Helm's Deep never falls. Unless you see trees moving around campus, not sure what this has to do with Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
12:11 a.m. - The math problems to edit the wikifire are getting harder. Trying to inhibit communication? FLUNK. --> It's because we're all already drunk --> CONFRIRMED<br />
<br />
STOP TALKING ABOUT THE MUDPIT. CAMPUS SAFETY CAN USE THE INTERNET TOO.<br />
<br />
12:21 Saw the Knox Fox partying with the Betas. It's so Flunk Day.<br />
12:24 Tom Axtell is acting like Robert De Niro. DEFINITELY Flunk Day. <----CONFIRMED! THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
12:23 am.: Kaitlin Duling and Regina seen LEAVING A SUITE TOGETHER while WEARING BACKPACKS.<br />
<br />
12:23 am: Got a text from a friend: "Way suspicious semi in a dark corner of the menards lot. Unmarked." (they're going back for pics)<br />
<br />
12:43 a.m. Lights on in the mail room, but not behind the boxes. Nothing covering the windows. <---- Try at like 4 or 5 AM. That's when they actually stuff mailboxes. <--- not true, Neil told me he had to spend the night in the mailroom once because if he left at 2AM, students would know it was flunk day.<br />
<br />
I'm flunking tomorrow, I guess today, regardless of whether it is flunk day or not. Just saying.<br />
<br />
12:47 a.m.: Jill Gates seen entering Campus Life Office! Why else would she do so unless tomorrow is El Dia de Flunk?? <--- To throw us off maybe. But this COULD be HUGE!!! Any confirmations? <---- i'm sure this is true, but i'm sure they just got back from the girl talk concert.<br />
<br />
1:02 am: Another text: "We nearly definitively found flunk day. Lots of trucks and vans with equipment and out of state license plates at holiday inn express. Have pics" (awaiting pics)<--It's been a half an hour. <br />
<br />
1:05 am: [[Andy Glass]] is [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ]<br />
<br />
Miss Congeniality got it right. <br />
Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date. <br />
Cheryl "Rhode Island": That's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.<br />
<br />
1:18 am: I haven't had sex since November 22, tomorrow please be flunk day so I can get laid by some drunk girl! <-- and the award for sleaziest comment on the Wiki Fire goes to... <--- To the loser who can't get laid: I pity you. <--- November 22 is my birthday!!! But yeah this post... < As a girl who's not yet had her first kiss, let alone get laid, you, sir, are pathetic. <-- What happened to consent v. rape?? <--- The fact that I need to get girls drunk to get laid isn't pathetic, it's called game #winning <--- Actually it's called being a dick. Congratulations on being a man-slut. <-- CONFIRMED! <-- Hey, original poster. If you get girls drunk to have sex with them, you are a rapist. The girls cannot give consent when they are inebriated, and you are taking advantage of that. <br />
<br />
1:27 Helmut spotted walking down Cherry Street with Roger Taylor and Jesus. THIS COULD BE HUGE! <---False, they were just on their way to Cherry Street Restaurant to break up a barfight between Doctor Doom and a gang of velociraptors. NOT a Flunk Day sign.<br />
<br />
<br />
1:19am lights in the mail room are on, nothing in mailboxes as of yet kitchen lights are on but no movement. Suspicious grey sedan pulled up next to seymour. 4 people got out and went to the mail room, 3 minutes late 2 people get back in the car and leave. Something smell flunky?<br />
<br />
^That picture is fucking huge <--- CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
1:48 AM Activity heard, but not seen, outside Jill Gates' apartment.<br />
<br />
1:49 AM William Shatner seen leaving Jill Gates' apartment with a false beard and a stovepipe hat. Celebrity Lincoln impersonator? <--- Was Takei dressed as Mary Todd? <-- ALL OF THIS. WANT.<br />
<br />
2:02 am inside sources tell me that Los Lonely Boys are the mystery performers <--- they have to be in Denver by tomorrow night (the 26th). I doubt their flunkiness bro.<------ pokerface.jpg<br />
<br />
2:12 am Suspicious white vehicle parked with lights on outside Seymour loading dock. Engine on, looks to be a four door car. <--------------------------HUGE,<br />
<br />
2:16 am Two female passengers in black, one carrying a bag, exit white vehicle and get into another car parked on the sidewalk. White car pulls away <------------------THIS COULD BE.<br />
<br />
No updates?!? C'mon guys!<br />
<br />
3:08 am Can't get a hold of a lot of seniors ... are they conspiring? Sleeping to prep for flunk day awesomeness?<br />
<br />
3:32 am The campus is eerily quiet.<br />
<br />
3:45 am - Asked a security guard if it was Flunk day and he said, "Between you and me, nope. Not today." Could be messing with me but I don't think its Flunk Day. Poop.<br />
<br />
4:10 am - New Video Found on Youtube! Official Flunk Day Song 2012! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpOwiz_Uj18&context=C42f3887ADvjVQa1PpcFMW2EZLo604zdtchMfNdtl7KxfKHWXvudw= <------------ CONFIRMED <------ this could be HUGE!!!!!! <------- ITS TODAY FOR SURE!<br />
<br />
4:50 am - Caf is open super early... interesting.<br />
<br />
Friars seen gathering <--- That's vague and unhelpful. Where?<br />
<br />
5:50 AM weak scare followed by a flunk fail. it's going to be a long day...<---confirmed.<br />
<br />
<br />
Jil Gates, you should probably expect an angry mob of drunk seniors after senior meeting outside your apartment tonight. <-- And everyone else. <-- oh c'mon you guys!! like they knew everyone would put all their hope into today being flunk day. they planned it months ago. it is no one's fault. just part of the hype. part of the flunk. this is what we have been waiting for ALL YEAR. so deal. quite your whinning please and spanks you. <-- normal hype is fine, but this year the hype became too intense too quickly for the actual day to be this late. instead of being excited and anticipating the day, people are just angry and disappointed when it isn't.<br />
<br />
It looks like this Flunk Day<br />
*Puts on sunglasses*<br />
Failed the test<br />
<br />
Even Gilbert thought it should have been today. This year is insane.<br />
<br />
11:52 am Why the fuck is it not Flunk Day?? #anticlimactic #tiredasfuck<br />
<br />
== <br />
'''APRIL 25: THE NIGHT BEFORE FLUNK DAY''' ==<br />
<br />
<br />
‘Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox<br />
Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox.<br />
The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care,<br />
In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds,<br />
While visions of mud pits danced in their heads.<br />
And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash,<br />
Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter,<br />
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.<br />
Away to the window I flew in a flash,<br />
Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud<br />
Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds.<br />
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,<br />
But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say,<br />
I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day!<br />
More rapid than eagles, the friars they came,<br />
They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name!<br />
Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame!<br />
To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main!<br />
Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
So much effort given there that it has to be Flunk Day<br />
<br />
Since we're going with poetry...<br />
<br />
'''Stopping By Campus on a Flunkin' Evening'''<br />
<br />
Which campus flunks, I think I know.<br />
The clues might be in Galesburg though;<br />
we'd miss the signs, at any rate,<br />
if only Knox is where we go.<br />
<br />
My roommate thinks it really great<br />
to stop his work and stay up late.<br />
Between the drinks I wonder why<br />
the darkened campus lies in wait.<br />
<br />
I give my email one more try<br />
to see if there is some reply.<br />
The only other message stunk:<br />
"It might be Friday." What a lie.<br />
<br />
All Knox is ready, pumped and drunk.<br />
But we have rumors to debunk,<br />
and hours to go before we flunk,<br />
and hours to go before we flunk.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 26th #nope ==<br />
<br />
Are the softball games real? I don't see them on Robert Morris's schedule... http://www.robertmorris.edu/athletics/womenssoftball/schedule/<br />
<br />
The previous link is to the schedule for Robert Morris's Chicago campus' team...This is to the Springfield campus confirming the softball games...http://www.robertmorris.edu/athletics/womenssoftball/springfield/schedule/<br />
<br />
Creepily overheard Kaitlyn making an appointment with Helmut for Thursday whilst in line at the Oak Room. Unless this is a red herring, could it mean Flunk Day won't be this day? <--- isn't she the senate dinning chair?<br />
<br />
I liked "The Night Before Flunk Day" so much that I saved it just in case it got taken off the Wikifire. Whoever wrote it rocks.<br />
<br />
Math homework due date moved from Thursday to Friday. Obviously this is not, as our professor claims, so that he has time to teach us the Laplace Transform, but rather because it is Flunk Day tomorrow.<br />
<br />
12:22 pm Flunk day will not be today, we got pre-enrollment continuing, a home softball double header, the English department award thing, and Bruce Polay is at the Orpheum tonight. Looks like it will be Friday!<--the next English awards aren't announced until May 7th, the Howard Wilson things is just a call for submissions. If an event is at the Orpheum, flunk wouldn't mess it up! <--- Confirmed! Flunk waits for no human!<--Bruce & Friends is on Friday...and he told us today in class that we'd have to go whether it's Flunk Day or not. <--- regardless, this will still not be flunk day, senior day for the softball team I'm pretty sure and I would sure hope that they wouldn't do that to the Seniors. <- no offense but I doubt senior softball day has any bearing on whether or not it's flunk day (I don't think it is though) <- confirmed <--- Ok, if they do that to the softball players I am personally going to rebel and not drink on flunk day, that's right. If you're not at an athlete you have no clue what it means to play one of your last home games. I'm not sure if the AD (Chad Eisele) has any say at all, but I'm sure he would do whatever he could to make it so that a team would not have to play their Senior day games on Flunk day. It is disrespectful to the Seniors, the team as a whole, the coaches, the manager(s) and the athletic trainers and staff. <--- no offense or anything but we are a D-3 school. I doubt they plan flunk day around a game that is maybe planned 6 month in advance, maybe. <---they would. '''flunk day dates were picked in february. that softball game was scheduled at the beginning of the year (September).''" that game is important to the seniors bro. it is their last home game EVER. <br />
<br />
Has the food shipment really come in? I don't think anyone real knows or can someone prove it has?<br />
<br />
1:35 pm Professor Du cancels Friday class. She claims she is taking her other class on a field trip to Chicago, but clearly she just doesn't want to deal with students who have post-Flunk Day hangovers. <---CONFIRMED! Though I'm in that class going to Chicago...in fact I'm driving... <-- She's my advisor and actually is going on that field trip<br />
<br />
No Flunk day yet = cruel and unusual punishment <--- Flunk day occurs more often in May than it does in April<br />
<br />
5:59 PM not going to happen. just calling it now.<br />
<br />
6:10 PM Interviewing Helmut for a newspaper article at 2PM tomorrow. Pretty sure he wouldn't have scheduled that if it were Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
10:56 PM Just heard the ghost of Abraham Lincoln proclaim in the hallways of lower post that today will be flunk day! <-- CONFIRMED! Ghost Lincoln has proclaimed it!<br />
<br />
Hey flunk planners: http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0yi0vxTQ01qkgyzto1_500.png <br />
<br />
For the record: -- from students that work closely with president Amott's office -- Teresa has never said she hates Flunk Day. We don't know where that rumor comes from, but it's BS. Of course it stresses her out, her first Flunk, but that's all. Furthermore she has little to do with when Flunk Day is and will not demand it to be after her installation. She has expressed at a faculty meeting (with many student witnesses) that she is not particularly fond of all the fuss around her installation. So that should not be used as an argument. However, the events planned for after her installation are much more an indication of Flunk Day not happening that week... That being said... FLUNK ON COWBOYS! <-YEE-HAW <-CONFIRMED-HAW <-does this leave hope for the 26th??!? <--- I think more so for the 27th, the 30th or the 1st <--- While Amott may be okay with it happening whenever, there is NO way administration will allow that. They know what to expect from Flunk Day... I say it is happening the 26th, 27th, or not until after her installation. < Amott is head of the administration... So yeah I don't think it'll be too shortly before, but she won't care if she is installed yet or not<br />
<br />
Lights are on in the mail room and the doors are closed. <--- Was anyone inside? Did you see movement? <---No. It's too early for them to be stuffing the boxes. Made that mistake two years ago<br />
<br />
Jack Moore is at senior meeting. Getting primed for tomorrow?<br />
<br />
Spain study abroad students had their Flunk Day TODAY!! Will ours be tomorrow?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Flunk Day: a Haiku<br />
<br />
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck<br />
<br />
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck<br />
<br />
please be tomorrow<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<br />
Caf ladies seen in the caf. What could they be doing at 12:02AM? It must be the final flunk. <---I WANT PROOF. PICS OR DIDN'T HAPPEN <---Smells like a lie <---Smells like flunk spirit <--- Or they ran out of something in the gizmo and needed to go to the caf fridges/freezers to get it. <br />
<br />
So everybody is giving up? Come on!!! It could be the day! Campus safety is driving around more than usual- I've seen them 3 times since I left my dorm an hour ago. They see me rollin', they hatin'...tryna catch me flunkin dirty.<br />
<br />
1:18 am- people heard running around near williston/ fiji yelling FLUNNNKKKK DAAYYYYY<br />
<br />
1:28am: Heard rumors that Flunk Day's not going to be until May. =\<br />
<br />
5:49 am: All quiet. Time to finish studying for that exam. . .<br />
<br />
== <br />
==<br />
'''Flunk Day Sonnet CLXXV'''<br />
<br />
The WikiFire is moving at a trickle,<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Twitter is updating slow,<br />
<br />
Anticipation has paralyzed, crippled,<br />
<br />
Flunk Day, please come tomorrow.<br />
<br />
The Mud Pit has been dug and watered,<br />
<br />
No matter what Knox says it endorses.<br />
<br />
Many mornings our hopes have been slaughtered,<br />
<br />
For we believe the Wiki’s uncited sources.<br />
<br />
We wait, in anticipatory stupor, deprived of power,<br />
<br />
Knowledgeless, hands tied in games of Planners,<br />
<br />
For clues we scour, in dorm rooms cower,<br />
<br />
As Friars conspire to make drunken clamor. <br />
<br />
Waiting for the Final Flunk’s foot to drop,<br />
<br />
Into the Mud Pit’s glittery slop.<br />
<br />
==<br />
<br />
== April 27th ==<br />
If FlunkFood was delivered Monday, April 16th, this would be the last day to serve fresh food. <--- since when does the caf serve us fresh food? <--- Helmut does a very good job with the resources that he has<br />
<br />
Last year Lincoln Fest was Friday and Saturday. This year it's only Saturday. Why did they not plan for another two-day event? the did!! A Friday Flunk Day with a super awesome musical group is kicking off the weekend festivities!<br />
<br />
I know Flunk Day is never on a Friday.. but we have had two emails from Jill about it being on a Friday..<--obviously she is trolling. <--- How do you know? Xavier used to do the same thing.<br />
---False! Tony Gant retold tales of the single Friday Flunk he's experienced. Apparently students looked just as awful on Monday as the usual post-flunk day. But it HAS happened. <-- Please, God, no... Let it not be on this Friday. Not this one.<----Oh god yes let it be friday! <br />
<br />
this is my guess. I doubt they'd do Monday or Tuesday (even if they have "enough days" to clean up before Teresa's thing)... if not it will be like the last week of term. gross.<br />
<br />
It is called 'The Final Flunk' for a reason right?... Final chance to make it a Friday, Final as in right before final exams, just final... <--- THE PERFECT PLAN. Make it on a Friday, prove that we will all just get fucked up all weekend, cancel flunk forever when the school is destroyed. THIS COULD BE HUGE(LY DISAPPOINTING).<br />
<br />
I just made an appointment with Jil for tomorrow afternoon. I don't think it will be tomorrow, guys. <--- Insignificant meetings can be rescheduled. <-- I told her I could meet this afternoon, Friday, or next Monday. She chose Friday. I really don't think she would choose to schedule a meeting then if she would just need to reschedule it later.<br />
<br />
The Pool is closed tonight and tomorrow, why? FLUNK DAY<br />
<br />
Regina was spotted this afternoon with a few others loading large suspicious covered boxes into seymour. Tomorrow will be flunk day. <----The quickie also received a shipment of alcohol today this could be it. <-- The Quckie will receive alcohol shipments as long as there are Knox students to drink it, read: always, plus right now all the seniors are unemployed and depressed and drinking even more than usual. <---That may be true but that in conjunction with other flunkish goings ons could point to flunk day.<br />
<br />
5:27 PM flunk day e-mails have me confused... to flunk or not to flunk?!?? <- always flunk <- flunk fridays <- everyone flunks on friday <- so FLUNK FRIDAY?!?!?!??<br />
<br />
5:51 PM there are installation events EVERY DAY next week, so if it's going to be within the next week AT ALL, this would be the day <--- The installation events don't start until May 3. Do your research.<br />
<br />
6:07 PM There are a bunch of trucks at that hotel again, they're all white... sign??<br />
<br />
6:51 I babysit for my professor and they canceled babysitting for tomorrow. perhaps the kiddos are sick with flunk fever???!<br />
<br />
7:55 PM had to ask the caf ladies a question, walked into the kitchen and surprised them I guess, was immediately hurried out of one area because I wasn't supposed to see some things they were doing... flunk food?!?? <----Confirmed, ive tasted some of our food, I dont want to know what they do to some of it<br />
<br />
8:30 PM WHITE TRUCK SEEN DRIVING PAST GDH<br />
<br />
8:43 PM I stopped giving a fuck.<br />
<br />
== April 30th ==<br />
HAS TO BE FLUNK DAY. <br />
<br />
If flunk day is this week it would be Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. There's a home baseball game on Monday (today) so that makes it unlikely (it is confirmed on Eureka's schedule) Tuesday looks pretty promising with not very many events on the calendar, and Wednesday there are more home baseball games so, again, unlikely (yes I'm aware coaches don't know when flunk day is and that the schedule is made before flunk day is planned, but the planners know what the athletic schedules are and stay away from having flunk day on the day of a home sporting event, it would likely be a very poor situation for both teams and their coaches) In other words, if Flunk Day is not on Tuesday, it looks like we will have to wait another week.<br />
<br />
Vince Rug, senior, has made this his new prediction.<br />
<br />
Red Room interviews are on the 30th. I mean, the CTL probably doesn't know when Flunk Day is, but it seems like a somewhat serious event.<---FALSE not a serious event at all, and no way was it scheduled early enough to get on the list. They'd just reschedule. <---Not serious? Don't mess with Red Room. They can send the dancing Red Room box after you. <br />
<br />
Even though there are baseball games, the Eureka head coach is a Knox alum (he graduated in 09?) and he loovveeesss flunk day. He could totally be in on it.<---Confirmed Clarkey is pretty cool.<br />
<br />
The main stage dance show has 4.5 hours worth of tech rehearsal this day and it cannot be cancelled. Better not be Flunk Day. <--- Flunk Day does not conform to the needs of mortals..<br />
<br />
== May 1st ==<br />
Another conspicuous day of events: Spanish Table, Photo Exhibit, Red Room, and a Family Planning Booth.<br />
The Chicago Knox Club Alumni Relations proclaims May first as Flunk Day<br />
<br />
Well this is probably Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Dress rehearsal for main stage dance show. Not Flunk Day. <--As someone who's been in a Spring mainstage show, rehearsals have zero effect on Flunk Day. We had to show up my freshman year for rehearsal anyways.<br />
<br />
== May 2nd ==<br />
Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
Guys, this was the date of Flunk Day last year. They wouldn't do it on the exact same day twice in a row... or would they? <----CONFIRMED they would!<br />
<br />
Another dress rehearsal for the dance show? Why yes! Not Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
== May 4th ==<br />
Today is National Hoagie Day, which means it is Flunk Day OBVIOUSLY<br />
<br />
9:00am Jill's email says: "THE SUN WILL BURN LIKE NEVER BEFORE." The weather channel projects this to be in the 80s. Flunk Day? Maybe... <----FALSE. They don't know the weather predictions when they choose the date <-- No, but the email was sent yesterday, wasn't it? <br />
<br />
<br />
A Call To Rise: Dance Ensemble Show happening at 7:30pm. Not Flunk Day. <--- Not true. Flunk Day has been on the same day as a dress rehearsal for a dance show in the past. There were plenty of trash cans available in case someone had to vomit <-- Good point about the show. Perhaps not today!<br />
<br />
== May 5th ==<br />
For the first time in Knox history, Flunk Day will be held on a ''Saturday''. Teresa Amott's installation will begin with the usual speeches and fanfare, when suddenly Zombie Lincoln will parachute in with a ghetto blaster and declare, "THIS TRULY IS . . . THE FINAL FLUNK!" at which he will begin a playlist consisting of every Flunk-themed song remake ever made. The Final Flunk will continue through every day until the end of term. Everyone will get As. Teresa will not only be known as Knox's first lady president, but also Knox's dopest president. <-- CONFIRMED! The DOPEST!<br />
<br />
== May 7th ==<br />
Today will be FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
This is going to be the start of the first week with Teresa as our new president. What better way to celebrate with Flunk Day?? It will be her first Flunk day EVER and her first as the president!<br />
<br />
If Flunk Day is any day this week, it's going to be WAY too late. Everyone will be so flunking drained from getting their hopes up that we'll all just be cranky and tired. <-- CONFIRMED. I'm doing my homework all day if it's this late, yo. <---It's been this late before! Flunk day was on May 8th in 2007, May 7th in 2001 and May 6th in 2009<br />
<br />
My boss (one of the custodial workers) told me that Teresa doesn't want Flunk Day to be before her inauguration. It is a national event and she wants to keep the campus nice. . .<br />
<-- As much as I hope we don't have to wait that long, it makes the most sense. This is a big Knox event. Teresa is only the 19th president in 175 years and the first women to be president of Knox. All eyes will be on the campus and I doubt her and the other up and ups would want the campus looking like it just got hit by a natural disaster before the big day.<br />
<br />
This whole week is installation week; all sorts of things planned to celebrate her installation. Little chance it will be this week <-- do you think these were planned when the date was picked? The website an emails just recently announced what is happening... Wouldn't it be funny if Flunk day Flunks with the presidents events! <---You're thinking of the previous week. All the installation stuff precedes the actual installation, which is on May 5th.<br />
<br />
Installation week goes until May 9 and has been scheduled since forever. Whether or not specific events are planned for this day, there will be a ton of important people and alumni in town. Chances of Flunk Day being today? ZERO POINT ZERO ZERO PERCENT.<br />
<br />
== May 8th ==<br />
What are these fake showcases? Will they wait until Teresa is officially our President to bring the flunk? <---yes! there is too much planning that goes into events like the installation to flunk it up with Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
May 8th is the perfect Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== May 9th ==<br />
Once again, only meditation..is it too late for flunk? <---It is never too late for FLUNK. When will you people learn. Goddamn it!!! There is no hope for this world if you can't wrap your infant like brain around this!<br />
<br />
Arnold Salgado wishes for this day to be flunk day! => so too does one Johnathan Powers! or it is at least his speculation of the final flunk...<br />
<br />
== May 10th ==<br />
Another "showcase" or flunk?? <--Showcase CANCELED! THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<--COnfirmed. Does the obvious "CANCELLED" label instead of removal mean something?<br />
<br />
Playwright's Workshop was added to the calendar, but if they waited that long to send it in, it won't FLUNKing matter!<br />
<br />
== December 21 == <br />
<br />
Let's be real guys...the Final Flunk is going to coincide with the actual apocalypse. PREPARE YOURSELVES</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2012&diff=24856Flunk Day 20122012-04-26T15:24:18Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 27th */</p>
<hr />
<div>Fuck that picture, I want see the table of contents. It can be found below.<br />
---->Approved.<br />
<br />
<br />
== '''Preparing Yourself for the Final Flunk''' ==<br />
[[File:flunkitup.jpg]] [[File:Screen shot.png]]<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Any good Flunk Day celebration is well-prepared. Keep these tips in mind when you work yourself up watching for suspicious food trucks and random carnival rides!<br />
<br />
1. Go buy your booze now. The worst thing that could happen is to be caught off guard with nothing to set your morning off right!<br />
<br />
2. Check the Wiki Fire often. Post the conspicuous looking shit you see around campus/town and don't be a dick.<br />
<br />
3. E-mail, bother, and/or harass the known Flunk Day planners/accomplices: Jil Gates, Deb Southern, Jack Moore, Regina Rosenbrock, Kaitlyn Duling. Watch Jack at all hours of the day. He is the Lord of the Flunk. See where he goes, write it down here!<br />
<br />
4. Dig the damn mudpit already! <--as a former Conger/Neal resident, I can tell you it will take MUCH longer and be MUCH harder than you think! Have extra shovels hidden in your rooms, because anything left in the suite can be confiscated. Lookouts are a must, have them positioned by West street, on the other side of the Center for Intercultural Life, as well as someone in Neal or Conger 3 for better long-range visibility. Dig a little bit every night because it is seriously SO FUCKING HARD to dig a hole in the ground! <--- also, if campus safety happens to catch you digging, do not run into your building still wearing your muddy shoes because they will follow your muddy footprints and find you in the basement<br />
<br />
Enlist the help of Sigma Chi. DO it.<br />
<br />
5. Don't be fooled by lawn mowing or the quality of the weather. They mow the lawn nearly every other day in the Spring and there have been many not-so-sunny days of Flunk.<br />
<br />
6. If you don't get all the Xavier and Raptor jokes, see the Flunk Day 2009 page[http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2009].<br />
<br />
7. Talk to new people. Share Flunk Day hints, clues, and stories. Sharing is caring, especially in the season of Flunk. <br />
<br />
8. Believe everything you see, hear, and read in this wonderful and mysterious time of year. It's all true. We promise.<br />
<br />
9. Don't be a total scrooge about the scares. It's a natural part of spring term at Knox. I mean, the seniors had to wake up even earlier than you AND run around.<br />
<br />
== '''Is it Flunk Day yet?''' ==<br />
<br />
<br />
We already told you not to bother with the lawn mowers, but what SHOULD you look for in finding clues? Here are some helpful clues!<br />
<br />
'''Admissions'''<br />
Ask an admissions student worker to note days on the calendar where no visits are scheduled. These days are few and far between - and good hints.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Calendar Events'''<br />
For those who check the Events Calender daily (as all Flunk Day enthusiasts should) be sure to notice any changes that occur in the schedule from week to week. This is a tricky way to find clues, but the most committed investigators will double check other schools' sports schedules and compare them with ours, call to check dates and times, and watch for days with no events listed!<br />
<br />
Note that the calendar is not bound by the honor code; some events may be made up. Additionally, even though a sports event may be scheduled, Flunk Days have occurred when the softball team has had a game, or the golf team has had a tournament.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Helmut and the Cafeteria Staff'''<br />
Watch for him heading into or out of work at odd hours - that has set off the Flunk Day alarm in the past!<br />
<br />
Ask student employees about surprise food shipments.<br />
<br />
And if you happen to be sharing a doobie with a dining services staff member, don't be afraid to take advantage of the situation and just ask. "So, uh, do you know when it is?"<br />
<br />
'''Mailroom'''<br />
<br />
If you see lights on in the Mailroom at an unreasonable hour, it could be the big day. Find a friend who works in the Mailroom and have them keep an eye out for suspicious deliveries or pick-ups!<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Parking Lots, Community Sightings'''<br />
<br />
Get out and procrastinate on all your work by driving around for a few hours a night and check out the local scenery. Notice any large trailer trucks, or carnival rides parked in the WalMart parking lot? Post them here. Pics or GTFO. <br />
<br />
<br />
'''Flunk Day Planners'''<br />
<br />
They're stone walls. If you are best friends, roommates, or just sleeping with one of them, ask questions. Pay attention to body language. Bug the shit out of them. Bring the results to your friends at the WikiFire.<br />
Known Planners: <br />
Jack Moore-tallest man on campus. senior.<br />
Regina Rosenbrock: blonde Kappa. junior.<br />
Kaitlyn Duling: Hot. Dark hair. junior.<br />
<br />
Plus one secret one!!!! Probably a senior, doesn't need to be on Union Board. <--How do we know there's a secret one if it's secret?<br />
<br />
'''Rumors and Scares'''<br />
<br />
We can just come right out and say that last year the underclassmen were assholes. Sorry, but we are NOT sorry, and if you live in Post or the Quads (or the vicinity) you ''will'' be woken up for a scare or two. Don't whine about it, we've all been scared once or twice, too. Wake up, question whether today is that magical day, do a shot or two, and go back to bed if it isn't. <br />
<br />
Believe everything. Live every day like it's Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
'''NOW GET TO HINT HUNTING YOU MOTHER FLUNKERS!!'''<br />
<br />
==Pre-Flunk Hunt 2012==<br />
<br />
Xavier was spotted at several different points this summer by several different anonymous sources. Hopping off a boxcar with several drifters, each holding one of his four-footer (or so) bongs, he was said to have torn his shirt off each time while roaring, "FLUUUUUUUNK!" <br />
<br />
Xavier is clearly behind all this unseasonably warm weather we've been having. Flunk Day will be earlier than ever this year as a result!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
The weeks of April 23-27 and April 30- May 4 are the weeks of pre-enrollment but this does not necessarily mean that flunk day will not be in those two weeks. These weeks are the most common weeks for flunk day historically.<br />
<br />
So, the theme of Flunk Day is The Final Flunk, right. Because the end of the world is supposed to happen in this year of 2012. Wouldn't it be just so clever, then, if this year marked the end of Flunk Day as well? As in, no Flunk Day? As in, the rumors that Flunk Day doesn't exist finally come true? THIS COULD BE HUGE. Also, everyone knows [[Teresa Amott]] DOESN'T LIKE FLUNK DAY! <br />
<br />
At 2:24 on March 28, J-Pow predicted Flunk Day would be May 9. That's economics. <-- Furthermore, the Art Dept. is having their once-a-term field trip to the Art Institute of Chicago. So many students will already be excused from classes. Would this not be perfect timing?<br />
<br />
Cody Dailey is currently finalizing his Flunk Day prediction. This could be HUGE. This actually means next to nothing at all.<br />
<br />
Where is the "official email" for Flunk season? --An email regarding "policies and rules" was sent out on April 18 last year.<br />
<br />
At 11:53 on April 4, the official Flunk Day email is sent out. Obviously Flunk Day is TOMORROW! --> It was a particularly classy Flunk Day e-mail and included pictures and bullet points. Maybe they think if they illustrate Flunk Day they can convince us it already happened? <br />
-----> early flunk day email + summer in march = EARLIEST FLUNK DAY IN HISTORY. <br />
<br />
READ THIS: Admitted Student Days are April 13 and April 20. Flunk day fucks up campus and thus will not happen before all of the precious prospies come to visit. <br />
<br />
Any clue who the planners are this year? <--- Jack Moore, Regina Rosenbrock, Kaitlyn Duling, and a SUPER SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNER! FIND OUT WHO IT IS!!!! <--Totally and completely false<br />
<br />
NOTE: CAF WORKERS SAID THAT FLUNK DAY FOOD PREPARATION IS ON THERE APRIL CALENDAR!!!<br />
<br />
==April 5th ==<br />
<br />
Flunk day shirts are here. Union Board is selling them AFTER Flunk Day because Flunk Day is tomorrow!<br />
<br />
Jack Moore seen being really tall <---THIS COULD BE HUGE! <---Rumor: Jack Moore is "huge." <---MMhmm. CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
Debbie Southern heard chatting with Jil Gates before Flunk Day email was sent out about how it would "catch them off guard."<br />
<br />
Spotted: JPow walking across the gizmo patio saying how he's "ready for flunk day".<br />
<br />
It isn't even April 5th yet guys... <---FLUNK DAY HAS NO BOUNDARIES, rookie mistake. Wait, so you can see into the future?<br />
<br />
Today is Wednesday, but it's almost over, which means it's almost Thursday. Therefore, it's almost Friday. So Flunk Day will be tomorrow.<br />
<br />
looks like he's taking a break from hunting vampires... ABE IS IN THE HOUSE!!! <--- This could be HUGE!! can someone confirm?! <---I have visual confirmation!! <--- Pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
== April 6th == <br />
Students saw a clown in a car, driving through Illinois. Obviously, Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8th ==<br />
11:54pm seniors are seen leaving Hamblin, exclaiming "we need to get our stash PRONTO!"<br />
<br />
== April 9th ==<br />
Two people seen digging in the mud pitt!!! Somebody please confirm this!!! <---CONFIRMED. Ladies and gents, start your flunk engines. VROOM VROOM<br />
<br />
== April 10th == <br />
There's a baseball game on the schedule for 6:30 PM. Our field doesn't have lights. Interesting.<br />
<br />
The game is at Galesburg High School, they have lights CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
All this talk of people digging the mud pit is false. Get on that, quads.<br />
<br />
Planners seen entering Old Main and exiting one hour later...Flunk?! <----you waited them out?<br />
<br />
Just heard Regina and Kaitlyn planning a booze run- flunky flunk tomorrow, definitely. <--False. Junior planners can't drink on Flunk Day<br />
<br />
7:56 PM -- Helmut was hanging around the caf a little late tonight...just spotted him leaving!<br />
<br />
Rumors are running around that tomorrow could be the big day...could it be? A flunk day this early? Remember, the Safety e-mail hasn't gone out yet. But you'd <br />
better get your stashes ready...<br />
<br />
<br />
COME ON CONGER/NEAL! GET GOING ON THAT MUDPIT!<br />
<br />
Helmut is back on campus!!! The Mudpit has to happen! <-- 8:55 p.m. <---pics or it didn't happen<br />
<br />
Obama tells the tale of the flunk >>> http://i.imgur.com/NFcyC.jpg<br />
<br />
9:21p.m. observed Kathleen Drake and Jill Gates on the corner of West and South St. Both looked tired. one yelled, "See you in a few hours!" Get your Flunk On!!! <---They probably were leaving R.A. class is SMC.<br />
<br />
9:38 p.m. overheard one of the library workers: "No, don't worry about it, we can do it tomorrow. Wait no...I'll do it on Thursday *laughs*"<br />
<br />
9:49 PM: Regina Rosenbrock says tomorrow is Flunk Day, she's not doing her homework but instead kickin' it with her awesome suitemates.<br />
<br />
9:53pm: there has already been an preliminary text from an unknown number sent to a selection of seniors that simply says "I hope you're FINALLY done with all of your homework...we wouldn't want you to FLUNK out of Knox during your last term!"<br />
<br />
Rick Santorum dropped out of the race so he could make it to Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
BREAKING NEWS: Maddie Davis, secret Flunk Day planner?! <-----Evidence?? From Galesburg, knows Knox well, works in the mailroom, lives with Rachel Hautzinger a UB member...NEED I SAY MORE?!<br />
<br />
Any updates on the MUDPIT!? <---- the mud pit is dryer than a desert <-- Still no mudpit at 11:00pm <br />
<br />
Carrie and Rachel spotted digging the mudpit with red solo cups in their hands! <---Can you confirm?? <---Carrie didn't even help with the mudpit last year and she lived in Neal. Tomorrow MUST be Flunk day <---False, she watched for campus safety and screamed obscenities out the window.<br />
<br />
<br />
11:08 PM Maddie Davis is hammered right now <---- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<----- THIS COULD BE ANY DAY OF THE WEEK! <---God damnit.<br />
<br />
11:11pm Kaitlyn Duling spotted leaving her house headed towards campus. Dressed too nice for it to be Flunk Day tomorrow. <-----Kaitlyn always dresses pretty nice, to be fair. <--- I was wearing a suit earlier tonight, does that mean no flunk tomorrow? I think NO CORRELATION! <-- Confirmed! She was wearing a dress but had a bag, perhaps with extra clothes. These planners will go to all lengths to trick everyone<br />
<br />
11:15pm Papers covering the mail room windows means no evidence for Flunk Day Foolery <---pics? they haven't covered the windows in years past [http://i958.photobucket.com/albums/ae62/zackymichel/MailRoom11pm.jpg]<br />
<br />
11:20pm: back from a Quickie run, and the guy at the counter said he predicts Flunk Day will be a Wednesday this year<br />
<br />
11:35pm JACK MOORE IS NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE <-- CONFIRMED HE MUST BE CATCHING A SNOOZE BEFORE THE BIG DAY<br />
<br />
11:37 p.m. Rachel Hautzinger cannot be contacted <--- SHE IS NOT IN HER APARTMENT! <-- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
11:38 p.m. Participants in the Aerial Dance company classes just received an e-mail saying tomorrow's class has been CANCELLED - there is NO reason to do that!!! - unless it's Flunk Day!!! <--- Can you confirm this? <--Yes, I'm in it, I'm taking the MW class and I just got it. It's from Jen Smith and she organized the thing. <--- CONFIRMED! THIS COULD BE HUGE! <-- Screenshot the email?<br />
<br />
11:45pm Lights on at Jil Gate's apartment <--- CONFIRMED FROM INSIDE <--planners could just be hanging out there trying to trick us <-- she shuts down parties at 10 p.m. ON WEEKENDS, do you really think she'd be up this late on a weeknight just for kicks? <-- she would stay up for the sake of FLUNK!<br />
<br />
11:48 p I SAW SANTA. Isn't he in the carnival? FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
11:55 Mud pit update?<br />
<br />
11:56 Daniel Beers just sent out a revised schedule and tomorrow isn't on it... <--- I received no email. I SEE THROUGH YOUR SENIOR SCHEMING <-- I got an email and I'm in his PS 321! There is indeed no Wednesday on the schedule! <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
REGARDLESS OF IF IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW OR NOT SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET ON THAT MUDPIT! <----- '''CONFIRMED!!!!'''<br />
<br />
== April 11th ==<br />
Proof:[[Media:FlunkDay2012isonApril11th.jpeg]] <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
<br />
Faculty meeting scheduled for April 11th was canceled! <-- CONFIRMED! NO MEETING!<br />
<br />
Helmut seen talking to caf ladies suspiciously during lunch.. could he be scheming for flunk? <-- DINOSAUR CUP, I FILL YOU UP, LET'S HAVE A PARTY. TODAY IS FLUNK DAY.<br />
<br />
Flunk day shirts have arrived. They're gray and will be on sale April 11th for $10 <--- JUST IN TIME FOR FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
This is the second day of the Almost There Fair, which all graduating seniors must attend to get their cap and gown, etc. Thus Flunk Day would not be on this day because that would mess up graduation for a good number of students, who were planning to go buy their stuff on the 11th. No Flunk Day. <---Why not reschedule? An early Flunk is a good flunk. <--- When picking up my gown the guy next to Kathleen Drake complained about what a hassle it is that Knox can't commit to their original schedule and now he has to change his.... FLUNK DAY IS TODAY!<br />
<br />
Underwear dance party in the quads tomorrow <---- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Did a ride-along for my journalism class today. The officer told me he was asked to come in early tomorrow, along with half of the early shift! there is no events in town. unless it's flunk day!<br />
<br />
11:20 PM Saw people walking into the room, but when i got there mailroom doors were covered! Proof? Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhbN0GHsO54&feature=youtu.be<br />
<br />
12:44 AM } Ran into the seniors on a Walmart run - So we stacked up the rest... of the fridge. Ppl it's happening and Seymour is ready! <--Freshman think people care about their stash. Flunk day is obviously tomorrow.[[File:Mystache.png]]<br />
<br />
12:40 AM Saw someone running into exec with a hoodie on, hood up. They looked in a hurry. It was kind of sketchy. Did anyone else see this? <--- CONFIRMED! Saw this sketchy ass person! <---- DOUBLE CONFIRMED! I saw them too! What the flunk?!<br />
<br />
12:55 AM Students at the Quickie witnessed the installation of an ADDITIONAL liquor shelf behind the counter. This is probably to hold the giant shipment of booze they got in today because they know tomorrow is FLUNK DAYY!!! <--- confirmed! I was only there to get a Diet Coke but decided to get another fifth of tequila, just in case!<br />
<br />
Jack Moore is awake after midnight on a week-day.. he's never up and active this late. this could be HUGE<br />
<br />
1:05 AM Jack Moore seen passing Longden with Duling, laughing about something. After seeing the panicked but excited look on my face as I locked the windows, they laughed again and ran off.<br />
<br />
1:11 AM Just spotted a Campus Safety officer patrolling the area by the quads to check the mudpit area. <--- any mudpit action?<br />
<br />
1:15 AM Jack Moore and Kaitlyn Duling seen walking quickly North across campus. After Kaitlyn departs (location unknown) Jack seen sprinting to his car and driving West.<br />
<br />
1:19 Paper removed from mail room windows. Flunk day is totally today! <br />
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-wx6Vd5dfaAk/T4Uh_QoesxI/AAAAAAAAAOw/R0TFAYTwFHY/s533/12+-+1<br />
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-jHb3DayKXzs/T4Uh_e-Zc0I/AAAAAAAAAO8/sXeL5_Haljc/s533/12+-+2<br />
<br />
Are the lights normally on in the caf at night? <--- Can anyone confirm this? <--- confirmed kitchen but not main caf lights are on!<br />
<br />
That Alakazam performer is here tomorrow afternoon - what if his act is part of the flunk schedule?! <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
Breaking news: KONY releasing some of his child soldiers for Flunk Day. KONY 2012!<br />
<br />
1:55AM Watcha guys doin... NOT DIGGING THE MUDPIT, now dig my minions, digggg<br />
<br />
2:07 AM MY FRIEND JUST FORWARDED ME THIS EMAIL!!!<br />
<br />
[[http://i1271.photobucket.com/albums/jj639/flunkfox/Screenshot2012-04-11at20152AM.png]] <--- when is jil gates awake at 2am? NEVER. IT'S FLUNK DAY.<br />
<br />
2:10 AM Sketchy car hovering outside seymour dock and then circling campus. Also, gizmo/caf workers leaving kitchen. Closing up gizmo, or prepping for Flunk day?<br />
<br />
Half-assed scare at 6 AM. Today is not Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
== April 12th ==<br />
<br />
Stephanie Meyer author of Twilight is supposed to be in town signing books. Flunkpocalypse coincidence? I think not! <--- where is she signing books at?<br />
<br />
12:06 AM - Mudpit ain't happening. Someone should poop on Conger/Neal!!! Neal 3 or Conger 1, especially. <--- Stop (being a dick) singling out suites in Neal and Conger, it is ALL of Conger and Neal's responsibility to dig the mud pit<br />
<br />
1:56 AM - Regina answers a text message. WHY IS SHE AWAKE???? Answer: Vodka. Analysis: Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
9:45 AM - Trucks innocently delivering food to Cafe; however, food today sucked. Anaylsis : Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== April 13th ==<br />
Could the flunkopalypse be coming on Friday the 13th?!?! Prospies are supposed to be here but it could just be the most bad ass open house of all time. They won't Flunk on a Friday <br />
<br />
Student workers in admissions have reportedly still not received their work schedules for the open house today. Could admissions be in on the hoax? <-- Tour guides still don't have their schedules for Friday. Is this normal?<br />
<br />
The 13th and the 20th are listed as admitted students days, but the calendar is suspicious. If you click on the 13th, it sends you to a page to "register" to come to campus, but only has the 20th listed as an option. (http://www.knox.edu/prebuilt/forms/admittedstudentdays2.asp) Conversely, on the 20th, there is nothing indicating you have to register. They haven't had Flunk Day on Friday before, but maybe Friday the 13th is too good to pass up? <-- False. Flunk Day HAS been on a Friday before. Friday the 13th Flunkpocalypse...Could it get any better than that?<br />
<br />
^There is most certainly an admitted students day on the 13th. I have a friend from home who is checking out Knox that day. No way would the campus be Flunked up for parents of admitted students.<br />
<br />
== April 15th ==<br />
<br />
Holy crap! Suspicious caf activity! Helmut is there cooking and none of the students were allowed to do food preparation! <---Can we get confirmation of Helmut's car on campus? <- Fishy caf activity confirmed, cannot confirm on Helmut's car.<br />
<br />
Helmut or no Helmut, the Paul Greenberg "Four Fish" lecture is tomorrow. Seems like way too big of name and event to coincide with Flunk Day...? <--- My professor was pretty pissed that they don't even know when Flunk Day is and that they had to "submit" dates back in winter term to "not hold Flunk day"... I am guessing Greenberg wasn't finalized by then... OR is this a cover up event.. I heard they did those before! <---Dear freshman, you are correct, but this is Paul Greenberg. The amount of work put in to get him here was astronomical. Flunk Day is tomorrow...but it is not tomorrow. <-- Ever heard of misdirection? Paul Greenberg will be here Wednesday.<br />
<br />
Spotted: Kaitlyn and Regina scurrying towards campus <- Confirmed! away from Tompkins, where Jil Gates AND Jack live. Flunk day tomorrow????<br />
<br />
Can we get an update on the mud pit??<br />
<br />
I don't think Greenberg is really coming to campus- Jil Gates and Cindy could not give details of his talk meaning they never saw a contract- every club leader knows those 2 review every contract on campus. Flunk Day is tomorrow!!!!<br />
<br />
http://www.fourfish.org/speaking.html <--- He doesn't have another speaking event for a week. He could easily be rescheduled for Tuesday or Wednesday and stay in a hotel until then. <--- why is the time on the website still TBD?? It's tomorrow, shouldn't that be specified? <-------It says 5pm on Knox's events calendar. <-- They never put false information on the events calendar.<---You're a freshman<br />
<br />
Lights on in the caf! Flunk Day is tomorrow! <--- can you confirm? this could be HUGE <-- PICTURES?? <---- PICTURES OR GTFO. <--see the Flunk Day twitter. Pics are up, but I would like to note that the caf's lights are never ALL the way out. They always keep a few on. So this may NOT be huge. <-- Are these the lights that are normally on, though? <-- don't you think this is a fairly valid prank for the planners to pull on us? <br />
<br />
Saw Jil Gates get out of a car, grab something fairly large from the driver's window and race into her apartment. Flunk day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
ATTN CONGER/NEAL: please use all of this shitty, rainy weather to make some headway on the flunkin' mud pit!<br />
<br />
== April 16th ==<br />
<br />
1:53 a.m. I was supposed to be emailed by Sunday night if my boss needed me to come into work on Monday...and yet I have received no such email. Flunk?<br />
<br />
1:56 a.m. This page is not nearly as active as it should be. No Flunk. <-- or is it so obviously inactive that YES Flunk?!?<br />
<br />
2:04 a.m. Some interesting photos posted to the Flunk Day Twitter account... https://twitter.com/#!/FlunkDay<br />
<br />
3:28 a.m. No activity on this page or on the Flunk Day Twitter in over an hour. Suspicions quelled.<br />
<br />
4:00 a.m. Mailroom lights and bookstore lights still on, as well as mail room windows covered. Kitchen lights in caf and oak room kitchen are on. Mudpit is fresh and muddy WITH fresh mudtracks from shoes. THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
4:45 a.m. SPOTTED campus safety in the caf talking to one of the seymour maintenance guys.<br />
<br />
5:45 am. Scare or Flunk?<br />
<br />
<br />
Campus Grounds workers are mowing the lawns!!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
Spotted in Old Main, Monday morning 8:30 - Helmut and a bunch of other people at Dean Southern's office, meeting. <---who was the "bunch" of people? <--- Couldn't see it properly. Helmut was blocking the ways.<br />
<br />
Conger/Neal get digging on the Mudpit! Use your hands like spades, if you have too.<br />
<br />
OVERHEARD: Kyle Szuta in the computer center "looking forward to Tuesday at home". Random vacation day, or flunk day miracle?<br />
<br />
Quickie owner asked if I was ready for flunk day. IT MUST BE TOMORROW!<br />
<br />
72 degrees and sunny tomorrow? PERFECT<br />
<br />
On Monday afternoon, the Chicago Knox Club sent an invite to alumni for "Flunk Day -- Whenever that is! 4:00 to 8:00 p.m." at Moonshine in Wicker Park. "Whenever" must be thinly-veiled code for tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Sue Hulett sent out a Flunk Day contingency email to at least one of her classes this afternoon. <----screen shot or it didn't happen <--- here's the text, in Sue's signature haphazard style and random capitalization: <br />
<br />
"IF FLUNK Day is Tuesday the 17th-- THEN Quiz on Thursday the 19th and whole schedule moves down one day.<br />
<br />
IF FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY the 16th be ready for QUIZ on Tuesday the 17th -- Class will start at 11am & I will lecture for 50 minutes and then give you the quiz.<br />
<br />
Ideas on General Systems Theory (GST) paper which is due on 4/24 at this point. If FD is Monday the 23rd. CLASS on the 24th will be from 10:40-11:40 and PAPER DUE BY 9am on the 25th. Cheers, Sue" <--- there is also a cat cartoon but I chose not to include that. <-- Why.<br />
<br />
<br />
Mixed up my weeks and went in to see Teresa Amott, but her secretary said she was traveling. Butttt I saw a light on in her office and heard movement in there. Flunk Day? haha butt < IT COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
Mysterious special Flunk Day opportunity to be presented at Union Board meeting.<---Is this the 'mystery flunk day performance' event on facebook?? <-- Would they really post this the day before Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
5:25pm. Two helicopters seen flying over the Quads. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
6:17 pm Senate dining services meeting canceled for tonight....committee leader is a planner...THIS COULD BE HUGE<---CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
6:20 pm. No cookies in the caf tonight. There are ALWAYS cookies. Flunk day is tomorrow. <--- Any confirmation? Sadly, this could be HUUUUGE! <--- Actually, whenever they have the panellet sweet potato bar things, there are no cookies (source--I've worked in the bakery).<----nobody actually likes teh sweet potato bars- saving the good stuff for tomorrow?! <br />
<br />
Kaitlyn and Regina seen at Walmart stocking up on supplies for the big day. Flunk is upon us. <-- Junior planners can't drink on Flunk Day. They have to drive the gators and be sober. They're messing with us.<--- CONFIRMED. They're flunking with us. <---Who says the supplies were alcohol? You can't see what they're buying in the picture. Maybe it's other stuff for the flunk <-- the picture circulating is for sure from the alcohol aisle in walmart<-- no it's not, you can see flowers in a cooler which means it's the front aisle by the produce. BOOM. <-- Produce is essential for Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
7:01 PM - the Knox-Monmouth baseball game was rescheduled from Saturday to the 17th, but the 17th is Scots Day at Monmouth - their version of Flunk Day! Would they really agree to schedule a baseball game on the day of their own spring carnival?<----the game is not on their schedule. The schedule states they will play at Knox on the 21st <--- CONFIRMED! Monmouth has no games scheduled tomorrow!<--- The Monmouth game is a rescheduled game from the previous weekend. If people paid attention to the sports teams, maybe they would know this shit<----CONFIRMED, care more people...Also, it is encouraged to treat tomorrow as flunk day and come drunkenly support your student athletes --Monmouth is still scheduled to play tomorrow. <---CONFIRMED <-- They are playing even though it is their carnival? Seems fishy.<---It's a conference game, it needs to be played and weekends are booked. <-- it would have been scheduled after Flunk Day was finalized, so it may just conflict. <---Monmouth player has confirmed that in fact they are being forced to play on Scots Day.<--- I think we can all agree that baseball/softball means nothing to the campus excepting relevant parents and teammates; Meaning, el dia de flunk could be tomorrow.<--- Confirmed!<br />
<br />
7:45pm - seven very different Knox seniors spotted at Hyvee Wine and Spirits stocking up on all things Flunk <-- CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
They haven't mowed in a few days. Waiting until after Flunk Day to fix the lawn for the prospies? <---It's definitely Flunk day tomorrow!<---for sures -- They mowed the lawn today<---in prep for flunk? <br />
<br />
9:19pm - John Schlaf spotted at the Campus Safety office?!?! <---uh he works there? <-- Does he always work this late?<br />
<br />
Jil Gates picked up four giant boxes from the mail room today.<----------She has a P.O. box off campus for Flunk day.<br />
<br />
9:29pm - I just had an OUT OF BODY experience in which the spirit of Lincoln contacted me HIMSELF to inform me that TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY!<-- Confirmed.<br />
<br />
9:40pm - Just asked Siri if Flunk Day was tomorrow and SHE SAID YESSSSSSSS <br />
<br />
9:40 pm- Regina spotted running in and out of the Union Board office <--- like, several times in a row or over a period of a few hours?<br />
<br />
9:44pm - Kathleen Drake leaves Senate Finance Committee early. Flunk day preparations? THIS COULD BE RIDONKULOUSLY HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
9:44pm- I AM DRINKING A BEER. Flunk day? I think YES!<---THIS KID <-- Which Kid?<br />
<br />
9:45pm- Seniors and Faculty members seen buying their Flunk Day stash at Hy fee Liquor<br />
<br />
9:56pm-Jil Gates blinds are completely shut. Lights are on.<----Always---> After some investigation, JG BF was seen drinking something in the apartment. Definitely Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE IS DIGGING THE MOTHERFLUNKING MUD PIT!!!! It seriously takes forever, so get on that shit, Conger/Neal!!! OR ANYONE WITH A SHOVEL AND THE TINIEST HINT OF FLUNK SPIRIT! <---- don't leave muddy footprints and get caught (i won't name names)!!<br />
<br />
10:09PM - CONGER/NEAL DIG THE MUD PIT. THE WHOLE FUNNESS OF FLUNK DAY DEPENDS ON YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
10:11PM - REGINA SPOTTED PUTTING ON LAST YEAR'S FLUNK DAY SHIRT. IS SHE GETTING FLUNKY? <--CONFIRMED!!<---DOUUUUBLE CONFIRMED!!!<----TRIPLE FUCKIN CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
10:15pm Hamblin RA locks apartment door. <--- this never happens. Tomorrow is Flunk Day.<-------- pics or it didn't happen!<br />
<br />
10:19 Regina spotted leaving her suite with a large backpack! This could be huge! <-- HUGE BACKPACK?<br />
<br />
10:20pm - a group of six(?) random seniors seen inspecting the mud pit and getting dirt? whaaaaat <---That's cause Conger/Neal is slacking and the Seniors have to step up to the plate. C'MON CONGER/NEAL!!! <-- SOMEONE HAD BETTER DIG THIS PIT!<br />
<br />
10:25pm - large group of seniors seen in front of the Stucco apartments (across from the Quickie), home to a notorious group of Flunk enthusiasts. Possible scheme hatchery for tomorrow?<br />
<br />
10:28pm Haley Beeson does not answer her phone. 2 TIMES IN A ROW! FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW <-- 4 times! <-- 12 TIMES!<br />
<br />
11:04 pm Regina and Kaitlyn with milkshakes. Why? And where's Jack Moore?<br />
<br />
11:20 pm Three seniors spotted tending the mud pit with household items. Items identified as tupperware, mop and recycling bin. <br />
<br />
11:21 pm One of the three seniors identified as Julia Shenkar. Entirely impossible. It must be flunk day. <br />
<br />
11:25 p.m. Campus Safety spotted guarding the mud pit. Not entirely relevant to Flunk suspicions, but pretty funny.<br />
<br />
11:35 pm Sigma Chi is on fire. First asteroid of the final flunk? <---confirmed<br />
<br />
11:39pm - Lots of student traffic at the Quickie. All exiting with tall brown bags. Quickie stashes, therefore FLUNK.<br />
<br />
Everybody, get your shit together. When posting on the WikiFire about a day being Flunk Day, you post in the section devoted to that day. All of this should be under April 17th. Stop being idiots. Even my freshman friend understood this. We go to Knox. Use your brain. <-- It doesn't make sense to post things happening at 5PM on the 16th under the 17th. Students at Knox should be able to figure out how to scroll up. <-- dunno, people are posting in both and im confused <----MASS HYSTERIA!? apocolyptic zoombie brain? ARE YOU ALREADY DRUNK?<br />
<br />
11:45pm JUST SENT EMAIL TO JIL GATES....RECEIVED THIS AUTOMATED EMAIL IN RESPONSE <br />
<br />
"Good Day,<br />
<br />
I will be out of the office Tuesday April 17th. I return to campus Wednesday April 18th and will respond to emails when then. <br />
<br />
If you need immediate assistance, please contact campus security at 309.341.7979.<br />
<br />
Thank you. Have a wonderful day and better tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Keep the Joy!!!<br />
<br />
Jil Gates" <---- confirm with a screenshot or it isn't true<br />
<br />
http://tinypic.com/r/121e3ut/5 <----HERE<br />
<br />
12:02 am: Our illicit cat is causing a ruckus. SHE knows it's Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
12:13 Just Spotted at Walmart! Group of seniors leaving with shovels and other flunk day supplies! <br />
<br />
Has anyone seen any actual suspicious activity? Flunk preparations do not necessitate Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
The windows in the mailroom were covered. <--- pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
A girl who graduated last year who works at the Landmark says Roger and Ann Taylor were in for dinner tonight!<br />
<br />
== April 17th ==<br />
12 am-- Trash bags covering the windows in the mail room. WENT NUTS. <br />
<br />
Sherwood Kiraly is not teaching a class today <--- OBVIOUSLY FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
Zumba is cancelled for tomorrow. Clearly it will be Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
this would be the perfect day to have flunk day!!! just enough time to get cleaned up before admitted students day on the 20th and have campus looking nice for installation week.<br />
<br />
Henry, caf worker, claims the food order will arrive on the 16th. They wouldn't want the food to spoil, would they? <---Has the food shipment arrived? <-- Can anyone confirm? This could be HUGE<br />
<br />
Overheard two caf workers saying "Tuesday is going to be awful." Preparations for the delicious breakfast bar already??!!<---You know a freshman wrote this because breakfast is the worst meal of Flunk Day, and never a bar. <---I wish it was a bar<--Helmet is trying to kill us by giving us only orange juice and tiny bagels to soak up the booze.<---I believe they are pronounce BAGels. <br />
<br />
Ryan Stoens seen taking Extra Protein its gotta on this day. <-----CONFIRMED...THIS COULD BE HUGE, He usually lays off the stuff during season so there must be a special occasion...FLUNK?<---- poor guy is an addict.<__ should put that stuff to work on the mud pit! <---rumor has it he may have helped for about 15 minutes last year, hes done his part <- Clearly some baseball guys <----Clearly somebody has a hatred for the baseball team, which I personally do not see. I mean have you guys seen them in those baseball pants?? Clearly going to be FLUNK<-- bunch of freshman nicknames clearly dont know crap about what theyre talkinabout!! <---Damn freshmen baseball players, Make a play sparrow...pussy <---- Who is Ryan Stoens? Quit talking about randos. This isn't the Baseball Wiki-Its the Flunk Day wiki Losers.<---Shut up Lahti, give us Hoff back <----CONFIRMED...we miss him...also good creative name<-- AGREED/ Double CONFIRMED THIS IS BIIIIIIG!!! <----------------- LOL! oops. well shit. also he has not been with me all day and you can have him anytime you want. besides the point.<-- We shall take him THAN! <-- he is all yours!<br />
<br />
Seniors seen stocking up at Wal-Mart on bottles, glitter and ALCOHOL!!! It is not too early for Flunk Day!!! IT IS TOMORROW. <------Confirmed. Saw them 2. But where's this mudpit?? <----- AGREED. DIG THE GOD DAMN MUDPIT<---Also agreed. Stupid ass people and their lack of digging. Show a little respect for classic video games. (yes, clutch Dig Dug reference)<------------Knox folks spotted at Hy-Vee Liquor. Stocking up for some flunkage? <---CONFIRMED!!<-- heard there is a mulcher on its way mudpit is about TO BE DOMINATED!!!!!<---If by mulcher you mean Kelly Ricketts, then yes the mud pit is about to be dominated. <br />
<br />
Overheard Coach Eisele, a.k.a. the Athletic Director, saying that there was no way that the students would expect Flunk Day tomorrow because of the "rescheduled" baseball game. Was also told that later on in the day he laughed maniacally and twirled an imaginary mustache.<----Mustache CONFIRMED!!<br />
<br />
Lukas Shaw "if it is flunk day tomorrow, words will not even begin to describe my rage" Its gotta be flunk day tomorrow just to piss him off! THIS IS BIG! HE IS BIG!<------ CONFIRMED! HAVE YOU SEEN THAT GUY? HE'S HUGE!!<br />
<br />
The only real thing on the calendar is a flute recital. The Flunk will definitely not be put on hold for a flute recital.<br />
<br />
Matt Barry seen walking around with an empty red gasoline can full of dollar bills and change and ordering extra hot hamburgers? TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY!<br />
W1<br />
Anna Casey seen sending text messages with her brain. Calling together her android friar army, perhaps? Guys, this is it.<------- Confirmed. Anna Casey is a boss I've see her move boulders and betas with her wit. <br />
<br />
SNU brothers are mixing dark chocolate sizzurp on their porch. The Wonka theme was last year, bros.<br />
<br />
A GIANT black cat jumped through the window <--- IT WAS HUGE<br />
<br />
Just had two seniors abruptly sign off facebook chat on me. Either i'm a total loser or there's flunk in the air... <--- Confirmed, seniors are acting strange and disappearing. Very suspicious. <--- CONFIRMED!!! 1:51 AM - same here! my roommate is a senior.. not back in the room, he abruptly left earlier.<br />
<br />
2:00 AM Jonothan Bass is going to Mcdonald's < ---- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Here's some conspiracy for you all. The date -> 4/17/12 -> 4+17=21 -> 21/12 -> 12/21 is the day the world is supposed to end. Think about it.<br />
<br />
2:30 AM Tomorrow is flunk day, therefore today cannot be the big day.<br />
<br />
2:40 AM WHERE ARE THE SENIORS PEOPLE <---- planning a scare <---- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
3:41 AM any activity around mailroom or caf?<br />
<br />
6:03 AM: Girls with pans outside Williston! But no email yet, and there probably won't be. Still pretty great.<br />
<br />
6:10 AM: FLUNK DAY'S TOMORROW!<br />
<br />
MOST LEGIT SCARE EVER. Good job guys. I was checkin my email. <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
6:30 AM: Drum circle of seniors in the quads. Poor guys, I think they thought it was Flunk Day ;)<br />
<br />
I hope that scare knocked some sense in to Conger-Neal. GROW SOME BALLS AND WORK ON THE DAMN MUDPIT TONIGHT! Sincerely, a concerned senior. <--- CONFIRMED. Some scarers made sure to throw what mud was there at Conger-Neal. Make it happen!<br />
<br />
==April 18th ==<br />
<br />
Jillian Staley is a LIAR! The most IMPORTANT AND FUN thing Conger-Neal residents can do in the season leading up to Flunk Day is to dig the mudpit! You wanted to live there. Take responsibility for your actions!!<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day food shipment is supposedly scheduled to arrive on Monday, which would give Wednesday a high probability of being el dia de flunk.<br />
<br />
Today is most definitely Flunk Day. A townie walking their dog said they heard word of it. Monmouth's (not as good) equivalent of flunk day was the 17th. Think about it. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Maintenance is going HAM on the lawn care. Today's gotta be the day<br />
<br />
Confirmed, the food shipment arrived in Tuesday April 17th. Today is still a possibility <-- Who is confirming this? How do you know it is food for Flunk?<---I will not reveal her/his name but they are a distinguished member of the caf staff. <--- If this is actually true, it's sort of ironic that while we were doing the scare this morning, the Flunk Day feast was being delivered. Too bad no one interrogated the truck driver.<br />
<br />
The wiki has gone silent. Exactly what the planners want. <--- I was just on my way over to start some things..<br />
<br />
Tomorrow does seem pretty unlikely, but perhaps we just aren't digging deep enough for clues! Start hunting y'all!<br />
<br />
Campus safety was definitely out patrolling A LOT today... preparations for tomorrow?<---Not only is Campus Safety out but the baseball team swept Monmouth today, tomorrow must be Flunk<---campus safety circled the mudpit in their mules a few time today <--- RIGHT BECAUSE NOTHING SCREAMS 'IT'S FLUNK DAY' LIKE CAMPUS SAFETY DRIVING IN CIRCLES <--- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
Shut the front door, we beat Monmouth at a sport? IT'S THE APOCALYPSE TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY BEGIN DRINKING NOW! <---Confirmed, they will lose two more times this weekend also<br />
<br />
Call Me Maybe = Best Flunk Day Song Ever <---CONFIRMED, maybe Carley Rae Jepsen will be the performer? <- no, but STILL a better love story than twilight. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
9:03 PM Caf workers seen leaving the caf via the loading dock, isn't that a bit later than they usually leave? <--- No, the last shift ends at 9. <- OMG LOL CAF WORKERS DOING WHAT THEY NORMALLY DO. MUST BE FLUNK DAY. <br />
<br />
9:30 PM A flock of velociraptors is seen circling the campus. <-- VELOCIRAPTORS ARE RELATED TO CHICKENS. ENOUGH SAID. <br />
<br />
