Editing Offspring

Offspring shoot from the loins of a female host body after 9 months of incubation and whining.

Side effects of offspring include but are not limited to:

Decreased financial austerity
Increased mess
Drastic decrease in sexual drive
Increase in [[self-loathing]]. 

Oh yeah, sometimes you get a cute [[baby]], that grows into a rebellious [[teenager]] who goes to [[Knox college]], drives their [[parents]] crazy, [[streaks]]  and [[pees]] behind trees on [[flunk day]], [[freebases]] windex, drinks [[alcohol]] and is prone to [[fornication]]. 

Lucky you.

Possible soloutions: See [[Planned Parenthood]] or [[Jon Bennett Ramsey]].