Commencement

Commencement is a funny word for graduation, because it means "beginning", when the thing is actually the end of college.

Perhaps they meant the commencement of alcoholism.

Commencement Speakers

2008: Jesus Fucking Christ

2007: Bill Clinton

2006: Stephen Colbert

2005: Barack Obama

2004: Dr. Brilliant, and yes, that is his real name.

2003: Admiral William Crowe - amid much controversy, as he served as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff under Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush. There was actually a protest against his speaking at graduation.