Offspring

Offspring shoot from the loins of a female host body after 9 months of incubation and whining.

Side effects of offspring include but are not limited to:

Decreased financial austerity

Increased mess

Drastic decrease in sexual drive

Increase in self-loathing.

Oh yeah, sometimes you get a cute baby, that grows into a rebellious teenager who goes to Knox college, drives their parents crazy, streaks and pees behind trees on flunk day, freebases windex, drinks alcohol and is prone to fornication.

Lucky you.

Possible soloutions: See Planned Parenthood or Jon Bennett Ramsey.