Ayinger Doppelbock

The Ayinger Doppelbock, or Celebrator, is an award-winning Bavarian beer brewed in the tiny village of Ayinger. It is known for being dark, yet going down like soda pop, and for being incredibly high-priced: a four-pack costs about $13.95. Tied to the neck of every bottle of Celebrator is a piece of red twine with a miniature statue of a goat attached to it; this is adorable.

Scott Offutt's Flunk Day festivities consisted of drinking one Celebrator after having a telephone conversation with someone in Ohio for two hours. He talked about literature, porn, and cartoons. That plus the best dark beer in Bavaria is as much as one could or should ask for on any day of the year.