9:55 PM ADMITTED STUDENTS DAY IS A LIE! <-- Proof? <-- it isn't a lie, there is an admitted students day. the cake, however, IS a lie. <br />
<br />
ATTN EVERYONE: Wednesday, April 18, is Conan O'Brien's birthday. IT MUST BE FLUNK DAY. TEAM COCO 4 FLUNK! <-- Flunk yeah!<br />
<br />
10:48 PM I just saw Xavier outside of Old Main with a 4-foot bong!! It's tomorrow! <---Confirmed, this could be huge.<br />
<br />
11:25 PM unlikely to have flunk day tomorrow, too many community service activities going on... <-- FALSE. Flunk Day IS community service! <--proof? <br />
<br />
12:10AM Jack Moore seen driving his car and dropping off Vincent Rug at his house near the quads! Vincent Rug= SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNER!= Jack and Vince working of potential Flunk for TOMORROW. . . Or near FUTURE <-hopefully not tomorrow, it's supposed to be ~50-55 degrees and thunderstorm all day. bawk bawk. <br />
<br />
12:19 AM Heard some strange noises from Seymour loading dock. <-THIS ISN'T UNUSUAL. <-BETA <-- CONFIRMED, NOISES WERE FROM BETAS<br />
<br />
12:58 AM Beta? noises continue. that or velociraptors. maybe both. I really don't want to know at this point. hopefully they don't see their shadow or there'll be 4 more weeks of flunk day waiting!<br />
<br />
4:20 am campus safety taking a nap in founders! must be resting up so he can get his flunk on in a couple hours?<br />
<br />
== April 19th ==<br />
<br />
ZERO EVENTS ON THE CALENDAR: [http://imgur.com/lteL6] <--- False: That is the performance of an Honors Project as well as the middle of Greek Week. <--- easiest Greek Week event ever!!!! It MUST be Flunk Day!!!<---It doesn't matter when Greek Week is, Flunk day has no limitations! Flunk Day is April 19th<---This could be HUGE!<---That's what she said. <- CONFIRMED. SHE DID IN FACT SAY THAT. <br />
<br />
20th is admitted student day -- Amott won't want a Flunked up campus for Friday. <----- Campus is pretty good at cleaning up. Other than the mudpit [which is permanently scarred into the quads. That is, IF IT GETS BUILT], there are few remnants of Flunk Day the day after flunk. <-- broken beer bottles, mud everywhere, hungover students, garbage, messed up lawn, vomit, broken walls/windows/toilets, etc... sooo easy to clean up @_@. your logic is not at all sound. <- CONFIRMED. LOGIC NOT SOUND. NO FLUNK DAY UNTIL AFTER ADMITTED STUDENTS DAY<br />
<br />
Jil Gates was reportedly off campus, all day on Tuesday, April 17th. Could she be meeting with Flunk Day services? Be prepared to Flunk!!<br />
<br />
2:30 PM Regina and Kaitlyn spotted in te campus life office. <-maybe because it's their job. derp. ex: OMG LOLZ CAMPUS SAFETY SPOTTED AT CAMPUS SAFETY!!!!! WHATEVER SHALL WE DO??!?? <br />
<br />
5:03 PM: Jil Gates and Kaitlyn were in the Campus Life office with the main office closed- secret Flunk plans in the works.... FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW!!! <- FALSE. <br />
<br />
8:33 PM: Kaitlyn has a meeting at 9. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW. (Or possibly Monday?) <- CONFIRMED, FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY. Or maybe tomorrow... a prospie last week said they thought about coming to the admitted students day on Friday, so I'm pretty sure there legitimately is one. In that case it definitely WON'T be the 19th or 20th<br />
<br />
I work in the kitchen and one of the freezers I usually get food out of was locked today. This freezer is never locked! IT'S FLUNCK DAY FOOD! <- the fact that it's in the *freezer* supports the argument that "flunck" day is next Monday.<br />
<br />
Maintenance worker said he was looking forward to his "F-word" holiday either Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday of next week. It's happening.<br />
<br />
Liz Oatney seen on the Gizmo patio....MUST be flunk day on Monday.<br />
<br />
== April 20th ==<br />
Email sent at 6.21 this morning:<br />
"MYTH: The Final Flunk cannot happen on a Friday<br />
<br />
FACT: The Final Flunk can happen at any time on any day; yet those who predict the final flunk are all in agreement that it has to be a weekday."<br />
<br />
Is Jill Gates trying to throw us off!?! By so obviously hinting that it will be a Friday, will students assume that it is too clear to actually be a Friday? And therefore, making a Friday Final Flunk Extravaganza a MEGA SURPRISE?!<br />
<br />
This also could apply to April 27th.<br />
<br />
This is an admitted students day. There is no way Flunk Day will be today or Thursday. <--- It would be kind of funny for the admitted students to see campus all FLUNKed up, don't you think? Poor tourguides. "On our right you see students vomiting in the mudpit...."<br />
<br />
It's a good thing Flunk Day wasn't today. People would have died.<br />
<br />
== April 23rd ==<br />
<br />
Get your specs on youngins cuz Flunk Day’s a comin! We’ve survived both Admitted Student Days and now it’s time to gear up for el Dia de Flunk. All signs point to THIS WEEK being optimal Flunk territory: we’ve kicked out the prospies and next week is right before Teresa Amott’s big day (don’t wanna flunk up campus right before all the alums get here). SO! It’s time to start seriously scouting for FLUNK DAY CLUES:<br />
<br />
Any suspicious activity around campus, and I mean any! Nothing is too innocuous to avoid notice and the immediate update of the WikiFire.<br />
<br />
Are the seniors acting weird? Keep an eye on those guys; they’ll try to throw you for a loop!<br />
<br />
What’s happening around Seymour Union? Lights on at odd hours, movement in the mailroom, strange comings and goings? REPORT ALL TO THE WIKIFIRE!<br />
<br />
If you have a car, take it for a spin during the wee hours of the morning. A big indicator this year will be the “mystery performance” of incalculable size. The bigger the show, the harder it is to hide! Look signs of impending ROCK.<br />
<br />
FINALLY, never take your eyes of those illustrious Flunk Day Planners! They know all…and they may let something slip. Be vigilant and may the odds be ever in your favor!<br />
<br />
<br />
I work in the kitchen, and my supervisor told me that Flunk Day was going to be this week! <- CONFIRMED <- FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY<br />
<br />
definitely flunk day.<br />
<br />
FLUNK ALL THE THINGS!!!! <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
John Spittell moved a midterm from this week to next week... granted it was supposed to take place on Friday, but still. He KNOWS flunk day will be this week, and Monday is the most probable day for the flunkage. <-CONFIRMED. DEFINITELY FLUNK DAY. <--- Our greek midterm was moved back to the end of the week when it was supposed to be tomorrow too. Our professor told us it was specifically because the huge probability for flunk day being in the next day or two.<br />
<br />
flunkflunkflunkflunkflunkflunk<br />
<br />
Jack Moore and Regina are both in Chicago this weekend on "personal" vacations. Very suspicious <-- not really, because they're both from Chicago. #idiot<---S my D. Freshmen<-- confirmed that Jack went home, but Regina is cozy in her suite. <--Definitely Flunk Day tomorrow. Last year the planners went "out of town" right before flunk day. <--CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Flunk day probably won't be on a Monday- it has been on a Monday for the past two years.<-- THEY'RE STATISTICALLY INDEPENDENT!<br />
<br />
Last year, Flunk Day was the Monday after Senate Finance Committee did next year's club budgets all weekend. Finance Committee is doing budgets this weekend. Flunk?<br />
<br />
Conger/Neal you NEED to dig the mudpit tonight. No excuses. That includes you Abe Eastman. <--- mudpit is dug? <-- have everyone in your suite donate a few bucks and go to Walmart and buy a few bags of topsoil. THIS IS ESSENTIAL. The mudpit will not be successful unless there is extra "mud" added to it. <--- enlist the help of Sigma Chi! They are SUPER helpful. <--- Actually, just enlist the help of Joe Rogers. The rest of them are lazy fucks. <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
According to a trusted source (a professor), Flunk day will be either today or tomorrow. <---Professors are always a trustworthy source of flunk day information <--- Not. <---Professors don't know when flunk day is...except for Jon Wagner, the secret is hidden behind his impenetrable eyelids.<br />
<br />
I work at the Gizmo and Linda thinks it might be Monday! <-- CONFIRMED! Linda knows EVERYTHING <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn is at Red Robin drinking margaritas. Flunk Day must be Monday!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey nerds, the mud pit is bigger than it was last year. Slow your roll. <-- THIS IS HUGE!<br />
<br />
P.S. We know the mudpit is the only good part about flunk day.<br />
<br />
Where are the planners?! Jack? Regina? Kaitlyn? updates people, updates. --> Regina seen walking to the Kappa house at approx. 9 pm<br />
<br />
absolutely ZERO events on the calendar... el dia de flunk? <-- There are 0 events for the next 3 days. Can't rule out Tuesday and Wednesday for this piece of evidence.<br />
<br />
Vince Rug seen filling up water balloons in his kitchen.<--Confirmed.<--He is also a suspected secret flunk day planner.<br />
<br />
Gizmo workers were overheard saying that the Flunk Day food shipment hasn't even arrived yet. <---false. Multiple sources have confirmed the presence of the nutritious flunk day food<br />
<br />
This entire section of the page just vanished from the Wiki Fire for five minutes. Perhaps the planners trying to cover something up? THIS COULD BE HUGE. <----- CONFIRMED!! suspicious for sure<br />
<br />
NOW THERE ARE TWO! <---- CONFIRMED!!! That's double the chances! <-- flunk day is on april 23 for sure <- THIS COULD BE HUGE<---Now there are 23 copies of "April 23rd"...FLUNK DAY!!!!<br />
<br />
ALL THE DATES ARE APRIL 23! Scare or clue?<br />
<br />
ASHLEY IS HOSTING A PROSPECTIVE STUDENT TONIGHT IN THE ADMISSION'S SUITE......SORRY BUT IT CANNOT BE FLUNK DAY! <---Actually prospective students have been here on past flunk days. THE FLUNK IS STILL ON!!!!<----well that would sure suck for the admission's host.....<--Yeah can anyone confirm if this has happened before?<<<<< Ashley and all others hosting prospies were sent an email and text to bring their prospies to the admissions office before "engaging" in FLUNK activities. THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<CONFIRMED<---- Proof? Pics or it didn't happen<br />
<br />
Current moon phase- Waxing Crescent: http://www.calculatorcat.com/moon_phases/phasenow.php TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY <---THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
8:25pm: large rv (tour bus??) seen leaving hyvee parking lot and getting on the freeway toward moline...could it be our mystery performer checkin out the burg before heading to their hotel?? <--- Confirmed! A roadie was seen chasing after the bus shouting "wait for me guys!" He also may or may not have been dressed up as Doctor Doom.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling"casually" stopping by Regina's room. Last minute Flunk planning?<-----pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
Squirrels heard conversing about Flunk Day preparations and training their young about alcohol awareness. Little known fact: Squirrels are sent a memo with the date of Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
8:30pm - Kaitlyn Duling seen purchasing multiple treats in the c-store, including 2 bags of cheese popcorn, trolli gummy worms, ben and jerry's ice cream, altoids, trident gum, and a banana. Flunk treats? I think YES.<-- CONFIRMED. IT LOOKED DELICIOUS. <--- She also had blisters on her feet. Probably from running around planning for tomorrow... <-- Does she need any band-aids?<br />
<br />
8:30pm: silver car pulled over by SMC.. Could this be fulfulling Flunk day prophesy? <---PROPHESY FULFILLED! OUR DESTINY CANNOT BE REVERSED! FLUUUNK DAAAAAY!!!!<br />
<br />
8:50 pm: Helmut seen hurrying into Seymour. <--- The end is near.. <-- Can anyone confirm? Where is his car?<---He drives a red Mazda Miata.<br />
<br />
8:54 pm: Founders is a buzz with Flunk Fever!!<br />
<br />
8:59 pm: "2012" is on FX. Pre-Final Flunk celebration? <---- Inception is on HBO could this be a flunk within a flunk. prepare your totem.<br />
<br />
9:01 pm: ☯ k®♎∆§µ∆w♬ ☯ ︻╦╤─ <br />
<br />
9:03- NONE of the seniors are doing their homework, if Facebook is any indication. FLUNK DAAAY<---that's a symptom of being a senior<br />
<br />
ALOCHOL <--Typo. Must be drunk already. Flunk Day is tomorrow! <--- I MEANT WHAT I SAID. AL-O-CHOL.<br />
<br />
<br />
No admitted students are signed up for visits in Monday. They are a lot on scheduled Wednesday and they are legitimate. <-- FALSE. There are 3 students for Monday, 1 for Tuesday, and 8 for Wednesday. <-- I guess admitted students are going to see inebriated college students, then. <--- FALSE. There are NO ADMITTED STUDENTS LEFT. <-- There are visitors almost every day of the week year-round, whether they are admitted students coming back to audition or meet with professors, or high school juniors getting ahead on their college search. <-- IT IS THE FINAL FLUNK. NO ONE WILL BE LEFT. <---- SO WISEEEEEE<br />
<br />
9:43- The C-store is pretty much out of Coke, but there are tons of cartons of eggs.<br />
<br />
9:47 - IT IS TOMORROW HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--care to share why? <--- CARE TO HAVE FAITH? <---Because the more exclamation points you use, the more likely it becomes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- False. More exclamations points means that there it is most likely someone planning a scare <----- YOURE A SCARE! <--"Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind"-Terry Pratchett<br />
<br />
- Terry Pratchett.<br />
<br />
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
9:58 - BARRED OWL. Two conversing <---- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
10:00pm I can't reveal more details, because it has the potential to get me and my co-workers/bosses in trouble, but there have been some very mysterious goings-on in the Admissions Office.<--- PROOF?!?<br />
<br />
10:01 - Jim Mountjoy left for town. First time in two weeks. FLUNK DAY. <-- A past Greek Oaks person confirmed that the Professors leave Green Oaks for Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
10:11 - Too many exclamation marks on the WikiFire. FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
maybe flunk day is just the end of the world<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling just took her vitamins. Gearing up for the big day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
10:08pm- Suspected friar seen hurrying to her apartment carrying a large bag of alcohol. Friars are getting ready! THE END IS NEAR!<br />
<br />
10:05 PM Andrei Papancea was on the phone with Kaitlyn, hung up and whispered to Amanda G that tomorrow is Flunk Day<br />
<br />
10:13- Emily Young seen eating Pizza Rolls in bed. <--THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED SHE'S STILL EATING THEM!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
10:14 Rob Smith just sent an email attachment with the readings for WEDNESDAY....he usually passes them out in class which would be tomorrow.....THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
Get your shit together Knox, no more stupid posts about people that don't matter. <-- EVERYONE MATTERS TO SOMEONE. <-- How can you be mean to Emily Young??? She's so wonderful!<br />
<br />
<br />
People gettin' mean on the Wikifire. WHY CANT WE JUST ALL GET ALONG?! FOR THE FLUNK?! INTERROBANG?! <- the end is near, sometimes people need to be mean. <-- There's never any excuse for being mean<br />
<br />
" I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy" <---THE POSTER DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE <-CONFIRMED. POSTER GOES TO MONMOUTH.<br />
<br />
I'm sick and don't want to do my homework FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY!<br />
<br />
Lights on in the Union Board office..... <-- Pictures? <-- FEAST YER EYES http://i.imgur.com/vUPcb.jpg<br />
<br />
10:28 Betas seen on the porch, bagging windows and making loud noises... its flunk day tomorrow <--That is just Beta being Beta. Don't panic.<<<<<< Sources show that betas know the night before because one of the betas have family connections to administration and the school. It has happened the past 2 years that the betas party the night before but keep it quiet so they can be drunk rowdy assholes all day.<<<<<<CONFIRMED.<<<<<Cale Dahm, Senior at beta, says "What the flunk is that smell?" [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/eb5yxg.jpg[/IMG]<<<< AND TWO BETAS LIKE IT! THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
10:42 Multiple seniors seen at Walmart stocking up on various supplies<br />
<br />
10:45 Laundry room in Williston almost empty, save for one running dryer. Clean clothes soon to be soiled by the mud pit? <---This could be HUGE!!!!!! Break out your flunk day stash boys and girls, its flunking time!<br />
<br />
10:53 Just finished a 15 page assignment due tomorrow. It's DEFINITELY flunk day. Bring on the shots.<br />
<br />
11:00pm KITCHEN LIGHTS ON:<br />
<br />
-As seen from the outside the caf (note the lights above the buffet -- these aren't usually on) http://i.imgur.com/HwkbV.jpg<br />
-As seen from outside the oak room: http://i.imgur.com/S9DSt.jpg<br />
-As seen from between the doors to the Lincoln Room: http://i.imgur.com/r0YwD.jpg <---CONFIRMED! THEY ARE SO ON! THIS IS HUGE!<br />
<br />
11:00pm STAGE LEFT (on the lawn) http://i.imgur.com/Ycf1i.jpg <--- Holy shit, this picture sucks.<br />
<br />
11:00pm DOORS TO MAIL ROOM STILL OPEN (they are usually closed by now) http://i.imgur.com/bR1x1.jpg <---And the papers are off the windows!!Are they trying to throw us off the scent?<br />
<br />
11:22 PM LIZ WOODYARD AND CHRIS JOHNSON ARE OVER 9000% SURE ITS FLUNK DAY<------FLUNK LIASON TO ALUMNI<---------CONFIRMED <-neither of them are drinking tonight because they think it's flunk day tomorrow. I don't know what further proof anyone needs. <- CONFIRMED. <- DOUBLE CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Remember that glittery red face stuff they had in a box in the gallery? Pre-Flunk gift. They want us sparkly as hell for the big day! <--- false. it was from Galesburg HS's Prom. <-- But why share if it's not in support of Flunk Day festivities?<br />
<br />
11:35pm 2 fratboys just walked by our window and saying they can't wait for flunk day.. are they in the know? That's...I don't even.<br />
<br />
11:30 Kaitlyn Duling updated her timeline photo to a FLUNK DAY PICTURE!<-- CONFIRMED! Is she telling us something or is it tomfoolery? <--- DOUBLE CONFIRMED http://i.imgur.com/Annra.jpg <----CONFIRMEDx3 Kaitlyn loves tomfoolery <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
<br />
11:41 My mom claims that she hasn't gotten any emails. I told her to stop trolling. http://postimage.org/image/sibdm55aj/<br />
<br />
Straight off of Facebook: "Charlotte Garvin and 24 other friends changed their profile pictures." - Definitely Flunk day! <--- who cares she's a sophomore<br />
<br />
Speculating that the seniors are trolling us. This is happening way to early... <--- AGREED! We'll all be horribly let down when it isn't flunk day!<br />
<br />
11:44 The Union Board office lights are still on.. and its a Sunday night.. Flunk Day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
11:47 Conger-Neal kids filling up trashcan with water for mudpit <--Pics? isnt it a little early? <--- It's never too early to start on the mudpit, it should have been done weeks ago!<br />
<br />
At 10:59 pm Gregg Lewis sent an email to his voice student saying he was moving studio class tomorrow to friday. He said he would only move the class for FLUNK DAY. <-- And for the mandatory rehearsals for his out-of-town gig. Gregg doesn't know when Flunk Day is, and if he did, he probably wouldn't even realize he had a studio class scheduled for the same day.<br />
<br />
11:45 pm: Just checked all the campus parking lots (and I mean ALL OF THE PARKINGZ) and there was no sign of Helmut's convertible. <----two years ago he was dropped off and his car was not on campus <--- I searched also. I suspect he was dropped off.<br />
<br />
11:50pm: Kaitlyn Duling: If you can make Flunk Day not tomorrow, I will personally buy you band aids for your feet. I will find the same ones Bieber puts on his fingers. http://www.vulture.com/2010/09/justin_bieber_wears_band_aids.html <----Kaitlyn does love Bieber. Possible mystery flunk performer!? <--- I really hope it's not Bieber, I'd rather jump into shark-infested waters during a feeding frenzy<br />
<br />
12:03 AM: The mail server is down! Clearly a conspiracy to indicate they are preparing the flunk day email...<--CONFIRMED <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <--No one reads Steve Hall's emails. <--CONFIRMED <--- BUT WE DIDN'T GET A WARNING ABOUT SYSTEM MAINTENANCE! HE ALWAYS SENDS THOSE! <--[http://www.knox.edu/offices-and-services/information-technology-services/help-desk-support/news-and-alerts.html Check it out], email migration started at midnight.<br />
<br />
12:27 AM: STOP DELETING THIS DAY<br />
<br />
12:29 AM: XKCD updated and it's about the end of the world. Obviously, tomorrow's Flunk Day: http://xkcd.com/1046/<br />
<br />
12:33 AM: Seniors holding mystery meeting at Cherry Street tonight? Can someone confirm? <--- Confirmed that they're fucking with us! Cherry Street is closed! <---- LOL! Now the Seniors know how much it sucks to fuck with the underclassmen! <br />
<br />
12:35am: Seniors are aware !!! TOMORROW (or today) <b>IS NOT FLUNK DAY!</b> <---- planning a scare DOES NOT mean that they KNOW flunk day is not tomorrow. they don't find out this early <----- They planned a scare last year on the real Flunk Day. That doesn't matter. <br />
<br />
12:43 AM: Gizmo calendar next to the register reads '''FLUNK DAY!''' This is clearly a sign that it's Flunk Day. <--- Pics or it didn't happen. <-- http://imgur.com/55377 Had to take it close because crappy phone camera. This could be HUGE <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
12:49 AM: I'm 12 and what is this? <--- What is this I don't even<br />
<br />
1:06 AM: There's something on the calendar about little kids coming to campus to learn languages. Can anyone confirm if this is real? <-- yes they do it in GDH every Monday<br />
<br />
1:20 AM: 40 seniors were pranked (?) into thinking that they were friars. Phone number is based in North Carolina and the only two people that are from NC are Clarke Cuthbert (no longer going to Knox) and Krista Nordgren, both seniors. <---Can't forget Rachel L.!<br />
<br />
1:57am-Rumor is the friar emails just went out!! Can someone confirm this? <---Server is up, but emails are probably a hoax. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
1:59 am: Silly Bands are on all of Seymour 3A's doors IT IS FUCKING FLUNK DAY<--What's a silly band and what does this mean??? <<-- Pictures, man, PICTURES! We crave sensible evidence! <----- [[File:Photo_on_2012-04-23_at_02.14.jpg]] ON ALL OF 3A's door knobs but not 3B WHYYYY???<br />
<br />
2:26 AM: It's Clint Davis's birthday today! Clearly this is a conspiracy and it has to be Flunk Day in honor of the coolest guy on campus. Happy Birthday Clint!<br />
<br />
2:34 AM: Server is down again.<br />
<br />
2:49am- There seems to be some activity around Tompkins apartments. Doesn't Jil live there? <- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
3:12 AM- Javier and Teresa were spotted by the train tracks hitting Javier's four-footer. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
4:36 AM: Everyone has gone to sleep, seemingly giving up speculating about a monday flunkpocalypse. I am left alone, cold, and procrastinating to hold out against all odds. This could be huge. <-------- You're never alone in the hunt for the Flunk.<br />
<br />
5:12 AM: HELMUT IS HERE! Just saw him walking towards seymour as i walked out to go back to post. <--Does he normally got to breakfast?<br />
<br />
6:06 AM: No email, not flunk day.<br />
<br />
== April 24th ==<br />
Everything disappeared because the final flunk is April 23rd, there is no April 24th. The world will end after the final flunk!!! So line up the shots, break into your stash, jump in the mud pit and flunking have a flunking fun flunk day!!!<br />
<br />
No promise that the 23rd is flunk day but if it isn't we will have to wait until at least Wednesday as there are home softball games on Tuesday. Confirmation on opponents schedule: http://www.mac.edu/athletics/softball/scores.asp <-- Athletic events can be fake. And even if this one isn't, Flunk Day has flunked up athletic events in the past. <--- Flunk Day has occurred on days where there have been away sporting events, not any home ones though. And this ISN'T fake. That was the point in showing the opponents schedule, MacMurray would not put it on their website if it were not actually going to occur. <-- Unless they don't know it's not going to occur...<-- Why isn't MacMurray softball on the Knox events calendar? Suspicious...<br />
<br />
Zumba is cancelled! <br />
<br />
Forrest thinks Flunk Day is today. Forrest always knows. <-- Hippie Forrest? He thought yesterday was flunk day.<br />
<br />
9:20am DINING SERVICES RECEIVING FOOD SHIPMENT RIGHT NOW. <-- I thought they already received the Flunk food? <---- the caf gets a food shipment every weekday. irrelevant<br />
<br />
9:30am What do the Flunk Day shirts look like this year? <--- Sad and grey, like the fact that they didn't do student-designed shirts again. <-- Have you seen the 2010 shirts? Horrible! <--- Sad? who are you kidding- in four years this is the ONLY shirt I WANT to buy and have bought! and it is not typical for a student-designed contest... last year was the only hear I heard of it.<br />
<br />
10:07am Dean Breitborde cancels Tuesday's Curriculum Committee meeting, very rare. <-- http://i40.tinypic.com/2yyo9xk.png <--re-post with the to and from, the image looks sketchy. < -- first of all, go fuck yourself. Sketchy? incorrect: http://i40.tinypic.com/15yewdx.jpg Some people are great flunktectives, you aren't. <---Looks damn credible. The Final Flunk is upon us. <br />
Didn't Larry clear his whole schedule for flunk day last year??? This could be important... anyone have a meeting cancelled with him later in the day??<br />
<br />
12:20pm Grab n Go staff worker says we'll be anticipating Flunk Day for a couple of weeks yet. Trying to throw us off the scent?<--Who, Marla? She's totally flunking with you.<-- No I heard that Helmut hinted to her that it won't be in April. But he could be lying. <br />
<br />
Tuesday (this day) is the Bradley Girl Talk trip. Buses have been reserved. Students have paid for tix. doesn't bode well for flunkage.<---Could be a hoax to throw people off. Not much advertising for this event. The buses could be used for friars... <-- does flunk day have an official end time? If students are not supposed to leave for girl talk until after dinner, they could just have a really long day. <-- Flunk Day is from 6:30am to 11:00pm. Technically. <-- I have staunchly believed that this Girl Talk excursion has been fake since the day we received that email. Yes, students paid for tickets...but that money can easily be refunded. They only sold tickets for two days, from 5:30-7:30. Usually when Union Board tables they at least try to do some lunch hours. The whole thing seems sketchy as flunk...and since it's a Union Board activity, they can EASILY cancel it. And I'm pretty sure that people wouldn't be upset about missing out on this in order to celebrate Flunk Day. < -- It is also really weird that the trip is not on Union Board's facebook events page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Knox-College-Union-Board/233752620674?sk=events <br />
**It is a known fact that Jil Gates is friends with the Bradley director-- The concert is a cover up as the receptionist for Bradley had no idea that Knox was coming to the concert!!! --- PROOF?? This could be huge. <-- Tickets to the Girl Talk concert are sold to the public through Ticketmaster, so of course the receptionist had no idea what you were talking about. <-- If they were sold through Ticketmaster, it is possible that they were never purchased at all. <br />
<br />
74 Degrees and party cloudy. Sounds like some good flunking weather.<br />
<br />
Regina sent out the work schedule for Flunk Day. Proof that it could be reallllllly soon! <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<br />
<br />
Received a text from a friend and Flunk observer in DeKalb at NIU: "I just saw a truck pulling some carnival equipment and I think it is going to Galesburg for The Final Flunk. Nevermind if it was going the wrong way, it's probably to confuse everyone." THIS COULD BE HUGE. <-- Ha.<br />
<br />
4:53pm: Saw Jil Gates walking from downtown area. Dressed in Grey and Black- looked sketchy... must have been on a FLUNK DAY mission... what else brings her out of her office before 6pm! Last minute errands for FLUNK DAY!!!!<br />
<br />
Lance Factor cancelled wednesday's Environmental Ethics course because he knows we'll all be too hungover to come to class.<br />
Monica Berlin also cancelled her evening class tomorrow for a mysterious play that her son is in at school that she knew nothing about, except that the theme is "Individuality." Strange how so many professors are cancelling classes...<-- also Monica never cancels class...and what kind of parent doesn't know anything about their son's play? And wouldn't she have known for a while and could have told her class earlier in the term? <---what kind of play is on a Tuesday night? <---Gabe Raley emailed ANSO 103 to lighten the work load...MORE TIME 2 FLUNK.<br />
<br />
Sketchy things observed by seniors during the scare this morning: <br/> (Also, These are true. These things happened. I would not shit you. But whether or not they predict Flunk Day as tomorrow remains to be seen.) <br/><br />
1. Craig Southern was in his office at 5:50am...not quite normal, right? Regardless of if lottery numbers are stressing him out, why would he show up to work two hours early? Answer: getting extra work done because he knows that Tuesday is Flunk Day. <br/> <br />
2. As we ran by the first-year side of Post and continued back towards Hamblin/Exec, a custodial worker yelled at us "You guys have the wrong day! It's tomorrow!" <br/><br />
3. Jack Moore was absent, yet he participated in the previous Epic Scare. According to several sources, he got 12 hours of sleep last night, from 10pm to 10am. Why? Preparation for Flunk of course! <-----------Or, he does this every night, because he is a huge blower lame. <----nah, he's just HUGE. <br />
<br />
10:17 PM Just spotted Xavier at America's Best Value with a four foot bong!!!!! <----confirmed!! THIS COULD BE HUGE! <--- QUADRUPLE CONFIRMED...ONCE FOR EACH FOOT OF HIS BONG!<br />
<br />
it's too calm here <--probably because everyone was so disappointed this morning that no one wants to get their hopes up. also it's only 10:34<br />
<br />
HAM! for flunk day! <---- and SNACKS!! <-- ???<br />
<br />
11:16 PM C'mon people, is no one else here? Let's not get disheartened. Anything seem suspicious? ANYWHERE? <--- The fact that there is nothing suspicious is suspicious! < -- Suspected calm before the storm.<br />
<br />
Did anyone think that maybe all the action last night was a distraction? that all the pre-FLUNK action was done last night in an attempt to throw us off. and tonight the inactivity is to make us unaware of FLUNK DAY tomorrow. they want us to be discouraged by getting our hopes high for April 23 when the actual FLUNK is April 24.. <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
Campus Safety sent TKS the Campus Safety Log today instead of Tuesday. Katy Sutcliffe has written it for three years and says that has NEVER ONCE HAPPENED. Flunk Day must be tomorrow so they had to write it today!<br />
<br />
Debbie Southern just emailed me to make an appointment for tomorrow. Possible evidence against flunk day? Possibly just flunking with us?<--- why is debbie southern still awake?<--staying up late for the Flunk? THIS COULD BE HUGE<---Dibbie is sick. No appointments tomorrow. '''Lawl. '''This could also be huge.''''''<br />
<br />
12:56 AM Alum, Carlyse Owens, living in Chicago area, feeling the Flunk. Must be Flunk Day<br />
<br />
12:57 AM Lights on in Mailroom <-- Pics or it didn't happen.<--Can anyone confirm? <----Confirmed! But no lights behind the boxes. <--- Saw some weird-looking things in mailboxes, could have just been unchecked spam mail, could be something more?<br />
<br />
2:00 AM- It smells bad outside. Flunk Funk?<br />
<br />
4:34 AM- Caf and Dining Service lights are on. Several workers have been spotted. Lots of movement. Preparing Flunk breakfast? #ithinkso <------ Can anyone confirm? <--- Confirmed! Working in the Rodge Lodge and I hear lots of movement upstairs. Also #hashtagsaredumb<br />
<br />
4:0? AM- Senior Alex L heard singing down the stairs of the Yellows. Friar?<br />
<br />
5:28 AM group of frosts gathering by the Townhouses <----- CAN ANYONE CONFIRM? CAUSE THIS COULD BE FREAKING HUGE.<br />
<br />
5:45 AM FLUNK FAIL. <br />
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6:04 Not today folks, nope.<br />
<br />
== April 25th ==<br />
<br />
Too bad Flunk Day wasn't Monday... now it won't even be a surprise. Union Board Fail. I am disappoint. <- seconded. <- everyone's always disappointed in Union Board <- CONFIRMED <- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <-THIS COULD BE HUGE <- THIS IS ALREADY HUGE <- THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID <- UNION BOARD STILL SUCKS <- CONFIRMED <br />
<br />
John Spittell and Daniel Beers both think Flunk Day is Wednesday. Done deal. <-- Beers is my boy.<br />
<br />
Zazen meditation is the only event on the calendar. Is it Flunk or is it foolery?<br />
<br />
They added a photo exhibit to the schedule, but it's at the Civic Art Center. Trying to throw us off the scent of Flunk?<br />
<br />
Sam Martone's official prediction says sam martone sucks. So he obviously does <--CONFIRMED <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <--THIS COULD BE HUGE <- TRIPLE CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
This is definitely the day of flunk just going on a whim here<br />
<br />
If this isn't the sanctioned date of Flunk Day, the school should revolt and flunk anyways. No more scares. GIVE US THE FINAL FLUNK! <--CONFIRMED <--DOUBLE CONFIRMED <-- TRIPLE CONFIRMED. We need to make sure the whole school knows!<br />
<br />
Debbie Southern cancelled an important weekly meeting because the 25th is Secretary's Day... A lame cover-up if you ask me.<br />
<br />
Today is Flunk Day. Yep.<br />
<br />
The suspected musical guest is Gym Class Heroes. On their tour they are in Macomb on the 23rd and then in NY on the 28th. Why the break? FLUNK DAY OF COURSE. <--- Bands take breaks on tour for any variety of reasons. There are also gaps like this in their schedule for May, too. <--- We all know bands always have gaps in their tour schedules. Clearly the original poster doesn't mean they're taking a break FOR flunk day, just that there's always the option that they can be here... <-- It has been reported on the Facebook page today that Gym Class is too expensive... http://www.facebook.com/events/413379372024883/ who could it be???<br />
<br />
<br />
There are fifteen prospies coming Wednesday, so today is probably notttt the day. 5 of them are due to stay overnight also. <--- prove it. FLUUUNK DAY BETCHES! <--- Admissions has been known to make-up prospects to visit on flunk day so this is just more evidence that this IS flunk day <----Prospies can be here on flunk day. <-------- ALSO, three different people working with admissions have told me three different numbers of prospies for Wednesday. Sketchy? <---- Proof for Prospies on flunk day: I stayed overnight on Flunk Day last year.<br />
<br />
It's going to be rainy as fuck. Indoor flunks? Flunk in the rain? <--- they always set a rain date for Flunk Day, so if it's pouring out, Flunk Day will be postponed and we would be none the wiser... <--Ummm I thought the company they used was from like Florida or some coast, I'm sure once the date is chosen after a certain time, whether rain or shine they can't turn back on it. SO FLUNK THE RAIN! It will only make for a better mudpit!<---- It's not going to be "rainy as fuck." Learn how much 30-40% chance actually means. <-- It means the weatherpeople don't got their shit straight. <---Before you get angry maybe you should check the forecast again idiot<br />
<br />
Williston's janitor Gary said in passing that today's the day. Someone needs to find out what he knows!<br />
<br />
It is today if it is indeed this week. :) hi <--The campus life calendar is not trustworthy.<br />
<br />
All Day: Beta's seen being idiots, everyday. Flunk day doesnt matter when your always awesome <---CONFIRMED <-----you're* <---Bad grammar doesn't matter when they're just proving their point about being idiots. <----Exactly why I pointed it out.<br />
<br />
There are only two online assignments lined up for phys 167, when there are normally enough to cover at least a week and a half. Schulz must be preparing to cover Wednesday's material on Friday! <-- This MUST be the case. The Physics department knows all!<br />
<br />
Craig Southern sent out an email earlier today in which he said all housing applications are to be picked up Wednesday (April 25th) and filled out and returned the next day. Would he tell people to pick up housing applications on flunk day?<----Those who are going to apply for a single better be on their shit. <----why would he know/care? <-- He also just sent out an e-mail saying that the forms are due on Thursday at 4PM, but he did not say anything about Wednesday.<--- Yeah he did, "all applications will be available beginning tomorrow (Wednesday) in the Campus Life Office."<br />
<br />
Flunk Day is ruining my life. <br />
<br />
HAM! on flunk day!<br />
<br />
10:30am Helmut has dining services staff member Denise prepare the cucumber sauce for tomorrow's gyro bar this morning. Sign of no flunk?<br />
<br />
11:40am theyre mowing the lawns <-- they mowed the lawns yesterday! double mow since they won't be able to mow around the moon bounce and dance party tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Prophetic dream that flunk day was tomorrow. Also, in dream, Jil Gates was going around saying "why do you assume that flunk day has to only last for one day?" My dreams have been proven true 25% of the time. <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
3:27 p.m. George with the really long hair who graduated last year spotted on campus! He must BE BACK FOR FLUNK DAY! Alumni always know! <-- He has been back for about a week. SNU was doing a thing. <-he came back for SNU's activation<br />
<br />
3:10pm important chem 399 ACS speaker rescheduled to speak next Wednesday. <---I'm in chem 399 too, can you back this up?<br />
<br />
3:50 p.m. A group of ol dmen, maybe Alumni, walking towards CFA. Overheard one ask, "Well? Is it going to be Flunk Day tomorrow?" Another, looking like he had authority, said, "No. It's not." They were all dressed in suits. one carried a roller briefcase. Another was wearing a bowler hat. <-there was only one set of footprints in the sand. when asked why, Jesus responded "sand people ride single file to hide their numbers"<br />
<br />
4:10 p.m. Helmut just left campus in his red convertible. I work in the caf, so I know he usually works until 6-7ish. Getting ready for an early morning?<br />
<br />
4:09 pm Kathleen Drake sent an email to Williston about damages on Flunk Day. WHY WAIT UNTIL NOW?<br />
<br />
5:10 pm Jack Moore and Kaitlyn Duling exiting Jil Gates's apartment. Last minute flunk planning?<br />
<br />
I LOVE FLUNK DAY <-- I LOVE YOU AND FLUNK DAY <---CONFIRMED <---This not only COULD be huge, IT '''IS''' HUGE! <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
The Quickie man thinks wednesday is the day!!<br />
<br />
5:19 PM: JPow cancels his fifth period microeconomics class because he's "going out of town tomorrow". Going out of town, or getting started early for THE FINAL FLUNK?! <--- NO. He's definitely not getting ready for an early flunk. Trust me. <- Jpow does not think tomorrow is flunk day.<br />
<br />
6:20pm: I went to buy gin at the Quickie and this was my conversation with the Quickie guy: <br/><br />
Quickie Guy: "Only one more day!" <br/><br />
Me: "Do you think it's tomorrow?" <br/><br />
QG: "It's ''always'' tomorrow." <br/><br />
Me: "Yeah, you're right..." <br/><br />
QG: "But no I think it's tomorrow. I just have a feeling." <br/><br />
BAM. Quickie Guy has a feeling. Start drinking. -->> ALREADY STARTED. <br />
<br />
6:30 PM Seniors seen purchasing flunk day materials at Hyvee and Walmart. Let the games begin. <- [http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/22400000/Jack-Sparrow-GIF-johnny-depp-22453636-500-190.gif a problem we won't be having] <-liz? <br />
<br />
7:01 PM around 10-11 hours from now, we shall all be flunking.<br />
<br />
7:08 PM Josh Balk texted Lexi Vernon saying that EMT class was canceled for tonight because he was "stuck on a call." Obviously, he just wants a good night's sleep before he's extra busy ambulancing people from the Final Flunk.<br />
<br />
7:12 PM Seniors are preparing Jello shots for the final flunk. <--- Don't seniors do this on a daily basis? <--- Speaking as a senior, yes. Every day. Jello shots.<br />
<br />
Approx. 6 PM: Saw Teresa Amott walking around with the man in the bowler hat and the man with the rolling suitcase. They were carrying four-foot bongs. <<--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
A student in Professor Fowler's class said that he knows tomorrow is Flunk Day because he can PREDICT THE FUTURE. <---Seems legit. <-- THE LEGITIMACY OF THIS KNOWLEDGE IS OUT OF ANYONE'S CONTROL!!!!! LEGIT FLUNK NOW AND FOREVER!!! WE WILL RISE TO SEE A NEW FUTURE OF FLUNK AND FRIVOLITY!!! FOREVER AND EVER UNTIL DOOMSDAY DO WE PART! <-----Fowler is always legit. And always very very good looking! I say we believe him!<br />
<br />
Approx. 7:30 p.m. Jack Moore spotted wearing Flunk Day shirt in caf. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW GUYS.<br />
<br />
'''THIS IS BIG!!! earlier today two students drove past a large, ELECTRIC PURPLE TOUR BUS on MAIN STREET. Our musical guest?!?!?!?!?!?!?''' <-----only logical guess is then PRINCE. <--- pics or it didn't happen. <--- I don't have a smart phone, SORRY but you're just going to have to trust a fellow knoxer. <br />
<br />
Suspected Musical Guest: Rebecca Black. <- Confirmed by Craig Southern <-- This is only ok if she performs the Flunk Day version of "Friday". <----everyone would puke up their alcohol consumption of the day<br />
<br />
Earlier today a unusual moving truck was spotted parked near the HyVee http://thewikifire.org/images/3/39/Truck.jpg <--legit. ,<-- CONFIRMED SAW THAT TRUCK LAST NIGHT DRIVING CIRCLES AROUND TOWN.<br />
<br />
8:18 PM Flunking Flunk should just Flunk.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day is coming. The Starks are always right eventually. <-----CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
8:30 Former Flunk Day [http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/23/flunkdayplaners.jpg Planers] spotted flying into Peoria.<br />
<br />
Today, Nancy Eberhardt told her ANSO 326 class to be "awake and cheery and ready for a great class discussion" on Thursday. Suspicious? I think Yes.<br />
<br />
8:40pm hyvee wine and spirits worker says he has seen a lot of knox customers today and damn do we drink a lot, way to keep it classy <-you were clearly there as well, so flunk off. <-- Cool flunk spirit, bro. ^^ o are you just upset that you cant legally buy booze yet? sucks to suck. <--We stimulate the Galesburg economy with our purchases of vodka and gummy bears.<br />
<br />
9:04 PM Jill Gates' door closes fairly hard....Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
9:12 PM- Forgot to post this earlier. Three unmarked white vans circled campus several times this morning around second period. These were NOT the vans that are normally passing the school to carry train workers to the yard. Vendors checking out the space for tomorrow? The FBI? Javier's vans full of bongs? <--The FBI has black SUVs. Don't you watch Criminal Minds <--- they had Indiana plates. Gotta look at that shit. There was also a softball game going on.<br />
<br />
9:16 PM ERHMAGEHRD... FLERHHNK DERRRHHH<br />
<br />
9:20pm - my Danielle Fatkin class for tomorrow was cancelled 'due to illness'... COULD THAT BE COVERUP FOR FLUNK? ---> No, professors don't know when it is Flunk-->And anyway if they did know, there would be no reason to cancel class. Logic, people. Use it. <-- I know that. It's called hype. Stop spoilers. <--- CONFIRMED. DANIELLE FATKIN IS THE FLUNK DAY QUEEN! <---- Whoever confirmed this is an idiot!!! <---- CONFIRMED <--- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <---You're an idiot. I'LL BE FLUNKING LONG BEFORE YOU EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. <--- Dude, she always cancels class.<br />
<br />
The Senate Exec debates are tomorrow, would they really cancel that for Flunk Day?.....I think yes! =D <--- Depending on when they sent it in, it won't matter <--- very unclear response! IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW!!! <--- Already have back-up plans on Facebook page, asshole! <-- I was being genuine. <br />
<br />
My friend said she's planning to finger herself tomorrow, would she really plan to masturbate if tomorrow was FLUNK DAY???? <-- Who wouldn't masturbate on Flunk Day. <--- Everyone who gets laid.<br />
<br />
Helmut seen driving around Galesburg near HyVee. What would he be doing at 9:30 on a Tuesday night if it wasn't flunk day?! <--Confirmed! <--- Pics or it didn't happen!<br />
<br />
9:34pm- Jil Gates apartment lights are off. They are never off. Definitely Flunk Day. <-- isn't she at the Girl Talk thing? <--- SUPPOSEDLY. that's what she said today. but who really knows? is anyone's friends there? can they confirm Jil's presence????<br />
<br />
9:51pm-Seniors seen being sketchy by Hamblin/Tompkins. <--- What else is new?<--Even if tomorrow's not Flunk Day, logic says there'll be a scare, so of course seniors are sketch.<br />
<br />
The baseball coaches were having a private meeting after the games today and a player overheard them saying it was flunk day tomorrow.<-- Wait, would they know? <--- BASEBALL COACHES KNOW ALL! START DRINKING!!!<br />
<br />
Someone said that a fire marshal said it was flunk day on wednesday. <--- I overheard my sister talking to a friend who heard her uncle tell his brother-in-law that Jesus talked to Ghandi about Flunk Day 2012, Ghandi told Jesus that it was on May 25th. <--- emergency services are told nothing of impending Flunkitude. I've tried getting info from the paramedics I do ride-alongs with, but they had none to give, and were not happy about it.<br />
<br />
945 pm jack Moore seen driving away from campus. Last seen heading north on academy <--Seniors in pursuit. Will report back.<br />
<br />
10:10 pm Jack Moore seen walking with a group of seniors on West Street towards Post<br />
<br />
10:15 pm - Went to the 4th stall in Seymour 3 and found shit in the bowl in the shape of an "F." Gotta be Flunk Day. Thanks for the heads up, Alphie!<br />
<br />
10:20pm Miss Maggie is in the kitchen. Is she making vegan flunk day breakfast treats for her Mu Mu sisters? <--Confirmed! Tomorrow is flunk day! <-- Miz Maggie save me somadat vegan fixins! Guuuuurl dont forget the pot butter!<br />
<br />
Beautiful late night story telling....FLUNK DAY. How much more proof do you need?<br />
<br />
10:15 The Quickie man told me that at this time, (I had arrived 15 minutes later) a large group of "Outsiders" had come into the quickie, along with a lot of vehicle traffic during the day. This could be huge.<br />
<br />
10:30pm Caf lady seen pushing half-empty garbage can with empty bags in it from Seymour to the loading dock <-- also mail room doors closed and paper only on one window.. ---> pics??<br />
<br />
10:52pm seen a long ass-white truck driving towards where there is hotels at. Could this be flunk day stuff? I think so! <--- What does ass-white look like? Is it kind of like an eggshell white? <- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
11:04pm - just got pulled over by the cops. apparently failed to signal?! As the cop comes back with the ticket : "Why all the liquor in the back. Are a Knox kid?" Me: "Yes" Cop: "Oh, I didn't know they were telling you guys when flunk day is" Me: "They don't! But everyone thinks it is tomorrow!" Cop: "Ha ha ha, guess they are right. They told us in our shift meeting to expect drunk students in the morning hours" ....Since this i love the cops (at least until they bust us the next time.) <---- Can you confirm? I just texted someone on GPD who heard nothing about this....doubtful!<br />
<br />
11:11pm http://i.imgur.com/uwb2y.jpg<br />
<br />
11:31pm I smelled outside. It smelled like Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
11:32pm Just FYI, Blink 182 has a purple tour bus http://images.travelpod.com/tw_slides/ta00/a59/198/we-slept-next-to-44s-tour-bus-blink-182-riegelwood.jpg They are also a group, have had a song in the billboard top 100, and they don't have to be in Oklahoma until May 10th!!!!!!! FLUNK DAY BREAK?!?!?! <---If we really cant afford Gym Class, this is not even remotely close to possible, that being said, it would be awesome <---coming from arguably THE biggest blink fan on campus, there is no way its them. They're in rehearsal for a short european stint and Bamboozle. I follow all members on twitter and they're all rehearsing in Los Angeles california as of today. that said, I would go into a coma if they played here.<br />
<br />
Guys, clearly they got Swedish rock band Europe to play for us. Final Flunk needs Final Countdown.<br />
<br />
11:38pm Activity spotted in campus life! VIDEO PROOF: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0 <---- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
11:39 PM OH LOOK AT ME I CAN POST A POEM TOO, LOOK AT HOW ARTISTIC I AM. REFRIGERATOR. --> pics or it didn't happen!!!!!!!!!!!! <- [http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/there-it-goes-the-last-fuck-i-give.gif proof] <- James? <-that gif is awesome <- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
11:45pm Prospie in the admissions suite<----LIAR!!!!!! <---- PROSPIES BEING HERE DON'T MATTER. STOP CARING ABOUT THE PROSPIES<br />
<br />
11:49pm- THE WORDEN SEEN NAKED THRU WINDOW MUST BE FLUNK DAY! (changing... yes i watch... im from asain house.)<br />
<br />
11:50pm: Kaitlyn just showed up in Regina's suite unexpectedly! <---- FALSE, they don't even go here. <br />
<br />
11:55pm: Sienna is talking to herself in founders. <----CONFIRMED, SO LOUD.<br />
<br />
12:01am-There are A LOT of vehicles in the Holiday Inn Express Parking lot for a Tuesday night in Galesburg. Including a truck carrying a large pulley system. Flunk Day Equipment. Yes. <---- Can anyone confirm? Pics? <---I can confirm. Was also at the Comfort Inn?, or another galesburg hotel (checked many), there earlier, three trailers attached to trucks and vans. In the back of one of the trucks was what i believe was a large air compressor, perfect for inflatables<br />
<br />
12:03 a.m. Helm's Deep has fallen, and it did it with weird subtitles. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW.<------False Helm's Deep never falls. Unless you see trees moving around campus, not sure what this has to do with Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
12:11 a.m. - The math problems to edit the wikifire are getting harder. Trying to inhibit communication? FLUNK. --> It's because we're all already drunk --> CONFRIRMED<br />
<br />
STOP TALKING ABOUT THE MUDPIT. CAMPUS SAFETY CAN USE THE INTERNET TOO.<br />
<br />
12:21 Saw the Knox Fox partying with the Betas. It's so Flunk Day.<br />
12:24 Tom Axtell is acting like Robert De Niro. DEFINITELY Flunk Day. <----CONFIRMED! THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
12:23 am.: Kaitlin Duling and Regina seen LEAVING A SUITE TOGETHER while WEARING BACKPACKS.<br />
<br />
12:23 am: Got a text from a friend: "Way suspicious semi in a dark corner of the menards lot. Unmarked." (they're going back for pics)<br />
<br />
12:43 a.m. Lights on in the mail room, but not behind the boxes. Nothing covering the windows. <---- Try at like 4 or 5 AM. That's when they actually stuff mailboxes. <--- not true, Neil told me he had to spend the night in the mailroom once because if he left at 2AM, students would know it was flunk day.<br />
<br />
I'm flunking tomorrow, I guess today, regardless of whether it is flunk day or not. Just saying.<br />
<br />
12:47 a.m.: Jill Gates seen entering Campus Life Office! Why else would she do so unless tomorrow is El Dia de Flunk?? <--- To throw us off maybe. But this COULD be HUGE!!! Any confirmations? <---- i'm sure this is true, but i'm sure they just got back from the girl talk concert.<br />
<br />
1:02 am: Another text: "We nearly definitively found flunk day. Lots of trucks and vans with equipment and out of state license plates at holiday inn express. Have pics" (awaiting pics)<--It's been a half an hour. <br />
<br />
1:05 am: [[Andy Glass]] is [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ]<br />
<br />
Miss Congeniality got it right. <br />
Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date. <br />
Cheryl "Rhode Island": That's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.<br />
<br />
1:18 am: I haven't had sex since November 22, tomorrow please be flunk day so I can get laid by some drunk girl! <-- and the award for sleaziest comment on the Wiki Fire goes to... <--- To the loser who can't get laid: I pity you. <--- November 22 is my birthday!!! But yeah this post... < As a girl who's not yet had her first kiss, let alone get laid, you, sir, are pathetic. <-- What happened to consent v. rape?? <--- The fact that I need to get girls drunk to get laid isn't pathetic, it's called game #winning <--- Actually it's called being a dick. Congratulations on being a man-slut. <-- CONFIRMED! <-- Hey, original poster. If you get girls drunk to have sex with them, you are a rapist. The girls cannot give consent when they are inebriated, and you are taking advantage of that. <br />
<br />
1:27 Helmut spotted walking down Cherry Street with Roger Taylor and Jesus. THIS COULD BE HUGE! <---False, they were just on their way to Cherry Street Restaurant to break up a barfight between Doctor Doom and a gang of velociraptors. NOT a Flunk Day sign.<br />
<br />
<br />
1:19am lights in the mail room are on, nothing in mailboxes as of yet kitchen lights are on but no movement. Suspicious grey sedan pulled up next to seymour. 4 people got out and went to the mail room, 3 minutes late 2 people get back in the car and leave. Something smell flunky?<br />
<br />
^That picture is fucking huge <--- CONFIRMED!!!<br />
<br />
1:48 AM Activity heard, but not seen, outside Jill Gates' apartment.<br />
<br />
1:49 AM William Shatner seen leaving Jill Gates' apartment with a false beard and a stovepipe hat. Celebrity Lincoln impersonator? <--- Was Takei dressed as Mary Todd? <-- ALL OF THIS. WANT.<br />
<br />
2:02 am inside sources tell me that Los Lonely Boys are the mystery performers <--- they have to be in Denver by tomorrow night (the 26th). I doubt their flunkiness bro.<------ pokerface.jpg<br />
<br />
2:12 am Suspicious white vehicle parked with lights on outside Seymour loading dock. Engine on, looks to be a four door car. <--------------------------HUGE,<br />
<br />
2:16 am Two female passengers in black, one carrying a bag, exit white vehicle and get into another car parked on the sidewalk. White car pulls away <------------------THIS COULD BE.<br />
<br />
No updates?!? C'mon guys!<br />
<br />
3:08 am Can't get a hold of a lot of seniors ... are they conspiring? Sleeping to prep for flunk day awesomeness?<br />
<br />
3:32 am The campus is eerily quiet.<br />
<br />
3:45 am - Asked a security guard if it was Flunk day and he said, "Between you and me, nope. Not today." Could be messing with me but I don't think its Flunk Day. Poop.<br />
<br />
4:10 am - New Video Found on Youtube! Official Flunk Day Song 2012! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpOwiz_Uj18&context=C42f3887ADvjVQa1PpcFMW2EZLo604zdtchMfNdtl7KxfKHWXvudw= <------------ CONFIRMED <------ this could be HUGE!!!!!! <------- ITS TODAY FOR SURE!<br />
<br />
4:50 am - Caf is open super early... interesting.<br />
<br />
Friars seen gathering <--- That's vague and unhelpful. Where?<br />
<br />
5:50 AM weak scare followed by a flunk fail. it's going to be a long day...<---confirmed.<br />
<br />
<br />
Jil Gates, you should probably expect an angry mob of drunk seniors after senior meeting outside your apartment tonight. <-- And everyone else. <-- oh c'mon you guys!! like they knew everyone would put all their hope into today being flunk day. they planned it months ago. it is no one's fault. just part of the hype. part of the flunk. this is what we have been waiting for ALL YEAR. so deal. quite your whinning please and spanks you. <-- normal hype is fine, but this year the hype became too intense too quickly for the actual day to be this late. instead of being excited and anticipating the day, people are just angry and disappointed when it isn't.<br />
<br />
It looks like this Flunk Day<br />
*Puts on sunglasses*<br />
Failed the test<br />
<br />
Even Gilbert thought it should have been today. This year is insane.<br />
<br />
11:52 am Why the fuck is it not Flunk Day?? #anticlimactic #tiredasfuck<br />
<br />
== <br />
'''APRIL 25: THE NIGHT BEFORE FLUNK DAY''' ==<br />
<br />
<br />
‘Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox<br />
Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox.<br />
The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care,<br />
In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.<br />
<br />
The friars were nestled all snug in their beds,<br />
While visions of mud pits danced in their heads.<br />
And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash,<br />
Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.<br />
<br />
When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter,<br />
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.<br />
Away to the window I flew in a flash,<br />
Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”<br />
<br />
The sun on the top of newly-made mud<br />
Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds.<br />
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,<br />
But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!<br />
<br />
With a check of my inbox, to see what they say,<br />
I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day!<br />
More rapid than eagles, the friars they came,<br />
They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:<br />
<br />
“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name!<br />
Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame!<br />
To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main!<br />
Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”<br />
<br />
So much effort given there that it has to be Flunk Day<br />
<br />
Since we're going with poetry...<br />
<br />
'''Stopping By Campus on a Flunkin' Evening'''<br />
<br />
Which campus flunks, I think I know.<br />
The clues might be in Galesburg though;<br />
we'd miss the signs, at any rate,<br />
if only Knox is where we go.<br />
<br />
My roommate thinks it really great<br />
to stop his work and stay up late.<br />
Between the drinks I wonder why<br />
the darkened campus lies in wait.<br />
<br />
I give my email one more try<br />
to see if there is some reply.<br />
The only other message stunk:<br />
"It might be Friday." What a lie.<br />
<br />
All Knox is ready, pumped and drunk.<br />
But we have rumors to debunk,<br />
and hours to go before we flunk,<br />
and hours to go before we flunk.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
== April 26th #nope ==<br />
<br />
Are the softball games real? I don't see them on Robert Morris's schedule... http://www.robertmorris.edu/athletics/womenssoftball/schedule/<br />
<br />
The previous link is to the schedule for Robert Morris's Chicago campus' team...This is to the Springfield campus confirming the softball games...http://www.robertmorris.edu/athletics/womenssoftball/springfield/schedule/<br />
<br />
Creepily overheard Kaitlyn making an appointment with Helmut for Thursday whilst in line at the Oak Room. Unless this is a red herring, could it mean Flunk Day won't be this day? <--- isn't she the senate dinning chair?<br />
<br />
I liked "The Night Before Flunk Day" so much that I saved it just in case it got taken off the Wikifire. Whoever wrote it rocks.<br />
<br />
Math homework due date moved from Thursday to Friday. Obviously this is not, as our professor claims, so that he has time to teach us the Laplace Transform, but rather because it is Flunk Day tomorrow.<br />
<br />
12:22 pm Flunk day will not be today, we got pre-enrollment continuing, a home softball double header, the English department award thing, and Bruce Polay is at the Orpheum tonight. Looks like it will be Friday!<--the next English awards aren't announced until May 7th, the Howard Wilson things is just a call for submissions. If an event is at the Orpheum, flunk wouldn't mess it up! <--- Confirmed! Flunk waits for no human!<--Bruce & Friends is on Friday...and he told us today in class that we'd have to go whether it's Flunk Day or not. <--- regardless, this will still not be flunk day, senior day for the softball team I'm pretty sure and I would sure hope that they wouldn't do that to the Seniors. <- no offense but I doubt senior softball day has any bearing on whether or not it's flunk day (I don't think it is though) <- confirmed <--- Ok, if they do that to the softball players I am personally going to rebel and not drink on flunk day, that's right. If you're not at an athlete you have no clue what it means to play one of your last home games. I'm not sure if the AD (Chad Eisele) has any say at all, but I'm sure he would do whatever he could to make it so that a team would not have to play their Senior day games on Flunk day. It is disrespectful to the Seniors, the team as a whole, the coaches, the manager(s) and the athletic trainers and staff. <--- no offense or anything but we are a D-3 school. I doubt they plan flunk day around a game that is maybe planned 6 month in advance, maybe. <---they would. '''flunk day dates were picked in february. that softball game was scheduled at the beginning of the year (September).''" that game is important to the seniors bro. it is their last home game EVER. <br />
<br />
Has the food shipment really come in? I don't think anyone real knows or can someone prove it has?<br />
<br />
1:35 pm Professor Du cancels Friday class. She claims she is taking her other class on a field trip to Chicago, but clearly she just doesn't want to deal with students who have post-Flunk Day hangovers. <---CONFIRMED! Though I'm in that class going to Chicago...in fact I'm driving... <-- She's my advisor and actually is going on that field trip<br />
<br />
No Flunk day yet = cruel and unusual punishment <--- Flunk day occurs more often in May than it does in April<br />
<br />
5:59 PM not going to happen. just calling it now.<br />
<br />
6:10 PM Interviewing Helmut for a newspaper article at 2PM tomorrow. Pretty sure he wouldn't have scheduled that if it were Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
10:56 PM Just heard the ghost of Abraham Lincoln proclaim in the hallways of lower post that today will be flunk day! <-- CONFIRMED! Ghost Lincoln has proclaimed it!<br />
<br />
Hey flunk planners: http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0yi0vxTQ01qkgyzto1_500.png <br />
<br />
For the record: -- from students that work closely with president Amott's office -- Teresa has never said she hates Flunk Day. We don't know where that rumor comes from, but it's BS. Of course it stresses her out, her first Flunk, but that's all. Furthermore she has little to do with when Flunk Day is and will not demand it to be after her installation. She has expressed at a faculty meeting (with many student witnesses) that she is not particularly fond of all the fuss around her installation. So that should not be used as an argument. However, the events planned for after her installation are much more an indication of Flunk Day not happening that week... That being said... FLUNK ON COWBOYS! <-YEE-HAW <-CONFIRMED-HAW <-does this leave hope for the 26th??!? <--- I think more so for the 27th, the 30th or the 1st <--- While Amott may be okay with it happening whenever, there is NO way administration will allow that. They know what to expect from Flunk Day... I say it is happening the 26th, 27th, or not until after her installation. < Amott is head of the administration... So yeah I don't think it'll be too shortly before, but she won't care if she is installed yet or not<br />
<br />
Lights are on in the mail room and the doors are closed. <--- Was anyone inside? Did you see movement? <---No. It's too early for them to be stuffing the boxes. Made that mistake two years ago<br />
<br />
Jack Moore is at senior meeting. Getting primed for tomorrow?<br />
<br />
Spain study abroad students had their Flunk Day TODAY!! Will ours be tomorrow?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Flunk Day: a Haiku<br />
<br />
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck<br />
<br />
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck<br />
<br />
please be tomorrow<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<br />
Caf ladies seen in the caf. What could they be doing at 12:02AM? It must be the final flunk. <---I WANT PROOF. PICS OR DIDN'T HAPPEN <---Smells like a lie <---Smells like flunk spirit <--- Or they ran out of something in the gizmo and needed to go to the caf fridges/freezers to get it. <br />
<br />
So everybody is giving up? Come on!!! It could be the day! Campus safety is driving around more than usual- I've seen them 3 times since I left my dorm an hour ago. They see me rollin', they hatin'...tryna catch me flunkin dirty.<br />
<br />
1:18 am- people heard running around near williston/ fiji yelling FLUNNNKKKK DAAYYYYY<br />
<br />
1:28am: Heard rumors that Flunk Day's not going to be until May. =\<br />
<br />
5:49 am: All quiet. Time to finish studying for that exam. . .<br />
<br />
== <br />
==<br />
'''Flunk Day Sonnet CLXXV'''<br />
<br />
The WikiFire is moving at a trickle,<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day Twitter is updating slow,<br />
<br />
Anticipation has paralyzed, crippled,<br />
<br />
Flunk Day, please come tomorrow.<br />
<br />
The Mud Pit has been dug and watered,<br />
<br />
No matter what Knox says it endorses.<br />
<br />
Many mornings our hopes have been slaughtered,<br />
<br />
For we believe the Wiki’s uncited sources.<br />
<br />
We wait, in anticipatory stupor, deprived of power,<br />
<br />
Knowledgeless, hands tied in games of Planners,<br />
<br />
For clues we scour, in dorm rooms cower,<br />
<br />
As Friars conspire to make drunken clamor. <br />
<br />
Waiting for the Final Flunk’s foot to drop,<br />
<br />
Into the Mud Pit’s glittery slop.<br />
<br />
==<br />
<br />
== April 27th ==<br />
If FlunkFood was delivered Monday, April 16th, this would be the last day to serve fresh food. <--- since when does the caf serve us fresh food? <--- Helmut does a very good job with the resources that he has<br />
<br />
Last year Lincoln Fest was Friday and Saturday. This year it's only Saturday. Why did they not plan for another two-day event? the did!! A Friday Flunk Day with a super awesome musical group is kicking off the weekend festivities!<br />
<br />
I know Flunk Day is never on a Friday.. but we have had two emails from Jill about it being on a Friday..<--obviously she is trolling. <--- How do you know? Xavier used to do the same thing.<br />
---False! Tony Gant retold tales of the single Friday Flunk he's experienced. Apparently students looked just as awful on Monday as the usual post-flunk day. But it HAS happened. <-- Please, God, no... Let it not be on this Friday. Not this one.<br />
<br />
this is my guess. I doubt they'd do Monday or Tuesday (even if they have "enough days" to clean up before Teresa's thing)... if not it will be like the last week of term. gross.<br />
<br />
It is called 'The Final Flunk' for a reason right?... Final chance to make it a Friday, Final as in right before final exams, just final... <--- THE PERFECT PLAN. Make it on a Friday, prove that we will all just get fucked up all weekend, cancel flunk forever when the school is destroyed. THIS COULD BE HUGE(LY DISAPPOINTING).<br />
<br />
== April 30th ==<br />
HAS TO BE FLUNK DAY. <br />
<br />
If flunk day is this week it would be Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. There's a home baseball game on Monday (today) so that makes it unlikely (it is confirmed on Eureka's schedule) Tuesday looks pretty promising with not very many events on the calendar, and Wednesday there are more home baseball games so, again, unlikely (yes I'm aware coaches don't know when flunk day is and that the schedule is made before flunk day is planned, but the planners know what the athletic schedules are and stay away from having flunk day on the day of a home sporting event, it would likely be a very poor situation for both teams and their coaches) In other words, if Flunk Day is not on Tuesday, it looks like we will have to wait another week.<br />
