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| − | [[Image:marnieshure.jpg|right|thumb|Marnie, in one of her many fashionable hats.]]'''Marnie Catherine Shure''' (February 10, 1989 - present) is a [[Creative Writing]] darling at [[Knox College]]. She is well known for her pithy witticisms, her image-driven [[poetry]], and her charitable donations of candy to needy moochers.
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| − | ==Family and early life==
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| − | The facts of Marnie Shure's family and early life are shrouded in mystery and legend. Most sources indicate that she is descended from a line of Amazonian warrior women, displaced during their numerous polemic catastrophes to the greater [[Chicago]]land area. Her mother, searching for a husband with nothing but several leopard skins to her name, eventually stumbled upon a broody [[Bruce Springsteen]] fanatic, and they were quickly married. Marnie was their second child. While the [[rumors]] of Marnie the infant eating her older sister are largely unsubstantiated, photographic evidence suggests that Marnie, at 12 months, could have easily [[physically dominated]] a child as old as nine.
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| − | [[Image:MonsterBaby.jpg|left|thumb|L'enfant Terrible]]
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| − | ==The "Friendliest [[High School]] in the Nation"==
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| − | Marnie harbored fond memories of her beloved alma mater, Lyons Township High School. She made several friends in the [[theater]] department, and served as a drummer in the school's marching band. Both required extensive knowledge of kissing games, which she would call upon in her later years to orchestrate a fun time for all.
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| − | ==Knox: The Final Frontier==
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| − | Marnie arrived at Knox College in 2007, taking up residence in [[Campbell]] 4 with all the rigor and militarism to be expected from an Amazonian/"The River" interbreed. There, she became acquainted with current bestie, [[Mary Reindl]], and arch-nemesis, [[Rachel Perez]]. Through a complicated system of alliances, forged via Play-Doh penises, suicide documentaries, and [[Fall Out Boy]], Marnie quickly rose to power in her freshman year.
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| − | [[Category:Students]]
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| − | [[Category:Class of 2011]]
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