Gavin Crowell

While it is a well-known fact that everyone at Knox adores the college's digital timecard program, eTime, perhaps no one loves it more than Gavin. Gavin and eTime were wed on one fateful Wednesday night. Later, eTime found out that Gavin had been having a secret affair with the Oxford comma and promptly divorced him, but only after crashing several computers and digitally firing a dozen helpless students in its rage.

Someday, Gavin will stop replying to "sports question" with "sports answer."