Flunk Day 2015

Considering the "Final Flunk" is already years passed, will there even be a Flunk Day this year? Is it always going to be on a Monday? Will Professor Umbridge (The Deans Southern) finally and forever kill fun? Will Students For Flunk Day Truth actually "battle against the academic gluttony of the East Coast Ivory Tower Intellectual Liberal Elitists" and once and for all convince the Knox community that Flunk Day is not, in fact, real? Most importantly, what we must ask ourselves at such times is, "Should I grab my bong and Pabst Blue Ribbon now and squeeze and extra 12 hours out of this Flunk Day or wait for the email?" For answers, we look to history: Flunk Day 2014, Flunk Day 2013, and so on. As for tangible, informed sources, we know that only the true harbinger of Flunk is that revered pastoral scene of Xavier Romano and Roger Taylor riding Ol' Smokie (their unicorn) and puffing on their 6-footer. Until such a time comes: Flunk on, brave Flunkers, Flunk on.

June 18, 2014

Galesburg zoned for marijuana growing operations, THIS COULD BE HUGE.[1]

October 12th, 2014

3:32 PM STUDENT CAF WORKER INSIDER INFORMATION: Multiple beer kegs seen inside the loading area for the cafeteria. Could be for homecoming, OR HOMECOMING COULD BE A COVER. Helmut's stockin' up.

November 2nd, 2014

1:02 PM First signs of Hamgenda appear on campus. Several students receive ham in their omelettes when they asked for bacon. From this point on the Hamgenda's presence can only increase.

1:12 PM Students create first anti-Hamgenda party.

November 10th, 2014

Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars released. Uptown Funk? Uptown FLUNK. THIS IS HUUUUGGGEEEEE!!!

January 1st, 2015

Decoding the numbers from 2015 into letters 2-B 0- nothing 1-A 5-E

2015 WILL BE THE YEAR OF BAE Flunk day will be the flunk of bae

March 5th, 2015

WILD WILD FLUNK shirts being sold in Seymour while Donor Days sunglasses handed out, for FREE. This could bE HUGE.

March 7th, 2015

Helmut claims the dishwasher is broken, different brands of paper plates and plastic cups being used in the caf. Is the dishwasher really broken? Or are the cafeteria workers testing paper plate brands for FLunk Day?? Seems the dishwasher broke around the same time last year..hmm this cOULD BE hUGE!

Friday, March 20

Union Board announces that the "Flunk Day Pep Rally," at which the Flunk Day theme will be announced and seniors may sign up to be Friars, will be on Wednesday, March 25. Students contemplate whether to show up for this event drunk, high, or drunk and high.

Wednesday, March 25

Maybe Teresa will announce that the Pep Rally IS AND WILL COUNT AS Flunk Day this year. Wouldn't that be exciting?

"After the Pep Rally, let's all gather together in the Quads as a community and start digging the mud pit." - Roger Taylor

Tuesday, FB, Matt Sugai: "Flunk Day is tomorrow. Pass it on." <--- 35 likes <--- alumni confirmation from Nick Price and Jamie Ruml. <--- Andrew Cook: "has there been any wikifire activity yet?"

Diana Marutyan is a secret Flunk Day planner <--- CONFIRMED! <----NO IM NOT. LEAVE ME BE.

Union Board: Theme is Jurassic Flunk. Matt Sugai: Theme is Uptown Flunk. WHO TO BELIEVE???? #TeachtheControversy

Kyle Hall: "I was considering putting as the subject for the email for the show tonight 'FLUNK DAY THEME REVEALED.' Then they'd open it and it'd be like, 'The Flunk Day theme is punk. Come to the show.'" <--- Kyle Hall is a secret Flunk Day planner? #FlunxNotDead

Friday, March 27

Coltan Parker confirmed Flunk Day planner!!

Wednesday, April 1

Cafeteria menus on My.Knox resort to gibberish. No meals tomorrow? FLUNK DAY.

Monday, April 20

Flunk Day recently has been on a lot of Mondays, and maybe the administration hopes to kill two birds with one stone by forcing Knox students to consolidate two of their most important holidays. If there is anything we know to be true, it is that having a Flunk Day on 4/20 would be like having your birthday on Christmas, only worse.

Thursday, April 23

William Shakespeare and Clint Davis celebrate their respective birthdays (420 years apart) today.

Thursday, April 30

On March 12, John Schlaf announced that he will retire on April 30th. The advanced notice of his retire in the middle of the term seems suspicious...

Friday, May 1

John Schlaf probably decided to retire the day before so that he wouldn't have responsibility for FRIDAY FLUNK DAY!!!