Anti-Philosophy Club

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Anti-Philosophy Club is a system of clicks and beeps. It exists (and some years ceases to exist, only to rise again) as a club, and periodically gets real money from Student Senate. Mostly, APC exists as Knox's enema.

Grounation

APC was founded some time between 1997 and 1998 when splittists in the Philosophy Club decided that they were bored, and wanted a club with a freer flow of ideas, even if those ideas were irrelevant bullshit. Few records were kept of its foundation, so no one really knows who started it. Likely suspects are Keiran McCarthy -- currently a Law student at Duke University in Durham, NC -- and Ryan England -- ?. Both were Knox class of 2000.

Club activities have, from the beginning, tended less toward the strictly rational and discourse oriented, and more toward the visceral, irrational, and visionary ("drugs"). Not typical to western philosophical discourse, importance is often placed on physical interaction as a means to mental insight or inspiration.

Post-Bunkism

Post-Bunkism, a school of thought and discourse intimately bound up with the club's founding impetus, is made up. It posits two dialectically prior, hypothetical schools of discourse:

  1. Truthism: debaters attempt to present arguments that approach, or represent faithfully, the objective truth.
  2. Bunkism: debaters attempt to present arguments that dissemble and obfuscate the truth, "equivocate the greater argument as the lesser argument", or just outright lie, while seeming like a faithful representation of the truth.

Post-Bunkism assumes that arguments cannot refer to some discrete or objective truth, and thereby cannot obfuscate the truth to a greater or lesser degree. Post-Bunkism basically says "philosophical discourse is full of bunk, and as such, we're going to play Red Rover as a meaningful philosophical statement." Post-Bunkism, like Post-Modernism, is a term that no one understands, but that can be used all over the place to sound like you're right. In this way, claiming that such-and-such an argument "is supported by Post-Bunkism" can be seen as an Appeal to Authority.[1]

The two biggest Post-Bunkist theorists were Bill Bevis and Matt Frost and many post-bunkists have taken to using the term “Frostian economic construct” to describe the state that is most conducive to maximizing ones antithetical utility. This is in contrast to the more genial approach of Bevis who once proclaimed, “society is in direct opposition to mathematics” to explain what he described to be the “restrictive nature of bunkist discourse”.

The movement seems to be dividing into a Bevist camp and a Frostian camp mostly over the distinction between Bevis’ use of materialism to analyze capability and Frost’s contention that humanity is trapped in a neo-original paradigm. The two factions, however, seem to agree on lunch. It is no surprise that post-bunkism has found its way in to politics and it can be said that the movement rejects industrialism in favor of a more egalitarian theocracy. It should be noted that while Frostians promote the use of guerrilla warfare, Bevists have adopted the theory of “permanent election”.

Post-Bunkism also makes the controversial assertion that Nietzsche is dead.

Not surprisingly, most Anti-Philosophy Club members are also just irreverent Philosophy majors.

Club Rules

  1. Everyone must have a title. Make them up, whatever. An exception here is that the women have to have the title "Secretary".
  2. The objective of the club is to make big plans, talk about a lot of things, and then not actually do them. In this way, the APC is like every other club.
  3. There is no mission statement. This allows the club to be completely freeform. Once, during the '00-'01 year, Union Board threatened to cut the funding for the club if the club did not produce a mission statement. See the above statement concerning "clicks and beeps".
  4. Each year APC must have a t-shirt. If at all possible, though strictly forbidden by student senate's rule concerning legitimate usage of school funds, use Student Senate money to pay for them.

Debates

Knox has been, in the past, a crucible for great debaters. The first APC debates were held in Fall of '01 in the Morlock basement, later renamed The Roger Taylor Lounge. Later they could also be found in the basement of the Red House.

In a typical philosophical debate, the two debaters present arguments, and discuss those arguments ad nauseum. In an APC debate, the two debaters present arguments, then don boxing gloves, and box until one of them is right.

