Alex Robertson

Alex, reenacting the traumatic experience of being shoved into a dryer by a three-hundred pound cross between a gorilla and a polar bear. The Alex Robertson pictured here is of the wild, western Illinois variety. These particular Alex Robertsons come in every shade of red, and blush pretty much all of the time.

Alexander Laverne Robertson (born May 18, 1989) is a student at Knox and is a member of the Class of 2011.

Early Life

Little is known about the childhood and adolescence of Alex but sources claim that he was raised by a pride of lions, instilling him with the admirable qualities that all lions possess.

Life at Knox College

2006-2007

Alex visited Knox during the spring of 2007 and attended the infamous Sellew prospie party. Therein, he learned firsthand the insanity and debauchery of Knox College.

2007-2008

Alex lived in Seymour 3B for the duration of the 2007-2008 school year. He was first paired with Jonathan Pierce-Ruhland whom he roomed with for the first half of the school year. In early February of 2008, Alex met Ben Boor and realized they were soulmates. Thereafter, the two roomed together in what was repeatedly regarded as "the sweetest room on campus." The room was filled with potted plants, naked women, fine art, and tasty cuisine.

2008-2009

Alex was paired up to live with Timmy Schmeling for the duration of the 2008-2009 school year, but due to the small size of the room, Timmy found living space elsewhere, leaving Alex with a single. This room is filled with photographs, exotic insects, and musical instruments.

2009-2010

Alex plans to eat, sleep, breath, repeat.

2010-2011

Alex plans to repeat the activities of 2009-2010, only to conclude with commencement.

Personal Life

Alex is a vegetarian. It is unclear what level of vegetarian he is, but it has been repeatedly seen that he does not consume animal products such as gelatin. While he refrains from using animal products, some are just too tasty to avoid, such as fish oil which is conveniently packaged in bottles of Guinness Draught.

Alex plays the electric violin, which makes John Lane happy.

Alex plans to major in creative writing but really has no idea, like all other creative writing majors.

Alex is half Scottish, a quarter Irish, two thirds Canadian, and one sixty fourth Spanish (causing him to break into garbled spanish phrases upon consumption of the most minute amount of alcohol).

Alex is a strong supporter of the trayless system installed in the Caf. During the 2007-2008 school year, he never took a tray as he determined that the amount of food that can fit onto one plate is exactly proportional to the size of the human stomach.

Sometimes, Alex goes by the nom de plume "Strawberry Shortcake."