Flunk Day 2008

Flunk Day 2008 is tomorrow.

Rumors & Scares

Monday, Apr 21

Rumors point to Monday as a good candidate date. This is corroborated by the fact that the 21st is now tomorrow, and everyone knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow.

However, one has to wonder whether the administration is really going to put flunk day right after 4/20.

Still, it might be worth it to throw off Ashcroft protests.

Tuesday, Apr 22

This date is likely for two reasons: first, the fact that it's Earth Day and the administration might want to disrupt festivities so that independently organized club events don't make the college's half-assed official sustainability efforts look bad.

Second, the John-Ashcroft-is-a Hoax theory states that actually John Ashcroft was never coming at all, and that it was simply a massive hoax to throw people off the track of Flunk Day. Then again, they totally wouldn't have advertised it to the public on the website. But it would certainly explain why no senate funds were used to bring him and why such a big name came to Knox.

Wednesday, Apr 23

Flunk Day was not on Wednesday however the best Flunk Day Scare ever happened. At 4:30AM over forty seniors gathered in all black at old Sigma Nu. The group couldn't wait till 5:45 to begin because most of them had been drinking all night. So at 4:50 a group picture was taken (will be on the next senior meeting flyer). At 5:00 the group was off towards Post and the Quads. Most of the seniors doing the scare decided that if it was really Flunk Day no one would come out. However, one suite in the quads was so convinced that they got in their swim suits and started drinking. A few min later security came. The event ended near the apartments after waking Jenny Davis up.

Pretty much everyone thinks it's Wednesday. It would be a good way to work off stress from john Ashcroft, and the weather prognosis is the best this week. But flunk day was probably planned long before weather reports came out.

Roger Taylor canceled a meeting with a student for "no reason." When she asked to reschedule to Thursday, he said, "I don't think that's a good idea."

A student was observed on the bench in the mailroom stuffing flyers that said "It's Flunk Day 2008!" on them into a manila envelope. I couldn't see a date, but what are the odds they do that way in advance?

Meryl Leventen, Alex Clark, and Jenn Snider were seen at Walmart between 11:30 PM - 12:00 AM. They were not buying anything. Rumor has it that they were checking up on orders for Wednesday. How this rumor started, nobody knows.

A cashier at Hy-Vee on Main St. told a Knox student that there was a large food order scheduled to be shipped out at an unknown date within April. When further questioned, he said to ask a Becca, a "red-haired girl who lives in Town House-B and frequents Beta", because she knows the exact date of this food order. However, there is no girl named Becca in Town House-B.

Thursday, Apr 24

Nick Kalmus thinks so. I heard they have a special order of a large quantity of food coming in Wednesday night.

Rumor also has it that a professor was warned off of having a field trip on thursday.

Also, Lucky Boys Confusion is coming on thursday. A band on a thursday is a bit weird, right? (Actually coming Thursday May 1st)

Although, The TRIO achievement program spring banquet is Thursday, Apr 24 evening. TRIO is part of the student development staff and on flunk day, the TRIO staff works the water station, tell people with booze to get rid of it, etc. I would imagine TRIO has booked this date and requested flunk day not to be Thurs Apr 21.

Friday, Apr 25

Well, it's never been on a friday yet...

Monday, Apr 28

Xavier Romano's coy little wink in the official Flunk Day e-mail indicated that we may be on the verge of experiencing a Monday Flunk Day (because we know a Friday Flunk Day could very well send half of campus to the ER), but it's unlikely to be the 28th. An acrobatics troupe will be on campus all week, and an historian is giving a lecture to the public on Tuesday, Apr 29th.

Wednesday, May 6

Some people are banking on this to be the day, if the weather is nice enough. Hopefully it won't be the week of April 28-May2, because it is supposed to be cold and rainy.

Xavier Romano's Coy Little Wink

XR's wink may just be a red herring, intended to make freshmen susceptible to all sorts of ludicrous Flunk Day scares. Possibly this is a genius move of strategery. The first-years could experience so many convincing scares that by the time Flunk Day actually happens, they won't believe it, and don't start drinking until the sun rises, reducing the number of injuries caused by sleepy, drunken pratfalls in the dark.

In order to combat this heinous grievance against the inebriation of first-years, every Knox student should begin each day with a shot of liquor, just in case.