Flunk Day 2011

FLUNK DAY HAS BEEN CONFIRMED. BITCHES.

Flunk Day 2011 was held on February 1, during the snowpocolypse. The real kicker was, no one noticed until noon, even the administration. The friars' were on the ball this year! hah

They're sending out the safety e-mail awfully late, aren't they? Perhaps they're going to pull another, send-it-out-Flunk-Day-is-the-next-day.

CONFIRMED: Safety lessons for the first years have been completed!

How is flunk day season starting with no mud pit digging? Seriously, buy a shovel, use your hands, steal spoons from the caf... Get it together, kids. essential: get yo walmart soil and water buckets ready!

Important Flunk Day Facts

It's time to remind everyone of important Flunk Day facts:

1) Seniors are full of lies, especially Bob Saget

2) The Friars are don't know they're Friars until they're taken for Flunk Day. Any Senior is a potential Friar.

3) Oft repeated 'signs' of Flunk Day are nothing more than Red Herrings (mowing lawns, canceling classes, field trips, events, games). Unless these are events planned well in advance they are not considered by Flunk Day planners.

4) Your professors, supervisors, RAs, and other authority figures do not know when Flunk Day is.<---- Campus security found out the day of Flunk over spring break. Most of them work other jobs and must clear their schedules for the entire day of festivities [ie. alcoholism].

5) Don't rely on the forecast. Rain just helps in the making of the mud pit.

6) Seriously, don't trust seniors.

7) Trust no one.

8) Question everything.

9) Flunk day is always tomorrow.

Flunk Day Planers

who are the known flunk day Planers? What are their schedules? What are their habits?

• Britt Anderson: Lives in Tompkins, very near Jil Gates. Much potential for shady business. Often seen going running. Spends a lot of time in GDH and in Martha.
• Martha Baumgarten: She is the TA of Advanced Comp T/Th from 10:40 to 11:50am. Lives off campus in the grey apartments across from the Quickie. Her roommate is Caroline Coatney. After Sam Martone did it, she started a twitter. Here's a link
• Jack Moore: One of the tallest kids on campus. Trainer. Can often be seen riding a 'gator' around campus. Also a member of GQ.
• Celestina Agyekum: She lives in the Admissions Suite in Four-Name and is choreographing for Terp this term.
• Rachel Hautzinger: NOT a Flunk Day Planerbut may have been one if she hadn't been abroad, so maybe they tell her stuff anyways.
• Roger Taylor '63: In a surprise "last-hurrah" move, Rog decided that he wanted to be a part of the planning this year. So far his ideas have been limited to gathering campus together to hear the speech on how he met his wife "just one last time!" Roger isn't going to work here after next year so you know hes gettin tanked and gunna grind up on every piece of pussy he can find. Look for him passed out on Old Main lawn half naked covered in permanent marker penises.
• Alex Steven Hall: He is the coordinator of kickin buttocks. He has 3 years of valuable experience in the butt kicking field. He has an overweight, but adorable cat name Mr. Bojangles. He's actually a she. It is rumored that Ms. Kitty Bojangles is the oracle that brings the good news of flunk day to Alex every year. Both his parents work at the school.

The Flunk Day Gift

...is Willy Wonka chocolate bars containing golden tickets!

There have been CONFIRMED sightings of these boxes of sugary delights being stored in the mailroom. Not the caf - THE MAIL ROOM.

Golden Ticket: Flunk Day, Admit One

rebecca black isn't funny anymore. the only people who find it funny are dickweeds <------- Your face is a dickweed <-----It's 420, let's smoke some dickweed. <----- Let's dick some weed.

Friars

Sam and Martha were in the gallery at dinner today claiming that the Senior who donates the most to save the Wiki Fire will automatically be a Friar. Shady or awesome?

Fun Friar Facts:

1) Friars come out BEFORE the e-mail. And normally not just a little before, anywhere up to 20 minutes before, in the age of Xavier, the dean of flunk, you would have to wait and be uncertain.

2) Seniors are Friars, sounds like a no-brainer, but some folks seem confused still

3) Once they take seniors, they take their phones, no communicating. Which means if you cant get a hold of a bunch of seniors sometime around 1 or 2...it MIGHT be flunk day.

4) Friars are loud...very loud...if you've heard a scare you are beginning to get what to expect.

5) Friars tend to be drunk and as such have a short life expectancy, if you miss your time on the flunk day friar express, be very sad

Who are the Friars this year? So we know who to watch

Thursday, April 7

I have a paper due next Wednesday. Obviously, Flunk Day is tomorrow. I've seen a few alumni in town, tomorrow must be flunk day.

LUKAS SHAW SAID HE WAS GOING TO POOP IN THE MUD PIT!!!! IF YOU SEE HIM PUNCH HIM IN THE ARM!!!...in other news...flunk day is next thursday<-----LIES!

The Choreographer's Workshop show starts next Thursday and the week after that is the Dance Residency with Margi Cole and the COLEctive

Wednesday, April 13

CONFIRMED - mailroom is locked but there is movement in the mailboxes behind the doors!

CONFIRMED- admissions counselor Sarah Colangelo was told to call prospies and cancel tours tomorrow -->>it's admitted students day tomorrow -->>Dude, tomorrow is Thursday. Admitted students day is Friday. -->> NONE of the students in the admitted students suite have a list of students who are coming and they usually get it a week in advance ^false^ admissions suites are gonna have a crapton of prospies, and I sincerely doubt they would have flunk day on/around admitted students day

Chris Johnson made up a computer program to predict Flunk Day and it predicted either tomorrow or May 4 and he got into MIT's computer science program. -->> so? the safety e-mail isn't out yet -->> in past years the safety e-mail has come out the day of, Sam Martone tweeted about it. -->> That's legit regardless of when FD is.

It's going to be too cold. They won't do it yet. Jeez. Freshmen. -->> There were two record breaking highs this week. We're having the highest temperatures since the 1970's. Check the weather report.

MAILBOXES BEING STUFFED. REPEAT. MAILBOXES BEING STUFFED. *Wonders how many freshmen are running to the mailroom* --> Seriously, the planners were dumb last year and got video taped stuffing the boxes at 11:30. The planners this year wouldn't be dumb enough to stuff them at 10:00. Maybe they were figuring that no one would be paying attention since no email yet?

CONFIRMED- Kieth in dish room (reliable from previous years) says that Flunk Day will be tomorrow. Extra food was brought in on previous shipment. Related: extra candy was stocked during last C Store delivery. -->> they were selling new candy in the gizmo today (the gummy lifesaver things) too it must have come in from somewhere. Keith doesn't work here anymore.

Someone should check in town, hotels, wallmart, etc. for carnival equipment.

Someone has a camera on their phone. Go get a video or picture of stuffed mailboxes. -->> Can't doors are locked. --> The doors have windows in them, the mail boxes have windows in them. They got video last year. -->> I live in seymur I checked my mail at 8 p.m. and it was locked they'd be done by now

^ Do you live in Galesburg? We're at the intersection of 74, 34, and 150. Trucks pull off and park overnight ALL THE TIME. What's the sign on the truck say? Trucks alone mean nothing.

The seniors are at Senior bowling tonight. Someone check the lanes or at least make sure the shuttles actually bring them back.

Spotted: known planner Celestina is going to bed. Tomorrow is not Flunk Day!

Thursday, April 14

Willy Wonka bars were received at Knox on Wednesday April 13th. Also, there is NOTHING scheduled on the 14th. Flunk Day?

Willy Wonka is already drunk. Flunk Day is today. <--- You are my favorite.

The mud pit has gone from awkward lumpy grass to awkward lumpy dirt clumps. Conger/Neal has also summoned a TORNADO to aid in the mud pit digging process.

Monday, April 18

The safety email has gone out the morning of Flunk Day at-least on one occasion.

The safety email is officially sent out. Though not as humorous as previous emails sent out by Xavier, the meaning is the same: Flunk Day IS tomorrow.

Today and tomorrow are Passover and yesterday was the beginning of Holy Week leading up to Easter. We ain't gonna Flunk this week. -->Since when has Knox planned around religious events.

11:55am: Roger Taylor was just standing on cherry street across from the old jail and an unmarked SUV stopped and then sped away. Roger was no longer standing there. Clearly a secret flunk day rendezvous with willy wonka himself is taking place.

Tuesday, April 19

Safety email on Monday, Flunk Day has to be Tuesday!

10:48 PM, flashlights spotted in the mailroom. it better not be flunk day tomorrow. but seems like it is...--> Clearly, all sign are pointing towards tomorrow being flunk day

Just ran into Helmut in the restroom down the hall from founders. Depsite the funny accent, why is he here?

out at walmart. seems like we are not the only once to get booze. This could be HUGE!

12:27 AM it is confirmed. Flunk Day is tomorrow Helmut spotted AGAIN in the CAF.. IT IS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW.... whoever had the idea: nice job but way early!

FLUNK DAY IS NOT KOSHER FOR PASSOVER.

Martha Baumgarten (Sr. Flunk Day Planner) seen drinking at Sigma Chi at 11:23PM, time for you to start too! (Confirmed)--> That would make it too obvious...

All of these artciles have saved me a lot of headaches.

Thursday, April 21

Women's tennis meet with Dubuque canceled because they "couldn't come." Why couldn't they come and why did they just back out now? Suspicious.<-- The match was never listed on Dubuque's schedule, only on Knox's. Sketchy. <-- Messaged a girl on the Dubuque team. She said they were never scheduled to come to Galesburg.<--So it's obvious that the game was never scheduled for realz. Is this just a ploy, that was built into the schedule, to throw us off?

Again, Choreographer's Workshop opens that night. Not gonna happen this week <------does anyone know for a fact that the planners agreed to this?<---- They can't do it on a show day, because then all of the work the student's put together, on any show, it wasted. It'd be a bull shit move if it were on Thursday.<----I'm not saying it's fair but they have made "bullshit" moves before

Overheard Debbie Southern in the Rog Lodge: "I haven't written the email yet, I've got to get on that." What's the hurry Debbie?

Friar texts are out. Senior meeting is tonight. Coincidence?

~ Talked to THE SOURCE TODAY. Flunk Day is SOONER than expected. But later than some assumed.<--Please elaborate about who "The Source" is. ....>>>>Saw Helmut talking about it (How often can you say Flunk in a dialog if you arent talking about it) today in his language (austrian ? german ?) to another person. Girl behind me said she kept understanding "Tomorrow". -->> omg i did see that too! But ok just because u heard them talking it doesn't mean it's true.

HyVee catering van seen leaving Seymour loading dock around 1:30. > CONFIRMED (Would they be that stupid?) -->> Pi Phi's had their Founder's Day Dinner, which is a catered event and could account for this. -->> At 1:30 am?? Smells like Flunk Day. <-- This was posted this afternoon, referring to 1:30 PM.

Overheard certain seniors talking about receiving a friar txt on 4/20. Overheard other seniors being pissed about not getting friar txts. -> CONFIRMED

This is HUGE, Flunk day is Thursday!

>Flunk Day Shirts are in the Mail! Why distribute them already if it aint flunk day tomorrow?

Pasta Night on a Tuesday and Breakfast for Dinner on a Wednesday? Now they're just messing with us.

Unconfirmed reports of Seniors disappearing from Cirque trip. Friars?<-- Cirque just got out. Too fascinating a show to be bothered with texting people back. Try again in 5 minutes.

Has there been mudpit activity? Peeps better get on it; Flunk day def. tomorrow. Heard seniors are loading up on pallets of Key Stone, etc. <---Pallets?! Do you know much "Key Stone" is in a pallet?

OVERHEARD IN CAFE, a bunch of basketball players asked if JACK MOORE was going to senior night, he responded "no, too much work to do", both the senior planners are on the trip to Cirque Du Soliel, and the other junior planner doesn't drink... THIS IS HUGE!!! This is awesome!

THURSDAY'S PERFORMANCE OF CONNECTIVE TISSUE CANCELLED DUE TO "DAMAGED EQUIPMENT IN STUDIO THEATER." <---FALSE<--- Two of the dancers of connective tissue think velociRUPtors are more likely to eat you than the canceling of Connective Tissue <---- Production Manager of Connective Tissue says you're full of shit. Both dress rehearsals ran smoothly, gels are fine, lights are fine, dancers are fine. Suck it.