<br />
Vince Rug, senior, has made this his new prediction.<br />
<br />
Red Room interviews are on the 30th. I mean, the CTL probably doesn't know when Flunk Day is, but it seems like a somewhat serious event.<---FALSE not a serious event at all, and no way was it scheduled early enough to get on the list. They'd just reschedule. <br />
<br />
Even though there are baseball games, the Eureka head coach is a Knox alum (he graduated in 09?) and he loovveeesss flunk day. He could totally be in on it.<---Confirmed Clarkey is pretty cool.<br />
<br />
The main stage dance show has 4.5 hours worth of tech rehearsal this day and it cannot be cancelled. Better not be Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== May 1st ==<br />
Another conspicuous day of events: Spanish Table, Photo Exhibit, Red Room, and a Family Planning Booth.<br />
The Chicago Knox Club Alumni Relations proclaims May first as Flunk Day<br />
<br />
Well this is probably Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
Dress rehearsal for main stage dance show. Not Flunk Day. <--As someone who's been in a Spring mainstage show, rehearsals have zero effect on Flunk Day. We had to show up my freshman year for rehearsal anyways.<br />
<br />
== May 2nd ==<br />
Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
Guys, this was the date of Flunk Day last year. They wouldn't do it on the exact same day twice in a row... or would they? <----CONFIRMED they would!<br />
<br />
Another dress rehearsal for the dance show? Why yes! Not Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
== May 4th ==<br />
Today is National Hoagie Day, which means it is Flunk Day OBVIOUSLY<br />
<br />
9:00am Jill's email says: "THE SUN WILL BURN LIKE NEVER BEFORE." The weather channel projects this to be in the 80s. Flunk Day? Maybe... <----FALSE. They don't know the weather predictions when they choose the date <-- No, but the email was sent yesterday, wasn't it? <br />
<br />
<br />
A Call To Rise: Dance Ensemble Show happening at 7:30pm. Not Flunk Day. <--- Not true. Flunk Day has been on the same day as a dress rehearsal for a dance show in the past. There were plenty of trash cans available in case someone had to vomit <-- Good point about the show. Perhaps not today!<br />
<br />
== May 5th ==<br />
For the first time in Knox history, Flunk Day will be held on a ''Saturday''. Teresa Amott's installation will begin with the usual speeches and fanfare, when suddenly Zombie Lincoln will parachute in with a ghetto blaster and declare, "THIS TRULY IS . . . THE FINAL FLUNK!" at which he will begin a playlist consisting of every Flunk-themed song remake ever made. The Final Flunk will continue through every day until the end of term. Everyone will get As. Teresa will not only be known as Knox's first lady president, but also Knox's dopest president. <-- CONFIRMED! The DOPEST!<br />
<br />
== May 7th ==<br />
Today will be FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
This is going to be the start of the first week with Teresa as our new president. What better way to celebrate with Flunk Day?? It will be her first Flunk day EVER and her first as the president!<br />
<br />
If Flunk Day is any day this week, it's going to be WAY too late. Everyone will be so flunking drained from getting their hopes up that we'll all just be cranky and tired. <-- CONFIRMED. I'm doing my homework all day if it's this late, yo. <---It's been this late before! Flunk day was on May 8th in 2007, May 7th in 2001 and May 6th in 2009<br />
<br />
My boss (one of the custodial workers) told me that Teresa doesn't want Flunk Day to be before her inauguration. It is a national event and she wants to keep the campus nice. . .<br />
<-- As much as I hope we don't have to wait that long, it makes the most sense. This is a big Knox event. Teresa is only the 19th president in 175 years and the first women to be president of Knox. All eyes will be on the campus and I doubt her and the other up and ups would want the campus looking like it just got hit by a natural disaster before the big day.<br />
<br />
This whole week is installation week; all sorts of things planned to celebrate her installation. Little chance it will be this week <-- do you think these were planned when the date was picked? The website an emails just recently announced what is happening... Wouldn't it be funny if Flunk day Flunks with the presidents events!<br />
<br />
== May 8th ==<br />
What are these fake showcases? Will they wait until Teresa is officially our President to bring the flunk? <---yes! there is too much planning that goes into events like the installation to flunk it up with Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
May 8th is the perfect Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== May 9th ==<br />
Once again, only meditation..is it too late for flunk? <---It is never too late for FLUNK. When will you people learn. Goddamn it!!! There is no hope for this world if you can't wrap your infant like brain around this!<br />
<br />
Arnold Salgado wishes for this day to be flunk day! => so too does one Johnathan Powers! or it is at least his speculation of the final flunk...<br />
<br />
== May 10th ==<br />
Another "showcase" or flunk?? <--Showcase CANCELED! THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<--COnfirmed. Does the obvious "CANCELLED" label instead of removal mean something?<br />
<br />
Playwright's Workshop was added to the calendar, but if they waited that long to send it in, it won't FLUNKing matter!<br />
<br />
== December 21 == <br />
<br />
Let's be real guys...the Final Flunk is going to coincide with the actual apocalypse. PREPARE YOURSELVES<br />
<br />
NOT!!!</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2012&diff=24572Flunk Day 20122012-04-25T02:13:36Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 25th */</p>
<hr />
<div>Fuck that picture, I want see the table of contents. It can be found below.<br />
---->Approved.<br />
<br />
<br />
== '''Preparing Yourself for the Final Flunk''' ==<br />
[[File:flunkitup.jpg]] [[File:Screen shot.png]]<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Any good Flunk Day celebration is well-prepared. Keep these tips in mind when you work yourself up watching for suspicious food trucks and random carnival rides!<br />
<br />
1. Go buy your booze now. The worst thing that could happen is to be caught off guard with nothing to set your morning off right!<br />
<br />
2. Check the Wiki Fire often. Post the conspicuous looking shit you see around campus/town and don't be a dick.<br />
<br />
3. E-mail, bother, and/or harass the known Flunk Day planners/accomplices: Jil Gates, Deb Southern, Jack Moore, Regina Rosenbrock, Kaitlyn Duling. Watch Jack at all hours of the day. He is the Lord of the Flunk. See where he goes, write it down here!<br />
<br />
4. Dig the damn mudpit already! <--as a former Conger/Neal resident, I can tell you it will take MUCH longer and be MUCH harder than you think! Have extra shovels hidden in your rooms, because anything left in the suite can be confiscated. Lookouts are a must, have them positioned by West street, on the other side of the Center for Intercultural Life, as well as someone in Neal or Conger 3 for better long-range visibility. Dig a little bit every night because it is seriously SO FUCKING HARD to dig a hole in the ground! <--- also, if campus safety happens to catch you digging, do not run into your building still wearing your muddy shoes because they will follow your muddy footprints and find you in the basement<br />
<br />
Enlist the help of Sigma Chi. DO it.<br />
<br />
5. Don't be fooled by lawn mowing or the quality of the weather. They mow the lawn nearly every other day in the Spring and there have been many not-so-sunny days of Flunk.<br />
<br />
6. If you don't get all the Xavier and Raptor jokes, see the Flunk Day 2009 page[http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2009].<br />
<br />
7. Talk to new people. Share Flunk Day hints, clues, and stories. Sharing is caring, especially in the season of Flunk. <br />
<br />
8. Believe everything you see, hear, and read in this wonderful and mysterious time of year. It's all true. We promise.<br />
<br />
9. Don't be a total scrooge about the scares. It's a natural part of spring term at Knox. I mean, the seniors had to wake up even earlier than you AND run around.<br />
<br />
== '''Is it Flunk Day yet?''' ==<br />
<br />
<br />
We already told you not to bother with the lawn mowers, but what SHOULD you look for in finding clues? Here are some helpful clues!<br />
<br />
'''Admissions'''<br />
Ask an admissions student worker to note days on the calendar where no visits are scheduled. These days are few and far between - and good hints.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Calendar Events'''<br />
For those who check the Events Calender daily (as all Flunk Day enthusiasts should) be sure to notice any changes that occur in the schedule from week to week. This is a tricky way to find clues, but the most committed investigators will double check other schools' sports schedules and compare them with ours, call to check dates and times, and watch for days with no events listed!<br />
<br />
Note that the calendar is not bound by the honor code; some events may be made up. Additionally, even though a sports event may be scheduled, Flunk Days have occurred when the softball team has had a game, or the golf team has had a tournament.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Helmut and the Cafeteria Staff'''<br />
Watch for him heading into or out of work at odd hours - that has set off the Flunk Day alarm in the past!<br />
<br />
Ask student employees about surprise food shipments.<br />
<br />
And if you happen to be sharing a doobie with a dining services staff member, don't be afraid to take advantage of the situation and just ask. "So, uh, do you know when it is?"<br />
<br />
'''Mailroom'''<br />
<br />
If you see lights on in the Mailroom at an unreasonable hour, it could be the big day. Find a friend who works in the Mailroom and have them keep an eye out for suspicious deliveries or pick-ups!<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Parking Lots, Community Sightings'''<br />
<br />
Get out and procrastinate on all your work by driving around for a few hours a night and check out the local scenery. Notice any large trailer trucks, or carnival rides parked in the WalMart parking lot? Post them here. Pics or GTFO. <br />
<br />
<br />
'''Flunk Day Planners'''<br />
<br />
They're stone walls. If you are best friends, roommates, or just sleeping with one of them, ask questions. Pay attention to body language. Bug the shit out of them. Bring the results to your friends at the WikiFire.<br />
Known Planners: <br />
Jack Moore-tallest man on campus. senior.<br />
Regina Rosenbrock: blonde Kappa. junior.<br />
Kaitlyn Duling: Hot. Dark hair. junior.<br />
<br />
Plus one secret one!!!! Probably a senior, doesn't need to be on Union Board. <--How do we know there's a secret one if it's secret?<br />
<br />
'''Rumors and Scares'''<br />
<br />
We can just come right out and say that last year the underclassmen were assholes. Sorry, but we are NOT sorry, and if you live in Post or the Quads (or the vicinity) you ''will'' be woken up for a scare or two. Don't whine about it, we've all been scared once or twice, too. Wake up, question whether today is that magical day, do a shot or two, and go back to bed if it isn't. <br />
<br />
Believe everything. Live every day like it's Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
'''NOW GET TO HINT HUNTING YOU MOTHER FLUNKERS!!'''<br />
<br />
==Pre-Flunk Hunt 2012==<br />
<br />
Xavier was spotted at several different points this summer by several different anonymous sources. Hopping off a boxcar with several drifters, each holding one of his four-footer (or so) bongs, he was said to have torn his shirt off each time while roaring, "FLUUUUUUUNK!" <br />
<br />
Xavier is clearly behind all this unseasonably warm weather we've been having. Flunk Day will be earlier than ever this year as a result!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
The weeks of April 23-27 and April 30- May 4 are the weeks of pre-enrollment but this does not necessarily mean that flunk day will not be in those two weeks. These weeks are the most common weeks for flunk day historically.<br />
<br />
So, the theme of Flunk Day is The Final Flunk, right. Because the end of the world is supposed to happen in this year of 2012. Wouldn't it be just so clever, then, if this year marked the end of Flunk Day as well? As in, no Flunk Day? As in, the rumors that Flunk Day doesn't exist finally come true? THIS COULD BE HUGE. Also, everyone knows [[Teresa Amott]] DOESN'T LIKE FLUNK DAY! <br />
<br />
At 2:24 on March 28, J-Pow predicted Flunk Day would be May 9. That's economics. <-- Furthermore, the Art Dept. is having their once-a-term field trip to the Art Institute of Chicago. So many students will already be excused from classes. Would this not be perfect timing?<br />
<br />
Cody Dailey is currently finalizing his Flunk Day prediction. This could be HUGE. This actually means next to nothing at all.<br />
<br />
Where is the "official email" for Flunk season? --An email regarding "policies and rules" was sent out on April 18 last year.<br />
<br />
At 11:53 on April 4, the official Flunk Day email is sent out. Obviously Flunk Day is TOMORROW! --> It was a particularly classy Flunk Day e-mail and included pictures and bullet points. Maybe they think if they illustrate Flunk Day they can convince us it already happened? <br />
-----> early flunk day email + summer in march = EARLIEST FLUNK DAY IN HISTORY. <br />
<br />
READ THIS: Admitted Student Days are April 13 and April 20. Flunk day fucks up campus and thus will not happen before all of the precious prospies come to visit. <br />
<br />
Any clue who the planners are this year? <--- Jack Moore, Regina Rosenbrock, Kaitlyn Duling, and a SUPER SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNER! FIND OUT WHO IT IS!!!! <--Totally and completely false<br />
<br />
NOTE: CAF WORKERS SAID THAT FLUNK DAY FOOD PREPARATION IS ON THERE APRIL CALENDAR!!!<br />
<br />
==April 5th ==<br />
<br />
Flunk day shirts are here. Union Board is selling them AFTER Flunk Day because Flunk Day is tomorrow!<br />
<br />
Jack Moore seen being really tall <---THIS COULD BE HUGE! <---Rumor: Jack Moore is "huge." <---MMhmm. CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
Debbie Southern heard chatting with Jil Gates before Flunk Day email was sent out about how it would "catch them off guard."<br />
<br />
Spotted: JPow walking across the gizmo patio saying how he's "ready for flunk day".<br />
<br />
It isn't even April 5th yet guys... <---FLUNK DAY HAS NO BOUNDARIES, rookie mistake. Wait, so you can see into the future?<br />
<br />
Today is Wednesday, but it's almost over, which means it's almost Thursday. Therefore, it's almost Friday. So Flunk Day will be tomorrow.<br />
<br />
looks like he's taking a break from hunting vampires... ABE IS IN THE HOUSE!!! <--- This could be HUGE!! can someone confirm?! <---I have visual confirmation!! <--- Pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
== April 6th == <br />
Students saw a clown in a car, driving through Illinois. Obviously, Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8th ==<br />
11:54pm seniors are seen leaving Hamblin, exclaiming "we need to get our stash PRONTO!"<br />
<br />
== April 9th ==<br />
Two people seen digging in the mud pitt!!! Somebody please confirm this!!! <---CONFIRMED. Ladies and gents, start your flunk engines. VROOM VROOM<br />
<br />
== April 10th == <br />
There's a baseball game on the schedule for 6:30 PM. Our field doesn't have lights. Interesting.<br />
<br />
The game is at Galesburg High School, they have lights CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
All this talk of people digging the mud pit is false. Get on that, quads.<br />
<br />
Planners seen entering Old Main and exiting one hour later...Flunk?! <----you waited them out?<br />
<br />
Just heard Regina and Kaitlyn planning a booze run- flunky flunk tomorrow, definitely. <--False. Junior planners can't drink on Flunk Day<br />
<br />
7:56 PM -- Helmut was hanging around the caf a little late tonight...just spotted him leaving!<br />
<br />
Rumors are running around that tomorrow could be the big day...could it be? A flunk day this early? Remember, the Safety e-mail hasn't gone out yet. But you'd <br />
better get your stashes ready...<br />
<br />
<br />
COME ON CONGER/NEAL! GET GOING ON THAT MUDPIT!<br />
<br />
Helmut is back on campus!!! The Mudpit has to happen! <-- 8:55 p.m. <---pics or it didn't happen<br />
<br />
Obama tells the tale of the flunk >>> http://i.imgur.com/NFcyC.jpg<br />
<br />
9:21p.m. observed Kathleen Drake and Jill Gates on the corner of West and South St. Both looked tired. one yelled, "See you in a few hours!" Get your Flunk On!!! <---They probably were leaving R.A. class is SMC.<br />
<br />
9:38 p.m. overheard one of the library workers: "No, don't worry about it, we can do it tomorrow. Wait no...I'll do it on Thursday *laughs*"<br />
<br />
9:49 PM: Regina Rosenbrock says tomorrow is Flunk Day, she's not doing her homework but instead kickin' it with her awesome suitemates.<br />
<br />
9:53pm: there has already been an preliminary text from an unknown number sent to a selection of seniors that simply says "I hope you're FINALLY done with all of your homework...we wouldn't want you to FLUNK out of Knox during your last term!"<br />
<br />
Rick Santorum dropped out of the race so he could make it to Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
BREAKING NEWS: Maddie Davis, secret Flunk Day planner?! <-----Evidence?? From Galesburg, knows Knox well, works in the mailroom, lives with Rachel Hautzinger a UB member...NEED I SAY MORE?!<br />
<br />
Any updates on the MUDPIT!? <---- the mud pit is dryer than a desert <-- Still no mudpit at 11:00pm <br />
<br />
Carrie and Rachel spotted digging the mudpit with red solo cups in their hands! <---Can you confirm?? <---Carrie didn't even help with the mudpit last year and she lived in Neal. Tomorrow MUST be Flunk day <---False, she watched for campus safety and screamed obscenities out the window.<br />
<br />
<br />
11:08 PM Maddie Davis is hammered right now <---- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<----- THIS COULD BE ANY DAY OF THE WEEK! <---God damnit.<br />
<br />
11:11pm Kaitlyn Duling spotted leaving her house headed towards campus. Dressed too nice for it to be Flunk Day tomorrow. <-----Kaitlyn always dresses pretty nice, to be fair. <--- I was wearing a suit earlier tonight, does that mean no flunk tomorrow? I think NO CORRELATION! <-- Confirmed! She was wearing a dress but had a bag, perhaps with extra clothes. These planners will go to all lengths to trick everyone<br />
<br />
11:15pm Papers covering the mail room windows means no evidence for Flunk Day Foolery <---pics? they haven't covered the windows in years past [http://i958.photobucket.com/albums/ae62/zackymichel/MailRoom11pm.jpg]<br />
<br />
11:20pm: back from a Quickie run, and the guy at the counter said he predicts Flunk Day will be a Wednesday this year<br />
<br />
11:35pm JACK MOORE IS NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE <-- CONFIRMED HE MUST BE CATCHING A SNOOZE BEFORE THE BIG DAY<br />
<br />
11:37 p.m. Rachel Hautzinger cannot be contacted <--- SHE IS NOT IN HER APARTMENT! <-- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
11:38 p.m. Participants in the Aerial Dance company classes just received an e-mail saying tomorrow's class has been CANCELLED - there is NO reason to do that!!! - unless it's Flunk Day!!! <--- Can you confirm this? <--Yes, I'm in it, I'm taking the MW class and I just got it. It's from Jen Smith and she organized the thing. <--- CONFIRMED! THIS COULD BE HUGE! <-- Screenshot the email?<br />
<br />
11:45pm Lights on at Jil Gate's apartment <--- CONFIRMED FROM INSIDE <--planners could just be hanging out there trying to trick us <-- she shuts down parties at 10 p.m. ON WEEKENDS, do you really think she'd be up this late on a weeknight just for kicks? <-- she would stay up for the sake of FLUNK!<br />
<br />
11:48 p I SAW SANTA. Isn't he in the carnival? FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
11:55 Mud pit update?<br />
<br />
11:56 Daniel Beers just sent out a revised schedule and tomorrow isn't on it... <--- I received no email. I SEE THROUGH YOUR SENIOR SCHEMING <-- I got an email and I'm in his PS 321! There is indeed no Wednesday on the schedule! <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
REGARDLESS OF IF IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW OR NOT SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET ON THAT MUDPIT! <----- '''CONFIRMED!!!!'''<br />
<br />
== April 11th ==<br />
Proof:[[Media:FlunkDay2012isonApril11th.jpeg]] <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
<br />
Faculty meeting scheduled for April 11th was canceled! <-- CONFIRMED! NO MEETING!<br />
<br />
Helmut seen talking to caf ladies suspiciously during lunch.. could he be scheming for flunk? <-- DINOSAUR CUP, I FILL YOU UP, LET'S HAVE A PARTY. TODAY IS FLUNK DAY.<br />
<br />
Flunk day shirts have arrived. They're gray and will be on sale April 11th for $10 <--- JUST IN TIME FOR FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
This is the second day of the Almost There Fair, which all graduating seniors must attend to get their cap and gown, etc. Thus Flunk Day would not be on this day because that would mess up graduation for a good number of students, who were planning to go buy their stuff on the 11th. No Flunk Day. <---Why not reschedule? An early Flunk is a good flunk. <--- When picking up my gown the guy next to Kathleen Drake complained about what a hassle it is that Knox can't commit to their original schedule and now he has to change his.... FLUNK DAY IS TODAY!<br />
<br />
Underwear dance party in the quads tomorrow <---- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Did a ride-along for my journalism class today. The officer told me he was asked to come in early tomorrow, along with half of the early shift! there is no events in town. unless it's flunk day!<br />
<br />
11:20 PM Saw people walking into the room, but when i got there mailroom doors were covered! Proof? Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhbN0GHsO54&feature=youtu.be<br />
<br />
12:44 AM } Ran into the seniors on a Walmart run - So we stacked up the rest... of the fridge. Ppl it's happening and Seymour is ready! <--Freshman think people care about their stash. Flunk day is obviously tomorrow.[[File:Mystache.png]]<br />
<br />
12:40 AM Saw someone running into exec with a hoodie on, hood up. They looked in a hurry. It was kind of sketchy. Did anyone else see this? <--- CONFIRMED! Saw this sketchy ass person! <---- DOUBLE CONFIRMED! I saw them too! What the flunk?!<br />
<br />
12:55 AM Students at the Quickie witnessed the installation of an ADDITIONAL liquor shelf behind the counter. This is probably to hold the giant shipment of booze they got in today because they know tomorrow is FLUNK DAYY!!! <--- confirmed! I was only there to get a Diet Coke but decided to get another fifth of tequila, just in case!<br />
<br />
Jack Moore is awake after midnight on a week-day.. he's never up and active this late. this could be HUGE<br />
<br />
1:05 AM Jack Moore seen passing Longden with Duling, laughing about something. After seeing the panicked but excited look on my face as I locked the windows, they laughed again and ran off.<br />
<br />
1:11 AM Just spotted a Campus Safety officer patrolling the area by the quads to check the mudpit area. <--- any mudpit action?<br />
<br />
1:15 AM Jack Moore and Kaitlyn Duling seen walking quickly North across campus. After Kaitlyn departs (location unknown) Jack seen sprinting to his car and driving West.<br />
<br />
1:19 Paper removed from mail room windows. Flunk day is totally today! <br />
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-wx6Vd5dfaAk/T4Uh_QoesxI/AAAAAAAAAOw/R0TFAYTwFHY/s533/12+-+1<br />
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-jHb3DayKXzs/T4Uh_e-Zc0I/AAAAAAAAAO8/sXeL5_Haljc/s533/12+-+2<br />
<br />
Are the lights normally on in the caf at night? <--- Can anyone confirm this? <--- confirmed kitchen but not main caf lights are on!<br />
<br />
That Alakazam performer is here tomorrow afternoon - what if his act is part of the flunk schedule?! <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
Breaking news: KONY releasing some of his child soldiers for Flunk Day. KONY 2012!<br />
<br />
1:55AM Watcha guys doin... NOT DIGGING THE MUDPIT, now dig my minions, digggg<br />
<br />
2:07 AM MY FRIEND JUST FORWARDED ME THIS EMAIL!!!<br />
<br />
[[http://i1271.photobucket.com/albums/jj639/flunkfox/Screenshot2012-04-11at20152AM.png]] <--- when is jil gates awake at 2am? NEVER. IT'S FLUNK DAY.<br />
<br />
2:10 AM Sketchy car hovering outside seymour dock and then circling campus. Also, gizmo/caf workers leaving kitchen. Closing up gizmo, or prepping for Flunk day?<br />
<br />
Half-assed scare at 6 AM. Today is not Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
== April 12th ==<br />
<br />
Stephanie Meyer author of Twilight is supposed to be in town signing books. Flunkpocalypse coincidence? I think not! <--- where is she signing books at?<br />
<br />
12:06 AM - Mudpit ain't happening. Someone should poop on Conger/Neal!!! Neal 3 or Conger 1, especially. <--- Stop (being a dick) singling out suites in Neal and Conger, it is ALL of Conger and Neal's responsibility to dig the mud pit<br />
<br />
1:56 AM - Regina answers a text message. WHY IS SHE AWAKE???? Answer: Vodka. Analysis: Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
9:45 AM - Trucks innocently delivering food to Cafe; however, food today sucked. Anaylsis : Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== April 13th ==<br />
Could the flunkopalypse be coming on Friday the 13th?!?! Prospies are supposed to be here but it could just be the most bad ass open house of all time. They won't Flunk on a Friday <br />
<br />
Student workers in admissions have reportedly still not received their work schedules for the open house today. Could admissions be in on the hoax? <-- Tour guides still don't have their schedules for Friday. Is this normal?<br />
<br />
The 13th and the 20th are listed as admitted students days, but the calendar is suspicious. If you click on the 13th, it sends you to a page to "register" to come to campus, but only has the 20th listed as an option. (http://www.knox.edu/prebuilt/forms/admittedstudentdays2.asp) Conversely, on the 20th, there is nothing indicating you have to register. They haven't had Flunk Day on Friday before, but maybe Friday the 13th is too good to pass up? <-- False. Flunk Day HAS been on a Friday before. Friday the 13th Flunkpocalypse...Could it get any better than that?<br />
<br />
^There is most certainly an admitted students day on the 13th. I have a friend from home who is checking out Knox that day. No way would the campus be Flunked up for parents of admitted students.<br />
<br />
== April 15th ==<br />
<br />
Holy crap! Suspicious caf activity! Helmut is there cooking and none of the students were allowed to do food preparation! <---Can we get confirmation of Helmut's car on campus? <- Fishy caf activity confirmed, cannot confirm on Helmut's car.<br />
<br />
Helmut or no Helmut, the Paul Greenberg "Four Fish" lecture is tomorrow. Seems like way too big of name and event to coincide with Flunk Day...? <--- My professor was pretty pissed that they don't even know when Flunk Day is and that they had to "submit" dates back in winter term to "not hold Flunk day"... I am guessing Greenberg wasn't finalized by then... OR is this a cover up event.. I heard they did those before! <---Dear freshman, you are correct, but this is Paul Greenberg. The amount of work put in to get him here was astronomical. Flunk Day is tomorrow...but it is not tomorrow. <-- Ever heard of misdirection? Paul Greenberg will be here Wednesday.<br />
<br />
Spotted: Kaitlyn and Regina scurrying towards campus <- Confirmed! away from Tompkins, where Jil Gates AND Jack live. Flunk day tomorrow????<br />
<br />
Can we get an update on the mud pit??<br />
<br />
I don't think Greenberg is really coming to campus- Jil Gates and Cindy could not give details of his talk meaning they never saw a contract- every club leader knows those 2 review every contract on campus. Flunk Day is tomorrow!!!!<br />
<br />
http://www.fourfish.org/speaking.html <--- He doesn't have another speaking event for a week. He could easily be rescheduled for Tuesday or Wednesday and stay in a hotel until then. <--- why is the time on the website still TBD?? It's tomorrow, shouldn't that be specified? <-------It says 5pm on Knox's events calendar. <-- They never put false information on the events calendar.<---You're a freshman<br />
<br />
Lights on in the caf! Flunk Day is tomorrow! <--- can you confirm? this could be HUGE <-- PICTURES?? <---- PICTURES OR GTFO. <--see the Flunk Day twitter. Pics are up, but I would like to note that the caf's lights are never ALL the way out. They always keep a few on. So this may NOT be huge. <-- Are these the lights that are normally on, though? <-- don't you think this is a fairly valid prank for the planners to pull on us? <br />
<br />
Saw Jil Gates get out of a car, grab something fairly large from the driver's window and race into her apartment. Flunk day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
ATTN CONGER/NEAL: please use all of this shitty, rainy weather to make some headway on the flunkin' mud pit!<br />
<br />
== April 16th ==<br />
<br />
1:53 a.m. I was supposed to be emailed by Sunday night if my boss needed me to come into work on Monday...and yet I have received no such email. Flunk?<br />
<br />
1:56 a.m. This page is not nearly as active as it should be. No Flunk. <-- or is it so obviously inactive that YES Flunk?!?<br />
<br />
2:04 a.m. Some interesting photos posted to the Flunk Day Twitter account... https://twitter.com/#!/FlunkDay<br />
<br />
3:28 a.m. No activity on this page or on the Flunk Day Twitter in over an hour. Suspicions quelled.<br />
<br />
4:00 a.m. Mailroom lights and bookstore lights still on, as well as mail room windows covered. Kitchen lights in caf and oak room kitchen are on. Mudpit is fresh and muddy WITH fresh mudtracks from shoes. THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
4:45 a.m. SPOTTED campus safety in the caf talking to one of the seymour maintenance guys.<br />
<br />
5:45 am. Scare or Flunk?<br />
<br />
<br />
Campus Grounds workers are mowing the lawns!!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
Spotted in Old Main, Monday morning 8:30 - Helmut and a bunch of other people at Dean Southern's office, meeting. <---who was the "bunch" of people? <--- Couldn't see it properly. Helmut was blocking the ways.<br />
<br />
Conger/Neal get digging on the Mudpit! Use your hands like spades, if you have too.<br />
<br />
OVERHEARD: Kyle Szuta in the computer center "looking forward to Tuesday at home". Random vacation day, or flunk day miracle?<br />
<br />
Quickie owner asked if I was ready for flunk day. IT MUST BE TOMORROW!<br />
<br />
72 degrees and sunny tomorrow? PERFECT<br />
<br />
On Monday afternoon, the Chicago Knox Club sent an invite to alumni for "Flunk Day -- Whenever that is! 4:00 to 8:00 p.m." at Moonshine in Wicker Park. "Whenever" must be thinly-veiled code for tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Sue Hulett sent out a Flunk Day contingency email to at least one of her classes this afternoon. <----screen shot or it didn't happen <--- here's the text, in Sue's signature haphazard style and random capitalization: <br />
<br />
"IF FLUNK Day is Tuesday the 17th-- THEN Quiz on Thursday the 19th and whole schedule moves down one day.<br />
<br />
IF FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY the 16th be ready for QUIZ on Tuesday the 17th -- Class will start at 11am & I will lecture for 50 minutes and then give you the quiz.<br />
<br />
Ideas on General Systems Theory (GST) paper which is due on 4/24 at this point. If FD is Monday the 23rd. CLASS on the 24th will be from 10:40-11:40 and PAPER DUE BY 9am on the 25th. Cheers, Sue" <--- there is also a cat cartoon but I chose not to include that. <-- Why.<br />
<br />
<br />
Mixed up my weeks and went in to see Teresa Amott, but her secretary said she was traveling. Butttt I saw a light on in her office and heard movement in there. Flunk Day? haha butt < IT COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
Mysterious special Flunk Day opportunity to be presented at Union Board meeting.<---Is this the 'mystery flunk day performance' event on facebook?? <-- Would they really post this the day before Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
5:25pm. Two helicopters seen flying over the Quads. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
6:17 pm Senate dining services meeting canceled for tonight....committee leader is a planner...THIS COULD BE HUGE<---CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
6:20 pm. No cookies in the caf tonight. There are ALWAYS cookies. Flunk day is tomorrow. <--- Any confirmation? Sadly, this could be HUUUUGE! <--- Actually, whenever they have the panellet sweet potato bar things, there are no cookies (source--I've worked in the bakery).<----nobody actually likes teh sweet potato bars- saving the good stuff for tomorrow?! <br />
<br />
Kaitlyn and Regina seen at Walmart stocking up on supplies for the big day. Flunk is upon us. <-- Junior planners can't drink on Flunk Day. They have to drive the gators and be sober. They're messing with us.<--- CONFIRMED. They're flunking with us. <---Who says the supplies were alcohol? You can't see what they're buying in the picture. Maybe it's other stuff for the flunk <-- the picture circulating is for sure from the alcohol aisle in walmart<-- no it's not, you can see flowers in a cooler which means it's the front aisle by the produce. BOOM. <-- Produce is essential for Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
7:01 PM - the Knox-Monmouth baseball game was rescheduled from Saturday to the 17th, but the 17th is Scots Day at Monmouth - their version of Flunk Day! Would they really agree to schedule a baseball game on the day of their own spring carnival?<----the game is not on their schedule. The schedule states they will play at Knox on the 21st <--- CONFIRMED! Monmouth has no games scheduled tomorrow!<--- The Monmouth game is a rescheduled game from the previous weekend. If people paid attention to the sports teams, maybe they would know this shit<----CONFIRMED, care more people...Also, it is encouraged to treat tomorrow as flunk day and come drunkenly support your student athletes --Monmouth is still scheduled to play tomorrow. <---CONFIRMED <-- They are playing even though it is their carnival? Seems fishy.<---It's a conference game, it needs to be played and weekends are booked. <-- it would have been scheduled after Flunk Day was finalized, so it may just conflict. <---Monmouth player has confirmed that in fact they are being forced to play on Scots Day.<--- I think we can all agree that baseball/softball means nothing to the campus excepting relevant parents and teammates; Meaning, el dia de flunk could be tomorrow.<--- Confirmed!<br />
<br />
7:45pm - seven very different Knox seniors spotted at Hyvee Wine and Spirits stocking up on all things Flunk <-- CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
They haven't mowed in a few days. Waiting until after Flunk Day to fix the lawn for the prospies? <---It's definitely Flunk day tomorrow!<---for sures -- They mowed the lawn today<---in prep for flunk? <br />
<br />
9:19pm - John Schlaf spotted at the Campus Safety office?!?! <---uh he works there? <-- Does he always work this late?<br />
<br />
Jil Gates picked up four giant boxes from the mail room today.<----------She has a P.O. box off campus for Flunk day.<br />
<br />
9:29pm - I just had an OUT OF BODY experience in which the spirit of Lincoln contacted me HIMSELF to inform me that TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY!<-- Confirmed.<br />
<br />
9:40pm - Just asked Siri if Flunk Day was tomorrow and SHE SAID YESSSSSSSS <br />
<br />
9:40 pm- Regina spotted running in and out of the Union Board office <--- like, several times in a row or over a period of a few hours?<br />
<br />
9:44pm - Kathleen Drake leaves Senate Finance Committee early. Flunk day preparations? THIS COULD BE RIDONKULOUSLY HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
9:44pm- I AM DRINKING A BEER. Flunk day? I think YES!<---THIS KID <-- Which Kid?<br />
<br />
9:45pm- Seniors and Faculty members seen buying their Flunk Day stash at Hy fee Liquor<br />
<br />
9:56pm-Jil Gates blinds are completely shut. Lights are on.<----Always---> After some investigation, JG BF was seen drinking something in the apartment. Definitely Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE IS DIGGING THE MOTHERFLUNKING MUD PIT!!!! It seriously takes forever, so get on that shit, Conger/Neal!!! OR ANYONE WITH A SHOVEL AND THE TINIEST HINT OF FLUNK SPIRIT! <---- don't leave muddy footprints and get caught (i won't name names)!!<br />
<br />
10:09PM - CONGER/NEAL DIG THE MUD PIT. THE WHOLE FUNNESS OF FLUNK DAY DEPENDS ON YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
10:11PM - REGINA SPOTTED PUTTING ON LAST YEAR'S FLUNK DAY SHIRT. IS SHE GETTING FLUNKY? <--CONFIRMED!!<---DOUUUUBLE CONFIRMED!!!<----TRIPLE FUCKIN CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
10:15pm Hamblin RA locks apartment door. <--- this never happens. Tomorrow is Flunk Day.<-------- pics or it didn't happen!<br />
<br />
10:19 Regina spotted leaving her suite with a large backpack! This could be huge! <-- HUGE BACKPACK?<br />
<br />
10:20pm - a group of six(?) random seniors seen inspecting the mud pit and getting dirt? whaaaaat <---That's cause Conger/Neal is slacking and the Seniors have to step up to the plate. C'MON CONGER/NEAL!!! <-- SOMEONE HAD BETTER DIG THIS PIT!<br />
<br />
10:25pm - large group of seniors seen in front of the Stucco apartments (across from the Quickie), home to a notorious group of Flunk enthusiasts. Possible scheme hatchery for tomorrow?<br />
<br />
10:28pm Haley Beeson does not answer her phone. 2 TIMES IN A ROW! FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW <-- 4 times! <-- 12 TIMES!<br />
<br />
11:04 pm Regina and Kaitlyn with milkshakes. Why? And where's Jack Moore?<br />
<br />
11:20 pm Three seniors spotted tending the mud pit with household items. Items identified as tupperware, mop and recycling bin. <br />
<br />
11:21 pm One of the three seniors identified as Julia Shenkar. Entirely impossible. It must be flunk day. <br />
<br />
11:25 p.m. Campus Safety spotted guarding the mud pit. Not entirely relevant to Flunk suspicions, but pretty funny.<br />
<br />
11:35 pm Sigma Chi is on fire. First asteroid of the final flunk? <---confirmed<br />
<br />
11:39pm - Lots of student traffic at the Quickie. All exiting with tall brown bags. Quickie stashes, therefore FLUNK.<br />
<br />
Everybody, get your shit together. When posting on the WikiFire about a day being Flunk Day, you post in the section devoted to that day. All of this should be under April 17th. Stop being idiots. Even my freshman friend understood this. We go to Knox. Use your brain. <-- It doesn't make sense to post things happening at 5PM on the 16th under the 17th. Students at Knox should be able to figure out how to scroll up. <-- dunno, people are posting in both and im confused <----MASS HYSTERIA!? apocolyptic zoombie brain? ARE YOU ALREADY DRUNK?<br />
<br />
11:45pm JUST SENT EMAIL TO JIL GATES....RECEIVED THIS AUTOMATED EMAIL IN RESPONSE <br />
<br />
"Good Day,<br />
<br />
I will be out of the office Tuesday April 17th. I return to campus Wednesday April 18th and will respond to emails when then. <br />
<br />
If you need immediate assistance, please contact campus security at 309.341.7979.<br />
<br />
Thank you. Have a wonderful day and better tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Keep the Joy!!!<br />
<br />
Jil Gates" <---- confirm with a screenshot or it isn't true<br />
<br />
http://tinypic.com/r/121e3ut/5 <----HERE<br />
<br />
12:02 am: Our illicit cat is causing a ruckus. SHE knows it's Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
12:13 Just Spotted at Walmart! Group of seniors leaving with shovels and other flunk day supplies! <br />
<br />
Has anyone seen any actual suspicious activity? Flunk preparations do not necessitate Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
The windows in the mailroom were covered. <--- pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
A girl who graduated last year who works at the Landmark says Roger and Ann Taylor were in for dinner tonight!<br />
<br />
== April 17th ==<br />
12 am-- Trash bags covering the windows in the mail room. WENT NUTS. <br />
<br />
Sherwood Kiraly is not teaching a class today <--- OBVIOUSLY FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
Zumba is cancelled for tomorrow. Clearly it will be Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
this would be the perfect day to have flunk day!!! just enough time to get cleaned up before admitted students day on the 20th and have campus looking nice for installation week.<br />
<br />
Henry, caf worker, claims the food order will arrive on the 16th. They wouldn't want the food to spoil, would they? <---Has the food shipment arrived? <-- Can anyone confirm? This could be HUGE<br />
<br />
Overheard two caf workers saying "Tuesday is going to be awful." Preparations for the delicious breakfast bar already??!!<---You know a freshman wrote this because breakfast is the worst meal of Flunk Day, and never a bar. <---I wish it was a bar<--Helmet is trying to kill us by giving us only orange juice and tiny bagels to soak up the booze.<---I believe they are pronounce BAGels. <br />
<br />
Ryan Stoens seen taking Extra Protein its gotta on this day. <-----CONFIRMED...THIS COULD BE HUGE, He usually lays off the stuff during season so there must be a special occasion...FLUNK?<---- poor guy is an addict.<__ should put that stuff to work on the mud pit! <---rumor has it he may have helped for about 15 minutes last year, hes done his part <- Clearly some baseball guys <----Clearly somebody has a hatred for the baseball team, which I personally do not see. I mean have you guys seen them in those baseball pants?? Clearly going to be FLUNK<-- bunch of freshman nicknames clearly dont know crap about what theyre talkinabout!! <---Damn freshmen baseball players, Make a play sparrow...pussy <---- Who is Ryan Stoens? Quit talking about randos. This isn't the Baseball Wiki-Its the Flunk Day wiki Losers.<---Shut up Lahti, give us Hoff back <----CONFIRMED...we miss him...also good creative name<-- AGREED/ Double CONFIRMED THIS IS BIIIIIIG!!! <----------------- LOL! oops. well shit. also he has not been with me all day and you can have him anytime you want. besides the point.<-- We shall take him THAN! <-- he is all yours!<br />
<br />
Seniors seen stocking up at Wal-Mart on bottles, glitter and ALCOHOL!!! It is not too early for Flunk Day!!! IT IS TOMORROW. <------Confirmed. Saw them 2. But where's this mudpit?? <----- AGREED. DIG THE GOD DAMN MUDPIT<---Also agreed. Stupid ass people and their lack of digging. Show a little respect for classic video games. (yes, clutch Dig Dug reference)<------------Knox folks spotted at Hy-Vee Liquor. Stocking up for some flunkage? <---CONFIRMED!!<-- heard there is a mulcher on its way mudpit is about TO BE DOMINATED!!!!!<---If by mulcher you mean Kelly Ricketts, then yes the mud pit is about to be dominated. <br />
<br />
Overheard Coach Eisele, a.k.a. the Athletic Director, saying that there was no way that the students would expect Flunk Day tomorrow because of the "rescheduled" baseball game. Was also told that later on in the day he laughed maniacally and twirled an imaginary mustache.<----Mustache CONFIRMED!!<br />
<br />
Lukas Shaw "if it is flunk day tomorrow, words will not even begin to describe my rage" Its gotta be flunk day tomorrow just to piss him off! THIS IS BIG! HE IS BIG!<------ CONFIRMED! HAVE YOU SEEN THAT GUY? HE'S HUGE!!<br />
<br />
The only real thing on the calendar is a flute recital. The Flunk will definitely not be put on hold for a flute recital.<br />
<br />
Matt Barry seen walking around with an empty red gasoline can full of dollar bills and change and ordering extra hot hamburgers? TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY!<br />
W1<br />
Anna Casey seen sending text messages with her brain. Calling together her android friar army, perhaps? Guys, this is it.<------- Confirmed. Anna Casey is a boss I've see her move boulders and betas with her wit. <br />
<br />
SNU brothers are mixing dark chocolate sizzurp on their porch. The Wonka theme was last year, bros.<br />
<br />
A GIANT black cat jumped through the window <--- IT WAS HUGE<br />
<br />
Just had two seniors abruptly sign off facebook chat on me. Either i'm a total loser or there's flunk in the air... <--- Confirmed, seniors are acting strange and disappearing. Very suspicious. <--- CONFIRMED!!! 1:51 AM - same here! my roommate is a senior.. not back in the room, he abruptly left earlier.<br />
<br />
2:00 AM Jonothan Bass is going to Mcdonald's < ---- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Here's some conspiracy for you all. The date -> 4/17/12 -> 4+17=21 -> 21/12 -> 12/21 is the day the world is supposed to end. Think about it.<br />
<br />
2:30 AM Tomorrow is flunk day, therefore today cannot be the big day.<br />
<br />
2:40 AM WHERE ARE THE SENIORS PEOPLE <---- planning a scare <---- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
3:41 AM any activity around mailroom or caf?<br />
<br />
6:03 AM: Girls with pans outside Williston! But no email yet, and there probably won't be. Still pretty great.<br />
<br />
6:10 AM: FLUNK DAY'S TOMORROW!<br />
<br />
MOST LEGIT SCARE EVER. Good job guys. I was checkin my email. <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
6:30 AM: Drum circle of seniors in the quads. Poor guys, I think they thought it was Flunk Day ;)<br />
<br />
I hope that scare knocked some sense in to Conger-Neal. GROW SOME BALLS AND WORK ON THE DAMN MUDPIT TONIGHT! Sincerely, a concerned senior. <--- CONFIRMED. Some scarers made sure to throw what mud was there at Conger-Neal. Make it happen!<br />
<br />
==April 18th ==<br />
<br />
Jillian Staley is a LIAR! The most IMPORTANT AND FUN thing Conger-Neal residents can do in the season leading up to Flunk Day is to dig the mudpit! You wanted to live there. Take responsibility for your actions!!<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day food shipment is supposedly scheduled to arrive on Monday, which would give Wednesday a high probability of being el dia de flunk.<br />
<br />
Today is most definitely Flunk Day. A townie walking their dog said they heard word of it. Monmouth's (not as good) equivalent of flunk day was the 17th. Think about it. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Maintenance is going HAM on the lawn care. Today's gotta be the day<br />
<br />
Confirmed, the food shipment arrived in Tuesday April 17th. Today is still a possibility <-- Who is confirming this? How do you know it is food for Flunk?<---I will not reveal her/his name but they are a distinguished member of the caf staff. <--- If this is actually true, it's sort of ironic that while we were doing the scare this morning, the Flunk Day feast was being delivered. Too bad no one interrogated the truck driver.<br />
<br />
The wiki has gone silent. Exactly what the planners want. <--- I was just on my way over to start some things..<br />
<br />
Tomorrow does seem pretty unlikely, but perhaps we just aren't digging deep enough for clues! Start hunting y'all!<br />
<br />
Campus safety was definitely out patrolling A LOT today... preparations for tomorrow?<---Not only is Campus Safety out but the baseball team swept Monmouth today, tomorrow must be Flunk<---campus safety circled the mudpit in their mules a few time today <--- RIGHT BECAUSE NOTHING SCREAMS 'IT'S FLUNK DAY' LIKE CAMPUS SAFETY DRIVING IN CIRCLES <--- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
Shut the front door, we beat Monmouth at a sport? IT'S THE APOCALYPSE TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY BEGIN DRINKING NOW! <---Confirmed, they will lose two more times this weekend also<br />
<br />
Call Me Maybe = Best Flunk Day Song Ever <---CONFIRMED, maybe Carley Rae Jepsen will be the performer? <- no, but STILL a better love story than twilight. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
9:03 PM Caf workers seen leaving the caf via the loading dock, isn't that a bit later than they usually leave? <--- No, the last shift ends at 9. <- OMG LOL CAF WORKERS DOING WHAT THEY NORMALLY DO. MUST BE FLUNK DAY. <br />
<br />
9:30 PM A flock of velociraptors is seen circling the campus. <-- VELOCIRAPTORS ARE RELATED TO CHICKENS. ENOUGH SAID. <br />
<br />
9:55 PM ADMITTED STUDENTS DAY IS A LIE! <-- Proof? <-- it isn't a lie, there is an admitted students day. the cake, however, IS a lie. <br />
<br />
ATTN EVERYONE: Wednesday, April 18, is Conan O'Brien's birthday. IT MUST BE FLUNK DAY. TEAM COCO 4 FLUNK! <-- Flunk yeah!<br />
<br />
10:48 PM I just saw Xavier outside of Old Main with a 4-foot bong!! It's tomorrow! <---Confirmed, this could be huge.<br />
<br />
11:25 PM unlikely to have flunk day tomorrow, too many community service activities going on... <-- FALSE. Flunk Day IS community service! <--proof? <br />
<br />
12:10AM Jack Moore seen driving his car and dropping off Vincent Rug at his house near the quads! Vincent Rug= SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNER!= Jack and Vince working of potential Flunk for TOMORROW. . . Or near FUTURE <-hopefully not tomorrow, it's supposed to be ~50-55 degrees and thunderstorm all day. bawk bawk. <br />
<br />
12:19 AM Heard some strange noises from Seymour loading dock. <-THIS ISN'T UNUSUAL. <-BETA <-- CONFIRMED, NOISES WERE FROM BETAS<br />
<br />
12:58 AM Beta? noises continue. that or velociraptors. maybe both. I really don't want to know at this point. hopefully they don't see their shadow or there'll be 4 more weeks of flunk day waiting!<br />
<br />
4:20 am campus safety taking a nap in founders! must be resting up so he can get his flunk on in a couple hours?<br />
<br />
== April 19th ==<br />
<br />
ZERO EVENTS ON THE CALENDAR: [http://imgur.com/lteL6] <--- False: That is the performance of an Honors Project as well as the middle of Greek Week. <--- easiest Greek Week event ever!!!! It MUST be Flunk Day!!!<---It doesn't matter when Greek Week is, Flunk day has no limitations! Flunk Day is April 19th<---This could be HUGE!<---That's what she said. <- CONFIRMED. SHE DID IN FACT SAY THAT. <br />
<br />
20th is admitted student day -- Amott won't want a Flunked up campus for Friday. <----- Campus is pretty good at cleaning up. Other than the mudpit [which is permanently scarred into the quads. That is, IF IT GETS BUILT], there are few remnants of Flunk Day the day after flunk. <-- broken beer bottles, mud everywhere, hungover students, garbage, messed up lawn, vomit, broken walls/windows/toilets, etc... sooo easy to clean up @_@. your logic is not at all sound. <- CONFIRMED. LOGIC NOT SOUND. NO FLUNK DAY UNTIL AFTER ADMITTED STUDENTS DAY<br />
<br />
Jil Gates was reportedly off campus, all day on Tuesday, April 17th. Could she be meeting with Flunk Day services? Be prepared to Flunk!!<br />
<br />
2:30 PM Regina and Kaitlyn spotted in te campus life office. <-maybe because it's their job. derp. ex: OMG LOLZ CAMPUS SAFETY SPOTTED AT CAMPUS SAFETY!!!!! WHATEVER SHALL WE DO??!?? <br />
<br />
5:03 PM: Jil Gates and Kaitlyn were in the Campus Life office with the main office closed- secret Flunk plans in the works.... FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW!!! <- FALSE. <br />
<br />
8:33 PM: Kaitlyn has a meeting at 9. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW. (Or possibly Monday?) <- CONFIRMED, FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY. Or maybe tomorrow... a prospie last week said they thought about coming to the admitted students day on Friday, so I'm pretty sure there legitimately is one. In that case it definitely WON'T be the 19th or 20th<br />
<br />
I work in the kitchen and one of the freezers I usually get food out of was locked today. This freezer is never locked! IT'S FLUNCK DAY FOOD! <- the fact that it's in the *freezer* supports the argument that "flunck" day is next Monday.<br />
<br />
Maintenance worker said he was looking forward to his "F-word" holiday either Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday of next week. It's happening.<br />
<br />
Liz Oatney seen on the Gizmo patio....MUST be flunk day on Monday.<br />
<br />
== April 20th ==<br />
Email sent at 6.21 this morning:<br />
"MYTH: The Final Flunk cannot happen on a Friday<br />
<br />
FACT: The Final Flunk can happen at any time on any day; yet those who predict the final flunk are all in agreement that it has to be a weekday."<br />
<br />
Is Jill Gates trying to throw us off!?! By so obviously hinting that it will be a Friday, will students assume that it is too clear to actually be a Friday? And therefore, making a Friday Final Flunk Extravaganza a MEGA SURPRISE?!<br />
<br />
This also could apply to April 27th.<br />
<br />
This is an admitted students day. There is no way Flunk Day will be today or Thursday. <--- It would be kind of funny for the admitted students to see campus all FLUNKed up, don't you think? Poor tourguides. "On our right you see students vomiting in the mudpit...."<br />
<br />
It's a good thing Flunk Day wasn't today. People would have died.<br />
<br />
== April 23rd ==<br />
<br />
Get your specs on youngins cuz Flunk Day’s a comin! We’ve survived both Admitted Student Days and now it’s time to gear up for el Dia de Flunk. All signs point to THIS WEEK being optimal Flunk territory: we’ve kicked out the prospies and next week is right before Teresa Amott’s big day (don’t wanna flunk up campus right before all the alums get here). SO! It’s time to start seriously scouting for FLUNK DAY CLUES:<br />
<br />
Any suspicious activity around campus, and I mean any! Nothing is too innocuous to avoid notice and the immediate update of the WikiFire.<br />
<br />
Are the seniors acting weird? Keep an eye on those guys; they’ll try to throw you for a loop!<br />
<br />
What’s happening around Seymour Union? Lights on at odd hours, movement in the mailroom, strange comings and goings? REPORT ALL TO THE WIKIFIRE!<br />
<br />
If you have a car, take it for a spin during the wee hours of the morning. A big indicator this year will be the “mystery performance” of incalculable size. The bigger the show, the harder it is to hide! Look signs of impending ROCK.<br />
<br />
FINALLY, never take your eyes of those illustrious Flunk Day Planners! They know all…and they may let something slip. Be vigilant and may the odds be ever in your favor!<br />
<br />
<br />
I work in the kitchen, and my supervisor told me that Flunk Day was going to be this week! <- CONFIRMED <- FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY<br />
<br />
definitely flunk day.<br />
<br />
FLUNK ALL THE THINGS!!!! <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
John Spittell moved a midterm from this week to next week... granted it was supposed to take place on Friday, but still. He KNOWS flunk day will be this week, and Monday is the most probable day for the flunkage. <-CONFIRMED. DEFINITELY FLUNK DAY. <--- Our greek midterm was moved back to the end of the week when it was supposed to be tomorrow too. Our professor told us it was specifically because the huge probability for flunk day being in the next day or two.<br />
<br />
flunkflunkflunkflunkflunkflunk<br />
<br />
Jack Moore and Regina are both in Chicago this weekend on "personal" vacations. Very suspicious <-- not really, because they're both from Chicago. #idiot<---S my D. Freshmen<-- confirmed that Jack went home, but Regina is cozy in her suite. <--Definitely Flunk Day tomorrow. Last year the planners went "out of town" right before flunk day. <--CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Flunk day probably won't be on a Monday- it has been on a Monday for the past two years.<-- THEY'RE STATISTICALLY INDEPENDENT!<br />
<br />
Last year, Flunk Day was the Monday after Senate Finance Committee did next year's club budgets all weekend. Finance Committee is doing budgets this weekend. Flunk?<br />
<br />
Conger/Neal you NEED to dig the mudpit tonight. No excuses. That includes you Abe Eastman. <--- mudpit is dug? <-- have everyone in your suite donate a few bucks and go to Walmart and buy a few bags of topsoil. THIS IS ESSENTIAL. The mudpit will not be successful unless there is extra "mud" added to it. <--- enlist the help of Sigma Chi! They are SUPER helpful. <--- Actually, just enlist the help of Joe Rogers. The rest of them are lazy fucks. <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
According to a trusted source (a professor), Flunk day will be either today or tomorrow. <---Professors are always a trustworthy source of flunk day information <--- Not. <---Professors don't know when flunk day is...except for Jon Wagner, the secret is hidden behind his impenetrable eyelids.<br />
<br />
I work at the Gizmo and Linda thinks it might be Monday! <-- CONFIRMED! Linda knows EVERYTHING <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn is at Red Robin drinking margaritas. Flunk Day must be Monday!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey nerds, the mud pit is bigger than it was last year. Slow your roll. <-- THIS IS HUGE!<br />
<br />
P.S. We know the mudpit is the only good part about flunk day.<br />
<br />
Where are the planners?! Jack? Regina? Kaitlyn? updates people, updates. --> Regina seen walking to the Kappa house at approx. 9 pm<br />
<br />
absolutely ZERO events on the calendar... el dia de flunk? <-- There are 0 events for the next 3 days. Can't rule out Tuesday and Wednesday for this piece of evidence.<br />
<br />
Vince Rug seen filling up water balloons in his kitchen.<--Confirmed.<--He is also a suspected secret flunk day planner.<br />
<br />
Gizmo workers were overheard saying that the Flunk Day food shipment hasn't even arrived yet. <---false. Multiple sources have confirmed the presence of the nutritious flunk day food<br />
<br />
This entire section of the page just vanished from the Wiki Fire for five minutes. Perhaps the planners trying to cover something up? THIS COULD BE HUGE. <----- CONFIRMED!! suspicious for sure<br />
<br />
NOW THERE ARE TWO! <---- CONFIRMED!!! That's double the chances! <-- flunk day is on april 23 for sure <- THIS COULD BE HUGE<---Now there are 23 copies of "April 23rd"...FLUNK DAY!!!!<br />
<br />
ALL THE DATES ARE APRIL 23! Scare or clue?<br />
<br />
ASHLEY IS HOSTING A PROSPECTIVE STUDENT TONIGHT IN THE ADMISSION'S SUITE......SORRY BUT IT CANNOT BE FLUNK DAY! <---Actually prospective students have been here on past flunk days. THE FLUNK IS STILL ON!!!!<----well that would sure suck for the admission's host.....<--Yeah can anyone confirm if this has happened before?<<<<< Ashley and all others hosting prospies were sent an email and text to bring their prospies to the admissions office before "engaging" in FLUNK activities. THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<CONFIRMED<---- Proof? Pics or it didn't happen<br />
<br />
Current moon phase- Waxing Crescent: http://www.calculatorcat.com/moon_phases/phasenow.php TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY <---THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
8:25pm: large rv (tour bus??) seen leaving hyvee parking lot and getting on the freeway toward moline...could it be our mystery performer checkin out the burg before heading to their hotel?? <--- Confirmed! A roadie was seen chasing after the bus shouting "wait for me guys!" He also may or may not have been dressed up as Doctor Doom.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling"casually" stopping by Regina's room. Last minute Flunk planning?<-----pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
Squirrels heard conversing about Flunk Day preparations and training their young about alcohol awareness. Little known fact: Squirrels are sent a memo with the date of Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
8:30pm - Kaitlyn Duling seen purchasing multiple treats in the c-store, including 2 bags of cheese popcorn, trolli gummy worms, ben and jerry's ice cream, altoids, trident gum, and a banana. Flunk treats? I think YES.<-- CONFIRMED. IT LOOKED DELICIOUS. <--- She also had blisters on her feet. Probably from running around planning for tomorrow... <-- Does she need any band-aids?<br />
<br />
8:30pm: silver car pulled over by SMC.. Could this be fulfulling Flunk day prophesy? <---PROPHESY FULFILLED! OUR DESTINY CANNOT BE REVERSED! FLUUUNK DAAAAAY!!!!<br />
<br />
8:50 pm: Helmut seen hurrying into Seymour. <--- The end is near.. <-- Can anyone confirm? Where is his car?<---He drives a red Mazda Miata.<br />
<br />
8:54 pm: Founders is a buzz with Flunk Fever!!<br />
<br />
8:59 pm: "2012" is on FX. Pre-Final Flunk celebration? <---- Inception is on HBO could this be a flunk within a flunk. prepare your totem.<br />
<br />
9:01 pm: ☯ k®♎∆§µ∆w♬ ☯ ︻╦╤─ <br />
<br />
9:03- NONE of the seniors are doing their homework, if Facebook is any indication. FLUNK DAAAY<---that's a symptom of being a senior<br />
<br />
ALOCHOL <--Typo. Must be drunk already. Flunk Day is tomorrow! <--- I MEANT WHAT I SAID. AL-O-CHOL.<br />
<br />
<br />
No admitted students are signed up for visits in Monday. They are a lot on scheduled Wednesday and they are legitimate. <-- FALSE. There are 3 students for Monday, 1 for Tuesday, and 8 for Wednesday. <-- I guess admitted students are going to see inebriated college students, then. <--- FALSE. There are NO ADMITTED STUDENTS LEFT. <-- There are visitors almost every day of the week year-round, whether they are admitted students coming back to audition or meet with professors, or high school juniors getting ahead on their college search. <-- IT IS THE FINAL FLUNK. NO ONE WILL BE LEFT. <---- SO WISEEEEEE<br />
<br />
9:43- The C-store is pretty much out of Coke, but there are tons of cartons of eggs.<br />
<br />
9:47 - IT IS TOMORROW HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--care to share why? <--- CARE TO HAVE FAITH? <---Because the more exclamation points you use, the more likely it becomes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- False. More exclamations points means that there it is most likely someone planning a scare <----- YOURE A SCARE! <--"Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind"-Terry Pratchett<br />
<br />
- Terry Pratchett.<br />
<br />
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
9:58 - BARRED OWL. Two conversing <---- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
10:00pm I can't reveal more details, because it has the potential to get me and my co-workers/bosses in trouble, but there have been some very mysterious goings-on in the Admissions Office.<--- PROOF?!?<br />
<br />
10:01 - Jim Mountjoy left for town. First time in two weeks. FLUNK DAY. <-- A past Greek Oaks person confirmed that the Professors leave Green Oaks for Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
10:11 - Too many exclamation marks on the WikiFire. FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
maybe flunk day is just the end of the world<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling just took her vitamins. Gearing up for the big day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
10:08pm- Suspected friar seen hurrying to her apartment carrying a large bag of alcohol. Friars are getting ready! THE END IS NEAR!<br />
<br />
10:05 PM Andrei Papancea was on the phone with Kaitlyn, hung up and whispered to Amanda G that tomorrow is Flunk Day<br />
<br />
10:13- Emily Young seen eating Pizza Rolls in bed. <--THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED SHE'S STILL EATING THEM!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
10:14 Rob Smith just sent an email attachment with the readings for WEDNESDAY....he usually passes them out in class which would be tomorrow.....THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
Get your shit together Knox, no more stupid posts about people that don't matter. <-- EVERYONE MATTERS TO SOMEONE. <-- How can you be mean to Emily Young??? She's so wonderful!<br />
<br />
<br />
People gettin' mean on the Wikifire. WHY CANT WE JUST ALL GET ALONG?! FOR THE FLUNK?! INTERROBANG?! <- the end is near, sometimes people need to be mean. <-- There's never any excuse for being mean<br />
<br />
" I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy" <---THE POSTER DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE <-CONFIRMED. POSTER GOES TO MONMOUTH.<br />
<br />
I'm sick and don't want to do my homework FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY!<br />
<br />
Lights on in the Union Board office..... <-- Pictures? <-- FEAST YER EYES http://i.imgur.com/vUPcb.jpg<br />
<br />
10:28 Betas seen on the porch, bagging windows and making loud noises... its flunk day tomorrow <--That is just Beta being Beta. Don't panic.<<<<<< Sources show that betas know the night before because one of the betas have family connections to administration and the school. It has happened the past 2 years that the betas party the night before but keep it quiet so they can be drunk rowdy assholes all day.<<<<<<CONFIRMED.<<<<<Cale Dahm, Senior at beta, says "What the flunk is that smell?" [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/eb5yxg.jpg[/IMG]<<<< AND TWO BETAS LIKE IT! THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
10:42 Multiple seniors seen at Walmart stocking up on various supplies<br />
<br />
10:45 Laundry room in Williston almost empty, save for one running dryer. Clean clothes soon to be soiled by the mud pit? <---This could be HUGE!!!!!! Break out your flunk day stash boys and girls, its flunking time!<br />
<br />
10:53 Just finished a 15 page assignment due tomorrow. It's DEFINITELY flunk day. Bring on the shots.<br />
<br />
11:00pm KITCHEN LIGHTS ON:<br />
<br />
-As seen from the outside the caf (note the lights above the buffet -- these aren't usually on) http://i.imgur.com/HwkbV.jpg<br />
-As seen from outside the oak room: http://i.imgur.com/S9DSt.jpg<br />
-As seen from between the doors to the Lincoln Room: http://i.imgur.com/r0YwD.jpg <---CONFIRMED! THEY ARE SO ON! THIS IS HUGE!<br />
<br />
11:00pm STAGE LEFT (on the lawn) http://i.imgur.com/Ycf1i.jpg <--- Holy shit, this picture sucks.<br />
<br />
11:00pm DOORS TO MAIL ROOM STILL OPEN (they are usually closed by now) http://i.imgur.com/bR1x1.jpg <---And the papers are off the windows!!Are they trying to throw us off the scent?<br />
<br />
11:22 PM LIZ WOODYARD AND CHRIS JOHNSON ARE OVER 9000% SURE ITS FLUNK DAY<------FLUNK LIASON TO ALUMNI<---------CONFIRMED <-neither of them are drinking tonight because they think it's flunk day tomorrow. I don't know what further proof anyone needs. <- CONFIRMED. <- DOUBLE CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Remember that glittery red face stuff they had in a box in the gallery? Pre-Flunk gift. They want us sparkly as hell for the big day! <--- false. it was from Galesburg HS's Prom. <-- But why share if it's not in support of Flunk Day festivities?<br />
<br />
11:35pm 2 fratboys just walked by our window and saying they can't wait for flunk day.. are they in the know? That's...I don't even.<br />
<br />
11:30 Kaitlyn Duling updated her timeline photo to a FLUNK DAY PICTURE!<-- CONFIRMED! Is she telling us something or is it tomfoolery? <--- DOUBLE CONFIRMED http://i.imgur.com/Annra.jpg <----CONFIRMEDx3 Kaitlyn loves tomfoolery <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
<br />
11:41 My mom claims that she hasn't gotten any emails. I told her to stop trolling. http://postimage.org/image/sibdm55aj/<br />
<br />
Straight off of Facebook: "Charlotte Garvin and 24 other friends changed their profile pictures." - Definitely Flunk day! <--- who cares she's a sophomore<br />
<br />
Speculating that the seniors are trolling us. This is happening way to early... <--- AGREED! We'll all be horribly let down when it isn't flunk day!<br />
<br />
11:44 The Union Board office lights are still on.. and its a Sunday night.. Flunk Day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
11:47 Conger-Neal kids filling up trashcan with water for mudpit <--Pics? isnt it a little early? <--- It's never too early to start on the mudpit, it should have been done weeks ago!<br />
<br />
At 10:59 pm Gregg Lewis sent an email to his voice student saying he was moving studio class tomorrow to friday. He said he would only move the class for FLUNK DAY. <-- And for the mandatory rehearsals for his out-of-town gig. Gregg doesn't know when Flunk Day is, and if he did, he probably wouldn't even realize he had a studio class scheduled for the same day.<br />
<br />
