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| | '''GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK | | '''GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK |
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| − | FLUNK TRUMPS ALL OTHER SCHOOL-PLANNED EVENTS!!!! | + | FLUNK TRUMPS ALL OTHER SCHOOL-PLANNED EVENTS!!! |
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| − | '''ROGER TAYLOR LINCOLN CARL SANDBURG! OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA! ROMNEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :P''' | + | '''ROGER TAYLOR LINCOLN CARL SANDBURG! OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA!''' |
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| − | == The MudPit == | + | == Italic text == |
| | '' | | '' |
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| − | This year, the school seems to be taking it all a little more seriously - they have dumped sand and mulch onto it. In response, student organization considers the following;
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| − | 1 - We '''understand''' and '''respect''' the obvious safety and cleanliness concerns from the administration.
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| − | 2 - However, this does not justify the ending of a nearly century-old student tradition.
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| − | 3 - Thus, to address the administration's concerns, we, as responsible students, must make sure we a) have and use hoses to get the mud off before we tramp in, b) don't do '''dumb shit''' like jamming mud in keyholes or throwing our friends around and c) clean as much of the mulch out as possible, to make this doable.
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| − | We have talked to the administration - a long-term solution must come. Ideas include;
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| − | - re-planting the pit/switching out some of the salty, infertile soil for good stuff, and planting flowers for the summer.
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| − | - have sober(er) students to watch the pit
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| − | <---If the administration seriously wanted to stop the mud pit from happening, they would be able to pretty easily. The actions they have taken are the minimums needed to satisfy the insurance company, but otherwise, nobody wants to stop the mud pit. CALM DOWN AND DIG.
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| | == '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' == | | == '''Was 2012 The Final Flunk?''' == |
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| | http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/ | | http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/ |
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| − | Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/ <-- Confirmed, Cody Sehl is a computer genius. | + | Sophomore [[Cody Sehl]] has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/ |
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| | The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. | | The Official [[Sam Martone]] Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. |
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| | It was May 1st last year... would they repeat the date? <---- we don't expect them to repeat the date, making this the perfect day!<-------------Flunk Day's are statistically independent events from one another. | | It was May 1st last year... would they repeat the date? <---- we don't expect them to repeat the date, making this the perfect day!<-------------Flunk Day's are statistically independent events from one another. |
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| − | Monday, 3:01 pm: An informant tells me that caf workers have been informed not to bake ahead because Wednesday is FLUNK DAY. No names so they don't get in trouble. <-- Confirmed! An individual who works in the caf also told me that Flunk Day is on Wednesday. In the past, the same worker has told my friends who have worked in the caf also, and they have always been right. Flunk Day is upon us. | + | Monday, 3:01 pm: An informant tells me that caf workers have been informed not to bake ahead because Wednesday is FLUNK DAY. No names so they don't get in trouble. |
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| | THEY ARE FILLING IN THE MUD PIT. | | THEY ARE FILLING IN THE MUD PIT. |
| | I REPEAT, THEY ARE FILLING IN THE MUD PIT WITH SAND AND MULCH! | | I REPEAT, THEY ARE FILLING IN THE MUD PIT WITH SAND AND MULCH! |
| − | WHAT THE FLUNK ARE THEY DOING?!?!?!?!?<--They do that every year. The mud pit is not sanctioned by KNOX. Of course they are going to try and stop students.<--- correct, but why would they do this now unless the Flunk is close enough where students could not reverse the damage. Which is why i think the flunk is soon. How soon? Tomorrow soon. | + | WHAT THE FLUNK ARE THEY DOING?!?!?!?!?<--They do that every year. The mud pit is not sanctioned by KNOX. Of course they are going to try and stop students. |
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| | 11:28 am: Caf lady who took my card at breakfast said "no flunk day today, huh?" and gave me a coy smile. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED FOR WEDNESDAY | | 11:28 am: Caf lady who took my card at breakfast said "no flunk day today, huh?" and gave me a coy smile. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED FOR WEDNESDAY |
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| − | 3:50 P.M. I've gathered a few friends to clear the mudpit at 11:00 tonight. We could really use the help in getting it ready. Meet at the pit at 11 if you want to help! And bring your friends!<---It's a trap!<---Campus Safety posted this its a sting operation they just gonna bust ya'll
| + | == May 2 == |
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| − | 4:13PM "Here lies the Post that never was."
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| − | 4:29 PM: Craig and Debbie Southern seen leaving Deb Southern's office and Old Main in a hurry.
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| − | 5:31pm: everyone knows tomorrow is flunk day. honestly i hope it isnt just because everyone is expecting it. oh well. however, if it is, i'll still be the drunk barefoot person doing all the activities!
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| − | 5:32 PM Japanese professor [[Ryohei Matsuda]] suspects a May 1st Flunk! Matsuda-sensei is never wrong!