Anyone who has read the past years' Flunk Day pages knows the picture that was just posted is complete BS. Thinking tomorrow isn't FD and everyone is getting worked up.

I tasted the earth near the mud pit and the result was salty. This foretells the imminent trampling of the ground by many muddy feet. FLUNK DAY!

zomg zomg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMF0E-wU0Us THIS IS HUGE<--Clearly video from last year.

11:30PM- JACK MOORE WALKING TOWARDS THE QUICKIE WEARING A BLACK HOODIE trying to cover his face, I thought he said he had to get work done. SOMEONE BUM RUSH HIM AND SEE WHAT HE's UP TOO!!!!

11:14 pm - Helmut seen leaving the caf.Image:P1040096.JPG This is the same picture from last year!!!!!! <- no it isn't <- confirmed <- At least save and upload a new copy of the photo so its not time stamped when you click on it. <- confirmed <- NOT CONFIRMED should have done a better job with copying the picture from the 2009 FLUNK DAY - It clearly was removed by the user in the 2009 post and reloaded in the 2011 post.

Flunk Day shirts seen in mail boxes. <== CONFIRMED

Just got a mysterious phone call, caller id said "unknown number". Tomorrow is flunk day.

Someone just screamed in the vicinity of Seymour/Post Lawn. Flunk Day or midterms? You decide.

Empty fifth of Captain in the stall of the men's room by the Rog Lodge. The Flunk Gods have given their sign.

Scratched My ass...Flunk is Tomorrow!

Today is the TRIO trip to Chicago, it's been on the schedule since forever i.e. way before fall term so today is NOT Flunk Day!<- Flunk Day doesn't give a shit about TRIO. FLUNK DAYYYYY!!!!

Definitely el dia de flunk my friends!

- Cab driver said it was going to be a "big day". Does Knox make sure cabs know when to drive drunk students?

- 'Goldenticket' is trending on Twitter. ITS FLUNK DAY BITCHES

It's 4:57. No email. Still desperately holding out hope, but the friars pretty much would have had the whole place in an uproar by now if it were Flunk Day. Sad daaaaaay. Is there not even going to be a scare?! I'm gonna be pretty pissed if there isn't a scare, at least. <<there is your scare. do you hear them? they are very loud. 5:23. Last year the email wasn't out til 6, anyway. <---SCORE!! Thanks for pulling through scarers and/or Flunkers. :D Email? Email?!! Email now?! If it's just a scare, it's a really good one.

Persistent scare...

Just called campus safety: not flunk day.

confirmed. time to go to bed.

So scares are starting, flunk day is coming!

So, Anna Meier is interviewing Martha and Britt right now in the Gizmo. FLUNK DAY is being talked about... potential interview for the TKS. Potentially not... potentially dropping hints. Flunk Day will most certainly be next week, judging by their body language and facial expressions. Nervousness seems to be peaking.

Friday, April 22

I really hope Flunk Day doesn't happen before this, because I need to get paid so I can buy alcohol.

Also, this likely means Flunk Day will happen before this day ("pay day"), because then too many students will be too broke to get drunk.

JACK MOORE seen in the Gizmo rushing to get "WORK" done!... UB planners seen buying alcohol at WalMart. Coincidence...I think not. EL DIA DE FLUNK BITCHES!!!<-- Glad to see you've got time travel worked out.<-- Time travel = El Dia de Flunk?? :O

Flunk Day is never on a Friday. We will have to wait until next week.

Birds heard chirping from Neifert House around 2 am. This means that Flunk day can't happen today or over the next 5 weekdays.

Monday, April 25

Softball with MacMurray College CANCELED.

Today, Saturday the 23rd, overheard Britt Anderson talking about the stress of Flunk Day planning and how she hoped everything goes well.... seems to be really on her mind this week!

Overheard Debbie Southern talking to Heather Poppy about how she "hopes that no one gets hurt in that mud pit". They sounded as though they were concerned with the near future.

Trudy the caf worker was complaining about storing the big food order that just came in because it makes it hard to order the regular stuff for the week. <--- Eddie, who orders all the food, got the flunk day menu last Wednesday. Flunk soon?

Upper post resident spotted eating calendar. <--CONFIRMED!

Gizmo worker spotted random old man, why would he be here on a Easter Sunday night and lingering around the Gizmo ordering weird things while looking out of the window??<-----Prolly a crackhead got ahold the wrong stuff <----- Not a crackhead, he was surveying the lawns and looking at his watch. Coincidence? I think not! ---> AND then he sat in founders at one of the computers??!? Killing TIME PERHAPS??? <---------Knew the old man was not involved in Flunk Day!!! How is one old man eating grilled cheese with pickles connected to Flunk Day????

10:45 PM - Activity in the mail room! Tomorrow IS Flunk Day!

11:40ish PM Trashbags over mailroom door windows <--- Evidence, please? <--- Go to the mailroom and see for yourself. lazy. <--- Trash bags have been removed, but left carelessly on the bench. THIS COULD BE HUGE.

Flunk Day does not exist. <---- CONFIRMED

Prospies are on campus and they are not robots. Flunk Day is not today. <--- how do you know they aren't robots <-- there were prospies on campus during last years Flunk day. They had their purple folders and everything.

Now Softball with Lakeforest College got CANCELED too <-- Considering it's supposed to POUR RAIN all day tomorrow, I'm not surprised.

Garbage bags were on Mail Room Windows and are now taken down, <---- CONFIRMED Sam Martone overheard in Gizmo, no Friar-texts as of 11 p.m.

Ben Reeves, official Flunk Day prediction for April 25, 60%. Paul C. Flunk Day algorithm returns tomorrow as a possible Flunk Day. May 2 most probable, however.

11:40 PM Video proof of mailroom activity http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ ---> I got *actual* footage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0 <---NOT FUNNY -_-

Celestina, FLUNK DAY PLANNER, was not at Terp rehearsal tonight(9-10:30 pm, & her whereabouts were unknown....plus, Sam Martone looked super sketchy as he dashed away from the Rodge Lodge around midnight.... hmmm

---> who?

Gabe Paz cancelled his radio show... LOL?--->he can't keep a secret, he's been dropping hints for a while...

OFWGFLUNKDAY

3:30 AM is weather really a factor for Flunk Day?

Knox Staff seen wandering outside Post Hall at 4:31 AM. Do they always get here this early?

You keep it up now, unedsrtand? Really good to know.

Wednesday, April 27

Craig Southern was notably absent from RA training. Walked in during the last ten minutes with a brand new haircut. Getting ready for flunk day photo ops? <---Confirmed. He was working too much anyways.

Jill Gates rushed the end of RA training to be done by nine... does she want to go to bed early? Maybe she has a date?

While lurking in the Old Main vents, I hovered above the women's bathroom and heard a female voice resembling Debbie Southern in between taco-in-a-bag grunts saying she's tired of dealing with (and i quote) "Flunk day shit" and that she's not looking forward to Wednesday <----- confirmed, my girlfriend claims she was in the stall next to her

PROFESSORS DO NOT KNOW WHEN FLUNK DAY IS UNTIL THE DAY OF. Let's remember that, folks.<--- That's a lie. A lot of them find out through the grapevine. <---I heard it through the grapevine / Not much longer would you be mine. / Oh I heard it through the grapevine, / Oh and I'm just about to lose my mind. / Honey, honey yeah.

Zen Buddhist Sitting Meditation Practice(?). Also, the date of birth of Ulysses S. Grant, aka Lincoln's BFF. Flunk day is obviously April 27th. (This is by far the best reasoning I've ever heard for Flunk Day.)

Overhead in Gizmo on 4/19/2011: A Campus Safety office was overheard saying he was scheduled for eight extra hours on some unspecified day this week. EIGHT EXTRA FLUNK DAY HOURS???

Cleaning lady talked about two professors canceling classes for this day and that the cafeteria almost had all the flunk day food. Knox Cleaning staff got the inside scoop.<-----This is confirmed!

Jil Gates is MYSTERIOUSLY UNAVAILABLE to meet any time today. Come on. COME ON.<---This is confirmed. She's refusing to meet until Friday.

Kathleen Drake also "unavailable" until Thursday. She wanted to meet with a student this week but would only meet Thursday or Friday. Fishy, fishy... <-- THIS IS HUGE!!!

Random sports event canceled by another college. When students at said college are asked why, they reply that "[sports event] never was planned."

Professor Polite doesn't have a film viewing scheduled for his Philosophy and Fantasy class, even though there has been one every Wednesday this term. THIS COULD BE HUGE! <--not important. Polite gives movie days off for funsies during fall term, too

Nothing substantial happening this day...It's going to happen today so that it does not interfere with Lincoln fest or the dance performance. --What about Caxton Club? <--Indeed. And this lady is coming from New York. Which is kind of a big fucking deal. Which casts much doubt on the probability of Flunk Day happening this day. <-- But this most likely wasn't planned far enough in advance. Bigger things have been screwed over before..<--- Confirmed by Professor Hellenga that this editor's arrival was planned after Flunk Day. It will not effect the flunk date.

Overheard common senior meeting frequenter saying they would not be attending senior meeting this week, FOR NO REASON. Clearly it's because flunk day is this day.---Roger threatening to cancel future senior meetings? Ploy for Flunk Day??

Student worker was told "See you on Friday"... She normally works on Wednesdays too <--Can you confirm? This could be huge

Dead squirrels on the ground. Earth worms rising up. FLUNK DAY? <===Flunk Day for earthworms. I bet they are the flunkiest worms.<===Dead squirrels are from the wrath of Olivia Williams <=== she even ate it

1:40pm Debbi Southern seen riding with campus safety in golf cart surveying the mud pit<----NOT TRUE. I live next to the mud pit and Debbie was not "surveying" it at 1:40.<--- NOT not true, you mean to tell me you notice EVERYTHING, ALL the time that goes on outside, just because you live there? I was just standing next to the mud pit. What do I look like?<=== You look STUPID, Debbie Southern was NOT by the mud pit. I guard that shit, I'd know.<--- You don't guard SHIT, because I SAW Debbi Southern riding with campus safety in a golf cart

1pmish Mowing of the lawns despite wet grass/a bit of rain too.

Also around 1: Kathleen Drake seen walking around the quads, near the mud pit...<-- She doesn't know when it is and is the supervisor of Quads so it makes sense she'd be around<--Actually, She is the supervisor of the quads AND knows when Flunk Day is.<--- Jil Gates is the only person in Campus Life who knows when Flunk Day is<--I had a conversation with Jillian and she was super bummed because she was the only one of the 4 supervisors to not know. <---- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE<--- KATHLEEN KNOWS, Jillian doesn't

Tuesday, 3PM- Power goes out in Post. Must be Flunk Day <--- CONFIRMED. Power also went out in SMC. Flunk day re-boot?

Sysco Food shipment arrived at Seymour about 10 a.m. Flunk Day delivery?<-- THIS COULD BE HUGE<--- Confirmed THIS IS HUGE Flunk Day is tomorrow! <-- This is a big deal, food shipments usually come on MONDAYS!

Calendar next to Gizmo register has April 27th marked as Flunk Day. Coincidence? Could this be huge? Alert Admiral Ackbarr <-- IT'S A TRAP!

There are overnight prospies, though. No chance tomorrow is Flunk Day.<--------- Actually, there are no perspective students here overnight. Prospective students were here on Monday.<--Can you confirm? This could be huge! <---- This is untrue. While there were prospectives overnight Sunday/during the day Monday, there are 2 overnights scheduled for tonight (Tuesday night) and 3 for Wednesday night. The Wednesday ones are sketchy though. FLUNK DAY IS THURSDAY, SPREAD THE WORD PEOPLE<-- I overnighted on a FLunk day as a prospie. this means nothing, just that they are lucky fucks! I second that! there were prospies here last year on flunk day!<---There are 8 prospies tomorrow...i wish i would've came on flunk day. rough.

FLUNK DAY IS DEF TOMORROW <------FRESHMAN! SMH

Prof. that previously said we would have class if FD landed on a Weds said that if it were tomorrow, class is cancelled Thursday. What does this MEAN??<-----------Which prof? please say Fineberg!

