Flunk Day 2013

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The MudPit[edit]

This year, the school seems to be taking it all a little more seriously - they have dumped sand and mulch onto it. In response, student organization considers the following;

1 - We understand and respect the obvious safety and cleanliness concerns from the administration.

2 - However, this does not justify the ending of a nearly century-old student tradition.

3 - Thus, to address the administration's concerns, we, as responsible students, must make sure we a) have and use hoses to get the mud off before we tramp in, b) don't do dumb shit like jamming mud in keyholes or throwing our friends around and c) clean as much of the mulch out as possible, to make this doable.

We have talked to the administration - a long-term solution must come. Ideas include;

- re-planting the pit/switching out some of the salty, infertile soil for good stuff, and planting flowers for the summer.

- have sober(er) students to watch the pit

<---If the administration seriously wanted to stop the mud pit from happening, they would be able to pretty easily. The actions they have taken are the minimums needed to satisfy the insurance company, but otherwise, nobody wants to stop the mud pit. CALM DOWN AND DIG.

Was 2012 The Final Flunk?[edit]

October 1, 2012 There was a large ring around the moon. No flunk day. <--- CONFIRMED. That shit was wack.

November 26, 2012 Xavier spotted with his 6-footer bong ("water-pipe" to undergraduates). Last year he was spotted hopping off a train car full of bums, holding his 6-footer, ripping his shirt off, and screaming "FLUUUUNK" so loud he shattered the Gizmo Patio and killed the lower branches on many trees, which explains both the replacement of the patio and the removal of a good amount of beloved foliage. This year, though Xavier is almost forgotten among the younger generations of Knox, he made a glorious comeback by returning today with former President Roger Taylor (also unknown among young Knoxians) in a stretch Cadillac limousine. Reports indicate the limousine "rolled up" to the Seymour loading dock where, bongs in hand and enveloped in smoke, Xavier and Roger emerged, tipped their purple leopard-print hats at Helmut, and simultaneously exclaimed, "FLUNK DIGGETY, MOTHA FLUNKAS," before entering the steam tunnels where they are to remain until the sacred Flunk Day rituals commence.<-----CONFIRMED!!!!

December 19, 2012 A few days before the end of the world, crows were spotted on campus NOT BEING OBNOXIOUS. Ladies and Gentlemen, the final flunk was definitely in 2012.

March 4, 2013 Roof falls off of Neal.

March 5, 2013 Flunk season is fast approaching. Ready your skepticism and flunk day stashes!

March 15, 2013 18-Wheel truck spotted on N Henderson. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW CONFIRMED!!!!

March 27, 2013 John Dooley says flunk day PROBABLY won't be on a friday. Could he be lying to us? <----John Dooley is a KNOWN LIAR <----Regardless, a friday is unlikely.

March 28, 2013 Official Tim Kasser Flunk Day prediction: April 26. The second mention of a Friday this Flunk Day season. This could be huge.

8:04 p.m.: Kaitlyn Duling spotted in Gizmo discussing secrets with Union Board members. Secrets of FLUNK????

March 29, 2013 Went to Master Stirfry. Got a fortune cookie and it said 'Behold! Andrei Papancea might be one of the flunk day planners'. ---> THIS COULD BE HUGE ----> Andrei Papancea went to Vegas for spring break. The Killers are from Vegas. Coincidence? I THINK NOT! ---> Fellow Union Board member Arnold Salgado went to Vegas with Andrei. IT WAS TOTALLY A SECRET FLUNK DAY PLANNING SESSION. ---> Andrei's response to these accusations: "Muahahahaha." Smells fishy...

April 20, 2013 4:204:204:204:204:20LINCOLNFEST4:204:204:204:204:20 The only day in recorded history Knox students were on time to anything.

April 21, 2013 IT'S DEFINITELY TOMORROW, RIGHT? Yeah. Totally.

Flunk Theme 2013[edit]

The Flunk Day Theme of 2013 is SPACE. Fact: Flunk Day will be replaced by Flunk NIGHT.

Space eel.jpg

Flunk Predictions[edit]

Senior Anna Meier has a series on The Knox Student's website to predict flunk day. You can follow that here: http://www.theknoxstudent.com/editors/

Sophomore Cody Sehl has made a thing of beauty: http://isitflunkdayyet.com/ <-- Confirmed, Cody Sehl is a computer genius.

The Official Sam Martone Flunk Day Prediction stands at a bold April 24. "Things are moving fast on the Flunk front, which means the OSMFDP remains April 24." — Sam Martone (@s_martone) April 12, 2013 <---Incorrect once again. Sam Martone has never correctly predicted Flunk Day. He has never even been close. <--- Confirmed. Pretty sad.

April 1[edit]

At approximately 9:47 p.m, Jessica Howard was spotted in a groutfit while going into the Quickie. She may or may not had been struggling to stand up straight and trouble staying clothed. Is she possibly stocking up on booze for Flunk Day tomorrow? CONFIRMED THIS COULD BE HUGE!

April 3[edit]

All Union Board Events are scheduled for a Friday or Saturday. Smooth move giving us no clues from the UB schedule, Planners.

10:11 a.m.: TKS rumored to be making the Flunk Day issue tonight. Flunk Day is tomorrow.

April 8[edit]

First all-nighter of the term. Flunk Day swiftly approaches.

Flunk Day Friar Email sent out- this is the first time in my time here in these glorious lands that they have asked for sign-ups for Friars. Something is fishy.

The Flunk day planners seen together at the caf and immediately after at Post Lobby talking.

Freshman will have had their mandatory Flunk day suite meetings by Thursday of this week.

April 9[edit]

Saw Regina Rosenbruck on the west side of Galesburg walking alone by the sandwich shop on Main. Flunk Day is confirmed tomorrow. And its being catered cause caf food tastes like the inside of a pigs asshole.

The caf got large shipments of frozen cookies over the weekend, including seven extra boxes of the same flavor. Possibly preparing for Flunk?

April 11[edit]

T-shirt email sent out. Today is not flunk day, but tomorrow IS.

Andrei Papancea seen in a mirror at The Landmark. Shenanigans.

April 14[edit]

10:34pm - Hodor confirmed as musical act. I hope he plays "Hodor", it's a classic.

April 15[edit]

Regina and Kaitlyn were seen buying their flunk day stashes this weekend, FLUNK DAY IS THIS WEEK! ^that wasn't Kaitlyn's Flunk day stash- that was her weekend stash.

First day selling Flunk Day shirts!

5:27pm - Monday is Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED!

5:55pm - Prayer to the Flunk Gods of El Dia De FLUNK:

"Oh gods of the ether, gods of the Flunk Bring us this day our daily dunk of righteous catharsis and nightmarish rhymes so that we remember these drunk, dirty times."

6:07pm - I got the Walmart card from Cindy for an event this weekend, but she never said it was due on Monday. SHE ALWAYS SAYS. IT CANNOT BE DUE ON MONDAY BECAUSE CINDY IS GOING TO BE FLUNKING HER DAY AWAY!

6:40 looking at the weather forecast for the next 10 days... tomorrow? Only a 20% chance of rain and 60 degrees. Sounds like Flunking Weather.

7:05 PM. My friend works in the caf, and he overheard two ladies talking about tomorrow's schedule and how they need to fill an early shift tomorrow. The kitchen manager lady was nominated, but she said "There's no way I am going to come in THAT early tomorrow. It's way to early and Helmut can get someone from the Gizmo or something..." She obviously knows that Flunk Day is tomorrow and doesn't see the need to come in when it's FLUNK DAY. <------ also, there seem to be a lot of extra buns. ... and cookies!

7:27pm: Lincoln Fest is next Saturday. . . isn't Flunk Day usually within a week of that? <- And Earth Month events are primarily the following week, so early this week seems golden.

7:54 p.m: Any status on the mud pit and/or planners?? <-- Where are our trusty seniors!? Homework or Hogracing?

8:12pm: SPIES


8:41p. Crazysheep.jpg

Flunk day is not today

But we did read this in an email from Deb Southern:

"The clock is ticking . . . let’s make sure that we work together to ensure that future generations of Knox students will have the opportunity to experience Flunk Day."

SAFETY EMAIL SENT OUT. The season of Flunk is upon us.

10:48 p.m: A mysteriously large vehicle drove past the quads twice, shining its luminescent headlights across the buildings. SUSPICIOUS!

April 16[edit]

Dear Conger/Neal, WHY IS THERE NO FUCKING MUD PIT YET?!?! Flunk day is just around the corner and there is no progress. Step it up quads! Plus, the fact that it might rain again will make the digging easier and more fun.

The famous Art Department Field Trip to Chicago that was scheduled for April 16 was mysteriously canceled on account of too few people signing up... riiiight...


3:30 p.m: The Axis Dance Company workshops that were supposed to take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have been cancelled! Obviously Flunk day is Thursday! I mean, how many emails did YOU receive about signing up for it, and now its suddenly canceled!

11:35pm: Suspicious yelling outside the Yellows. Seniors know all. Flunk Day is tomorrow.

April 17[edit]

It's a Wednesday. Suspicious.

Heavy rains are forecasted today; along with perfect conditions for Mud Pit Digging. GET ON IT CONGER/NEAL! ASSEMBLE THE SHOVELS! NEAL 1. MAKE THE FUCKING MUDPIT. I'm talking to you, Mickey, Jodi, Stephanie, Ella, Katie, Britney, Becky and Savannah. Oh And Angie, it would help if you would MOTIVATE your residents, to do THEIR FUCKING JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^^^ who the fuck is Savannah?! #unansweredquestions #theflunkisuponus

THE MUD PIT DIGGING HAS COMMENCED! Flunk day screamers, start your engines!! <--- CONFIRMED!! The storm gods know its flunk season!

April 19[edit]

Flunk Day did - once - occur on a Friday. Tony Gant reported having extremely hungover, severely sunburnt students the following Monday.

Could 2013 be the year of FridayFlunk?

Weather forecast calls for snow. Flunking in the snow? Sounds worse than last year in the rain..

It's an Admitted Students day so it can't be today.



THIS MUST NEVER DIE Twas the night before Flunk Day, when all throughout Knox Not a creature was sleeping, not even the Fox. The Wiki and Facebook both opened with care, In the hopes that Flunk Day news would soon be there.

The friars were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of mud pits danced in their heads. And Roommate with booze, and I with my stash, Were all buckled in for the crazy ol’ bash.

When out in the Quads there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew in a flash, Where someone there shouted, “Get off of your ass!”

The sun on the top of newly-made mud Gave excitement and awe to first years and their buds. When, what to my wandering eyes should appear, But a big group of seniors, with a whole lot of cheer!

With a check of my inbox, to see what they say, I knew in a moment it must be Flunk Day! More rapid than eagles, the friars they came, They whistled and shouted, and called out by name:

“Now Conger! Now Neal! Now Elder and Four Name! Oh, Post! On, Furrow! Sherwin, don’t dare be lame! To the pit filled with mud! To the lawn of Old Main! Now drink away! Drink away! Let’s all go insane!!!”

April 22[edit]

Meatless Monday. Meatless Flunk Day? <--- False. Meatless Monday is a confirmed Earth month event. <--- Helmut is distracting us from the truth. The only way he would agree to such a dramatic change in his schedule is if he knew it wouldn't actually happen. #FlunktheEarthDay.

Kaitlyn Duling gets a glimmer of fear in her eyes every time someone mentions Meatless Monday. <----SUSPICIOUS.

Craig Southern spotted on campus several times this weekend.... making sure everything goes well for a Monday Flunk Day?

