Flunk Day 2011

Flunk Day 2011 was held on February 1, during the snowpocolypse. The real kicker was, no one noticed until noon, even the administration. The friars' were on the ball this year! hah

They're sending out the safety e-mail awfully late, aren't they? Perhaps they're going to pull another, send-it-out-Flunk-Day-is-the-next-day.

CONFIRMED: Safety lessons for the first years have been completed!

HEY CONGER AND NEAL! DIG THE FUCKING MUD PIT! kthanks bye (you did this wrong loser. it's kthanksbye with no space, jerk)< AMEN YES!!! How has flunk day season starting and no mud pit digging? MAKE ME A MUD PIT BITCHES!

Important Flunk Day Facts

It's time to remind everyone of important Flunk Day facts:

1) Seniors are full of lies, especially Ben Affleck

2) The Friars are don't know they're Friars until they're taken for Flunk Day. Any Senior is a potential Friar.

3) Oft repeated 'signs' of Flunk Day are nothing more than Red Herrings (mowing lawns, canceling classes, field trips, events, games). Unless these are events planned well in advance they are not considered by Flunk Day planners.

4) Your professors, supervisors, RAs, and other authority figures do not know when Flunk Day is.<---- Campus security found out the day of Flunk over spring break. Most of them work other jobs and must clear their schedules for the entire day of festivities [ie. alcoholism].

5) Don't rely on the forecast. Rain just helps in the making of the mud pit.

6) Seriously, don't trust seniors.

Flunk Day Planners

who are the known flunk day planners? What are their schedules? What are their habits?

• Britt Anderson: Lives in Tompkins, very near Jil Gates. Much potential for shady business. Often seen going running. Spends a lot of time in GDH.
• Martha Baumgarten: She is the TA of Advanced Comp T/Th from 10:40 to 11:50am. Lives off campus in the grey apartments across from the Quickie. Her roommate is Caroline Coatney. After Sam Martone did it, she started a twitter. Here's a link
• Jack Moore: One of the tallest kids on campus. Trainer. Can often be seen riding a 'gator' around campus. Also a member of GQ.
• Celestina Agyekum: She lives in the Admissions Suite in Four-Name and is choreographing for Terp this term.
• Rachel Hautzinger: NOT a Flunk Day planner but may have been one if she hadn't been abroad, so maybe they tell her stuff anyways.
• Roger Taylor '63: In a surprise "last-hurrah" move, Rog decided that he wanted to be a part of the planning this year. So far his ideas have been limited to gathering campus together to hear the speech on how he met his wife "just one last time!"
• Alex Steven Hall: He is the coordinator of kickin buttocks. He has 3 years of valuable experience in the butt kicking field. He has an overweight, but adorable cat name Mr. Bojangles. He's actually a she. It is rumored that Ms. Kitty Bojangles is the oracle that brings the good news of flunk day to Alex every year. Both his parents work at the school. Also, the first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C.

The Flunk Day Gift

...is Willy Wonka chocolate bars containing golden tickets!

There have been CONFIRMED sightings of these boxes of sugary delights being stored in the mailroom. Not the caf - THE MAIL ROOM.

Golden Ticket: Flunk Day, Admit One

rebecca black isn't funny anymore. the only people who find it funny are dickweeds <------- Your face is a dickweed <-----It's 420, let's smoke some dickweed.

Friars

Sam and Martha were in the gallery at dinner today claiming that the Senior who donates the most to save the Wiki Fire will automatically be a Friar. Shady or awesome?

Thursday, April 7

I have a paper due next Wednesday. Obviously, Flunk Day is tomorrow. I've seen a few alumni in town, tomorrow must be flunk day.

LUKAS SHAW SAID HE WAS GOING TO POOP IN THE MUD PIT!!!! IF YOU SEE HIM PUNCH HIM IN THE ARM!!!...in other news...flunk day is next thursday<-----LIES!

The Choreographer's Workshop show starts next Thursday and the week after that is the Dance Residency with Margi Cole and the COLEctive

Wednesday, April 13

CONFIRMED - mailroom is locked but there is movement in the mailboxes behind the doors!

