Hali Engelman

Affectionately known as "Hali Hipster" or "Hayrey", this girl jizzes at any mention of Joanna Newsom. If you see her around, she's probably wearing one of her five T-shirts, skinny jeans that ought to be pulled up a bit, and a hoodie that's only zipped up partway. Her head is usually half-covered either by the hood of her sweater or her black floppy knit hat thing. She has an interest in music that can commonly be referred to as "indie" and can play lots of her favorite songs on the guitar.

If you value your general well-being, you should ask Hali to play you songs on her guitar, to sing to you, and to allow you to stare into her beautiful eyes, preferably all at the same time.

Notable quotations include:

• I wish this school wasn't so aware of itself.