Upper Classmen seen at Hyvee buying their Flunk Day stash!--->CONFIRMED!

Good weather predicted. No athletic events. Seniors have made all necessary flunk day stash procurements.

SPOTTED: Regina and Craig Southern at the Landmark. Making final preparations undoubtedly. ---> WHAT TIME?!-> 8:30!

One of my senior housemates just disappeared and can't be reached. This is unusual. Friar?

Wouldn't a meatless Flunk Day be SO KNOX? Is there even meat in space? <--- Only freeze dried. If they want it to truly be Space Flunk, there will be no meat. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE

8:31pm: Craig Southern spotted in Gizmo, paused in line, and exited. Last minute Flunk Day planning?

10:17pm >>>>Confirmed reports cite seeing Craig Southern on the telephone in his office around 10:00pm. >>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <<<NOPE! Interviewing campus life position


10:20 Who has tabs on Regina and Kaitlyn? COULD FLUNK DAY BE TOMORROW?!

10:29 Lights on in the mailroom! Someone keep watch!

Matthew Becker, one of last years friars, was on campus this weekend. Supposed to be leaving Monday. Why not Sunday? Something's Flunky!

Three students in Tompkins were just informed by Kathleen Drake that tomorrow is el Dia de Flunk! Should we start drinking now??

10:45 Kaitlyn's cover photo has turned to Flunk.

10:57PM: Andrei Papancea looks unusually chipper doing his homework tonight... Sign of Flunk Day in the air?

11:03 Three Seniors seen with booze and air horns. Are they Friars? >>>>>>THIS COULD BE HUGE<<<<<<<

11:12 Strange animal noises coming from Tompkins. Tomorrow is Flunk <<<<< CONFIRMED.

11:14 Senate president Mike Gasparro changed his profile pic to FLUNKING with Senior class president Justin Steele in it!!! Coincidence? I think not!!!! he has to know <<- THIS COULD BE HUGE!! >>>>>CONFIRMED<<<<<<

11:20 Bethany Marinier leaves the townhouses suspiciously, refuses to answer questions as to where she's going <<< Confirmed!

11:24 Jil Gates, former Master of Fun and Flunk Goddess changed her cover photo to a picture from Flunk Day 2011. She definitely knows that tomorrow's the Flunk.<--- SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE! <--- You think the planners wouldn't invite her to Flunk with us?!!?!? THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!

11:27pm There are barely any people in the library.....the flunk is all around us. <<<-CONFIRMED

It has be said that the flunk shipment arrived friday, they can't it for too long. Flunk day is tomorrow. <---- Shipment could also have been for the Lincolnfest picnic. The caf gets shipments every single day. Doesn't mean anything.

The old flunk day twitter is in denial. Why so eager to say there's no flunk? Suspicious. <<<- CONFIRMED

No one thinks it's Flunk Day tomorrow.....ergo, Flunk Day is tomorrow! <------ CONFIRMED <----------- Flunk while no one is looking, stay vigilant Knox

11:30 pm Bethany Mariner and Andrei Papancea are spotted hurrying into the Gizmo. Flunk is afoot...

11:45 I see a new Flunk Day Song. Found from a status on Facebook: I believe I can flunk. I believe I can flunk this year! I think about it every night and day. Pour a drink and flunk away! I believe I can flunk!!!! I see me running through Old Main's lawn. I believe I can flunk :-)

11:57pm: Matt J has a court date at 10:30 on April 22nd, it's totally Flunk Day. <-- I don't know if this is CONFIRMED but either way THIS IS HUGE. <--- CONFIRMED, I got pulled over with him in Peoria, they thought we were running drugs back to Galesburg, but in reality we had gone to Culver's and cashed his paycheck.

11:59p.m: Regina Rosenbrock spotted sealing her eyes shut with neon puffy paint. Flunk? <-- Why would you seal your eyes with puffy paint if the greatest day of the year is coming up? Should be lining them and making them stay open! For all the Flunking!

12:03am: Renowned former Knox attendee, Alicia Niles seriously considers buying a 7am train ticket as Flunksurance, THIS COULD BE HUGE <-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUFT35S7Jb4

12:31 AM: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS <--- When the Dark Lords of Flunk evoke the ghost of Lincoln, times are desperate.<-- You guys keep this up, and Lincoln's ghost will come down and destroy Flunk Day. Don't provoke the 16th President. <-- "If you're a racist I will attack you with the North." - Abraham Lincoln - Michael Scott

1:56 AM: Kaity HutchCroft posted a picture of people digging the mudpit on Instagram!!!! Possibilities of flunk?

April 23[edit]

4:32 PM: Andrei has purchased an air horn. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <--- CONFIRMED

5:47 PM: .......it begins.......

6:30 PM: Andrei Papancea spotted at Walmart looking at what seems to be a large, glass vessel... This could be huge. Vessel.png

10:26 PM: Nice little four hour break for a pre Flunk Day posting session. Way to go WikiFire. <-- I don't know whether to be suspicious or disappointed.

11:30 PM: Flunk day must be tomorrow because it is the only day I have classes. Also, Andrei was not at chapter the other day. He was probably out coordinating things last minute...

Alumni friend messaged and said she heard it was this day....


Suspicious Facebook event for Alumni Flunk Day today and Wednesday? Hmm... <------- Those are never relevant to the actual flunk day, get with it!

1:06 AM: LOUD NOISES HEARD NEAR THE SOCCER FIELD. PROBABLY SOME FORM OF TRAIN. <----- Thank you. For real. This brought a smile to face that needed it. Flunk on, my friends, flunk until the Earth stops spinning.

1:48 AM: Goldie said he didn't see any unusual people buying unusually large quantities of alcohol. He thinks it's too early for Flunk Day. But the Soviets thought it was too early to put a person on the moon in '69 and we gave the doubters some permanent footprints and a perpetually mid-wave flag on the lunar surface. SPACE FLUNK. <---- No one buys Flunk Day stashes from the Quickie!

April 24[edit]

Kathy in the caf said that she hasn't started preparing the Flunk Day baked goods yet, and she usually starts a few days before Flunk. Her guess is that Flunk Day will be sometime next week.

Josh Hosmer-Quint asked Kaitlin Duling if Flunk Day is gonna be this upcoming Wednesday. She winked at him. Seems legit. <--- NOT LEGIT. NOT CONFIRMED. Just because she winked at him DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GONNA BE FLUNK DAY. <--- Yeah! Kaitlyn Duling winks at everybody. REAL NICE PREDICTION YOU HAVE THERE. <--- I so agree with you. I wish people would stop posting jokes on the WikiFire. I actually want to know when Flunk Day is going to be. <--- Confirmed. Some people are serious students and actually need to know for their planning. <--- I KNOWWWW. <--- Yeah, people seriously need to stop trolling. <---but the WikiFire is troll central. It's part of the fun. DO YOU EVEN GO HERE <--- Look, referencing The Breakfast Club doesn't make you look smarter. Editing The Wiki Fire doesn't make you more clever. And trolling me definitely isn't gonna stop me from beating you. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. <--- Well that escalated quickly. <--- not really... <--- Ain't nobody got time this. <--- People don't even bother proofreading thier comments. < haha what about your comment that's ironic <--- CONFIRMED LOLOLOL <--- I just wish people would treat each other respect. <--- Yeah, and taking the WikiFire and especially the Flunk Day page seriously instead of just making jokes on it. <--- THANK YOU.

^^^FOR THE SAKE OF THE ABOVE, LET IT BE FLUNK ON THIS DAY. Have you people lost the spirit entirely? Or are you first years who know no better? Flunk Day is not about planning. Flunk Day is not about being a serious student. Why else would they put FLUNK in the title? FLUNK your planners, FLUNK your regular lives, FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK. THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--CONFIRMED. <--- can we all stop replacing "fuck" for "flunk?" it makes us all sound like Christian Bible Camp team leaders or something. Would you actually say "Flunk you" out loud trying to be funny? my guess is no... <---"flunk you" in response to this. <-- SERIOUSLY? Who are you people? FLUNK DAY IS THE GREATEST OF DAYS. Stop the negativity and FLUNK

Stop posting this stuff!!! No one cares they will cancel whatever! THE FLUNK is more IMPORTANT. Go home Freshman you're DRUNK and you don't know anything. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(see schedules below) Its not gonna be flunk day. 1) its midterms 2) the food isn't here 3) in April 29th. All Day 2013 Davenport Fiction Contest: Submissions Room 302, Old Main
All Day 2013 Davenport Poetry Contest Submissions Room 302, Old Main
All Day Nominate an Outstanding Senior Knox Campus
All Day Senior Art Shows Gallery, CFA & The Box
12:00 PM Writer's Block Center for Teaching and Learning
12:00 PM Flunk Day 2013 T-Shirts Gallery, Seymour Union
1:00 PM Baseball - Robert Morris - Springfield (DH) Galesburg, IL
3:00 PM Softball - Eureka College (DH) Galesburg, IL
3:00 PM Men's Tennis - Coe College Galesburg, IL
4:00 PM Earth Month Meditation South Lawn, Old Main
5:30 PM Zazen Buddhist Meditation Practice Cell Block, Old Jail
6:00 PM Bike Repair Basics Knox Bike Shop
7:00 PM Red Room Tutoring Red Room, Seymour Library
8:00 PM Practical Self-Defense with Martial Arts Club Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym
8:00 PM Knox Community Garden Club Gizmo
8:30 PM Harambee Club Meeting Ferris Lounge, Seymour Union
9:00 PM Step Knox Mirror Room, Auxiliary Gym
BUT ACTUALLY: 5am-midnight= FLUNK DAY. Meetings don't matter, clubs don't matter, sports don't matter (in 2010 the golf team got their phones taken away and were informed it was Flunk Day during an away tournament). DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP. No one is better at trolling than the Flunk Day planners. <--Confirmed

`What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.

`Nothing,' said Alice.

`Nothing whatever?' persisted the King.

`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.

`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: `Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.

`Unimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word sounded best.

April 23rd- Kaitlyn looks outside worried and says she hopes it stops raining. ....maybe because she wants perfect weather for Flunk Day tomorrow?

Driving on the interstate and spotted a replica NASA shuttle launch pad ride thing. This is clearly space themed thus flunk day related. Will check Holiday Inn parking lot and update later if more info. <---- off 74? Where? THIS COULD BE HUGE I WILL PERSONALLY CHECK ON THIS IF I CAN GET MORE INFO THANKS!

Velociraptors seen running around wearing space helmets with Flunk written on them. Flunk day is tomorrow!!! <-- CONFIRMED <-- Jesus we're back on this shit about Velociraptors? Shit was funny two years ago. <--well someone's clearly lost the Flunk spirit, but no matter [1]<-- Obviously the Velociraptor sightings are bullshit since they died out with the Final Flunk. What you actually saw were Miniature Giant Space Chickens from the planet Acheron. THE FLUNK IS ON!<-- its not quite that easy to kill a velociraptor<--Of course, you must be velociraptor to know that and survived by learning how to use technology.

7:43pm overheard caf workers complaining about late night food prep for tomorrow's "big event" <-- THIS!!

I haven't bought my stash yet! SOMEONE TAKE ME TO DISCOUNT I'M SCARED!!

Senior John Cusimano spotted drunk already?! This could be huge!!-->Confirmed->> DOUBLE CONFIRMED LET'S ALL DRINK <-- John said his 'source' told him today will be Flunk Day <-its because he went out with liz woodyard and alums

9:33 pm Jmaw Moses, president elect of the Knox College Choir, and leader extraordinaire in Sigma Chi told me that one of his brothers instrumental in planning Flunk Day said tomorrow is the best possibility.