CONFIRMED- admissions counselor Sarah Colangelo was told to call prospies and cancel tours tomorrow -->>it's admitted students day tomorrow -->>Dude, tomorrow is Thursday. Admitted students day is Friday. -->> NONE of the students in the admitted students suite have a list of students who are coming and they usually get it a week in advance ^false^ admissions suites are gonna have a crapton of prospies, and I sincerely doubt they would have flunk day on/around admitted students day

Chris Johnson made up a computer program to predict Flunk Day and it predicted either tomorrow or May 4 and he got into MIT's computer science program. -->> so? the safety e-mail isn't out yet -->> in past years the safety e-mail has come out the day of, Sam Martone tweeted about it. -->> That's legit regardless of when FD is.

It's going to be too cold. They won't do it yet. Jeez. Freshmen. -->> There were two record breaking highs this week. We're having the highest temperatures since the 1970's. Check the weather report.

MAILBOXES BEING STUFFED. REPEAT. MAILBOXES BEING STUFFED. *Wonders how many freshmen are running to the mailroom* --> Seriously, the planners were dumb last year and got video taped stuffing the boxes at 11:30. The planners this year wouldn't be dumb enough to stuff them at 10:00. Maybe they were figuring that no one would be paying attention since no email yet?

CONFIRMED- Kieth in dish room (reliable from previous years) says that Flunk Day will be tomorrow. Extra food was brought in on previous shipment. Related: extra candy was stocked during last C Store delivery. -->> they were selling new candy in the gizmo today (the gummy lifesaver things) too it must have come in from somewhere. Keith doesn't work here anymore.

Someone should check in town, hotels, wallmart, etc. for carnival equipment.

Someone has a camera on their phone. Go get a video or picture of stuffed mailboxes. -->> Can't doors are locked. --> The doors have windows in them, the mail boxes have windows in them. They got video last year. -->> I live in seymur I checked my mail at 8 p.m. and it was locked they'd be done by now

^ Do you live in Galesburg? We're at the intersection of 74, 34, and 150. Trucks pull off and park overnight ALL THE TIME. What's the sign on the truck say? Trucks alone mean nothing.

The seniors are at Senior bowling tonight. Someone check the lanes or at least make sure the shuttles actually bring them back.

Spotted: known planner Celestina is going to bed. Tomorrow is not Flunk Day!

Thursday, April 14

Willy Wonka bars were received at Knox on Wednesday April 13th. Also, there is NOTHING scheduled on the 14th. Flunk Day?

Willy Wonka is already drunk. Flunk Day is today. <--- You are my favorite.

The mud pit has gone from awkward lumpy grass to awkward lumpy dirt clumps. Conger/Neal has also summoned a TORNADO to aid in the mud pit digging process.

Monday, April 18

The safety email has gone out the morning of Flunk Day at-least on one occasion.

The safety email is officially sent out. Though not as humorous as previous emails sent out by Xavier, the meaning is the same: Flunk Day IS tomorrow.

Today and tomorrow are Passover and yesterday was the beginning of Holy Week leading up to Easter. We ain't gonna Flunk this week. -->Since when has Knox planned around religious events.

11:55am: Roger Taylor was just standing on cherry street across from the old jail and an unmarked SUV stopped and then sped away. Roger was no longer standing there. Clearly a secret flunk day rendezvous with willy wonka himself is taking place.

Tuesday, April 19

Safety email on Monday, Flunk Day has to be Tuesday!

10:48 PM, flashlights spotted in the mailroom. it better not be flunk day tomorrow. but seems like it is...--> Clearly, all sign are pointing towards tomorrow being flunk day

Just ran into Helmut in the restroom down the hall from founders. Depsite the funny accent, why is he here?

out at walmart. seems like we are not the only once to get booze. This could be HUGE!

12:27 AM it is confirmed. Flunk Day is tomorrow Helmut spotted AGAIN in the CAF.. IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW.... whoever had the idea: nice job but way early!

FLUNK DAY IS NOT KOSHER FOR PASSOVER.