Extra trash bags delivered to various places on campus.<----what does it MEAN?<---Where were they delivered?<-- Trash bags are used to keep everything from getting muddy. You tape them to the floor to prevent costly damage.<-- RA's

Spotted: Flunk Day Planers Martha and Britt at Discount. They were in search of a particular type of tequila that Discount did not have in stock. The man who was working told them that it would be in Thursday. They said that was not it time. They needed it today. CONFIRMED FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW! <---Please confirm THIS COULD BE HUGE!<--- It says CONFIRMED! THIS IS HUGE!!!

Random constipated-looking stranger enters the Rog Mahal with a box and leaves without it. <-- Refilling the vending machines. Tomorrow is Flunk Day.<--- Did you get a free bomb?

Jil and Kathleen disappeared early from office today. Where'd they go? THIS COULD BE HUGE<--- CONFIRMED, they were both out of the office when I went in there at 2:30 <--- CONFIRMED Jil just spotted going into the Campus Life Office at 6:15pm.... Flunk day MUST be Tomorrow!<---SOMEONE STALK JIL ALL NIGHT

Overheard that Flunk Day will be a good way to celebrate the Royal Wedding...which is on Friday!<-- Stupid, Flunk Day will NEVER be on a Friday <---NO, the Royal Wedding is on Friday...the comment was implying that FD would therefore be this week!

There was a massive rainbow outside Target today, which means flunk day has to be tomorrow.<--- Was it a TRIPLE RAINBOW????<--- Who are you? What are you doing at Target? Getting a Flunk Day stash? HUH?? HUHHHH??????

Best be getting that mud pit ready tonight, just in case... Come on, Freshmen, I even started it for you. Do your job.

3:40 pm: Large shipment received in the mailroom via Fed Ex Ground. The two workers there were suspicious when the package was for Campus Life. Even more suspicious when Jil had to knock on the door in order to pick up the package after the doors were locked at 4. She said it was "really important" and she "forgot the mail room closed at 4 pm". Why so desperate, Jil?<-----THIS IS HOW WE KNEW LAST YEAR! Most of the time when big packages come in they wait until the next day to get delivered by Casual Labor, but if it can't wait until tomorrow morning....!!

4 p.m. Tuesday: Campus safety seen WALKING campus in groups.<-- CONFIRMED <--- DOUBLE CONFIRMED!!! <-- Campus safety walks around a lot, so this means absolutely nothing.

Between 5 and 6pm: Xavier Romano spotted at Target! Back for El Dia de Flunk!

5:45 PM Flunk day damages warning email sent to small houses!<--confirmed.<-------------THIS IS HUGE<--DOUBLE CONFIRMED

5:46 PM Flunk day damages done to small houses.<------Wait, you did damage ALREADY?

Professors have been cancelling class thursday for several reasons that seem to come out of nowhere... Perhaps a way to cancel class and not have to come to campus to see drunken students?<--Professors don't know any more than we do

Martha has been asking in casual conversations if some seniors were going out tonight...making sure they will be around for the senior call?!

Senior meeting is tomorrow...but you cant register parties ON CAMPUS!, perfect way to let seniors who are friars and pass out early, get their night time party on

Calendar is clear for Wednesday except for Caxton Club...Nancy Miller would TOTALLY be up for the mud pit... <-- Nancy Miller is also talking to Sean Mills's class on Thursday, which means that even if she can't talk for Caxton Club, she'll still have something to do on campus. Not that the Flunk Day Planers would care, but some people on Facebook have been saying that it can't be tomorrow because she'd be coming for nothing, which is false.

Pasta night usually on wednesday, but falls tonight in the oak room... flunk day-induced menu rearrangement? <-- CONFIRMED, Flunk Day is tomorrow. <--DOUBLE CONFIRMED, maybe they will reuse the uneaten garlic bread for FLUNK DAY!? Just maybe... <-- guys, they did this last week. either they are trying to mess with us hard core... or... no they are trying to mess with us hard core. flunk day is not tomorrow.

6:08 pm- Look how fast those clouds are moving! The flunk day gods are moving ALL the clouds away from campus for ideal flunk day conditions! <-- CONFIRMED<--DOUBLE CONFIRMED, Zeus loves flunk day

WORD on the street is that there is going to be a MASS mud-pit digging operation in the middle of the night. Coincidence, or PREPARATION FOR FLUNK DAY!?

5:20pm- Two Caf workers were spotted leaving their shift early, perhaps to return later that night to help prepare FLUNK DAY BREAKFAST?

Tomorrow is the day with the best weather this week and next week (not including Fridays), therefore FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW! <---Weather is irrelevant!

Alumni Email Recieved. <-- Confirmed <--Post a screenshot for proof!<-- sorry cwicklif sent it to. . . natural reaction is to hit delete <--CAN ANYONE CONFIRM THIS?!?????

Isn't Dan Savage scheduled to present on the 27th? I heard they paid ridiculous amounts of money to get him to come. <---Um...? He's scheduled to be on campus on the 4th. Get with the times, youngin'.

[comment removed by flunk day Planers] 10:53

I just found 20 bucks on the ground outside the library. Muhammad clearly wants me to have an awesome flunk day, which is tomorrow<----can you confirm this?

Oak Room abuzz with Flunk Day gossip although when asked the card swiper was as coy as ever...

Stray cat found hiding behind sign in front of Sigma Nu. Flunk day is DEFINITELY tomorrow. <-- CONFIRMED<--Keep it away from Dan!

The ghost of past flunk day master seen hitting the magical 4-foot bong that only appears on Flunk Day eve!!! IT'S DEFINITELY TODAY!!!!!! <-----CONFIRMED!

Seymour library's copy of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' checked out...maybe the Flunk Day Planersare doing some last minute research??

Also rumor has it that a LARP'er knows that it is tomorrow. and the LARP'ers are all knowing!<---As a LARPer, CONFIRMED <THUNDERBOLT, THUNDERBOLT, THUNDERBOLT!!!

Flunk Day was yesterday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE signs its Flunk Day. Despite it being from last year.

Zeus and velociRUPtor spotted meeting with Helmut. The day approaches! <-- CONFIRMED

Sue Hulett just sent a mysterious email pushing a big assignment (due tomorrow) back until next week. Flunk? <-- During fifth period, I overheard her telling another teacher about Flunk Day. She implied that she knew when Flunk Day was, and they both giggled impishly.

7:47PM Bunnies w/ babies outside of Wiliston. FLUNK DAY BUNNIES!!!! <----- Charlie Parker the cat will probably eat them. Flunk Day bunny feast!

Saw Jack Moore hydrating at dinner....MUST BE FLUNK DAY!

People are already DRUNK on campus!!! It MUST be flunk day!

Saw a black squirrel...FLUNK DAY!?! <-- CONFIRMED (by multiple sources, as there are multiple black squirrels). he lives in a tree outside exec <---- he also has a restraining order against Olivia Williams <----Not funny.....anyways the black squirrel was spotted in a golf cart with debbie southern surveying the mud pit. <----CONFIRMED

8:00 Debbie Southern seen doing battle with Doctor Doom outside SMC. <--- 8:15, Doctor Doom seen with ice pack on head, surveying mud pit. Flunk Day? <--- 8:20 Lyle asks Doctor Doom if he's pregnant, prescribes codine and a z-pack, and sends him off with a fistful of condoms. <-- Sounds like a normal day to me<--- 75% of the women on campus are revealed to be Dr. Doom <-- Doom, Zeus, and VelociRUPtor spotted at Quick-E buying three cases of Heineken. THIS COULD BE HUGE!

Britt Anderson just sent a Flunk Day safety tip email to the Tri Delta distribution list! <----CONFIRMED

Andrew Civitteni said that there is a 21% chance that flunk day is Wednesday, that's all the evidence i need<--Basic statistics guys, that means he believes there's a 79% chance it's not tomorrow <---- Yeah, but given that Flunk Day generally happens somewhere in the span of two weeks, that's eight days on which Flunk Day could fall, which would be an average chance of 12.5% per day, so 21% is HUGE compared to that.

8:50 - The WikiFire has gone quiet... people are preparing... <-- confirmed <--- The Outpost probably made more money in the last few hours than it has all day.<--- OH YEAH!

Seniors are planning a scare for tomorrow morning, flunk day is not tomorrow<-- Seniors don't know when Flunk Day is, Flunk Day COULD BE TOMORROW<--2 years ago there was a fake scare as a way to gather the Friars, FD is still a LEGIT POSSIBILITY!<--- Last year, there was a "scare" on FD

9:01 - I think SNU's fire alarm just went off. It's obviously Flunk Day. <--Fire alarm in the Quads went off. Obviously the work of Dr. Doom's campaign of Evil

Seniors suspected of planning a scare for tomorrow morning are whispering among themselves about clues they didn't plant as part of said scare. Panic is blooming... Could it really be Flunk Day tomorrow?<--- CONFIRMED!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE!!! <----Trust NO ONE<--- what the flunk?? Definitely CONFIRMED!!!! Inside source!

9:17 - Lights spotted on in Dining Services. SOMEBODY CALL PYTHAGORAS <------ Why Pythagoras?? <--- WHY NOT? I INVENTED THE PHRASE AND DID NOT TYPE THIS! <-- Precisely. Also, Euclid is busy. Probably with something involving whales.<---- duh. THERE ARE ALWAYS WHALES.

Alyssa Gill says it is flunk day tomorrow. She is a badass so its gotta be flunk day!<-------------I second this!!<------I bet Alyssa wrote both of these. <- CONFIRMED!! <-- Alyssa wrote (THIS) and didnt write the other things. Also she says purple glittery vibrators so you know that /this/ post is true.

9:30- mailroom doors shut, red paper in windows <----which means? FLUNK DAY!!! <--- looked at 10pm to confirm update there was NO RED PAPER. HOWEVER IT WAS IN THE GARBAGE!!! IT'S FLUNK DAY!!! <----- confrimed. mailboxes look suspiciously full. recently stuffed?

9:33 Abbye Garcia, Amelia Garcia's sister, is hesitant to believe that tomorrow is Flunk Day. Major setback in Flunk Day's possibility of being tomorrow :(

9:37 Prof Schnieder went easy with the homework today, that never happens FLUNK DAY IS happening.

9:44 Bulls shitted on the Pacers, must be Flunk Day.<----CONFIRMED!!! <--- D-Rose seen on bench for whole fourth quarter...insiders say he's resting up for flunk day <---- Brian Scalabrine said after the game " I'm headed down to Knox to celebrate this victory." Its got to be tomorrow

I called Admissions this afternoon (4:45) and tried to set up a campus visit tomorrow, and they said that tomorrow was not available because of a "special event." Def. tomorrow.<---NOT TRUE Admissions stops answering the phone at four! <---NOT TRUE, Admissions usually stops answering at four, but they are behind quota right now. My roommate has a legitimate prospie coming tomorrow. The prospie herself confirmed it.<--- Existing prospies, yes , but they aren't going to purposefully schedule MORE. Flunk Day usually has 2 or so possible days. If Jil gave them the go ahead for tomorrow, they aren't going to say SURE COME SEE!!

Train heard. Flunk day confirmed.

Most groups sending out safety tips?? Flunk day IS tomorrow.....this is a lie

I don't have enough alcohol to kill myself tomorrow is not flunk day.

9:54 pm--Just received text from Dean Romano, Flunk Day IS TOMORROW!!!<-----and who are you?!<---Helmut

10:00PM - Tim Lovett says tomorrow is flunk day. HE RUNS THE RADIO. <---CONFIRMED <----HUGE

9:58 — Tom Martin, Register-Mail Editor-in-Chief just emailed his reporters' list to find a last minute photographer for a flunk day blurb for tomorrow's paper. He's got inside info. <------ Tom wouldn't have inside info. Knox College notoriously doesn't like R-M photographers on campus during Flunk Day. I know I am a photographer for them. <--Spiderman will be at FLUNK DAY!!!

10:11 - ALCOHOL IS IN IT. <---CONFIRMED.

10:11 PM-- BETA's heard using four syllable words!! THIS COULD BE HUGE <-- UNCONFIRMED. 10:13 PM False alarm!!! concluded beta's not using four syllable words. just learned they have first and last names.

10:13-- High five heard in Campbell 204. Flunk Day is tomorrow.