9:45 PM - The Quickie doors are locked. THIS COULD BE HUGE (or not, some things are just normal-sized)<== Goldie has to go to the bathroom like the rest of us. No panic necessary. 9:50 PM - The Quickie reopened after a very short time (4 minutes 24 seconds, maybe?). Goldie says there's a sale on fifths of Jose Cuervo, and told me "it could be tomorrow," and "tomorrow is the best day" when I checked out. 9:56pm: HyVee Wine and Spirits workers report a large influx of Knox students tonight. COULD IT BE?? <== CONFIRMED.

10:00PM- Schedule says Men's Tennis is playing Coe College; Coe's schedule says they are playing Wartburg.. Wartburg says they are playing Coe at home. HMMMMM?!

10:04 PM- Seniors seen whispering in hallway in Hamblin. Do friars know who they are yet? Will they not know until Flunk Day? CAN ANYONE CONFIRM OR DENY THESE CLAIMS? <--- They told us we won't know til the morning of.

10:07 PM Craig Southern seen dashing out of Campus Life office, papers in hand. Making way to Old Main in a hurry. <------ THIS COULD BE HUGE!!

Has anyone checked the mailroom recently?? They may slip up like they did a couple years ago! <<<---- There's glass doors this year, someone should stake out and wait...

10:22 CONFRIMED!!! John Cusimano, Liz Woodyard and Alums (mysteriously visiting) running through the halls of hamblin clearly DRUNK WITH FLUNK DAY SHIRTS ON!!!! it's flunk day motherflunkers!!!! <-Chis Johnson visiting isn't mysterious <- yes it is <- no it isn't

10:23 Ghost of Flunk Day Past to tell you it is FLUNK DAY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE <---CONFIRMED!!! I'm glad someone else remembers this!

10:23 PM- Walter Palmer reports that tennis is still playing Coe at home because Coe is splitting their squad. In a related story, he also tells his incredibly loud neighbor to "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!"---> if the match was scheduled after they picked the Flunk day date, then it will be cancelled. THe FLunk stops for nothing!

Walmart is out of Flunk jugs! The seniors know somethinggggggg! Also, now I have nothing to flunk out of... <--- Walmart ran out weeks ago. You must be a first year...

10:31 FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!! faculty just got an e-mail

10:41 PM: Goldie predicts that it will rain beer tomorrow! THIS COULD BE HUGE

LIL B SAYS IT'S FLUNK DAY BITCHESSSSSSSS [[File:<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5FYXbXu45AQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>]]

Spotted: Potential friars at Duffy's. Regina Rosenbrock--known Flunk Day planner--declined the offer...she vaguely speaks of having "things to do..." Suspicious?


Has anyone else realized all the dates are off right now? Today's the 23rd...<-- DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORKS <-- Confirmed <---FRESHMEN!!! haha you write things on the date you think it is going to be. <--- Incorrect. Look at past years. You write on the day that it IS, like a timeline...<<<<YOU DO FUCKING BOTH.....<=yeah, if you have info for a specific day you post there, or if you're logging events that took place today you do it here.

10:53: Bethany Mariner re-sends flunk day work reschedules to Union Board workers!!<--CONFIRMED <--Has anyone seen her!?

10:58pm:Senior Abe Eastman and friend of Regina seen leaving Post

THE Matt Gordon SAYS tomorrow is FLUNK DAY. THIS IS HUGE

THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. I REPEAT, THE RA EMAIL IS REAL. START DRINKING NOW <--- CONFIRMED!! <--- Pictures required for us plebeians that aren't RA's <--- take a screenshot! then TAKE A SHOT! <-- The RAs don't get previous knowledge of Flunk Day. Source: I'm an RA <--maybe they just don't like you and you're a bad ra? <-- Maybe we don't get to know because we're like every other student and want to have the blissful surprise of the Flunk Day fairies dancing in our dreams! <-- Why am I not in this secret society of RA's, I'm cool guys. <-- We're RAs. Probably meaning we're not "that" terribly cool.

STUDENTS ABROAD GOT THE EMAIL. <- CONFIRMED I wish I was on campus. Have fun everyone! <---------- forrealdoe?

Sources (the flunk day advisor) have confirmed that she had to go to a meeting for flunk day planning and flunk day is NOT the 24th!<--obviously a trick. Why would the flunk day advisor tell any student when Flunk day is?? <-- Jil Gates is gone! LIES! <-- There is NO LYING ON THE WIKIFIRE!<----CONFIRMED!


Saw Regina walking in UB OFFICE!<-- CONFIRMED! I saw her too! Has anyone seen the other 3??

11:25- Helmet seen carrying crates full of hot dog and hamburger buns through the loading dock of the caf <<<< CONFIRMED <<<<<<<< THIS IS HUGE<<<<<<PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN ... wait i totally saw hime when he stopped at the intersection of south and west to let me cross. AAHHHHHAHHAHAHAIfhsoH+OIHSFHSDF!!! its really flunk day! <--- Helmut has a tiny car, I remain unconvinced.

11:47 Just saw a bouncy castle in a pick up truck in Walmart parking lot! <---Pics or it didn't happen. <--- Pretty sure it didn't happen. It's 1 AM exactly and I just returned from Walmart. There was one suspicious semi, unmarked. No apparent bouncy materials though.

11:55 Regina and Bethany have both liked a Knox Compliments status within the last 15 minutes. They are on Facebook. <---Holy shit, I'M ON FACEBOOK TOO, FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!!

11:57 seniors spotted at the mud pit

11:59 NASA has received dozens of reports of UFOs traveling over the Galesburg area, put on your space hats and start drinking!<---You're not funny. Please leave.<--Feel the Flunk.

12:00 AM [2] Flunk Day kittehs confirm... its time to get drunk!

Deleting my comments about the RA email? Flunk Day for sure tomorrow. Good game, everyone.<--gg wp <--- somebody also deleted my comment about bongs and beer. FLUNK FASCISTS <-- Bongs having its own page makes me happy. Much like bongs.

12:20 AM WHERE ARE THE PLANNERS!? AND HAS ANYONE CHECKED THE MAIL ROOM??<=Regina is still MIA from her room, Bethany seen entering longden/Griffith, known residence of Amelia, BFFL and secret flunk day planner <False, Bethany is in her room hyped up on coffee.<--THIS COULD BE HUGE, planning for a late night?

12:24 AM It warms my heart to see the wikifire so tightly packed with enthusiasm, I can't stress this enough. <---CONFIRMED. ME TOO. Feeling the Flunk. <--- If all of these comments were in a bucket and someone tried to pull just one of them out, many comments would end up popping out because of how TIGHTLY PACKED they are...and I can't stress this enough.<=== as tightly packed at Freshmen in the foam pit!


Tennis also has a match scheduled, just forget it. <----- Athletic events have suffered in the past. The FLUNK will stop for nothing!!

CNN reports that Flunk Day is NOT tomorrow, so it is probably tomorrow

Keep the faith Flunk Day trumps all!!



12:46 AM Andrei spotted doing nothing all that interesting. THROWING US OFF THE TRAIL OF FLUNK?????

12:52 AM Could someone help me with my CS homework?

12:54 AM Official Sam Martone Flunk Day prediction CONFIRMED!! <== Andrei confirms via facebook!

12:57 AM Campus Safety Officer in Rodge Lodge said he is excited for Flunk Day but he knows it is not tomorrow. Conclusion: Flunk Day is not tomorrow. <-- [3] <=Campus Safety does not know the date of Flunk day <= CONFIRMED <- campus safety does not know when flunk day is, but it is suspicious<------very much NOT CONFIRMED, CSOs do know the date, as well as GPD, etc.

4:47 AM Caf lights are on; two campus safety officers were seen with a caf worker. Do they come this early to prep breakfast? Is this the flunk?

It was a scare. Go to bed. Do your cs homework.

April 25[edit]

This was the day that was supposed to be Flunk last year. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was a good scare, but everyone ended up walking around looking depressed because it was not Flunk. How clever would it be of the planners to give us the Flunk we've been waiting for?

It cannot be today as the Thursday before the concert is the Symphony move day and Pearl (da boss) has already submitted it to the school as a conflict date. Source: I work for her. <<<What even is this and also who cares

5:24 Still need help with CS

1:08 JPow sent out an email to Econ 110 saying there would be no class tomorrow (4/25) "in celebration of your fine (I hope) performance on today's (4/24) exam." But it's not in celebration of our exams... IT'S IN CELEBRATION OF FLUNK!!!


10:27 Black Sabbath and Justin Bieber play back to back on WVKC. Tomorrow's Flunk Day. <--- CONFIRMED.

I cannot be denied that April 25th is the best date. [[5]] <--- CONFIRMED

Late report, but still potentially significant: Kaitlyn seen frantically texting and/or checking things on her phone before 5th period outside the Alumni Room.

Regina changed her profile picture to Flunking Festivities. Flunk Day is tomorrow

12:37 AM David Gentry spotted in his own flunking room doing homeworks by his apartment mate. flunk day confirmed.

April 26[edit]

Official Tim Kasser prediction.

Admitted students day- Flunk will not be today. Unlikely to be day before because campus will be messed up for the prospies. <--- False. Admitted Students Day is this Friday (the 19th). CHECK YO EVENTS CALENDAR. <---CONFIRMED. April 26 is NOT an Admitted Students day. There are no more of them!

Run-A-Thon- Flunk will not be today.

Plus, Knox is making a big deal of the Earth Month activities for that weekend and they likely don't want the campus all messed up for that. <---Campus has been flunked up for bigger activities. If this day is not Flunk, it will more likely be because it is a Friday.

The State Superintendent of Education is visiting campus today. Not a chance of Flunk. <---Confirmed. The Ed department told all the majors to look presentable in class.

9:18PM its supposed to be 62 degrees and nice tomorrow. flunk day??

9:22 PM no one thinks its flunk day. flunk day confirmed?

What ever happened to no Friday Flunk? Is that not a real argument anymore? <-- possible that the new President doesn't know the No Friday rule + No master of fun this year. Flunk Day planners may have been able to get away with it for once.

Awesome people spotted getting flunk day outfits from the Salvation Army. Flunk is near!

10PM Helmut just now seen leaving the caf!! A little late?

April 29[edit]

The last two Flunk Days were on May 1 and 2. This week seems to be golden. But might it be earlier this year? Or later? <--- the school year goes later this year Flunk Day could be later. <--- Highly likely. <-- But Amott is concerned with the aesthetics of the campus and its marketability, so she may want it earlier to clean up before the late spring and summer round of school visits.

Word is the Baseball Gods and the Flunk Day Gods have been working in cahoots this year. After a long trip to and from Wisconsin on this weekend the combo of Gods have decided that this is the only viable option for Flunk Day. The scripture is written and so it shall be.<--Except for the fact a doubleheader vs. Loras was rescheduled to this day. Not gonna happen.<---AHA but there be hope yet. Loras still lists the Knox doubleheader as cancelled and has no games listed for the 29th. Eisele is trying to trick us but we shall not let him!<---The game has been removed from the events calendar & the baseball schedule. <---According to an email from the Loras Head Coach, the games were never scheduled to be made up due to their conference scheduling. Suspicious...<---Flunk Day is Monday, that is of course unless Coach I desires to play Spoon River again.

There is a professor from California giving a lecture today.<----Flunk Day is more important than California.