11:45 pm: Just checked all the campus parking lots (and I mean ALL OF THE PARKINGZ) and there was no sign of Helmut's convertible. <----two years ago he was dropped off and his car was not on campus <--- I searched also. I suspect he was dropped off.<br />
<br />
11:50pm: Kaitlyn Duling: If you can make Flunk Day not tomorrow, I will personally buy you band aids for your feet. I will find the same ones Bieber puts on his fingers. http://www.vulture.com/2010/09/justin_bieber_wears_band_aids.html <----Kaitlyn does love Bieber. Possible mystery flunk performer!? <--- I really hope it's not Bieber, I'd rather jump into shark-infested waters during a feeding frenzy<br />
<br />
12:03 AM: The mail server is down! Clearly a conspiracy to indicate they are preparing the flunk day email...<--CONFIRMED <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <--No one reads Steve Hall's emails. <--CONFIRMED <--- BUT WE DIDN'T GET A WARNING ABOUT SYSTEM MAINTENANCE! HE ALWAYS SENDS THOSE! <--[http://www.knox.edu/offices-and-services/information-technology-services/help-desk-support/news-and-alerts.html Check it out], email migration started at midnight.<br />
<br />
12:27 AM: STOP DELETING THIS DAY<br />
<br />
12:29 AM: XKCD updated and it's about the end of the world. Obviously, tomorrow's Flunk Day: http://xkcd.com/1046/<br />
<br />
12:33 AM: Seniors holding mystery meeting at Cherry Street tonight? Can someone confirm? <--- Confirmed that they're fucking with us! Cherry Street is closed! <---- LOL! Now the Seniors know how much it sucks to fuck with the underclassmen! <br />
<br />
12:35am: Seniors are aware !!! TOMORROW (or today) <b>IS NOT FLUNK DAY!</b> <---- planning a scare DOES NOT mean that they KNOW flunk day is not tomorrow. they don't find out this early <----- They planned a scare last year on the real Flunk Day. That doesn't matter. <br />
<br />
12:43 AM: Gizmo calendar next to the register reads '''FLUNK DAY!''' This is clearly a sign that it's Flunk Day. <--- Pics or it didn't happen. <-- http://imgur.com/55377 Had to take it close because crappy phone camera. This could be HUGE <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
12:49 AM: I'm 12 and what is this? <--- What is this I don't even<br />
<br />
1:06 AM: There's something on the calendar about little kids coming to campus to learn languages. Can anyone confirm if this is real? <-- yes they do it in GDH every Monday<br />
<br />
1:20 AM: 40 seniors were pranked (?) into thinking that they were friars. Phone number is based in North Carolina and the only two people that are from NC are Clarke Cuthbert (no longer going to Knox) and Krista Nordgren, both seniors. <---Can't forget Rachel L.!<br />
<br />
1:57am-Rumor is the friar emails just went out!! Can someone confirm this? <---Server is up, but emails are probably a hoax. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
1:59 am: Silly Bands are on all of Seymour 3A's doors IT IS FUCKING FLUNK DAY<--What's a silly band and what does this mean??? <<-- Pictures, man, PICTURES! We crave sensible evidence! <----- [[File:Photo_on_2012-04-23_at_02.14.jpg]] ON ALL OF 3A's door knobs but not 3B WHYYYY???<br />
<br />
2:26 AM: It's Clint Davis's birthday today! Clearly this is a conspiracy and it has to be Flunk Day in honor of the coolest guy on campus. Happy Birthday Clint!<br />
<br />
2:34 AM: Server is down again.<br />
<br />
2:49am- There seems to be some activity around Tompkins apartments. Doesn't Jil live there? <- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
3:12 AM- Javier and Teresa were spotted by the train tracks hitting Javier's four-footer. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
4:36 AM: Everyone has gone to sleep, seemingly giving up speculating about a monday flunkpocalypse. I am left alone, cold, and procrastinating to hold out against all odds. This could be huge. <-------- You're never alone in the hunt for the Flunk.<br />
<br />
5:12 AM: HELMUT IS HERE! Just saw him walking towards seymour as i walked out to go back to post. <--Does he normally got to breakfast?<br />
<br />
6:06 AM: No email, not flunk day.<br />
<br />
== April 24th ==<br />
Everything disappeared because the final flunk is April 23rd, there is no April 24th. The world will end after the final flunk!!! So line up the shots, break into your stash, jump in the mud pit and flunking have a flunking fun flunk day!!!<br />
<br />
No promise that the 23rd is flunk day but if it isn't we will have to wait until at least Wednesday as there are home softball games on Tuesday. Confirmation on opponents schedule: http://www.mac.edu/athletics/softball/scores.asp <-- Athletic events can be fake. And even if this one isn't, Flunk Day has flunked up athletic events in the past. <--- Flunk Day has occurred on days where there have been away sporting events, not any home ones though. And this ISN'T fake. That was the point in showing the opponents schedule, MacMurray would not put it on their website if it were not actually going to occur. <-- Unless they don't know it's not going to occur...<-- Why isn't MacMurray softball on the Knox events calendar? Suspicious...<br />
<br />
Zumba is cancelled! <br />
<br />
Forrest thinks Flunk Day is today. Forrest always knows. <-- Hippie Forrest? He thought yesterday was flunk day.<br />
<br />
9:20am DINING SERVICES RECEIVING FOOD SHIPMENT RIGHT NOW. <-- I thought they already received the Flunk food? <---- the caf gets a food shipment every weekday. irrelevant<br />
<br />
9:30am What do the Flunk Day shirts look like this year? <--- Sad and grey, like the fact that they didn't do student-designed shirts again. <-- Have you seen the 2010 shirts? Horrible! <--- Sad? who are you kidding- in four years this is the ONLY shirt I WANT to buy and have bought! and it is not typical for a student-designed contest... last year was the only hear I heard of it.<br />
<br />
10:07am Dean Breitborde cancels Tuesday's Curriculum Committee meeting, very rare. <-- http://i40.tinypic.com/2yyo9xk.png <--re-post with the to and from, the image looks sketchy. < -- first of all, go fuck yourself. Sketchy? incorrect: http://i40.tinypic.com/15yewdx.jpg Some people are great flunktectives, you aren't. <---Looks damn credible. The Final Flunk is upon us. <br />
Didn't Larry clear his whole schedule for flunk day last year??? This could be important... anyone have a meeting cancelled with him later in the day??<br />
<br />
12:20pm Grab n Go staff worker says we'll be anticipating Flunk Day for a couple of weeks yet. Trying to throw us off the scent?<--Who, Marla? She's totally flunking with you.<-- No I heard that Helmut hinted to her that it won't be in April. But he could be lying. <br />
<br />
Tuesday (this day) is the Bradley Girl Talk trip. Buses have been reserved. Students have paid for tix. doesn't bode well for flunkage.<---Could be a hoax to throw people off. Not much advertising for this event. The buses could be used for friars... <-- does flunk day have an official end time? If students are not supposed to leave for girl talk until after dinner, they could just have a really long day. <-- Flunk Day is from 6:30am to 11:00pm. Technically. <-- I have staunchly believed that this Girl Talk excursion has been fake since the day we received that email. Yes, students paid for tickets...but that money can easily be refunded. They only sold tickets for two days, from 5:30-7:30. Usually when Union Board tables they at least try to do some lunch hours. The whole thing seems sketchy as flunk...and since it's a Union Board activity, they can EASILY cancel it. And I'm pretty sure that people wouldn't be upset about missing out on this in order to celebrate Flunk Day. < -- It is also really weird that the trip is not on Union Board's facebook events page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Knox-College-Union-Board/233752620674?sk=events <br />
**It is a known fact that Jil Gates is friends with the Bradley director-- The concert is a cover up as the receptionist for Bradley had no idea that Knox was coming to the concert!!! --- PROOF?? This could be huge. <-- Tickets to the Girl Talk concert are sold to the public through Ticketmaster, so of course the receptionist had no idea what you were talking about. <-- If they were sold through Ticketmaster, it is possible that they were never purchased at all. <br />
<br />
74 Degrees and party cloudy. Sounds like some good flunking weather.<br />
<br />
Regina sent out the work schedule for Flunk Day. Proof that it could be reallllllly soon! <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<br />
<br />
Received a text from a friend and Flunk observer in DeKalb at NIU: "I just saw a truck pulling some carnival equipment and I think it is going to Galesburg for The Final Flunk. Nevermind if it was going the wrong way, it's probably to confuse everyone." THIS COULD BE HUGE. <-- Ha.<br />
<br />
4:53pm: Saw Jil Gates walking from downtown area. Dressed in Grey and Black- looked sketchy... must have been on a FLUNK DAY mission... what else brings her out of her office before 6pm! Last minute errands for FLUNK DAY!!!!<br />
<br />
Lance Factor cancelled wednesday's Environmental Ethics course because he knows we'll all be too hungover to come to class.<br />
Monica Berlin also cancelled her evening class tomorrow for a mysterious play that her son is in at school that she knew nothing about, except that the theme is "Individuality." Strange how so many professors are cancelling classes...<-- also Monica never cancels class...and what kind of parent doesn't know anything about their son's play? And wouldn't she have known for a while and could have told her class earlier in the term? <---what kind of play is on a Tuesday night? <---Gabe Raley emailed ANSO 103 to lighten the work load...MORE TIME 2 FLUNK.<br />
<br />
Sketchy things observed by seniors during the scare this morning: <br/> (Also, These are true. These things happened. I would not shit you. But whether or not they predict Flunk Day as tomorrow remains to be seen.) <br/><br />
1. Craig Southern was in his office at 5:50am...not quite normal, right? Regardless of if lottery numbers are stressing him out, why would he show up to work two hours early? Answer: getting extra work done because he knows that Tuesday is Flunk Day. <br/> <br />
2. As we ran by the first-year side of Post and continued back towards Hamblin/Exec, a custodial worker yelled at us "You guys have the wrong day! It's tomorrow!" <br/><br />
3. Jack Moore was absent, yet he participated in the previous Epic Scare. According to several sources, he got 12 hours of sleep last night, from 10pm to 10am. Why? Preparation for Flunk of course! <-----------Or, he does this every night, because he is a huge blower lame. <----nah, he's just HUGE. <br />
<br />
10:17 PM Just spotted Xavier at America's Best Value with a four foot bong!!!!! <----confirmed!! THIS COULD BE HUGE! <--- QUADRUPLE CONFIRMED...ONCE FOR EACH FOOT OF HIS BONG!<br />
<br />
it's too calm here <--probably because everyone was so disappointed this morning that no one wants to get their hopes up. also it's only 10:34<br />
<br />
HAM! for flunk day! <---- and SNACKS!! <-- ???<br />
<br />
11:16 PM C'mon people, is no one else here? Let's not get disheartened. Anything seem suspicious? ANYWHERE? <--- The fact that there is nothing suspicious is suspicious! < -- Suspected calm before the storm.<br />
<br />
Did anyone think that maybe all the action last night was a distraction? that all the pre-FLUNK action was done last night in an attempt to throw us off. and tonight the inactivity is to make us unaware of FLUNK DAY tomorrow. they want us to be discouraged by getting our hopes high for April 23 when the actual FLUNK is April 24.. <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
Campus Safety sent TKS the Campus Safety Log today instead of Tuesday. Katy Sutcliffe has written it for three years and says that has NEVER ONCE HAPPENED. Flunk Day must be tomorrow so they had to write it today!<br />
<br />
Debbie Southern just emailed me to make an appointment for tomorrow. Possible evidence against flunk day? Possibly just flunking with us?<--- why is debbie southern still awake?<--staying up late for the Flunk? THIS COULD BE HUGE<---Dibbie is sick. No appointments tomorrow. '''Lawl. '''This could also be huge.''''''<br />
<br />
12:56 AM Alum, Carlyse Owens, living in Chicago area, feeling the Flunk. Must be Flunk Day<br />
<br />
12:57 AM Lights on in Mailroom <-- Pics or it didn't happen.<--Can anyone confirm? <----Confirmed! But no lights behind the boxes. <--- Saw some weird-looking things in mailboxes, could have just been unchecked spam mail, could be something more?<br />
<br />
2:00 AM- It smells bad outside. Flunk Funk?<br />
<br />
4:34 AM- Caf and Dining Service lights are on. Several workers have been spotted. Lots of movement. Preparing Flunk breakfast? #ithinkso <------ Can anyone confirm? <--- Confirmed! Working in the Rodge Lodge and I hear lots of movement upstairs. Also #hashtagsaredumb<br />
<br />
4:0? AM- Senior Alex L heard singing down the stairs of the Yellows. Friar?<br />
<br />
5:28 AM group of frosts gathering by the Townhouses <----- CAN ANYONE CONFIRM? CAUSE THIS COULD BE FREAKING HUGE.<br />
<br />
5:45 AM FLUNK FAIL. <br />
<br />
6:04 Not today folks, nope.<br />
<br />
== April 25th ==<br />
Too bad Flunk Day wasn't Monday... now it won't even be a surprise. Union Board Fail. I am disappoint. <- seconded. <- everyone's always disappointed in Union Board <- CONFIRMED <- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <-THIS COULD BE HUGE <- THIS IS ALREADY HUGE <- THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID <- UNION BOARD STILL SUCKS <- CONFIRMED <br />
<br />
John Spittell and Daniel Beers both think Flunk Day is Wednesday. Done deal. <-- Beers is my boy.<br />
<br />
Zazen meditation is the only event on the calendar. Is it Flunk or is it foolery?<br />
<br />
They added a photo exhibit to the schedule, but it's at the Civic Art Center. Trying to throw us off the scent of Flunk?<br />
<br />
Sam Martone's official prediction says sam martone sucks. So he obviously does <--CONFIRMED <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <--THIS COULD BE HUGE <- TRIPLE CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
This is definitely the day of flunk just going on a whim here<br />
<br />
If this isn't the sanctioned date of Flunk Day, the school should revolt and flunk anyways. No more scares. GIVE US THE FINAL FLUNK! <--CONFIRMED <--DOUBLE CONFIRMED <-- TRIPLE CONFIRMED. We need to make sure the whole school knows!<br />
<br />
Debbie Southern cancelled an important weekly meeting because the 25th is Secretary's Day... A lame cover-up if you ask me.<br />
<br />
Today is Flunk Day. Yep.<br />
<br />
The suspected musical guest is Gym Class Heroes. On their tour they are in Macomb on the 23rd and then in NY on the 28th. Why the break? FLUNK DAY OF COURSE. <--- Bands take breaks on tour for any variety of reasons. There are also gaps like this in their schedule for May, too. <--- We all know bands always have gaps in their tour schedules. Clearly the original poster doesn't mean they're taking a break FOR flunk day, just that there's always the option that they can be here... <-- It has been reported on the Facebook page today that Gym Class is too expensive... http://www.facebook.com/events/413379372024883/ who could it be???<br />
<br />
<br />
There are fifteen prospies coming Wednesday, so today is probably notttt the day. 5 of them are due to stay overnight also. <--- prove it. FLUUUNK DAY BETCHES! <--- Admissions has been known to make-up prospects to visit on flunk day so this is just more evidence that this IS flunk day <----Prospies can be here on flunk day. <-------- ALSO, three different people working with admissions have told me three different numbers of prospies for Wednesday. Sketchy? <---- Proof for Prospies on flunk day: I stayed overnight on Flunk Day last year.<br />
<br />
It's going to be rainy as fuck. Indoor flunks? Flunk in the rain? <--- they always set a rain date for Flunk Day, so if it's pouring out, Flunk Day will be postponed and we would be none the wiser... <--Ummm I thought the company they used was from like Florida or some coast, I'm sure once the date is chosen after a certain time, whether rain or shine they can't turn back on it. SO FLUNK THE RAIN! It will only make for a better mudpit!<---- It's not going to be "rainy as fuck." Learn how much 30-40% chance actually means. <-- It means the weatherpeople don't got their shit straight. <---Before you get angry maybe you should check the forecast again idiot<br />
<br />
Williston's janitor Gary said in passing that today's the day. Someone needs to find out what he knows!<br />
<br />
It is today if it is indeed this week. :) hi <--The campus life calendar is not trustworthy.<br />
<br />
All Day: Beta's seen being idiots, everyday. Flunk day doesnt matter when your always awesome <---CONFIRMED <-----you're* <---Bad grammar doesn't matter when they're just proving their point about being idiots. <----Exactly why I pointed it out.<br />
<br />
There are only two online assignments lined up for phys 167, when there are normally enough to cover at least a week and a half. Schulz must be preparing to cover Wednesday's material on Friday! <-- This MUST be the case. The Physics department knows all!<br />
<br />
Craig Southern sent out an email earlier today in which he said all housing applications are to be picked up Wednesday (April 25th) and filled out and returned the next day. Would he tell people to pick up housing applications on flunk day?<----Those who are going to apply for a single better be on their shit. <----why would he know/care?<br />
<br />
Flunk Day is ruining my life. <br />
<br />
HAM! on flunk day!<br />
<br />
10:30am Helmut has dining services staff member Denise prepare the cucumber sauce for tomorrow's gyro bar this morning. Sign of no flunk?<br />
<br />
11:40am theyre mowing the lawns <-- they mowed the lawns yesterday! double mow since they won't be able to mow around the moon bounce and dance party tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Prophetic dream that flunk day was tomorrow. Also, in dream, Jil Gates was going around saying "why do you assume that flunk day has to only last for one day?" My dreams have been proven true 25% of the time. <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
3:27 p.m. George with the really long hair who graduated last year spotted on campus! He must BE BACK FOR FLUNK DAY! Alumni always know! <-- He has been back for about a week. SNU was doing a thing. <-he came back for SNU's activation<br />
<br />
3:10pm important chem 399 ACS speaker rescheduled to speak next Wednesday. <---I'm in chem 399 too, can you back this up?<br />
<br />
3:50 p.m. A group of ol dmen, maybe Alumni, walking towards CFA. Overheard one ask, "Well? Is it going to be Flunk Day tomorrow?" Another, looking like he had authority, said, "No. It's not." They were all dressed in suits. one carried a roller briefcase. Another was wearing a bowler hat. <-there was only one set of footprints in the sand. when asked why, Jesus responded "sand people ride single file to hide their numbers"<br />
<br />
4:10 p.m. Helmut just left campus in his red convertible. I work in the caf, so I know he usually works until 6-7ish. Getting ready for an early morning?<br />
<br />
4:09 pm Kathleen Drake sent an email to Williston about damages on Flunk Day. WHY WAIT UNTIL NOW?<br />
<br />
5:10 pm Jack Moore and Kaitlyn Duling exiting Jil Gates's apartment. Last minute flunk planning?<br />
<br />
I LOVE FLUNK DAY <-- I LOVE YOU AND FLUNK DAY <---CONFIRMED <---This not only COULD be huge, IT '''IS''' HUGE! <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
The Quickie man thinks wednesday is the day!!<br />
<br />
5:19 PM: JPow cancels his fifth period microeconomics class because he's "going out of town tomorrow". Going out of town, or getting started early for THE FINAL FLUNK?! <--- NO. He's definitely not getting ready for an early flunk. Trust me. <- Jpow does not think tomorrow is flunk day.<br />
<br />
6:20pm: I went to buy gin at the Quickie and this was my conversation with the Quickie guy: <br/><br />
Quickie Guy: "Only one more day!" <br/><br />
Me: "Do you think it's tomorrow?" <br/><br />
QG: "It's ''always'' tomorrow." <br/><br />
Me: "Yeah, you're right..." <br/><br />
QG: "But no I think it's tomorrow. I just have a feeling." <br/><br />
BAM. Quickie Guy has a feeling. Start drinking. -->> ALREADY STARTED. <br />
<br />
6:30 PM Seniors seen purchasing flunk day materials at Hyvee and Walmart. Let the games begin. <- [http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/22400000/Jack-Sparrow-GIF-johnny-depp-22453636-500-190.gif a problem we won't be having] <-liz? <br />
<br />
7:01 PM around 10-11 hours from now, we shall all be flunking.<br />
<br />
7:12 PM Seniors are preparing Jello shots for the final flunk. <--- Don't seniors do this on a daily basis? <--- Speaking as a senior, yes. Every day. Jello shots.<br />
<br />
Approx. 6 PM: Saw Teresa Amott walking around with the man in the bowler hat and the man with the rolling suitcase. They were carrying four-foot bongs. <<--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
A student in Professor Fowler's class said that he knows tomorrow is Flunk Day because he can PREDICT THE FUTURE. <---Seems legit. <-- THE LEGITIMACY OF THIS KNOWLEDGE IS OUT OF ANYONE'S CONTROL!!!!! LEGIT FLUNK NOW AND FOREVER!!! WE WILL RISE TO SEE A NEW FUTURE OF FLUNK AND FRIVOLITY!!! FOREVER AND EVER UNTIL DOOMSDAY DO WE PART!<br />
<br />
Approx. 7:30 p.m. Jack Moore spotted wearing Flunk Day shirt in caf. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW GUYS.<br />
<br />
THIS IS BIG!!! earlier today two students drove past a large, ELECTRIC PURPLE TOUR BUS on MAIN STREET. Our musical guest?!?!?!?!?!?!? <-----only logical guess is then PRINCE. <--- pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
Suspected Musical Guest: Rebecca Black. <- Confirmed by Craig Southern <-- This is only ok if she performs the Flunk Day version of "Friday". <----everyone would puke up their alcohol consumption of the day<br />
<br />
Earlier today a unusual moving truck was spotted parked near the HyVee http://thewikifire.org/images/3/39/Truck.jpg <--legit. ,<-- CONFIRMED SAW THAT TRUCK LAST NIGHT DRIVING CIRCLES AROUND TOWN.<br />
<br />
8:18 PM Flunking Flunk should just Flunk.<br />
<br />
Flunk Day is coming. The Starks are always right eventually.<br />
<br />
8:30 Former Flunk Day [http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/23/flunkdayplaners.jpg Planers] spotted flying into Peoria.<br />
<br />
Today, Nancy Eberhardt told her ANSO 326 class to be "awake and cheery and ready for a great class discussion" on Thursday. Suspicious? I think Yes.<br />
<br />
8:40pm hyvee wine and spirits worker says he has seen a lot of knox customers today and damn do we drink a lot, way to keep it classy <-you were clearly there as well, so flunk off. <-- Cool flunk spirit, bro. ^^ o are you just upset that you cant legally buy booze yet? sucks to suck.<br />
<br />
<br />
9:00 PM NEON TREES <---Where?<br />
<br />
9:04 PM Jill Gates' door closes fairly hard....Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
9:12 PM- Forgot to post this earlier. Three unmarked white vans circled campus several times this morning around second period. These were NOT the vans that are normally passing the school to carry train workers to the yard. Vendors checking out the space for tomorrow? The FBI? Javier's vans full of bongs?<br />
<br />
== April 26th ==<br />
<br />
Are the softball games real? I don't see them on Robert Morris's schedule... http://www.robertmorris.edu/athletics/womenssoftball/schedule/<br />
<br />
The previous link is to the schedule for Robert Morris's Chicago campus' team...This is to the Springfield campus confirming the softball games...http://www.robertmorris.edu/athletics/womenssoftball/springfield/schedule/<br />
<br />
Creepily overheard Kaitlyn making an appointment with Helmut for Thursday whilst in line at the Oak Room. Unless this is a red herring, could it mean Flunk Day won't be this day? <--- isn't she the senate dinning chair?<br />
<br />
== April 27th ==<br />
If FlunkFood was delivered Monday, April 16th, this would be the last day to serve fresh food. <--- since when does the caf serve us fresh food?<br />
<br />
== May 1st ==<br />
Another conspicuous day of events: Spanish Table, Photo Exhibit, Red Room, and a Family Planning Booth.<br />
The Chicago Knox Club Alumni Relations proclaims May first as Flunk Day<br />
<br />
== May 2nd ==<br />
Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
Guys, this was the date of Flunk Day last year. They wouldn't do it on the exact same day twice in a row... or would they? <----CONFIRMED they would!<br />
<br />
== May 4th ==<br />
Today is National Hoagie Day, which means it is Flunk Day OBVIOUSLY <br />
<br />
== May 7th ==<br />
Today will be FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
This is going to be the start of the first week with Teresa as our new president. What better way to celebrate with Flunk Day?? It will be her first Flunk day EVER and her first as the president!<br />
<br />
If Flunk Day is any day this week, it's going to be WAY too late. Everyone will be so flunking drained from getting their hopes up that we'll all just be cranky and tired. <-- CONFIRMED. I'm doing my homework all day if it's this late, yo.<br />
<br />
== May 8th ==<br />
What are these fake showcases? Will they wait until Teresa is officially our President to bring the flunk? <---yes! there is too much planning that goes into events like the installation to flunk it up with Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
May 8th is the perfect Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== May 9th ==<br />
Once again, only meditation..is it too late for flunk? <---It is never too late for FLUNK. When will you people learn. Goddamn it!!! There is no hope for this world if you can't wrap your infant like brain around this!<br />
<br />
Arnold Salgado wishes for this day to be flunk day! => so too does one Johnathan Powers! or it is at least his speculation of the final flunk...<br />
<br />
== May 10th ==<br />
Another "showcase" or flunk?? <--Showcase CANCELED! THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<--COnfirmed. Does the obvious "CANCELLED" label instead of removal mean something?<br />
<br />
Playwright's Workshop was added to the calendar, but if they waited that long to send it in, it won't FLUNKing matter!<br />
<br />
== December 21 == <br />
<br />
Let's be real guys...the Final Flunk is going to coincide with the actual apocalypse. PREPARE YOURSELVES<br />
<br />
NOT!!!</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2012&diff=24346Flunk Day 20122012-04-23T08:15:59Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 23rd */</p>
<hr />
<div>Fuck that picture, I want see the table of contents. It can be found below.<br />
---->Approved.<br />
<br />
<br />
== '''Preparing Yourself for the Final Flunk''' ==<br />
[[File:flunkitup.jpg]] [[File:Screen shot.png]]<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Any good Flunk Day celebration is well-prepared. Keep these tips in mind when you work yourself up watching for suspicious food trucks and random carnival rides!<br />
<br />
1. Go buy your booze now. The worst thing that could happen is to be caught off guard with nothing to set your morning off right!<br />
<br />
2. Check the Wiki Fire often. Post the conspicuous looking shit you see around campus/town and don't be a dick.<br />
<br />
3. E-mail, bother, and/or harass the known Flunk Day planners/accomplices: Jil Gates, Deb Southern, Jack Moore, Regina Rosenbrock, Kaitlyn Duling. Watch Jack at all hours of the day. He is the Lord of the Flunk. See where he goes, write it down here!<br />
<br />
4. Dig the damn mudpit already! <--as a former Conger/Neal resident, I can tell you it will take MUCH longer and be MUCH harder than you think! Have extra shovels hidden in your rooms, because anything left in the suite can be confiscated. Lookouts are a must, have them positioned by West street, on the other side of the Center for Intercultural Life, as well as someone in Neal or Conger 3 for better long-range visibility. Dig a little bit every night because it is seriously SO FUCKING HARD to dig a hole in the ground! <--- also, if campus safety happens to catch you digging, do not run into your building still wearing your muddy shoes because they will follow your muddy footprints and find you in the basement<br />
<br />
Enlist the help of Sigma Chi. DO it.<br />
<br />
5. Don't be fooled by lawn mowing or the quality of the weather. They mow the lawn nearly every other day in the Spring and there have been many not-so-sunny days of Flunk.<br />
<br />
6. If you don't get all the Xavier and Raptor jokes, see the Flunk Day 2009 page[http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2009].<br />
<br />
7. Talk to new people. Share Flunk Day hints, clues, and stories. Sharing is caring, especially in the season of Flunk. <br />
<br />
8. Believe everything you see, hear, and read in this wonderful and mysterious time of year. It's all true. We promise.<br />
<br />
9. Don't be a total scrooge about the scares. It's a natural part of spring term at Knox. I mean, the seniors had to wake up even earlier than you AND run around.<br />
<br />
== '''Is it Flunk Day yet?''' ==<br />
<br />
<br />
We already told you not to bother with the lawn mowers, but what SHOULD you look for in finding clues? Here are some helpful clues!<br />
<br />
'''Admissions'''<br />
Ask an admissions student worker to note days on the calendar where no visits are scheduled. These days are few and far between - and good hints.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Calendar Events'''<br />
For those who check the Events Calender daily (as all Flunk Day enthusiasts should) be sure to notice any changes that occur in the schedule from week to week. This is a tricky way to find clues, but the most committed investigators will double check other schools' sports schedules and compare them with ours, call to check dates and times, and watch for days with no events listed!<br />
<br />
Note that the calendar is not bound by the honor code; some events may be made up. Additionally, even though a sports event may be scheduled, Flunk Days have occurred when the softball team has had a game, or the golf team has had a tournament.<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Helmut and the Cafeteria Staff'''<br />
Watch for him heading into or out of work at odd hours - that has set off the Flunk Day alarm in the past!<br />
<br />
Ask student employees about surprise food shipments.<br />
<br />
And if you happen to be sharing a doobie with a dining services staff member, don't be afraid to take advantage of the situation and just ask. "So, uh, do you know when it is?"<br />
<br />
'''Mailroom'''<br />
<br />
If you see lights on in the Mailroom at an unreasonable hour, it could be the big day. Find a friend who works in the Mailroom and have them keep an eye out for suspicious deliveries or pick-ups!<br />
<br />
<br />
'''Parking Lots, Community Sightings'''<br />
<br />
Get out and procrastinate on all your work by driving around for a few hours a night and check out the local scenery. Notice any large trailer trucks, or carnival rides parked in the WalMart parking lot? Post them here. Pics or GTFO. <br />
<br />
<br />
'''Flunk Day Planners'''<br />
<br />
They're stone walls. If you are best friends, roommates, or just sleeping with one of them, ask questions. Pay attention to body language. Bug the shit out of them. Bring the results to your friends at the WikiFire.<br />
Known Planners: <br />
Jack Moore-tallest man on campus. senior.<br />
Regina Rosenbrock: blonde Kappa. junior.<br />
Kaitlyn Duling: Hot. Dark hair. junior.<br />
<br />
Plus one secret one!!!! Probably a senior, doesn't need to be on Union Board. <--How do we know there's a secret one if it's secret?<br />
<br />
'''Rumors and Scares'''<br />
<br />
We can just come right out and say that last year the underclassmen were assholes. Sorry, but we are NOT sorry, and if you live in Post or the Quads (or the vicinity) you ''will'' be woken up for a scare or two. Don't whine about it, we've all been scared once or twice, too. Wake up, question whether today is that magical day, do a shot or two, and go back to bed if it isn't. <br />
<br />
Believe everything. Live every day like it's Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
'''NOW GET TO HINT HUNTING YOU MOTHER FLUNKERS!!'''<br />
<br />
==Pre-Flunk Hunt 2012==<br />
<br />
Xavier was spotted at several different points this summer by several different anonymous sources. Hopping off a boxcar with several drifters, each holding one of his four-footer (or so) bongs, he was said to have torn his shirt off each time while roaring, "FLUUUUUUUNK!" <br />
<br />
Xavier is clearly behind all this unseasonably warm weather we've been having. Flunk Day will be earlier than ever this year as a result!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
The weeks of April 23-27 and April 30- May 4 are the weeks of pre-enrollment but this does not necessarily mean that flunk day will not be in those two weeks. These weeks are the most common weeks for flunk day historically.<br />
<br />
So, the theme of Flunk Day is The Final Flunk, right. Because the end of the world is supposed to happen in this year of 2012. Wouldn't it be just so clever, then, if this year marked the end of Flunk Day as well? As in, no Flunk Day? As in, the rumors that Flunk Day doesn't exist finally come true? THIS COULD BE HUGE. Also, everyone knows [[Teresa Amott]] DOESN'T LIKE FLUNK DAY! <br />
<br />
At 2:24 on March 28, J-Pow predicted Flunk Day would be May 9. That's economics. <-- Furthermore, the Art Dept. is having their once-a-term field trip to the Art Institute of Chicago. So many students will already be excused from classes. Would this not be perfect timing?<br />
<br />
Cody Dailey is currently finalizing his Flunk Day prediction. This could be HUGE. This actually means next to nothing at all.<br />
<br />
Where is the "official email" for Flunk season? --An email regarding "policies and rules" was sent out on April 18 last year.<br />
<br />
At 11:53 on April 4, the official Flunk Day email is sent out. Obviously Flunk Day is TOMORROW! --> It was a particularly classy Flunk Day e-mail and included pictures and bullet points. Maybe they think if they illustrate Flunk Day they can convince us it already happened? <br />
-----> early flunk day email + summer in march = EARLIEST FLUNK DAY IN HISTORY. <br />
<br />
READ THIS: Admitted Student Days are April 13 and April 20. Flunk day fucks up campus and thus will not happen before all of the precious prospies come to visit. <br />
<br />
Any clue who the planners are this year? <--- Jack Moore, Regina Rosenbrock, Kaitlyn Duling, and a SUPER SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNER! FIND OUT WHO IT IS!!!! <--Totally and completely false<br />
<br />
NOTE: CAF WORKERS SAID THAT FLUNK DAY FOOD PREPARATION IS ON THERE APRIL CALENDAR!!!<br />
<br />
==April 5th ==<br />
<br />
Flunk day shirts are here. Union Board is selling them AFTER Flunk Day because Flunk Day is tomorrow!<br />
<br />
Jack Moore seen being really tall <---THIS COULD BE HUGE! <---Rumor: Jack Moore is "huge." <---MMhmm. CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
Debbie Southern heard chatting with Jil Gates before Flunk Day email was sent out about how it would "catch them off guard."<br />
<br />
Spotted: JPow walking across the gizmo patio saying how he's "ready for flunk day".<br />
<br />
It isn't even April 5th yet guys... <---FLUNK DAY HAS NO BOUNDARIES, rookie mistake. Wait, so you can see into the future?<br />
<br />
Today is Wednesday, but it's almost over, which means it's almost Thursday. Therefore, it's almost Friday. So Flunk Day will be tomorrow.<br />
<br />
looks like he's taking a break from hunting vampires... ABE IS IN THE HOUSE!!! <--- This could be HUGE!! can someone confirm?! <---I have visual confirmation!! <--- Pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
== April 6th == <br />
Students saw a clown in a car, driving through Illinois. Obviously, Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8th ==<br />
11:54pm seniors are seen leaving Hamblin, exclaiming "we need to get our stash PRONTO!"<br />
<br />
== April 9th ==<br />
Two people seen digging in the mud pitt!!! Somebody please confirm this!!! <---CONFIRMED. Ladies and gents, start your flunk engines. VROOM VROOM<br />
<br />
== April 10th == <br />
There's a baseball game on the schedule for 6:30 PM. Our field doesn't have lights. Interesting.<br />
<br />
The game is at Galesburg High School, they have lights CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
All this talk of people digging the mud pit is false. Get on that, quads.<br />
<br />
Planners seen entering Old Main and exiting one hour later...Flunk?! <----you waited them out?<br />
<br />
Just heard Regina and Kaitlyn planning a booze run- flunky flunk tomorrow, definitely. <--False. Junior planners can't drink on Flunk Day<br />
<br />
7:56 PM -- Helmut was hanging around the caf a little late tonight...just spotted him leaving!<br />
<br />
Rumors are running around that tomorrow could be the big day...could it be? A flunk day this early? Remember, the Safety e-mail hasn't gone out yet. But you'd <br />
better get your stashes ready...<br />
<br />
<br />
COME ON CONGER/NEAL! GET GOING ON THAT MUDPIT!<br />
<br />
Helmut is back on campus!!! The Mudpit has to happen! <-- 8:55 p.m. <---pics or it didn't happen<br />
<br />
Obama tells the tale of the flunk >>> http://i.imgur.com/NFcyC.jpg<br />
<br />
9:21p.m. observed Kathleen Drake and Jill Gates on the corner of West and South St. Both looked tired. one yelled, "See you in a few hours!" Get your Flunk On!!! <---They probably were leaving R.A. class is SMC.<br />
<br />
9:38 p.m. overheard one of the library workers: "No, don't worry about it, we can do it tomorrow. Wait no...I'll do it on Thursday *laughs*"<br />
<br />
9:49 PM: Regina Rosenbrock says tomorrow is Flunk Day, she's not doing her homework but instead kickin' it with her awesome suitemates.<br />
<br />
9:53pm: there has already been an preliminary text from an unknown number sent to a selection of seniors that simply says "I hope you're FINALLY done with all of your homework...we wouldn't want you to FLUNK out of Knox during your last term!"<br />
<br />
Rick Santorum dropped out of the race so he could make it to Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
BREAKING NEWS: Maddie Davis, secret Flunk Day planner?! <-----Evidence?? From Galesburg, knows Knox well, works in the mailroom, lives with Rachel Hautzinger a UB member...NEED I SAY MORE?!<br />
<br />
Any updates on the MUDPIT!? <---- the mud pit is dryer than a desert <-- Still no mudpit at 11:00pm <br />
<br />
Carrie and Rachel spotted digging the mudpit with red solo cups in their hands! <---Can you confirm?? <---Carrie didn't even help with the mudpit last year and she lived in Neal. Tomorrow MUST be Flunk day <---False, she watched for campus safety and screamed obscenities out the window.<br />
<br />
<br />
11:08 PM Maddie Davis is hammered right now <---- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<----- THIS COULD BE ANY DAY OF THE WEEK! <---God damnit.<br />
<br />
11:11pm Kaitlyn Duling spotted leaving her house headed towards campus. Dressed too nice for it to be Flunk Day tomorrow. <-----Kaitlyn always dresses pretty nice, to be fair. <--- I was wearing a suit earlier tonight, does that mean no flunk tomorrow? I think NO CORRELATION! <-- Confirmed! She was wearing a dress but had a bag, perhaps with extra clothes. These planners will go to all lengths to trick everyone<br />
<br />
11:15pm Papers covering the mail room windows means no evidence for Flunk Day Foolery <---pics? they haven't covered the windows in years past [http://i958.photobucket.com/albums/ae62/zackymichel/MailRoom11pm.jpg]<br />
<br />
11:20pm: back from a Quickie run, and the guy at the counter said he predicts Flunk Day will be a Wednesday this year<br />
<br />
11:35pm JACK MOORE IS NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE <-- CONFIRMED HE MUST BE CATCHING A SNOOZE BEFORE THE BIG DAY<br />
<br />
11:37 p.m. Rachel Hautzinger cannot be contacted <--- SHE IS NOT IN HER APARTMENT! <-- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
11:38 p.m. Participants in the Aerial Dance company classes just received an e-mail saying tomorrow's class has been CANCELLED - there is NO reason to do that!!! - unless it's Flunk Day!!! <--- Can you confirm this? <--Yes, I'm in it, I'm taking the MW class and I just got it. It's from Jen Smith and she organized the thing. <--- CONFIRMED! THIS COULD BE HUGE! <-- Screenshot the email?<br />
<br />
11:45pm Lights on at Jil Gate's apartment <--- CONFIRMED FROM INSIDE <--planners could just be hanging out there trying to trick us <-- she shuts down parties at 10 p.m. ON WEEKENDS, do you really think she'd be up this late on a weeknight just for kicks? <-- she would stay up for the sake of FLUNK!<br />
<br />
11:48 p I SAW SANTA. Isn't he in the carnival? FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
11:55 Mud pit update?<br />
<br />
11:56 Daniel Beers just sent out a revised schedule and tomorrow isn't on it... <--- I received no email. I SEE THROUGH YOUR SENIOR SCHEMING <-- I got an email and I'm in his PS 321! There is indeed no Wednesday on the schedule! <-- THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
REGARDLESS OF IF IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW OR NOT SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET ON THAT MUDPIT! <----- '''CONFIRMED!!!!'''<br />
<br />
== April 11th ==<br />
Proof:[[Media:FlunkDay2012isonApril11th.jpeg]] <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
<br />
Faculty meeting scheduled for April 11th was canceled! <-- CONFIRMED! NO MEETING!<br />
<br />
Helmut seen talking to caf ladies suspiciously during lunch.. could he be scheming for flunk? <-- DINOSAUR CUP, I FILL YOU UP, LET'S HAVE A PARTY. TODAY IS FLUNK DAY.<br />
<br />
Flunk day shirts have arrived. They're gray and will be on sale April 11th for $10 <--- JUST IN TIME FOR FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
This is the second day of the Almost There Fair, which all graduating seniors must attend to get their cap and gown, etc. Thus Flunk Day would not be on this day because that would mess up graduation for a good number of students, who were planning to go buy their stuff on the 11th. No Flunk Day. <---Why not reschedule? An early Flunk is a good flunk. <--- When picking up my gown the guy next to Kathleen Drake complained about what a hassle it is that Knox can't commit to their original schedule and now he has to change his.... FLUNK DAY IS TODAY!<br />
<br />
Underwear dance party in the quads tomorrow <---- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Did a ride-along for my journalism class today. The officer told me he was asked to come in early tomorrow, along with half of the early shift! there is no events in town. unless it's flunk day!<br />
<br />
11:20 PM Saw people walking into the room, but when i got there mailroom doors were covered! Proof? Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhbN0GHsO54&feature=youtu.be<br />
<br />
12:44 AM } Ran into the seniors on a Walmart run - So we stacked up the rest... of the fridge. Ppl it's happening and Seymour is ready! <--Freshman think people care about their stash. Flunk day is obviously tomorrow.[[File:Mystache.png]]<br />
<br />
12:40 AM Saw someone running into exec with a hoodie on, hood up. They looked in a hurry. It was kind of sketchy. Did anyone else see this? <--- CONFIRMED! Saw this sketchy ass person! <---- DOUBLE CONFIRMED! I saw them too! What the flunk?!<br />
<br />
12:55 AM Students at the Quickie witnessed the installation of an ADDITIONAL liquor shelf behind the counter. This is probably to hold the giant shipment of booze they got in today because they know tomorrow is FLUNK DAYY!!! <--- confirmed! I was only there to get a Diet Coke but decided to get another fifth of tequila, just in case!<br />
<br />
Jack Moore is awake after midnight on a week-day.. he's never up and active this late. this could be HUGE<br />
<br />
1:05 AM Jack Moore seen passing Longden with Duling, laughing about something. After seeing the panicked but excited look on my face as I locked the windows, they laughed again and ran off.<br />
<br />
1:11 AM Just spotted a Campus Safety officer patrolling the area by the quads to check the mudpit area. <--- any mudpit action?<br />
<br />
1:15 AM Jack Moore and Kaitlyn Duling seen walking quickly North across campus. After Kaitlyn departs (location unknown) Jack seen sprinting to his car and driving West.<br />
<br />
1:19 Paper removed from mail room windows. Flunk day is totally today! <br />
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-wx6Vd5dfaAk/T4Uh_QoesxI/AAAAAAAAAOw/R0TFAYTwFHY/s533/12+-+1<br />
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-jHb3DayKXzs/T4Uh_e-Zc0I/AAAAAAAAAO8/sXeL5_Haljc/s533/12+-+2<br />
<br />
Are the lights normally on in the caf at night? <--- Can anyone confirm this? <--- confirmed kitchen but not main caf lights are on!<br />
<br />
That Alakazam performer is here tomorrow afternoon - what if his act is part of the flunk schedule?! <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
Breaking news: KONY releasing some of his child soldiers for Flunk Day. KONY 2012!<br />
<br />
1:55AM Watcha guys doin... NOT DIGGING THE MUDPIT, now dig my minions, digggg<br />
<br />
2:07 AM MY FRIEND JUST FORWARDED ME THIS EMAIL!!!<br />
<br />
[[http://i1271.photobucket.com/albums/jj639/flunkfox/Screenshot2012-04-11at20152AM.png]] <--- when is jil gates awake at 2am? NEVER. IT'S FLUNK DAY.<br />
<br />
2:10 AM Sketchy car hovering outside seymour dock and then circling campus. Also, gizmo/caf workers leaving kitchen. Closing up gizmo, or prepping for Flunk day?<br />
<br />
Half-assed scare at 6 AM. Today is not Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
== April 12th ==<br />
<br />
Stephanie Meyer author of Twilight is supposed to be in town signing books. Flunkpocalypse coincidence? I think not! <--- where is she signing books at?<br />
<br />
12:06 AM - Mudpit ain't happening. Someone should poop on Conger/Neal!!! Neal 3 or Conger 1, especially. <--- Stop (being a dick) singling out suites in Neal and Conger, it is ALL of Conger and Neal's responsibility to dig the mud pit<br />
<br />
1:56 AM - Regina answers a text message. WHY IS SHE AWAKE???? Answer: Vodka. Analysis: Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
9:45 AM - Trucks innocently delivering food to Cafe; however, food today sucked. Anaylsis : Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== April 13th ==<br />
Could the flunkopalypse be coming on Friday the 13th?!?! Prospies are supposed to be here but it could just be the most bad ass open house of all time. They won't Flunk on a Friday <br />
<br />
Student workers in admissions have reportedly still not received their work schedules for the open house today. Could admissions be in on the hoax? <-- Tour guides still don't have their schedules for Friday. Is this normal?<br />
<br />
The 13th and the 20th are listed as admitted students days, but the calendar is suspicious. If you click on the 13th, it sends you to a page to "register" to come to campus, but only has the 20th listed as an option. (http://www.knox.edu/prebuilt/forms/admittedstudentdays2.asp) Conversely, on the 20th, there is nothing indicating you have to register. They haven't had Flunk Day on Friday before, but maybe Friday the 13th is too good to pass up? <-- False. Flunk Day HAS been on a Friday before. Friday the 13th Flunkpocalypse...Could it get any better than that?<br />
<br />
^There is most certainly an admitted students day on the 13th. I have a friend from home who is checking out Knox that day. No way would the campus be Flunked up for parents of admitted students.<br />
<br />
== April 15th ==<br />
<br />
Holy crap! Suspicious caf activity! Helmut is there cooking and none of the students were allowed to do food preparation! <---Can we get confirmation of Helmut's car on campus? <- Fishy caf activity confirmed, cannot confirm on Helmut's car.<br />
<br />
Helmut or no Helmut, the Paul Greenberg "Four Fish" lecture is tomorrow. Seems like way too big of name and event to coincide with Flunk Day...? <--- My professor was pretty pissed that they don't even know when Flunk Day is and that they had to "submit" dates back in winter term to "not hold Flunk day"... I am guessing Greenberg wasn't finalized by then... OR is this a cover up event.. I heard they did those before! <---Dear freshman, you are correct, but this is Paul Greenberg. The amount of work put in to get him here was astronomical. Flunk Day is tomorrow...but it is not tomorrow. <-- Ever heard of misdirection? Paul Greenberg will be here Wednesday.<br />
<br />
Spotted: Kaitlyn and Regina scurrying towards campus <- Confirmed! away from Tompkins, where Jil Gates AND Jack live. Flunk day tomorrow????<br />
<br />
Can we get an update on the mud pit??<br />
<br />
I don't think Greenberg is really coming to campus- Jil Gates and Cindy could not give details of his talk meaning they never saw a contract- every club leader knows those 2 review every contract on campus. Flunk Day is tomorrow!!!!<br />
<br />
http://www.fourfish.org/speaking.html <--- He doesn't have another speaking event for a week. He could easily be rescheduled for Tuesday or Wednesday and stay in a hotel until then. <--- why is the time on the website still TBD?? It's tomorrow, shouldn't that be specified? <-------It says 5pm on Knox's events calendar. <-- They never put false information on the events calendar.<---You're a freshman<br />
<br />
Lights on in the caf! Flunk Day is tomorrow! <--- can you confirm? this could be HUGE <-- PICTURES?? <---- PICTURES OR GTFO. <--see the Flunk Day twitter. Pics are up, but I would like to note that the caf's lights are never ALL the way out. They always keep a few on. So this may NOT be huge. <-- Are these the lights that are normally on, though? <-- don't you think this is a fairly valid prank for the planners to pull on us? <br />
<br />
Saw Jil Gates get out of a car, grab something fairly large from the driver's window and race into her apartment. Flunk day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
ATTN CONGER/NEAL: please use all of this shitty, rainy weather to make some headway on the flunkin' mud pit!<br />
<br />
== April 16th ==<br />
<br />
1:53 a.m. I was supposed to be emailed by Sunday night if my boss needed me to come into work on Monday...and yet I have received no such email. Flunk?<br />
<br />
1:56 a.m. This page is not nearly as active as it should be. No Flunk. <-- or is it so obviously inactive that YES Flunk?!?<br />
<br />
2:04 a.m. Some interesting photos posted to the Flunk Day Twitter account... https://twitter.com/#!/FlunkDay<br />
<br />
3:28 a.m. No activity on this page or on the Flunk Day Twitter in over an hour. Suspicions quelled.<br />
<br />
4:00 a.m. Mailroom lights and bookstore lights still on, as well as mail room windows covered. Kitchen lights in caf and oak room kitchen are on. Mudpit is fresh and muddy WITH fresh mudtracks from shoes. THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
4:45 a.m. SPOTTED campus safety in the caf talking to one of the seymour maintenance guys.<br />
<br />
5:45 am. Scare or Flunk?<br />
<br />
<br />
Campus Grounds workers are mowing the lawns!!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
Spotted in Old Main, Monday morning 8:30 - Helmut and a bunch of other people at Dean Southern's office, meeting. <---who was the "bunch" of people? <--- Couldn't see it properly. Helmut was blocking the ways.<br />
<br />
Conger/Neal get digging on the Mudpit! Use your hands like spades, if you have too.<br />
<br />
OVERHEARD: Kyle Szuta in the computer center "looking forward to Tuesday at home". Random vacation day, or flunk day miracle?<br />
<br />
Quickie owner asked if I was ready for flunk day. IT MUST BE TOMORROW!<br />
<br />
72 degrees and sunny tomorrow? PERFECT<br />
<br />
On Monday afternoon, the Chicago Knox Club sent an invite to alumni for "Flunk Day -- Whenever that is! 4:00 to 8:00 p.m." at Moonshine in Wicker Park. "Whenever" must be thinly-veiled code for tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Sue Hulett sent out a Flunk Day contingency email to at least one of her classes this afternoon. <----screen shot or it didn't happen <--- here's the text, in Sue's signature haphazard style and random capitalization: <br />
<br />
"IF FLUNK Day is Tuesday the 17th-- THEN Quiz on Thursday the 19th and whole schedule moves down one day.<br />
<br />
IF FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY the 16th be ready for QUIZ on Tuesday the 17th -- Class will start at 11am & I will lecture for 50 minutes and then give you the quiz.<br />
<br />
Ideas on General Systems Theory (GST) paper which is due on 4/24 at this point. If FD is Monday the 23rd. CLASS on the 24th will be from 10:40-11:40 and PAPER DUE BY 9am on the 25th. Cheers, Sue" <--- there is also a cat cartoon but I chose not to include that. <-- Why.<br />
<br />
<br />
Mixed up my weeks and went in to see Teresa Amott, but her secretary said she was traveling. Butttt I saw a light on in her office and heard movement in there. Flunk Day? haha butt < IT COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
Mysterious special Flunk Day opportunity to be presented at Union Board meeting.<---Is this the 'mystery flunk day performance' event on facebook?? <-- Would they really post this the day before Flunk Day?<br />
<br />
5:25pm. Two helicopters seen flying over the Quads. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW <--- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
6:17 pm Senate dining services meeting canceled for tonight....committee leader is a planner...THIS COULD BE HUGE<---CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
6:20 pm. No cookies in the caf tonight. There are ALWAYS cookies. Flunk day is tomorrow. <--- Any confirmation? Sadly, this could be HUUUUGE! <--- Actually, whenever they have the panellet sweet potato bar things, there are no cookies (source--I've worked in the bakery).<----nobody actually likes teh sweet potato bars- saving the good stuff for tomorrow?! <br />
<br />
Kaitlyn and Regina seen at Walmart stocking up on supplies for the big day. Flunk is upon us. <-- Junior planners can't drink on Flunk Day. They have to drive the gators and be sober. They're messing with us.<--- CONFIRMED. They're flunking with us. <---Who says the supplies were alcohol? You can't see what they're buying in the picture. Maybe it's other stuff for the flunk <-- the picture circulating is for sure from the alcohol aisle in walmart<-- no it's not, you can see flowers in a cooler which means it's the front aisle by the produce. BOOM. <-- Produce is essential for Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
7:01 PM - the Knox-Monmouth baseball game was rescheduled from Saturday to the 17th, but the 17th is Scots Day at Monmouth - their version of Flunk Day! Would they really agree to schedule a baseball game on the day of their own spring carnival?<----the game is not on their schedule. The schedule states they will play at Knox on the 21st <--- CONFIRMED! Monmouth has no games scheduled tomorrow!<--- The Monmouth game is a rescheduled game from the previous weekend. If people paid attention to the sports teams, maybe they would know this shit<----CONFIRMED, care more people...Also, it is encouraged to treat tomorrow as flunk day and come drunkenly support your student athletes --Monmouth is still scheduled to play tomorrow. <---CONFIRMED <-- They are playing even though it is their carnival? Seems fishy.<---It's a conference game, it needs to be played and weekends are booked. <-- it would have been scheduled after Flunk Day was finalized, so it may just conflict. <---Monmouth player has confirmed that in fact they are being forced to play on Scots Day.<--- I think we can all agree that baseball/softball means nothing to the campus excepting relevant parents and teammates; Meaning, el dia de flunk could be tomorrow.<--- Confirmed!<br />
<br />
7:45pm - seven very different Knox seniors spotted at Hyvee Wine and Spirits stocking up on all things Flunk <-- CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
They haven't mowed in a few days. Waiting until after Flunk Day to fix the lawn for the prospies? <---It's definitely Flunk day tomorrow!<---for sures -- They mowed the lawn today<---in prep for flunk? <br />
<br />
9:19pm - John Schlaf spotted at the Campus Safety office?!?! <---uh he works there? <-- Does he always work this late?<br />
<br />
Jil Gates picked up four giant boxes from the mail room today.<----------She has a P.O. box off campus for Flunk day.<br />
<br />
9:29pm - I just had an OUT OF BODY experience in which the spirit of Lincoln contacted me HIMSELF to inform me that TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY!<-- Confirmed.<br />
<br />
9:40pm - Just asked Siri if Flunk Day was tomorrow and SHE SAID YESSSSSSSS <br />
<br />
9:40 pm- Regina spotted running in and out of the Union Board office <--- like, several times in a row or over a period of a few hours?<br />
<br />
9:44pm - Kathleen Drake leaves Senate Finance Committee early. Flunk day preparations? THIS COULD BE RIDONKULOUSLY HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
9:44pm- I AM DRINKING A BEER. Flunk day? I think YES!<---THIS KID <-- Which Kid?<br />
<br />
9:45pm- Seniors and Faculty members seen buying their Flunk Day stash at Hy fee Liquor<br />
<br />
9:56pm-Jil Gates blinds are completely shut. Lights are on.<----Always---> After some investigation, JG BF was seen drinking something in the apartment. Definitely Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE IS DIGGING THE MOTHERFLUNKING MUD PIT!!!! It seriously takes forever, so get on that shit, Conger/Neal!!! OR ANYONE WITH A SHOVEL AND THE TINIEST HINT OF FLUNK SPIRIT! <---- don't leave muddy footprints and get caught (i won't name names)!!<br />
<br />
10:09PM - CONGER/NEAL DIG THE MUD PIT. THE WHOLE FUNNESS OF FLUNK DAY DEPENDS ON YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
10:11PM - REGINA SPOTTED PUTTING ON LAST YEAR'S FLUNK DAY SHIRT. IS SHE GETTING FLUNKY? <--CONFIRMED!!<---DOUUUUBLE CONFIRMED!!!<----TRIPLE FUCKIN CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
10:15pm Hamblin RA locks apartment door. <--- this never happens. Tomorrow is Flunk Day.<-------- pics or it didn't happen!<br />
<br />
10:19 Regina spotted leaving her suite with a large backpack! This could be huge! <-- HUGE BACKPACK?<br />
<br />
10:20pm - a group of six(?) random seniors seen inspecting the mud pit and getting dirt? whaaaaat <---That's cause Conger/Neal is slacking and the Seniors have to step up to the plate. C'MON CONGER/NEAL!!! <-- SOMEONE HAD BETTER DIG THIS PIT!<br />
<br />
10:25pm - large group of seniors seen in front of the Stucco apartments (across from the Quickie), home to a notorious group of Flunk enthusiasts. Possible scheme hatchery for tomorrow?<br />
<br />
10:28pm Haley Beeson does not answer her phone. 2 TIMES IN A ROW! FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW <-- 4 times! <-- 12 TIMES!<br />
<br />
11:04 pm Regina and Kaitlyn with milkshakes. Why? And where's Jack Moore?<br />
<br />
11:20 pm Three seniors spotted tending the mud pit with household items. Items identified as tupperware, mop and recycling bin. <br />
<br />
11:21 pm One of the three seniors identified as Julia Shenkar. Entirely impossible. It must be flunk day. <br />
<br />
11:25 p.m. Campus Safety spotted guarding the mud pit. Not entirely relevant to Flunk suspicions, but pretty funny.<br />
<br />
11:35 pm Sigma Chi is on fire. First asteroid of the final flunk? <---confirmed<br />
<br />
11:39pm - Lots of student traffic at the Quickie. All exiting with tall brown bags. Quickie stashes, therefore FLUNK.<br />
<br />
Everybody, get your shit together. When posting on the WikiFire about a day being Flunk Day, you post in the section devoted to that day. All of this should be under April 17th. Stop being idiots. Even my freshman friend understood this. We go to Knox. Use your brain. <-- It doesn't make sense to post things happening at 5PM on the 16th under the 17th. Students at Knox should be able to figure out how to scroll up. <-- dunno, people are posting in both and im confused <----MASS HYSTERIA!? apocolyptic zoombie brain? ARE YOU ALREADY DRUNK?<br />
<br />
11:45pm JUST SENT EMAIL TO JIL GATES....RECEIVED THIS AUTOMATED EMAIL IN RESPONSE <br />
<br />
"Good Day,<br />
<br />
I will be out of the office Tuesday April 17th. I return to campus Wednesday April 18th and will respond to emails when then. <br />
<br />
If you need immediate assistance, please contact campus security at 309.341.7979.<br />
<br />
Thank you. Have a wonderful day and better tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Keep the Joy!!!<br />
<br />
Jil Gates" <---- confirm with a screenshot or it isn't true<br />
<br />
http://tinypic.com/r/121e3ut/5 <----HERE<br />
<br />
12:02 am: Our illicit cat is causing a ruckus. SHE knows it's Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
12:13 Just Spotted at Walmart! Group of seniors leaving with shovels and other flunk day supplies! <br />
<br />
Has anyone seen any actual suspicious activity? Flunk preparations do not necessitate Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
The windows in the mailroom were covered. <--- pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
A girl who graduated last year who works at the Landmark says Roger and Ann Taylor were in for dinner tonight!<br />
<br />
== April 17th ==<br />
12 am-- Trash bags covering the windows in the mail room. WENT NUTS. <br />
<br />
Sherwood Kiraly is not teaching a class today <--- OBVIOUSLY FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
Zumba is cancelled for tomorrow. Clearly it will be Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
this would be the perfect day to have flunk day!!! just enough time to get cleaned up before admitted students day on the 20th and have campus looking nice for installation week.<br />
<br />
Henry, caf worker, claims the food order will arrive on the 16th. They wouldn't want the food to spoil, would they? <---Has the food shipment arrived? <-- Can anyone confirm? This could be HUGE<br />
<br />
Overheard two caf workers saying "Tuesday is going to be awful." Preparations for the delicious breakfast bar already??!!<---You know a freshman wrote this because breakfast is the worst meal of Flunk Day, and never a bar. <---I wish it was a bar<--Helmet is trying to kill us by giving us only orange juice and tiny bagels to soak up the booze.<---I believe they are pronounce BAGels. <br />
<br />
Ryan Stoens seen taking Extra Protein its gotta on this day. <-----CONFIRMED...THIS COULD BE HUGE, He usually lays off the stuff during season so there must be a special occasion...FLUNK?<---- poor guy is an addict.<__ should put that stuff to work on the mud pit! <---rumor has it he may have helped for about 15 minutes last year, hes done his part <- Clearly some baseball guys <----Clearly somebody has a hatred for the baseball team, which I personally do not see. I mean have you guys seen them in those baseball pants?? Clearly going to be FLUNK<-- bunch of freshman nicknames clearly dont know crap about what theyre talkinabout!! <---Damn freshmen baseball players, Make a play sparrow...pussy <---- Who is Ryan Stoens? Quit talking about randos. This isn't the Baseball Wiki-Its the Flunk Day wiki Losers.<---Shut up Lahti, give us Hoff back <----CONFIRMED...we miss him...also good creative name<-- AGREED/ Double CONFIRMED THIS IS BIIIIIIG!!! <----------------- LOL! oops. well shit. also he has not been with me all day and you can have him anytime you want. besides the point.<-- We shall take him THAN! <-- he is all yours!<br />
<br />
Seniors seen stocking up at Wal-Mart on bottles, glitter and ALCOHOL!!! It is not too early for Flunk Day!!! IT IS TOMORROW. <------Confirmed. Saw them 2. But where's this mudpit?? <----- AGREED. DIG THE GOD DAMN MUDPIT<---Also agreed. Stupid ass people and their lack of digging. Show a little respect for classic video games. (yes, clutch Dig Dug reference)<------------Knox folks spotted at Hy-Vee Liquor. Stocking up for some flunkage? <---CONFIRMED!!<-- heard there is a mulcher on its way mudpit is about TO BE DOMINATED!!!!!<---If by mulcher you mean Kelly Ricketts, then yes the mud pit is about to be dominated. <br />
<br />
Overheard Coach Eisele, a.k.a. the Athletic Director, saying that there was no way that the students would expect Flunk Day tomorrow because of the "rescheduled" baseball game. Was also told that later on in the day he laughed maniacally and twirled an imaginary mustache.<----Mustache CONFIRMED!!<br />
<br />
Lukas Shaw "if it is flunk day tomorrow, words will not even begin to describe my rage" Its gotta be flunk day tomorrow just to piss him off! THIS IS BIG! HE IS BIG!<------ CONFIRMED! HAVE YOU SEEN THAT GUY? HE'S HUGE!!<br />
<br />
The only real thing on the calendar is a flute recital. The Flunk will definitely not be put on hold for a flute recital.<br />
<br />
Matt Barry seen walking around with an empty red gasoline can full of dollar bills and change and ordering extra hot hamburgers? TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY!<br />
W1<br />
Anna Casey seen sending text messages with her brain. Calling together her android friar army, perhaps? Guys, this is it.<------- Confirmed. Anna Casey is a boss I've see her move boulders and betas with her wit. <br />
<br />
SNU brothers are mixing dark chocolate sizzurp on their porch. The Wonka theme was last year, bros.<br />
<br />
A GIANT black cat jumped through the window <--- IT WAS HUGE<br />
<br />
Just had two seniors abruptly sign off facebook chat on me. Either i'm a total loser or there's flunk in the air... <--- Confirmed, seniors are acting strange and disappearing. Very suspicious. <--- CONFIRMED!!! 1:51 AM - same here! my roommate is a senior.. not back in the room, he abruptly left earlier.<br />
<br />
2:00 AM Jonothan Bass is going to Mcdonald's < ---- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Here's some conspiracy for you all. The date -> 4/17/12 -> 4+17=21 -> 21/12 -> 12/21 is the day the world is supposed to end. Think about it.<br />
<br />
2:30 AM Tomorrow is flunk day, therefore today cannot be the big day.<br />
<br />
2:40 AM WHERE ARE THE SENIORS PEOPLE <---- planning a scare <---- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
3:41 AM any activity around mailroom or caf?<br />
<br />
6:03 AM: Girls with pans outside Williston! But no email yet, and there probably won't be. Still pretty great.<br />
<br />
6:10 AM: FLUNK DAY'S TOMORROW!<br />
<br />
MOST LEGIT SCARE EVER. Good job guys. I was checkin my email. <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
6:30 AM: Drum circle of seniors in the quads. Poor guys, I think they thought it was Flunk Day ;)<br />
<br />
I hope that scare knocked some sense in to Conger-Neal. GROW SOME BALLS AND WORK ON THE DAMN MUDPIT TONIGHT! Sincerely, a concerned senior. <--- CONFIRMED. Some scarers made sure to throw what mud was there at Conger-Neal. Make it happen!<br />
<br />
==April 18th ==<br />
<br />
Jillian Staley is a LIAR! The most IMPORTANT AND FUN thing Conger-Neal residents can do in the season leading up to Flunk Day is to dig the mudpit! You wanted to live there. Take responsibility for your actions!!<br />
<br />
The Flunk Day food shipment is supposedly scheduled to arrive on Monday, which would give Wednesday a high probability of being el dia de flunk.<br />
<br />
Today is most definitely Flunk Day. A townie walking their dog said they heard word of it. Monmouth's (not as good) equivalent of flunk day was the 17th. Think about it. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Maintenance is going HAM on the lawn care. Today's gotta be the day<br />
<br />
Confirmed, the food shipment arrived in Tuesday April 17th. Today is still a possibility <-- Who is confirming this? How do you know it is food for Flunk?<---I will not reveal her/his name but they are a distinguished member of the caf staff. <--- If this is actually true, it's sort of ironic that while we were doing the scare this morning, the Flunk Day feast was being delivered. Too bad no one interrogated the truck driver.<br />
<br />
The wiki has gone silent. Exactly what the planners want. <--- I was just on my way over to start some things..<br />
<br />
Tomorrow does seem pretty unlikely, but perhaps we just aren't digging deep enough for clues! Start hunting y'all!<br />
<br />
Campus safety was definitely out patrolling A LOT today... preparations for tomorrow?<---Not only is Campus Safety out but the baseball team swept Monmouth today, tomorrow must be Flunk<---campus safety circled the mudpit in their mules a few time today <--- RIGHT BECAUSE NOTHING SCREAMS 'IT'S FLUNK DAY' LIKE CAMPUS SAFETY DRIVING IN CIRCLES <--- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
Shut the front door, we beat Monmouth at a sport? IT'S THE APOCALYPSE TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY BEGIN DRINKING NOW! <---Confirmed, they will lose two more times this weekend also<br />
<br />