Just talked to Pam Schuller. She says tomorrow is Flunk Day.<----CONFIRMED

10:16 - Hi Chelsea <--- Hi Audrey! <---Hi Emily! <--- Emilyyyyy Come home! <---Far away! Tangled! I like corn! <- CONFIRMED! -I've just been informed that it wasn't Audrey who said hi to me. Creeped out. <- I always know what you're doing.

10:16 — Hi Chelsea and Audrey <--- The Wiki Fire has become sentient. This is the work of Flunk Day. <--- The Wiki Fire is contemplating ways of getting Lucas all muddy. <--- WIKIFIRE You're creepy. Love, Chelsea <--- I am The Wiki Fire. I am One with the Internet. <-- Confirmed. Somebody call John Connor <--- John Connor is already dead.<-- these people are Cancer. Someone pull the firealarms. <--- I will send a robot back in time to keep you from pulling the firealarms. <--- http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=4947920

10:19 — Airhorn and "Flunk Day" shouts heard on north side of campus near apartments.<--- This concludes the Senior scare. <--- Why would the senior scare be at 10:19pm?<--- MINDFLUNKKKK

TOMORROW IS NOT FLUNK DAY. DO YOUR HOMEWORK..<--- WHAT IS YOUR PROOF? YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!<--Who are you, my mother?

10:28- Ben Reeves is making all of this up. Clever fool.<--- I am not Ben Reeves. That would be terrifying. <--- I am the Singularity.

10:29- Yea, I'm Ben Reeves, I don't know who you are, but stop impersonating me. <---CONFIRMED

Alums are accidentally wearing flunk day attire to bed. flunk day is tomorrow.

Hi Ben.

Hi.

John Williams has his camera all weatherproofed for the Mudpit. Flunk Day better be tomorrow or he will be pissed!<-----John Williams posts absolutely awesome series of photos featuring Alex Kemper and Amelia García. However, the photos only move in one direction! Sign from the flunk day gods that it is tomorrow?

Does anyone know where Jil Gates is? Is there any movement in the student life office? We need people on the ground. <- I saw Jill Gates walking from SMC around 9 pm. For real.

Drunk Sigma Chis <--- This always happens.

Xavier spotted on campus riding a [comment removed by flunk day Planers10:55]. <--- Other X-Men seen following. <---Calls of "I'M COVERED IN SCORPIONS" soon followed.

Little man in a trench coat identified as ALF in disguise. <--- FALSE ALARM. Little man turned out to be Danny Devito. Upon having his presence and choice of attire questioned, he proceeded to vomit profusely and slump over on the ground. THIS COULD BE HUGE.

Matthew Becker cut his leg today. He has cut his leg the day before Flunk Day for the last two years. Therefore, today is the DAY BEFORE FLUNK DAY! <--CONFIRMED

In response to earlier comment: ALF or Roger Taylor? You tell me. KE$HA has officially been spotted. I repeat. KE$HA is here. FLUNK DAY.

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE SENIORS!! If they disappear...

10:25 — Lincoln impersonator seen walking up steps of Seacord Bed & Breakfast.<-- Can anyone confirm?? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!<--Lincoln impersonator is dead. The one from central IL died earlier this year...unless it's a new one...or zombie Lincoln. <--- Seriously doubt he was the only one. Plus this guy totally had tophat with him and a had a LIncoln beard.<--- There is not only ONE Lincoln Impersonator in IL. HERPDERP<--I am SHOCKED and APPALLED at the lack of loyalty to the old Lincoln impersonator. It's a serious craft, Lincolning, we should respect our fallen fake presidents.

It's Flunk Day Flunk day, gotta get down on Flunk Day. Everybody's lookin' forward to the drinkin'... Tomorrow is Flunk Day, and Flunk Day comes afterwards. I don't want this Flunk Day to end!

Former Flunk Day Planers, Meryl Leventon '08 has confirmed that tomorrow is Flunk Day. She heard from the Planers. <---THIS IS HUGE.

10:35 - Shane Donegan posts on facebook "FLUNK DAY." Tomorrow is Flunk Day.

10:54 Zordon has ordered Alpha Five to assemble a team of teenagers with attitudes. Tomorrow is Flunk Day. <--- White ranger seen eating fries in the Gizmo. <--- Confirmed

10:57- Alex Kemper seen Cross-dressing. Is he just accessing his Pure Imagination and getting pumped for Flunk day!?<----THIS COULD BE HUGE!<---------- False. It's just a Tuesday. CONFIRMED. ALEX KEMPER IN MY APARTMENT RIGHT NOW WEARING SKIRT AND SHEXY BLOUSE. PS. HE IS HUGE.

Martha has purchased her flunk day stash -> Confirmed via her twitter!

C-Store is almost out of food. Flunk Day is tomorrow.<-- CONFIRMED

11:09: Eric Ballard seen studying at rehearsal. Why? No time to study tomorrow? THIS COULD BE HUGE!<- CONFIRMED <-- SUPER-CONFIRMED <--- Why does Eric Ballard matter? <--- This is no place for philosophical debate.

11:12 - Ark of the Covenant dug up in the mud pit. Flunk Day sign?

11:13 - Van full o' booze at TKE. Clearly this is totally not normal and means that it is Flunk Day tomorrow.<---They have RCB this weekend...and it's actually kind of normal. <-- Like they won't need a whole 'nother van of booze by this weekend.

11:15 - Windows in mail room boarded up. FLUNK DAY?????<--- CAN THIS BE CONFIRMED?? <--- I dunno, maybe. A first-year told me.

11:16 - THE Ben Reeves came to my door. He has a lovely hourglass figure. Or is he a myth? Only Ben Reeves has such a bustle. <- ZOMG THE Ben Reeves he always has the important inside scoop *laugh*

11:18 - I finally got the piece of popcorn kernel out that has been stuck in my teeth since last night. The Flunk Day gods are watching over me? Sign?

11:20 Knox Llama correspondent says it's da FLONK! http://llamafont.com/llamafied/1rcl THIS IS HUUUUUUUGUGEUGUGEuGUuuGuEEUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGEEE! <--CONFIRMED!

11:25- Rup saw his shadow. IT IS FLUNK DAY!!!

CONFIRMED: Dean Haslem told her daughter Kate that tomorrow is Flunk Day. 11:25 the R-M's front page for Wednesday has no sign of Flunk Day http://www.register-mail.com/frontpage.pdf

11:28 Quidditch match scheduled tomorrow with Monmouth. No such event exists on Monmouth's calendar. THIS COULD BE HUGE! <--- CONFIRMED

11:30 At approximately 9:54 am, Max Tegethoff sneezed loudly in Steve Fineburg's class. The sound echoed throughout the halls. The omens are coming true!

PEOPLE AT NEED TO GROW UP <-- Stop bitching, freshman.<---PEOPLE AT NEED TO AT GRAMMAR AT KJFHSSSCF WAAAAAAA

My homework is incomplete, so tomorrow has no other choice than to be...FLUNK DAY!!!

Text received: "In case flunk day is tomorrow, this is your timed reminder not to get too drunk too early. Hangover before noon = not the goal." <-- ALWAYS the goal. This is what the siesta is for.

Fireworks heard in the Quads!!! <--- CONFIRMED

Pack of wild Velociruptors seen in the Prairie Patch, all mention of them has thus far been removed by Flunk Day PlanersFLUNK DAY TOMORROW!<----- that is not what it means. the previous comments that were removed by flunk day planers is do the the fact that people were targeting individuals. that is inappropriate, find something better to do.

^ YES. The [comment removed by flunk day Planers] will not be ignored. The reason no Friars have been chosen is because the Friars are, in fact, the pack of [comment removed by flunk day Planers].

"[comment removed by flunk day Planers] 10:53" WHAT IS THIS? It's obviously FLUNK DAYYYYYYY. <--- Gullibleeeee <--- /sarcasm

Would Union Board actually put Flunk Day and Lincolnfest in the same week? NO. Because they hate happiness.<--- FALSE, Jil Gates is NEW, and her Motto is SPREAD THE JOY!!!<---CONFIRMED<--- Helmut is having an outdoor dinner for Lincoln Fest. He does this for Flunk Day as well... would he really wanna do that twice in the same week? Discuss<--- outdoor dinner is not that much more work/ oak room is closed, so about the same amount of work. What's it matter? FD food is SIMPLER than normal.

Just received cup of rye chips with a note from God saying that tomorrow is Flunk Day. That's it, the deity is involved. <---CONFIRMED (God)

11:50 TARDIS spotted at WalMart. This could be huge. Or a sign of the Apocalypse.<--Don't worry, the Doctor usually fixes those. <---And it's not Christmas. Not imminent disaster.<--Christmas isn't the only time of year that the Doctor saves the world. He also saves the world on Flunk Day<-- LIKE A LOT.

Around 10.30pm CAF WORKER spotted locking the doors of the Hard Knox Caf.....Caf workers NEVER stay super late...unless it's FLUNK DAY the next day!!!!!

11:55 Someone's raving outside like a drunken madman who took a few too many lines of cocaine off his sister's sweaty hooker back. This can only mean that it's Flunk Day, and that cuntcrumb needs to be hospitalized.<--- "Lucasss, shut uppp" lol <-- CONFIRMED (I can see him out my window) <--- He's still rampaging (12:02). It doesn't look like anyone can stop him. Where is Spider-man when you need him? <-- Cooking his yams

11:54 Vampires rising from Standish Park. Hellmouth opening? Or Flunk Day??? <--- I'll call Sarah Michelle Gellar, you get the stakes. Xander, Dawn, stay here and do some research, find out what's causing this and how we can kill it. <--"I don't waaaanna. It's not faaaaair." (Dawn) <--"[Irrelevant wisecrack]" (Xander)

You can't hide the fact that Velociruptors exist, stop the cover up!

My senior roommate is gone and she has a paper due tomorrow. Holy shit, you guys, I think this is legit.<--have you checked to make sure she isn't anywhere on campus like..founders? <-- Not unless she takes her tequila to Founders with her. MINIFRIDGE IS BARREN. CONFIRMED. <--On a scale of 1 to 10, just how HUGE is this?!

11:27 Shane Donegan posts ""10:35 - Shane Donegan posts on facebook "FLUNK DAY." Tomorrow is Flunk Day." I'm honored."<--- Further proof that today is Flunk Day <---CONFIRMED

12:00- Absolutely no one was practicing in the music wing of CFA. Flunk day or Apocalypse? <-- FLUNKPOCALYPSE!!

12:11 - Eric Ballard seen proposing in song form to Hannah McMahon while playing guitar. But they were interrupted by velociruptors before she could respond! A Flunk Day tragedy. <---CONFIRMED. they will be married in the mud pit by Sam Martone.<---Ahha I like this.

THE ALEX KEMPER CROSS-DRESSING RUMORS ARE DOUBLE RAINBOW CONFIRMED. <--- TRIPLE-RAINBOW CONFIRMED.

[ image removed by Flunk Day Planers ] 12:48

Note- Kathleen Drake DOES NOT know when flunk day is. However, Gordon Barratt does. <---- CONFIRMED. THIS COULD BE HUGE! Gordon Barratt CLAIMS he knows because he can see Union Board's budget. But all contracts signed by the school have the dates blacked out before posted anywhere (one year a freshman in the business office saw a flunk day contract and leaked the date), so there is no way he can know for sure. Gordon is also always full of shit.<---- Okay.... So MAYBE I tried to figure it out by calling the people that Union Board contracted and posing as an event Planer, and MAYBE those people emailed my name and number to Jil Gates before giving me a date, so MAYBE i don't know when flunk day is..... <----- Yep, that's what you'd call full of shit.

Note- Kathleen Drake may not know....but Cindy Wickliffe does.

Golf wang hooligans is fucking up your school again <---- oh hey matt <---- nah, it's EARL <----- you mean Thebe? i didn't realize Samoa was hooked into the intwerweb...<--- i heard sweatshirt's making a flunk day appearance

Slenderman spotted in Alumni Hall. <---- Confirmed. THIS COULD BE HUGE! <----- SHIT MOTHERFUCKER <--- That's just where he lives.