In class when asked about picking a date for a movie both Regina and Bethany were both suspiciously busy on this day. When asked why they became shifty and said because of union board. When confronted further they became nervous <-- They are masters of deceit. Also, when the fuck are we gonna hear about who the friars are? Cause I'm tryna get shit balls drunk on chocolate milk.<---Last year's friars did not find out until the morning of Flunk Day & they were asked to sign up.

Rup Sarkar says that today is NOT flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day.<-- Its also like 300 other peoples 4th flunk day. <--CONFIRMED


Let the Monday hype begin.

I hope everyone has his or her stash! I hope everyone has his or her Flunk Day outfit planned. BECAUSE FLUNK DAY IS ON MONDAY. MONDAY FLUNK DAY. MONDAY FLUNK DAY. MONDAY FLUNK DAYYYYY!!!!

I asked Bethany Mariner today if Monday is Flunk Day. She refused to answer the question and immediately walked away. <--She does that for any question about flunk day.

Reasons Flunk Day is tomorrow: 1) The screen from earthday is still out there <--------They don't do weekend pick ups. don't get your hopes up

2) the tent from Cats and Lasers is still there

3) The stage is still there

4) its after Midterms, so there are no academic problems <-LIES. I have 3 midterms this week (monday/tuesday/wednesday), I still hope flunk day is Monday though.

5) The Miami Heat swept the Bucks

6) Abe Eastman thinks its flunk day

7) There have been 2 food deliveries in the past week <---- THIS MEANS NOTHING. There is a food delivery EVERY DAY.

8) the speaker can easily speak the next day (and she's talking about ancient Christian texts, and the professor responsible for bringing her is the Latin professor, and ancient christian texts should be in Aramaic. <-- She is actually talking about why ancient LATIN texts were kept in circulation in the Christian academy despite their obscene nature. Also, ancient Christian texts aren't just in Aramaic-- the entire New Testament was in Ancient Greek. Ugh.<--Latin Vulgate, Greek Septuagint, Fail.<--Agreed Point is Thoroughly wrong. Not to mention classical style of composition and narrative (Paul's letters)and references to the classical tradition through out.Oxford does not publish a Greek Biblical Lexicon for nothing: http://www.amazon.com/Greek-English-Lexicon-Testament-Christian-Literature/dp/0226039331 .

9) ??????????? <--- Get shitfaced

10) Profit?????????

Conclusion? Its time to get ya'll flunk on Mother Fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ran into Craig Southern at the Earth Day event yesterday and he says a Monday Flunk day this year is not likely. Or is it??

1:00 - 2:00 pm: Andrei and Regina spotted carrying boxes out of the Campus Life office. They shadily avoided eye contact with nearby knox students.

3:00 pm: The Shiva blessed Flunk Day at C2E2 today. This is happening boys and girls.

(Moderator Note: File deleted due to size. If this photo is re-added, it will continually be deleted and the user will be blocked.)

3:43 PM Why would Union Board make Flunk Day tomorrow after a huge Union Board event-filled weekend? that doesn't make sense. Flunk Day unlikely.<----- Less clean up days. Just clean it all up at once instead of cleaning this mess up and then Flunk day in a couple of days.

every weekend is "a huge Union Board event-filled weekend." the flunk abides.

4:46 PM Dogs heard barking. Perhaps they smell the flunk approaching?<----- DOGS ARE BARKING! This could be huge!

76 degrees and sunny, the Flunk Gods decree that it be flunk. <<<silly first years, weather doesn't matter!

7:32PM Staff e-mail says to prepare for an "unusually early and exciting" morning. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED! <-- Whoa whoa whoa. Can we get REAL confirmation on this?? <- yeah trying to take a screenshot but my computer is failing, I got the e-mail forwarded from a friendly caf worker, if i can get this to work i also need to block out their name (believe what you want, i don't want to get them in trouble so im blocking it out)

7:35 PM Lane V Sunderland says its Flunk Day. Ergo it must be Flunk Day.

8:04 Does anyone NOT have anything to do that can go sleuthing for clues around town? Can we get some pics of trailers, large trucks, or other mysterious clues that point to Flunk Day? WE NEED TO GET THIS BALL ROLLING. WE MUST FIND THE FLUNK, NOT LET THE FLUNK FIND US.

8:09 Civettini seen drinking with staff at McGillacuddy's. mumbling about his statistical model. <---That is fairly normal. <---- CIVETTINI IS THE TROLLIEST PROFESSOR EVER!!!! Do not Believe his POLITICAL SCIENCE LIES!!!!! <---Andy lives every day like it's Flunk Day <---- I represent that remark. <---don't you mean resent? <---- Confirmed!!!!! First hand source!!!!

8:12 Two alums who work together in Chicago seen on campus. I think the one is engaged to a girl that still goes here? But I saw on facebook that she's not even in town. Insider info?? <-false, this means absolutely nothing. there were alums on campus last week too and one got engaged to a girl thats still here, didn't mean anything about flunk day. Plus, what creepy alum would come back just for flunk day? Grow up already. <- I know about 5 that came back thinking it was flunk day last week, they aren't creepy, they just like excuses to drink with friends that are still here. go home freshmen, you're drunk. <-- freaks. get a job. <- two are self-employed (doing well) and the other three make over $75,000/year (and they just graduated in teh last 2 years), one makes over $100,000, before you judge you should consider whether or not you'll be 1/4 of that successful when you graduate. They were able to visit because they could afford to. YOU grow up.

To the person that posted the gigantic picture. Really? I mean come on. <-seconded

Bethany is ACTUALLY hanging out with bff Amelia. Obviously flunk tomorrow.

8:50 PM - Do shipments of food mean anything? ANYWAY, people should be out and about near the hotels by Target to see if there are any trailers and other big trucks. That is the dead give away. If you're out there, TAKE PICTURES! Be safe, little Prairie Fires.

9:03 PM Velociraptor spotted in Knoxville <-- We should be concerned with UFO's bro <- and HOW exactly do you think they got here? UFOs bro. Velociraptors in UFOs. Flunk day confirmed.

9:06 PM I had a dream that Arthur Pascale was wearing a fez. It MUST be flunk day.

Regina telling seniors they better get their stash if they haven't yet. <<<< PLEASE GOD LET THIS BE TRUE <-- she's screwing with you. Regina will never give any clues. <--confirmed! I WAS THERE. <--- Regina lies even when she tells the truth.

Regina started drinking! <-- pics or it didn't happen Boom! CONFIRMED EVIDENCE.jpg Regina gettin drunk at BDUBS!<<<<Timestamp?? Also, this picture was obviously taken during the day

Joel Estes seen drinking at the bar at Buffalo Wild Wings

There's no way its Flunk Day tomorrow... Debbie Southern set up a meeting with me tomorrow, she obviously wouldn't infer to do it on Monday if it was Flunk Day.<---Who are you and why are you evil? <<<<<<< Debbie likes to play mind games when it comes to Flunk Day. IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piVnArp9ZE0 <--- Truth. Debbie is known to mess with people when it comes to Flunk Day

I had a meeting scheduled with Heather Poppy on Flunk Day last year. It didn't happen. Meetings don't matter. <---CONFIRMED!

9:26PM is anyone checking campus or the mail room? post pictures!<----go and do it yourself! Also just checked target, nothing there. Just the usual Walmart semis at Walmart. Nothing flunkspicios

Vince Rug, class of 2012--works in Chicago, seen on campus. Vince allegedly was last year's Secret Flunk Day Planner, could he have insider information again this year?? <--- Vince is on campus more than most students are. <-- CONFIRMED regardless he knew last year so it would only make sense he'd know again this year. THIS COULD BE HUGE!

Vince Rug and Ben Wetherbee, also class of 2012 and an Admissions Counselor at Knox, spotted at Fat Fish Pub. THIS COULD BE HUGE!

9:51 p.m. Lights seen on in the Office of Communications!!!! <--- this means nothing, that office works all hours.

9:54PM its not flunk day. study for your midterms. <--- What is wrong with you. <-just making sure people pass their damn midterms. worst case scenario people stay up thinking its flunk day when it obviously ISN'T then fail, just a friendly reminder to study because flunk day tomorrow isn't likely

9:55PM [Lyana Sun Han] rolling around her suite in Post, she feels the Flunk in her bones! It's obviously tomorrow!

Campus life has been calling suites around campus saying "to be well rested in case of any unexpected activities tomorrow", Flunk Day yes? <- if this is really happening, it's proof that it ISN'T flunk day tomorrow, they're obviously trolling. on the real flunk day eve they will be silent.<--WHATTTT this happened to us too!! IS IT FLUNK DAY OR WHAT?!!<---Why the fuck would we be silent if we knew it was flunk day tomorrow?

10PM Helmut just now seen leaving the caf!! A little late?

This is Civ's FB status right now

Dance like nobody is watching. Drink like tomorrow's flunk day.

its fucking flunk day

It isn't flunk day. there is a scare planned for tomorrow morning though. don't listen to or feed the trolls. <-- 2009, a scare turned into flunk day. Last year the seniors planned scares and wanted jack to confirm. believe you asshole. BELIEVE <---CONFIRMED! 2011 also had a scare that turned into Flunk Day <--- This could be huge.

10:10 p.m. Stephen Douglas impersonator spotted near Williston. THIS COULD BE HUGE!

10:24 p.m. Nothing suspicious around hotels near Target. Only one large GNC semi in parking lot of Fairfield Inn.


10:28 p.m. I pooped my pants. Soo...flunk day?<<--Depends, was it HUGE?

I'd like to think that Regina and the other planners are smarter than to do those preparations in full sight if they were for The Day. Just saying

SATURN IS SO CLOSE TO ME. FLUNK DAY MUST BE TOMORROW. <---CONFIRMED! What better time to have Space Flunk when one of the most iconic images of space is the closest to us as it can be?

10:31 pm Kaitlyn spotted rushing direction Union Board office looking stressed. <---CONFIRMED! Talked to her, and she was very unwilling to respond to simple greetings <- lies shes sleeping in her room go to sleep. <---- Who sleeps at 10:30 on a Sunday night? <- normal people? go to bed. <---ABSOLUTELY NOT CONFIRMED by her roommate! She claims to be in the library but wasn't there either!!!!

Two trailers spotted in the Holliday inn parking lot <-- Evidence? <- people are ALWAYS staying there, sometimes with trailers, tahts how hotels work.

10:52pm campus safety spotted checking to make sure everything was locked up. not really unusual but maybe checking to ensure no one covered in mud/drunk can get into the buildings??

10:53 PM Michelle Obama spotted preparing for flunk day!! [http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maf7mdFtq81r32taso1_500.gif ]

11:00 pm My phone will not connect to my computer so I can upload pictures of trailers in hotel parking lots. DEFINITELY Flunk Day. <- second one of these. clearly it isn't flunk day and people are trolling. <---Trolling? What does that mean?

11:05pm Not flunk day as confirmed by caf workers (real ones not the student workers) <-- How did you get in contact with a caf worker at 11:00 PM? Also, most of them don't know for sure until they are called in early to work. <---Confirmed! <- not all of us are from far away, I'm friends with two of the caf workers who live in galesburg, they're real people I texted them earlier one just responded, that's how. its not like I magically hunted them down and cornered these people i didn't know who work in the caf and made them tell me whether or not it was flunk day. it isn't flunk day. confirmed. sorry to disappoint. <-- I am aware they are "real people," but that doesn't give them magical knowledge of Flunk Day. Usually they can only gauge within a few days of the Flunk Day because they can see the food supplies, but they don't know the day until they are called in! They could be giving you their best guess, though. Sorry to disappoint. <- it isn't flunk day because they know when flunk day is already (well one does, she's coming in early to help set up), i'm just not telling you when tehy said it was to avoid getting them in trouble. flunk day is NOT tomorrow, so if you have homework PLEASE DO IT!!! it is this week though! <---BOO, YOU STINK. DON'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK. IT'S CALLED FLUNK DAY FOR A REASON!!!!!!!