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| − | 5:39 PM: Ricky Barbieri finds your lack of faith disturbing. Fix it.
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| − | [[File:http://www.mememaker.net/static/images/memes/1761121.jpg]]
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| − | "WHY IS THERE NO SUB CATEGORY FOR MAY 6TH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? SERIOUSLY NOT EVEN A CATEGORY FOR IT!?!?!?!?! Also, I have no clue how to make such a thing, can someone please do it." I wrote that yesterday and someone created a May 6th. MAY 6TH IS NOW GONE!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL! NOT ONLY IS THAT DAY FLUNK DAY BUT SOMEONE IS TRYING TO LITERALLY MAKE IT NOT EXIST!<------May 6th does not exist! It will never exist. Stop Trying to make MAY 6th a thing. It will never be a thing.
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| − | LET IT BE FLUNK DAY ALREADY
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| − | http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3u6js5/ <---- every first-year RA since the dawn of time!
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| − | If Knox SERIOUSLY doesn't want a mud pit, then they need to stop using students covered in Flunk Day mud in their admissions/PR materials. JUST SAYIN'. Stay strong Conger/Neal! <-- very wise person said this
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| − | The Admissions Ambassador meeting was originally scheduled for this day but was rescheduled for a week later.
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| − | No updates for 3 1/2 hours? C'mon, Flunkers, where's the hype? <---- Rumors of seniors going to Cherry St. tonight. Senior meeting tonight because the regularly scheduled meeting tomorrow will be consumed by Flunk? <-- Senior meeting carries on with or without Flunk, it's a nice off-campus option for seniors after a day of Flunking.
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| − | Tomorrow is Flunk Day. Lets build the HYPE!!!
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| − | 9:08 PM - Feeling flunk vibrations in the loins. Been right every year thus far. My "space needle" as they call it picks up flunk vibrations on a frequency of 501KiloKnox. Boom! Clearly, the flunk is tomorrow. <-- This really could be huge. Or really flaccid.
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| − | 9:16 pm - [[James Wright-Lee]] says it is "clearly" tomorrow.
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| − | 9:32 PM: Sam Auch has planned her flunk day outfit. Flunk day is tomorrow.
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| − | 9:30 PM THERE IS A GOD DAMN RIOT AND/OR OCCUPY MOVEMENT AT THE PIT <-- y'all need Jesus <-- What! What is happening exactly? <------ #OCCUPYMUDPIT2013 <-- they're all standing around the mud pit. taking out the mulch? maybe chanting? idk. and someone said giving up their IDs? to campus safety? something like that. it's a hot mess. <--- because of this unity in times of struggle the Flunk shall soon be upon us <-- Chanting confirmed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWzcCA-kFy8
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| − | 9:46pm Occu-Flunk Day students remove mulch from mud pit with hands because campus safety confiscated shovels
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| − | 10:00PM FLOOP IS A MADMAN, HELP US, SAVE US. <----CONFIRMED <---- RUP IS A MADMAN, HELP US, SAVE US. <----- DOUBLE CONFIRMED
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| − | 10:00PM: This was found outside of the Union Board office tonight (http://tinypic.com/r/nd5vgy/5)<-- Bull. Fucking. Shit
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| − | 10:17 PM Knox unites. Huge gathering at mudpit. I suggest you go check it out. It is beautiful.
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| − | 10:18 PM I am coming down with something. Karma dictates Flunk is tomorrow.
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| − | 10:24 I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING AT THE MUD PIT RIGHT NOW! GO, UNDERCLASSMEN, GO!! KEEP IT UP!! <---CONFIRMED, there is hope for the future after all!<----- http://qkme.me/3u6ojh
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| − | Y'all gonna be ok if tomorrow is not Flunk Day? I'm genuinely concerned. <------ Think we have all begun to make our own flunk day.
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| − | 10:57 THE MUD PIT IS ON FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE<---Seriously? This could be bad.
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| − | 11:11 PM A reliable source reports, "The wheels on the bus go round and round".
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| − | 11:12 PM (Retrospectively). The Flunk Day Gnomes have seen fit to undermine the naysayers in the hopes of keeping Flunk Spirit alive and well.
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| − | Flunk, flunk, flunk flunk. Flunky. Flunk Flunk Flunk Flunk Flunk Flunk. Flunk <----- THIS COULD BE HUGE
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| − | ^ I think the most important part of the article cited above was the mention of TEA CUP RIDES.
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| − | 11:29 PM A group of non-Knox students seen wandering around near the sorority houses. Who are they? Why are they here? <--- they are knox students, they are here because this is knox.