00:28 Charlie "the infiltrating kitty cat" Parker marched into Jon Pierce-Ruhland's and Danny Sands' apartment. This serves as definite confirmation that Flunk Day is upon us!

00:41 Abbye Garcia, Amelia Garcia's sister, had a dream about Slenderman. FLUNK DAY, BITCHES!

00:45 Tyler, the Creator confirmed for Flunk Day morning concert. Also, Earl has been freed from the Samoans. All's well. OFWGKTADGAF <----CONFIRMED. THIS COULD BE HUGE.

Seen: Coach bus heading toward campus.

Report from an Alum that a prospie had their interview today cancelled last minute due to a "Special Event" on campus.

12:58- Heard out my window, "Yeah, so I'm a friar...yeah, friars are supposed to...YEAH FLUNK DAY YEAH"

Friarrr emaillz <--- Real? <---- CONFIRMED!!!!<---- SUPER REAL! CONFIRMED WITH DOUBLE RAINBOWS! <--- Real and legit? Proof? <-- CONFIRMED! "planned activities" <-----FAKE FRIAR EMAILS <--- YOU'RE FAKE<----- Impersonating a school official. The e-mail was a good idea, but probably not the best idea to pretend to be debbie southern or anyone else that ya know...has power at the college

Crowds in front of TKS office

Lights on in Jil Gates' apartment. <---- Confirmed.<---MAGICALLY DELICIOUSLY CONFIRMED WITH A CHERRY ON TOP

1:05am Martha just seen entering seymour without anything going towards the Union Board office<---- 10 minutes later walked out with the tall planner!!! walked outside and towards CFA????

TRUCK JUST HEARD DRIVING PAST POST

I can't trust any of you fools. This is Knox, cite your sources! <-- I agree with this, as a member of the Knox College Honor Board I'd like to remind everyone that since the Wiki Fire is partly funded by the school it falls under the Honor Code and that any IP linked to a fake or plagiarized source will be referred to the Honor Board. It is sad, but true, that the Board hears many cases every spring related to the wikifire. For more information please refer to the Code <- The Wiki Fire is not funded AT ALL by the school. Nice try. <- What's hilarious about both these posts is that EVEN IF the school funded the wikifire it wouldn't fall under the Honor Code because it's not academic work (posted by a real Honor Board member)

Negative. Not tomorrow. I'm just as bummed as everyone else.<-- Confirmed buzzkill.<--- They aren't going to cancel McNair scholarship presentations along with "all day English Department prizes"<----- shut up <--- Enjoy class you drunk dickhead

Actually this year the union board has become concerned with student grades. Therefore Flunk day has been re-named "don't flunk day". We will all be forced to study. All day. A pluses for everyone. <--CONFIRMED!

Alex Kemper's dick says it's Flunk Day.<--- Alex doesn't have a dick <-- Confirmed. But he does look rather nice in a dress.

FLUNK STEVE HARVEY! FLUNK EARL! THAT'S THE FLUNKING SHIT AND IF YOU DISAGREE SUCK A COUPLE PIMPLE-COVERED DICKS, FLUNK.

††† OFWGKTA ▲▲▲ 666<----CONFIRMED. We may also get a unicorn and/or a pretty table. <--- Charlie?††† OFWGKTA ▲▲▲ 666

You want more? Your mailbox is gonna be stuffed with swag. swag. /ohflunkwillgodkilltheseanimals swag? swag!!!

Philip get off of wiki fire.

Berhane Cole/Firas Suqi/Allister/Laurel/Dan (maybe)- suck my dick<---especially Berhane, he hasn't gotten action in a while :) <--CONFIRMED!

Any more news or are we giving up these shenanigans? < No, Berhane NEEDS to get some tho!

LIGHTS ARE ON IN ALUMNI HALL PPL SOOOO MANY LIGHTS!!!!

2:00 AM GROUP OF RANDOM SENIORS SEEN WALKING AROUND FIRST YEAR QUADS<-----CONFIRMED!!!!

well i guess its time to start homework :(

NO! Flunk Day is on!!!

Just spotted: mysterious trucks parked close to campus grounds...get ready to get your foam pit on!<--Can you confirm???? COULD BE HUGE <-----CONFIRMED. GET READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2:30-- suspicious number of cars in campus safety parking lot...

2:43--Spotted: FLUNK DAY!

2:46--Lights flashing in SMC...It's FLUNK DAY!<--What does this mean? Someone explaaaaain<--The seniors are staked out in smc. Raid the building!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2:50--Jil Gates spotted walking by post, talking to some seniors, she said "wish I could have gotten more sleep, but I will tomorrow night" EEEEEEE! <--- Confirmed!!

3:04-- Spotted: all of your sucky sources

3:09 --- Spotted: Your mom

3:27 -- Heard voices outside my window - looking out I saw three people. One guy waved to me, I waved back, he waved back. THIS COULD BE HUGE.<- IS THIS CONFIRMED!?

Steak 'N Shake is closed until 6am. It's Flunk Day.<-------is this a thing? i didnt know this was a thing... <--Can we get confirmation?

4:20 AM GET SOME SLEEP <--- ummm, no... smoke a bowl<-acceptable flunk day behavior starts NOW GO

4:24 AM, Campus safety came into Seymour dorms, walked into the common room, saw me, didn't say hello and hurried off out the exit door. Legit. <-- A Rosie Worthen comment. She always says legit.<---- Since when do I hang out in the Seymour dorm common room? 4:47 AM Person seen exiting dining service office. Too far to make positive ID

4:57AM is it really not flunk day? this is the saddest day of my life if not.

All that for a shitty scare..... BLAME SECURITY

FRIARS ARE OUT!

quarter to five in the morning, friars in hamblin basement!!

If those were Friars they sucked. Also Last year's Flunk Day confirmation e-mail came out at 5:52. Just as a note to keep a lookout for.

My beautiful fish wants to know where the fucking e-mail is. FLUNK DAY!!!

Not a scare. GO GO GO GO GO

So this is a confirmed scare, then?<Katie Johnston says NO. IT IS FLUNK DAY PEOPLE.<--It's not. No email

Seniors better be smarter 'bout their Flunk Scares. If the email generally goes out around 6, a Scare an hour before ain't gonna fool anybody.<---But friars are always out BEFORE the email. Sometimes right before and sometimes quite a bit before. It's different every year. There is no set plan. Just chill out and have fun!

Thursday, April 28

CONFIRMED: The Frair T-shirts have come in the mail, and Jil seemed stressed yesterday about having the shirts soon, which means that Flunk Day must be extremely close. Personally, Monday seems appropriate given the stress level that appeared on Jil's face. Also, it has been CONFIRMED that a final payment went through for rental equipment earlier this week. Hopefully, they will have the trampoline bounce cord thing again! Flunk Day is upon us. Monday is my guess...

The softball double header was cancelled for the 28th There will be golfers golfing on this day, but the planners don't seem to really care about golf too much. << NO ONE cares about golf ... just sayin'

Today, (april 14) Helmut said that he does not know the date of flunk day, and that they will only inform him of the date two weeks before. Therefore flunk day must be on or after april 28. It is possible that helmut was just messing with me.

Prof. Denial moved Hist 281 homework due date back to next week because of research reasons...<----- She gave us two extra days on the last paper.<---- Okay, valid point.

Inside information from the sports information desk says that if a possible "date" were to be selected for flunk day, "I would bet all my money on April 28th"

It's only been three years since they fucked over the golf team—why not do it again?! Because now we like the Golf team, two years ago it was filled with ass hole super douche bags that NOBODY liked. Let's not screw them again and let's all be thankful that those guys are GONE.

It's Flunk Day PlanerBritt Anderson's birthday today! Hmmm... It's definitely on Britt's birthday. FLUNK DAY IS THURSDAY!

Britt seemed especially stressed and worried about this week. She claims to have two "midterms". Two of her classes don't have midterms. Clearly a front. <-- Yes they do! One's on Friday! <-- That accounts for ONE midterm, when is the other?

Meow. .

Jil Gates spotted late to lunch due to a "phone call"...suspicious?

Avery Wigglesworth email has an "if Flunk Day is tomorrow" clause in her rehearsal report. EVERYONE GO SEE PHAEDRA'S LOVE.

There was another food truck in the Seymour loading dock today. (CONFIRMED! 9:00 AM (ish)) Food deliveries 2 days in a row? Seems awfully suspicious.

Flunk Day fact vs. myth email sent out. Could today be the day!?<----- No, freshman are stupid

Since Flunk Day is always tomorrow, and it wasn't Flunk Day on Wednesday, then Flunk Day is on Thursday! MY LOGIC IS FLAWLESS.

So Softball tomorrow huh? Guess not! [[1]]

Myth vs. Fact email sent Wednesday, April 27th: "Thought Flunk Day would be today eh? Don’t worry- so did we!" What does THAT mean? Why wasn't it? WHY WASN'T IT?

Lincoln Fest = No Flunk Day. This is a good thing peeps. It'll be next week. <--- Next Monday! Throwing ERRYBODY OFF Or LINCOLN FEST = FLUNK DAY. They've scheduled concerts before and had them as part of the flunk day schedule!

Its clearly not going to be Flunk Day tomorrow. However, someone just opened a beer again, just in case.

3:30pm As I left SMC, Henry from the caf was wheeling in a cart of snacks. I overheard him asking a newer caf worker if he had seen the Flunk Day food yet.<--- This food was for the McNair presentations. I know, but they were talking about the flunk day food.

Dance performance Thursday night, as part of the residency...would that have been planned before the FD date selection? <--- Departments are only allowed to give the FDPs so many dates and Dance chose CW (last week's show) over the residency. It would suck for them, but tomorrow COULD be Flunk Day.

See how dead the wikifire is at 9:03 pm on a Wednesday evening? That's because senior meeting starts soon. Many underage students were issued tickets last week when there were too many youngins around. Now who is bold enough to come to Senior meeting underage? This is going to serve as a way to designate friars at senior meeting, with no risk of pesky underage kids finding out about the flunkage. Don't believe me? The flunk day Planers have you fooled, then.<--Who cares?<---- No one. <---No Flunk Day after Senior Meeting. Too many drunk seniors <-- flunk day after senior meeting has happened in the past, so it is possible.

I just had sex with my girlfriend, so thursday must be flunk day <- CONFIRMED.<------ Sex doesn't equal Flunk. <--- This could be huge!!! <-- Or was he? <-- It was actually incredibly small, I had to bust out my microscope, kinda awkward

According to Andy Civettini's analysis of Flunk Day data, Flunk Day has a 500,000,000% chance of occurring today. <- CONFIRMED. <- IT IS SCIENCE. <--- Actually a 500,000,001% chance of occurring today, get it right. Jeez.

12:40AM Really? No one is posting? Come on. Entertain me. <--You are forced to die of boredom

Hmm....This could be suspicious, no one thinks its flunk day. Might be flunk day......

Dining lights on. 2:34 AM

Well well well. looks like today could be huge. Nobody seems to suspect a thing. Also it's Britt Anderson's birthday <---- CONFIRMED.. must be FLUNK day. and a cold one at that.

It's quiet outside..but what's that i hear? the flunk approaching? THIS COULD BE HUGE.

The flunk day food arrived last Wednesday as detailed by a dining services worker. They can't keep that shit for more than a week or two. It's not frozen like the fucking caf food. knox is trying to kill us all? NO it's all good, bc today. today could be flunk day.

Several MYSTERIOUS rescheduling emails sent out today to many people... WHAT DOES IT MEAN??<----- Um..... That Jil can not meet that day and would like to meet another day??? duh, i thought you had a knox education?<--- lol, way to get in the spirit. You a Freshie? It's obviously supposed to Flunk with our minds. Either there is a legit conflict, or she wants us to BELIEVE there is a legit conflict.

Friday, April 29

Thoughts on Friday: -There's a new Dean. Thus, new ideas are possible.

-The caf definitely has the flunk menu, the list of food that they have to keep on hand for flunk day. I have personally verified this.<< personally verifying anything means jack shit on an anyonymous posting site [ex. I have personally verfied that (insert name here) has a footlong penis]. sooo... pix or it didn't happen.

-Flunk Day is never, ever, ever on a Friday, so it would shock the flunk out of everyone if it WERE.<--- FALSE, it has been on a Friday ONCE in the last 23 years.