Not Flunk Day. Seems like this campus needs one more good scare. If not two. Social media networks explodin' real good though. <----It's Flunk Day until proven otherwise by the lack of the email in the morning. <--Confirmed!

11:11 Loud music coming from Tompkins...seniors welcoming el dia de Flunk??

Get in the spirit all of you negative nancy's out there. Instead of trying to find out when Flunk Day isn't help us find out when Flunk Day is <---- CONFIRMED <-- I have never encountered so many Flunk Day killjoys.<--confirmed, and you must have never experienced a flunk day to talk like that!

11:30 My body is ready. <--- CONFIRMED <----DOUBLE CONFIRMED

11:33 Flunk Day is not tomorrow. I also heard from a caf worker. it's wednesday, not tomorrow. i dont care about posting it unlike the other poeple becasue no one will know which caf worker anyway (assuming we heard from teh same one which i doubt) and even then its not a big deal. Flunk day is wednesday. go to sleep.

Nope, in the last 3 years people keep saying the caf workers tell them. And every year they've been wrong KEEP THE FAITH YOU NONBELIEVERS <---- CONFIRMED.

My mom is in town tomorrow. Karma will make it flunk day. Have faith.

11:34 pm: The seniors in the corner of Tompkins are being rowdier than usual on a Sunday <== Yeah! Sundays are the only days those girls ever do any work! Something is up! <== CONFIRMED! They are chillin' right outside my door!

11:37 pm: Alumni email has been sent out. Flunk if you got it. <===8 Sauce?

Henry told me it was Flunk Day tomorrow. And I think he was sober when he told me so that means it has to be FLUNK DAY tomorrow!!!!!


Gee almighty, 1. the caf workers DO NOT know the date 2. even if they do how do you know they're not messing with you

11:48 p.m. Kaitlyn Duling spotted in the library, wearing glasses (she usually doesn't) and looking stressed. Is she trolling or is she studying???

11:50 pm: Does anyone have any ideas what the main event will be for Flunk Day? I haven't heard so much as a peep about it. Last year we knew it'd be a musical guest star, but what about this year? Any insight?

11:55 PM: Now Kaitlyn is in the gizmo!

12:05 AM: Dushawn Darling spotted wearing a green cape and pink booty shorts. This could only mean one thing: FLUNK DAY IS UPON US! <----CONFIRMED!!!

12:06 AM: My mind says no, but my body says yes. <<-- False. The gospel of R. Kelly tells the true quote; "My mind's telling me no...but my body, my body's telling me yeah."


The Mud Pit is inadequate. Who will volunteer as tribute?!

12:15 AM not flunk day, it's wednesday. too many confirmed caf worker sources to be trolling, plus they wouldn't troll they're actually my friends and know I honestly don't care if its tomorrow or not (hoping it was but its whatever). yes, they do actually know, they're staying late tuesday night to help get things together and a few are coming in early, people seem to forget that these people are hired help and they need to know their schedule ahead of time, they can't just get a random call at 3 am saying "lol go figure out a babysitter for your kid and come in immediately, its flunk day!". flunk day wednesday, so stock up! <---- That's exactly what they do to the Gizmo workers. They get a call that morning telling them they have to come in 5 hours before their shift would normally start. Most caf workers don't know the exact date. <-confirmed, my aunt is one of the caf workers, dont tell her I told you if people reading this know who I am/who she is! she made me promise not to say anything, but in case people have work, its definitely wednesday! <---[[7]]<-right its not what people wanted to hear therefore i must be trolling. believe what you want im just trying to pass on ACTUAL information for once, everything on here is "omg there was a truck this one time at walmart!" or "i saw someone on union board doing their job!" or "theres a light on in this building!!". sorry for trying to help, your loss. additionally stock up because its freaking WEDNESDAY. <------------- http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/Atr8iFcc0qQ/mqdefault.jpg <------ Do you not understand what the wikifire is for? Where is your Flunk Day Spirit?!?!?! HAS ANYONE SEEN ABE LINCOLN? <---- getting butthurt at trolling and "fake" information? Do you even wikifire? MORE SPIRIT PEOPLE!! <------- I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. <--- she doesn't even go here! <-------- I just have a lot of feelings...

12:21 AM: Andrei not doing his homework. Probably because HE KNOWS IT'S FLUNK DAY. Or maybe he just finished his homework already. Believe what you will.

12:21 AM Report: Andrei walked out of campus life office, looking nervous.------<< Confirmed!!Shit is real. it's today!!! <-this is such bullshit, im sitting here nothing is going on or has been for the past 90 minutes at least <-- Lowercase writer, as someone going into his fourth Flunk Day, I want to say that you really don't understand the Flunk Day spirit. <---- confirmed.

12:31 I'm calling BS on the made of story of the aunt guy. My grandmother ACTUALLY helps out around the caf and I live with her and she is currently not here... For those who know me and who I am talking about can confirm. She's been helping out this entire weekend for day of service and other events around Knox and they've requested her services this entire week...

Knoxians. Please please pleeeease get in the spirit and try to love each other!! FLUNK DAY!! <----CONFIRMED! Love is really what Flunk Day is about


12:45am: I have a car and I'm really bored. I'm going flunk-huntin'. What are some ideal places or hot spots for supposed trailers, 18wheelers and flunkmobiles to be? Let me know, I will go to as many as I can, and as always, pics or it didn't happen.

Not even an hour ago two of the Gentlemen of P-house were spotted at Wal-Mart picking up water supplies (I think maybe a slip and slide?). When confronted they pointed me towards the alcohol section and said, "Let the Flunk be the Guide." If that isn't a sign of Flunk, then I don't know what is!<--- I won't start drinking unless one of them was Justin Steele.

The Rules of the Flunk:
1. Thou shalt forever proclaim "Tomorrow is Flunk Day" even when thou knowest it to be false
2. Thou shalt encourage thy fellow flunkers in the excitement of the Flunk, not crusheth their dreams
3. Thou shalt make silly and ridiculous proclamations such as "Trains were heard. Tomorrow is Flunk." on the WikiFire
4. Thou shalt love the Flunk scares for they bring about the anticipation of the Flunk
5. Thou shalt never give up hope for Flunk
The breakage of any above rule results in the loss of Flunk Spirit by not only your own unfortunate soul, but by the entire campus. Be a jolly Flunker, friends. Be a jolly Flunker.

THAT GUY/GAL GETS IT! The Flunk will save us all, even the non-believers!! May the Flunk be with you. <---And with you.

It has been postulated that Flunk Day is but a yearly outbreak of campus-wide mass hysteria--that the Day will only Flunk when the Knox population as a whole veers sharply over the edge of sanity into the pit of madness below. Further, it has been postulated that any passerby unaffected by the Flunk Fever's influence would, upon viewing the campus from a distance, see not a jovial celebration but a savage, delirious ritual not unlike the Bacchanalia of old.
Of course, any passerby brave or foolish enough to stare into the heart of that chaos will be inevitably drawn into it; Flunk is seductive and hypnotic and ravenous like the prairie fire its victims are named for. It rarely returns the victims it claims, and when it does they come out fundamentally changed, starved for next year's outbreak as though for air.
The question, then, is this: what happens when the Fever does not break? What happens when a Day of Flunk no longer satisfies these poor, insane, once-human creatures? The commonly accepted theory is that the madness simply continues to swirl, gaining momentum as it spirals toward the event horizon until nothing can escape--not students, not light, not even time--compressing the campus into a point of zero mass and infinite Flunk.
However, some fringe studies have suggested an expansion as the ultimate end. Instead of collapsing in, the fever seeps outward from the source like a toxic cloud, consuming everything in its path.
The first option is grim to be sure, but the second poses a much deeper threat as there is no perceived end to this expansion. The fever will consume until the entire city and then the state and then the country and then, eventually, the world is trapped in an unending Flunk--in short, my friends and colleagues, this could truly be huge.

1:15 AM: As of now, I have not seen any semis, flatbeds, trucks of any sort. I'm not truck expert, but I did not see shit out there. I just drove around Target and Walmart areas. Nothing out of the usual. But I'd say keep your eyes peeled around 4 or 5 AM when shit starts to emerge... It is possible that the school is having the Flunk Day equipment wait over in a nearby town such as Knoxville or Monmouth. Keep your Prairie Spirits. Love you all. <--- Like 8 semis parked in the old Econo Foods parking lot. You have to look in out of the ordinary places! <--- Donde estan las fotos yo?<------Sorry, not to be a killjoy, but that happens every night. It's the one *legal* area in Galesburg for truck drivers to park for extended hours for free. Not saying there couldn't be flunk day trucks there...but there are usually at least 12-15 trucks there a night.

1:22 AM: Just heard a deep maniacal laugh from outside my window. Is this a sign of the Flunk, or should I be scared? <--- Both


1:33 AM: The spirit is willing. I sense flunk on the horizon. I shall slaughter a goat in preparation and prayer.<---That escalated quickly

1:54 AM: Kaitlyn and Regina seen hugging. <---THIS COULD BE HUG [8] <------- Well played, both of you

2:06AM- No KnoxPostSecret?!? Suspicious.

2:43 AM Campus is suspiciously quiet...

2:46 AM: A Prairie Farms milk truck just drove by the quickie, destination unknown.

3:17 AM: A horse just rode by my window. Flunk Day or a hallucination sent by the flunk gods? You be the judge.


4:59AM: Two semi trucks, two smaller trucks, and an RV sighted in the hotels by Target.

10:43 AM: I am posting from the future, many miles away. The flunk is strong and so are the mimosas. WAKE UP MOTHER FLUNKERS

5:47AM: A large ass group of people are in the hamblin parking lot...FLUNK?!?! I JUST HEARD SOMEONE ON A FUCKING MEGAPHONE!!! <---- CONFIRMED from the culinary house <-- A scare was planned by seniors, but nevertheless this could be huge.<---- It sounds too beautiful to be fake!!! <333

6:00 AM: No email, No flunk <-- The e-mail isn't sent out exactly at 6. Has anyone called Campus Safety? <-- not at the mud pit. my dreams are dead

Good Things come to those who wait. And it looks like we're waitin a little while longer. $#!+ (or SHIT) <--- Confirmed hashtag#

6:13 AM: Well...back to writing my paper....)))):

6:22 AM: The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

7:26 AM: At least my professor cancelled class just now. The Flunk Gods are smirking, but not crossing their arms.

10:00 AM: Cindy Wickliff sends mysterious email about aliens and a Plant Flunk telling students to stay on high alert. Is the flunk finally on its way??<----I saw a cop car pull over someone near Seymour last night around 2:30am. Could the "questionable light signals" in the email be referring to sirens? Did something go down last night?

April 30[edit]

This is the official Andy Civettini prediction. <---- Check the edit log. I am Andy Civettini. I'm currently grading and prepping for lectures and discussion tomorrow. I make no prediction. And if I did, I'd always predict that Flunk Day is tomorrow. It's just more fun that way. :) <--- No, I am Andy Civettini. I make no such prediction. <--- No, I'm the real Andy Civettini. <--- will the real andy civettini please stand up? <--- I want people to know the real Andy Civettini. <--- The real Andy Civettini is secretly nice. EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS A LIE. <--- CONFIRMED.