Call Me Maybe = Best Flunk Day Song Ever <---CONFIRMED, maybe Carley Rae Jepsen will be the performer? <- no, but STILL a better love story than twilight. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
9:03 PM Caf workers seen leaving the caf via the loading dock, isn't that a bit later than they usually leave? <--- No, the last shift ends at 9. <- OMG LOL CAF WORKERS DOING WHAT THEY NORMALLY DO. MUST BE FLUNK DAY. <br />
<br />
9:30 PM A flock of velociraptors is seen circling the campus. <-- VELOCIRAPTORS ARE RELATED TO CHICKENS. ENOUGH SAID. <br />
<br />
9:55 PM ADMITTED STUDENTS DAY IS A LIE! <-- Proof? <-- it isn't a lie, there is an admitted students day. the cake, however, IS a lie. <br />
<br />
ATTN EVERYONE: Wednesday, April 18, is Conan O'Brien's birthday. IT MUST BE FLUNK DAY. TEAM COCO 4 FLUNK! <-- Flunk yeah!<br />
<br />
10:48 PM I just saw Xavier outside of Old Main with a 4-foot bong!! It's tomorrow! <---Confirmed, this could be huge.<br />
<br />
11:25 PM unlikely to have flunk day tomorrow, too many community service activities going on... <-- FALSE. Flunk Day IS community service! <--proof? <br />
<br />
12:10AM Jack Moore seen driving his car and dropping off Vincent Rug at his house near the quads! Vincent Rug= SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNER!= Jack and Vince working of potential Flunk for TOMORROW. . . Or near FUTURE <-hopefully not tomorrow, it's supposed to be ~50-55 degrees and thunderstorm all day. bawk bawk. <br />
<br />
12:19 AM Heard some strange noises from Seymour loading dock. <-THIS ISN'T UNUSUAL. <-BETA <-- CONFIRMED, NOISES WERE FROM BETAS<br />
<br />
12:58 AM Beta? noises continue. that or velociraptors. maybe both. I really don't want to know at this point. hopefully they don't see their shadow or there'll be 4 more weeks of flunk day waiting!<br />
<br />
4:20 am campus safety taking a nap in founders! must be resting up so he can get his flunk on in a couple hours?<br />
<br />
== April 19th ==<br />
<br />
ZERO EVENTS ON THE CALENDAR: [http://imgur.com/lteL6] <--- False: That is the performance of an Honors Project as well as the middle of Greek Week. <--- easiest Greek Week event ever!!!! It MUST be Flunk Day!!!<---It doesn't matter when Greek Week is, Flunk day has no limitations! Flunk Day is April 19th<---This could be HUGE!<---That's what she said. <- CONFIRMED. SHE DID IN FACT SAY THAT. <br />
<br />
20th is admitted student day -- Amott won't want a Flunked up campus for Friday. <----- Campus is pretty good at cleaning up. Other than the mudpit [which is permanently scarred into the quads. That is, IF IT GETS BUILT], there are few remnants of Flunk Day the day after flunk. <-- broken beer bottles, mud everywhere, hungover students, garbage, messed up lawn, vomit, broken walls/windows/toilets, etc... sooo easy to clean up @_@. your logic is not at all sound. <- CONFIRMED. LOGIC NOT SOUND. NO FLUNK DAY UNTIL AFTER ADMITTED STUDENTS DAY<br />
<br />
Jil Gates was reportedly off campus, all day on Tuesday, April 17th. Could she be meeting with Flunk Day services? Be prepared to Flunk!!<br />
<br />
2:30 PM Regina and Kaitlyn spotted in te campus life office. <-maybe because it's their job. derp. ex: OMG LOLZ CAMPUS SAFETY SPOTTED AT CAMPUS SAFETY!!!!! WHATEVER SHALL WE DO??!?? <br />
<br />
5:03 PM: Jil Gates and Kaitlyn were in the Campus Life office with the main office closed- secret Flunk plans in the works.... FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW!!! <- FALSE. <br />
<br />
8:33 PM: Kaitlyn has a meeting at 9. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW. (Or possibly Monday?) <- CONFIRMED, FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY. Or maybe tomorrow... a prospie last week said they thought about coming to the admitted students day on Friday, so I'm pretty sure there legitimately is one. In that case it definitely WON'T be the 19th or 20th<br />
<br />
I work in the kitchen and one of the freezers I usually get food out of was locked today. This freezer is never locked! IT'S FLUNCK DAY FOOD! <- the fact that it's in the *freezer* supports the argument that "flunck" day is next Monday.<br />
<br />
Maintenance worker said he was looking forward to his "F-word" holiday either Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday of next week. It's happening.<br />
<br />
Liz Oatney seen on the Gizmo patio....MUST be flunk day on Monday.<br />
<br />
== April 20th ==<br />
Email sent at 6.21 this morning:<br />
"MYTH: The Final Flunk cannot happen on a Friday<br />
<br />
FACT: The Final Flunk can happen at any time on any day; yet those who predict the final flunk are all in agreement that it has to be a weekday."<br />
<br />
Is Jill Gates trying to throw us off!?! By so obviously hinting that it will be a Friday, will students assume that it is too clear to actually be a Friday? And therefore, making a Friday Final Flunk Extravaganza a MEGA SURPRISE?!<br />
<br />
This also could apply to April 27th.<br />
<br />
This is an admitted students day. There is no way Flunk Day will be today or Thursday. <--- It would be kind of funny for the admitted students to see campus all FLUNKed up, don't you think? Poor tourguides. "On our right you see students vomiting in the mudpit...."<br />
<br />
It's a good thing Flunk Day wasn't today. People would have died.<br />
<br />
[[File:Example.jpg]]<br />
<br />
== April 23rd ==<br />
<br />
Get your specs on youngins cuz Flunk Day’s a comin! We’ve survived both Admitted Student Days and now it’s time to gear up for el Dia de Flunk. All signs point to THIS WEEK being optimal Flunk territory: we’ve kicked out the prospies and next week is right before Teresa Amott’s big day (don’t wanna flunk up campus right before all the alums get here). SO! It’s time to start seriously scouting for FLUNK DAY CLUES:<br />
<br />
Any suspicious activity around campus, and I mean any! Nothing is too innocuous to avoid notice and the immediate update of the WikiFire.<br />
<br />
Are the seniors acting weird? Keep an eye on those guys; they’ll try to throw you for a loop!<br />
<br />
What’s happening around Seymour Union? Lights on at odd hours, movement in the mailroom, strange comings and goings? REPORT ALL TO THE WIKIFIRE!<br />
<br />
If you have a car, take it for a spin during the wee hours of the morning. A big indicator this year will be the “mystery performance” of incalculable size. The bigger the show, the harder it is to hide! Look signs of impending ROCK.<br />
<br />
FINALLY, never take your eyes of those illustrious Flunk Day Planners! They know all…and they may let something slip. Be vigilant and may the odds be ever in your favor!<br />
<br />
<br />
I work in the kitchen, and my supervisor told me that Flunk Day was going to be this week! <- CONFIRMED <- FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY<br />
<br />
definitely flunk day.<br />
<br />
FLUNK ALL THE THINGS!!!! <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
John Spittell moved a midterm from this week to next week... granted it was supposed to take place on Friday, but still. He KNOWS flunk day will be this week, and Monday is the most probable day for the flunkage. <-CONFIRMED. DEFINITELY FLUNK DAY. <--- Our greek midterm was moved back to the end of the week when it was supposed to be tomorrow too. Our professor told us it was specifically because the huge probability for flunk day being in the next day or two.<br />
<br />
flunkflunkflunkflunkflunkflunk<br />
<br />
Jack Moore and Regina are both in Chicago this weekend on "personal" vacations. Very suspicious <-- not really, because they're both from Chicago. #idiot<---S my D. Freshmen<-- confirmed that Jack went home, but Regina is cozy in her suite. <--Definitely Flunk Day tomorrow. Last year the planners went "out of town" right before flunk day. <--CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Flunk day probably won't be on a Monday- it has been on a Monday for the past two years.<-- THEY'RE STATISTICALLY INDEPENDENT!<br />
<br />
Last year, Flunk Day was the Monday after Senate Finance Committee did next year's club budgets all weekend. Finance Committee is doing budgets this weekend. Flunk?<br />
<br />
Conger/Neal you NEED to dig the mudpit tonight. No excuses. That includes you Abe Eastman. <--- mudpit is dug? <-- have everyone in your suite donate a few bucks and go to Walmart and buy a few bags of topsoil. THIS IS ESSENTIAL. The mudpit will not be successful unless there is extra "mud" added to it. <--- enlist the help of Sigma Chi! They are SUPER helpful. <--- Actually, just enlist the help of Joe Rogers. The rest of them are lazy fucks. <--- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
According to a trusted source (a professor), Flunk day will be either today or tomorrow. <---Professors are always a trustworthy source of flunk day information <--- Not. <---Professors don't know when flunk day is...except for Jon Wagner, the secret is hidden behind his impenetrable eyelids.<br />
<br />
I work at the Gizmo and Linda thinks it might be Monday! <-- CONFIRMED! Linda knows EVERYTHING <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn is at Red Robin drinking margaritas. Flunk Day must be Monday!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
Hey nerds, the mud pit is bigger than it was last year. Slow your roll. <-- THIS IS HUGE!<br />
<br />
P.S. We know the mudpit is the only good part about flunk day.<br />
<br />
Where are the planners?! Jack? Regina? Kaitlyn? updates people, updates. --> Regina seen walking to the Kappa house at approx. 9 pm<br />
<br />
absolutely ZERO events on the calendar... el dia de flunk? <-- There are 0 events for the next 3 days. Can't rule out Tuesday and Wednesday for this piece of evidence.<br />
<br />
Vince Rug seen filling up water balloons in his kitchen.<--Confirmed.<--He is also a suspected secret flunk day planner.<br />
<br />
Gizmo workers were overheard saying that the Flunk Day food shipment hasn't even arrived yet. <---false. Multiple sources have confirmed the presence of the nutritious flunk day food<br />
<br />
This entire section of the page just vanished from the Wiki Fire for five minutes. Perhaps the planners trying to cover something up? THIS COULD BE HUGE. <----- CONFIRMED!! suspicious for sure<br />
<br />
NOW THERE ARE TWO! <---- CONFIRMED!!! That's double the chances! <-- flunk day is on april 23 for sure <- THIS COULD BE HUGE<---Now there are 23 copies of "April 23rd"...FLUNK DAY!!!!<br />
<br />
ALL THE DATES ARE APRIL 23! Scare or clue?<br />
<br />
ASHLEY IS HOSTING A PROSPECTIVE STUDENT TONIGHT IN THE ADMISSION'S SUITE......SORRY BUT IT CANNOT BE FLUNK DAY! <---Actually prospective students have been here on past flunk days. THE FLUNK IS STILL ON!!!!<----well that would sure suck for the admission's host.....<--Yeah can anyone confirm if this has happened before?<<<<< Ashley and all others hosting prospies were sent an email and text to bring their prospies to the admissions office before "engaging" in FLUNK activities. THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<CONFIRMED<---- Proof? Pics or it didn't happen<br />
<br />
Current moon phase- Waxing Crescent: http://www.calculatorcat.com/moon_phases/phasenow.php TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY <---THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
8:25pm: large rv (tour bus??) seen leaving hyvee parking lot and getting on the freeway toward moline...could it be our mystery performer checkin out the burg before heading to their hotel?? <--- Confirmed! A roadie was seen chasing after the bus shouting "wait for me guys!" He also may or may not have been dressed up as Doctor Doom.<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling"casually" stopping by Regina's room. Last minute Flunk planning?<-----pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
Squirrels heard conversing about Flunk Day preparations and training their young about alcohol awareness. Little known fact: Squirrels are sent a memo with the date of Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
8:30pm - Kaitlyn Duling seen purchasing multiple treats in the c-store, including 2 bags of cheese popcorn, trolli gummy worms, ben and jerry's ice cream, altoids, trident gum, and a banana. Flunk treats? I think YES.<-- CONFIRMED. IT LOOKED DELICIOUS. <--- She also had blisters on her feet. Probably from running around planning for tomorrow... <-- Does she need any band-aids?<br />
<br />
8:30pm: silver car pulled over by SMC.. Could this be fulfulling Flunk day prophesy? <---PROPHESY FULFILLED! OUR DESTINY CANNOT BE REVERSED! FLUUUNK DAAAAAY!!!!<br />
<br />
8:50 pm: Helmut seen hurrying into Seymour. <--- The end is near.. <-- Can anyone confirm? Where is his car?<---He drives a red Mazda Miata.<br />
<br />
8:54 pm: Founders is a buzz with Flunk Fever!!<br />
<br />
8:59 pm: "2012" is on FX. Pre-Final Flunk celebration? <---- Inception is on HBO could this be a flunk within a flunk. prepare your totem.<br />
<br />
9:01 pm: ☯ k®♎∆§µ∆w♬ ☯ ︻╦╤─ <br />
<br />
9:03- NONE of the seniors are doing their homework, if Facebook is any indication. FLUNK DAAAY<---that's a symptom of being a senior<br />
<br />
ALOCHOL <--Typo. Must be drunk already. Flunk Day is tomorrow! <--- I MEANT WHAT I SAID. AL-O-CHOL.<br />
<br />
<br />
No admitted students are signed up for visits in Monday. They are a lot on scheduled Wednesday and they are legitimate. <-- FALSE. There are 3 students for Monday, 1 for Tuesday, and 8 for Wednesday. <-- I guess admitted students are going to see inebriated college students, then. <--- FALSE. There are NO ADMITTED STUDENTS LEFT. <-- There are visitors almost every day of the week year-round, whether they are admitted students coming back to audition or meet with professors, or high school juniors getting ahead on their college search. <-- IT IS THE FINAL FLUNK. NO ONE WILL BE LEFT. <---- SO WISEEEEEE<br />
<br />
9:43- The C-store is pretty much out of Coke, but there are tons of cartons of eggs.<br />
<br />
9:47 - IT IS TOMORROW HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--care to share why? <--- CARE TO HAVE FAITH? <---Because the more exclamation points you use, the more likely it becomes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- False. More exclamations points means that there it is most likely someone planning a scare <----- YOURE A SCARE! <--"Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind"-Terry Pratchett<br />
<br />
- Terry Pratchett.<br />
<br />
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
9:58 - BARRED OWL. Two conversing <---- CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
10:00pm I can't reveal more details, because it has the potential to get me and my co-workers/bosses in trouble, but there have been some very mysterious goings-on in the Admissions Office.<--- PROOF?!?<br />
<br />
10:01 - Jim Mountjoy left for town. First time in two weeks. FLUNK DAY. <-- A past Greek Oaks person confirmed that the Professors leave Green Oaks for Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
10:11 - Too many exclamation marks on the WikiFire. FLUNK DAY!<br />
<br />
maybe flunk day is just the end of the world<br />
<br />
Kaitlyn Duling just took her vitamins. Gearing up for the big day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
10:08pm- Suspected friar seen hurrying to her apartment carrying a large bag of alcohol. Friars are getting ready! THE END IS NEAR!<br />
<br />
10:05 PM Andrei Papancea was on the phone with Kaitlyn, hung up and whispered to Amanda G that tomorrow is Flunk Day<br />
<br />
10:13- Emily Young seen eating Pizza Rolls in bed. <--THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED SHE'S STILL EATING THEM!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
10:14 Rob Smith just sent an email attachment with the readings for WEDNESDAY....he usually passes them out in class which would be tomorrow.....THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
Get your shit together Knox, no more stupid posts about people that don't matter. <-- EVERYONE MATTERS TO SOMEONE. <-- How can you be mean to Emily Young??? She's so wonderful!<br />
<br />
<br />
People gettin' mean on the Wikifire. WHY CANT WE JUST ALL GET ALONG?! FOR THE FLUNK?! INTERROBANG?! <- the end is near, sometimes people need to be mean. <-- There's never any excuse for being mean<br />
<br />
" I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy" <---THE POSTER DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE <-CONFIRMED. POSTER GOES TO MONMOUTH.<br />
<br />
I'm sick and don't want to do my homework FLUNK DAY IS MONDAY!<br />
<br />
Lights on in the Union Board office..... <-- Pictures? <-- FEAST YER EYES http://i.imgur.com/vUPcb.jpg<br />
<br />
10:28 Betas seen on the porch, bagging windows and making loud noises... its flunk day tomorrow <--That is just Beta being Beta. Don't panic.<<<<<< Sources show that betas know the night before because one of the betas have family connections to administration and the school. It has happened the past 2 years that the betas party the night before but keep it quiet so they can be drunk rowdy assholes all day.<<<<<<CONFIRMED.<<<<<Cale Dahm, Senior at beta, says "What the flunk is that smell?" [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/eb5yxg.jpg[/IMG]<<<< AND TWO BETAS LIKE IT! THIS COULD BE HUGE!<br />
<br />
10:42 Multiple seniors seen at Walmart stocking up on various supplies<br />
<br />
10:45 Laundry room in Williston almost empty, save for one running dryer. Clean clothes soon to be soiled by the mud pit? <---This could be HUGE!!!!!! Break out your flunk day stash boys and girls, its flunking time!<br />
<br />
10:53 Just finished a 15 page assignment due tomorrow. It's DEFINITELY flunk day. Bring on the shots.<br />
<br />
11:00pm KITCHEN LIGHTS ON:<br />
<br />
-As seen from the outside the caf (note the lights above the buffet -- these aren't usually on) http://i.imgur.com/HwkbV.jpg<br />
-As seen from outside the oak room: http://i.imgur.com/S9DSt.jpg<br />
-As seen from between the doors to the Lincoln Room: http://i.imgur.com/r0YwD.jpg <---CONFIRMED! THEY ARE SO ON! THIS IS HUGE!<br />
<br />
11:00pm STAGE LEFT (on the lawn) http://i.imgur.com/Ycf1i.jpg <--- Holy shit, this picture sucks.<br />
<br />
11:00pm DOORS TO MAIL ROOM STILL OPEN (they are usually closed by now) http://i.imgur.com/bR1x1.jpg <---And the papers are off the windows!!Are they trying to throw us off the scent?<br />
<br />
11:22 PM LIZ WOODYARD AND CHRIS JOHNSON ARE OVER 9000% SURE ITS FLUNK DAY<------FLUNK LIASON TO ALUMNI<---------CONFIRMED <-neither of them are drinking tonight because they think it's flunk day tomorrow. I don't know what further proof anyone needs. <- CONFIRMED. <- DOUBLE CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Remember that glittery red face stuff they had in a box in the gallery? Pre-Flunk gift. They want us sparkly as hell for the big day! <--- false. it was from Galesburg HS's Prom. <-- But why share if it's not in support of Flunk Day festivities?<br />
<br />
11:35pm 2 fratboys just walked by our window and saying they can't wait for flunk day.. are they in the know? That's...I don't even.<br />
<br />
11:30 Kaitlyn Duling updated her timeline photo to a FLUNK DAY PICTURE!<-- CONFIRMED! Is she telling us something or is it tomfoolery? <--- DOUBLE CONFIRMED http://i.imgur.com/Annra.jpg <----CONFIRMEDx3 Kaitlyn loves tomfoolery <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
<br />
11:41 My mom claims that she hasn't gotten any emails. I told her to stop trolling. http://postimage.org/image/sibdm55aj/<br />
<br />
Straight off of Facebook: "Charlotte Garvin and 24 other friends changed their profile pictures." - Definitely Flunk day! <--- who cares she's a sophomore<br />
<br />
Speculating that the seniors are trolling us. This is happening way to early... <--- AGREED! We'll all be horribly let down when it isn't flunk day!<br />
<br />
11:44 The Union Board office lights are still on.. and its a Sunday night.. Flunk Day tomorrow?<br />
<br />
11:47 Conger-Neal kids filling up trashcan with water for mudpit <--Pics? isnt it a little early? <--- It's never too early to start on the mudpit, it should have been done weeks ago!<br />
<br />
At 10:59 pm Gregg Lewis sent an email to his voice student saying he was moving studio class tomorrow to friday. He said he would only move the class for FLUNK DAY. <-- And for the mandatory rehearsals for his out-of-town gig. Gregg doesn't know when Flunk Day is, and if he did, he probably wouldn't even realize he had a studio class scheduled for the same day.<br />
<br />
11:45 pm: Just checked all the campus parking lots (and I mean ALL OF THE PARKINGZ) and there was no sign of Helmut's convertible. <----two years ago he was dropped off and his car was not on campus <--- I searched also. I suspect he was dropped off.<br />
<br />
11:50pm: Kaitlyn Duling: If you can make Flunk Day not tomorrow, I will personally buy you band aids for your feet. I will find the same ones Bieber puts on his fingers. http://www.vulture.com/2010/09/justin_bieber_wears_band_aids.html <----Kaitlyn does love Bieber. Possible mystery flunk performer!? <--- I really hope it's not Bieber, I'd rather jump into shark-infested waters during a feeding frenzy<br />
<br />
12:03 AM: The mail server is down! Clearly a conspiracy to indicate they are preparing the flunk day email...<--CONFIRMED <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <--No one reads Steve Hall's emails. <--CONFIRMED <--- BUT WE DIDN'T GET A WARNING ABOUT SYSTEM MAINTENANCE! HE ALWAYS SENDS THOSE! <--[http://www.knox.edu/offices-and-services/information-technology-services/help-desk-support/news-and-alerts.html Check it out], email migration started at midnight.<br />
<br />
12:27 AM: STOP DELETING THIS DAY<br />
<br />
12:29 AM: XKCD updated and it's about the end of the world. Obviously, tomorrow's Flunk Day: http://xkcd.com/1046/<br />
<br />
12:33 AM: Seniors holding mystery meeting at Cherry Street tonight? Can someone confirm? <--- Confirmed that they're fucking with us! Cherry Street is closed! <---- LOL! Now the Seniors know how much it sucks to fuck with the underclassmen! <br />
<br />
12:35am: Seniors are aware !!! TOMORROW (or today) <b>IS NOT FLUNK DAY!</b> <---- planning a scare DOES NOT mean that they KNOW flunk day is not tomorrow. they don't find out this early <----- They planned a scare last year on the real Flunk Day. That doesn't matter. <br />
<br />
12:43 AM: Gizmo calendar next to the register reads '''FLUNK DAY!''' This is clearly a sign that it's Flunk Day. <--- Pics or it didn't happen. <-- http://imgur.com/55377 Had to take it close because crappy phone camera. This could be HUGE <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
12:49 AM: I'm 12 and what is this? <--- What is this I don't even<br />
<br />
1:06 AM: There's something on the calendar about little kids coming to campus to learn languages. Can anyone confirm if this is real? <-- yes they do it in GDH every Monday<br />
<br />
1:20 AM: 40 seniors were pranked (?) into thinking that they were friars. Phone number is based in North Carolina and the only two people that are from NC are Clarke Cuthbert (no longer going to Knox) and Krista Nordgren, both seniors. <---Can't forget Rachel L.!<br />
<br />
1:57am-Rumor is the friar emails just went out!! Can someone confirm this? <---Server is up, but emails are probably a hoax. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
1:59 am: Silly Bands are on all of Seymour 3A's doors IT IS FUCKING FLUNK DAY<--What's a silly band and what does this mean??? <<-- Pictures, man, PICTURES! We crave sensible evidence! <----- [[File:Photo_on_2012-04-23_at_02.14.jpg]] ON ALL OF 3A's door knobs but not 3B WHYYYY???<br />
<br />
2:26 AM: It's Clint Davis's birthday today! Clearly this is a conspiracy and it has to be Flunk Day in honor of the coolest guy on campus. Happy Birthday Clint!<br />
<br />
2:34 AM: Server is down again.<br />
<br />
2:49am- There seems to be some activity around Tompkins apartments. Doesn't Jil live there? <- CONFIRMED!<br />
<br />
3:12 AM- Javier and Teresa were spotted by the train tracks hitting Javier's four-footer. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<br />
<br />
== April 24th ==<br />
Everything disappeared because the final flunk is April 23rd, there is no April 24th. The world will end after the final flunk!!! So line up the shots, break into your stash, jump in the mud pit and flunking have a flunking fun flunk day!!!<br />
<br />
No promise that the 23rd is flunk day but if it isn't we will have to wait until at least Wednesday as there are home softball games on Tuesday. Confirmation on opponents schedule: http://www.mac.edu/athletics/softball/scores.asp <-- Athletic events can be fake. And even if this one isn't, Flunk Day has flunked up athletic events in the past. <--- Flunk Day has occurred on days where there have been away sporting events, not any home ones though. And this ISN'T fake. That was the point in showing the opponents schedule, MacMurray would not put it on their website if it were not actually going to occur.<br />
<br />
== April 25th ==<br />
Zazen meditation is the only event on the calendar. Is it Flunk or is it foolery?<br />
<br />
They added a photo exhibit to the schedule, but it's at the Civic Art Center. Trying to throw us off the scent of Flunk?<br />
<br />
Sam Martone's official prediction says sam martone sucks. So he obviously does <--CONFIRMED <-- DOUBLE CONFIRMED <--THIS COULD BE HUGE<br />
<br />
This is definitely the day of flunk just going on a whim here<br />
<br />
If this isn't the sanctioned date of Flunk Day, the school should revolt and flunk anyways. No more scares. GIVE US THE FINAL FLUNK!<br />
<br />
Debbie Southern cancelled an important weekly meeting because the 25th is Secretary's Day... A lame cover-up if you ask me.<br />
<br />
Today is Flunk Day. Yep.<br />
<br />
The suspected musical guest is Gym Class Heroes. On their tour they are in Macomb on the 23rd and then in NY on the 28th. Why the break? FLUNK DAY OF COURSE. <--- Bands take breaks on tour for any variety of reasons. There are also gaps like this in their schedule for May, too. <--- We all know bands always have gaps in their tour schedules. Clearly the original poster doesn't mean they're taking a break FOR flunk day, just that there's always the option that they can be here...<br />
<br />
<br />
There are fifteen prospies coming Wednesday, so today is probably notttt the day. 5 of them are due to stay overnight also. <--- prove it. FLUUUNK DAY BETCHES! <--- Admissions has been known to make-up prospects to visit on flunk day so this is just more evidence that this IS flunk day<br />
<br />
== April 26th ==<br />
<br />
Are the softball games real? I don't see them on Robert Morris's schedule... http://www.robertmorris.edu/athletics/womenssoftball/schedule/<br />
<br />
The previous link is to the schedule for Robert Morris's Chicago campus' team...This is to the Springfield campus confirming the softball games...http://www.robertmorris.edu/athletics/womenssoftball/springfield/schedule/<br />
<br />
== April 27th ==<br />
If FlunkFood was delivered Monday, April 16th, this would be the last day to serve fresh food. <--- since when does the caf serve us fresh food?<br />
<br />
== May 1st ==<br />
Another conspicuous day of events: Spanish Table, Photo Exhibit, Red Room, and a Family Planning Booth.<br />
The Chicago Knox Club Alumni Relations proclaims May first as Flunk Day<br />
<br />
== May 2nd ==<br />
Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
Guys, this was the date of Flunk Day last year. They wouldn't do it on the exact same day twice in a row... or would they? <----CONFIRMED they would!<br />
<br />
== May 8th ==<br />
What are these fake showcases? Will they wait until Teresa is officially our President to bring the flunk? <---yes! there is too much planning that goes into events like the installation to flunk it up with Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
May 8th is the perfect Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== May 9th ==<br />
Once again, only meditation..is it too late for flunk? <---It is never too late for FLUNK. When will you people learn. Goddamn it!!! There is no hope for this world if you can't wrap your infant like brain around this!<br />
<br />
Arnold Salgado wishes for this day to be flunk day! => so too does one Johnathan Powers! or it is at least his speculation of the final flunk...<br />
<br />
== May 10th ==<br />
Another "showcase" or flunk?? <--Showcase CANCELED! THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<--COnfirmed. Does the obvious "CANCELLED" label instead of removal mean something?<br />
<br />
Playwright's Workshop was added to the calendar, but if they waited that long to send it in, it won't FLUNKing matter!<br />
<br />
== December 21 == <br />
<br />
Let's be real guys...the Final Flunk is going to coincide with the actual apocalypse. PREPARE YOURSELVES.</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2012&diff=23591Flunk Day 20122012-04-10T16:47:10Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 11th */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:flunkitup.jpg]]<br />
<br />
Closed due to flooding, but not really.<br />
<br />
Xavier was spotted at several different points this summer by several different anonymous sources. Hopping off a boxcar with several drifters, each holding one of his four-footer (or so) bongs, he was said to have torn his shirt off each time while roaring, "FLUUUUUUUNK!" Flunk day is definitely the first day of school.<br />
<br />
Xavier is clearly behind all this unseasonably warm weather we've been having. Flunk Day will be earlier than ever this year as a result!!!<br />
<br />
February 20th:<br />
Debbie Southern says flunk day season starts in March at an ASAP meeting. THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
The weeks of April 23-27 and April 30- May 4 are the weeks of pre-enrollment but this does not necessarily mean that flunk day will not be in those two weeks. These weeks are the most common weeks for flunk day historically.<br />
<br />
The timing of pre-enrollment is irrelevant. Don't even bother looking at the calendar, kids. It won't give you any hints.<br />
<br />
Relevant historical irrelevance is irrelevant to the laws determining the laws predicting flunk day, which is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Wednesday, March 21 is the first day of spring term classes. Wednesday, March 21 is also flunk day. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Flunk day is not on May 17th, however, Flunk Day is May 17th.<br />
<br />
So, the theme of Flunk Day is The Final Flunk, right. Because the end of the world is supposed to happen in this year of 2012. Wouldn't it be just so clever, then, if this year marked the end of Flunk Day as well? As in, no Flunk Day? As in, the rumors that Flunk Day doesn't exist finally come true? THIS COULD BE HUGE. Also, everyone knows [[Teresa Amott]] DOESN'T LIKE FLUNK DAY! <br />
<br />
At 2:24 on March 28, J-Pow predicted Flunk Day would be May 9. That's economics. <-- Furthermore, the Art Dept. is having their once-a-term field trip to the Art Institute of Chicago. So many students will already be excused from classes. Would this not be perfect timing?<br />
<br />
Cody Dailey is currently finalizing his Flunk Day prediction. This could be HUGE.<br />
<br />
Where is the "official email" for Flunk season? --An email regarding "policies and rules" was sent out on April 18 last year.<br />
<br />
At 11:53 on April 4, the official Flunk Day email is sent out. Obviously Flunk Day is TOMORROW! --> It was a particularly classy Flunk Day e-mail and included pictures and bullet points. Maybe they think if they illustrate Flunk Day they can convince us it already happened? <br />
-----> early flunk day email + summer in march = EARLIEST FLUNK DAY IN HISTORY. <br />
<br />
READ THIS: Admitted Student Days are April 13 and April 20. Flunk day fucks up campus and thus will not happen before all of the precious prospies come to visit. <br />
<br />
Any clue who the planners are this year? <br />
<br />
==April 5th ==<br />
<br />
Flunk day shirts are here. Union Board is selling them AFTER Flunk Day because Flunk Day is tomorrow!<br />
<br />
Jack Moore seen being really tall <---THIS COULD BE HUGE! <---Rumor: Jack Moore is "huge." <---MMhmm. CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
Debbie Southern heard chatting with Jil Gates before Flunk Day email was sent out about how it would "catch them off guard."<br />
<br />
Spotted: JPow walking across the gizmo patio saying how he's "ready for flunk day".<br />
<br />
It isn't even April 5th yet guys... <---FLUNK DAY HAS NO BOUNDARIES, rookie mistake. Wait, so you can see into the future?<br />
<br />
Today is Wednesday, but it's almost over, which means it's almost Thursday. Therefore, it's almost Friday. So Flunk Day will be tomorrow.<br />
<br />
looks like he's taking a break from hunting vampires... ABE IS IN THE HOUSE!!! <--- This could be HUGE!! can someone confirm?! <---I have visual confirmation!! <--- Pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
== April 6th == <br />
Students saw a clown in a car, driving through Illinois. Obviously, Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8th ==<br />
11:54pm seniors are seen leaving Hamblin, exclaiming "we need to get our stash PRONTO!"<br />
<br />
== April 9th ==<br />
Two people seen digging in the mud pitt!!! Somebody please confirm this!!! <---CONFIRMED. Ladies and gents, start your flunk engines.<br />
<br />
== April 10th == <br />
There's a baseball game on the schedule for 6:30 PM. Our field doesn't have lights. Interesting.<br />
<br />
The game is at Galesburg High School, they have lights CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
All this talk of people digging the mud pit is false. Get on that, quads.<br />
<br />
== April 11th ==<br />
Proof:[[Media:FlunkDay2012isonApril11th.jpeg]] <-- CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
== April 13th ==<br />
Could the flunkopalypse be coming on Friday the 13th?!?! Prospies are supposed to be here but it could just be the most bad ass open house of all time. <br />
<br />
== April 19th ==<br />
<br />
ZERO EVENTS ON THE CALENDAR: [http://imgur.com/lteL6] <--- False: That is the performance of an Honors Project as well as the middle of Greek Week. <--- easiest Greek Week event ever!!!! It MUST be Flunk Day!!!<---It doesn't matter when Greek Week is, Flunk day has no limitations! Flunk Day is April 19th<---This could be HUGE!<---That's what she said.<br />
<br />
== April 25th ==<br />
Zazen meditation is the only event on the calendar. Is it Flunk or is it foolery?<br />
<br />
<br />
== May 2nd ==<br />
Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
Guys, this was the date of Flunk Day last year. They wouldn't do it on the exact same day twice in a row... or would they? <----CONFIRMED they would!<br />
<br />
== May 8th ==<br />
What are these fake showcases? Will they wait until Teresa is officially our President to bring the flunk? <---yes! there is too much planning that goes into events like the installation to flunk it up with Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
May 8th is the perfect Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== May 9th ==<br />
Once again, only meditation..is it too late for flunk?<br />
<br />
== May 10th ==<br />
Another "showcase" or flunk??<br />
<br />
Ppl seen digging mud pit! Flunk Day is totes tomorrow!</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2012&diff=23590Flunk Day 20122012-04-10T16:45:50Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* April 10th */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[File:flunkitup.jpg]]<br />
<br />
Closed due to flooding, but not really.<br />
<br />
Xavier was spotted at several different points this summer by several different anonymous sources. Hopping off a boxcar with several drifters, each holding one of his four-footer (or so) bongs, he was said to have torn his shirt off each time while roaring, "FLUUUUUUUNK!" Flunk day is definitely the first day of school.<br />
<br />
Xavier is clearly behind all this unseasonably warm weather we've been having. Flunk Day will be earlier than ever this year as a result!!!<br />
<br />
February 20th:<br />
Debbie Southern says flunk day season starts in March at an ASAP meeting. THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!<br />
<br />
The weeks of April 23-27 and April 30- May 4 are the weeks of pre-enrollment but this does not necessarily mean that flunk day will not be in those two weeks. These weeks are the most common weeks for flunk day historically.<br />
<br />
The timing of pre-enrollment is irrelevant. Don't even bother looking at the calendar, kids. It won't give you any hints.<br />
<br />
Relevant historical irrelevance is irrelevant to the laws determining the laws predicting flunk day, which is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Wednesday, March 21 is the first day of spring term classes. Wednesday, March 21 is also flunk day. <--CONFIRMED<br />
<br />
Flunk day is not on May 17th, however, Flunk Day is May 17th.<br />
<br />
So, the theme of Flunk Day is The Final Flunk, right. Because the end of the world is supposed to happen in this year of 2012. Wouldn't it be just so clever, then, if this year marked the end of Flunk Day as well? As in, no Flunk Day? As in, the rumors that Flunk Day doesn't exist finally come true? THIS COULD BE HUGE. Also, everyone knows [[Teresa Amott]] DOESN'T LIKE FLUNK DAY! <br />
<br />
At 2:24 on March 28, J-Pow predicted Flunk Day would be May 9. That's economics. <-- Furthermore, the Art Dept. is having their once-a-term field trip to the Art Institute of Chicago. So many students will already be excused from classes. Would this not be perfect timing?<br />
<br />
Cody Dailey is currently finalizing his Flunk Day prediction. This could be HUGE.<br />
<br />
Where is the "official email" for Flunk season? --An email regarding "policies and rules" was sent out on April 18 last year.<br />
<br />
At 11:53 on April 4, the official Flunk Day email is sent out. Obviously Flunk Day is TOMORROW! --> It was a particularly classy Flunk Day e-mail and included pictures and bullet points. Maybe they think if they illustrate Flunk Day they can convince us it already happened? <br />
-----> early flunk day email + summer in march = EARLIEST FLUNK DAY IN HISTORY. <br />
<br />
READ THIS: Admitted Student Days are April 13 and April 20. Flunk day fucks up campus and thus will not happen before all of the precious prospies come to visit. <br />
<br />
Any clue who the planners are this year? <br />
<br />
==April 5th ==<br />
<br />
Flunk day shirts are here. Union Board is selling them AFTER Flunk Day because Flunk Day is tomorrow!<br />
<br />
Jack Moore seen being really tall <---THIS COULD BE HUGE! <---Rumor: Jack Moore is "huge." <---MMhmm. CONFIRMED. <br />
<br />
Debbie Southern heard chatting with Jil Gates before Flunk Day email was sent out about how it would "catch them off guard."<br />
<br />
Spotted: JPow walking across the gizmo patio saying how he's "ready for flunk day".<br />
<br />
It isn't even April 5th yet guys... <---FLUNK DAY HAS NO BOUNDARIES, rookie mistake. Wait, so you can see into the future?<br />
<br />
Today is Wednesday, but it's almost over, which means it's almost Thursday. Therefore, it's almost Friday. So Flunk Day will be tomorrow.<br />
<br />
looks like he's taking a break from hunting vampires... ABE IS IN THE HOUSE!!! <--- This could be HUGE!! can someone confirm?! <---I have visual confirmation!! <--- Pics or it didn't happen.<br />
<br />
== April 6th == <br />
Students saw a clown in a car, driving through Illinois. Obviously, Flunk Day is tomorrow.<br />
<br />
== April 8th ==<br />
11:54pm seniors are seen leaving Hamblin, exclaiming "we need to get our stash PRONTO!"<br />
<br />
== April 9th ==<br />
Two people seen digging in the mud pitt!!! Somebody please confirm this!!! <---CONFIRMED. Ladies and gents, start your flunk engines.<br />
<br />
== April 10th == <br />
There's a baseball game on the schedule for 6:30 PM. Our field doesn't have lights. Interesting.<br />
<br />
The game is at Galesburg High School, they have lights CONFIRMED.<br />
<br />
All this talk of people digging the mud pit is false. Get on that, quads.<br />
<br />
== April 11th ==<br />
Proof:[[Media:FlunkDay2012isonApril11th.jpeg]]<br />
<br />
== April 13th ==<br />
Could the flunkopalypse be coming on Friday the 13th?!?! Prospies are supposed to be here but it could just be the most bad ass open house of all time. <br />
<br />
== April 19th ==<br />
<br />
ZERO EVENTS ON THE CALENDAR: [http://imgur.com/lteL6] <--- False: That is the performance of an Honors Project as well as the middle of Greek Week. <--- easiest Greek Week event ever!!!! It MUST be Flunk Day!!!<---It doesn't matter when Greek Week is, Flunk day has no limitations! Flunk Day is April 19th<---This could be HUGE!<---That's what she said.<br />
<br />
== April 25th ==<br />
Zazen meditation is the only event on the calendar. Is it Flunk or is it foolery?<br />
<br />
<br />
== May 2nd ==<br />
Flunk Day!<br />
<br />
Guys, this was the date of Flunk Day last year. They wouldn't do it on the exact same day twice in a row... or would they? <----CONFIRMED they would!<br />
<br />
== May 8th ==<br />
What are these fake showcases? Will they wait until Teresa is officially our President to bring the flunk? <---yes! there is too much planning that goes into events like the installation to flunk it up with Flunk Day. <br />
<br />
May 8th is the perfect Flunk Day.<br />
<br />
== May 9th ==<br />
Once again, only meditation..is it too late for flunk?<br />
<br />
== May 10th ==<br />
Another "showcase" or flunk??<br />
<br />
Ppl seen digging mud pit! Flunk Day is totes tomorrow!</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=John_Perleberg&diff=22729John Perleberg2011-08-18T04:37:24Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:n1152240020_30005483_8290.jpg|thumb|350px|right|John Perleberg will live in [[Neal 1]] next year.]]<br />
<br />
John Perleberg [['10]] is from [[Wichita, Kansas]]. He attended [[high school]] with [[Paige Barnum]]. They are both notable members of the [[Seymour 2]] gang. He studies [[math]] and [[physics]], with which he does all kinds of interesting things, like define god and calculate the outcome of D&D encounters. He claims to be conservative, but he's not a complete fool, so the [[Knox]] community generally tolerates him, despite his propensity towards smoking a pipe and spouting Libertarianisms. He originally had a single in [[Sherwin-Neifert]] but it became obvious that [[Seymour 2]] was his true calling, so he and his dual-monitor watercooled monster moved in for the spring of '07. He was a participant in many of [[Seymour 2]]'s greatest antics, even before living there. His name is commonly prefaced by "Ew." During finals week during Fall term of 2007, he shaved his head on a dare. He thereafter bore a striking resemblance to Lord Voldemort.<br />
<br />
Besides resembling Voldemort when bald, anyone lucky enough to have attended [[Sigma Nu]]'s Star Party during the 2009-2010 school year knows that he can also pull off the villain from the film "The Fifth Element." This also brings up the fact that John was a prominent member of [[Sigma Nu]], and even more prominent on their dance floor. <br />
<br />
He is wonderful. <br />
Sometimes he is Mr. Wonderful.<br />
Other times he is known as The Dancing Queen.<br />
<br />
Since leaving Knox, John Perlberg is best known for registering as a Class B Dungeon Master and teaching children at space camp somewhere how to roll D20's properly. <br />
<br />
== See Also ==<br />
<br />
*[[Neal 1]]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Class of 2010]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Sigma_Nu&diff=22728Sigma Nu2011-08-18T04:27:37Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Snu_Coatofarms.jpg|thumb|right|200px|The Coat of Arms of Sigma Nu]]<br />
'''Sigma Nu''' is so hot right now. So hot right now, '''Sigma Nu'''. '''Sigma Nu''', the honor fraternity, was founded in 1869 at Virginia Military Institute. For 120 years, the Delta Theta chapter at Knox has been a prominent leader in academics, sports, community service. Today, Sigma Nu’s mission continues to develop ethical and honorable leaders of society through the development of the minds, hearts and characters of its members.<br />
<br />
== History in Galesburg ==<br />
The second oldest chapter of a fraternity on the Knox College campus after Beta Theta Pi (1855), Sigma Nu was originally founded as Delta Theta, a local fraternity at nearby Lombard College in 1861. In 1891, Delta Theta became affiliated with the national Sigma Nu Fraternity. The Chapter was allowed to keep Delta Theta as its chapter designation even though it is out of sequence with the other national chapters. It is only one of two Sigma Nu chapters allowed to do this. It is also the oldest continuously running Chapter of Sigma Nu in the world. <br />
<br />
== Reputation ==<br />
<br />
Loved by most, tolerated by others. Hated by none.<br />
<br />
Known to throw great parties, and instigate great heckling, adorable hijinks, and fantastic group dances. <br />
<br />
Always expect greatness. You will receive it.<br />
<br />
Safety first: if you feel unsafe walking home from a social gathering, Sigma Nu brothers will always offer to walk people to their dorms/residences.<br />
<br />
== Chapter House ==<br />
[[Image:Eldiabloverde.jpg|thumb|El Diablo Verde]]<br />
<br />
The Sigma Nu chapter house (or ''''SNouse'''') is located at 556 S. West Street across from the [[Quad]] loading dock. It is the smallest chapter house of any fraternity at Knox by square footage, and shares the lowest housing capacity with [[Sigma Chi]]. <br />
<br />
A notable feature of the chapter house is its unique and somewhat impromptu [[Hookah Room]], also called the Sun Room or Flag Room. Resting precariously above the front deck, the Hookah Room is the house's most famous feature, consisting of a small room filled with couches, giant bean-bags, and cushions. Flags from the countries of its international students decorate the walls, and provide a much better view than the back end of the Quads. It was the lair of the giant, double-bowled, four-hosed [[Snookah]], ''''El Diablo Verde.'''', until a horrible milk-related accident over the summer of 2009 returned the hookah to the maggots. No, for serious. It was nasty.<br />
<br />
Now by the luck of the gods and the kindness of alumni (one in particular), Sigma Nu is graced with another 4 hose [[Snookah]], Justly named "The Basestar" from the chapter's massive indulgence in ''Battlestar Galactica''. It is in a positioned in a fantastic moving table, made by [[ADAM KENT]].<br />
<br />
The Sigma Nu house may be scrappy, but the brothers have put a lot of work into it (no, really, they're working on it all the time). It's full of pleasant surprises, and is considered by many to be the most unique of the fraternity houses. Some views of the house are presented on this page.<br />
[[Image:Drlasersrevenge.JPG|thumb|Dr. Laser's Revenge]]<br />
[[Image:snuhallway.jpg|thumb|Delightfully painted hallway]]<br />
[[Image:wespaint.jpg|thumb|Tastefully positioned paintings]]<br />
[[Image:Westcut.JPG|thumb|Requires no explanation]]<br />
<br />
===Special Rooms in the House===<br />
<br />
The [[Orange Room]]<br />
<br />
The [[Chamba Chamber]]<br />
<br />
[[Doctor Lazer's Office]]<br />
<br />
[[Flag room]]<br />
<br />
''[[Sigma Old|(see also: Sigma Old)]]''<br />
<br />
<br />
* [[History of Sigma Nu Houses]]<br />
<br />
== Leadership ==<br />
===2011-12===<br />
<properties><br />
Eminent Commander=[[Mike Kolbeck]]<br />
Lt. Commander=[[Harrison Graham]]<br />
Treasurer=[[Stefan Feer]]<br />
Recorder=[[Tim Peebles]]<br />
Social Chair=[[Jamie Ruml]]<br />
</properties><br />
<br />
===2010-11===<br />
<properties><br />
Eminent Commander=[[Joe Olvera]]<br />
Lt. Commander=[[Wesley Gunther]]<br />
Treasurer=[[Chris Holland]]<br />
Recorder=[[Andrew Polk]]<br />
Social Chair=[[Muneer Rizvydeen]]<br />
</properties><br />
<br />
===2009-10===<br />
<properties><br />
Eminent Commander=[[Christopher Overton]]<br />
Lt. Commander=[[Lyall Wallerstedt]]<br />
Treasurer=[[Joe Olvera]]<br />
Recorder=[[Sean Frohling]]<br />
Social Chair=[[Rohel Terrazas]]<br />
</properties><br />
<br />
=== 2008-09 ===<br />
<properties><br />
Eminent Commander=[[Matt Hundley]]<br />
Lt. Commander=[[Rohel Terrazas]]<br />
Treasurer=[[Reed Wang]]<br />
Recorder=[[Christopher Overton]]<br />
Social Chair =[[Lyall Wallerstedt]]<br />
</properties><br />
<br />
=== 2007-08 ===<br />
<properties><br />
Eminent Commander=[[Alex Kemmsies]]<br />
Lt. Commander=[[Doug Davison]]<br />
Treasurer=[[Matt Hundley]]<br />
Recorder=[[David Nolan]]<br />
Social Chair =[[Brian C Zhang]]<br />
</properties><br />
<br />
=== 2006-07 ===<br />
<br />
<properties><br />
Eminent Commander=[[Eric Langston]]<br />
Lt. Commander=[[Sean McKittrick]]<br />
Treasurer=[[Andrew Kama]]<br />
Recorder=[[Andy Sheehan]]<br />
</properties><br />
<br />
* [[List of Current and Former Sigma Nus]]<br />
<br />
== Parties ==<br />
While Sigma Nu is an important part of members' social lives, Sigma Nus don't tend to rely as much on the fraternity for their social activities, and have more friends outside of Sigma Nu. As a result, there are typically fewer "unofficial" parties at Sigma Nu. On weekends when there is not a registered party, Sigma Nus will often be seen at other parties around campus, including those of other fraternities.<br />
<br />
There is often [[dancing]], but the dance floor is seldom packed for the entire party. Exceptions occur--the 80s dance party of [[2005-06]] and the [[James Bond Party]] on April 20, 2007 are prime examples of this. However, in light of recent events, Sigma Nu has become a dance center of campus, with its infamous 'Tiny' sound system, as well as new lighting, increasingly better music, and a lot more people.<br />
<br />
Parties throughout the year include "[[Sunrise]]" and "[[Sunset]]" at the beginning and end of the year respectively (formerly "Tequila Sunrise" and "-Sunset"), "[[Sigma Boo]]", a Halloween party, "[[Party With a Heart On]]", a Valentine's Day party, and many others.<br />
<br />
Since Sigma Nu parties are more than just an excuse to get hammered, booty dance, and get laid, people that know SNu generally feel secure that they will not be sexually harassed at a Snu party, and if they are harassed they know that a gaggle of SNus will quickly eject the offending partier. <br />
<br />
Snu parties are the best parties.<br />
Snu parties are the safest parties. <br />
<br />
==[[Shenanigans]] (Snuanigans)==<br />
=== Tunak ===<br />
[[Image:TunakFlunkDay2007.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Sigma Nu and friends do the Tunak Dance on Flunk Day 2007]]<br />
<br />
At some point during a Snu party, now typically at midnight, all members will come to the dance floor to do a ridiculous dance to the equally ridiculous song, ''Tunak Tunak Tun'', by Daler Mehndi. Thanks go out to Brother Akshat Agarwal for introducing to the chapter another means of making completed arses out of ourselves. Though many have attempted to translate the text, we still don't know what we're dancing to...or even why.<br />
<br />
On [[Flunk Day]] Sigma Nus do the ''Tunak'' dance in the middle of West Street in front of their house. However on [[Flunk Day 2007]], a fire truck was in the way, so the SNus and their friends did the ''Tunak'' dance for the firemen.<br />
<br />
On [[Flunk Day 2010]] the Sigma Nus (and assorted guests) attempted their typical Tunak in the street, however, six or more Campus Safety officers approached, so the ritual was moved to the front lawn. [[John Perleberg]] gracefully handled the "situation" and the party continued.<br />
<br />
On [[Flunk Day 2010]] the Sigma Nus attained roughly 4-5 (that they admit to) campus safety reports, making it truly one epic Flunk Day!!!<br />
<br />
Tunak has since been exported to a number of other locations on campus, ususally when 3 or more SNu's get together in one place; music is not required.<br />
<br />
===Sigma Nu:The Band===<br />
Sigma Nu performed Tenacious D's "Explosivo" at the [[Greek Week No-Talent Show]] in 2007. The band included [[Mike Hahn]] on acoustic guitar, [[Alex Enyart]] on electric, [[Rohel Terrazas]] on bass, and [[David Nolan]] playing a [[Guitar Hero]] controller.<br />
<br />
There was a revival of the Sigma Nu band during the 2011 [[Greek Week No-Talent Show]], when [[Cody Ward]] melted the Greek system's face with a blistering Jazz Sax solo.<br />
<br />
<br />
== Inter-fraternity Beef ==<br />
<br />
Sigma Nu doesn't have any beef or rivalry with any of the other fraternities. This is due to the fact that SNus are generally a pretty innocuous group of nice guys that don't start shit. SNu's only hit the Start button.<br />
<br />
[[Sigma Wars]] are an event that oft transpires between the Glorious Sigma Nu's and the not as glorious [[Sigma Chi]]'s. Hijinks, pranks, shenanigans, and finally a bitchin' duel party between Sigma Nu and [[Sigma Chi]] (that we swear will happen eventually). <br />
<br />
== Outside Resources ==<br />
* [http://www.deltathetatimes.org The Official Website of the Delta Theta (Knox) Chapter of Sigma Nu]<br />
* [http://www.sigmanu.org The Official Website of the Sigma Nu Fraternity]<br />
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnPorliRVns Tunak Tunak Tun on You Tube]<br />
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigma_nu The Sigma Nu page on Wikipedia]<br />
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Delta_Theta The Delta Theta Chapter page on Wikipedia]<br />
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im-kNZu7CoM Sigma Nu Until I Die]<br />
<br />
[[Category:Fraternities and sororities]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Gabriela_Sutton&diff=22727Gabriela Sutton2011-08-18T04:09:43Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Gabby.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Isn't FACES great?]]<br />
<br />
You probably don't know her unless you're in choir. If you're in choir, you know when she knows you're out of key, though she isn't quite as good at determining this as [[Edward Davis]] or [[Pier Debes]].<br />
<br />
[[Category:Class of 2012]]<br />
[[Category:Students]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=SPAM&diff=22725SPAM2011-08-18T04:06:28Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: moved Buy strattera 40mg, 10mg, 18mg online - order generic strattera 40mg mastercard - buy generic strattera 18mg on line to SPAM: Because it is.</p>
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<div>This page is also spam.</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=SPAM&diff=22724SPAM2011-08-18T04:05:47Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: Replaced content with "This page is also spam."</p>
<hr />
<div>This page is also spam.</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Chris_Johnson&diff=22723Chris Johnson2011-08-18T04:04:01Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>==The Basics==<br />
Crazy on Guitar Hero. He will laugh maniacally at your steaming corpse after burning it down with his sheer awesomeness.<br />
<br />
Well, probably not. But you get the idea.<br />
<br />
He also goes by a number of aliases. Most know him as Mittens, but a few reliable sources have been overheard calling him by various and sundry initials that all seem to terminate in "MF". [[SWAMF]] and [[CMF]] are among them.<br />
<br />
Also a member of [[Sigma Nu]]. <br />
<br />
==Chris is better than you==<br />
After finishing his Honors Project during the 2010-2011 school year, Chris went on to the MIT PhD program. Knox campus cried both out of missing Chris and incredible jealousy. <br />
<br />
[[Category:Class of 2011]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Chris_Johnson&diff=22722Chris Johnson2011-08-18T04:03:14Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>=The Basics=<br />
Crazy on Guitar Hero. He will laugh maniacally at your steaming corpse after burning it down with his sheer awesomeness.<br />
<br />
Well, probably not. But you get the idea.<br />
<br />
He also goes by a number of aliases. Most know him as Mittens, but a few reliable sources have been overheard calling him by various and sundry initials that all seem to terminate in "MF". [[SWAMF]] and [[CMF]] are among them.<br />
<br />
Also a member of [[Sigma Nu]]. <br />
<br />
=Chris is better than you=<br />
After finishing his Honors Project during the 2010-2011 school year, Chris went on to the MIT PhD program. Knox campus cried both out of missing Chris and incredible jealousy. <br />
<br />
[[Category:Class of 2011]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Gabriela_Sutton&diff=22721Gabriela Sutton2011-08-18T03:57:03Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>[[Image:Gabby.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Isn't FACES great?]]<br />
<br />
You probably don't know her unless you're in choir. If you're in choir, you know when she knows you're out of key, though she isn't quite as good at determining this as [[Edward Davis]] or [[Pier Debes]].</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Gabriela_Sutton&diff=22718Gabriela Sutton2011-08-18T03:48:20Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: Created page with " You probably don't know her unless you're in choir. If you're in choir, you know when she knows you're out of key, though she isn't quite as good at this as Edward Davis or ..."</p>
<hr />
<div><br />
You probably don't know her unless you're in choir. If you're in choir, you know when she knows you're out of key, though she isn't quite as good at this as [[Edward Davis]] or [[Pier Debes]].</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=File:Gabby.jpg&diff=22717File:Gabby.jpg2011-08-18T03:38:10Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: Gabby Sutton's FACES picture.</p>
<hr />
<div>Gabby Sutton's FACES picture.</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Miles_Reisbach&diff=22716Miles Reisbach2011-08-18T02:59:02Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
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<div>Hipster Hipster hipster hipster hipster HIIIPPPPSSSSTTTTEEEERRRRRR.<br />
<br />
Known for his infamous "slow blink" as well as his Knox College quality DJ skills. <br />
<br />
[[Category:Class of 2013]]<br />
[[Category:Students]]</div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Knox_Survival_Guide&diff=22702Knox Survival Guide2011-08-16T21:00:00Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: /* Administration */</p>
<hr />
<div>{| align="right"<br />
| __TOC__<br />
|}<br />
Welcome to the '''Knox Survival Guide''', your portal to necessary information about "making it" at [[Knox College]]. Some of this you will learn during [[Orientation Survival Guide|Freshman Orientation]]. Some of it you won't.<br />
<br />
==Overview==<br />
<br />
It would perhaps be most useful to get some basic bearing on where you are and why you are there, and who all these people are around you. It's good to be a quick study.<br />
<br />
To start off with the most painfully obvious, [[Knox]] is a small [[liberal arts college]] located in [[Western Illinois]], which is part of the [[Midwest]]. There are 1392 [[students]]. <ref>[http://www.knox.edu/x700.xml Knox Fast Facts]</ref> And you are stuck here for what may seem like an extraordinarily long time, about as long as a [[President of the United States of America|presidential administration]]. Added to them are several dozen members of the [[faculty]] and a number of [[staff]], both [[Administration|administrative]] and rank-and-file. The town of [[Galesburg]] is home to around 33,000 [[people]] and a fluctuating number of [[train]]s. The trains will undoubtedly be one of the first things you notice, and you will notice them several times an hour for several months, until you don't even notice them anymore. You know how they say that people can learn to live with anything? That is [[the Knox Experience]]. Apparently it was [[Copy Editor|copy-edited]] out of the [[admission]] brochures.<br />
<br />
This article makes much reference to cardinal directions to place items of interest. For those of you used to [[Denver|mountains]] and [[Chicago|city skylines]] as reference points, just remember that [[Old Main]] faces north, towards [[downtown]] Galesburg.<br />
<br />
Also keep in mind that this guide was written around the inception of The Wiki Fire and edited completely randomly and largely anonymously since then. Basically, be the clever aspiring Knox students we all know you are when reading this. <br />
<br />
==Your Fellow Students==<br />
<br />
===Origin===<br />
Of the 1392 students at Knox, maybe half come from the state of [[Illinois]]. The bulk of those come from [[Chicago]] and its various [[suburb]]s (mostly the [[Outside of Chicago|suburbs]]). Generally, when meeting a person, if they don't say what state or specifically what neighborhood in Chicago he or she is from, you may as well cut to the chase and ask them what Chicago suburb they're from to save time. Those of you not from Chicago will soon learn the names and relative locations of all the suburbs. According to the [[The official Knox website|Knox website]], 14.1% of students live within 100 miles of Knox. This includes a number of Galesburg natives and [[non-traditional student]]s with Galesburg residency, as well as students from [[Peoria]], the [[Quad Cities]], and the [[farm]]s and [[small town]]s of western Illinois and eastern [[Iowa]]. The rest of the Illinois students come from places like [[Rockford]], [[Carbondale]], and other regions of northern, southern, and central Illinois. The local and non-Chicago Illinois students seem to comprise a remarkably large percentage of [[athlete]]s and possibly the majority of [[Beta]]s. <br />
<br />
Beyond this, there are numerous students from surrounding states: [[Wisconsin]], [[Iowa]], and [[Missouri]] are the primary contributors. After Chicago, [[St. Louis]] and [[Kansas City]] may be the best-represented cities at Knox. There are a number of students from rural areas of these states as well.<br />
<br />
Outside of the four-state area, the majority of American-resident students are from various sizeable cities. While for the more local students academic or athletic reputation was a significant consideration, for the rest [[financial aid]] often took precedence. Distant but well-represented cities at Knox include [[Denver]], [[Albuquerque]], and [[Portland, Oregon|Portland]] ([[Oregon]]). Beyond the seven states so far mentioned, there are forty-one more states and territories currently sending students to Knox. These students are sad and all alone in the world. Comfort them. Instruct them in the relative fashionableness of Chicagoland's area codes (unless you actually want to make friends during orientation). <br />
<br />
We mustn't forget also the substantial set of [[international student]]s coming to Knox. These students have come looking for an American [[education]], and are on the whole able to pay for it. Some question might be asked as to why they would choose, out of hundreds of schools, Knox, but as Knox has made a special effort to attract international students one can make some assumptions. Generally, the largest sources of international students seem to be tropical western [[Africa]] (especially [[Ghana]] and [[Nigeria]]), [[South Asia]] (especially [[Nepal]]), [[Southeast Asia]] (especially [[Vietnam]]), and eastern [[Asia]] (especially [[South Korea]] and [[Japan]]). There are several students from [[Europe]], and one combination student and graduate [[teaching assistant]] from [[Germany]] each year. Many of the European students, as well as some of the others, are children of American diplomats or businesspeople.<br />
<br />
Knox is said to be very [[diversity|diverse]]. Though this is true, the administration really likes the Chicagoland area. Like, a lot. It's almost sad that the most diverse experience some people have is at a school of only around 1400 undergrads, but most Knox students manage to cope with this sad state of affairs somehow. Those that can't at least have a wonderful new topic for their Honors project on Post-Colonialism. <br />
<br />
===Academics===<br />
<br />
Knox touts its distinction as the best liberal arts college in [[Illinois]], a state that, to be fair, has a fairly weak history in the liberal arts. After all, the [[Chicago|City of Big Shoulders]], which back in Knox's time was a relatively uncultured creep of Midwestern industrial growth and centralization, required a meat-and-potatoes sort of higher education system, and there were certainly plenty of well-established schools [[East Coast|further east]] for nancy English majors. Knox has, however, done fairly well for itself, placing somewhere in the seventies each year on the ''[[U.S. News and World Report]]'' rankings. It often garners good ratings in the [[Princeton Review]], and is a perennial favorite of the book ''[[Colleges That Change Lives]]''. Knox is quick to note whatever accolades it receives, and you can find them quoted [http://www.knox.edu/x703.xml here].<br />
<br />
Quantitatively, 75% of Knox students were in the top quarter of their [[high school]] class, and 43% graduated in the top tenth. The middle of 50 percent of the [[ACT]] Composite score is 26-31; for the [[SAT]] (out of 1600), 1150-1410. Knox does not require the ACT or SAT anymore. This is because we are innovative. Remember this. We made [[Abraham Lincoln]], too, as far as we're concerned.<br />
<br />
These statistics, while good, aren't quite as impressive as some of the more famous schools – indeed, while many in [[Illinois]] or [[Missouri]] have heard of Knox, if you utter the name in [[California]] [http://knox.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2202235148 then people will think you're going to school in Tennessee]. You will soon learn, if you have not already, that the official name of Knox outside of the Midwest is "Knox College, a small liberal arts school in western Illinois (not near Chicago)." A recent addition to this somewhat cumbersome name is 'where Stephen Colbert got his DFA'.<br />
<br />
On the whole, the basic demographic at Knox is good students, with moderate achievements, generally with either a high personal concern either for community or a pressing practical concern for money. A larger than usual percentage are students whose work in high school was perhaps tempered by other concerns, usually social but sometimes associated with being batshit crazy. A fair number of intelligent underachievers add to the mix as well. To be fair, Knox, while selective, is not ''that'' selective.<br />
<br />
===Social===<br />
<br />
As just mentioned, students often think much of social matters, and as the middle students of high school who, perhaps, existed without some firm sort of group identification, the social scene at Knox is quite involved. It is made the more so given Knox's small size and isolation: just as water boils faster in a covered, confined space, Knox's [[drama]] percolates up all the time. The wide availability of drugs and alcohol doesn't help anybody calm down, either. For [[Anso]] majors, it can be quite the opportunity for some ad-hoc fieldwork, but of course few of them can resist being involved themselves.<br />
<br />
On the whole, Knox's drama appears to be more intricate than that at many other schools. And, as everybody pretty much knows everybody with at most two degrees of separation, and sees them once or twice a day, there are a lot of opportunities from social intercourse. This is the sense of community of a small school, but also one of its strangest phenomena. The [[rumor mill]] is especially large, and it is not unheard of for [[faculty]] to get entangled in it as well (they, apparently, need their [[sex]] too). Attempts have been made to catalogue the [[The Web|network of romantic and sexual relationships]] on campus, but the complexity and rapid changes have gotten the better of them. Anyone trying to compile such a list quickly realizes that not only are the heuristics absurd, but also that all of the compilers tend to be just as awkwardly and intricately connected as anyone else. <br />
<br />
====The Greek System====<br />
<br />
For first-years especially, the social scene is largely centered on the [[Greek]] system. After the first year, those who do join a Greek organization keep somewhat within that organization (though anyone will tell you that the Greek system at Knox is not nearly what you expect it to be), and those that do not join any will coalesce their own social channels or find a good balance between the two social realms, but until then there is significant room for maneuver. The [[fraternity|fraternities]] are most prominent on the party scene, because they have residential houses and it is easiest for them to both fit people and organize. The [[sorority|sororities]] only have nonresidential houses, so they don't hold as many parties, instead attending the fraternity parties. The sororities are also larger and contain a larger variety of people within them than do the men's fraternities, making their identity somewhat more difficult to define. [[Rush|Recruitment]] for these organizations is different than many major universities, and begins in [[Winter Term]]. Besides the organizations listed, there are several more niche Greek organizations of various size and purpose. <br />
<br />