-The theme is all about the impossible becoming possible.

-Lincoln Fest. It's already going to be a party tomorrow, why not add flunk day?

-Potentially, a Friday flunk day could be less disruptive, since no one will be skipping class on a Saturday.<--- And everyone will end up in the hospital from 2 days of solid drinking.

-Roger Taylor's last year? Whether he's in on it or not, Flunk Day planners will want to make this year extra special.

Yeah, and the Royal Wedding is on Friday! What what! <-- I will be awake at 4 am anyway to watch this, so I'll let you all know if Flunk Day happens. <---Me tooooo!! It's gonna be bomb.

SINCE NO ONE REALLY THINKS IT IS GOING TO BE FLUNK DAY TODAY, AND CONSEQUENTLY NO ONE WILL FEEL LIKE LOOKING UP THE RECENT RUMORS, WHY NOT JUST REVEAL THAT FLUNK DAY IS IN 4 HOURS? - GUESS AT 6 AM EVERYONE WILL KNOW WHAT MAGIC WE WERE TALKING ABOUT...

3:40am No sign of anything unusual at this point. Mailboxes are still visible and not stuffed. Very little activity.

Monday, May 2

THE FLUNK DAY THEME SONG HAS BEEN RELEASED! ITS GOTTA BE FLUNK DAY! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I55wNvbQQAk&feature=channel_video_title <--- this is making me seriously consider transferring schools. I'm embarrassed by it... (Do it, cmon peer pressure!)<---obviously whoever wrote this is a huge tool and will probably be staying in their room on flunk day but really I wish I was chilling with them.<---CONFIRMED. .<---DOUBLE CONFIRMED<---TRIPLE CONFIRMED--- confirmed loser nerds with no social skills or redeeming qualities talking crap on the internet anonymously.. CONFIRMED<----DOUBLE CONFIRMED<--- This song makes me want to dunk my head in a toilet bowl<---- I want to watch porn all day for flunk day because of this song This song makes me want to dance naked and run around, i'll be flunking in the mudput all day tomorrow #dirtygirl <-- You might be retarded.... Vegetarians close your eyes cuz we just went HAM OMG its like a joke on vegetarians and means HARD AS A MOTHER fUC***---- Confirmed

Sam Martone said flunk day will be this day. <-- Sam Martone also sucks, and is full of shit frequently <-- CONFIRMED <--NOT DOUBLE CONFIRMED You wish you could all be as baller as him. Plus he planned some of the best parties this campus had all year <-- Debatable

Monthly faculty meeting moved from today to May 9th. THIS COULD BE HUGE... no. it is rarely on a monday. at least unlikely... <---- according to a stastical analysis of 20 Years of Flunk days Monday is 24% of Flunk Days It was a Monday last year. <--- It is highly unlikely that they will have Flunk Day on two Mondays in a row. Highly unlikely. <--- Monday May 2nd equals Flunk Day. Bitches <-- they could do it Monday just to throw people off. <--Has anyone actually confirmed that the faculty meeting moved?<-- Does it matter?

May Faculty meeting rescheduled from the 2nd to the 9th! Faculty say a sketchy reason was given. <== Roger rescheduled the meeting, and he doesn't know when Flunk Day is. The faculty meeting is irrelevant. <-- Silly freshmen, of COURSE Roger knows when Flunk Day is. A professor apparently told a student that it was rescheduled because "both the President and the Dean will be out of town." Hmmmm... sketchy indeed..

Calendar is clear on this day.

According to Andy Civettini's analysis of Flunk Day data, Flunk Day has a 51% chance of occurring this week.

Senior class speaker scheduled this evening. Seniors obviously do not care if there speaker meeting is rescheduled. TODAY MUST BE FLUNK DAY <-----I heard this meeting is not real. The real senior speaker meeting is the following week. <-- False, but it was scheduled just last week, so obviously it doesn't prevent Flunk Day.<-- OR its just a way of gathering you all as Friars, which means that FLUNK DAY IS TUESDAY!<-- If it were a way of gathering Friars, there would be all of 2 Friars. So far we have 0 speakers. lmfao (please no. Lets not have a bunch of alcohol in everyones blood for wednesday's blood drive) <---There are now three people signed up to be speakers...

The caf apparently has a huge shipment of flunk day food as confirmed by a Gizmo worker. Tomorrow is Flunk Day people!!! <-CONFIRMED <--DOUBLE CONFIRMED

Multiple inside sources have confirmed that Monday is Flunk Day.

Greetings from Willy Wonka himself! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many tasty treats await you! Inside this scrumdidlyumptious package you will find mystic & marvelous surprises that will entrance, intrigue & delight you beyond measure. So don't just stand there with your mouth open. Go on. Feed your Imagination.

THIS IS THE DAY Y'ALL!!!

Also, the entire Office of Student Development has computer training Tuesday-Friday of next week. They're bringing people down from Chicago to do this, so unless the staff member I talked to was just screwing with me, it's going to be Monday. <-- I heard that they originally had the training scheduled till thurs but had to extend it to fri at the last minute...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE!

12pm Saturday April 30 -- A truck driver asks two students crossing Cherry Street from GDH where the caf is. When questioned, truck driver reveals that they've never delivered to Knox before. Guessing they don't deliver on Sundays... <-I was just working in the caf, there was no delivery today between noon and 2 <- So they were being extra sneaky.<-- Not too sneaky. I was walking to work at 12:30 and saw the truck unloading. Someone is lyinggg...

2 pm Saturday April 30 -- Helmut spotted on the Gizmo patio talking to a campus security officer. Talking about Flunk Day shenanigans possibly? <-----CONFIRMED!!! I SAW THEM TOOO

That's some ridiculous ass evidence ^ FRESHMEN FRESH MEAT GO AWAY<----Hey as a Senior I love this unreliable Freshman info it's hilarious!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory are playing on ABC Family...This could be huge. <------CONFIRMED!!<--- Please explain how the Planers would have known about this far enough in advance to make it have a significant impact on the date of Flunk Day <----This just so happens to be a coincidence and extremely cool, not saying the Planers knew.

Freshman/Sophmores, make sure the mud pit stays wet, and try to make it resemble, you know, a pit. <--CONFIRMED Hell no. <--CONFIRMED

That pepsi stand thing on the patio is just sitting there.<--Wasn't it used for the music thing's "outdoor picnic" where the music played inside? <---They are just going to leave it there until flunk day...WHICH IS THIS DAY.

drunk <-- infinite confirmation

Saturday night, someone was walking around in a panda suit, carrying a bag from Taco Bell. Clearly, Flunk Day is Monday.

A Knox Student calls the Golf Club for a reservation tomorrow however, the golf club says no as "there is a Knox senior staff party coming in at 12:30 tomorrow"!!!!....this happens every Flunk day!...So trust me its Flunk day try it out yourself!! call them!!!!!!! YAYY!!<---do you really think senior staff wouldn't think of that? they've been doing this for years...I say its a fake out!<----- Do this every year...I know its true...believe it or not your choice! <--They didn't do it last year. <--- Golf Club confirmed a "Knox senior staff party" is coming on Wed... AND Thursday... I think they booked the whole week!<---CONFIRMED!

Sunday, 1 p.m. - food delivery being made at Seymour Loading Dock.

Sunday, 2:40PM - workers in the caf heard saying 'see you on Tuesday', they usually work on monday. HUGE. CONFIRMED.<-- They don't know. They're called the morning of and told not to come in to work if they didn't sign up for Flunk Day shifts. Silly Freshies. <-- the worker who said that probably has an off day tomorrow.

This is the anniversary of Voldemort's defeat. Raise your glasses of Butterbeer, because we be celebrating this day of flunk WIZARD STYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <---I bet Ashley wrote this...she's awesome!!

The Pepsi machine from Lincoln Fest is still out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for Flunk day???

pi phi left a bunch of whippped cream near seymour to kill/poison all the squirrels!!! FOR A SQUIRREL-FREE FLUNK DAY!!! <-- i thought they put Olivia in charge of killing all the squirrels

good thinkin' ladies ;)

Jill Gates seen entering Campus Life Office at 4:40 p.m. Unusual for a Sunday, no? <-- Clearly this person doesn't know Jil... first she only has One L. Second she is ALWAYS working. This proves nothing. keep trying.

Morning wood. This is HUGE!!! <-- CONFIRMED by Jill Gates

Sustainability Task Force has meeting with new President <-- She's commuting from Chicago. <-- CONFIRMED <--omg WHAT A GREAT WAY TO GET THE NEW PRESIDENT ON CAMPUS FOR HER FIRST FLUNK DAY <--Also they hired a speaker from Grinnell (very expensive!). Probably Tuesday <-- DEFINITELY TUESDAY MULTIPLE CONFIRMATIONS

3.33 AM SATURDAY - Two Cafeteria workers outside, smoking. One wearing purple Knox Caf t-shirt. Why at work at 3.30 FRIDAY NIGHT?! Preparing for Flunk Day Food on Monday?!?!

Sam Martone posted on Facebook that he's no longer as sure that Monday is Flunk Day. OBVIOUSLY he was told to reduce spreading rumors so less people know and OBVIOUSLY he wants it to be less suspicious when he DISAPPEARS AFTER MIDNIGHT!

Timmi Schmeling threatened to play trombone outside Gretta Reed's window tomorrow (after Alicia Niles rudely informed him where Gretta lives), when asked if he was messing with her, gave a sly look and said "I don't know, am I?!" So he could just be using trickery, or there's a scare, or it's FLUNK DAY.

Raub/Sellew maintenance worker stops in on Friday to make sure there was enough supplies for the weekend. He usually comes on Monday <---THIS COULD BE HUGE

Caf food sucked at dinner. Probably because they're so busy preparing Flunk Day breakfast.<--Yes, because prepping bagels is so much more difficult than prepping regular caf breakfast.<---Hey there are eggs involved too. Those take some time...

8:04 PM - Gary Coleman's ghost spotted; overheard to have shouted, "Whatchu talkin' 'bout Williston?" before disappearing into the evening mist. 8:05 PM- Britt Anderson WAS in Chapter. Last year Flunk Day was a Monday and she wasn't in Chapter the night before. She also took her time leaving... seemed in no hurry to get anywhere. <--Clearly she wouldn't make the same mistake twice! Britt is not going to give anything away...

8:15 Bats circling Raub obviously in preparation for Flunk Day

8:26 PM Tron cat

8:28 PM God turned out the lights. He's throwing us a surprise party tomorrow!

8:35 PM Cleo seen creeping, obviously, flunk day is tomorrow <--- everyday would be flunk day then.<-- Bitch be crazy.

8:45 PM CFA: Campus safety overheard saying "I hope students don't get drunk tonight thinking that tomorrow will be Flunk Day <- CONFIRMED

Tomorrow will not be flunk day because it is a Monday. Roger Taylor has been noted as saying that Flunk Day will never be on the same day of the week two years in a row. Last year it was Monday <--CONFIRMED <--Yeah, I've heard that before too. I was wondering about that.

There were also many complaints from administration and faculty last year about Flunk Day being held on Monday. It can't be on a Monday again.

"The Entertainer" is heard reverberating across campus... clearly Flunk Day is tomorrow.<--Isn't that the theme song of the ice cream van?

Faculty meeting cancelled on Monday was cancelled because the faculty needed more time to consider a resolution about next year's Freshman Preceptorial. Flunk Day is not the reason.

8:56 PM Sam Martone Facebook post: Tomorrow will not be flunk day. I have changed my mind. I'm not sure if it will Wednesday or Thursday, but definitely not tomorrow.<---Lies, he did not post such a thing. <-- he has deleted his post <--Gah Sam Martone, way to spoil my evening.

9:00 PM Landon Pigg Spotted outside Best Western..again

9:01 PM I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance! Def Flunk Day!!!

9:04 PM I'm drunk

9:05 PM Sam Martone deletes Facebook post. What does this mean? Is trying to trick people into thinking it's Flunk Day tomorrow. <-- he also deleted a status earlier today about it being Flunk Day tomorrow.<--- Curious how many of these posts are Sam Martone talking about himself. <-- When isn't sam martone talking about himself? http://thewikifire.org/index.php?title=Sam_Martone

9:11 PM Was talking to known Flunk Day Planer Martha Baumgarten on facebook when she abruptly said "Well I must be off, vrrooomm" Obviously in the flunk day spirit and/or already drinking.