There is a Caxton Club speaker coming from Nevada on this day, but who cares about Nevada? <----NOT ME <--- "Con"firmed (because OCEANS 11)

This is Max Potthoff's birthday. Obviously it is Flunk Day.

Custodial Staff is predicting a late April , Early May Flunk Day! April 30 has to be Flunk Day<---------------This Could Be Huge!!!!!! <-- Certain Caf workers also informed me that they got the Menu for Flunk Day in the second week in April. They said that usually the day happens only a week or two after they receive the menu- placing it around the 4th week in April or April 30th. If its April 30th, its gonna make cinco de mayo the shit that sunday.

Also who's got ideas about the flunk day stash? http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Bottles_of_Canadian_Club_Whisky.JPG <- sorry freshman, THERE IS NO GENERAL "FLUNK DAY STASH", you need to get your OWN stash, there isn't one giant one you get to choose from. nice try though. now go home you're drunk (or obviously not)

Rup Sarkar thinks that today might be flunk day. He knows this. It's his fourth flunk day. <- this means absolutely nothing. its a lot of peoples' fourth flunk day<<-- you know absolutely nothing, Rup knows all. <- Rup knows nothing.

This is the day I want it to be flunk day. Therefore, it will be flunk day. <-- logical fallacy of self importance <- logical fallacy of showing your own importance by telling others they think they are the important ones. post modern meltdown ensues <-- all of my whats

9:23 pm (4/28) Kelton Williams just sent out a back up plan for his class and our test tomorrow just in case it's flunk day!! Professors are starting to get excited too!

10:00 AM: Cindy Wickliff sends mysterious email about aliens and a Plant Flunk telling students to stay on high alert. Is the flunk finally on its way??<----I saw a cop car pull over someone near Seymour last night around 2:30am. Could the "questionable light signals" in the email be referring to sirens? Did something go down last night? <<--When Bethany was asked about it she said she didn't know it was being sent today... <- there was a drug bust in Hamblin

12:03 PM Craig Southern seen with a giant garbage bag containing the Flunk Day TKS, Flunk is near!

12:32PM too many e-mails from staff members about flunk day procedures. Flunk day is tomorrow.

1:50 pm White truck labeled "Independent Courier" pulled into the library parking lot and parked, obstructing traffic.<-----too early in the day... what good would it do if everyone could see and ruin the surprise. No one is that dumb. <--- This was most likely the truck delivering today's I-Share books. They always get delivered around this time.

Scott Sunderland, head athletic trainer and lead medical advisor for Flunkness has made multiple hints at this day being Flunk Day.

3:36 pm: Greek Week events don't start until Thursday. They have always gone Monday-Friday the last 3 years. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED

3:45 pm: John Wilkes Booth impersonator spotted at Steak 'n Shake. Photographic proof: Moderate Note: Image Link does not work. Do Not Repost

3:50 pm: Liz Metz confirms that she has a meeting with Deb Southern today, and therefore it cannot be Flunk day. <--- These fake meetings mean absolutely nothing!!! Nothing I tell you!

5:21 PM stage in front of old main is still there. if flunk day weren't tomorrow they would have taken it down. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED. (before people demand pictures, go see for yourself when you go to dinner. the stage is clearly there.)

5:55 PM: Is that story about the first years in the Quads true? If so, can someone elaborate? <--- What happened? <--- Overdose of carob or figs, softest foods you'll ever find.

This afternoon: Quickie posted special hours for this week/weekend... and Goldie always knows. <-- False, those are the new hours, they are not special in any way. Bars were put up because the quickie will now be closed for about 6 hours every day and they don't want anyone casing the joint while they're away.


6:25 PM: Andrei Papancea was asked whether Flunk Day was tomorrow, and Andrei Papancea smiled. Make of this what you will.

WHY IS THERE NO SUB CATEGORY FOR MAY 6TH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Take a look at the dearth of events on the day: [9]. SERIOUSLY NOT EVEN A CATEGORY FOR IT!?!?!?!?! Also, I have no clue how to make such a thing, can someone please do it.

6:58 PM You're welcome world. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED!!! http://i.imgur.com/YyjQAb9.jpg

6:59 BETHANY SPOTTED ON HER FLUNK DAY STEED!! http://i.imgur.com/LRl7iu5.jpg

7:25 John Schlaf spotted in Dean Southern's office. Dean Southern looking stressed. Why are they still at work? Must be preparing for the big day.

7:30 People buying ear plugs at C-store... Flunk Day tomorrow

8:00 stop constantly refreshing this page and get your homework done. <------------NO!

8:13 PM http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/32436876.jpg

8:17 PM Both water taps left running in Post 9 bathroom--forgetful suitemates, or the ghost of Abraham Lincoln telling us to get our drink on for Flunk? <- WHAT IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/1/17/1358440099509/Daniel-Day-Lewis-008.jpg <----- UPDATE: ABE LINCOLN SEEN SLAYING FLUNK DAY NONBELIEVERS!!!!! THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!! http://www.sourgrapeswinery.com/storage/AbrahamLincolnVampireHunterBACKCOVER.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1333126123161

8:40 PM Brooklyn Nets fans heard cheering Flunk Day while waiting for game to end versus the Bulls tonight. <-------FUCK THE NETS

Alumni Vince Rug (Who was here doing a presentation about his very successful career in some class, he's not just creepishly on campus for flunk day or anything) and finance Katie Wrenn spotted sitting outside next to their kiddie pool this afternoon wearing bathing suits but doing work. Kiddie pool was filled with water. Why weren't they in the pool? Getting all the work done to play hard tomorrow?

I'm not saying that I'm the flunk day planner, but no one has ever seen the flunk day planner and I in the same room together. Just saying. <-- COOL STORY.

8:30 Craig Southern parked his car and then went into Post... stocking up on flunk day mixers from the c store? <-- CONFIRMED.

9:06 Xavier spotted with his four-footer, THIS COULD BE HUGE <---8 You mean Magneto? Or is that the good guy? <--- Oh god, the underclassmen have no idea about Xavier Romano and his four-foot bong<-----8 It's a "water pipe".

9:08 Out of the sky came a ufo that just unleashed a horde of velociraptors with lincoln hats. FLUNK DAY'S TOMORROW!!!!

9:28 Just overheard Andrei yell to others outside of Seymour, "I'm going to get my Flonk Day Stash because its Flonk day tomorrow, Happy Flonk Day!!!"

9:29pm Regina missing from Psychology of Law film. Where could she be?

9:46pm Alum Sarah Johnson spotted on campus talking about celebrating the Holiday of Flunk, this girl likes to party, could it be true?

10:08pm College photographer John Williams seen cleaning all of his memory cards so he can take many photos at tomorrow's Flunk Day. -- John actually has the day off tomorrow <----8 IRRELEVANT. THERE IS NO DAY OFF. ONLY FLUNK.<--- Well, when you think about it Flunk Day is a day off. So yeah there is a day off, it's flunk day. <---8 John will have to work on Flunk Day, even if its his day off <--- SO IT ALL COMES BACK TO THERE IS NO DAY OFF!

10:29 Hannah Basil just mooned Regina Rosenbrock. Flunk!!

10:33 All is quiet <--8 it's quiet in space <--8 The theme for flunk day is Space <--8 Flunk Day is Tomorrow! <--8THIS COULD BE HUGE

10:51 pm So many people out and about. Spring fever or FLUNK FEVER?! Flunk is in the air...

10:55 PM Realize the book I am reading has no print, the pages are blank.<------8 Blindness Hysteria ensues. Clearly we won't see Flunk Day coming.

10:59 PM- First years screaming out FLUNNNNNNNK DAY in the quads. Clearly Wednesday.

If Tuesday and Wednesday are both not Flunk Day that would be three consecutive days of potential flunk missed, is that unprecedented? I mean three days over the course of a two week stretch maybe, but three days in a row, with good weather to boot? I fear for the safety of all those on this campus in that doomsday scenario.<---8 And now there is an official Flunk Day song? Oh boy, if this stagnates for another week we could be in trouble.

11:09PM Knox Fox spotted on campus!Flunkin' Awesome

11:17: Olivia Louko is tipsy...tomorrow MUST be flunk day!!!!

11:15PM Semi without trailer seen driving on South St. Lack of trailer is flunking suspicious.....

11:27PM Mike Youkhana says tomorrow cannot be Flunk Day because he does not yet have his Flunk Day stash. What a doofus!!!

11:28 PM THREE trailers seen in the parking lot of the HOLIDAY INN. I did not take pictures with my not-smart-phone. Keep the faith.

11:30PM Nick Tollman seen sweating profusely in anticipation. Tis be Flunk day. <---- Nick Tollman and Clint Davis seen sweating on each other. Flunk Day prep.

friars are meeting at the east side of the field house at 12:30! <---8 THAT IS TOO EARLY YOU FRESHMAN<---8Seniors are being trolled hard. The texts are real, but the Flunk is still unknown.

11:36 PM: Matt Barry is in the pub office at 11:36 and IT'S NOT WEDNESDAY. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <---8 Matt Barry is a witch. Maybe Matt Barry controls Flunk Day. <---8 or better yet, he controls Andrei, they do live together <---8 THIS COULD BE HUGE <---8 The secrets of Flunk, revealed<---8 Matt Barry is in the pub office because there is FREE PIZZA. That's a good enough reason.

What's with the lack of substantial evidence? Check the mailroom for paper covering the windows! Scout the parking lots around town for suspicious vehicles! We need EVIDENCE before we can confirm the Flunk! <-----8SOMEONE CHECK THE CAF AND SEE IF THE LIGHTS ARE ON!

friars are meeting at the FIELD HOUSE at 12:30! <----8 Someone hide with a camera and try to catch them.


11:52 PM: Clint Davis seen "letting it all hang out" around campus. Flunk Day is absolutely 67% likely to happen tomorrow.

If these rumors are true, Quad residents better get on digging the mud pit!!! Go buy top soil!!! <----- Even if it's not Flunk Day tomorrow, still get on that shit! Are you waiting for aliens to come down and tell you to do it? <---- the mudpit has BEEN dug and looks flunking amazing. I give many props to the Conger/Neal group this year.

Weezer confirmed to be the Flunk Day Performer for the 3rd year in a row.

12:06 Seniors are usually the ones trolling the wikifire. There has been minimal movement here in the last 40 minutes. Thus forth I deduce that they must have more important things to do: like get ready to go to the field house and/or drink. Thus forth, either the seniors are getting super messed with (awesome) or it's flunk day (awesome-er)<---- Or both (awesomest?)

11ish PM 25-30ish year old male seen asking for directions to Old Main between the library and Alumni Hall. About 15 minutes later seen walking toward card parked near Alumni Hall with two other individuals. Scoping out campus before setting up in the morning?

12:11 Mulder and Scully spotted near Old Main <--- I WANT TO BELIEVE (that it is Flunk Day)<----- CONFIRMED <--- who are those people??<---http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Mulder+and+Scully

11:50PM: Andrei Papancea decides to go to bed because he is "sleepy". This never happens. Andrei Papancea never goes to bed before midnight. Andrei Papancea is never sleepy. It's Andrei Papancea for goodness sake.

12:18 a.m.: Where are the seniors. Find them. Find them. <--- You're a senior, you idiot. <--- I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM. <---- CONFIRMED! NOT THE FAINTEST IDEA!

12:18 AM seniors seen walking toward field house...PREPARE TO FLUNK! <--- YOU FOUND THEM!!!! <--- SURE DID I"M DRINKING ALREADY!