Possibly the most famous debate occured in Spring of '02, while club members were camping at Green Oaks. The influential Post-Bunkist theorist Matt Frost faced off against the original purchaser of the APC Debating Gloves, Walker Weyerhaeuser. Blind without his glasses and thus maintaining plausible deniability, Frost immediately struck Weyerhaeuser below the belt, twice in quick succession. Though the instant question whether North Carolina or Oklahoma was the superior state remained unsettled, the debate seems to have forced Weyerhaeuser into the Bevist camp on Post-Bunkist theoretical questions.

History

Throughout the club's history, activities have trended from the absurd to the mundane; actively pranking campus, to awkward discussions about how to dissolve the club, and then reform again in the next room so that we could ditch that one girl.

1999-2003

Often referred to as the Classical Period, notable yarns include:

  • Thanks to a loophole found in the Student Senate constitution concerning student referenda, the president of APC attempted an overthrow of Student Senate. Keiran would install himself as Emperor, other APC loyals as his ministers, and then completely abolish Student Senate. This plan was thwarted by an emergency, overnight meeting of the Deans.
  • The "Existential Angst Releasitorium" is planned as a catharsis carnival. Features would include a kiddie pool full of pudding, and a "box the Dean" boxing ring. Also proposed but never enacted: Anti-Flunk Day, where APC members would get drunk in the morning and go to someone else's classes all day.
  • The first APC Debates were held.
  • One of the members had a very sympathetic hamster, named God. God died while at Knox. The APC organized a public funeral for God, including posters stating "God is Dead. Now come to God's funeral!" After lying in state, God was presented for a viewing and wake at the Gizmo. Then, pall bearers, singing "There is a Balm in Gilead", transported God to a small plot on the South side of the caf. There, God was placed in a modest grave, with a pile of food for the afterlife, a libation, and pennies on her eyes. We'll miss you, God.
  • A formal budget is proposed, including funds for APC's first speaker, and a mechanical bull. Author, Radical, and former Highlander School[2] Trustee, Frank Adams was the APC's first guest speaker. Also, UB stole our idea for a mechanical bull, and rented one for Flunk Day. They are sneaky.

2003-2005

Often referred to as the Romantic Period:

  • APC used Student Senate funds to purchase both a gorilla costume, and a banana costume. The gorilla/banana dialectic makes an appearance at many college functions.
  • The Uncle Grandpa was established as the official drink of the APC.
  • A militant wing of the club made an effort to secure a B2 Bomber to facilitate their war on the campus chapter of D.A.R.E. Tragically, those funds were not approved by Student Senate. Luckily, by the end of the campaign, D.A.R.E. had no surviving members.
  • For the 2003-2004 school year, the APC had requested Senate funds to bring popular musician/400-pound homeless schizophrenic Wesley Willis to campus. Unfortunately, he died before they were able to bring him to campus. In the 2004-2005 school year, the APC requested Senate funds to bring popular comedian/drug-addled prophet Mitch Hedburg to campus. He too died prior to coming to campus. As such, the 2005-2006 budget contained a request for funds to bring Bush Advisor Karl Rove to campus. We're still waiting.
  • It was in this time period that a concerted effort was made to spread the tenets of post-bunkism resulting in a chapter of APC forming on the campus of Illinois Weslyan University.

Present Day

  • The APC became the most armed outfit on campus after using club funds to purchase two AK-47s, two megaphones, and a 2 million candlepower spotlight.
  • For the 2006-2007 budget year, the APC requested approximately a quarter million dollars ($250,000) in budget items, including the Gazebra and a fleet of Segways. Most of these requests were denied.
  • One night Winter Term, Anti-Philosophy Club filled the Sigma Chi house entirely with mustard in retaliation for their unapologetic hijacking of the Anything But Clothes party. Most agree that the Sigma Chi version of the party (and I quote) "is even lamer than Nate Pierce (editor's note: who the campus almost unanimously agrees is incredibly, edibly lame)."

Resources

References

  1. Appeal to Authority - an article on Wikipedia.
  2. Highlander Research and Educations Center - article on Wikipedia