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| − | 11:55 PM Does anyone know what kind of car Kaitlyn drives? Large SUV seen leaving Hamblin parking lot driven by someone who looked eerily like Kaitlyn. <---- dunno her car, but she lives in tompkins, so that could easily have been her
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| − | 12:00AM Awkward salmon two way on a Unicorn. Tomorrow must be flunk day! <----- CONFIRMED
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| − | 12:03 AM. Does anyone know if the food has even arrived? I don't think I've seen that on here, and that's pretty crucial. Also, didn't we catch breeze of who the mystery performer was around this time last year? <---- Rick Astley spotted in the Holiday Inn parking lot! Sorry for the shaky footage, but at least I got something on my phone (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) <--- A poorly disguised Rick Roll to say the least. I'll give it a C for effort.
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| − | 12:15 AM something just heard outside Tompkins about 5:30. Perhaps for friar summons? <--- although that is a known habitat for seniors, it is far to early for such shenanigans.
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| − | less whining about the mud pit and more evidence! Come on people, '''THE TIME IS NIGH'''!!!
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| − | I'm not saying it isn't Flunk day. But it isn't flunk day. <------ Factually false, for any true scholar of the Flunk sciences knows that Flunk day always exists tomorrow until it doesn't, but now is not tomorrow. <----CONFIRMED
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| − | I've heard from student caf workers that the shipment has indeed arrived and that it is being "prepared" as we speak. <----PROOF! WE NEED PROOF! SOMEONE CHECK TO SEE IF THE LIGHTS IN THE CAF ARE ON! <--- Holy shit, they are!<----Caf workers seem like they got it all going on this year, THIS COULD BE HUGE!!! [[File:S9DSt.jpg]]<----CONFIRMED I"M A CAF STUDENT WORKER AND I"VE SEEN THE FOOD IN THE BASEMENT!!! PREPARE EL DIA DE FLUNK!<----Just saying, they could be specifically turning lights on for this. I work in the mailroom and my boss told me that she has told campus safety to turn the lights on downstairs the past couple of nights...
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| − | 12:30AM: Prof. Shroyer leaves SMC way too early....Flunk??
| + | So apparently [[Daniel Beers]] asked [[DrAnna Meier]] (I accept this moniker, Chelsea Embree, you think you can hide, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE) and [[Katie Miller]] to give a presentation in his class on May 2 but then mysteriously asked if they could do it on April 30 instead. Clearly, this was because of Flunk Day. <--- Probably because he moved his midterm to today. <--- Confirmed. He wanted the midterm moved to today. <--- you guys are lame. where is the Spirit of Flunk????<--- Searching for the truth is always in the spirit of Flunk. |
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| − | 12:50 AM - FULL FORCE FLUNK
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| − | 12:52 AM - Advice given "Excited->Flunk Day is tomorrow-> Wake up->not flunk day-> one day closer to flunk day-> excited-> Repeat as needed until Flunk Day." The cosmos would not deliver such words if Flunk Day were not tomorrow.<---CONFIRMED! <-- Truer words never spoken! Flunk Day is CLEARLY tomorrow, as all the days that so far have not been Flunk Day CLEARLY prove!<<----holy shit I'm a cosmos.
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| − | 1:02 AM - a tiny clown car just drove down Academy.<---CONFIRMED, Roger was driving and Teresa was packed in the backseat with Flunk Day Friars!!<---They were pursued by a hoard of velociraptors, followed by Xavier Roman riding an ostrich in the back driving the pack while smoke a bong and screaming, "FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKK" <----UNCONFIRMED ostriches are not indigenous to western Illinois.<---They're an invasive species! Don't you know your environmental science/ecology? <--- ECOLOGY COULD BE HUGE.<---CONFIRMED IT'S EVERYWHERE<----DOUBLE CONFIRMED
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| − | 1:13 AM Goat spotted in Hamblin 009. Must be FLUNK DAY!!<--PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN<---feeling the flunk<--SOMEONE TELL KELSEY CULLUM
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| − | 1:15 AM - The Ghosts of Flunks Passed arose from the dead-ass restored praire and advised all the Flunk Day scrooges, "Get Jiggy with it." <----- Booo!
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| − | 1:18 AM A reliable source reports, "Old MacDonald had a farm." Flunk Day cometh.<---THIS COULD BE HUGE<---ILLINOIS IS FULL OF FARMS. IT IS A SIGN. <--- SIGNS LIKE IN THE MOVIE, SIGNS. WHICH IS ABOUT ALIENS, WHO ARE FROM *SPACE*
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| − | 1:20AM : Justin Steele leaves SMC to go to bed. Could it be the flunk?! O.O
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| − | 1:23 AM Abe Lincoln seen hurrying down South Street trying to conceal suspicious-looking bottle underneath top hat.<---He responds to "Baberaham" if you call out to him.