12:20 AM Sam Auch has shaved not one but BOTH of her legs! Flunk Day is surely upon us!

12:24 AM some movement in the caf, lights on and stuff...as seen from Seymour 2. <----- PICS B WORDS, PICS!<-----yea you freshman pics!

12:25 AM The trains are real loud, yo. Flunk it on.<---- yo momma real loud yo flunk on!<-----oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooH

Flunk keanu.jpg

12:30 Mail room light was turned on. <---you got a phone, take a picture.<---CONFIRMED I SAW IT MYSELF! <---SEE IT WITH YOUR PHONE!<---i just have a burner man, is just good for street deals

12:40 AM took a great poop, and read it like tea leaves. The signs point to a flunk day. <---CONFIRMED, looked weird as shit


12:53am FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED! Campus safety walking around campus said to "go to sleep you'll probably be getting up pretty early" then smiled and walked off!!!!!! <--- CONFIRMED! saw some campus safety officers walking around and smiling at students while they said "go to sleep you'll probably be getting up pretty early". FLUNK IS HERE! <--- I don't think they'll be telling students that this early. But either way it's FLUNK DAYYYY!!!

12:28 AM Mmm we Knox we Make Music about Flunk Day - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-zzxiTKowo

1:08 AM I am Andrei Papancea and I tell you, people of the WikiFire that today is flunk! It's cool, you can trust me, I'm in charge of this bitch.<---CONFIRMED HE IS!

1:12 AM just returned from Flunk Day scouting. Went to Holiday Inn. Saw 3 trailers and numerous white vans. [10]

Mudders: we need water now, not more grass. <---fast get all the water, mudd and shovels! prepare for flunk! <--- yeah forreal though, we need water - it's already bigger than usual. more importantly, much flunking love to those working out there, keeping it flunky!

1:23 AM Goldie (Quicky Guy) says that flunk day is tomorrow, lots of people bough booze earlier tonight! EL DIA DE FLUNK IS UPON US!<---Confirmed. I bought from him earlier. <--- Double confirmed.

1:25 AM Mysterious bicyclist spotted roaming campus with a camo helmet and attachable beer can. Harbinger of flunk?

1:26 AM Just called Campus Safety to ask if it's Flunk Day...a transcript of the conversation: Me: Is it Flunk Day tomorrow? Safety: What do you think? Me: I think probably, yes. Safety: Well, uh, I couldn't tell you even if I knew. SUSPICIOUS??

1:33 AM some dork in a three piece suit seen getting out of a Dacia Sandero...FLUNK IS HERE!

1:34 AM Confirmed on Senior FB group that there is a scare starting at Hamblin at 5:40 am.<------confirmed i have a facebook and live in hamblin.

1:36 AM If flunk day is not tomorrow i'm estimating it will take about 8 months before the campus will stop complaining about it. They have gone to far, there is no other explanation than to flunk.

1:46 AM: Where are all the trucks?

Photo (4).JPG
Photo (2).JPG  

1:49 AM: Something's going on...

Photo (3).JPG 

1:47 AM Flunk day has to be tuesday. If it's not tuesday, all surprise is lost because everyone will know it WILL, or should be wednesday. Therefore, they would not choose Wednesday as Flunk day. The chance of having it on tuesday OR wednesday provides a sort of element of surprise, because it could be either day. If flunk day is neither tuesday nor wednesday, then it would have to be next week, and again, ruining the surprise, making it obvious that it would be next week (which it's not). However, because we know that flunk day can't be wednesday (If it's not tuesday, all surprise is lost because everyone will know it WILL, or should be wednesday)then flunk day would be expected to be tuesday. And if we expect it to be tuesday, then is it really flunk day? Sorry, I'm really really high right now, is it flunk day yet?<-----That was a Princess Bride-esque thought process there, well done. It must be Flunk!

1:50 AM Found this near the fieldhouse. :) THISCOULDBEHUGE.jpg

1:51 AM Ben Weatherbee seen entering CFA.

2:03 AM: Campus safety lights on... Photo.JPG

2:12 AM: An 18-wheeler just passed Alyssa Gill on Main St. What could this MEAN?!

2:19 AM: KNOX: if you are a BELIEBER like myself, or a MUD PIT ENTHUSIAST (the caps is for the enthusiasm) then we need you to get out there and HELP. Just go there and coordinate with the pitiful remains of the crew, so we can keep this going.

2:40 AM: These are what we found chillin at the Holiday Inn around 1AM http://imgur.com/8XQMqC6&xZtOYD3#0<---- great you pic so it did happen, but wtf are they <------Perhaps they contain inflatables?

2:57 AM: Comrades, I have just returned from my bike-flunk-hunt with my camo-hatted co-crusader and these are our findings: we noted the absence of the white vans in the campus safety parking lot, and found an abundance of white vans in the parking lot between Seminary St. and the Packinghouse:


We then found this in the lot behind the register mail:


What is "The Voice"? allowing it actually says that. The Picture is blurry as hell. <----The Voice is a newspaper based in Aurora, IL, near Naperville. <--- Its a GateHouse paper, they rotate trucks sometimes. Doesn't mean squat unless you care about a shipment of inserts for the R-M being delivered.

3:17 AM: I'm not sleeping. But I'm always sleeping. Also I have to poop. FLUNK.

3:32 AM: I have heartburn (it burneth for the mighty flunk). I no longer need to poop. Flunk on, brothers and sisters. Flunk on.

3:55 AM: Group of people spotted in Hamblin Parking Lot. Too early for a group for a scare. Friars assembling?

3:59 AM: Just returned from bike ride. Lights on in the caf, four cop cars were near P-House about twenty minutes ago but have driven away, campus safety spotted near library fifteen minutes ago, van w/ lights on in an alley behind a church on Tompkins st.

No updates since 4 am. (its now 5 am) Wake up campus and update us alumni!!! <-----CONFIRMED! and us current students still. WE NEED OUR FLUNK!

5:09 AM: A lot of underclassmen walking around in eager anticipation, but Seniors are the only true harbingers of Flunk.

5:18 AM: Two emergency vehicles heard rushing off to somewhere. Must be some cops getting their last minute stash for Flunk Day!

5:20 AM: People seen congregating outside the Field House. The Flunk is upon us!


5:40 AM: the scare seems to be congregating....could this be another year of scare turned flunk?

5:44 AM: Seniors congregating at Hamblin entrance... Could this be a pincer attack?

6:01 AM .......and boom goes the dynamite.

6:05 AM: What is this...why? what?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-P9z_xR-umpI/UITkODuZazI/AAAAAAAAACE/KbINa7YxveQ/s1600/taken+meme+0.jpg <------- The kill you part is a joke fyi

What is happening? I live off-campus and I would like an update.

6:11 AM No email. No flunk.

When Flunk Day comes, I'm not celebrating.<---your loss hommie. The flunk day spirit must endure despite this crushing blow. <--- Confirmed. Must be a freshman. Don't lose hope yall!

Listen. I'm not saying aliens took Flunk Day today. But it was aliens.

May 1[edit]

All content deleted from this post. proof that flunk day is Wednesday??? <- it was deleted because people were using the f-word on the internetz <-NOT THE "F" WORD!?!?!

THIS JUST IN: Admissions Ambassadors Monthly Meeting moved to NEXT WEDNESDAY. I know they know nothing about the day, but my suspicions are quite high... It was May 1st last year... would they repeat the date? <---- we don't expect them to repeat the date, making this the perfect day!<-------------Flunk Day's are statistically independent events from one another.

Monday, 3:01 pm: An informant tells me that caf workers have been informed not to bake ahead because Wednesday is FLUNK DAY. No names so they don't get in trouble. <-- Confirmed! An individual who works in the caf also told me that Flunk Day is on Wednesday. In the past, the same worker has told my friends who have worked in the caf also, and they have always been right. Flunk Day is upon us.

THEY ARE FILLING IN THE MUD PIT. I REPEAT, THEY ARE FILLING IN THE MUD PIT WITH SAND AND MULCH! WHAT THE FLUNK ARE THEY DOING?!?!?!?!?<--They do that every year. The mud pit is not sanctioned by KNOX. Of course they are going to try and stop students.<--- correct, but why would they do this now unless the Flunk is close enough where students could not reverse the damage. Which is why i think the flunk is soon. How soon? Tomorrow soon.

11:28 am: Caf lady who took my card at breakfast said "no flunk day today, huh?" and gave me a coy smile. FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED FOR WEDNESDAY

3:50 P.M. I've gathered a few friends to clear the mudpit at 11:00 tonight. We could really use the help in getting it ready. Meet at the pit at 11 if you want to help! And bring your friends!<---It's a trap!<---Campus Safety posted this its a sting operation they just gonna bust ya'll

4:13PM "Here lies the Post that never was."

4:29 PM: Craig and Debbie Southern seen leaving Deb Southern's office and Old Main in a hurry.

5:31pm: everyone knows tomorrow is flunk day. honestly i hope it isnt just because everyone is expecting it. oh well. however, if it is, i'll still be the drunk barefoot person doing all the activities!

5:32 PM Japanese professor Ryohei Matsuda suspects a May 1st Flunk! Matsuda-sensei is never wrong!

5:39 PM: Ricky Barbieri finds your lack of faith disturbing. Fix it.


"WHY IS THERE NO SUB CATEGORY FOR MAY 6TH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? SERIOUSLY NOT EVEN A CATEGORY FOR IT!?!?!?!?! Also, I have no clue how to make such a thing, can someone please do it." I wrote that yesterday and someone created a May 6th. MAY 6TH IS NOW GONE!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL! NOT ONLY IS THAT DAY FLUNK DAY BUT SOMEONE IS TRYING TO LITERALLY MAKE IT NOT EXIST!<------May 6th does not exist! It will never exist. Stop Trying to make MAY 6th a thing. It will never be a thing.


http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3u6js5/ <---- every first-year RA since the dawn of time!

If Knox SERIOUSLY doesn't want a mud pit, then they need to stop using students covered in Flunk Day mud in their admissions/PR materials. JUST SAYIN'. Stay strong Conger/Neal! <-- very wise person said this

The Admissions Ambassador meeting was originally scheduled for this day but was rescheduled for a week later.

No updates for 3 1/2 hours? C'mon, Flunkers, where's the hype? <---- Rumors of seniors going to Cherry St. tonight. Senior meeting tonight because the regularly scheduled meeting tomorrow will be consumed by Flunk? <-- Senior meeting carries on with or without Flunk, it's a nice off-campus option for seniors after a day of Flunking.

Tomorrow is Flunk Day. Lets build the HYPE!!!

9:08 PM - Feeling flunk vibrations in the loins. Been right every year thus far. My "space needle" as they call it picks up flunk vibrations on a frequency of 501KiloKnox. Boom! Clearly, the flunk is tomorrow. <-- This really could be huge. Or really flaccid.

9:16 pm - James Wright-Lee says it is "clearly" tomorrow.

9:32 PM: Sam Auch has planned her flunk day outfit. Flunk day is tomorrow.

9:30 PM THERE IS A GOD DAMN RIOT AND/OR OCCUPY MOVEMENT AT THE PIT <-- y'all need Jesus <-- What! What is happening exactly? <------ #OCCUPYMUDPIT2013 <-- they're all standing around the mud pit. taking out the mulch? maybe chanting? idk. and someone said giving up their IDs? to campus safety? something like that. it's a hot mess. <--- because of this unity in times of struggle the Flunk shall soon be upon us <-- Chanting confirmed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWzcCA-kFy8

9:46pm Occu-Flunk Day students remove mulch from mud pit with hands because campus safety confiscated shovels


10:00PM: This was found outside of the Union Board office tonight (http://tinypic.com/r/nd5vgy/5)<-- Bull. Fucking. Shit

10:17 PM Knox unites. Huge gathering at mudpit. I suggest you go check it out. It is beautiful.