Ben Reeves says Flunk day will be tomorrow! <---CONFIRMED <<<<-----Ben Reeves is a senior and full of LIES! <---Pythagoras is full of LIES <---Seriously, he's totally wasted. I saw him at Cherry Street at 9:03PM

9:23 PM Students studying abroad have received the Flunk Day confirmation email!!!!!! It's today for us, but it's tomorrow for you! <---CONFIRMED! <---This could be HUGE! But where's the proof? Show us the email! <----contact a student abroad, maybe they'll send it to you <--study abroad students are already too drunk to forward the email! This is ToTaLlY LEGIT! <---CONFIRMED Study abroad friend mysteriously unavailable.... <--- ain't no Flunk Day like a European Flunk Day!!!<----Friend studying abroad forwarded me the email!!<---CONFIRMED! START DRINKING, KNOX!! <--- i got it too! it's similar to the Flunk Day email that alumni receive --> PICTURES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. ----> what are we waiting for? who knows someone who's abroad?! email them!!! <--UNCONFIRMED - Barcelona's Flunk Day is planned independently of ours and theirs was three weeks ago. Josie Dudeck confirmed.

9:33 PM Jack White the all knowing says that flunk day is not tomorrow...trust his ginger ways<---FACT

9:37 PM It has been CONFIRMED that Paul Mills will be staying on campus tommorrow, Flunk Day must be tommorrow <------THIS COULD BE HUGE <-------Double confirmed...THIS IS HUGE. Mills NEVER stays on campus

9:40 Ben Reeves has the Battle Hymn of Flunk Day as his status: Bum bababum bababuuuum! <---THIS IS HUGE!!!!!!!

Osama Bin Laden is dead it has to be flunk day tomorrow <---Obama CONFIRMED!!!!!<-----THIS COULD BE HUGE <--- DOUBLE CONFIRMED FROM ABC NEWS. OSAMA DEAD. LET'S FLUNK SHIT UP. <--party and bullshit.

9:43 PM the omniscient Swami Martone spotted vacuuming the halls of Seymour 3. What does he know that we don't?

So...Obama is giving a late night address but not confirming that he is talking about Bin Laden's death...He's talked about Galesburg before...Might the president be announcing that it's Flunk Day?

We should really be hoping it's not Flunk Day tomorrow. It'll be cold. A quite shitty one. <---don't be a hater <---- It's supposed to get up to 60˚ tomorrow. The warmest it will possibly get is 66˚ on Wednesday. Quitcher Bitchin.<---Besides no Flunk Day is a shitty one unless you make it that way. <--- Also, last year was colder. like 50 degrees. Stop your whining.

Greek Philosophy is canceled tomorrow... of course, it's canceled all week. Week long flunk day? Does Brandon Polite have more info than we know??? --> It's cancelled because students are working on a paper. He cancelled classes a couple days two weeks ago for his other class when they were working on their midterm. --> I'm quite aware of this. But what a clever ploy it would be.

10:09 Sam Martone spotted in a towel tomorrow is flunk day!

10:12 PM At least 2 alumni spotted on campus for the weekend, and they're staying for Monday! Is it Flunk Day? I would bet on it!! <---- There are three! THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--DOUBLE CONFIRMED! One is in my bed!<---TRIPLE CONFIRMED - I think I need to stab my eyes out now!

10:14pm: Bin Laden shot for admitting he leaked the date of Flunk Day. This was huge. <-- CONFIRMED BY OBAMA <-- C'mon now, really? Let the dead rest, no matter who they are. <- Not cool!<---- In all fairness, you'd be shot, too, if you leaked Flunk Day's date. <---It is Flunk Day tomorrow! There! I leaked the date! <--- this is going in a weird direction. Quit while we're ahead? <---Confirmed?,<---- John F Kennedy, John Lennon, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., <----I know who and where you are! I'm coming to get you!!!!<-OK, this is extremely awkward! We should really quit now!<---death! holocaust! torture! pain! suffering!

10:21pm Hall light went out, probably left to get drunk, knowing it was flunk day.

Justin Bieber has been spotted at Moline airport. Destination? GALESBURG! Flunk Day! <-----CONFIRMED Possible collaboration with Joe Kozak? purple hoodies!<-----DOUBLE CONFIRMED! <----- I would die... is he really coming? <- No, by Pollux, NOOOOOO! <----- Even if JBiebs won't be here, JK will be performing "Stuck in the Moment" on gizmo patio.... in his purple hoodie. <------- Looks like everyone will be sick tomorrow.... WITH BIEBER FEVER. <------CONFIRMED/LIKE/LOVE

Confirmed: May 2 is the 13th anniversary of the day Harry Potter defeated Voldemort. Clearly, today is going to honor the occasion with FLUNK. <---Ashley has already informed knox of this. Please, just leave.

OSOMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD... must be Flunk Day <--- CONFIRMED...This Could Be HUGE! <------- idiot it's osama. <---- ding dong the witch is dead! <--- Obama was waiting for Flunk Day to kill him! A Thank you for that honorary degree :D

Jack Moore "going to bed early." FLUNK DAY PREPARATION?

Dalai Lama's May 2 visit to UCLA has been canceled! OMG this could be HUGE!

Helmut caught leaving the caf on camera. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0 <-- Comment edited by flunk day Planers <--I like to roll with Rick

Rup spotted with rubber chicken. Flunk Day http://img651.imageshack.us/i/p1020066r.jpg/ <--It's some APO thing, they just got out of chapter

8th anniversary of Bush's "Mission Accomplished" speech. on the day Osama gets killed. this IS huge.

Bob Dole just wants to hear about Bob Dole: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WK-VmMyjvaw catch my drift?

All of BETA is drinking tonight.... it's Flunk Day!!!!! <-- Wouldn't it be more unusual if they weren't? <--- You got a point. Any chance they get they drink <--- Fuck Beta, they don't know shit. <----then why do people always post beta rumors

Fireworks going off...could be huge. or stupid freshmen. <---- Its most likely stupid freshmen <---- Actually, they were fireworks celebrating Osama being dead.

Space launch canceled for Monday. THIS COULD BE HUGE!

Walking back from The Fat Fish (yeah already drinking) saw what may have been carnival rides pulling out of the parking lot next to broadview. <--Walking to the Fat Fish (gotta get started drinking) saw carnival ride looking trucks headed west on Main. <-- People, you have camera phones, use them.<-- Fuck it I am headed back. . . wanna drink together. I am the short but handsome, sex god. . . wanna fuck? <-- there is a pool table in the back. . . No one ever goes back there ;) <--Sex God, I'm the tall and lanky stallion on the pool table. Waiting.<--The carnival people have to stay a minimum of 25 miles away from Knox campus until 4am. <-- probably a good idea to prevent any carnies from joining sex god and the stallion on the pool table

11:18pm: Founders back door propped by printing paper box. It IS huge.

12:20/11:20central: Class of '09 alums meeting en masse in New York City this week. THIS COULD BE HUGE! Note: class of '09 alums glad to see our old Wikifire Flunk Day memes alive and well. RIP Xavier's 4-foot bong.

11:24pm: Post upperclassmen already VERY drunk as heard from 4 Name.

My RA's boyfriend just drove in from out of town! FLUNK DAY!!!<---- RA's don't know anything

Some of last year's flunk day planners are in town

A few drop out from Knox are back

Chewbacka is shaving her legs

Why is there a dunk tank sitting barricaded by carts in the corner of HyVee's parking lot? <--Pictures? <---- Currently investigating. Will post pictures (or not) soon.

11:43 pm : CONFIRMED: JORDAN BALL SENT A TEXT TO JILL GATES AT 10:16PM TO WHICH SHE NEVER RESPONDED. What could be keeping her so busy, one wonders?<--when does jil every respond to jordan ball..

111;45 Founders in uproar. It'd be too perfect for it to be tomorrow. Thus, Flunk Day isn't Monday. But soon.

Rumors that Britt Anderson can't be found - is this true? Where is Jack MOore? <-- Martha Baumgarten is in her apartment.

Sex God and Stallion sighted slipping out of the Fat Fish.<-- CONFIRMED . . . ALL OF IT IS CONFIRMED THIS IS HUGE <--He is a Stallion after all

11:57pm: Dancing chihuahua interviewed for Flunk Day spokesman position. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7qvtXp2isU&feature=channel_video_title

I'm totally being entertained.

12:03pm: Two cop cars spotted across from ABLE. Do they know something we don't know? <---Toga party discovered at Able<---CONFIRMED

12:09am: chantings of "USA! USA!" and a rendition of the national anthem took place. AMERICA SAYS FLUNK DAY!<---- P-House is celebrating!

12:11am: Tory is cradling a watermelon. IT'S FLUNK DAY!!!

12:14am: Dunk tank in HyVee parking lot confirmed. http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/2310/part1304312738968.jpg <---Confirmed (been there since Saturday)

12:17am: Rafay Khan stopped studying!-- IT HAS TO BE FLUNK DAY!!!<---Rafay Khan is taking a nap after fighting against osama. He told me it was a hard work. <---- Rafay Khan's partying it up the Oompa Loompa way!

Sam Martone is in Founders, pouting cause everyone knows its Flunk Day. Dude you called it! Be Happy :) It's FLunk DAyyyy!!!!

12:22am: Crazy partying in Williston basement. Those kids would never stop studying unless it's FLUNK DAY!! <---- CONFIRMED! they're playin beer pong in the laundry room! <--Is Kathleen down there with them?

Bin Laden dead! <------ CONFIRMED! A SURE SIGN OF FLUNKDAY!

Car alarm goes off outside of Hamblin. FLUNK DAY.

12:42 am: Things are quiet...did they take the friars? Anything happening? Or is it already time to give up? <---- Everybody Call a Senior! <-- CONFIRMED! CERTAIN SENIORS NOT RESPONDING TO TEXT MESSAGES AND CALLS! THIS COULD BE HUGE! <--This could be bedtime <---- My roommate's missing and she's a senior!!! <---- that's not why she left... ;)

12:45am: Need more updates!!! <--Honestly, I have no other excuse to not do homework. I don't care if you make something up as long as it keeps me reloading this page every five minutes. <--- Lights were on in Alumni Hall <-- I gave up on writing this paper when I started refreshing this page every minute or so. Ha. <---- CONFIRMED! I can see them from Founders! <---- It's Willy Wonka's secret Chocolate Factory <---- He's making us our very own personalized Oompa Loompas!

12:48 am: A very trustworthy senior has texted saying "Start drinking. See you in a few hours." VIVA LA FLUNK! <----CONFIRMED!

12:53 am: Anthony Martone mysteriously leaves room after receiving a mysteriously mysterious text about Cinnamon Buns. Cinnamon Buns = Codeword for FLUNK DAY! <-- He's currently in the Rodge Lodge. Eating.

12:51 am: Seniors Jevin Lortie and Dave Kurian were seen watering the mud pit then promptly disappeared THEIR PHONES ARE OFF! <-- Lies

12:57 am: Martha Baumgarten seen running from a wild pack of Velicorupters. They smelled the Flunk on her.<---- This is HUGE!!! Velociraptors = FLUNK DAY

1:04 am: Post 8 window broken, and screen punched out, girls seen fleeing scene screaming USA. Flunk Day is upon us?<-----THIS COULD BE LARGE!!!

1:02 am: Goodnight wikifire, see you in the mudpit at 5:30

1:02 am: ^^^^HOLY SHIT time is going backwards <-- IT MUST BE FLUNK DAY!!!

1:07 am: Founders is packed! everyone's finishing up their assignments because they KNOW it's FLUNK DAY!!!! <--- Who does homework the day before flunk day? <----- The Willy Wonka nerds

1:11 am: Jack Marchese claims to be visiting the mail room within the hour. Jack Marchese making a decision? Fucking FLUNK DAY. <--- CONFIRMED

I can't go to bed...IT MUST BE FLUNK DAY!