*[[Tau Kappa Epsilon]] (Teak) is located to the east of [[Beta Theta Pi|Beta]]. It is known for its parties and recruits many fine young men out of Seymour. It is also the oldest remaining TKE house in the nation. TKE is constantly reinventing itself and coming close to burning down, so we always have to see what the next year will bring. <br />
<br />
*[[Beta Theta Pi]] (Beta) focuses primarily on attracting [[football]] players and other athletes. Their house is on South St. between [[TKE]] and [[Alumni Hall]].<br />
<br />
*[[Phi Gamma Delta]] (FIJI) attracts a lot of baseball players, basketball players, a significant number of African international students, and sundry others. Depending on the year, it is the most multicultural of fraternities. Their house is on the southwest corner of [[Cedar Street|Cedar]] and [[Tompkins Street|Tompkins]] streets, diagonal from the Galesburg Police Station and across the street from Standish Park. <br />
<br />
*[[Sigma Nu]] (SNu) caters largely to the less obviously fraternity-material students (the geek contingent), and tend to be focused on [[video games]], [[politics]], and "bein' chill". However, as of 2010-2011, they have attempted to, "rise above the awkward," posing a more friendly socializing atmosphere. Their house is located on [[West Street|West St.]], near the [[Service Ramp]] in the [[Quads]], and they really anjoy reminding Quad residents of this fact. <br />
<br />
*[[Sigma Chi]], the newest fraternity (and, thus far, sadly lacking in a whimsical abbreviation) grew out of the [[Ultimate Frisbee]] team. Its members are fond of [[nudity]]. Their house used to be a very prominent [[crackhouse]] until the occupants were arrested and one fraternity member's family purchased the house, remodeled it, and sold it to the school. It is located on the southwest corner of [[West Street|West]] and [[Knox Street|Knox]] streets.<br />
<br />
*[[Delta Delta Delta]] (Tri Delta) is one of the sororities. They maintain their Lodge on [[Academy Street|Academy St.]], behind [[SMC]]. They mostly hang out with the football players at [[Beta]] and wear heels. <br />
<br />
*[[Pi Beta Phi]] (Pi Phi) also maintains a house (the Bungalow) on Academy, just north of the Tri Delta Lodge. This sorority has somewhat more activists and dedicated [[feminist]]s than Tri Delta, and are known on campus for being down to earth. <br />
<br />
*[[Kappa Kappa Gamma]] (Kappa)'s house is north of the Pi Phi Bungalow. Kappas at Knox are known for their balance of partying and leadership activities and usually wear big sunglasses. <br />
<br />
*[[Alpha Sigma Alpha]] is the newest sorority on campus. Originally branded the female [[SNu]], they have since backed away from this label.<br />
<br />
**[[Women of Influence]] (WOI) is another recently-formed sorority colony comprised mainly of members of [[Lo Nuestro]] and [[ABLE]].<br />
<br />
**[[Gentlemen of Quality]] (GQ) is the newest colony addition to the Greek system.<br />
<br />
====Suites====<br />
<br />
The other major locus of social organization is the [[suite]] system. Upperclassmen generally [[Housing Lottery|get to pick with whom they are living]], if they have any preference in the matter, but [[first-year]]s are simply thrown together based on survey answers. Given the pressure-cooker social atmosphere, few people end up living with their first-year roommates, for instance, for any additional time. Some first-year suites end up becoming destinations, and others are simply bedrooms. Some suites have perennial reputations, [[Seymour 3B]] being the most infamous. Each freshman suite or group of suites comes with a Knox-issue [[Resident Advisor]] (RA), who will range in quality and willingness to overlook suite members' [[Drinking|actions]] and [[Marijuana|possessions]]. Regardless of your opinion of this person, they are there to for numerous reasons, mostly as an intermediary between you and the administration. Keep in mind that you screwing up (and getting caught) reflects poorly on them as well, but seeing as they have attended the college for longer than you it is totally acceptable to look to them for assistance and advice. <br />
<br />
==Your Room==<br />
<br />
First-years are housed in [[residence hall]]s, usually two to a room. Students may request a [[single]], but it costs several hundred dollars extra and often requires some justifying to the administration. Generally demand is too low to fill them with paying students, so some first-years will be thrown into them at no cost. First-year singles are located in [[Five-Name]]. There are also two triples in [[Seymour Hall]]. Sometimes, due to dropouts, roommate moves, or the like, one might end up living alone in a standard room. This is called a [[double-single]]. <br />
<br />
However, housing at Knox is best described as a creature with amoeba-like attributes and is, as you will see on campus, a matter of paperwork rather than actual practice for many students. Some students even opt to informally live somewhere other than where they were assigned, either because they have found a suite of people they like a little better or have found one person they like a lot better.<br />
<br />
===Seymour Hall===<br />
<br />
[[Seymour Hall]] houses about 80 [[boy|male]] first-years. There is one suite on the second floor of Seymour on the north side of the building ([[Seymour 2]]), and two suites on the third floor: [[Seymour 3A]] above Seymour 2, and [[Seymour 3B]] perpendicular to 3A, over the [[Oak Room]]. The suites are accessible by a spiral staircase above the [[Grab-n-Go Cart]] between the [[Campus Life Office]] and [[Founders]], and by the stairwell on the west side of Seymour, which leads down to the section of Seymour basement with the [[mailroom]] and the [[bookstore]]. These suites are the least secure on campus, as they are in a building that is open 24 hours a day, and the doors to them are usually propped (although [[Campus Safety]] unprops them on its rounds). The rooms are large, if not particularly nice looking. The closets are large enough to fit the [[Dorm furniture|standard-issue dresser]] in them. There is a single common area for all three suites, at the eastern end of 3A; it is hardly ever used, and usually is cannibalized for its furniture. There are [[vending machine]]s on the third floor. [[Laundry]] facilities are in each of the bathrooms, of which there is one on each floor. The roof of Seymour is accessible from windows in the bathroom and several of the rooms, but fines for being out there can be significant if caught.<br />
<br />
Seymour suites have unparalleled easy access to campus, as they are right upstairs from the eateries, the [[Founders|main computer lab]], and the mailroom. On winter days, one need not leave the building except for [[class]]. These suites are generally the least well-kept of all on campus, and the suites often incur high repair fees at the end of the year for their various drunken indiscretions. 3B is perennially the worst of the three in this sense, and has a long history of [[alcohol]] and [[drugs]] beyond the normal levels. The squalor is part of the ambience. Those with a heightened sense of [[hygiene]] will find life in Seymour to be [[Phantom Shitter|very hard on them]].<br />
<br />
===Post Hall===<br />
<br />
First-year [[Post]] is an [[girl|all-female]] area of six [[suite]]s, with about 100 girls. These suites are on the north side of the building, along [[West St.]]; there are also four upperclass suites in the east wing of the building, and upperclassmen living in [[Post Basement]] (the rooms of which were installed to alleviate [[overcrowding]] during the 2006-2007 school year) and may be fondly referred to as [[Post Dungeon]]. [[Kitchen]]s and [[laundry]] rooms are available in the basements, and the [[C-Store]] convenience store is in [[Post Lobby]], along with a big-screen TV (generally controlled by the [[Gaming Information Network]] or other video-game players). There are stairwells between each suite<br />
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Each suite is two stories tall, with a common area on the lower floor, an internal staircase to the balcony, and two small bathrooms on each floor. Each suite has 16 to 18 students, making for a very small bathroom-to-student ratio – Post suites are likely the cleanest on campus. They also have very nice views of campus, with the huge suite window. Then again, this makes it very easy for [[Campus Safety]] to break up unregistered [[parties]]. Post suites are numbered from one to ten: Post 1 is the lower northernmost suite, Post 2 the suite above it, and so on, to Post 10, the upper-level suite farthest out on the east wing. Only Post 1-6 hold first-years.<br />
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===Sellew-Raub===<br />
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[[Sellew-Raub]] is located in the [[Quads]], and is largely made up of first-year housing, although the amount of upperclass housing changes from year to year. It runs east-west, between [[Five-Name]] and [[Four-Name]]. The [[Service Ramp]] is at its western end. There are six suites on three floors, each with 10 to 12 students. On each floor, one suite is Raub and one Sellew. As with Seymour, these are designated by floor (e.g. [[Raub 2]], [[Sellew 1]]). There is a common area in each suite, and one bathroom separated in two parts for each floor. Sellew and Raub each have a stairwell. [[Laundry]] facilities are available in the basement, but no [[kitchen]]. Sellew-Raub is co-ed by floor. It is typical Quads and pretty unremarkable.<br />
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===Conger-Neal===<br />
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[[Conger-Neal]] is pretty much the same as Sellew-Raub, and is located along [[West St.]] north of the [[Service Ramp]]. Most of the occupants are upperclassmen, but usually at least one suite is made over to first-years. The [[Conger-Neal basement]], reminiscent of the infamous velociraptor scene in Jurassic Park, is the third-scariest on campus, after [[Aux Gym]] and [[GDH]].<br />
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===Five-Name===<br />
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[[Five-Name]] is the large L-shaped building rounding the northeast corner of [[West Street|West]] and [[Knox Street|Knox]] streets. It contains five suites. [[Campbell]] and [[Elder]] are the two suites of the north wing, and [[Neifert]] and [[Sherwin]] are on the east wing. [[Furrow]] is in the bend, and houses primarily upperclassmen. The basements also have a few rooms, but these are usually given to upperclassmen as well, although many believe them to be the worst housing on campus. This reputation is based largely on five-names extreme excess of fire alarms, though it may seem unthinkable to have as many as 6 fire alarms in a single day that is daily life in five-name. Each wing essentially has a double suite on each floor, with a shared hallway separated by a door that is usually open, and bathrooms at either end. The building is co-ed. There is a combination kitchen/laundry room in [[Neifert Basement]], along with [[the Roger Taylor Lounge|the former Roger Taylor Lounge]]. The[[Student Health Center]] sits on the outside corner of the building and is combined with the [[Counseling Center]]. Five-Name suites are numbered by floor, starting in the basement (Neifert or Elder 1, although usually they are referred to as Neifert or [[Elder Basement]], with the actual first floor being numbered 2, and so forth). Five-Name is far away from everything, except loud Sigma Chi dance parties.<br />
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===I-House===<br />
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If you are an [[international student]], you may end up in the [[International House]]. Congratulations.<br />
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==The Campus==<br />
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Knox strives for a parklike setting. It used to strive for a tree-lined sort of parklike, and then [[Dutch Elm Disease]] happened, so now it strives to evoke more of a [[prairie]] thing. In the summer and early fall it is very green, what with the well-kept lawns. The small nature patch east of the quads is what the land used to look like. One can imagine that in the future, when deer become sentient and take over the world, there will be a small patch of manicured lawn west of the quads at Deer-Knox (undoubtedly refounded by gazelle-slavery abolitionists) that will be visited by [[Anthropology and Sociology|Human Studies]] classes.<br />
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On the northeast quarter of campus are most of the academic buildings on campus. [[Old Main]] is the old one, with the [[belltower]]. [[Seymour Hall]] is the one with all the stuff in it, in the center. You eat at it. [[GDH]], the [[Aux Gym]], and the [[Old Jail]] are around, along with administrative buildings outside of the campus proper. [[Alumni Hall]] is the one that doesn't even have stairs to its doors. To the west is the gray building that looks kind of like a scale model of itself, which is [[Seymour Library]] (not to be confused with Seymour Hall – [[Knox]] may have few wealthy [[alumni]], but those it has are sometimes suitably generous). [[TKE]] and [[Beta]], as well as the [[Wilson House]], are nearby. North of [[South St.]] are the [[apartments]], which are home mostly to seniors and some juniors, as well as [[270 W. Tompkins]] (a rotating theme house) and the [[Jazz House]]. West of South [[West St.]] (confusing? Just wait) is [[SMC]], the large building that suggests a swastika, and behind that the [[sorority]] houses, another house, and the [[Human Rights Center]]. On the eastern side of the campus is [[CFA]], and in the southeast corner the [[Memorial Gym]]. The [[Quads]] are essentially the southwest corner, including the [[Old Quads]] ([[Four-Name]], [[Conger-Neal]], etc.) and the [[New Quads]] ([[Five-Name]]). [[Post Hall]] is just north of these, and a number of campus houses, including [[I-House]], the [[Old Phi Delt House]], [[SNu]], [[Sigma Chi]], and [[Yellow House]] are strung out along [[West St.]] from [[Berrien St.]] on the north end to [[First St.]] at the southern end. The [[Steam Pipe Network]] connects many of the campus buildings. Here, look at a [http://www.knox.edu/prebuilt/PDFs/Campus_map.pdf map of campus].<br />
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[[Elevator]]s on campus are about as common as [[Republican]]s in [[Chicago]] city government (see? Even if you're not from Chicago you pick up fast on these things). ''[[BLADU]]'', the now-defunct humor magazine, had a feature in its early years called "This Month's Event that Disabled Students Can't Attend" or something to that effect. If you're wheelchair-bound, you might have done well to visit first.<br />
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===Old Main===<br />
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Knox's signature building. It's on the letterhead. The school makes a big deal about it being the only remaining site of the [[Lincoln-Douglas debates]]. [[Abraham Lincoln]] climbed through a window to get to the debating platform – He'd "been through college," he said. You may have sat in [[Lincoln Chair|his chair]] as a [[prospie]]. If Knox knew exactly where he had walked while on campus, they would surely mark it off as the Lincoln Trail, litter it with interpretive signage, and all but worship it. More prosaically, as it were, it holds the [[English Department|English]], [[Philosophy Department|Philosophy]], and [[History Department|History]] departments, as well as some key administrative offices on the first floor, including the office of the [[Dean of the College]], the [[President's Office]], the [[Business Office]], the [[Office of Student Development]], the [[Dean of Students]], and so on. Major meeting rooms in Old Main are the [[Alumni Room]] (if you can't have a hall you might as well get part of one) on the first floor in the northwest corner, and the [[Common Room]] along the southern side of the second floor.<br />
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===Alumni Hall===<br />
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Alumni Hall is kind of like a classic car – it's old, and really beautiful, but it's been neglected for forty years. [[Knox College|Its owner]] always talks about restoring it, but doesn't have the [[endowment|balls]] to do it any time soon, so the car rusts out on the [[South Street|driveway]], looking pretty stupid to anybody who drives by. At some point the owner goes and asks [[James Kilts|his friend]], the former CEO of Gillette, who once landed his helicopter in the owner's backyard, whether he would be willing to give him several million dollars to restore the car and name it James Kilts Alumni Classic Car, to which this lugubrious CEO, already glorified to no end in the owner's [[admission]] brochures, will reply, "I don't do buildings." And here the analogy falls apart.<br />
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If you ever get a chance to go inside (usually when the [[Trustees]] come – the open it up to try to get them to feel bad and give money), go. It's very nice. Otherwise, it stands empty, and glows sodium-orange at night. For those daring at heart, if you are lucky to find Alumni Hall unlocked, be sure to enter only under the protection of nightfall, but escape before the timer turns on said lights.<br />
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===Seymour Union===<br />
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Where to begin?<br />
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[[Seymour Union]], also known as Seymour Hall, has three floors and a basement. The second and third floors are entirely all-male [[residence hall]]. If the right doors and windows are open, sometimes [[marijuana]] smoke wafts down to the first floor. On the first floor are three different eatery options. Along the south side of the building is the [[Hard Knox Café]], known as The Caf, the buffet-style option, and the most well-used (if not the most popular) one on campus. Just north of it is the [[Oak Room]], which is single-pass and has less variety but is often better quality. Across the hall from the Caf is the [[Gizmo]], the snack bar/fast food sort of place, which is open all day and is a major gathering spot. Next to it just outside the building is the [[Gizmo Patio]], which is very popular for [[drama|socializing]] and [[studying]] in warmer weather and [[smoking]] even in the winter. The windowed hallway from the Caf and Gizmo past the Oak Room to the north side of the building is known as the [[Gallery]]. This is where [[tabling]] happens. Often the school will bring traveling merchants in the Gallery to hawk their wares, most notably the [[poster sale]], the book fair, and most often a woman who sells clothes and woven items.<br />
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The Gallery ends and a new perpendicular hallway takes its place for the north side of the building. The northeast corner of Seymour is taken up with [[Founders]], the main [[computer lab]]. It has mostly [[Windows]] computers (but a few [[Mac]]s), as well as a tricked-out laser printer. It is open 23 ½ hours a day (closed from 5-5:30 AM for computer maintenance). Across the hall from Founders is the [[Campus Life Office]], where [[Craig Southern]] (the housing guy) and [[Cindy Wickliffe]] (the campus events organization lady, and the sender of campuswide [[e-mail]]s that you're not supposed to respond to) work. The building foyer on the north side also has [[change machine]]s and an [[ATM]]. The change machines are broken almost as often as not. You will get used to it. Be nice to the Gizmo people, because if you are they might give you change even though they're not supposed to.<br />
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Further west along the hall is the [[Carl Sandburg Study Lounge]], which is basically the only study lounge open 24 hours a day. It is especially popular with [[international student]]s. Next to that is the [[Publications Office]], where staff for ''[[The Knox Student]]'' and ''[[Catch]]'' work. A hallway branches off to the west stairwell, which heads toward the [[mailroom]], and after that there is [[Ferris Lounge]] and the [[Lincoln Room]], which are sometimes used for meetings, a number of smaller rooms off a hallway, and [[Helmut Mayer]]'s office (Helmut is the Director of [[Dining Services]]). The [[Loading Dock]] is on the west side of the building, and receives shipments for Dining Services. The Dining Services office is accessible only from outside the building, just west of the Caf.<br />
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There are actually three separate basements in Seymour, at least as far as student accessibility is concerned. Students can only get into two, unless they work for Dining Services, which uses the third section for storage. One section, on the northwest side of the building, contains the mailroom and [[bookstore]]. The other section is accessible from a stairwell near the Gizmo. At the landing there is the [[Union Board]] office, and some other [[club]] office space. At the bottom are two bathrooms, the [[Student Senate]] office, and [[the Roger Taylor Lounge]] (formerly [[Wallace Lounge]]). The left side, which has windows, is a study area, and the windowless right side used to be a bowling alley, but is now a game room complete with two pool tables, a foosball table, an air hockey table, several big-screen TVs and a Nintendo Wii. At the back of the lounge is the old ''[[BLADU]]'' office, which formerly housed the [[Free Store]] (now located in the basement of [[Conger-Neal]]). This is the only public building open 24 hours a day.<br />
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===Seymour Library===<br />
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[[Seymour Library]] is in the top 2% of [[college]] libraries nationwide, they say. However, they don't quote this rank like they do for ranks associated with [[financial aid]] or the [[WVKC|radio station]], so it's a little suspect. All in all, however, it's a lovely library for a school of this size. Jobs at the library are among the most coveted on campus. It contains the main copy machines for public use, a number of [[computer]]s (including laptops you can check out at the front desk), and a few dozen or so books, too. The study carrels are numerous and generally fairly quiet, although many of the red swivel chairs squeak horribly. The catalog is online, and accessible [http://library.knox.edu here]. You can check out movies too – the VHS library is larger, but they continually acquire new DVDs for [[professor]]s' class needs. The [[Special Collections and Archives]] room has a lot of very interesting old things. The major meeting areas in the library are the [[Muelder Reading Room]] (much, much better known as the Red Room, because of the red carpet), and a number of smaller rooms arrayed next to it, including the [[Bookfellows Room]], [[Finley Room]], and [[Cassidy Room]]. On the third floor above this area are [[Honors office]]s, for seniors who are doing an [[Honors Project]]. On the first floor, the study room at the east side of the building arrayed with glass-block windows is often referred to as the [[Fishbowl]].<br />
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[[Reserves]] for (non science) classes are available at the front desk. Smaller reserves are in manila envelopes and listed by a file number, which you have to look up in the catalog. The rest are by call number. There are also open reserves, which are located on the first floor, between the periodicals and the DVD shelf. There is only one bathroom in the entire building, off the foyer. There are two stairwells, one at the front and the other at the back, running just to the right of the Fishbowl.<br />
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If you want science books or reserves, those are available at the [[Kresge Science-Mathematics Library]] in [[SMC]] (another donation behemoth, that Kresge was). There is also a [[Music Library]] in [[CFA]].<br />
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===SMC===<br />
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Officially known as the [[Sharvy G. Umbeck Science and Mathematics Center]], it is called SMC (pronounced '"smack") because many of Knox's benefactors (in this case a former college president) do not have pretty-sounding names. We can't all be Seymours or Kresges, after all. It contains offices and classrooms for all the sciences, including [[psychology]], [[mathematics]], and [[Computer Science|computer science]]. Its basement is creepy and contains the [[Computer Center]], two computer labs, [[Stellyes]] and [[Caterpillar Lab|Caterpillar]], and many file cabinets containing magical objects (this is where you can find the [[door to Narnia]]). The [[Office of Advancement]] is located in the E wing. The [[Kresge Science-Mathematics Library]] is in the center of the second floor. The building has four wings, lettered B through E, with the core being A. The A-wing contains two large lecture pits seating over 100, one of which is the meeting place for [[Student Senate]]. There are six stairwells, two in the core and one on the end of each wing.<br />
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SMC is not really shaped like a swastika, but it kind of looks like it, especially from above. Perhaps they will make additions.<br />
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Be prepared to find yourself lost somewhere in SMC during the first term. It may help to watch the scenery outside the huge plate-glass windows--it's the only thing that changes as you move around.<br />
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===GDH===<br />
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Officially known as [[George Davis Hall]], this was the science building before SMC was built in 1970, and currently houses a number of [[Academic Department|department]]s, including all the social sciences, [[Modern Languages and Literatures Department|Modern Languages]], and [[Educational Studies Department|Educational Studies]]. The radio station, [[WVKC]], is located on the fourth floor, accessed from the eastern stairwell. It contains the [[Centel Lab|Centel computer lab]] on the first floor, which contains special workstations for use with foreign language instruction. The basement is the second scariest on campus, although it is sometimes locked. There is a 19th-century X-ray machine down there.<br />
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===Old Jail===<br />
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The [[Old Jail]], just east of [[GDH]], contains faculty offices. It also holds the [[Lincoln Studies Center]] and the [[Underground Railroad Freedom Station]], as well as an actual [[jail]] in the back. The jail is multilevel and quite impressive.<br />
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===CFA===<br />
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Officially known as [[Ford Center for the Fine Arts]]. This holds the [[Art Department|Art]], [[Theatre and Dance Department|Theatre and Dance]], and [[Music Department|Music]] departments. The main venue is the [[Harbach Theatre]], which is the [[mainstage]] for theatre productions and is across the lobby corridor from the [[Office of Admission]]. [[Kresge Recital Hall]] is used more often for speakers and musical performances, and for [[First-Year Orientation]]. It's on the south side of the main lobby. In the basement by the eastern stairwell is the [[Studio Theatre]], used for smaller, usually [[student]]-directed, shows. The south wing of CFA is the [[music]] wing, and contains offices, recital halls, practice rooms, and the [[Music Library]] on the second floor. On the north side of the lobby is the main art exhibition space, around an obviously curved wall. Inside this wall is the [[Round Room]], which would be the coolest room on campus if the seating weren't quite as unnecessarily cramped. The [[Office of Financial Aid]] sits above the Office of Admission on the second floor.<br />
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CFA has the same effect that created the term SMC rat, for science students, but without a name. You will get stuck in CFA if you commit to theatre or music. You will spend way more time in it than most people think is necessary. And you will, for some reason, feel compelled to visit it when you have nothing to do because there is inevitably someone, usually a group of someones, who have the same problem and will be more than happy to talk about things with you on the CFA patio because they don't know what to do with their time away from CFA either.<br />
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===Memorial Gym===<br />
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The [[Memorial Gym]] holds most of the important athletic facilities on campus. It is tucked behind [[CFA]] and the [[track]]. Inside is a [[basketball]] court on the first floor. In the basement there is a woefully small [[natatorium]] (pool). This used to be easy to break into, but then they changed the lock. On the second floor there are offices for low-seniority faculty, as well as the headquarters of the [[Black Studies Program]]. The new-looking, floor-to-ceiling windowed section is the [[E. & L. Andrew Fitness Center]].<br />
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Some other facilities, specifically for dance, are located in the [[Aux Gym|Auxiliary Gym]], between [[CFA]] and [[GDH]].<br />
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===Other Places on Campus===<br />
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In addition to the buildings described above, there are numerous other, smaller places on campus that are worth noting.<br />
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In terms of classroom and meeting space, there are several other areas. One, the [[Compass Room]], is a meeting and class room located on the second floor in the center of the [[Townhouses]], which are upperclass housing on the northeast corner of [[South Street|South]] and [[Cedar Street|Cedar]] streets. On class schedules it will show up as 251E in reference to the building's address, 251 South West St., and the letter E as coming after Townhouses [[Townhouse A|A]] through [[Townhouse D|D]]. It has a [[kitchen]]. Another, the [[Wilson House]], is sometimes used for [[class]]es, and is located next to [[TKE]]. It also has a kitchen. There is also the [[Center for Intercultural Life]], a small house adjoined to [[Simonds Hall]] (part of [[Four-Name]]). The [[Center for Teaching and Learning]] is used for tutoring and other functions, and is on [[West St.]], south of the parking lot.<br />
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Major named lawns include the [[South Lawn]] (south of [[Old Main]]) and [[Post Lawn]] (between [[Post]] and [[Seymour]]). There are [[Meridian Tennis Courts|tennis courts]] just east of the [[Quad]]s, and a track east of those. On the other side of [[Knox St.]] there is a [[soccer field]] and the [[Knox Bowl]], a [[football]] field with a manmade hill all around it. [[Pot]] smoking and sledding are popular Knox Bowl activities. Getting caught in there incurs reference to the [[Office of Student Development]].<br />
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The [[Campus Safety]] Office is located on [[Prairie St.]], near [[Berrien St.]] You pick up and drop off your keys there, although you generally do not need to during First-Year Orientation.<br />
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The main convenience store for campus is the 24-hour [[Quick Sam's Convenience Convenient]] (seriously, that's what the sign says) at the corner of [[South Street|South]] and [[Academy Street|Academy]]. Unlike the [[C-Store]], they sell cigarettes and alcohol.<br />
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==Faculty==<br />
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The [[faculty]] are probably the best thing going at [[Knox]]. Many of Knox's professors are recent [[Ph.D.]] graduates who teach at Knox for a few years before moving to greener pastures, but the [[tenure]]d faculty are none the worse for staying (perhaps, in fact, they are better for it). Those who do stay are generally extremely committed to the teaching-college niche of Knox, as well as the slightly odd nature of the Knox and Galesburg community. Some of them just really like the house they bought, and/or don't want to sell it at a loss in [[Galesburg]]'s anemic real estate market. Students have a lot of contact with professors generally; some too little, some [[sex|too much]].<br />
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A lot of Knox's professors are married to each other, which is another reason they get tenure. Some of them are obvious, like [[Robin Metz]] and [[Elizabeth Carlin-Metz]], or the [[Fineberg]]s. Some of them are less so, like [[Nancy Eberhardt]] and [[Steve Cohn]]. You probably shouldn't badmouth one to the other.<br />
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The overwhelming majority of students get invited to a professor's house at least once. Knox ensures this by having the first-year advisors invite their advisees over for dinner during [[First-year Orientation]]. [[Nick Regiacorte|Nick]] and [[Sunshine Regiacorte]] serve really good pasta. Some of the other professors can't cook and do [[Joy Garden|takeout]] or something. But it's the thought that counts, and now when the [[Office of Admission]] recalculates the number for the admission brochures you'll have to say that you went to a professor's house once.<br />
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==Staff==<br />
Knox has some wonderful [[staff]]. Sadly, most people miss the chance to meet many of them, except for those with whom they have [[campus employment]].<br />
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==Administration==<br />
This well-meaning group of people keeps [[Knox]] on an even keel, charting a course toward [[financial impregnability]], as former [[President of the College|President]] Roger Taylor might say. Members of the administrative offices are part of the staff.<br />
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There are five main departments at Knox, each headed by a Vice President.<br />
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===Teresa L. Amott===<br />
The 19th President of the college, also the first female president, scheduled to take the helm during the 2011-2012 school year. Most Knox students don't know anything about her yet. Check out the articles about her on the Knox website as well as videos of her speeches at Knox and you will be just about as informed as the rest of us. <br />
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===Roger and Anne Taylor===<br />
[[Roger Taylor]] resigned at the end of the 2010-2011 school year from his position as the college president. He used to be a lawyer for [[Kirkland & Ellis LLP]], in [[Chicago]]. He liked to introduce himself as an [[alum]], only for it to eventually dawn on you that he was the president. This is because Knox is humble and down-home. He may have helped you move your things in during [[orientation]]. During [[Commencement]], he pronounced 2007 as twenty-oh-seven. He was very concerned about [[financial impregnability|financial birth control]], and used many techniques, including the [[Endowment|pill]], the [[Natatorium|withdrawal method]], and the messy [[Alumni Hall|partial-birth abortion]]. He likes to tell [[When Roger Met Anne|the story about how he met his wife Anne]] whenever he is within fifteen feet of a podium. If you visited Knox as a [[prospie]], you might have been met by Roger as the tour group stopped outside of his office. This was not an accident; he had the tour guides talk louder so he knew to come out and say hi and prove to you that Knox is humble and down-home. Sometimes he would eat in the [[Caf]] and sit down by random students to make conversation. It was a little [[awkward]].<br />
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[[Anne Taylor]] is Roger's wife. She is also an attorney, and is special counsel for the college. She is no friend of [[Flunk Day]], for the multifarious liability issues. She makes sure Roger remembers people's names. She and Roger lived at [[Ingersoll House]]. A few special functions, such as [[Mortarboard]] induction, might get you a chance to go in.<br />
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===Office of Admission===<br />
Maybe you remember them? The [[Office of Admission]] is headed by Vice President for Enrollment and Dean of Admission [[Paul Steenis]]. You won't have much to do with the Office of Admission proper as a [[student]], but you will likely have dealings with the [[Office of Financial Aid]], under Director [[Terry Jackson]]. They send you a financial aid package, and help you out with student loans and so on (getting them, not paying for them).<br />
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===Office of Advancement===<br />
Headed by Vice President of Advancement [[Beverly Holmes]], the [[Office of Advancement]] is comprised of the [[Office of Alumni Relations]] and the [[Development Office]] (not to be confused with the [[Office of Student Development]]). Their main concern is getting people, especially [[alumni]], to give the school [[money]], because we are [[endowment|poor]] and that course toward financial impregnability won't chart itself. If you wanted a rich school, transfer to bourgeois [[Grinnell]]. Befriend the people who work in this office - they know everything about all the alumni - and they are more helpful getting you in touch with important alums when you need a job than Career Services.<br />
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===Office of Academic Affairs===<br />
The [[Office of Academic Affairs]] is run by [[Larry Breitborde]], Vice President for Academic Affairs and Dean of the College. [[Steve Bailey]] is the Associate Dean of the College, with whom you are likely to have more contact; Dean Bailey is a good person to know, as he can help you with problems large and small, academic and personal. This office is in charge of the [[faculty]] and most academic resources on campus, including the [[Library|libraries]], the [[Computer Center]], the [[Registrar]], [[Athletics]], the [[Lincoln Studies Center]], and various special programs including [[Honors]], the [[Ford Fellowship]], and the [[McNair Program]]. It also oversees all [[Faculty Advisor]]s, who help you pick classes. The [[Honor Code]] and [[Honor Board]] are considered parts of this Office.<br />
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====Registrar====<br />
The [[Office of the Registrar]] is part of the Office of Academic Affairs. The Registrar is responsible for transcripts and grade reporting, and maintains your [[Educational Development Report]] (EDR). The Registrar's website, accessible [http://www.knox.edu/registrar.xml here], also has the most recent copy of the [[Knox College Catalog]], and the [[Academic Calendar]] for this and past years. The Registrar is responsible for class location assignments and class placement as well, and their system is what advisors log into to sign you up for classes.<br />
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The current Registrar is [[Sheryl Kristensen]]. [[Karen Benedict]] is the office manager; your e-mails about class assignments and [[closeout]]s will come from her.<br />
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====Computer Center====<br />
They are in charge of [[computer]]s, including both students' computers and the [[computer lab]]s. They also administer the Knox servers, which include your [[e-mail]] account, [[webmail]], [[home account]] (where you can store files you work on in computer labs on the server), and the wireless and wired [[Internet]] connections, and network printeres. The [[Computer Help Desk]] is also part of the Center. They maintain a lot of information about how to connect to the network at Knox. They also have a package of antivirus software that you're required to use. Winding up with a virus is no fun, but its less fun when you get quarantined (no internet access) and have to pay them to fix it for you. Their website is [http://www.knox.edu/computercenter.xml here]. The Steves - [[Steve Jones]] and [[Steve Hall]] - run this department.<br />
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===Office of Student Development===<br />
The [[Office of Student Development]] is run by [[Xavier Romano]], Vice President for Student Development and Dean of Students. Xavier likes bow ties, and he probably thinks you're okay too. Xavier controls a [[Xavier Romano's Slush Fund|slush fund]]. Xavier also sends out the e-mail announcing when [[Flunk Day]] season begins, and when it is in fact Flunk Day. [[Debbie Southern]] is the Associate Dean for Student Development, and is in charge of [[Orientation]] and judicial affairs; when [[Campus Safety]] refers you to the Office of Student Development, you make an appointment with her to have your [[consequences|wrist slapped]]. This Office controls primarily nonacademic student affairs, the exception being the [[Center for Teaching and Learning]]. Other subordinate departments include the [[Campus Life Office]], the [[Conduct Council]], the [[Grievance Panel]], the [[Center for Career and Pre-Professional Development]], the [[Center for Community Service]], the [[Center for Intercultural Life]] (which is in charge of advising international students), the [[Counseling Center]], [[Health Services]] (which it outsources), and the [[TRIO Achievement Program]] for low-income students. They work with faculty committees such as the [[Student Life Committee]].<br />
<br />
====Campus Life====<br />
The [[Campus Life Office]], headed by [[Craig Southern]] (Debbie Southern's husband), is in charge of [[housing]] and [[student activities]]. It decides where you will live as a first-year, and it controls the [[Housing Lottery]] for returning students each [[Spring Term]]. It also plans student activities and events, working with [[Union Board]]. If you need to change rooms or register a [[party]], this is your go-to office. [[Cindy Wickliffe]], the secretary, coordinates a lot of campus events, so chances are signups for them will be at her desk. She is also the contact person for [[club]]s who need their [[copy card]] or information on their budgets. She will send you a lot of e-mails. Do not hit reply.<br />
<br />
====Center For Teaching and Learning====<br />
The [[CTL]] is run by [[John Haslem]], and is in charge of [[tutoring]] services. They organize weekly tutoring sessions in the [[Red Room]], and provide other services in that capacity. They also directly administrate the [[TRIO program]]. The CTL is located in a house along [[West St.]]<br />
<br />
====Conduct Council====<br />
The [[Conduct Council]] is the catch-all disciplinary tribunal for students and student organizations – all cases, except those involving academic dishonesty, discrimination, and sexual misconduct, are directed here. They operate by the rules of their constitution, accessible [http://www.knox.edu/x12121.xml here]. They are able to [[expel]] you. If you are cited with an [[alcohol violation]] which you do not admit to (and usually you did do it), you will be brought before the Conduct Council. They won't expel you for that, though – a $40 fine is standard.<br />
<br />
====Grievance Panel====<br />
The [[Grievance Panel]] is convened to hear cases of sexual harassment, discrimination, and sexual misconduct, such as [[rape]]. Since Knox prefers to keep its public reporting requirements down to one rape every other year, it can be difficult to get a good conviction, and in general the Grievance Panel process is convoluted and difficult to use. Conversely, the Galesburg Police Department has no such limit... Their constitution is available [http://www.knox.edu/x12122.xml here].<br />
<br />
===Office of Business, Finance, and Administrative Services===<br />
This department contains the various support services of the college and is run by [[Tom Axtell]], Vice President for Finance and Administrative Services and College Treasurer. Tom Axtell and the finance people calculate [[tuition]] and other fees, and process the money. [[Fundraising]] and the [[endowment]] are the province of the Office of Advancement. Within the Office's voluminous ranks are the [[Business Office]], [[Purchasing]], [[Human Resources]] (for the faculty), [[Postal Services]], the [[Bookstore]], [[Facilities Services]], [[Dining Services]], and [[Campus Safety]].<br />
<br />
====Business Office====<br />
They're the ones you send [[tuition]] to. If you don't pay it on time, [[Penny Young]] will be breathing down your neck. If you're always late she will know your name, and this is a bad thing. If she knows your name, it means she doesn't like you. The Business Office also handles disbursement of checks for [[campus employment]]. They will desperately want you to sign up for [[Direct Deposit]].<br />
<br />
====Postal Services====<br />
The [[mailroom]], basically. [[Neill Unger]] is in charge here. They also have the keys to [[Copy Services]].<br />
<br />
====Bookstore====<br />
Knox's [[bookstore]] is small but determined. They have a wide array of Knox apparel, and some choice books that nobody has ever bought ever, including 50,000 copies of ''[[Colleges That Change Lives]]''. They carry textbooks for [[class]]es, although often the prices are unfathomably high.<br />
<br />
====Facilities Services====<br />
[[Facilities Services|The custodians and maintenance folks]]. They clean your bathroom and take out your garbage, so be nice to them ([[KARES]] handles your [[recycling]] for the time being). They will [[Bed lofting|loft your bed]] if you put in a [[work order]], and they also do various building upkeep and some remodeling work. [[Scott Maust]] heads this department. He likes it when people make tracks in the [[snow]], because then he can see where he needs to build new sidewalks.<br />
<br />
====Dining Services====<br />
[[Dining Services]] includes all dining facilities on the Knox campus and their employees. [[Steve Farris]] was the director, until he passed away suddenly at the beginning of September, 2007. Dining Services is now headed by [[Helmut Mayer]]. Write a comment card to him in German sometime; it's fun. Unlike many other colleges, Dining Services is not outsourced (some time ago, [[Sodexho]] had the contract). The employees have a union and are fairly well-paid for food service workers. The food quality may not be fantastic, but you'll get over it. Actually, you probably won't, but you should. Shut up and eat a [[breakfast bagel]].<br />
<br />
====Campus Safety====<br />
[[Campus Safety]] is the Knox security force. [[John Schlaf]], the former [[Galesburg]] [[Galesburg Police Department|Chief of Police]], heads the department. Although Campus Safety is nominally meant to enforce the law, the college philosophy is to focus on safety instead of the legal [[drinking]] age. Nonetheless, if they see [[beer|it]], they will usually confiscate it.<br />
<br />
==Galesburg==<br />
[[Galesburg]] is a city of 33,000 people. Galesburg was founded along with Knox by abolitionists. Later on, it became a major [[railroad]] hub, and at one point had one of the largest [[railyards]] in [[North America]]. It was also the first yard to use hump-sorting, which is basically putting cars up on a hill and letting them roll where they're supposed to go. The railyards are currently owned by [[Burlington Northern Santa Fe]]. Rail emanates from Galesburg in several different directions, and as such two transcontinental passenger trains, the [[California Zephyr]] and the [[Southwest Chief]], serve Galesburg. The main railroad line runs just along the edge of Knox; the [[Memorial Gym]] is visible from the train when coming in from the west.<br />
<br />
Due to the railroad activity, Galesburg has a dozen sides of the tracks, all of them wrong. Some of them are less wrong than others, though. The least wrong one is the area where most professors live, north of downtown Galesburg past [[Water St.]], along [[Cherry St.]] and environs. Numerous railroad crossings make commutes in Galesburg unpredictable.<br />
<br />
Knox College occupies a position just south of downtown, separating [[downtown]] from Galesburg's [[Meth Lab District]] on the south and west sides of the school.<br />
<br />
===Vitals===<br />
Galesburg's ZIP code is 61401. The area code is 309. Galesburg is part of the 17th district of Illinois for the [[U.S.]] House. It is the county seat of [[Knox County]].<br />
<br />
In 2000, Galesburg's population was 33,706. The median per capita income in 2000 was $17,214, the median household income was $31,987. The median house value was about $65,400. This was previous to the [[Maytag]] closure, so all these numbers have undoubtedly decreased. <br />
<br />
===Climate===<br />
Galesburg is characterized by warm, humid [[summer]]s and cold, somewhat drier [[winter]]s. In the early [[fall]], late [[spring]], and summer, it will be very difficult to live without [[air conditioning]], but most [[residence hall]]s do not offer it. Heating is available using [[radiator]]s. [[Snow]]fall is significant, but there generally are not more than two or three storms a year that bring sufficient snow for sledding. [[Ice storm]]s are fairly common.<br />
<br />
'''Table of Temperature Averages, 1971-2000 (in degrees Fahrenheit)'''<br />
{|<br />
|''Element'' || ''Jan'' || ''Feb'' || ''Mar'' || ''Apr'' || ''May'' || ''Jun'' || ''Jul'' || ''Aug'' || ''Sep'' || ''Oct'' || ''Nov'' || ''Dec'' || ''Annual''<br />
|-<br />
| ''High'' || 29.0 || 35.1 || 47.9 || 61.2 || 72.5 || 81.4 || 84.5 || 81.9 || 74.7 || 62.7 || 46.7 || 33.4 || 59.3<br />
|-<br />
| ''Low'' || 13.5 || 19.2 || 29.4 || 40.2 || 51.4 || 60.8 || 65.3 || 63.2 || 54.7 || 42.9 || 30.8 || 19.2 || 40.9<br />
|-<br />
| ''Mean'' || 21.3 || 27.2 || 38.7 || 50.7 || 62.0 || 71.1 || 74.9 || 72.6 || 64.7 || 52.8 || 38.8 || 26.3 || 50.1<br />
|-<br />
| ''HDD'' || 1356 || 1059 || 817 || 434 || 176 || 17 || 5 || 17 || 92 || 386 || 788 || 1200 || 6347<br />
|-<br />
| ''CDD'' || 0 || 0 || 0 || 5 || 81 || 200 || 312 || 252 || 83 || 8 || 0 || 0 || 941<br />
|}<br />
''NOTE: HDD and CDD are Heating and Cooling Degree Days, the number of degrees the air must be heated or cooled to reach a base temperature of 65 degrees Fahrenheit.''<br />
<br />
'''Table of Rainfall Precipitation Averages, 1971-2000 (in inches)'''<br />
{|<br />
|''Element'' || ''Jan'' || ''Feb'' || ''Mar'' || ''Apr'' || ''May'' || ''Jun'' || ''Jul'' || ''Aug'' || ''Sep'' || ''Oct'' || ''Nov'' || ''Dec'' || ''Annual''<br />
|-<br />
|''Prec.'' || 1.41 || 1.55 || 2.84 || 3.81 || 3.97 || 4.18 || 4.37 || 4.07 || 3.50 || 2.52 || 2.72 || 2.28 || 37.22<br />
|}<br />
<br />
'''Table of Snowfall Precipitation Averages, 1971-2000 (in inches)'''<br />
{|<br />
|''Element'' || ''Jan'' || ''Feb'' || ''Mar'' || ''Apr'' || ''May'' || ''Jun'' || ''Jul'' || ''Aug'' || ''Sep'' || ''Oct'' || ''Nov'' || ''Dec'' || ''Annual''<br />
|-<br />
|''Snow'' || 8.3 || 5.2 || 2.8 || 1.5 || 0.0 || 0.0 || 0.0 || 0.0 || 0.0 || 0.1 || 1.8 || 5.8 || 25.5<br />
|}<br />
<br />
''Climate data obtained from the Illinois State Climatologist Office's State Water Survey, accessible [http://www.sws.uiuc.edu/atmos/statecli/Summary/Illinois.htm here].''<br />
<br />
===Address System===<br />
Galesburg, like many cities, is organized on a grid system, with address numbers radiating out from a central zero point. In Galesburg, that zero point is the [[Public Square]] roundabout at the intersection of [[Main Street|Main]] and [[Broad Street|Broad]] streets. Main runs east-west, and Broad runs north-south. Cardinal directions are used on most street names to distinguish between north and south or east and west addresses (for instance, [[Old Main]]'s address is 2 East [[South St.]], which places it just east of Broad St. along South St.). This leads to inadvertently funny street combinations, like the intersection of South [[West Street|West]] and West South streets.<br />
<br />
===Background===<br />
Galesburg has long been a railroad town. It also used to have a large [[Maytag]] refrigerator plant. That plant was the area's largest employer, until the Maytag company decided to pack up the profitable Galesburg plant and move it to [[Reynosa, Mexico]]. Decisions like this ultimately destabilized Maytag, and now the brand is owned by Whirlpool. There is little love for Maytag in Galesburg; one organization bought one of the last Galesburg Maytag refrigerators and a sledgehammer and held a $2 a whack fundraiser. They raised a lot of money. Since then the economy has been flagging – a number of the stores [[downtown]] have closed, and some people have left the area. Many have gone to school to retrain for other work, flooding the nursing market, for instance. Some [[Non-traditional student|attended Knox for a few years]]. Other Maytag employees have ended up working at Knox, including a substantial number in [[Dining Services]].<br />
<br />
While Maytag is the most recent and the touchstone example, it is one in a long string of setbacks for Galesburg, including the withdrawal of the [[Galesburg Mental Health Center]], the [[Gale Products Manufacturing Division]] of Outboard Marine Corp., and others, resulting in the loss of nearly 8000 good-paying union jobs.<br />
<br />
Galesburg has also been hit with [[methamphetamines]], which for many is now a popular pastime. The town has been working at getting on its feet, attempting to use its railroad proximity to attract [[China|Chinese]] investors, with some success. Still, the area's largest employer is [[Farmland Foods]], a pig slaughterhouse in [[Monmouth]]. [[Burlington Northern Santa Fe]], Knox, and the local community college, [[Carl Sandburg College]], are major employers as well. <br />
<br />
Galesburg will soon be home to the [[Railroad Hall of Fame]]. It is also the site of [[Railroad Days]] and the national [[Stearman Fly-In]].<br />
<br />
===Downtown Galesburg===<br />
Downtown Galesburg is, more or less, the area bordered by [[South St.]] to the south, [[North St.]] to the north, [[West St.]] to the west, and [[Seminary St.]] to the east. The entirety is within easy walking distance of the college.<br />
<br />
Seminary St. is the restored old-timey city center. A developer came in and paved the street with brick, and put $1000 a month apartments on the upper floors of the shops, apparently thinking that he was in Martha's Vineyard at the time. It is nonetheless a nice area, if sometimes a little upmarket for college students. Strung along Seminary are [[Innkeeper's Coffee]], [[Cornucopia]] (a miniature Trader Joe's sort of natural foods place), [[Uncle Billy's Bakery]] (connected to Cornucopia – the spinach bread is the single best thing about Galesburg), [[Chez Willy's]] (as haute cuisine as Galesburg will ever get, but rather expensive), [[Stone Alley Books and Collectibles]] (amazing), [[The Landmark]] (not quite as formal, a little less expensive, and also very good – try the lobster bisque), [[The Packinghouse]] (a steakhouse, just off Seminary on Mulberry St.), the [[Seminary St. Pub]], a [[wine bar]] on the street behind Seminary (Chambers St.), and the Amtrak station.<br />
<br />
[[Cherry St.]] is three blocks east of Seminary, and is the locus of the [[Local bars|bar scene]], with [[McGillacuddy's]] (which is where [[Jazz Night]] is held on Thursdays, open to all ages), [[Cherry Street Bar and Grill]], [[GP's Lounge]], and [[Duffy's]].<br />
<br />
[[Main St.]] also has a number of destinations. Along Main you will find the [[Dollar General]] thrift store, [[Joy Garden]] Chinese takeout and delivery, most of the banks including a [[Wells Fargo]] and an [[Associated Bank]], and the [[Broadview]]. In terms of bars there is [[Crappy's]], [[La Mesa]], and [[Big John's Silver Dollar Saloon]].<br />
<br />
Other popular places downtown include [[Pizza House]] and [[Kaldi's]] (both on [[Simmons St.]]). The [[Knox County Courthouse]] is an old-looking building with a tower, located at Cherry and South streets. The local congressman, [[Phil Hare]], has his district office near Broad and Water streets. The [[Galesburg Public Library]] is located at Simmons and Broad, and the [[Galesburg City Hall]] on Broad between Simmons and [[Tompkins Street|Tompkins]] streets. The tallest building in Galesburg is the fifteen-story round brick building at the corner of Simmons and [[Cedar Street|Cedar]] streets. It holds old people. The [[Knox County Jail]] and the offices of the [[Register-Mail]] newspaper are located on [[Prairie St.]], between Simmons St. and Tompkins St. The [[Orpheum Theatre]] is on [[Kellogg Street]], just south of Main.<br />
<br />
Many of Knox's off-campus students live in the downtown area. Examples include the [[Dude Ranch]], [[Graveyard House]], and the [[Yellow Apartments]].<br />
<br />
===North Henderson Street===<br />
The other major shopping district in Galesburg is the area around North [[Henderson Street]] and [[Carl Sandburg Drive]]. This is the more typical big-box [[suburb]]an shopping area, and generally you have to access it by car. It features the [[Carl Sandburg Mall]], which is basically a [[Sears]], [[K-Mart]], [[JC Penney]], and [[Bergner's]] with a few shops in the hallways between them. A [[Hy-Vee]] grocery store is there, and there is a [[Target]] just west of Henderson on Carl Sandburg. The [[YMCA]] and the [[Showplace 8]] movie theater are further along Carl Sandburg, near the intersection with [[Fremont St.]] There is a [[Staples]] on National Blvd., but the turnoff is confusing and half the time you'll end up on [[Highway 34]], so it's easier to head to the [[Lowe's]] parking lot off Carl Sandburg east of Henderson, and cut through there. Further south on Henderson, there is a sex shop, [[Romantix]], located at the intersection of Henderson and Losey streets. There is also a standalone [[Hy-Vee Wine and Spirits]] on Henderson, and an [[Econofoods]]. There are several restaurants along the road, including [[Old Peking]], [[New China Buffet]], the [[Rib Shack]], [[Perkins]], [[La Gondola]], and fast food restaurants like [[Taco Bell]] and [[Arby's]].<br />
<br />
===Eastern Galesburg===<br />
The area east of the [[BNSF]] mainline is less traveled by Knox students, but has some useful resources. The popular Mexican restaurant [[Jalisco's]] and another [[Hy-Vee]] (with an attached [[Hy-Vee Wine and Spirits]]), are all on [[Main St.]] The [[Carl Sandburg]] birthplace is a favorite for nighttime pilgrimages, and is located at the corner of [[Third Street|Third]] and [[Kellogg Street|Kellogg]] streets, accessible from the [[Third Street Overpass]].<br />
<br />
===North Cherry Street===<br />
[[Cherry St.]] north of downtown has some of Galesburg's nicest houses, and thus most of the professors live in this area. [[Cottage Hospital]], the main hospital for students, is located at the corner of Kellogg and Losey streets.<br />
<br />
===Outside of Town===<br />
[[Lake Storey]] is a lake north of [[Highway 34]] off of Henderson St. It has a playground and some boat rides, and a nice park. You can't really swim in the thing though.<br />
<br />
The [[Hill Correctional Center]] is Galesburg's lovely prison. It is located on the southwest edge of town, on N [[Linwood Road]].<br />
<br />
Next to the prison is the old [[Maytag]] plant, off of [[Monmouth Blvd.]]<br />
<br />
==ID Cards and Faces==<br />
All Knox students receive an [[ID card]]. The ID card contains the [[student]]'s name, photograph, ID number, date of birth, and the card's expiration date (one week after the expected date of graduation). The ID card is grey, and the photograph is generally ugly. The cards are not particularly durable, and even after less than one year the lamination will peel, the photograph will fade (and none too soon), and and card body may even start to crack. Some student punch holes in their cards so they can be put on keyrings, but this greatly reduces the life of the card. The back of the card has a magnetic strip for use in swiping [[meals]] and using [[Dining Dollars]] and [[Flex Dollars]]. There are plans to integrate card-swipe entry for [[residence hall]] doors, but as yet there are none with this feature.<br />
<br />
ID cards are made in the [[Dining Services]] office, which is accessed from outside of [[Seymour]] just west of the [[Caf]]. [[Orientation]] groups are assigned to go together to get their ID photos taken, but it is easy enough to go before the scheduled trips start and get it done with no wait at all.<br />
<br />
The photograph taken for your ID photo also ends up on [[Faces]], the student directory. It also ends up on your [[EDR]] and on the attendance sheets for every [[class]] you ever take. That photograph will haunt you until you [[graduate]].<br />
<br />
Lost ID card replacement costs $15. If you want your picture retaken, and the new picture promulgated to Faces and everywhere else, it will set you back $25.<br />
<br />
Your ID number will show up on your ID card as nine digits, but only the last six digits are your real ID number. This number is useful for all sorts of things, so it's good to memorize it. You can find out the ID numbers of other people by going into Faces – the photograph filenames are the ID numbers. This is useful during [[Housing Lottery]].<br />
<br />
==Meals and Eating==<br />
This section deals with your meal plan and dining options.<br />
<br />
===Meal Plan===<br />
Nearly all Knox students are required to purchase a [[meal plan]], which makes up the [[board]] costs of [[tuition]]. A few exceptions are made for students living [[off-campus]] and those with real or faked medical problems. If you're desperate to get off board, a note from your doctor to [[Helmut Mayer]] will do it, although they will not be pleased. Acid reflux disease is a pretty good excuse. A gluten allergy is even better. If you are unfortunately bereft of these afflictions, then "fake it till you make it," as it were, and get your family doctor to lie for you.<br />
<br />
For everyone else, there are five meal plans, all of which cost $1020 per [[term]], or $3060 per year.<br />
<br />
{|<br />
| || '''Meals/Term''' || '''Guest Meals''' || '''Dining Dollars''' || '''Price Per Meal'''<br />
|-<br />
|'''Premier 200''' || 200 || 20 || $75 || $4.73<br />
|-<br />
|'''Premier 150''' || 150 || 15 || $150 || $5.80<br />
|-<br />
|'''Premier 125''' || 125 || 12 || $190 || $6.64<br />
|-<br />
|'''Premier 100''' || 100 || 10 || $225 || $7.95<br />
|-<br />
|'''Premier 75''' || 75 || 7 || $265 || $10.07<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Meals are counted in swipes, and are redeemable at the [[Caf]] and the [[Oak Room]] as one swipe per meal. One can also use them at the [[Grab-n-Go]] locations, where each food item has a point value, and 10 points equals one swipe.<br />
<br />
Guest meals are like meals, but they cannot be used on you. They can be used for visitors, or for fellow students who have lost their cards.<br />
<br />
[[Dining Dollars]] are basically debit cash. They are redeemable only at the [[Gizmo]] and the [[C-Store]], and one Dining Dollar is equal to one [[U.S.]] dollar.<br />
<br />
[[Flex Dollars]], which are not mentioned in the table above, can be optionally added to your card in various increments. They can be used at the Gizmo and the C-Store as well, although Dining Dollars are more common, so if you use Flex Dollars you need to specify that to the cashier. Flex Dollars may also be used on college [[copy machine]]s.<br />
<br />
Keep in mind that meals and dining dollars are not transferable, and they do not roll over to the next term, so don't get the plan with 200 meals if you aren't going to use them. Many students with a huge overage of meals like to buy large amounts of [[soda]] at the Grab-n-Go near the end of each term, but the Grab-n-Go workers quickly tire of this.<br />
<br />
===Dining Options===<br />
The daily and weekly menus can be found on the right-hand side of the [http://www.knox.edu/current-students.html "Current Students"] section of the Knox website.<br />
<br />
====The Hard Knox Café (The Caf)====<br />
This is the main eating area, featuring varyingly mediocre buffet-style food with a mid-80s hospital ambience. The offerings change daily, although there are a number of mainstays. There are a number of [[vegetarian]] options, although [[vegan]]s will be somewhat more limited.<br />
<br />
=====Breakfast=====<br />
The Caf offers a small [[breakfast]] on most mornings, including a limited omelette bar, and some small variety of breakfast food, including a wide variety of cereals. [[Sunday brunch]] is much more extensive, as it is basically lunch, and offers breakfast staples such as pancakes and the omelette bar along with Sunday brunch specials like chicken strips and tortellini.<br />
<br />
From Monday to Saturday breakfast is offered from 7:30-10:00AM. Sunday brunch is available from 10:00AM to 2:00PM.<br />
<br />
=====Lunch=====<br />
At [[lunch]] there is a larger variety of food, including pasta, a salad bar, soup, a hamburger grill, pizza, and a sandwich bar, plus offerings that change from day to day. There is a toaster oven available. Dessert options, including ice cream, a baked special, and cereal are also available.<br />
<br />
Lunch is available from 11:00AM to 2:00PM. Sunday brunch is 10:00AM to 2:00PM.<br />
<br />
=====Dinner=====<br />
[[Dinner]] features the same offerings as lunch, except that the sandwich bar is reduced in size to make way for the [[wok station]], which is sort of a miniature Mongolian BBQ thing. Sometimes there is a [[personal pizza bar]] instead.<br />
<br />
Dinner is available from 4:30PM to 7:30PM, seven days a week.<br />
<br />
====Oak Room====<br />
The [[Oak Room]] is located right next to the Caf. The atmosphere and the food in the Oak Room are somewhat better, generally, but the Oak Room only offers a small menu each day, and is single-pass instead of buffet, so it is much less popular. It has ample seating, and is quieter than the Caf. Students getting food at the Oak Room can have their hand stamped for re-entry to the Caf, where they can take their food and have access to the Caf's buffet as well.<br />
<br />
The Oak Room is open for lunch Monday through Friday from 11:00AM to 1:30PM, and for dinner Monday through Thursday from 5:00PM to 7:00PM. It is closed on weekends, in part so that local high schools can hold their proms there.<br />
<br />
====Gizmo====<br />
The [[Gizmo]] is a snack bar and short-order grill, open all day. Its offerings include soft drinks, coffee, a sub bar, grilled items such as hamburgers and chicken sandwiches, various breakfast items, [[bagel pizza|bagel]] and personal pizzas, and a daily special available during lunchtime. It is most famous for its [[breakfast bagel]].<br />
<br />
The Gizmo is open on Monday through Thursday from 10:00AM to 1:00AM. On Friday and Saturday it is open from 10:00AM to 12:00AM. On Sunday it is open from 2:00PM to 1:00AM. Lunch specials are available while the other eateries are serving lunch. The sub bar generally closes two hours before the Gizmo closes, and the grill closes a half hour before closing.<br />
<br />
====Grab-n-Go====<br />
The [[Grab-n-Go]] is a quick bagged lunch for people who are in too much of a hurry to go to the Gizmo, but not in enough hurry to skip a long line. It offers a daily-changing selection of sandwiches, sides, and drinks. There is one Grab-n-Go in [[Seymour Hall]], and another in [[Post Lobby]].<br />
<br />
====Breakfast Grab-n-Go====<br />
The [[Breakfast Grab-N-Go]] is located in the [[Oak Room]] and works much the same as the lunch one, except with breakfast food and much shorter lines.<br />
<br />
====Outpost====<br />
Don't call it the Outpost, call it the [[C-Store]]. It offers the widest range of drinks on campus, as well as condiments, microwave food, ice, chips, some basic groceries and hygiene products, prophylactics, and over-the-counter medicines. It does not sell [[alcohol]] or [[tobacco]]. The prices and selection are sometimes better at [[Quick Sam's]], and the hours are certainly longer. However, the C-store defnintely carries more natural food/organic/grocery items than the Quickie.<br />
<br />
The C-Store is open Monday through Friday from 8:30AM to 11:00PM, and Saturday and Sunday from 12:00PM to 10:00PM.<br />
<br />
==Advisors and Picking Classes==<br />
Each [[student]], upon matriculation, is assigned their very own [[advisor]], whom they share with some number of other [[first-year]]s, as well as three classes' worth of other students. [[Professor]]s who are in their first year of teaching at Knox are not permitted to take on advisees. For first-years the professor assignment is random, since your [[major]] has not been declared; once your major is declared you have one advisor of your choice (and their consent) for each major, although most people generally decide on one as their primary advisor for picking [[class]]es.<br />
<br />
During [[First-Year Orientation]], as mentioned before, professors are supposed to invite incoming students over for dinner in order to pad the [[admission]] brochures, give [[Dining Services]] some grace time to get their act together, and to a lesser extent to get to know them and have them get to know each other.<br />
<br />