10:18 PM I am coming down with something. Karma dictates Flunk is tomorrow.

10:24 I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING AT THE MUD PIT RIGHT NOW! GO, UNDERCLASSMEN, GO!! KEEP IT UP!! <---CONFIRMED, there is hope for the future after all!<----- http://qkme.me/3u6ojh

Y'all gonna be ok if tomorrow is not Flunk Day? I'm genuinely concerned. <------ Think we have all begun to make our own flunk day.

10:57 THE MUD PIT IS ON FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE<---Seriously? This could be bad.

11:11 PM A reliable source reports, "The wheels on the bus go round and round".

11:12 PM (Retrospectively). The Flunk Day Gnomes have seen fit to undermine the naysayers in the hopes of keeping Flunk Spirit alive and well.

Flunk, flunk, flunk flunk. Flunky. Flunk Flunk Flunk Flunk Flunk Flunk. Flunk <----- THIS COULD BE HUGE

^ I think the most important part of the article cited above was the mention of TEA CUP RIDES.

11:29 PM A group of non-Knox students seen wandering around near the sorority houses. Who are they? Why are they here? <--- they are knox students, they are here because this is knox.

11:55 PM Does anyone know what kind of car Kaitlyn drives? Large SUV seen leaving Hamblin parking lot driven by someone who looked eerily like Kaitlyn. <---- dunno her car, but she lives in tompkins, so that could easily have been her

12:00AM Awkward salmon two way on a Unicorn. Tomorrow must be flunk day! <----- CONFIRMED

12:03 AM. Does anyone know if the food has even arrived? I don't think I've seen that on here, and that's pretty crucial. Also, didn't we catch breeze of who the mystery performer was around this time last year? <---- Rick Astley spotted in the Holiday Inn parking lot! Sorry for the shaky footage, but at least I got something on my phone (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) <--- A poorly disguised Rick Roll to say the least. I'll give it a C for effort.

12:15 AM something just heard outside Tompkins about 5:30. Perhaps for friar summons? <--- although that is a known habitat for seniors, it is far to early for such shenanigans.

less whining about the mud pit and more evidence! Come on people, THE TIME IS NIGH!!!

I'm not saying it isn't Flunk day. But it isn't flunk day. <------ Factually false, for any true scholar of the Flunk sciences knows that Flunk day always exists tomorrow until it doesn't, but now is not tomorrow. <----CONFIRMED

I've heard from student caf workers that the shipment has indeed arrived and that it is being "prepared" as we speak. <----PROOF! WE NEED PROOF! SOMEONE CHECK TO SEE IF THE LIGHTS IN THE CAF ARE ON! <--- Holy shit, they are!<----Caf workers seem like they got it all going on this year, THIS COULD BE HUGE!!! S9DSt.jpg<----CONFIRMED I"M A CAF STUDENT WORKER AND I"VE SEEN THE FOOD IN THE BASEMENT!!! PREPARE EL DIA DE FLUNK!<----Just saying, they could be specifically turning lights on for this. I work in the mailroom and my boss told me that she has told campus safety to turn the lights on downstairs the past couple of nights...

12:30AM: Prof. Shroyer leaves SMC way too early....Flunk??


12:52 AM - Advice given "Excited->Flunk Day is tomorrow-> Wake up->not flunk day-> one day closer to flunk day-> excited-> Repeat as needed until Flunk Day." The cosmos would not deliver such words if Flunk Day were not tomorrow.<---CONFIRMED! <-- Truer words never spoken! Flunk Day is CLEARLY tomorrow, as all the days that so far have not been Flunk Day CLEARLY prove!<<----holy shit I'm a cosmos.

1:02 AM - a tiny clown car just drove down Academy.<---CONFIRMED, Roger was driving and Teresa was packed in the backseat with Flunk Day Friars!!<---They were pursued by a hoard of velociraptors, followed by Xavier Roman riding an ostrich in the back driving the pack while smoke a bong and screaming, "FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKK" <----UNCONFIRMED ostriches are not indigenous to western Illinois.<---They're an invasive species! Don't you know your environmental science/ecology? <--- ECOLOGY COULD BE HUGE.<---CONFIRMED IT'S EVERYWHERE<----DOUBLE CONFIRMED

1:13 AM Goat spotted in Hamblin 009. Must be FLUNK DAY!!<--PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN<---feeling the flunk<--SOMEONE TELL KELSEY CULLUM

1:15 AM - The Ghosts of Flunks Passed arose from the dead-ass restored praire and advised all the Flunk Day scrooges, "Get Jiggy with it." <----- Booo!

1:18 AM A reliable source reports, "Old MacDonald had a farm." Flunk Day cometh.<---THIS COULD BE HUGE<---ILLINOIS IS FULL OF FARMS. IT IS A SIGN. <--- SIGNS LIKE IN THE MOVIE, SIGNS. WHICH IS ABOUT ALIENS, WHO ARE FROM *SPACE*

1:20AM : Justin Steele leaves SMC to go to bed. Could it be the flunk?! O.O

1:23 AM Abe Lincoln seen hurrying down South Street trying to conceal suspicious-looking bottle underneath top hat.<---He responds to "Baberaham" if you call out to him.


1:31 AM - "Nice Bike" heard from Sigma Nu porch. Such calls signal an impending FLUNK.


1:31 AM- Sleep little dumplings, let the day of flunk dance in your dreams. For tomorrow may very well be flunk. The only truth we have is the truth in our gut. Let the gospel of R. Kelly speak to you; and Kells said "My mind's telling me no...but my body, my body is telling me yeah." And thus the following morning the friars awoke the young ones, and all chaos was restored in the flunk kingdom. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAXxkNaRkp8

1:41 AM- had dream of flunking on the moon. Must be Flunk Day! Also, lots of Knoxies seen at Duffy's... pre-gaming for the flunk?

The moon is GORGEOUS. Just like a pre-Flunk Day moon would be...

2:09 AM - Wait...Flunk Day theme is space. Flunk Day is a huge disaster. When there are disasters in space (or high altitudes) astronauts say "Mayday mayday!" Today is May 1, otherwise known as May Day, a day of MAY-rry-making! <---This could be HUGE! <--- UNDENIABLE PROOF!

2:27 I'm so delirious by doing so much homework at this point it has to be Flunk Day... Right?.. RIGHT?

3:00 AM - Its about that time...

Is there any current activity on campus??!! Anyone?! :( it's 3.41am! Where's the flunk action!?

Honestly, I don't care anymore, I have been teased enough. Spring term has been hard enough as it is without a day to catch up on stuff or at least take a break from all this madness. If it isn't today I'm just going to drop out this term, my head is fried and I cant take it anymore. <----It sounds like you need more than a flunk day....:( I really hope you take the time to take care of yourself...your mental well being is more important than an essay/midterms/reading/ect. In the words of Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle, "Treat. Yo. Self!" <3 <---- can I marry you?<---Sorry, I don't believe in getting married for love...only for tax purposes. :P

5:29 AM: The sun is rising...is the flunk rising with it?

5:37AM: I hate everyone on union board right now. <--- Word. <---- Confirmed.

5:43AM: I just heard someone leave from exec....could it have been Andrei?

5:47 AM: Campus safety sitting in a gator parked next to the mud pit. Is he preparing for Flunk Day or the riots that will happen if it's not? <-----THIS SERIOUSLY COULD BE HUUUUUUGEEE!!!! <---pics or it's not happening

5:50 AM: It is seriously too quite...

5:50 Saw Knox photographer strolling outside I-House!!!

5:52 AM: An "Ow ow!!!" cat call was heard coming in the direction from the Hamblin parking lot.<--Followed by students running past the Quickie and down Academy. <---I did hear the sound of running footsteps!!!!

5:58 AM: FLUNK NOISES!!!!!<---False positive.



May 6[edit]

This is a Monday in the first full week of May. Statistically speaking, this day is lookin' good.

it's Gabrielle Rajerison's birthday!! she is just sassy enough that the planners might have listened to her assuredly convincing argument that flunk day be today.

Let's keep it simple. This is Flunk Day.

May 7[edit]

There is a 65% chance that Flunk Day is before May 7. So sayeth the Gods of Flunk. <--- My Honors defense is May 7. My committee says I have to defend regardless of Flunk. There is only one way to deal with this possibility. <--- Be drunk all the time? <---- Click click pow click rabbit hands looking frantically around the room.



I do not believe these emails. I do not believe them. I HOPE THE PERSON WHO MADE THEM DIES A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH.<-----Honestly this is pretty god damned impressive if you ask me. This could all be forged but this is one hell of an effort. (Humbled slow clapping)<---- ADMISSIONS never knows when the Flunk happens. <-- Alyssa Gill emailed Sarah Colangelo about these emails. This was her response: "FAKE. I would never provoke a discussion about local sports. It's nice work, though." In addition, Sam Auch looked up the student in question and she is a freshman at that high school. Fake fake fake. <---Props to Ms. Gill.<<<<QUEEN OF WIKIFIRE FLUNK

SARAH COLANGELO LOVES FLUNK DAY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTFWmdvBbZE <----- Sarah Colangelo is a huge Troll she knows better than to let anything slip even if she did know.


(Logically, though, how would someone have gotten access to Scolange's email account?) <--- Well, while it might not be full access, you can generally access at least one of someones sent messages by first emailing them. After that, you might receive a sent message from them in your inbox regarding the message you sent. I know its only one message but its something. Sometimes you can respond to the message you received and get even more messages from them too!

Prospies have been on campus before during Flunk day... doubtful that admissions knows the date.<-- Confirmed, admissions never knows the date.

The flunk day committee, being considerate as they are, will wait until after next pay period before throwing down the flunk. At least I hope so! I'm not prepared!

May 8[edit]

Date of UB music event changed to May 8th from the 11th. <---Moved due to a Knox Dems event that day

Liz Carlin-Metz, Professor and Smith V. Brand Endowed Chair in Theatre Arts, told her directing class that Flunk Day should be on May 8. And thus our queen has spoken, and so it shall be. <--- it's true the theatre professors wield more power than you might think <--- Not that much power. <--- no it's true it has to do with the scheduling of theatre plays and stuff. they're doing like a new play carnival they have to have the schedule so they can plan when the plays are gonna be. <--- Not confirmed. <--- no, it's true i talked to this girl who is in the New Play Carnival! <--- Liz is ruler of all and the godmother of empress Blue Ivy (as well as BFFs with her mother The Queen Bey so that they may bask in each others fabulosity and be drunk) and therefore holds all of the power. She also holds the unofficial title of the Petting Zoo Keeper at this New Plays Carnival. <--- Not true at all. Liz Carlin Metz has little power. She is just a woman who thinks way too highly of herself and lets everyone around her know it. <--- Your mom is just a woman who thinks way too highly of herself and lets everyone around her know it. She has little power––in bed! <--- Confirmed. <--- guys it's the new play festival not the new play carnival

May 9[edit]

JPow thinks Flunk Day is May 9. Just sayin'. <--JPow predicted that this was the Flunk Date LAST YEAR. He will prove to be incorrect again!

May 13[edit]

Why is this day even here?

June 8[edit]

Graduation Flunk Day!