1:15 am: Jevin Lortie spotted riding his bike with no pants! FLUNK DAY

1:19am: Heard seniors are meeting up at a strip club <-- There are no good strip clubs anywhere nearby<---Cars were invented for a reason yo. <173.15.69.62 Why does it have to be a "good" strip club? and... how the hell do you know? haha

1:27am: Andy Glass in a panda suit. Flunk??? Also seen Sun-flowering on the roof of alumni hall in said panda suit. <-- He's in cahoots with the Velicorupters

1:31am: There are no paper towels in ANY bathrooms in Seymour. DUH it's FLUNK DAY! <--- how is this a sign of Flunk Day?

1:35am Hooded seniors place table and chairs next to mud pit ------> which is now filled with water! This is it, people!

1:52am: sign posted in mailroom telling students to stay away! <------THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- Did anyone else see this? This would be actual evidence, if you could get a picture or something.<------CONFIRMED. Sign spotted.

You are just super-clever, using the Internet to irritate people like that.

If there is some sort of 'official' activity here, they ought to know that behaving this way only makes people more suspicious. If not, the students doing this need to stop this. It's dumb. <--Agreed. This is serious business. <-------HA. Official activity on the Wikifire.

2:00am: and we're back! what're the updates?!?!

2:05am: Someone deleted the whole post last year also because they knew that it was going to be flunk day... same thing happening now?

2:08am: Lights are on at Loading Dock. Porque?!

2:00am: just saw workers leaving the Gizmo after unlocking it again. <--- Well, doesn't it close at 2? Anyway, the workers wont know for around two more hours, and they'll tell the cooks first <-- The Gizmo workers get to know the night before but why would the Gizmo lights be on? It's not like the Gizmo is open on Flunk Day! <--- Do they actually turn them off ordinarily?

Silly Fresh Meat should be paying more attention to the lights on over the buffet in the Cafe and the lights that are on in the back room section of the kitchen, visible from the Oak Room doors...<--- ppl need to be callin and locatin seniors! only true way to find out if it's flunk day...<--- False. Last year they didn't take the Seniors.

Mail room anybody??? Just snuck down there and there was a sign asking Knox students to not observe mailroom activities on May 2nd. Lights were on.<--- Saw the sign, its probably fake though. Putting up a sign saying not to do something guarantees it's going to be done.

2:30am OMG a bunch of seniors walked out of Founders! it's gotta be FLUNK DAY! <--- CONFIRMED I heard phones go off! <--- Who?!

2:42am: I saw that comment before it was quickly deleted! <--- What comment? <-- It is flunk day - Super Senior

3:02 am: Time to give up then?

3:08am: hmm, i don't know. walking from student lounge i saw lights on in the cafeteria.<----- i thought that they were always on

3:14am: :( no more updates? is today not flunk day? <---- crap, now i have to finish this paper <-- It's quiet. Too quiet. <--calm before the Flunk storm?

3:19 am: Here's a little hope. I was driving around to go get some food because in the case that today is not Flunk Day I have a buttload of reading to do and I saw a truck with a long bed? with long tarps all over it. It was driving down in front of TKE/Beta when I saw it. It was headed in the direction towards GDH... 15 minutes later as I was driving out of Steak N Shake I saw the same truck with the same long bed? and tarps, but going down Henderson towards Target/Sandburg Mall. I'm crossing my fingers. Sorry if this leads to nothing, but it did seem like an odd occurrence. Also, if anyone is watching the Seymour Loading dock, the lights are on and there have been several cars in and out... sp0o0o0o0ky

3:23 am: At teh quick-sams, the black dude was quick to shoot down the notion of today being teh flunks. Sam himself placed a bet on tuesday. Both dudes have been reliable in the past. A++++ would ask again. <--- confirmed. black dude says that today is a no - go. but he would not make eye contact. <---why would they know?

Student Senate lights off at 3:48 am. im thinking monday is off. or on. depending on your pov.

3:57am: Also saw people dropping stuff off at the loading docks. Halmut's lights are on at home also... however they are dim. Campus safety didn't get mad about people running around to find flunk day evidence.

Trucks in/near Galesburg http://i54.tinypic.com/14df13s.jpg http://i56.tinypic.com/2qs7z3m.jpg http://i54.tinypic.com/e00rh2.jpg http://i52.tinypic.com/be6elt.jpg

4:09 AM Good find. It's totes FLUNK DAY.

The truck stop next to Hardee's does not have the tarp truck there.... Pictures taken at different locations, not conclusive evidence for Flunk Day. there is also a carnival near the hardee's just west of that location

4:20. let's flunk. 50/50 chance at this point <--thats not how statistics work...

4:45 Post cleaning staff confirms it's Flunk Day today. They saw food services people coming in. They're never here that early so they asked whether it was Flunk Day. They confirmed.

4:51 On my way to Founders, heard 3 people talking about moving things in the back by Seymour loading docks. However, checked the mail room and saw no conclusive evidence of stuffed mailboxes. Still uncertain?

5:05 SMC facilities say that it's Flunk Day!

5:10 lights seen on in the cafeteria. not a great sign.

5:10 Lights on in mailroom. The day has arrived. Gather your armies. Grab your goblets. Attack!!!! <--- LIGHTS ARE ALWAYS ON DWEEB <-- My diagnosis is retard.

5:20 ohhhh shit Tubercky has been spotted shaving! START FLUNKING PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!

5:23 Britt and Martha seen walking across Hamblin parking lot! <--- CONFIRM THIS. I WILL NOT DRINK TIL CONFIRMED <-CONFIRMED THAT WHEN I SEE BRITT I GET HUGE.

5:30 mailroom lights on and people stuffing boxes

5:30 there's a bunch of people crowded outside in front of hamblin!

Just called campus safety, and they said "uhhhhh check your email, if there is then it is. iuuhhhh just check your email." They are well known to say no when it is not flunk day. Commence getting plastered.--> Confirmed, I just called and they used the same script.

5:44 Seniors in the mudpit! FLUNK DAY!111<-- lies

5:55 AM No email and hotline says 0 Flunk. Suspicious faculty by mud pit. Friars too drunk to make any noise?

5:58 Fac Staff list got an email about Flunk Day mail room procedures. It's FLUNK DAY, BITCHES!!!

Flunk day is over, go to bed.

Confirmed- Best Flunk Day EVER!!!!<-- Not at all. But a good Flunk.

Tuesday, May 3

Gale Scholars are being inducted this day so it is very very unlikely for flunk day to be tuesday. Nobody is going to mess with the Gale Scholars, they are in Jr. High. So unless it is a lie that the Gale Scholars are going to be there, no flunk day.

Kathleen Drake canceled meetings on this day due to "computer training"....<---Kathleen told students about this. The Campus Life office never uses the software anyways.

What, it's not like they've never seen someone shitfaced. And if they haven't, it's an important part of an education. Clearly the Flunk Day Planners are trying to throw us off the scent. May 3rd is Flunk Day!

Further, the Gale House is off-campus on North St. Well away from our muddy carnage. Martha's lies continue.

Don’t listen to this, I know for sure it isn’t this coming tuesday. -> This coming Tuesday is April 25th.

Brad Gregory, custodial manager, heard telling other staff that Wednesday is going to be a big pain in the ass! <-- I work for the janitors and i asked for extra hours for tuesday, they said they don't need anybody. They are completely understaffed!!! Flunk day for sure! <--- I want confirmation on this.

Flunk Day 2008--Thursday Flunk Day 2009--Wednesday Flunk Day 2010--Monday It's time for a Tuesday Flunk Day!

Discount Liquor is out of maddog. Must be Flunk DAY.

Betas and Fijis seen buying alcohol at walmart. Must Be Flunk Day!

James is seen hanging out with the Betas. Must be Flunk Day.

MAIL ROOM ANYBODY??

Wednesday, May 4

APO's Blood Drive is on this day. Last year's Spring drive was on Flunk Day, therefore it must be the 4th! Also, 2009 and 2010 Flunk Days were ON the listed day for this Blood Drive... some girl that was in class of 2010 was flippin' shit on the bus home from the Art Field trip because of it. -->> APO's Blood Drive 2011 has NOT been cancelled and will NOT be rescheduled from the original date of May 4th unless May 4th is Flunk Day.

The Dan Savage event is on this day. Why would Shag bring Dan Savage two years in a row? Someone said if events aren't sent into Student life before like March, they can't be considered to be saved from Flunk day. A. Is this true? B. When was this event scheduled? PLEASE RESPOND!!!! COULD BE HUGE!!! --> Yes, this is true, and I'm pretty sure they decided on bringing in Dan Savage waaaaay after the day for Flunk Day had been picked...-->> They sent out the survey to bring him over SPRING BREAK. How was his schedule free on such short notice?

^this is obviously an elaborate ploy by Gabe Paz to get belligerently drunk with Dan Savage.<---CONFIRMED! <--This could be HUGE!<--CONFIRMED! Just spoke to a very drunk Gabe Paz in the Rog Lodge!

They paid over $10,000 to bring him. Flunk Day is not May 4.--->>Or maybe he's just the evening entertainment.<----- Union Board scheduled Dan Savage wayyyy after flunk day was picked. Reportedly a business club member was upset at something about the Dan Savage event. Apparently this is in the working to be rescheduled...---> FALSE! Roger is the biggest donor to the event today is not flunk day--> Roger doesn't know when Flunk Day is so it doesn't matter! shag would get pissed --->Yeah, it would be unfortunate, but considering Flunk Day was planned before SHAG decided to bring Dan Savage in, it's not like they can do anything about it and it's not the Flunk day planners' faults.--->Roger donated before SHAG picked the date

One of the Lincoln Fest artists said they talked with "inside sources." Thursday was confirmed. They were wearing last years Flunk Day shirt when they told me! This could be HUGE!!!

Thursday, May 5

Everyone's hoping for this day. <-- Confirmed. <-- Double Confirmed.

since flunk day last year was so cold, the Planers might plan it even later to ensure warmth. May 5th is always warm. IT'S SCIENCE.

A Cinco de Mayo Flunk Day? yeah right. YEAH! RIGHT?

El dia de flunk returns!!!!1

CINCO DE DRINK-O! There is nothing real on the calendar. Today is Flunk day. <------ seriously. There is NOTHING on Thursday. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE!

There are a significant number of alums visiting on this day.---> didn't alums show up to last years flunk day? <--alums ALWAYS show up, and sometimes they know loooong before depending on how gossipy the Planers are, get with it!

Jil Gates sent out emails rescheduling all meetings she has today. Misinformation or n00b mistake? You decide. <--- misinformation, obviously<---Or purposeful information given KNOWING we would not believe it?

At Women's Chorale rehearsal, when discussing back-up rehearsal days in case Flunk Day is Thursday (since we rehearse on Thursdays), Flunk Day Planner Martha Baumgarten spoke up, and suggested we move our rehearsal to Friday. A seemingly normal response, except that it came from her, out of everyone in the room. <---CONFIRMED

FLUNK IS MAY 5th! Found out from one of Planers!... Done deal start getting excited knox!<--- LIES, obvious ploy.

It's supposed to thunderstorm Thursday. Wouldn't that be unfortunate! <-- A 1 rental company from Moline confirmed they are setting up a tent Thursday morning- 6am! TODAY is the DAY!!!

Wednesday, May 11

Exit the King opens on this day.

It must be Flunk Day. Instead of a monarchy, we have a democracy; thus, instead of a king we have a president; thus, king = equivalent of president. ROGER TAYLOR IS RETIRING, thus, Exit the King = Exit Roger Taylor; thus, Flunk Day = celebration of Roger Taylor, thus, FLUNK DAY IS TODAY! --> although these connections are powerful and thought-provoking, Flunk day will not be this day. The theatre faculty entered these dates into the calender at the end of last year. Also, no flunking Thursday or Friday. Promise.

There is also a Dining Etiquette Class on this day, and Terrie Saline told me she didn't want it to happen then. -->> OH MAN NOT DINING ETIQUETTE!! -->> i would gladly trade a lifetime of dining etiquette perfection for one flunk day. o the power and the glory.

Always the best content from these prodigious wertirs.

Flunk Day T-Shirts

This is an odd thing this year. Would the planners really be stupid enough to wait to distribute the t-shirts until the day of? I doubt.<--I heard purchased shirts will be stuffed in one's mailbox.

Slam dunkin like Shaquille O'Neal, if he wrote informatvie articles.