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| − | 1:26 - YOU GUYS IF ITS FLUNK DAY TOMORROW BUT IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT DOES THAT MEAN FLUNK DAY IS TODAY TOMORROW OR TOMORROW TOMORROW? <-- Flunk Day is always tomorrow. Even on Flunk Day, Flunk Day is tomorrow.
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| − | 1:31 AM - "Nice Bike" heard from Sigma Nu porch. Such calls signal an impending FLUNK.
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| − | ALL THE TIME I JUST FEEL LIKE THIS LITTLE CRAZY DUDE "SPAAAAACEEE" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeKMS62GrTI
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| − | 1:31 AM- Sleep little dumplings, let the day of flunk dance in your dreams. For tomorrow may very well be flunk. The only truth we have is the truth in our gut. Let the gospel of R. Kelly speak to you; and Kells said "My mind's telling me no...but my body, my body is telling me yeah." And thus the following morning the friars awoke the young ones, and all chaos was restored in the flunk kingdom. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAXxkNaRkp8
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| − | 1:41 AM- had dream of flunking on the moon. Must be Flunk Day! Also, lots of Knoxies seen at Duffy's... pre-gaming for the flunk?
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| − | The moon is GORGEOUS. Just like a pre-Flunk Day moon would be...
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| − | 2:09 AM - Wait...Flunk Day theme is space. Flunk Day is a huge disaster. When there are disasters in space (or high altitudes) astronauts say "Mayday mayday!" Today is May 1, otherwise known as May Day, a day of MAY-rry-making! <---This could be HUGE! <--- [http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D67kmFzSh_o UNDENIABLE PROOF!]
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| − | 2:27 I'm so delirious by doing so much homework at this point it has to be Flunk Day... Right?.. RIGHT?
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| − | 3:00 AM - [http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/there-it-goes-the-last-fuck-i-give.gif Its about that time...]
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| − | Is there any current activity on campus??!! Anyone?! :( it's 3.41am! Where's the flunk action!?
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| − | Honestly, I don't care anymore, I have been teased enough. Spring term has been hard enough as it is without a day to catch up on stuff or at least take a break from all this madness. If it isn't today I'm just going to drop out this term, my head is fried and I cant take it anymore. <----It sounds like you need more than a flunk day....:( I really hope you take the time to take care of yourself...your mental well being is more important than an essay/midterms/reading/ect. In the words of Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle, "Treat. Yo. Self!" <3 <---- can I marry you?<---Sorry, I don't believe in getting married for love...only for tax purposes. :P
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| − | 5:29 AM: The sun is rising...is the flunk rising with it?
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| − | 5:37AM: I hate everyone on union board right now. <--- Word. <---- Confirmed.
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| − | 5:43AM: I just heard someone leave from exec....could it have been Andrei?
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| − | 5:47 AM: Campus safety sitting in a gator parked next to the mud pit. Is he preparing for Flunk Day or the riots that will happen if it's not? <-----THIS SERIOUSLY COULD BE HUUUUUUGEEE!!!! <---pics or it's not happening
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| − | 5:50 AM: It is seriously too quite...
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| − | 5:50 Saw Knox photographer strolling outside I-House!!!
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| − | 5:52 AM: An "Ow ow!!!" cat call was heard coming in the direction from the Hamblin parking lot.<--Followed by students running past the Quickie and down Academy. <---I did hear the sound of running footsteps!!!!
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| − | 5:58 AM: FLUNK NOISES!!!!!<---False positive.
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| − | IS THERE ANYTHING GOING ON IN THE QUADS?
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| − | ITS FUCKING FLUNK DAY!!!!!
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| − | == May 6 ==
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| − | This is a Monday in the first full week of May. Statistically speaking, this day is lookin' good.
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| − | it's [[Gabrielle Rajerison]]'s birthday!! she is just sassy enough that the planners might have listened to her assuredly convincing argument that flunk day be today.
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| − | Let's keep it simple. This is Flunk Day.
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| | == May 7 == | | == May 7 == |
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| | Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day | | Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day |
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| − | [[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]]. <--- Not true at all. Liz Carlin Metz has little power. She is just a woman who thinks way too highly of herself and lets everyone around her know it. <--- Your mom is just a woman who thinks way too highly of herself and lets everyone around her know it. She has little power––in bed! <--- Confirmed. <--- guys it's the new play festival not the new play carnival | + | [[Liz Carlin-Metz]], Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this [[New Plays Carnival]]. <--- Not true at all. Liz Carlin Metz has little power. She is just a woman who thinks way too highly of herself and lets everyone around her know it. |
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| | == May 9 == | | == May 9 == |
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| | == May 13 == | | == May 13 == |
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| − | Why is this day even here?
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| − | == June 8 ==
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| − | Graduation Flunk Day!
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| | [[Category: Flunk Day]] | | [[Category: Flunk Day]] |
