The Hard Knox Cafe

The Hard Knox Cafe totally thinks its name is the cutest thing ever. But most people just call it the "caf."

The Hard Knox Cafe serves hot eagle wings and corn most frequently. Unfortunately, the cafeteria's macaroni and cheese is unsatisfactory. Alex Lindsay suggested that the only scientific explanation for the caf's mac and cheese to have absolutely no taste is that the noodles used in the mac and cheese have a negative cheese flavor. In general, the food tastes pretty okay during the week and not so great on weekends. Unless you get up for Sunday brunch with the vegan dumplings. Good caf stuff: Stir Fry, smoothies, select Oak Room meals and the monday/friday pizza thing. Bad caf stuff: the mashed potatoes. Obviously NOT real mashed potatoes. The scent of the faux mashed potatoes sends my gag reflex into overdrive, yet lots of people love and eat them in big globs.

The caf takes meal swipes through the CBORD system. Meals cost about $8, you can't possibly buy fewer than 75 of them per term, and the school makes it very difficult for students who want to cook their own meals to get off-board.

Comment board

The comment board is filled with requests for food items not featured, which the caf workers often deny if the request is to weird, the item is not available in bulk, or just out there. They do try, though--a group of impassioned students last year brought back granola with comment cards, pointing out that a parfait would be impossible without it. Currently Corm is being requested urgently by several students, but the caf is viciously denying any possibility of Corm since it is a UK products net deemed safe by the FDA

The comment board is also filled with drawings and other witticisms not related to food whatsoever. These comments are submitted for the sole purpose of finding out what Helmut Mayer's response is going to be. This response surpasses expectations of amusement by the commenter more times than not.

Helmut

Helmut Mayer is the boss, he will inevitably come and talk to you mid-coffee pour to ask how you like the food. He has recently become rather experimental in his "cuisine." He offers several renditions of Indian curries and other exotically spiced dishes. In the Oak Room he has added some interesting options as well. Some of the most edible meals are the Korean Beef Taco with tamarind sauce and the local burgers (though they can be rather dry). This contrasts heavily with the greasy laxative that is Cajun Night and the subtle (but lingering) disappointment of Japanese Noodle Bowl Night.

Fashion

Sunday brunch.

Caf Schism

Some people sit on the right and some sit on the left by the windows.

(Seymour Defender)

Today's Menu

• Dining menu from Knox Web site