Flunk Day 2010
It's coming to a Knox College near you in the fairly distant future.
- 11:53PM--it's totally tomorrow. <--can you confirm? this could be huge.
- Official projection for el Dia de Flunk 2010: Tuesday, May 4th*
- THIS JUST IN: FLUNK DAY FRIARS ARE BEING PICKED THROUGH A GAME OF ASSASSIN.
stick to the traditions. this is NOT a game. this is flunk day. --> I agree. Could the assassin's game just be a cover?
- March 25, 2010: Sam Martone announces that he will act as a mercenary/spy for seniors who desire assistance during the Assassins game.
- March 26, 2010: Tenured Professor of Economics, Jonathan Powers, asserted that Flunk Day IS tomorrow, Saturday, March 27th.
- March 30, 2010: FLUNK DAY FRIARS ARE OFFICIALLY NOT BEING PICKED BY A GAME OF ASSASSINS BECAUSE KNOX COLLEGE NO LONGER ENJOYS FUN OR THINGS THAT ARE FUN. Are the Flunk Day Gods listening? Ginny Graves tells anonymous student that friars will now be picked through a large game of bingo. Hit your grandparents up for strategies people. It is on!
- March 31, 2010: Many students are confused and lost now that their Master of Flunk has been dismissed. Now there will be no riding around in the Gator handing out condoms and being reprimanded by Roger again.
--> Simultaneously, the upperclassmen are throwing parties to celebrate the dismissal
--> Simultaneously, the sophomores are confused as to why people are so mean.
--> Simultaneously, the first-years are confused as to what exactly Flunk Day is and who the Flunk Master is. They decide to start investing in the "Flunk Day stash" the upperclassmen were talking about, not sure if this really means alcohol, drugs, or party blowers.
April 1, 2010
- 4AM
Students are emailed about being a part of Flunk Day and to remain secret.<---Friars? this could be huge!
- 8AM
Students are turned away from Campus Life only to realize they just got mega pranked!!! HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!! and congratulations/fuck you to those who orchestrated this prank!
April 5, 2010 -
2PM In a stunning turn of events, the Flunk Day e-mail consists of Roger Taylor announcing his resignation. A new tradition is born.
10PM Suspicious vehicles spotted in Dick Blick parking lot.
11PM A bright flash of light is seen coming from the Northwest.
April 6, 2010
5 AM Some people yell that it is Flunk Day. Unfortunately, they start out in Hamblin and the upperclassmen only grumble. We all go back to sleep.
April 7, 2010
LET'S REVIEW THE FACTS.
- Flunk Day is Tomorrow.
- Don't assume that all events on the calenders actually exist. In one case a few years ago, the boy's baseball team was away at a game when Flunk Day occurred.
- Don't rely on the forecast. Rain just helps in the making of the mud pit.
- Don't believe any of the upperclassmen. Ever.
- Don't believe any of the faculty. Ever.
- Just because the caf is baking a lot of cookies does not mean Flunk Day is tomorrow.
- It is also not necessarily Flunk Day if the grass has just been mowed.
- Large trailers spotted at random businesses around town does not mean they are blow-up carnival rides.
- Flunk Day will not be on a Friday. Too many people would end up in the hospital from non-stop partying.
- The Flunk Day planners will not give you clues as to when the actual day is.
- Everything they say and do may just be screwing with you. Always keep that in mind.
Here is also a map from last year's Flunk Day that we can update this year:
Notable sightings would include: Helmut leaving the caf at odd hours of the morning, Professor Jen Smith wandering around campus with her children, (others??)