Martha Baumgarten (Sr. Flunk Day Planner) seen drinking at Sigma Chi at 11:23PM, time for you to start too! (Confirmed)--> That would make it too obvious...

Wednesday, April 20

Flunk Day won't happen on 420 because that is the Cirque de Soleil trip and many people, who have paid money to go, will be disappointed. Also, Union Board puts on the Cirque Du Soleil trip. Wouldn't have happened if it was flunk day. --> Has anyone confirmed tickets were ACTUALLY purchased or has seen them in person?--> Thought the same thing, but it seems that collecting the $$$ for the "fake tickets," then returning the $$$ would be quite a hassle.

Don't let this stop you from celebrating though!

Thursday, April 21

Women's tennis meet with Dubuque canceled because they "couldn't come." Why couldn't they come and why did they just back out now? Suspicious.<-- The match was never listed on Dubuque's schedule, only on Knox's. Sketchy. <-- Messaged a girl on the Dubuque team. She said they were never scheduled to come to Galesburg.<--So it's obvious that the game was never scheduled for realz. Is this just a ploy, that was built into the schedule, to throw us off?

Again, Choreographer's Workshop opens that night. Not gonna happen this week <------does anyone know for a fact that the planners agreed to this?<---- They can't do it on a show day, because then all of the work the student's put together, on any show, it wasted. It'd be a bull shit move if it were on Thursday.<----I'm not saying it's fair but they have made "bullshit" moves before

Overheard Debbie Southern in the Rog Lodge: "I haven't written the email yet, I've got to get on that." What's the hurry Debbie?

Friar texts are out. Senior meeting is tonight. Coincidence?

~ Talked to THE SOURCE TODAY. Flunk Day is SOONER than expected. But later than some assumed.<--Please elaborate about who "The Source" is. ....>>>>Saw Helmut talking about it (How often can you say Flunk in a dialog if you arent talking about it) today in his language (austrian ? german ?) to another person. Girl behind me said she kept understanding "Tomorrow". -->> omg i did see that too! But ok just because u heard them talking it doesn't mean it's true.

HyVee catering van seen leaving Seymour loading dock around 1:30. > CONFIRMED (Would they be that stupid?)

Overheard certain seniors talking about receiving a friar txt on 4/20. Overheard other seniors being pissed about not getting friar txts. -> CONFIRMED

This is HUGE, Flunk day is Thursday!

>Flunk Day Shirts are in the Mail! Why distribute them already if it aint flunk day tomorrow?

Pasta Night on a Tuesday and Breakfast for Dinner on a Wednesday? Now they're just messing with us.

Friday, April 22

I really hope Flunk Day doesn't happen before this, because I need to get paid so I can buy alcohol.

Also, this likely means Flunk Day will happen before this day ("pay day"), because then too many students will be too broke to get drunk.

Wednesday, April 27

Zen Buddhist Sitting Meditation Practice(?). Also, the date of birth of Ulysses S. Grant, aka Lincoln's BFF. Flunk day is obviously April 27th. (This is by far the best reasoning I've ever heard for Flunk Day.)

Overhead in Gizmo on 4/19/2011: A Campus Safety office was overheard saying he was scheduled for eight extra hours on some unspecified day this week. EIGHT EXTRA FLUNK DAY HOURS???

Thursday, April 28

There will be golfers golfing on this day, but the planners don't seem to really care about golf too much.

Today, (april 14) Helmut said that he does not know the date of flunk day, and that they will only inform him of the date two weeks before. Therefore flunk day must be on or after april 28. It is possible that helmut was just messing with me.

Inside information from the sports information desk says that if a possible "date" were to be selected for flunk day, "I would bet all my money on April 28th"

Monday, May 2

THIS COULD BE HUGE. ... no. it is rarely on a monday. at least unlikely... <---- according to a stastical analysis of 20 Years of Flunk days Monday is 24% of Flunk Days It was a Monday last year.

May Faculty meeting rescheduled from the 2nd to the 9th! Faculty say a sketchy reason was given. <== Roger rescheduled the meeting, and he doesn't know when Flunk Day is. The faculty meeting is irrelevant.

