Commencement

Commencement is a funny word for graduation, because it means "beginning", when the thing is actually the end of college.

Perhaps they meant the commencement of alcoholism.

Commencement Speakers

2008: Jesus Fucking Christ

2007: Bill Clinton

2006: Stephen Colbert

2005: Barack Obama

2004: Dr. Brilliant, and yes, that is his real name.

2003: Admiral William Crowe - amid much controversy, as he served as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff under Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, and was suspected to have had some part in the Iran-Contra scandal. There was actually a protest against his speaking at graduation. A group of students wore light purple arm bands to Commencment, and one student who was graduating stood up with his back to Crowe for his entire speach.