Classes are picked in an advisor's office, by appointments – most advisors have sign-ups posted on their doors for each [[pre-enrollment]] period. At the appointment, there may be some discussion of your academic track and so on, based on whatever your circumstances are. If you haven't yet done so, they may start urging you to figure out your major or work on your [[Educational Development Plan]]. The professor reviews your [[EDR]], and then ultimately you are allowed to pick classes, which usually you have pre-selected using the [[class schedule]] mailed to you (either to home for incoming first-years or to your campus mailbox for all other terms). The professor enters your selections into the computer, and undertakes (or not, as the case may be) to give "instructor permission" or override prerequisites.<br />
<br />
If a chosen class is nearly full, they may encourage students with less seniority to take something else. After the pre-enrollment period, the numbers are totaled up, and after setting aside spaces for the sign-ups who have to have the class, they perform a lottery for everyone else. This is intended to keep it fair between early and late sign-ups; however, since advisors can see the current totals, you're more likely to get placed in your top choices, at least at first, if you sign up early.<br />
<br />
==Campus Employment==<br />
Most [[campus employment]] opportunities are offered with prejudice to students who have [[work-study]] allotments as part of their [[Financial Aid]] package. Some programs allow non-work-study students to sign up several weeks into the term, if there is any space remaining, and some of the less formal ones don't necessarily care as much one way or the other.<br />
<br />
Work-study allotments can be for up to ten hours a week, which, under the $7.50 minimum wage in effect for 2007-2008, amounts to about $2250 for the year. You actually pay to the school the entirety of the allotment as part of the [[tuition]] checks; the actual work-study done is then "reimbursed" to you through paychecks. The caveat here is that few students will get paychecks amounting to the full amount. The income, after all, may be taxable. Also, there is a shortage of work-study positions on campus (at the very least, while there is a mathematical equality, the actual difficulties of holding multiple work-study jobs to fill smaller voids lead to some amount of de facto campus unemployment or underemployment).<br />
<br />
For incoming first-years there is a [[job fair]] held in [[CFA]]. Those who don't get offers from that may have to go around to specific places and ask (this is how it's done for everyone else). The [[Dining Services]] office, where your [[ID card]] was made, is where signups are for all Dining Services positions.<br />
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Student employee positions are of three types: monitors (for instance in the computer labs), service employees (for instance in Dining Services), and office-ish work ([[libraries]], [[publication]] [[editor]]s, and sundry departments).<br />
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However, there are also departmental jobs that you gain after a year of being at school, most notably through the [[Theatre]] which includes jobs of skill like the [[Scene Shop]], [[Costume Shop]], and Departmental Dramaturg.<br />
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Generally, the least desirable positions are considered to be those in Dining Services and [[Facilities Services]]. The most desirable positions are library jobs and some of the office work, most of which is only available to returning students who have a rapport with the particular office. Facilities and Dining positions aren't necessarily bad, however, and some students have opted to work in the same position for several years at a time. Dining Services is also first-come, first-serve, and does not offer advantage based on seniority. The [[Gizmo]] used to run its schedule separately and did give weight to seniority, but then Dining Services stole it. The other big advantage to Dining Services work is that it offers a $100 bonus beyond one's work-study allotment for students who work 90% of their scheduled shifts.<br />
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Many positions must tabulate their hours using [[KRONOS]], the employment computer system. Some Dining Services employees only have to swipe their ID card in and out. Some of the office positions have tallying by hand, or are basically salaried for a particular number of hours regardless of what is worked.<br />
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===Off-Campus===<br />
Some students choose to work off-campus. Some places employing students are [[Innkeeper's]], [[Kaldi's]], [[Chez Willy's]], and [[Cornucopia]]. Those with cars and a lot of time may commute to Peoria or the Quad Cities to work.<br />
<br />
==Honor Code==<br />
The [[Honor Code]] is Knox's policy of academic honesty. It was adopted in 1951. Many students have learned all about the principles of academic honesty in [[high school]]; some haven't; some haven't and think they have. All students, regardless of prior instruction in the matter, should thoroughly read the Honor Code booklet, which is sent to all first-years by mail. Knox considers all students as having read and agreed to it by matriculating, and thus students will be held fully liable for failure to comply with the Honor Code. A PDF copy of the pamphlet is available [http://www.knox.edu/prebuilt/PDFs/HonorBooklet.pdf here].<br />
<br />
The Honor Code basically says that the school trusts students not to cheat, but if they do the school will pull no punches. As part of the trust component, professors are not supposed to monitor students during exams, and students are allowed to take exams anywhere in the building (except bathrooms and other nonpublic areas). However, students are expected to report suspicious behavior to the [[Honor Board]], and professors are required to – they are not allowed to deal with cases of alleged academic dishonesty informally.<br />
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===Honor Board===<br />
The [[Honor Board]] is the enforcer of the Honor Code, and the tribunal for students accused of academic dishonesty. It is comprised of nine students, three from each class, as well as two members of the faculty. The co-chairs of Honor Board for 2009-2010 are [[Carrie Bueche]] and [[Hannah Cynn]]. <br />
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When a student is accused of academic dishonesty, the Honor Board is convened to hear the evidence and various sides of the story. Verdicts have generally been for guilty, since Knox makes it rather difficult to get caught in the first place. The standard penalty for the first offense is an F in the class; for the second, [[expulsion]]. Deviations are rarely made, and certainly not for professed ignorance. Again, you should probably read that pamphlet.<br />
<br />
Honor Board decisions may be appealed on three grounds: new evidence, procedural error, or Honor Board bias. Appeals are heard by an appeals committee consisting of the [[Dean of the College]] and one Honor Board member.<br />
<br />
If you are wealthy, or your parents are [[alumni]] and/or have been generous in their giving to the school, certain officials of the [[administration]] have been rumored to be willing to intervene on your behalf in order to satisfy [[financial impregnability|higher goals]]. The reality and frequency of this intervention is unclear.<br />
<br />
==Campus Safety and Discipline==<br />
[[Campus Safety]] is Knox's security force. They make rounds of the school, unprop doors, pour out beer, and the like. Sometimes they drive around in a heavy-duty golf cart. Their Knox extension is x7979.<br />
<br />
Campus Safety maintains the emergency phones located throughout campus (they have blue lights on them). They manage keys, and maintain the [[Escort]] program for nighttime walking. If you need to get into a campus building (such as [[WVKC]]), or you are locked out of your room, Campus Safety lets you in. You get two free [[lockout]]s for your room each year, and after that they charge you. Lost keys cost $50 to replace.<br />
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Campus Safety also breaks up [[parties]], or drops in on registered parties to ensure that there is not any illicit [[alcohol]] service. However, on the whole they are more concerned with making sure nobody is in danger, and only address alcohol violations when they are obvious.<br />
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[[John Schlaf]], the [[Campus Safety Director]], used to be the Chief of the [[Galesburg Police Department]], so Knox and the GPD have a close working relationship.<br />
<br />
===Alcohol Violation===<br />
If you are caught in an alcohol violation, one of two things may happen to you. At a large party, for instance, your drink may be confiscated without consequence. However, at smaller events he will ask for your ID card, and from it ascertain your name and date of birth. If you don't have it on you they will identify you from [[Faces]]. You will be cited, and within a few days the [[Office of Student Development]] will contact you to have you make an appointment with [[Debbie Southern]]. The proceedings for this are not sent home, even if you are on break, and your parents are not informed, even if you are a minor at the time. At your appointment, Debbie Southern tells you your options, and you can either admit the crime and pay the fine or go to a [[Conduct Council]] hearing to deny it. Sometimes she will dismiss the case herself if you have sufficient evidence to your benefit. The procedure is not at all harrowing, and the questioning is very limited. The standard fine for an alcohol violation is $40, payable in cash or as an addition to the student account at the [[Business Office]].<br />
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Also, be nice to Debbie, she is not evil and is not out to get you. She's a geniunely nice person and understands college life, possibly better than some of the students. You have nothing to gain from going into her office in a bad mood and defenses up. She's not going to yell at you or make you feel bad. She just needs to know what happened.<br />
<br />
==Student Government==<br />
Knox maintains a substantial student government in order to, at least in theory, ensure the students' voice is heard. Which students? Well, that's a matter for debate.<br />
<br />
The chief part of student government is the [[Student Senate]]. The other major entity is [[Union Board]]. There is also an [[Intramurals Board]] and two Greek governance organizations, the [[Interfraternity Council]] and the [[Panhellenic Council]]. [[Honor Board]], [[Conduct Council]], and the [[Grievance Panel]] have significant student roles, but have been described above.<br />
<br />
===Student Senate===<br />
[[Student Senate]] is the [[Knox]] [[student]] body's primary legislative organization. It seats fifty senators, elected using plurality bloc voting by single- and multi-member districts, which are currently drawn by Senate's [[Executive Board]] each year. The Executive Board is comprised of a President, a Vice-President, a Treasurer, a Communications Officer, and the chairs of five committees (totaling eight, since the Treasurer is chair of the [[Finance Committee]]). Each of the fifty members of Senate belongs to one of these committees. Students are also drawn from Senate to serve as student representatives on faculty committees.<br />
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Elections for district senators take place during [[Fall Term]] each year, and those elected take their seats by the beginning of October. Elections for officers take place each [[Spring Term]].<br />
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Senate has advisory powers on all aspects of Knox's governance, and may pass resolutions expressing the sense of the Senate and its recommendations. These are often ignored; sometimes they are not. Senate members also work within the faculty committees and with the administration to effect their wishes. Senate's primary special power is the allotment of budget money to the various clubs on campus, both in yearly budgets and through the [[Senate Discretionary Fund]].<br />
<br />
Senate meets in the [[Round Room]] in [[CFA]] on Thursdays at 7:00PM. <br />
<br />
====Criticism of Student Senate====<br />
Student Senate has borne criticism on many different issues over the past several years. What democracy exists in the Senate was only introduced about five years ago, when Senate was changed from a self-appointing body to an elected one. However, some trends against democracy have been noted.<br />
<br />
In [[Spring Term 2007]], Senate voted to limit those eligible to run for President to those who had served on Senate for a year. This was an attempt to ensure that the chair of Senate meetings was already familiar with the procedures, but it was seen by many as a step away from democracy.<br />
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Moreover, after Senate adjourned for [[Summer Break 2007]], the incoming Executive Board, using a questionable interpretation of the [[Text of Student Senate Constitution and By-Laws|Senate Constitution]], amended the By-Laws to [[Student Senate#Executive Board By-Laws Rewrite 2007|drastically alter key parts of Senate procedures]], so that all resolutions proposed by Student Senate would have to go through committee. This means that the Executive Board now has power to approve or deny the passage of a resolution based upon the opinions of an eight-person Executive Board, or even so small a group as the committee chair or the Senate President. Many senators have protested what appears, to them, to be a reduction to rubber-stamp status, without an opportunity to vote on it; the Executive Board intends to introduce the changes at the first Senate meeting as a fait accompli.<br />
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Senate's electoral procedures have also been under fire in the past. Senate currently allows the Vice-President to draw new districts each year, leading to arbitrary and inconsistent district shapes and sizes. Some have alleged that this has also resulted in gerrymandering, most notably increasing the representation of certain small groups, of which [[TKE]] is the most notable. The use of plurality bloc voting, which allows voters to vote for as many candidates as there are positions, ensures that a small bloc of people voting together can disproportionately control the outcome in the district.<br />
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There are fears that the current Executive Board will prove to be more amenable to the interests of the administration than those of the students.<br />
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Publicity is also an issue. While Senate meetings are open to the public, the minutes taken and distributed to the school are not complete, and often butcher whatever the speakers were saying. Committee meetings are open to the public, but no minutes are taken. Executive Board meetings generally do not encourage public involvement, and no minutes are taken. This is especially notable because the Executive Board has directed more decisions through these less public channels.<br />
<br />
===Union Board===<br />
The [[Union Board]] is in charge of organizing major events on campus of all different shapes and sizes. They are most famous for organizing [[Flunk Day]].<br />
Union Board regularly receives criticism for the events it holds. When it was holding a number of smaller events, students wanted one big event. When they brought in [[Pablo Francisco]] (the biggest comedian Knox has the clout to book), the students didn't like it. Union Board cannot please all the people all the time.<br />
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Then again, there are many who would say they pleased nobody.<br />
<br />
===Intramurals Board===<br />
The Intramurals Board is the organization in charge of intramural sports, such as [[Ultimate Frisbee]] or [[Dodgeball]] and more traditional sports. They are much less formalized and skill-conscious than the [[Athletics Department]].<br />
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===Interfraternity and Panhellenic councils===<br />
The [[Interfraternity Council]] and the [[Panhellenic Council]] are the governing bodies for male and female Greek organizations. They address some judicial matters as well as plan events and so forth.<br />
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==Publications and Radio==<br />
Knox maintains several [[publication]]s and one [[WVKC|radio station]]. Most of these publications are overseen and funded through the [[Broadcast, Internet, and Publications Board]] (Board of Publications), a subcommittee of the [[Student Life Committee]].<br />
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===''The Knox Student''===<br />
''[[The Knox Student]]'', known informally as ''TKS'', is the school newspaper. It comes out weekly on Thursdays. It contains a large variety of information, including feature articles and news, outdated information about last week's Student Senate proceedings, national and international news briefs, the [[Campus Safety Log]] (a list of all [[Campus Safety]] reports and citations, including fire alarms and alcohol violations), movie and music reviews, the [[Mosaic]] culture section, the [[Discourse]] op-ed section, and a sports section. The newspaper office is in the [[S.S. McClure Publications Office]] in Seymour. ''TKS'' is funded through the Board of Publications.<br />
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===''Catch''===<br />
''[[Catch]]'' is Knox's award-winning literary journal. It features mainly creative writing such as short stories and poetry, as well as some [[photography]] for aesthetic appeal. Other genres, such as journalism or critical works, are sometimes accepted, but generally if they offer interest in the [[Creative Writing]] sphere only. Each ''Catch'' issue (there are two each year) is designed differently, with a level of complexity ranging from boringly elegant to matchbook-pasted-to-the-front-cover pretentious. ''Catch'' is a selective publication, and those pieces that are accepted are edited at the whims of the editors. The selection process is blind to help reduce bias. The ''Catch'' office is in the S.S. McClure Publications Office in Seymour. The current Editors-in-Chief are [[Brian Lowe]] and [[Alice Holbrook]]. ''Catch'' is funded through the Board of Publications.<br />
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===''Cellar Door''===<br />
''[[Cellar Door]]'' is a more inclusive literary journal that focuses less on production and more on workshopping and the writing process. It is published about twice a year, using simple staple-bound newsprint. Each issue concentrates on a general theme, such as "Family" or "[[Suburb]]ia." ''Cellar Door'' features articles by [[faculty]] and others as well as by students. All submissions are accepted, so long as the writer is amenable to the workshopping process. Submitters are also required to sign a declaration saying that they love their work. If you don't love your work, stick with ''Catch''. ''Cellar Door'' is funded through the Board of Publications.<br />
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===''Quiver''===<br />
''[[Quiver]]'' is a webzine collective started by several students and [[Robin Metz]]. It is comprised of three separate zines: ''[[The Third Level]]'', which publishes science fiction and fantasy; ''[[Wynken, Blynken, and Nod]]'', which publishes children's literature; and ''[[Diminished Capacity]]'', which publishes humor. Submissions are read collectively by ''Quiver's'' entire editorial board, but each webzine is managed by three of its own editors. It is currently not funded.<br />
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===''The Common Room''===<br />
''[[The Common Room]]'' is an online journal of [[Literature|literary criticism]], begun in response to ''Catch'', which covers the Creative Writing aspects of the [[English Department]]. It is currently not funded.<br />
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===WVKC===<br />
[[WVKC]] (The Voice) is Knox's radio station. The studio is located on the fourth floor of [[GDH]]. Almost all of the DJs are students; there is a signup and orientation meeting near the beginning of each term, advertised throughout campus. WVKC's frequency is 90.7 FM, and the broadcasting radius reaches about 55,000 area residents. WVKC is funded through the Board of Publications.<br />
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==Clubs==<br />
The majority of student activities at Knox come under the auspices of the various student clubs. These clubs receive their funding from Student Senate, and use it as they see fit (subject to various regulations) to produce events and further causes.<br />
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At the beginning of each school year there is a [[Club Fair]] where students can sign up to be on the mailing lists of various clubs.<br />
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===Academic Clubs===<br />
* [[Anthropology and Sociology Club]]<br />
* [[Business Club]]<br />
* [[Chemistry Club]]<br />
* [[Classics Club]]<br />
* [[Educational Studies Club]]<br />
* [[French Club]]<br />
* [[Friends of Green Oaks]]<br />
* [[German Club]]<br />
* [[History Club]]<br />
* [[Photography Club]]<br />
* [[Physics Club]]<br />
* [[Pre-Law Club]]<br />
* [[Pre-Med Club]]<br />
* [[Rocketry Club]]<br />
* [[Spanish Club]]<br />
* [[Speech and Debate]]<br />
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===Community Service Clubs===<br />
* [[Alpha Phi Omega]]<br />
* [[Best Buddies]]<br />
* [[Circle K]]<br />
* [[Habitat for Humanity]]<br />
* [[Invisible Children]]<br />
* [[KARES]] (Knox Advocates for Recycling and Environmental Support)<br />
* [[Knox Community Garden]]<br />
* [[Odyssey Mentoring Program]]<br />
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===Cultural and Political Clubs===<br />
* [[AAINA]] (Southern Asian student group)<br />
* [[ABLE]] (Allied Blacks for Liberty and Equality)<br />
* [[Alliance for Peaceful Action]]<br />
* [[Amnesty International]]<br />
* [[Anime Club]]<br />
* [[Art Club]]<br />
* [[Asian Students Association]] (ASA)<br />
* [[Chinese Club]]<br />
* [[Common Ground]] (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender group)<br />
* [[Estudiantes Sin Frontieras]] (Students Without Borders)<br />
* [[Food for Thought]]<br />
* [[Harambee Club]]<br />
* [[International Club]]<br />
* [[Knox Democrats]]<br />
* [[Knox Republicans]]<br />
* [[Korean Club]]<br />
* [[Lo Nuestro]]<br />
* [[Making Things]]<br />
* [[Model United Nations]]<br />
* [[Non-Traditional Students Club]]<br />
* [[SASS]] (Students Against Sexism in Society)<br />
* [[SHAG]] (Student Health Advocacy Group)<br />
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===Literature and Media (excepting Publications)===<br />
* [[Caxton Club]]<br />
* [[Film Production Club]]<br />
* [[Off Knox]]<br />
* [[Quiver Club]]<br />
* [[Writers' Forum]]<br />
* [[Zine Club!]]<br />
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===Performing Arts===<br />
* [[Chamber Singers]]<br />
* [[Galesburg Community Chorus]]<br />
* [[Jazz Combos]]<br />
* [[Knox College Choir]]<br />
* [[Knox Jazz Ensemble]]<br />
* [[Knox-Galesburg Symphony]]<br />
* [[Knox-Sandburg Community Band]]<br />
* [[Men's Ensemble]]<br />
* [[Sigma Alpha Iota]]<br />
* [[String Ensemble]]<br />
* [[Terpsichore Dance Collective]]<br />
* [[Wind Ensemble]]<br />
* [[Women's Chorale]]<br />
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===Religion Clubs===<br />
* [[Fellowship of Christian Athletes]]<br />
* [[Hillel Club]]<br />
* [[Intervarsity Christian Fellowship]]<br />
* [[Islamic Club]]<br />
* [[Newman Club]]<br />
* [[Pagan Student Alliance]]<br />
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===Recreation and Gaming Clubs===<br />
* [[Badminton Club]]<br />
* [[Ballroom Dance|Ballroom Dancing Club]]<br />
* [[Basketball]] (intramural sport)<br />
* [[Co-ed Water Polo]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Cycling Club]]<br />
* [[Dodgeball]] (intramural sport)<br />
* [[Fencing]] (club sport) <br />
* [[Gaming Information Network]]<br />
* [[Indoor Soccer]] (intramural sport)<br />
* [[Knox Dance Squad]]<br />
* [[Kolorworx]] (color guard club)<br />
* [[LARC]] (Live Action Role Playing Club)<br />
* [[Martial Arts Club]]<br />
* [[Men's Lacrosse]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Outdoor Recreation Club]]<br />
* [[Racquetball Club]]<br />
* [[Softball]] (intramural sport)<br />
* [[Ultimate Frisbee]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Volleyball]] (intramural sport)<br />
* [[Women's Lacrosse]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Women's Rugby]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Women's Water Polo]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Yoga Way]]<br />
<br />
==Transportation and Getting Out==<br />
This section deals with transportation to, in, and from [[Galesburg]], and other destinations in the area.<br />
<br />
===Getting In===<br />
Galesburg is located at the intersection of [[Interstate 74]] and [[Highway 34]]. To find Galesburg, on a transportation map, look for the bend in I-74 south of the [[Quad Cities]] – that's Galesburg. <br />
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To get to Galesburg from [[I-80]], take I-80 to the Quad Cities, and then go east on I-74.<br />
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For other driving directions, it might be easier to consult a map.<br />
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The nearest airports of consequence to Galesburg are [[Greater Peoria Regional Airport]] (PIA) and [[Quad City International Airport]] (MLI). PIA only has feeder flights to [[Chicago]] [[O'Hare]], but MLI has flights to and from Chicago O'Hare, [[Denver]], [[Dallas-Fort Worth]], [[Atlanta]], [[Detroit]], [[Minneapolis-St. Paul]], [[Las Vegas]], and [[Orlando]]. Due to the higher cost of using these smaller airports, many students fly into Chicago O'Hare (ORD) or Chicago [[Midway]] (MDW) and get a ride or take the [[train]] into Galesburg. Knox offers a shuttle service to PIA and MLI, as well as [[Bradley University]], at the beginning and end of each [[term]]. A small fee is assessed. With prior reservation, you can also book a [[taxi]] ride for $50, if the shuttles do not fit your time needs.<br />
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Galesburg is served by a number of trains, all run by [[Amtrak]]. The [[California Zephyr]] is a transcontinental train running from Chicago to [[San Francisco]] via Denver, with one train per day in each direction. Eastbound trains into Galesburg are late by several hours. The [[Southwest Chief]] is another transcontinental train running from Chicago to [[Los Angeles]] via [[Albuquerque]], and is usually on time. The [[Illinois Zephyr]] is daily service between Chicago and [[Quincy]], with an eastbound train in the morning and a westbound one in the evening. The [[Carl Sandburg (train)|Carl Sandburg]] follows the same route as the California Zephyr, with a westbound train in the morning and an eastbound one in the evening. These short-run trains are largely co-financed by Amtrak and the [[Illinois]] Department of Transportation. The train station is about four blocks from campus.<br />
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===Travel within Galesburg===<br />
Accessing much of downtown is easy by foot, but for reaching the rest of town owning or borrowing a [[car]] or [[bicycle]] is necessary. There are three [[bus]] routes in Galesburg running on complicated loops once each hour, but only until around 6:00PM. The bus terminal is at [[Main Street|Main]] and [[Kellogg Street|Kellogg]] streets, and all three buses depart from there every hour on the hour. The fare is 60 cents. Few use the bus, but if time is not very important it is cheaper than calling a taxi. The schedules and routes can be found [http://www.ci.galesburg.il.us/transit/citybus.htm here].<br />
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Galesburg taxis are sketchy.<br />
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===Getting out of Galesburg===<br />
For those used to the bright lights and big city, Galesburg can feel a little oppressively Galesburg.<br />
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The main destinations close to Galesburg are [[Peoria]] and the [[Quad Cities]], each about 45 minutes away by car on I-74. They offer more shopping and dining options. The nereast actual big cities are [[St. Louis]] and Chicago, each about three hours away by car. Chicago, as mentioned above, can also be reached by train. Within Chicago there is the [[CTA]] and the [[Metra]] for mass transit – Midway lies at the south end of the orange line, and O'Hare at the north end of the blue line on CTA. There are also all the well-known tourist attractions of Chicago. Sadly, it is not close enough to be a common destination, except on the way to the airport, unless you either live in Chicago or have a car.<br />
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==Conclusion==<br />
The Wiki Fire community hopes that this Knox Survival Guide will help you get your bearings quickly and adapt to your new surroundings, bleak and agricultural though they may be. As you spend more time here, you will come to recognize the ineffable [[The Knox Experience|Knox culture]]: the flouncing dramas of the 1350 students, the quirky but lovable periodic incompetence of the [[administration]], the nuances of non-nuance that flow from [[Galesburg]]. If you love Knox, you will find the strangest reasons to love it more, and even if you hate Knox you'll come to have a grudging appreciation of its idiosyncrasies. Or you'll [[transfer]]. Either/or.<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/></div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Knox_Survival_Guide&diff=22701Knox Survival Guide2011-08-16T20:32:08Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
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<div>{| align="right"<br />
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Welcome to the '''Knox Survival Guide''', your portal to necessary information about "making it" at [[Knox College]]. Some of this you will learn during [[Orientation Survival Guide|Freshman Orientation]]. Some of it you won't.<br />
<br />
==Overview==<br />
<br />
It would perhaps be most useful to get some basic bearing on where you are and why you are there, and who all these people are around you. It's good to be a quick study.<br />
<br />
To start off with the most painfully obvious, [[Knox]] is a small [[liberal arts college]] located in [[Western Illinois]], which is part of the [[Midwest]]. There are 1392 [[students]]. <ref>[http://www.knox.edu/x700.xml Knox Fast Facts]</ref> And you are stuck here for what may seem like an extraordinarily long time, about as long as a [[President of the United States of America|presidential administration]]. Added to them are several dozen members of the [[faculty]] and a number of [[staff]], both [[Administration|administrative]] and rank-and-file. The town of [[Galesburg]] is home to around 33,000 [[people]] and a fluctuating number of [[train]]s. The trains will undoubtedly be one of the first things you notice, and you will notice them several times an hour for several months, until you don't even notice them anymore. You know how they say that people can learn to live with anything? That is [[the Knox Experience]]. Apparently it was [[Copy Editor|copy-edited]] out of the [[admission]] brochures.<br />
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This article makes much reference to cardinal directions to place items of interest. For those of you used to [[Denver|mountains]] and [[Chicago|city skylines]] as reference points, just remember that [[Old Main]] faces north, towards [[downtown]] Galesburg.<br />
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Also keep in mind that this guide was written around the inception of The Wiki Fire and edited completely randomly and largely anonymously since then. Basically, be the clever aspiring Knox students we all know you are when reading this. <br />
<br />
==Your Fellow Students==<br />
<br />
===Origin===<br />
Of the 1392 students at Knox, maybe half come from the state of [[Illinois]]. The bulk of those come from [[Chicago]] and its various [[suburb]]s (mostly the [[Outside of Chicago|suburbs]]). Generally, when meeting a person, if they don't say what state or specifically what neighborhood in Chicago he or she is from, you may as well cut to the chase and ask them what Chicago suburb they're from to save time. Those of you not from Chicago will soon learn the names and relative locations of all the suburbs. According to the [[The official Knox website|Knox website]], 14.1% of students live within 100 miles of Knox. This includes a number of Galesburg natives and [[non-traditional student]]s with Galesburg residency, as well as students from [[Peoria]], the [[Quad Cities]], and the [[farm]]s and [[small town]]s of western Illinois and eastern [[Iowa]]. The rest of the Illinois students come from places like [[Rockford]], [[Carbondale]], and other regions of northern, southern, and central Illinois. The local and non-Chicago Illinois students seem to comprise a remarkably large percentage of [[athlete]]s and possibly the majority of [[Beta]]s. <br />
<br />
Beyond this, there are numerous students from surrounding states: [[Wisconsin]], [[Iowa]], and [[Missouri]] are the primary contributors. After Chicago, [[St. Louis]] and [[Kansas City]] may be the best-represented cities at Knox. There are a number of students from rural areas of these states as well.<br />
<br />
Outside of the four-state area, the majority of American-resident students are from various sizeable cities. While for the more local students academic or athletic reputation was a significant consideration, for the rest [[financial aid]] often took precedence. Distant but well-represented cities at Knox include [[Denver]], [[Albuquerque]], and [[Portland, Oregon|Portland]] ([[Oregon]]). Beyond the seven states so far mentioned, there are forty-one more states and territories currently sending students to Knox. These students are sad and all alone in the world. Comfort them. Instruct them in the relative fashionableness of Chicagoland's area codes (unless you actually want to make friends during orientation). <br />
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We mustn't forget also the substantial set of [[international student]]s coming to Knox. These students have come looking for an American [[education]], and are on the whole able to pay for it. Some question might be asked as to why they would choose, out of hundreds of schools, Knox, but as Knox has made a special effort to attract international students one can make some assumptions. Generally, the largest sources of international students seem to be tropical western [[Africa]] (especially [[Ghana]] and [[Nigeria]]), [[South Asia]] (especially [[Nepal]]), [[Southeast Asia]] (especially [[Vietnam]]), and eastern [[Asia]] (especially [[South Korea]] and [[Japan]]). There are several students from [[Europe]], and one combination student and graduate [[teaching assistant]] from [[Germany]] each year. Many of the European students, as well as some of the others, are children of American diplomats or businesspeople.<br />
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Knox is said to be very [[diversity|diverse]]. Though this is true, the administration really likes the Chicagoland area. Like, a lot. It's almost sad that the most diverse experience some people have is at a school of only around 1400 undergrads, but most Knox students manage to cope with this sad state of affairs somehow. Those that can't at least have a wonderful new topic for their Honors project on Post-Colonialism. <br />
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===Academics===<br />
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Knox touts its distinction as the best liberal arts college in [[Illinois]], a state that, to be fair, has a fairly weak history in the liberal arts. After all, the [[Chicago|City of Big Shoulders]], which back in Knox's time was a relatively uncultured creep of Midwestern industrial growth and centralization, required a meat-and-potatoes sort of higher education system, and there were certainly plenty of well-established schools [[East Coast|further east]] for nancy English majors. Knox has, however, done fairly well for itself, placing somewhere in the seventies each year on the ''[[U.S. News and World Report]]'' rankings. It often garners good ratings in the [[Princeton Review]], and is a perennial favorite of the book ''[[Colleges That Change Lives]]''. Knox is quick to note whatever accolades it receives, and you can find them quoted [http://www.knox.edu/x703.xml here].<br />
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Quantitatively, 75% of Knox students were in the top quarter of their [[high school]] class, and 43% graduated in the top tenth. The middle of 50 percent of the [[ACT]] Composite score is 26-31; for the [[SAT]] (out of 1600), 1150-1410. Knox does not require the ACT or SAT anymore. This is because we are innovative. Remember this. We made [[Abraham Lincoln]], too, as far as we're concerned.<br />
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These statistics, while good, aren't quite as impressive as some of the more famous schools – indeed, while many in [[Illinois]] or [[Missouri]] have heard of Knox, if you utter the name in [[California]] [http://knox.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2202235148 then people will think you're going to school in Tennessee]. You will soon learn, if you have not already, that the official name of Knox outside of the Midwest is "Knox College, a small liberal arts school in western Illinois (not near Chicago)." A recent addition to this somewhat cumbersome name is 'where Stephen Colbert got his DFA'.<br />
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On the whole, the basic demographic at Knox is good students, with moderate achievements, generally with either a high personal concern either for community or a pressing practical concern for money. A larger than usual percentage are students whose work in high school was perhaps tempered by other concerns, usually social but sometimes associated with being batshit crazy. A fair number of intelligent underachievers add to the mix as well. To be fair, Knox, while selective, is not ''that'' selective.<br />
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===Social===<br />
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As just mentioned, students often think much of social matters, and as the middle students of high school who, perhaps, existed without some firm sort of group identification, the social scene at Knox is quite involved. It is made the more so given Knox's small size and isolation: just as water boils faster in a covered, confined space, Knox's [[drama]] percolates up all the time. The wide availability of drugs and alcohol doesn't help anybody calm down, either. For [[Anso]] majors, it can be quite the opportunity for some ad-hoc fieldwork, but of course few of them can resist being involved themselves.<br />
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On the whole, Knox's drama appears to be more intricate than that at many other schools. And, as everybody pretty much knows everybody with at most two degrees of separation, and sees them once or twice a day, there are a lot of opportunities from social intercourse. This is the sense of community of a small school, but also one of its strangest phenomena. The [[rumor mill]] is especially large, and it is not unheard of for [[faculty]] to get entangled in it as well (they, apparently, need their [[sex]] too). Attempts have been made to catalogue the [[The Web|network of romantic and sexual relationships]] on campus, but the complexity and rapid changes have gotten the better of them. Anyone trying to compile such a list quickly realizes that not only are the heuristics absurd, but also that all of the compilers tend to be just as awkwardly and intricately connected as anyone else. <br />
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====The Greek System====<br />
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For first-years especially, the social scene is largely centered on the [[Greek]] system. After the first year, those who do join a Greek organization keep somewhat within that organization (though anyone will tell you that the Greek system at Knox is not nearly what you expect it to be), and those that do not join any will coalesce their own social channels or find a good balance between the two social realms, but until then there is significant room for maneuver. The [[fraternity|fraternities]] are most prominent on the party scene, because they have residential houses and it is easiest for them to both fit people and organize. The [[sorority|sororities]] only have nonresidential houses, so they don't hold as many parties, instead attending the fraternity parties. The sororities are also larger and contain a larger variety of people within them than do the men's fraternities, making their identity somewhat more difficult to define. [[Rush|Recruitment]] for these organizations is different than many major universities, and begins in [[Winter Term]]. Besides the organizations listed, there are several more niche Greek organizations of various size and purpose. <br />
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*[[Tau Kappa Epsilon]] (Teak) is located to the east of [[Beta Theta Pi|Beta]]. It is known for its parties and recruits many fine young men out of Seymour. It is also the oldest remaining TKE house in the nation. TKE is constantly reinventing itself and coming close to burning down, so we always have to see what the next year will bring. <br />
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*[[Beta Theta Pi]] (Beta) focuses primarily on attracting [[football]] players and other athletes. Their house is on South St. between [[TKE]] and [[Alumni Hall]].<br />
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*[[Phi Gamma Delta]] (FIJI) attracts a lot of baseball players, basketball players, a significant number of African international students, and sundry others. Depending on the year, it is the most multicultural of fraternities. Their house is on the southwest corner of [[Cedar Street|Cedar]] and [[Tompkins Street|Tompkins]] streets, diagonal from the Galesburg Police Station and across the street from Standish Park. <br />
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*[[Sigma Nu]] (SNu) caters largely to the less obviously fraternity-material students (the geek contingent), and tend to be focused on [[video games]], [[politics]], and "bein' chill". However, as of 2010-2011, they have attempted to, "rise above the awkward," posing a more friendly socializing atmosphere. Their house is located on [[West Street|West St.]], near the [[Service Ramp]] in the [[Quads]], and they really anjoy reminding Quad residents of this fact. <br />
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*[[Sigma Chi]], the newest fraternity (and, thus far, sadly lacking in a whimsical abbreviation) grew out of the [[Ultimate Frisbee]] team. Its members are fond of [[nudity]]. Their house used to be a very prominent [[crackhouse]] until the occupants were arrested and one fraternity member's family purchased the house, remodeled it, and sold it to the school. It is located on the southwest corner of [[West Street|West]] and [[Knox Street|Knox]] streets.<br />
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*[[Delta Delta Delta]] (Tri Delta) is one of the sororities. They maintain their Lodge on [[Academy Street|Academy St.]], behind [[SMC]]. They mostly hang out with the football players at [[Beta]] and wear heels. <br />
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*[[Pi Beta Phi]] (Pi Phi) also maintains a house (the Bungalow) on Academy, just north of the Tri Delta Lodge. This sorority has somewhat more activists and dedicated [[feminist]]s than Tri Delta, and are known on campus for being down to earth. <br />
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*[[Kappa Kappa Gamma]] (Kappa)'s house is north of the Pi Phi Bungalow. Kappas at Knox are known for their balance of partying and leadership activities and usually wear big sunglasses. <br />
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*[[Alpha Sigma Alpha]] is the newest sorority on campus. Originally branded the female [[SNu]], they have since backed away from this label.<br />
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**[[Women of Influence]] (WOI) is another recently-formed sorority colony comprised mainly of members of [[Lo Nuestro]] and [[ABLE]].<br />
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**[[Gentlemen of Quality]] (GQ) is the newest colony addition to the Greek system.<br />
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====Suites====<br />
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The other major locus of social organization is the [[suite]] system. Upperclassmen generally [[Housing Lottery|get to pick with whom they are living]], if they have any preference in the matter, but [[first-year]]s are simply thrown together based on survey answers. Given the pressure-cooker social atmosphere, few people end up living with their first-year roommates, for instance, for any additional time. Some first-year suites end up becoming destinations, and others are simply bedrooms. Some suites have perennial reputations, [[Seymour 3B]] being the most infamous. Each freshman suite or group of suites comes with a Knox-issue [[Resident Advisor]] (RA), who will range in quality and willingness to overlook suite members' [[Drinking|actions]] and [[Marijuana|possessions]]. Regardless of your opinion of this person, they are there to for numerous reasons, mostly as an intermediary between you and the administration. Keep in mind that you screwing up (and getting caught) reflects poorly on them as well, but seeing as they have attended the college for longer than you it is totally acceptable to look to them for assistance and advice. <br />
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==Your Room==<br />
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First-years are housed in [[residence hall]]s, usually two to a room. Students may request a [[single]], but it costs several hundred dollars extra and often requires some justifying to the administration. Generally demand is too low to fill them with paying students, so some first-years will be thrown into them at no cost. First-year singles are located in [[Five-Name]]. There are also two triples in [[Seymour Hall]]. Sometimes, due to dropouts, roommate moves, or the like, one might end up living alone in a standard room. This is called a [[double-single]]. <br />
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However, housing at Knox is best described as a creature with amoeba-like attributes and is, as you will see on campus, a matter of paperwork rather than actual practice for many students. Some students even opt to informally live somewhere other than where they were assigned, either because they have found a suite of people they like a little better or have found one person they like a lot better.<br />
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===Seymour Hall===<br />
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[[Seymour Hall]] houses about 80 [[boy|male]] first-years. There is one suite on the second floor of Seymour on the north side of the building ([[Seymour 2]]), and two suites on the third floor: [[Seymour 3A]] above Seymour 2, and [[Seymour 3B]] perpendicular to 3A, over the [[Oak Room]]. The suites are accessible by a spiral staircase above the [[Grab-n-Go Cart]] between the [[Campus Life Office]] and [[Founders]], and by the stairwell on the west side of Seymour, which leads down to the section of Seymour basement with the [[mailroom]] and the [[bookstore]]. These suites are the least secure on campus, as they are in a building that is open 24 hours a day, and the doors to them are usually propped (although [[Campus Safety]] unprops them on its rounds). The rooms are large, if not particularly nice looking. The closets are large enough to fit the [[Dorm furniture|standard-issue dresser]] in them. There is a single common area for all three suites, at the eastern end of 3A; it is hardly ever used, and usually is cannibalized for its furniture. There are [[vending machine]]s on the third floor. [[Laundry]] facilities are in each of the bathrooms, of which there is one on each floor. The roof of Seymour is accessible from windows in the bathroom and several of the rooms, but fines for being out there can be significant if caught.<br />
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Seymour suites have unparalleled easy access to campus, as they are right upstairs from the eateries, the [[Founders|main computer lab]], and the mailroom. On winter days, one need not leave the building except for [[class]]. These suites are generally the least well-kept of all on campus, and the suites often incur high repair fees at the end of the year for their various drunken indiscretions. 3B is perennially the worst of the three in this sense, and has a long history of [[alcohol]] and [[drugs]] beyond the normal levels. The squalor is part of the ambience. Those with a heightened sense of [[hygiene]] will find life in Seymour to be [[Phantom Shitter|very hard on them]].<br />
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===Post Hall===<br />
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First-year [[Post]] is an [[girl|all-female]] area of six [[suite]]s, with about 100 girls. These suites are on the north side of the building, along [[West St.]]; there are also four upperclass suites in the east wing of the building, and upperclassmen living in [[Post Basement]] (the rooms of which were installed to alleviate [[overcrowding]] during the 2006-2007 school year) and may be fondly referred to as [[Post Dungeon]]. [[Kitchen]]s and [[laundry]] rooms are available in the basements, and the [[C-Store]] convenience store is in [[Post Lobby]], along with a big-screen TV (generally controlled by the [[Gaming Information Network]] or other video-game players). There are stairwells between each suite<br />
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Each suite is two stories tall, with a common area on the lower floor, an internal staircase to the balcony, and two small bathrooms on each floor. Each suite has 16 to 18 students, making for a very small bathroom-to-student ratio – Post suites are likely the cleanest on campus. They also have very nice views of campus, with the huge suite window. Then again, this makes it very easy for [[Campus Safety]] to break up unregistered [[parties]]. Post suites are numbered from one to ten: Post 1 is the lower northernmost suite, Post 2 the suite above it, and so on, to Post 10, the upper-level suite farthest out on the east wing. Only Post 1-6 hold first-years.<br />
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===Sellew-Raub===<br />
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[[Sellew-Raub]] is located in the [[Quads]], and is largely made up of first-year housing, although the amount of upperclass housing changes from year to year. It runs east-west, between [[Five-Name]] and [[Four-Name]]. The [[Service Ramp]] is at its western end. There are six suites on three floors, each with 10 to 12 students. On each floor, one suite is Raub and one Sellew. As with Seymour, these are designated by floor (e.g. [[Raub 2]], [[Sellew 1]]). There is a common area in each suite, and one bathroom separated in two parts for each floor. Sellew and Raub each have a stairwell. [[Laundry]] facilities are available in the basement, but no [[kitchen]]. Sellew-Raub is co-ed by floor. It is typical Quads and pretty unremarkable.<br />
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===Conger-Neal===<br />
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[[Conger-Neal]] is pretty much the same as Sellew-Raub, and is located along [[West St.]] north of the [[Service Ramp]]. Most of the occupants are upperclassmen, but usually at least one suite is made over to first-years. The [[Conger-Neal basement]], reminiscent of the infamous velociraptor scene in Jurassic Park, is the third-scariest on campus, after [[Aux Gym]] and [[GDH]].<br />
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===Five-Name===<br />
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[[Five-Name]] is the large L-shaped building rounding the northeast corner of [[West Street|West]] and [[Knox Street|Knox]] streets. It contains five suites. [[Campbell]] and [[Elder]] are the two suites of the north wing, and [[Neifert]] and [[Sherwin]] are on the east wing. [[Furrow]] is in the bend, and houses primarily upperclassmen. The basements also have a few rooms, but these are usually given to upperclassmen as well, although many believe them to be the worst housing on campus. This reputation is based largely on five-names extreme excess of fire alarms, though it may seem unthinkable to have as many as 6 fire alarms in a single day that is daily life in five-name. Each wing essentially has a double suite on each floor, with a shared hallway separated by a door that is usually open, and bathrooms at either end. The building is co-ed. There is a combination kitchen/laundry room in [[Neifert Basement]], along with [[the Roger Taylor Lounge|the former Roger Taylor Lounge]]. The[[Student Health Center]] sits on the outside corner of the building and is combined with the [[Counseling Center]]. Five-Name suites are numbered by floor, starting in the basement (Neifert or Elder 1, although usually they are referred to as Neifert or [[Elder Basement]], with the actual first floor being numbered 2, and so forth). Five-Name is far away from everything, except loud Sigma Chi dance parties.<br />
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===I-House===<br />
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If you are an [[international student]], you may end up in the [[International House]]. Congratulations.<br />
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==The Campus==<br />
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Knox strives for a parklike setting. It used to strive for a tree-lined sort of parklike, and then [[Dutch Elm Disease]] happened, so now it strives to evoke more of a [[prairie]] thing. In the summer and early fall it is very green, what with the well-kept lawns. The small nature patch east of the quads is what the land used to look like. One can imagine that in the future, when deer become sentient and take over the world, there will be a small patch of manicured lawn west of the quads at Deer-Knox (undoubtedly refounded by gazelle-slavery abolitionists) that will be visited by [[Anthropology and Sociology|Human Studies]] classes.<br />
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On the northeast quarter of campus are most of the academic buildings on campus. [[Old Main]] is the old one, with the [[belltower]]. [[Seymour Hall]] is the one with all the stuff in it, in the center. You eat at it. [[GDH]], the [[Aux Gym]], and the [[Old Jail]] are around, along with administrative buildings outside of the campus proper. [[Alumni Hall]] is the one that doesn't even have stairs to its doors. To the west is the gray building that looks kind of like a scale model of itself, which is [[Seymour Library]] (not to be confused with Seymour Hall – [[Knox]] may have few wealthy [[alumni]], but those it has are sometimes suitably generous). [[TKE]] and [[Beta]], as well as the [[Wilson House]], are nearby. North of [[South St.]] are the [[apartments]], which are home mostly to seniors and some juniors, as well as [[270 W. Tompkins]] (a rotating theme house) and the [[Jazz House]]. West of South [[West St.]] (confusing? Just wait) is [[SMC]], the large building that suggests a swastika, and behind that the [[sorority]] houses, another house, and the [[Human Rights Center]]. On the eastern side of the campus is [[CFA]], and in the southeast corner the [[Memorial Gym]]. The [[Quads]] are essentially the southwest corner, including the [[Old Quads]] ([[Four-Name]], [[Conger-Neal]], etc.) and the [[New Quads]] ([[Five-Name]]). [[Post Hall]] is just north of these, and a number of campus houses, including [[I-House]], the [[Old Phi Delt House]], [[SNu]], [[Sigma Chi]], and [[Yellow House]] are strung out along [[West St.]] from [[Berrien St.]] on the north end to [[First St.]] at the southern end. The [[Steam Pipe Network]] connects many of the campus buildings. Here, look at a [http://www.knox.edu/prebuilt/PDFs/Campus_map.pdf map of campus].<br />
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[[Elevator]]s on campus are about as common as [[Republican]]s in [[Chicago]] city government (see? Even if you're not from Chicago you pick up fast on these things). ''[[BLADU]]'', the now-defunct humor magazine, had a feature in its early years called "This Month's Event that Disabled Students Can't Attend" or something to that effect. If you're wheelchair-bound, you might have done well to visit first.<br />
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===Old Main===<br />
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Knox's signature building. It's on the letterhead. The school makes a big deal about it being the only remaining site of the [[Lincoln-Douglas debates]]. [[Abraham Lincoln]] climbed through a window to get to the debating platform – He'd "been through college," he said. You may have sat in [[Lincoln Chair|his chair]] as a [[prospie]]. If Knox knew exactly where he had walked while on campus, they would surely mark it off as the Lincoln Trail, litter it with interpretive signage, and all but worship it. More prosaically, as it were, it holds the [[English Department|English]], [[Philosophy Department|Philosophy]], and [[History Department|History]] departments, as well as some key administrative offices on the first floor, including the office of the [[Dean of the College]], the [[President's Office]], the [[Business Office]], the [[Office of Student Development]], the [[Dean of Students]], and so on. Major meeting rooms in Old Main are the [[Alumni Room]] (if you can't have a hall you might as well get part of one) on the first floor in the northwest corner, and the [[Common Room]] along the southern side of the second floor.<br />
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===Alumni Hall===<br />
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Alumni Hall is kind of like a classic car – it's old, and really beautiful, but it's been neglected for forty years. [[Knox College|Its owner]] always talks about restoring it, but doesn't have the [[endowment|balls]] to do it any time soon, so the car rusts out on the [[South Street|driveway]], looking pretty stupid to anybody who drives by. At some point the owner goes and asks [[James Kilts|his friend]], the former CEO of Gillette, who once landed his helicopter in the owner's backyard, whether he would be willing to give him several million dollars to restore the car and name it James Kilts Alumni Classic Car, to which this lugubrious CEO, already glorified to no end in the owner's [[admission]] brochures, will reply, "I don't do buildings." And here the analogy falls apart.<br />
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If you ever get a chance to go inside (usually when the [[Trustees]] come – the open it up to try to get them to feel bad and give money), go. It's very nice. Otherwise, it stands empty, and glows sodium-orange at night. For those daring at heart, if you are lucky to find Alumni Hall unlocked, be sure to enter only under the protection of nightfall, but escape before the timer turns on said lights.<br />
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===Seymour Union===<br />
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Where to begin?<br />
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[[Seymour Union]], also known as Seymour Hall, has three floors and a basement. The second and third floors are entirely all-male [[residence hall]]. If the right doors and windows are open, sometimes [[marijuana]] smoke wafts down to the first floor. On the first floor are three different eatery options. Along the south side of the building is the [[Hard Knox Café]], known as The Caf, the buffet-style option, and the most well-used (if not the most popular) one on campus. Just north of it is the [[Oak Room]], which is single-pass and has less variety but is often better quality. Across the hall from the Caf is the [[Gizmo]], the snack bar/fast food sort of place, which is open all day and is a major gathering spot. Next to it just outside the building is the [[Gizmo Patio]], which is very popular for [[drama|socializing]] and [[studying]] in warmer weather and [[smoking]] even in the winter. The windowed hallway from the Caf and Gizmo past the Oak Room to the north side of the building is known as the [[Gallery]]. This is where [[tabling]] happens. Often the school will bring traveling merchants in the Gallery to hawk their wares, most notably the [[poster sale]], the book fair, and most often a woman who sells clothes and woven items.<br />
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The Gallery ends and a new perpendicular hallway takes its place for the north side of the building. The northeast corner of Seymour is taken up with [[Founders]], the main [[computer lab]]. It has mostly [[Windows]] computers (but a few [[Mac]]s), as well as a tricked-out laser printer. It is open 23 ½ hours a day (closed from 5-5:30 AM for computer maintenance). Across the hall from Founders is the [[Campus Life Office]], where [[Craig Southern]] (the housing guy) and [[Cindy Wickliffe]] (the campus events organization lady, and the sender of campuswide [[e-mail]]s that you're not supposed to respond to) work. The building foyer on the north side also has [[change machine]]s and an [[ATM]]. The change machines are broken almost as often as not. You will get used to it. Be nice to the Gizmo people, because if you are they might give you change even though they're not supposed to.<br />
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Further west along the hall is the [[Carl Sandburg Study Lounge]], which is basically the only study lounge open 24 hours a day. It is especially popular with [[international student]]s. Next to that is the [[Publications Office]], where staff for ''[[The Knox Student]]'' and ''[[Catch]]'' work. A hallway branches off to the west stairwell, which heads toward the [[mailroom]], and after that there is [[Ferris Lounge]] and the [[Lincoln Room]], which are sometimes used for meetings, a number of smaller rooms off a hallway, and [[Helmut Mayer]]'s office (Helmut is the Director of [[Dining Services]]). The [[Loading Dock]] is on the west side of the building, and receives shipments for Dining Services. The Dining Services office is accessible only from outside the building, just west of the Caf.<br />
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There are actually three separate basements in Seymour, at least as far as student accessibility is concerned. Students can only get into two, unless they work for Dining Services, which uses the third section for storage. One section, on the northwest side of the building, contains the mailroom and [[bookstore]]. The other section is accessible from a stairwell near the Gizmo. At the landing there is the [[Union Board]] office, and some other [[club]] office space. At the bottom are two bathrooms, the [[Student Senate]] office, and [[the Roger Taylor Lounge]] (formerly [[Wallace Lounge]]). The left side, which has windows, is a study area, and the windowless right side used to be a bowling alley, but is now a game room complete with two pool tables, a foosball table, an air hockey table, several big-screen TVs and a Nintendo Wii. At the back of the lounge is the old ''[[BLADU]]'' office, which formerly housed the [[Free Store]] (now located in the basement of [[Conger-Neal]]). This is the only public building open 24 hours a day.<br />
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===Seymour Library===<br />
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[[Seymour Library]] is in the top 2% of [[college]] libraries nationwide, they say. However, they don't quote this rank like they do for ranks associated with [[financial aid]] or the [[WVKC|radio station]], so it's a little suspect. All in all, however, it's a lovely library for a school of this size. Jobs at the library are among the most coveted on campus. It contains the main copy machines for public use, a number of [[computer]]s (including laptops you can check out at the front desk), and a few dozen or so books, too. The study carrels are numerous and generally fairly quiet, although many of the red swivel chairs squeak horribly. The catalog is online, and accessible [http://library.knox.edu here]. You can check out movies too – the VHS library is larger, but they continually acquire new DVDs for [[professor]]s' class needs. The [[Special Collections and Archives]] room has a lot of very interesting old things. The major meeting areas in the library are the [[Muelder Reading Room]] (much, much better known as the Red Room, because of the red carpet), and a number of smaller rooms arrayed next to it, including the [[Bookfellows Room]], [[Finley Room]], and [[Cassidy Room]]. On the third floor above this area are [[Honors office]]s, for seniors who are doing an [[Honors Project]]. On the first floor, the study room at the east side of the building arrayed with glass-block windows is often referred to as the [[Fishbowl]].<br />
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[[Reserves]] for (non science) classes are available at the front desk. Smaller reserves are in manila envelopes and listed by a file number, which you have to look up in the catalog. The rest are by call number. There are also open reserves, which are located on the first floor, between the periodicals and the DVD shelf. There is only one bathroom in the entire building, off the foyer. There are two stairwells, one at the front and the other at the back, running just to the right of the Fishbowl.<br />
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If you want science books or reserves, those are available at the [[Kresge Science-Mathematics Library]] in [[SMC]] (another donation behemoth, that Kresge was). There is also a [[Music Library]] in [[CFA]].<br />
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===SMC===<br />
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Officially known as the [[Sharvy G. Umbeck Science and Mathematics Center]], it is called SMC (pronounced '"smack") because many of Knox's benefactors (in this case a former college president) do not have pretty-sounding names. We can't all be Seymours or Kresges, after all. It contains offices and classrooms for all the sciences, including [[psychology]], [[mathematics]], and [[Computer Science|computer science]]. Its basement is creepy and contains the [[Computer Center]], two computer labs, [[Stellyes]] and [[Caterpillar Lab|Caterpillar]], and many file cabinets containing magical objects (this is where you can find the [[door to Narnia]]). The [[Office of Advancement]] is located in the E wing. The [[Kresge Science-Mathematics Library]] is in the center of the second floor. The building has four wings, lettered B through E, with the core being A. The A-wing contains two large lecture pits seating over 100, one of which is the meeting place for [[Student Senate]]. There are six stairwells, two in the core and one on the end of each wing.<br />
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SMC is not really shaped like a swastika, but it kind of looks like it, especially from above. Perhaps they will make additions.<br />
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Be prepared to find yourself lost somewhere in SMC during the first term. It may help to watch the scenery outside the huge plate-glass windows--it's the only thing that changes as you move around.<br />
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===GDH===<br />
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Officially known as [[George Davis Hall]], this was the science building before SMC was built in 1970, and currently houses a number of [[Academic Department|department]]s, including all the social sciences, [[Modern Languages and Literatures Department|Modern Languages]], and [[Educational Studies Department|Educational Studies]]. The radio station, [[WVKC]], is located on the fourth floor, accessed from the eastern stairwell. It contains the [[Centel Lab|Centel computer lab]] on the first floor, which contains special workstations for use with foreign language instruction. The basement is the second scariest on campus, although it is sometimes locked. There is a 19th-century X-ray machine down there.<br />
<br />
===Old Jail===<br />
<br />
The [[Old Jail]], just east of [[GDH]], contains faculty offices. It also holds the [[Lincoln Studies Center]] and the [[Underground Railroad Freedom Station]], as well as an actual [[jail]] in the back. The jail is multilevel and quite impressive.<br />