Calendar is clear on this day.

According to Andy Civettini's analysis of Flunk Day data, Flunk Day has a 51% chance of occurring this week. <--- Who gave you this info, he won't even share it with the fucking class

Tuesday, May 3

Gale Scholars are being inducted this day so it is very very unlikely for flunk day to be tuesday. Nobody is going to mess with the Gale Scholars, they are in Jr. High. So unless it is a lie that the Gale Scholars are going to be there, no flunk day.

What, it's not like they've never seen someone shitfaced. And if they haven't, it's an important part of an education. Clearly the Flunk Day Planners are trying to throw us off the scent. May 3rd is Flunk Day!

Further, the Gale House is off-campus on North St. Well away from our muddy carnage. Martha's lies continue.

Wednesday, May 4

APO's Blood Drive is on this day. Last year's Spring drive was on Flunk Day, therefore it must be the 4th! -->> APO's blood drive was CANCELED and has to be re-scheduled! No reason was given!

The Dan Savage event is on this day. Why would Shag bring Dan Savage two years in a row? Someone said if events aren't sent into Student life before like March, they can't be considered to be saved from Flunk day. A. Is this true? B. When was this event scheduled? PLEASE RESPOND!!!! COULD BE HUGE!!! --> Yes, this is true, and I'm pretty sure they decided on bringing in Dan Savage waaaaay after the day for Flunk Day had been picked...-->> They sent out the survey to bring him over SPRING BREAK. How was his schedule free on such short notice?

They paid over $10,000 to bring him. Flunk Day is not May 4.

Thursday, May 5

since flunk day last year was so cold, the planners might plan it even later to ensure warmth. May 5th is always warm. IT'S SCIENCE.

A Cinco de Mayo Flunk Day? yeah right. YEAH! RIGHT?

El dia de flunk returns!!!!1

CINCO DE DRINK-O! There is nothing real on the calendar. Today is Flunk day.

There are a significant number of alums visiting on this day.

Wednesday, May 11

Exit the King opens on this day.

It must be Flunk Day.

There is also a Dinning Etiquette Class on this day, and Terrie Saline told me she didn't want it to happen then. -->> OH MAN NOT DINING ETIQUETTE!! -->> i would gladly trade a lifetime of dining etiquette perfection for one flunk day. o the power and the glory.

Flunk Day email, wherefore art thou?

^wherefore=why, wherefore != where. Stop making our college look dumb. (I would be more concerned with people making our college look like pretentious fucks who over react when someone gets the meaning of "wherefore" wrong. My god, what is wrong with you?) Union Board has already signed up for shifts, in past years this has happened only hours or days before flunk day. The TKS Flunk Day issue has been reportedly moved from its original resting place. Flunk day Friars are only allowed to enter their names on golden tickets until today. Hypothesis: the flunk day email will go out this Tuesday, therefore Wednesday April 20th, will be flunk day to throw everyone off. This is why the flunk day email hasn't gone out yet, they're waiting until just before the real day comes along.

Liz, do you really think a 420 Flunk Day will actually happen? Also, you're a senior. Can we trust you?

Flunk Day won't happen on 420 because that is the Cirque de Soleil trip and many people, who have paid money to go, will be disappointed. Also, Union Board puts on the Cirque Du Soleil trip. Wouldn't have happened if it was flunk day. --> Has anyone confirmed tickets were ACTUALLY purchased?

Flunk Day T-Shirts

This is an odd thing this year. Would the planners really be stupid enough to wait to distribute the t-shirts until the day of? I doubt.<--I heard purchased shirts will be stuffed in one's mailbox.

So, I think that as long as the shirts are out of our hands, so is El Dia de Flunk.

Mud Pit

The Mud Pit was helped along by maintenance 4/19/11 at around 10am, clearly tomorrow is Flunk Day....

But they put SAND in it. They're trying to fill it in so the rain doesn't help it along.--> Don't fret, the mud pit will be in full glory come flunk day.