<br />
===CFA===<br />
<br />
Officially known as [[Ford Center for the Fine Arts]]. This holds the [[Art Department|Art]], [[Theatre and Dance Department|Theatre and Dance]], and [[Music Department|Music]] departments. The main venue is the [[Harbach Theatre]], which is the [[mainstage]] for theatre productions and is across the lobby corridor from the [[Office of Admission]]. [[Kresge Recital Hall]] is used more often for speakers and musical performances, and for [[First-Year Orientation]]. It's on the south side of the main lobby. In the basement by the eastern stairwell is the [[Studio Theatre]], used for smaller, usually [[student]]-directed, shows. The south wing of CFA is the [[music]] wing, and contains offices, recital halls, practice rooms, and the [[Music Library]] on the second floor. On the north side of the lobby is the main art exhibition space, around an obviously curved wall. Inside this wall is the [[Round Room]], which would be the coolest room on campus if the seating weren't quite as unnecessarily cramped. The [[Office of Financial Aid]] sits above the Office of Admission on the second floor.<br />
<br />
CFA has the same effect that created the term SMC rat, for science students, but without a name. You will get stuck in CFA if you commit to theatre or music. You will spend way more time in it than most people think is necessary. And you will, for some reason, feel compelled to visit it when you have nothing to do because there is inevitably someone, usually a group of someones, who have the same problem and will be more than happy to talk about things with you on the CFA patio because they don't know what to do with their time away from CFA either.<br />
<br />
===Memorial Gym===<br />
<br />
The [[Memorial Gym]] holds most of the important athletic facilities on campus. It is tucked behind [[CFA]] and the [[track]]. Inside is a [[basketball]] court on the first floor. In the basement there is a woefully small [[natatorium]] (pool). This used to be easy to break into, but then they changed the lock. On the second floor there are offices for low-seniority faculty, as well as the headquarters of the [[Black Studies Program]]. The new-looking, floor-to-ceiling windowed section is the [[E. & L. Andrew Fitness Center]].<br />
<br />
Some other facilities, specifically for dance, are located in the [[Aux Gym|Auxiliary Gym]], between [[CFA]] and [[GDH]].<br />
<br />
===Other Places on Campus===<br />
<br />
In addition to the buildings described above, there are numerous other, smaller places on campus that are worth noting.<br />
<br />
In terms of classroom and meeting space, there are several other areas. One, the [[Compass Room]], is a meeting and class room located on the second floor in the center of the [[Townhouses]], which are upperclass housing on the northeast corner of [[South Street|South]] and [[Cedar Street|Cedar]] streets. On class schedules it will show up as 251E in reference to the building's address, 251 South West St., and the letter E as coming after Townhouses [[Townhouse A|A]] through [[Townhouse D|D]]. It has a [[kitchen]]. Another, the [[Wilson House]], is sometimes used for [[class]]es, and is located next to [[TKE]]. It also has a kitchen. There is also the [[Center for Intercultural Life]], a small house adjoined to [[Simonds Hall]] (part of [[Four-Name]]). The [[Center for Teaching and Learning]] is used for tutoring and other functions, and is on [[West St.]], south of the parking lot.<br />
<br />
Major named lawns include the [[South Lawn]] (south of [[Old Main]]) and [[Post Lawn]] (between [[Post]] and [[Seymour]]). There are [[Meridian Tennis Courts|tennis courts]] just east of the [[Quad]]s, and a track east of those. On the other side of [[Knox St.]] there is a [[soccer field]] and the [[Knox Bowl]], a [[football]] field with a manmade hill all around it. [[Pot]] smoking and sledding are popular Knox Bowl activities. Getting caught in there incurs reference to the [[Office of Student Development]].<br />
<br />
The [[Campus Safety]] Office is located on [[Prairie St.]], near [[Berrien St.]] You pick up and drop off your keys there, although you generally do not need to during First-Year Orientation.<br />
<br />
The main convenience store for campus is the 24-hour [[Quick Sam's Convenience Convenient]] (seriously, that's what the sign says) at the corner of [[South Street|South]] and [[Academy Street|Academy]]. Unlike the [[C-Store]], they sell cigarettes and alcohol.<br />
<br />
==Faculty==<br />
<br />
The [[faculty]] are probably the best thing going at [[Knox]]. Many of Knox's professors are recent [[Ph.D.]] graduates who teach at Knox for a few years before moving to greener pastures, but the [[tenure]]d faculty are none the worse for staying (perhaps, in fact, they are better for it). Those who do stay are generally extremely committed to the teaching-college niche of Knox, as well as the slightly odd nature of the Knox and Galesburg community. Some of them just really like the house they bought, and/or don't want to sell it at a loss in [[Galesburg]]'s anemic real estate market. Students have a lot of contact with professors generally; some too little, some [[sex|too much]].<br />
<br />
A lot of Knox's professors are married to each other, which is another reason they get tenure. Some of them are obvious, like [[Robin Metz]] and [[Elizabeth Carlin-Metz]], or the [[Fineberg]]s. Some of them are less so, like [[Nancy Eberhardt]] and [[Steve Cohn]]. You probably shouldn't badmouth one to the other.<br />
<br />
The overwhelming majority of students get invited to a professor's house at least once. Knox ensures this by having the first-year advisors invite their advisees over for dinner during [[First-year Orientation]]. [[Nick Regiacorte|Nick]] and [[Sunshine Regiacorte]] serve really good pasta. Some of the other professors can't cook and do [[Joy Garden|takeout]] or something. But it's the thought that counts, and now when the [[Office of Admission]] recalculates the number for the admission brochures you'll have to say that you went to a professor's house once.<br />
<br />
==Staff==<br />
Knox has some wonderful [[staff]]. Sadly, most people miss the chance to meet many of them, except for those with whom they have [[campus employment]].<br />
<br />
==Administration==<br />
This well-meaning group of people keeps [[Knox]] on an even keel, charting a course toward [[financial impregnability]], as [[President of the College|President]] Roger Taylor might say. Members of the administrative offices are part of the staff.<br />
<br />
There are five main departments at Knox, each headed by a Vice President.<br />
<br />
===Roger and Anne Taylor===<br />
[[Roger Taylor]] is the college president. He used to be a lawyer for [[Kirkland & Ellis LLP]], in [[Chicago]]. He likes to introduce himself as an [[alum]], only for it to eventually dawn on you that he is the president. This is because Knox is humble and down-home. He may help you move your things in during [[orientation]]. During [[Commencement]], he pronounced 2007 as twenty-oh-seven. He is very concerned about [[financial impregnability|financial birth control]], and uses many techniques, including the [[Endowment|pill]], the [[Natatorium|withdrawal method]], and the messy [[Alumni Hall|partial-birth abortion]]. He likes to tell [[When Roger Met Anne|the story about how he met his wife Anne]] whenever he is within fifteen feet of a podium. If you visited Knox as a [[prospie]], you might have been met by Roger as the tour group stopped outside of his office. This was not an accident; he has the tour guides talk louder so he knows to come out and say hi and prove to you that Knox is humble and down-home. Sometimes he will eat in the [[Caf]] and sit down by random students to make conversation. It's a little [[awkward]].<br />
<br />
[[Anne Taylor]] is Roger's wife. She is also an attorney, and is special counsel for the college. She is no friend of [[Flunk Day]], for the multifarious liability issues. She makes sure Roger remembers people's names. She and Roger live at [[Ingersoll House]]. A few special functions, such as [[Mortarboard]] induction, might get you a chance to go in.<br />
<br />
===Office of Admission===<br />
Maybe you remember them? The [[Office of Admission]] is headed by Vice President for Enrollment and Dean of Admission [[Paul Steenis]]. You won't have much to do with the Office of Admission proper as a [[student]], but you will likely have dealings with the [[Office of Financial Aid]], under Director [[Terry Jackson]]. They send you a financial aid package, and help you out with student loans and so on (getting them, not paying for them).<br />
<br />
===Office of Advancement===<br />
Headed by Vice President of Advancement [[Beverly Holmes]], the [[Office of Advancement]] is comprised of the [[Office of Alumni Relations]] and the [[Development Office]] (not to be confused with the [[Office of Student Development]]). Their main concern is getting people, especially [[alumni]], to give the school [[money]], because we are [[endowment|poor]] and that course toward financial impregnability won't chart itself. If you wanted a rich school, transfer to bourgeois [[Grinnell]]. Befriend the people who work in this office - they know everything about all the alumni - and they are more helpful getting you in touch with important alums when you need a job than Career Services.<br />
<br />
===Office of Academic Affairs===<br />
The [[Office of Academic Affairs]] is run by [[Larry Breitborde]], Vice President for Academic Affairs and Dean of the College. [[Steve Bailey]] is the Associate Dean of the College, with whom you are likely to have more contact; Dean Bailey is a good person to know, as he can help you with problems large and small, academic and personal. This office is in charge of the [[faculty]] and most academic resources on campus, including the [[Library|libraries]], the [[Computer Center]], the [[Registrar]], [[Athletics]], the [[Lincoln Studies Center]], and various special programs including [[Honors]], the [[Ford Fellowship]], and the [[McNair Program]]. It also oversees all [[Faculty Advisor]]s, who help you pick classes. The [[Honor Code]] and [[Honor Board]] are considered parts of this Office.<br />
<br />
====Registrar====<br />
The [[Office of the Registrar]] is part of the Office of Academic Affairs. The Registrar is responsible for transcripts and grade reporting, and maintains your [[Educational Development Report]] (EDR). The Registrar's website, accessible [http://www.knox.edu/registrar.xml here], also has the most recent copy of the [[Knox College Catalog]], and the [[Academic Calendar]] for this and past years. The Registrar is responsible for class location assignments and class placement as well, and their system is what advisors log into to sign you up for classes.<br />
<br />
The current Registrar is [[Sheryl Kristensen]]. [[Karen Benedict]] is the office manager; your e-mails about class assignments and [[closeout]]s will come from her.<br />
<br />
====Computer Center====<br />
They are in charge of [[computer]]s, including both students' computers and the [[computer lab]]s. They also administer the Knox servers, which include your [[e-mail]] account, [[webmail]], [[home account]] (where you can store files you work on in computer labs on the server), and the wireless and wired [[Internet]] connections, and network printeres. The [[Computer Help Desk]] is also part of the Center. They maintain a lot of information about how to connect to the network at Knox. They also have a package of antivirus software that you're required to use. Winding up with a virus is no fun, but its less fun when you get quarantined (no internet access) and have to pay them to fix it for you. Their website is [http://www.knox.edu/computercenter.xml here]. The Steves - [[Steve Jones]] and [[Steve Hall]] - run this department.<br />
<br />
===Office of Student Development===<br />
The [[Office of Student Development]] is run by [[Xavier Romano]], Vice President for Student Development and Dean of Students. Xavier likes bow ties, and he probably thinks you're okay too. Xavier controls a [[Xavier Romano's Slush Fund|slush fund]]. Xavier also sends out the e-mail announcing when [[Flunk Day]] season begins, and when it is in fact Flunk Day. [[Debbie Southern]] is the Associate Dean for Student Development, and is in charge of [[Orientation]] and judicial affairs; when [[Campus Safety]] refers you to the Office of Student Development, you make an appointment with her to have your [[consequences|wrist slapped]]. This Office controls primarily nonacademic student affairs, the exception being the [[Center for Teaching and Learning]]. Other subordinate departments include the [[Campus Life Office]], the [[Conduct Council]], the [[Grievance Panel]], the [[Center for Career and Pre-Professional Development]], the [[Center for Community Service]], the [[Center for Intercultural Life]] (which is in charge of advising international students), the [[Counseling Center]], [[Health Services]] (which it outsources), and the [[TRIO Achievement Program]] for low-income students. They work with faculty committees such as the [[Student Life Committee]].<br />
<br />
====Campus Life====<br />
The [[Campus Life Office]], headed by [[Craig Southern]] (Debbie Southern's husband), is in charge of [[housing]] and [[student activities]]. It decides where you will live as a first-year, and it controls the [[Housing Lottery]] for returning students each [[Spring Term]]. It also plans student activities and events, working with [[Union Board]]. If you need to change rooms or register a [[party]], this is your go-to office. [[Cindy Wickliffe]], the secretary, coordinates a lot of campus events, so chances are signups for them will be at her desk. She is also the contact person for [[club]]s who need their [[copy card]] or information on their budgets. She will send you a lot of e-mails. Do not hit reply.<br />
<br />
====Center For Teaching and Learning====<br />
The [[CTL]] is run by [[John Haslem]], and is in charge of [[tutoring]] services. They organize weekly tutoring sessions in the [[Red Room]], and provide other services in that capacity. They also directly administrate the [[TRIO program]]. The CTL is located in a house along [[West St.]]<br />
<br />
====Conduct Council====<br />
The [[Conduct Council]] is the catch-all disciplinary tribunal for students and student organizations – all cases, except those involving academic dishonesty, discrimination, and sexual misconduct, are directed here. They operate by the rules of their constitution, accessible [http://www.knox.edu/x12121.xml here]. They are able to [[expel]] you. If you are cited with an [[alcohol violation]] which you do not admit to (and usually you did do it), you will be brought before the Conduct Council. They won't expel you for that, though – a $40 fine is standard.<br />
<br />
====Grievance Panel====<br />
The [[Grievance Panel]] is convened to hear cases of sexual harassment, discrimination, and sexual misconduct, such as [[rape]]. Since Knox prefers to keep its public reporting requirements down to one rape every other year, it can be difficult to get a good conviction, and in general the Grievance Panel process is convoluted and difficult to use. Conversely, the Galesburg Police Department has no such limit... Their constitution is available [http://www.knox.edu/x12122.xml here].<br />
<br />
===Office of Business, Finance, and Administrative Services===<br />
This department contains the various support services of the college and is run by [[Tom Axtell]], Vice President for Finance and Administrative Services and College Treasurer. Tom Axtell and the finance people calculate [[tuition]] and other fees, and process the money. [[Fundraising]] and the [[endowment]] are the province of the Office of Advancement. Within the Office's voluminous ranks are the [[Business Office]], [[Purchasing]], [[Human Resources]] (for the faculty), [[Postal Services]], the [[Bookstore]], [[Facilities Services]], [[Dining Services]], and [[Campus Safety]].<br />
<br />
====Business Office====<br />
They're the ones you send [[tuition]] to. If you don't pay it on time, [[Penny Young]] will be breathing down your neck. If you're always late she will know your name, and this is a bad thing. If she knows your name, it means she doesn't like you. The Business Office also handles disbursement of checks for [[campus employment]]. They will desperately want you to sign up for [[Direct Deposit]].<br />
<br />
====Postal Services====<br />
The [[mailroom]], basically. [[Neill Unger]] is in charge here. They also have the keys to [[Copy Services]].<br />
<br />
====Bookstore====<br />
Knox's [[bookstore]] is small but determined. They have a wide array of Knox apparel, and some choice books that nobody has ever bought ever, including 50,000 copies of ''[[Colleges That Change Lives]]''. They carry textbooks for [[class]]es, although often the prices are unfathomably high.<br />
<br />
====Facilities Services====<br />
[[Facilities Services|The custodians and maintenance folks]]. They clean your bathroom and take out your garbage, so be nice to them ([[KARES]] handles your [[recycling]] for the time being). They will [[Bed lofting|loft your bed]] if you put in a [[work order]], and they also do various building upkeep and some remodeling work. [[Scott Maust]] heads this department. He likes it when people make tracks in the [[snow]], because then he can see where he needs to build new sidewalks.<br />
<br />
====Dining Services====<br />
[[Dining Services]] includes all dining facilities on the Knox campus and their employees. [[Steve Farris]] was the director, until he passed away suddenly at the beginning of September, 2007. Dining Services is now headed by [[Helmut Mayer]]. Write a comment card to him in German sometime; it's fun. Unlike many other colleges, Dining Services is not outsourced (some time ago, [[Sodexho]] had the contract). The employees have a union and are fairly well-paid for food service workers. The food quality may not be fantastic, but you'll get over it. Actually, you probably won't, but you should. Shut up and eat a [[breakfast bagel]].<br />
<br />
====Campus Safety====<br />
[[Campus Safety]] is the Knox security force. [[John Schlaf]], the former [[Galesburg]] [[Galesburg Police Department|Chief of Police]], heads the department. Although Campus Safety is nominally meant to enforce the law, the college philosophy is to focus on safety instead of the legal [[drinking]] age. Nonetheless, if they see [[beer|it]], they will usually confiscate it.<br />
<br />
==Galesburg==<br />
[[Galesburg]] is a city of 33,000 people. Galesburg was founded along with Knox by abolitionists. Later on, it became a major [[railroad]] hub, and at one point had one of the largest [[railyards]] in [[North America]]. It was also the first yard to use hump-sorting, which is basically putting cars up on a hill and letting them roll where they're supposed to go. The railyards are currently owned by [[Burlington Northern Santa Fe]]. Rail emanates from Galesburg in several different directions, and as such two transcontinental passenger trains, the [[California Zephyr]] and the [[Southwest Chief]], serve Galesburg. The main railroad line runs just along the edge of Knox; the [[Memorial Gym]] is visible from the train when coming in from the west.<br />
<br />
Due to the railroad activity, Galesburg has a dozen sides of the tracks, all of them wrong. Some of them are less wrong than others, though. The least wrong one is the area where most professors live, north of downtown Galesburg past [[Water St.]], along [[Cherry St.]] and environs. Numerous railroad crossings make commutes in Galesburg unpredictable.<br />
<br />
Knox College occupies a position just south of downtown, separating [[downtown]] from Galesburg's [[Meth Lab District]] on the south and west sides of the school.<br />
<br />
===Vitals===<br />
Galesburg's ZIP code is 61401. The area code is 309. Galesburg is part of the 17th district of Illinois for the [[U.S.]] House. It is the county seat of [[Knox County]].<br />
<br />
In 2000, Galesburg's population was 33,706. The median per capita income in 2000 was $17,214, the median household income was $31,987. The median house value was about $65,400. This was previous to the [[Maytag]] closure, so all these numbers have undoubtedly decreased. <br />
<br />
===Climate===<br />
Galesburg is characterized by warm, humid [[summer]]s and cold, somewhat drier [[winter]]s. In the early [[fall]], late [[spring]], and summer, it will be very difficult to live without [[air conditioning]], but most [[residence hall]]s do not offer it. Heating is available using [[radiator]]s. [[Snow]]fall is significant, but there generally are not more than two or three storms a year that bring sufficient snow for sledding. [[Ice storm]]s are fairly common.<br />
<br />
'''Table of Temperature Averages, 1971-2000 (in degrees Fahrenheit)'''<br />
{|<br />
|''Element'' || ''Jan'' || ''Feb'' || ''Mar'' || ''Apr'' || ''May'' || ''Jun'' || ''Jul'' || ''Aug'' || ''Sep'' || ''Oct'' || ''Nov'' || ''Dec'' || ''Annual''<br />
|-<br />
| ''High'' || 29.0 || 35.1 || 47.9 || 61.2 || 72.5 || 81.4 || 84.5 || 81.9 || 74.7 || 62.7 || 46.7 || 33.4 || 59.3<br />
|-<br />
| ''Low'' || 13.5 || 19.2 || 29.4 || 40.2 || 51.4 || 60.8 || 65.3 || 63.2 || 54.7 || 42.9 || 30.8 || 19.2 || 40.9<br />
|-<br />
| ''Mean'' || 21.3 || 27.2 || 38.7 || 50.7 || 62.0 || 71.1 || 74.9 || 72.6 || 64.7 || 52.8 || 38.8 || 26.3 || 50.1<br />
|-<br />
| ''HDD'' || 1356 || 1059 || 817 || 434 || 176 || 17 || 5 || 17 || 92 || 386 || 788 || 1200 || 6347<br />
|-<br />
| ''CDD'' || 0 || 0 || 0 || 5 || 81 || 200 || 312 || 252 || 83 || 8 || 0 || 0 || 941<br />
|}<br />
''NOTE: HDD and CDD are Heating and Cooling Degree Days, the number of degrees the air must be heated or cooled to reach a base temperature of 65 degrees Fahrenheit.''<br />
<br />
'''Table of Rainfall Precipitation Averages, 1971-2000 (in inches)'''<br />
{|<br />
|''Element'' || ''Jan'' || ''Feb'' || ''Mar'' || ''Apr'' || ''May'' || ''Jun'' || ''Jul'' || ''Aug'' || ''Sep'' || ''Oct'' || ''Nov'' || ''Dec'' || ''Annual''<br />
|-<br />
|''Prec.'' || 1.41 || 1.55 || 2.84 || 3.81 || 3.97 || 4.18 || 4.37 || 4.07 || 3.50 || 2.52 || 2.72 || 2.28 || 37.22<br />
|}<br />
<br />
'''Table of Snowfall Precipitation Averages, 1971-2000 (in inches)'''<br />
{|<br />
|''Element'' || ''Jan'' || ''Feb'' || ''Mar'' || ''Apr'' || ''May'' || ''Jun'' || ''Jul'' || ''Aug'' || ''Sep'' || ''Oct'' || ''Nov'' || ''Dec'' || ''Annual''<br />
|-<br />
|''Snow'' || 8.3 || 5.2 || 2.8 || 1.5 || 0.0 || 0.0 || 0.0 || 0.0 || 0.0 || 0.1 || 1.8 || 5.8 || 25.5<br />
|}<br />
<br />
''Climate data obtained from the Illinois State Climatologist Office's State Water Survey, accessible [http://www.sws.uiuc.edu/atmos/statecli/Summary/Illinois.htm here].''<br />
<br />
===Address System===<br />
Galesburg, like many cities, is organized on a grid system, with address numbers radiating out from a central zero point. In Galesburg, that zero point is the [[Public Square]] roundabout at the intersection of [[Main Street|Main]] and [[Broad Street|Broad]] streets. Main runs east-west, and Broad runs north-south. Cardinal directions are used on most street names to distinguish between north and south or east and west addresses (for instance, [[Old Main]]'s address is 2 East [[South St.]], which places it just east of Broad St. along South St.). This leads to inadvertently funny street combinations, like the intersection of South [[West Street|West]] and West South streets.<br />
<br />
===Background===<br />
Galesburg has long been a railroad town. It also used to have a large [[Maytag]] refrigerator plant. That plant was the area's largest employer, until the Maytag company decided to pack up the profitable Galesburg plant and move it to [[Reynosa, Mexico]]. Decisions like this ultimately destabilized Maytag, and now the brand is owned by Whirlpool. There is little love for Maytag in Galesburg; one organization bought one of the last Galesburg Maytag refrigerators and a sledgehammer and held a $2 a whack fundraiser. They raised a lot of money. Since then the economy has been flagging – a number of the stores [[downtown]] have closed, and some people have left the area. Many have gone to school to retrain for other work, flooding the nursing market, for instance. Some [[Non-traditional student|attended Knox for a few years]]. Other Maytag employees have ended up working at Knox, including a substantial number in [[Dining Services]].<br />
<br />
While Maytag is the most recent and the touchstone example, it is one in a long string of setbacks for Galesburg, including the withdrawal of the [[Galesburg Mental Health Center]], the [[Gale Products Manufacturing Division]] of Outboard Marine Corp., and others, resulting in the loss of nearly 8000 good-paying union jobs.<br />
<br />
Galesburg has also been hit with [[methamphetamines]], which for many is now a popular pastime. The town has been working at getting on its feet, attempting to use its railroad proximity to attract [[China|Chinese]] investors, with some success. Still, the area's largest employer is [[Farmland Foods]], a pig slaughterhouse in [[Monmouth]]. [[Burlington Northern Santa Fe]], Knox, and the local community college, [[Carl Sandburg College]], are major employers as well. <br />
<br />
Galesburg will soon be home to the [[Railroad Hall of Fame]]. It is also the site of [[Railroad Days]] and the national [[Stearman Fly-In]].<br />
<br />
===Downtown Galesburg===<br />
Downtown Galesburg is, more or less, the area bordered by [[South St.]] to the south, [[North St.]] to the north, [[West St.]] to the west, and [[Seminary St.]] to the east. The entirety is within easy walking distance of the college.<br />
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Seminary St. is the restored old-timey city center. A developer came in and paved the street with brick, and put $1000 a month apartments on the upper floors of the shops, apparently thinking that he was in Martha's Vineyard at the time. It is nonetheless a nice area, if sometimes a little upmarket for college students. Strung along Seminary are [[Innkeeper's Coffee]], [[Cornucopia]] (a miniature Trader Joe's sort of natural foods place), [[Uncle Billy's Bakery]] (connected to Cornucopia – the spinach bread is the single best thing about Galesburg), [[Chez Willy's]] (as haute cuisine as Galesburg will ever get, but rather expensive), [[Stone Alley Books and Collectibles]] (amazing), [[The Landmark]] (not quite as formal, a little less expensive, and also very good – try the lobster bisque), [[The Packinghouse]] (a steakhouse, just off Seminary on Mulberry St.), the [[Seminary St. Pub]], a [[wine bar]] on the street behind Seminary (Chambers St.), and the Amtrak station.<br />
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[[Cherry St.]] is three blocks east of Seminary, and is the locus of the [[Local bars|bar scene]], with [[McGillacuddy's]] (which is where [[Jazz Night]] is held on Thursdays, open to all ages), [[Cherry Street Bar and Grill]], [[GP's Lounge]], and [[Duffy's]].<br />
<br />
[[Main St.]] also has a number of destinations. Along Main you will find the [[Dollar General]] thrift store, [[Joy Garden]] Chinese takeout and delivery, most of the banks including a [[Wells Fargo]] and an [[Associated Bank]], and the [[Broadview]]. In terms of bars there is [[Crappy's]], [[La Mesa]], and [[Big John's Silver Dollar Saloon]].<br />
<br />
Other popular places downtown include [[Pizza House]] and [[Kaldi's]] (both on [[Simmons St.]]). The [[Knox County Courthouse]] is an old-looking building with a tower, located at Cherry and South streets. The local congressman, [[Phil Hare]], has his district office near Broad and Water streets. The [[Galesburg Public Library]] is located at Simmons and Broad, and the [[Galesburg City Hall]] on Broad between Simmons and [[Tompkins Street|Tompkins]] streets. The tallest building in Galesburg is the fifteen-story round brick building at the corner of Simmons and [[Cedar Street|Cedar]] streets. It holds old people. The [[Knox County Jail]] and the offices of the [[Register-Mail]] newspaper are located on [[Prairie St.]], between Simmons St. and Tompkins St. The [[Orpheum Theatre]] is on [[Kellogg Street]], just south of Main.<br />
<br />
Many of Knox's off-campus students live in the downtown area. Examples include the [[Dude Ranch]], [[Graveyard House]], and the [[Yellow Apartments]].<br />
<br />
===North Henderson Street===<br />
The other major shopping district in Galesburg is the area around North [[Henderson Street]] and [[Carl Sandburg Drive]]. This is the more typical big-box [[suburb]]an shopping area, and generally you have to access it by car. It features the [[Carl Sandburg Mall]], which is basically a [[Sears]], [[K-Mart]], [[JC Penney]], and [[Bergner's]] with a few shops in the hallways between them. A [[Hy-Vee]] grocery store is there, and there is a [[Target]] just west of Henderson on Carl Sandburg. The [[YMCA]] and the [[Showplace 8]] movie theater are further along Carl Sandburg, near the intersection with [[Fremont St.]] There is a [[Staples]] on National Blvd., but the turnoff is confusing and half the time you'll end up on [[Highway 34]], so it's easier to head to the [[Lowe's]] parking lot off Carl Sandburg east of Henderson, and cut through there. Further south on Henderson, there is a sex shop, [[Romantix]], located at the intersection of Henderson and Losey streets. There is also a standalone [[Hy-Vee Wine and Spirits]] on Henderson, and an [[Econofoods]]. There are several restaurants along the road, including [[Old Peking]], [[New China Buffet]], the [[Rib Shack]], [[Perkins]], [[La Gondola]], and fast food restaurants like [[Taco Bell]] and [[Arby's]].<br />
<br />
===Eastern Galesburg===<br />
The area east of the [[BNSF]] mainline is less traveled by Knox students, but has some useful resources. The popular Mexican restaurant [[Jalisco's]] and another [[Hy-Vee]] (with an attached [[Hy-Vee Wine and Spirits]]), are all on [[Main St.]] The [[Carl Sandburg]] birthplace is a favorite for nighttime pilgrimages, and is located at the corner of [[Third Street|Third]] and [[Kellogg Street|Kellogg]] streets, accessible from the [[Third Street Overpass]].<br />
<br />
===North Cherry Street===<br />
[[Cherry St.]] north of downtown has some of Galesburg's nicest houses, and thus most of the professors live in this area. [[Cottage Hospital]], the main hospital for students, is located at the corner of Kellogg and Losey streets.<br />
<br />
===Outside of Town===<br />
[[Lake Storey]] is a lake north of [[Highway 34]] off of Henderson St. It has a playground and some boat rides, and a nice park. You can't really swim in the thing though.<br />
<br />
The [[Hill Correctional Center]] is Galesburg's lovely prison. It is located on the southwest edge of town, on N [[Linwood Road]].<br />
<br />
Next to the prison is the old [[Maytag]] plant, off of [[Monmouth Blvd.]]<br />
<br />
==ID Cards and Faces==<br />
All Knox students receive an [[ID card]]. The ID card contains the [[student]]'s name, photograph, ID number, date of birth, and the card's expiration date (one week after the expected date of graduation). The ID card is grey, and the photograph is generally ugly. The cards are not particularly durable, and even after less than one year the lamination will peel, the photograph will fade (and none too soon), and and card body may even start to crack. Some student punch holes in their cards so they can be put on keyrings, but this greatly reduces the life of the card. The back of the card has a magnetic strip for use in swiping [[meals]] and using [[Dining Dollars]] and [[Flex Dollars]]. There are plans to integrate card-swipe entry for [[residence hall]] doors, but as yet there are none with this feature.<br />
<br />
ID cards are made in the [[Dining Services]] office, which is accessed from outside of [[Seymour]] just west of the [[Caf]]. [[Orientation]] groups are assigned to go together to get their ID photos taken, but it is easy enough to go before the scheduled trips start and get it done with no wait at all.<br />
<br />
The photograph taken for your ID photo also ends up on [[Faces]], the student directory. It also ends up on your [[EDR]] and on the attendance sheets for every [[class]] you ever take. That photograph will haunt you until you [[graduate]].<br />
<br />
Lost ID card replacement costs $15. If you want your picture retaken, and the new picture promulgated to Faces and everywhere else, it will set you back $25.<br />
<br />
Your ID number will show up on your ID card as nine digits, but only the last six digits are your real ID number. This number is useful for all sorts of things, so it's good to memorize it. You can find out the ID numbers of other people by going into Faces – the photograph filenames are the ID numbers. This is useful during [[Housing Lottery]].<br />
<br />
==Meals and Eating==<br />
This section deals with your meal plan and dining options.<br />
<br />
===Meal Plan===<br />
Nearly all Knox students are required to purchase a [[meal plan]], which makes up the [[board]] costs of [[tuition]]. A few exceptions are made for students living [[off-campus]] and those with real or faked medical problems. If you're desperate to get off board, a note from your doctor to [[Helmut Mayer]] will do it, although they will not be pleased. Acid reflux disease is a pretty good excuse. A gluten allergy is even better. If you are unfortunately bereft of these afflictions, then "fake it till you make it," as it were, and get your family doctor to lie for you.<br />
<br />
For everyone else, there are five meal plans, all of which cost $1020 per [[term]], or $3060 per year.<br />
<br />
{|<br />
| || '''Meals/Term''' || '''Guest Meals''' || '''Dining Dollars''' || '''Price Per Meal'''<br />
|-<br />
|'''Premier 200''' || 200 || 20 || $75 || $4.73<br />
|-<br />
|'''Premier 150''' || 150 || 15 || $150 || $5.80<br />
|-<br />
|'''Premier 125''' || 125 || 12 || $190 || $6.64<br />
|-<br />
|'''Premier 100''' || 100 || 10 || $225 || $7.95<br />
|-<br />
|'''Premier 75''' || 75 || 7 || $265 || $10.07<br />
|}<br />
<br />
Meals are counted in swipes, and are redeemable at the [[Caf]] and the [[Oak Room]] as one swipe per meal. One can also use them at the [[Grab-n-Go]] locations, where each food item has a point value, and 10 points equals one swipe.<br />
<br />
Guest meals are like meals, but they cannot be used on you. They can be used for visitors, or for fellow students who have lost their cards.<br />
<br />
[[Dining Dollars]] are basically debit cash. They are redeemable only at the [[Gizmo]] and the [[C-Store]], and one Dining Dollar is equal to one [[U.S.]] dollar.<br />
<br />
[[Flex Dollars]], which are not mentioned in the table above, can be optionally added to your card in various increments. They can be used at the Gizmo and the C-Store as well, although Dining Dollars are more common, so if you use Flex Dollars you need to specify that to the cashier. Flex Dollars may also be used on college [[copy machine]]s.<br />
<br />
Keep in mind that meals and dining dollars are not transferable, and they do not roll over to the next term, so don't get the plan with 200 meals if you aren't going to use them. Many students with a huge overage of meals like to buy large amounts of [[soda]] at the Grab-n-Go near the end of each term, but the Grab-n-Go workers quickly tire of this.<br />
<br />
===Dining Options===<br />
The daily and weekly menus can be found on the right-hand side of the [http://www.knox.edu/current-students.html "Current Students"] section of the Knox website.<br />
<br />
====The Hard Knox Café (The Caf)====<br />
This is the main eating area, featuring varyingly mediocre buffet-style food with a mid-80s hospital ambience. The offerings change daily, although there are a number of mainstays. There are a number of [[vegetarian]] options, although [[vegan]]s will be somewhat more limited.<br />
<br />
=====Breakfast=====<br />
The Caf offers a small [[breakfast]] on most mornings, including a limited omelette bar, and some small variety of breakfast food, including a wide variety of cereals. [[Sunday brunch]] is much more extensive, as it is basically lunch, and offers breakfast staples such as pancakes and the omelette bar along with Sunday brunch specials like chicken strips and tortellini.<br />
<br />
From Monday to Saturday breakfast is offered from 7:30-10:00AM. Sunday brunch is available from 10:00AM to 2:00PM.<br />
<br />
=====Lunch=====<br />
At [[lunch]] there is a larger variety of food, including pasta, a salad bar, soup, a hamburger grill, pizza, and a sandwich bar, plus offerings that change from day to day. There is a toaster oven available. Dessert options, including ice cream, a baked special, and cereal are also available.<br />
<br />
Lunch is available from 11:00AM to 2:00PM. Sunday brunch is 10:00AM to 2:00PM.<br />
<br />
=====Dinner=====<br />
[[Dinner]] features the same offerings as lunch, except that the sandwich bar is reduced in size to make way for the [[wok station]], which is sort of a miniature Mongolian BBQ thing. Sometimes there is a [[personal pizza bar]] instead.<br />
<br />
Dinner is available from 4:30PM to 7:30PM, seven days a week.<br />
<br />
====Oak Room====<br />
The [[Oak Room]] is located right next to the Caf. The atmosphere and the food in the Oak Room are somewhat better, generally, but the Oak Room only offers a small menu each day, and is single-pass instead of buffet, so it is much less popular. It has ample seating, and is quieter than the Caf. Students getting food at the Oak Room can have their hand stamped for re-entry to the Caf, where they can take their food and have access to the Caf's buffet as well.<br />
<br />
The Oak Room is open for lunch Monday through Friday from 11:00AM to 1:30PM, and for dinner Monday through Thursday from 5:00PM to 7:00PM. It is closed on weekends, in part so that local high schools can hold their proms there.<br />
<br />
====Gizmo====<br />
The [[Gizmo]] is a snack bar and short-order grill, open all day. Its offerings include soft drinks, coffee, a sub bar, grilled items such as hamburgers and chicken sandwiches, various breakfast items, [[bagel pizza|bagel]] and personal pizzas, and a daily special available during lunchtime. It is most famous for its [[breakfast bagel]].<br />
<br />
The Gizmo is open on Monday through Thursday from 10:00AM to 1:00AM. On Friday and Saturday it is open from 10:00AM to 12:00AM. On Sunday it is open from 2:00PM to 1:00AM. Lunch specials are available while the other eateries are serving lunch. The sub bar generally closes two hours before the Gizmo closes, and the grill closes a half hour before closing.<br />
<br />
====Grab-n-Go====<br />
The [[Grab-n-Go]] is a quick bagged lunch for people who are in too much of a hurry to go to the Gizmo, but not in enough hurry to skip a long line. It offers a daily-changing selection of sandwiches, sides, and drinks. There is one Grab-n-Go in [[Seymour Hall]], and another in [[Post Lobby]].<br />
<br />
====Breakfast Grab-n-Go====<br />
The [[Breakfast Grab-N-Go]] is located in the [[Oak Room]] and works much the same as the lunch one, except with breakfast food and much shorter lines.<br />
<br />
====Outpost====<br />
Don't call it the Outpost, call it the [[C-Store]]. It offers the widest range of drinks on campus, as well as condiments, microwave food, ice, chips, some basic groceries and hygiene products, prophylactics, and over-the-counter medicines. It does not sell [[alcohol]] or [[tobacco]]. The prices and selection are sometimes better at [[Quick Sam's]], and the hours are certainly longer. However, the C-store defnintely carries more natural food/organic/grocery items than the Quickie.<br />
<br />
The C-Store is open Monday through Friday from 8:30AM to 11:00PM, and Saturday and Sunday from 12:00PM to 10:00PM.<br />
<br />
==Advisors and Picking Classes==<br />
Each [[student]], upon matriculation, is assigned their very own [[advisor]], whom they share with some number of other [[first-year]]s, as well as three classes' worth of other students. [[Professor]]s who are in their first year of teaching at Knox are not permitted to take on advisees. For first-years the professor assignment is random, since your [[major]] has not been declared; once your major is declared you have one advisor of your choice (and their consent) for each major, although most people generally decide on one as their primary advisor for picking [[class]]es.<br />
<br />
During [[First-Year Orientation]], as mentioned before, professors are supposed to invite incoming students over for dinner in order to pad the [[admission]] brochures, give [[Dining Services]] some grace time to get their act together, and to a lesser extent to get to know them and have them get to know each other.<br />
<br />
Classes are picked in an advisor's office, by appointments – most advisors have sign-ups posted on their doors for each [[pre-enrollment]] period. At the appointment, there may be some discussion of your academic track and so on, based on whatever your circumstances are. If you haven't yet done so, they may start urging you to figure out your major or work on your [[Educational Development Plan]]. The professor reviews your [[EDR]], and then ultimately you are allowed to pick classes, which usually you have pre-selected using the [[class schedule]] mailed to you (either to home for incoming first-years or to your campus mailbox for all other terms). The professor enters your selections into the computer, and undertakes (or not, as the case may be) to give "instructor permission" or override prerequisites.<br />
<br />
If a chosen class is nearly full, they may encourage students with less seniority to take something else. After the pre-enrollment period, the numbers are totaled up, and after setting aside spaces for the sign-ups who have to have the class, they perform a lottery for everyone else. This is intended to keep it fair between early and late sign-ups; however, since advisors can see the current totals, you're more likely to get placed in your top choices, at least at first, if you sign up early.<br />
<br />
==Campus Employment==<br />
Most [[campus employment]] opportunities are offered with prejudice to students who have [[work-study]] allotments as part of their [[Financial Aid]] package. Some programs allow non-work-study students to sign up several weeks into the term, if there is any space remaining, and some of the less formal ones don't necessarily care as much one way or the other.<br />
<br />
Work-study allotments can be for up to ten hours a week, which, under the $7.50 minimum wage in effect for 2007-2008, amounts to about $2250 for the year. You actually pay to the school the entirety of the allotment as part of the [[tuition]] checks; the actual work-study done is then "reimbursed" to you through paychecks. The caveat here is that few students will get paychecks amounting to the full amount. The income, after all, may be taxable. Also, there is a shortage of work-study positions on campus (at the very least, while there is a mathematical equality, the actual difficulties of holding multiple work-study jobs to fill smaller voids lead to some amount of de facto campus unemployment or underemployment).<br />
<br />
For incoming first-years there is a [[job fair]] held in [[CFA]]. Those who don't get offers from that may have to go around to specific places and ask (this is how it's done for everyone else). The [[Dining Services]] office, where your [[ID card]] was made, is where signups are for all Dining Services positions.<br />
<br />
Student employee positions are of three types: monitors (for instance in the computer labs), service employees (for instance in Dining Services), and office-ish work ([[libraries]], [[publication]] [[editor]]s, and sundry departments).<br />
<br />
However, there are also departmental jobs that you gain after a year of being at school, most notably through the [[Theatre]] which includes jobs of skill like the [[Scene Shop]], [[Costume Shop]], and Departmental Dramaturg.<br />
<br />
Generally, the least desirable positions are considered to be those in Dining Services and [[Facilities Services]]. The most desirable positions are library jobs and some of the office work, most of which is only available to returning students who have a rapport with the particular office. Facilities and Dining positions aren't necessarily bad, however, and some students have opted to work in the same position for several years at a time. Dining Services is also first-come, first-serve, and does not offer advantage based on seniority. The [[Gizmo]] used to run its schedule separately and did give weight to seniority, but then Dining Services stole it. The other big advantage to Dining Services work is that it offers a $100 bonus beyond one's work-study allotment for students who work 90% of their scheduled shifts.<br />
<br />
Many positions must tabulate their hours using [[KRONOS]], the employment computer system. Some Dining Services employees only have to swipe their ID card in and out. Some of the office positions have tallying by hand, or are basically salaried for a particular number of hours regardless of what is worked.<br />
<br />
===Off-Campus===<br />
Some students choose to work off-campus. Some places employing students are [[Innkeeper's]], [[Kaldi's]], [[Chez Willy's]], and [[Cornucopia]]. Those with cars and a lot of time may commute to Peoria or the Quad Cities to work.<br />
<br />
==Honor Code==<br />
The [[Honor Code]] is Knox's policy of academic honesty. It was adopted in 1951. Many students have learned all about the principles of academic honesty in [[high school]]; some haven't; some haven't and think they have. All students, regardless of prior instruction in the matter, should thoroughly read the Honor Code booklet, which is sent to all first-years by mail. Knox considers all students as having read and agreed to it by matriculating, and thus students will be held fully liable for failure to comply with the Honor Code. A PDF copy of the pamphlet is available [http://www.knox.edu/prebuilt/PDFs/HonorBooklet.pdf here].<br />
<br />
The Honor Code basically says that the school trusts students not to cheat, but if they do the school will pull no punches. As part of the trust component, professors are not supposed to monitor students during exams, and students are allowed to take exams anywhere in the building (except bathrooms and other nonpublic areas). However, students are expected to report suspicious behavior to the [[Honor Board]], and professors are required to – they are not allowed to deal with cases of alleged academic dishonesty informally.<br />
<br />
===Honor Board===<br />
The [[Honor Board]] is the enforcer of the Honor Code, and the tribunal for students accused of academic dishonesty. It is comprised of nine students, three from each class, as well as two members of the faculty. The co-chairs of Honor Board for 2009-2010 are [[Carrie Bueche]] and [[Hannah Cynn]]. <br />
<br />
When a student is accused of academic dishonesty, the Honor Board is convened to hear the evidence and various sides of the story. Verdicts have generally been for guilty, since Knox makes it rather difficult to get caught in the first place. The standard penalty for the first offense is an F in the class; for the second, [[expulsion]]. Deviations are rarely made, and certainly not for professed ignorance. Again, you should probably read that pamphlet.<br />
<br />
Honor Board decisions may be appealed on three grounds: new evidence, procedural error, or Honor Board bias. Appeals are heard by an appeals committee consisting of the [[Dean of the College]] and one Honor Board member.<br />
<br />
If you are wealthy, or your parents are [[alumni]] and/or have been generous in their giving to the school, certain officials of the [[administration]] have been rumored to be willing to intervene on your behalf in order to satisfy [[financial impregnability|higher goals]]. The reality and frequency of this intervention is unclear.<br />
<br />
==Campus Safety and Discipline==<br />
[[Campus Safety]] is Knox's security force. They make rounds of the school, unprop doors, pour out beer, and the like. Sometimes they drive around in a heavy-duty golf cart. Their Knox extension is x7979.<br />
<br />
Campus Safety maintains the emergency phones located throughout campus (they have blue lights on them). They manage keys, and maintain the [[Escort]] program for nighttime walking. If you need to get into a campus building (such as [[WVKC]]), or you are locked out of your room, Campus Safety lets you in. You get two free [[lockout]]s for your room each year, and after that they charge you. Lost keys cost $50 to replace.<br />
<br />
Campus Safety also breaks up [[parties]], or drops in on registered parties to ensure that there is not any illicit [[alcohol]] service. However, on the whole they are more concerned with making sure nobody is in danger, and only address alcohol violations when they are obvious.<br />
<br />
[[John Schlaf]], the [[Campus Safety Director]], used to be the Chief of the [[Galesburg Police Department]], so Knox and the GPD have a close working relationship.<br />
<br />
===Alcohol Violation===<br />
If you are caught in an alcohol violation, one of two things may happen to you. At a large party, for instance, your drink may be confiscated without consequence. However, at smaller events he will ask for your ID card, and from it ascertain your name and date of birth. If you don't have it on you they will identify you from [[Faces]]. You will be cited, and within a few days the [[Office of Student Development]] will contact you to have you make an appointment with [[Debbie Southern]]. The proceedings for this are not sent home, even if you are on break, and your parents are not informed, even if you are a minor at the time. At your appointment, Debbie Southern tells you your options, and you can either admit the crime and pay the fine or go to a [[Conduct Council]] hearing to deny it. Sometimes she will dismiss the case herself if you have sufficient evidence to your benefit. The procedure is not at all harrowing, and the questioning is very limited. The standard fine for an alcohol violation is $40, payable in cash or as an addition to the student account at the [[Business Office]].<br />
<br />
Also, be nice to Debbie, she is not evil and is not out to get you. She's a geniunely nice person and understands college life, possibly better than some of the students. You have nothing to gain from going into her office in a bad mood and defenses up. She's not going to yell at you or make you feel bad. She just needs to know what happened.<br />
<br />
==Student Government==<br />
Knox maintains a substantial student government in order to, at least in theory, ensure the students' voice is heard. Which students? Well, that's a matter for debate.<br />
<br />
The chief part of student government is the [[Student Senate]]. The other major entity is [[Union Board]]. There is also an [[Intramurals Board]] and two Greek governance organizations, the [[Interfraternity Council]] and the [[Panhellenic Council]]. [[Honor Board]], [[Conduct Council]], and the [[Grievance Panel]] have significant student roles, but have been described above.<br />
<br />
===Student Senate===<br />
[[Student Senate]] is the [[Knox]] [[student]] body's primary legislative organization. It seats fifty senators, elected using plurality bloc voting by single- and multi-member districts, which are currently drawn by Senate's [[Executive Board]] each year. The Executive Board is comprised of a President, a Vice-President, a Treasurer, a Communications Officer, and the chairs of five committees (totaling eight, since the Treasurer is chair of the [[Finance Committee]]). Each of the fifty members of Senate belongs to one of these committees. Students are also drawn from Senate to serve as student representatives on faculty committees.<br />
<br />
Elections for district senators take place during [[Fall Term]] each year, and those elected take their seats by the beginning of October. Elections for officers take place each [[Spring Term]].<br />
<br />
Senate has advisory powers on all aspects of Knox's governance, and may pass resolutions expressing the sense of the Senate and its recommendations. These are often ignored; sometimes they are not. Senate members also work within the faculty committees and with the administration to effect their wishes. Senate's primary special power is the allotment of budget money to the various clubs on campus, both in yearly budgets and through the [[Senate Discretionary Fund]].<br />
<br />
Senate meets in the [[Round Room]] in [[CFA]] on Thursdays at 7:00PM. <br />
<br />
====Criticism of Student Senate====<br />
Student Senate has borne criticism on many different issues over the past several years. What democracy exists in the Senate was only introduced about five years ago, when Senate was changed from a self-appointing body to an elected one. However, some trends against democracy have been noted.<br />
<br />
In [[Spring Term 2007]], Senate voted to limit those eligible to run for President to those who had served on Senate for a year. This was an attempt to ensure that the chair of Senate meetings was already familiar with the procedures, but it was seen by many as a step away from democracy.<br />
<br />
Moreover, after Senate adjourned for [[Summer Break 2007]], the incoming Executive Board, using a questionable interpretation of the [[Text of Student Senate Constitution and By-Laws|Senate Constitution]], amended the By-Laws to [[Student Senate#Executive Board By-Laws Rewrite 2007|drastically alter key parts of Senate procedures]], so that all resolutions proposed by Student Senate would have to go through committee. This means that the Executive Board now has power to approve or deny the passage of a resolution based upon the opinions of an eight-person Executive Board, or even so small a group as the committee chair or the Senate President. Many senators have protested what appears, to them, to be a reduction to rubber-stamp status, without an opportunity to vote on it; the Executive Board intends to introduce the changes at the first Senate meeting as a fait accompli.<br />
<br />
Senate's electoral procedures have also been under fire in the past. Senate currently allows the Vice-President to draw new districts each year, leading to arbitrary and inconsistent district shapes and sizes. Some have alleged that this has also resulted in gerrymandering, most notably increasing the representation of certain small groups, of which [[TKE]] is the most notable. The use of plurality bloc voting, which allows voters to vote for as many candidates as there are positions, ensures that a small bloc of people voting together can disproportionately control the outcome in the district.<br />
<br />
There are fears that the current Executive Board will prove to be more amenable to the interests of the administration than those of the students.<br />
<br />
Publicity is also an issue. While Senate meetings are open to the public, the minutes taken and distributed to the school are not complete, and often butcher whatever the speakers were saying. Committee meetings are open to the public, but no minutes are taken. Executive Board meetings generally do not encourage public involvement, and no minutes are taken. This is especially notable because the Executive Board has directed more decisions through these less public channels.<br />
<br />
===Union Board===<br />
The [[Union Board]] is in charge of organizing major events on campus of all different shapes and sizes. They are most famous for organizing [[Flunk Day]].<br />
Union Board regularly receives criticism for the events it holds. When it was holding a number of smaller events, students wanted one big event. When they brought in [[Pablo Francisco]] (the biggest comedian Knox has the clout to book), the students didn't like it. Union Board cannot please all the people all the time.<br />
<br />
Then again, there are many who would say they pleased nobody.<br />
<br />
===Intramurals Board===<br />
The Intramurals Board is the organization in charge of intramural sports, such as [[Ultimate Frisbee]] or [[Dodgeball]] and more traditional sports. They are much less formalized and skill-conscious than the [[Athletics Department]].<br />
<br />
===Interfraternity and Panhellenic councils===<br />
The [[Interfraternity Council]] and the [[Panhellenic Council]] are the governing bodies for male and female Greek organizations. They address some judicial matters as well as plan events and so forth.<br />
<br />
==Publications and Radio==<br />
Knox maintains several [[publication]]s and one [[WVKC|radio station]]. Most of these publications are overseen and funded through the [[Broadcast, Internet, and Publications Board]] (Board of Publications), a subcommittee of the [[Student Life Committee]].<br />
<br />
===''The Knox Student''===<br />
''[[The Knox Student]]'', known informally as ''TKS'', is the school newspaper. It comes out weekly on Thursdays. It contains a large variety of information, including feature articles and news, outdated information about last week's Student Senate proceedings, national and international news briefs, the [[Campus Safety Log]] (a list of all [[Campus Safety]] reports and citations, including fire alarms and alcohol violations), movie and music reviews, the [[Mosaic]] culture section, the [[Discourse]] op-ed section, and a sports section. The newspaper office is in the [[S.S. McClure Publications Office]] in Seymour. ''TKS'' is funded through the Board of Publications.<br />
<br />
===''Catch''===<br />
''[[Catch]]'' is Knox's award-winning literary journal. It features mainly creative writing such as short stories and poetry, as well as some [[photography]] for aesthetic appeal. Other genres, such as journalism or critical works, are sometimes accepted, but generally if they offer interest in the [[Creative Writing]] sphere only. Each ''Catch'' issue (there are two each year) is designed differently, with a level of complexity ranging from boringly elegant to matchbook-pasted-to-the-front-cover pretentious. ''Catch'' is a selective publication, and those pieces that are accepted are edited at the whims of the editors. The selection process is blind to help reduce bias. The ''Catch'' office is in the S.S. McClure Publications Office in Seymour. The current Editors-in-Chief are [[Brian Lowe]] and [[Alice Holbrook]]. ''Catch'' is funded through the Board of Publications.<br />
<br />
===''Cellar Door''===<br />
''[[Cellar Door]]'' is a more inclusive literary journal that focuses less on production and more on workshopping and the writing process. It is published about twice a year, using simple staple-bound newsprint. Each issue concentrates on a general theme, such as "Family" or "[[Suburb]]ia." ''Cellar Door'' features articles by [[faculty]] and others as well as by students. All submissions are accepted, so long as the writer is amenable to the workshopping process. Submitters are also required to sign a declaration saying that they love their work. If you don't love your work, stick with ''Catch''. ''Cellar Door'' is funded through the Board of Publications.<br />
<br />
===''Quiver''===<br />
''[[Quiver]]'' is a webzine collective started by several students and [[Robin Metz]]. It is comprised of three separate zines: ''[[The Third Level]]'', which publishes science fiction and fantasy; ''[[Wynken, Blynken, and Nod]]'', which publishes children's literature; and ''[[Diminished Capacity]]'', which publishes humor. Submissions are read collectively by ''Quiver's'' entire editorial board, but each webzine is managed by three of its own editors. It is currently not funded.<br />
<br />
===''The Common Room''===<br />
''[[The Common Room]]'' is an online journal of [[Literature|literary criticism]], begun in response to ''Catch'', which covers the Creative Writing aspects of the [[English Department]]. It is currently not funded.<br />
<br />
===WVKC===<br />
[[WVKC]] (The Voice) is Knox's radio station. The studio is located on the fourth floor of [[GDH]]. Almost all of the DJs are students; there is a signup and orientation meeting near the beginning of each term, advertised throughout campus. WVKC's frequency is 90.7 FM, and the broadcasting radius reaches about 55,000 area residents. WVKC is funded through the Board of Publications.<br />
<br />
==Clubs==<br />
The majority of student activities at Knox come under the auspices of the various student clubs. These clubs receive their funding from Student Senate, and use it as they see fit (subject to various regulations) to produce events and further causes.<br />
<br />
At the beginning of each school year there is a [[Club Fair]] where students can sign up to be on the mailing lists of various clubs.<br />
<br />
===Academic Clubs===<br />
* [[Anthropology and Sociology Club]]<br />
* [[Business Club]]<br />
* [[Chemistry Club]]<br />
* [[Classics Club]]<br />
* [[Educational Studies Club]]<br />
* [[French Club]]<br />
* [[Friends of Green Oaks]]<br />
* [[German Club]]<br />
* [[History Club]]<br />
* [[Photography Club]]<br />
* [[Physics Club]]<br />
* [[Pre-Law Club]]<br />
* [[Pre-Med Club]]<br />
* [[Rocketry Club]]<br />
* [[Spanish Club]]<br />
* [[Speech and Debate]]<br />
<br />
===Community Service Clubs===<br />
* [[Alpha Phi Omega]]<br />
* [[Best Buddies]]<br />
* [[Circle K]]<br />
* [[Habitat for Humanity]]<br />
* [[Invisible Children]]<br />
* [[KARES]] (Knox Advocates for Recycling and Environmental Support)<br />
* [[Knox Community Garden]]<br />
* [[Odyssey Mentoring Program]]<br />
<br />
===Cultural and Political Clubs===<br />
* [[AAINA]] (Southern Asian student group)<br />
* [[ABLE]] (Allied Blacks for Liberty and Equality)<br />
* [[Alliance for Peaceful Action]]<br />
* [[Amnesty International]]<br />
* [[Anime Club]]<br />
* [[Art Club]]<br />
* [[Asian Students Association]] (ASA)<br />
* [[Chinese Club]]<br />
* [[Common Ground]] (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender group)<br />
* [[Estudiantes Sin Frontieras]] (Students Without Borders)<br />
* [[Food for Thought]]<br />
* [[Harambee Club]]<br />
* [[International Club]]<br />
* [[Knox Democrats]]<br />
* [[Knox Republicans]]<br />
* [[Korean Club]]<br />
* [[Lo Nuestro]]<br />
* [[Making Things]]<br />
* [[Model United Nations]]<br />
* [[Non-Traditional Students Club]]<br />
* [[SASS]] (Students Against Sexism in Society)<br />
* [[SHAG]] (Student Health Advocacy Group)<br />
<br />
===Literature and Media (excepting Publications)===<br />
* [[Caxton Club]]<br />
* [[Film Production Club]]<br />
* [[Off Knox]]<br />
* [[Quiver Club]]<br />
* [[Writers' Forum]]<br />
* [[Zine Club!]]<br />
<br />
===Performing Arts===<br />
* [[Chamber Singers]]<br />
* [[Galesburg Community Chorus]]<br />
* [[Jazz Combos]]<br />
* [[Knox College Choir]]<br />
* [[Knox Jazz Ensemble]]<br />
* [[Knox-Galesburg Symphony]]<br />
* [[Knox-Sandburg Community Band]]<br />
* [[Men's Ensemble]]<br />
* [[Sigma Alpha Iota]]<br />
* [[String Ensemble]]<br />
* [[Terpsichore Dance Collective]]<br />
* [[Wind Ensemble]]<br />
* [[Women's Chorale]]<br />
<br />
===Religion Clubs===<br />
* [[Fellowship of Christian Athletes]]<br />
* [[Hillel Club]]<br />
* [[Intervarsity Christian Fellowship]]<br />
* [[Islamic Club]]<br />
* [[Newman Club]]<br />
* [[Pagan Student Alliance]]<br />
<br />
===Recreation and Gaming Clubs===<br />
* [[Badminton Club]]<br />
* [[Ballroom Dance|Ballroom Dancing Club]]<br />
* [[Basketball]] (intramural sport)<br />
* [[Co-ed Water Polo]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Cycling Club]]<br />
* [[Dodgeball]] (intramural sport)<br />
* [[Fencing]] (club sport) <br />
* [[Gaming Information Network]]<br />
* [[Indoor Soccer]] (intramural sport)<br />
* [[Knox Dance Squad]]<br />
* [[Kolorworx]] (color guard club)<br />
* [[LARC]] (Live Action Role Playing Club)<br />
* [[Martial Arts Club]]<br />
* [[Men's Lacrosse]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Outdoor Recreation Club]]<br />
* [[Racquetball Club]]<br />
* [[Softball]] (intramural sport)<br />
* [[Ultimate Frisbee]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Volleyball]] (intramural sport)<br />
* [[Women's Lacrosse]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Women's Rugby]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Women's Water Polo]] (club sport)<br />
* [[Yoga Way]]<br />
<br />
==Transportation and Getting Out==<br />
This section deals with transportation to, in, and from [[Galesburg]], and other destinations in the area.<br />
<br />
===Getting In===<br />
Galesburg is located at the intersection of [[Interstate 74]] and [[Highway 34]]. To find Galesburg, on a transportation map, look for the bend in I-74 south of the [[Quad Cities]] – that's Galesburg. <br />
<br />
To get to Galesburg from [[I-80]], take I-80 to the Quad Cities, and then go east on I-74.<br />
<br />
For other driving directions, it might be easier to consult a map.<br />
<br />
The nearest airports of consequence to Galesburg are [[Greater Peoria Regional Airport]] (PIA) and [[Quad City International Airport]] (MLI). PIA only has feeder flights to [[Chicago]] [[O'Hare]], but MLI has flights to and from Chicago O'Hare, [[Denver]], [[Dallas-Fort Worth]], [[Atlanta]], [[Detroit]], [[Minneapolis-St. Paul]], [[Las Vegas]], and [[Orlando]]. Due to the higher cost of using these smaller airports, many students fly into Chicago O'Hare (ORD) or Chicago [[Midway]] (MDW) and get a ride or take the [[train]] into Galesburg. Knox offers a shuttle service to PIA and MLI, as well as [[Bradley University]], at the beginning and end of each [[term]]. A small fee is assessed. With prior reservation, you can also book a [[taxi]] ride for $50, if the shuttles do not fit your time needs.<br />
<br />
Galesburg is served by a number of trains, all run by [[Amtrak]]. The [[California Zephyr]] is a transcontinental train running from Chicago to [[San Francisco]] via Denver, with one train per day in each direction. Eastbound trains into Galesburg are late by several hours. The [[Southwest Chief]] is another transcontinental train running from Chicago to [[Los Angeles]] via [[Albuquerque]], and is usually on time. The [[Illinois Zephyr]] is daily service between Chicago and [[Quincy]], with an eastbound train in the morning and a westbound one in the evening. The [[Carl Sandburg (train)|Carl Sandburg]] follows the same route as the California Zephyr, with a westbound train in the morning and an eastbound one in the evening. These short-run trains are largely co-financed by Amtrak and the [[Illinois]] Department of Transportation. The train station is about four blocks from campus.<br />
<br />
===Travel within Galesburg===<br />
Accessing much of downtown is easy by foot, but for reaching the rest of town owning or borrowing a [[car]] or [[bicycle]] is necessary. There are three [[bus]] routes in Galesburg running on complicated loops once each hour, but only until around 6:00PM. The bus terminal is at [[Main Street|Main]] and [[Kellogg Street|Kellogg]] streets, and all three buses depart from there every hour on the hour. The fare is 60 cents. Few use the bus, but if time is not very important it is cheaper than calling a taxi. The schedules and routes can be found [http://www.ci.galesburg.il.us/transit/citybus.htm here].<br />
<br />
Galesburg taxis are sketchy.<br />
<br />
===Getting out of Galesburg===<br />
For those used to the bright lights and big city, Galesburg can feel a little oppressively Galesburg.<br />
<br />
The main destinations close to Galesburg are [[Peoria]] and the [[Quad Cities]], each about 45 minutes away by car on I-74. They offer more shopping and dining options. The nereast actual big cities are [[St. Louis]] and Chicago, each about three hours away by car. Chicago, as mentioned above, can also be reached by train. Within Chicago there is the [[CTA]] and the [[Metra]] for mass transit – Midway lies at the south end of the orange line, and O'Hare at the north end of the blue line on CTA. There are also all the well-known tourist attractions of Chicago. Sadly, it is not close enough to be a common destination, except on the way to the airport, unless you either live in Chicago or have a car.<br />
<br />
==Conclusion==<br />
The Wiki Fire community hopes that this Knox Survival Guide will help you get your bearings quickly and adapt to your new surroundings, bleak and agricultural though they may be. As you spend more time here, you will come to recognize the ineffable [[The Knox Experience|Knox culture]]: the flouncing dramas of the 1350 students, the quirky but lovable periodic incompetence of the [[administration]], the nuances of non-nuance that flow from [[Galesburg]]. If you love Knox, you will find the strangest reasons to love it more, and even if you hate Knox you'll come to have a grudging appreciation of its idiosyncrasies. Or you'll [[transfer]]. Either/or.<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
<references/></div>Tokesmcscrotes69http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Flunk_Day_2012&diff=22700Flunk Day 20122011-08-16T19:20:06Z<p>Tokesmcscrotes69: </p>
<hr />
<div>Closed due to flooding.<br />
<br />
Xavier was spotted at several different points this summer by several different anonymous sources. Hopping off a boxcar with several drifters, each holding one of his four-footer (or so) bongs, he was said to have torn his shirt off each time while roaring, "FLUUUUUUUNK!" Flunk day is definitely the first day of school.</div>Tokesmcscrotes69