Knoxstuck Avengers

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AVENGERS NEVER DIE! The Knoxstuck Avengers consist of six students from the class of 2016. In 2014, five of them lived in Griffith 1. The other one was lame and lived somewhere in Post. Now they just get together and talk about saving the world.

Members[edit]

Gabriella Crivilare -- Captain America. Short and frequently wears a Captain America sweatshirt, surprise surprise.

Caitlin Rochau -- Thor. The girl with the hair.

Brad Musselman -- The Hulk. Literally does chemistry and turns into a rage monster.

Eric Vogel -- Hawkeye. Shares a birthday with the guy who plays Hawkeye, so they are the same person.

Coltan Parker -- Iron Man. Knows everyone. Everyone knows him.

Hannah Cloh -- Spiderman. Our favorite SAI president.

History[edit]

Continually blamed for the Four Name fire alarms of '14. Don't mention the air freshener.

Habitually bitch about having to go outside to do laundry.

Once had a galaxy cat party. It was hella.

They often sing Disney songs spontaneously. "I'll Make a Man Out of You" is their theme song.

They really like breakfast burritos.

They're best friends with the Rock.

Sometimes they take family field trips. Occasionally to Steak n' Shake, often to Romantix.

They like to build blanket forts.

Coltan often brings home weird trinkets.

Caitlin once made a version of 2048 featuring them.

Often have bathroom parties.

Have many superstitions, some of which revolve around "shit going down" when certain members go home for the weekend.

Important Events[edit]

The Great Chicago Adventure of winter break '12. (Of which Coltan did not partake. Possibly a precursor to the formation of the "I Hate Coltan Club".)

The Great Cat Wars of '12. (Coltan also did not partake. Another precursor, for sure.)

The "I Hate Coltan Club" of '13.

The Great Unfriending Incident of '13

The Goldfish Incident of '13.

The Griffith Gamzee Wars of '13.

The Great Car Accident of Winter Break '13.

The Gay Whiteboard War of '14.

The Day of the Spilled Milk ('14).

The 2048 and Flappy Fedora Wars of '14.

The Down With Brad Campaign of '14.

The Loss of Thor to Asgard (London) of '14.

The Phenomenal Potluck Family Dinner of '15.

The Great Nothing of Winter Term of '15.

The Divine Defeat of Coltan by Eric in Sculpture of '15.

The Creation of the People We Like List of '15.

The Delightful and Debilitating Discovery of Coltan's Flunk Day Plannerhood of '15.

Da Rulez[edit]

Rule #1: Never call him Bradley.

Rule #2: NEVER CALL HIM BRADLEY.

Rule #3: Caitlin is always your mother.

Rule #4: Listen to your mother.

Rule #5: Gabby does whatever the fuck she wants, so don’t try to stop her.

Rule #6: “Let me explain you a thing” must be required at the beginning of every sentence in which you explain something sarcastically.

Rule #7: There will always be a third option, but only Brad knows what it is.

Rule #8a: Gabby reserves the right to pull a Hulk and smash people who comment incessantly in the comments.

Rule #8b: Brad reserves the right for Gabby to Hulk Smash people. See Rule 9a for details.

Rule #9: Do not argue with Eric- it means that he wins.

Rule #10: All new rules must be agreed upon by at least 2 people, and Caitlin will augment the list.

Rule #11: Creep moar.

Rule #12: Always break Coltan with card tricks.

Rule #13: Sure, let's add cats.

Rule #14: Rule #26 still applies.

Rule #15: Every time shipping is brought up, Rule #34 is assumed.

Rule #16: Dinner is at 5:30. Always.

Rule #17: The Avengers will be living in the mud pit during the academic year of 2013-2014.

Rule #18: Eric is obligated to spend at least 3 hours of time with us per week.

Rule #19: Eric is legion. Eric does not forgive, Eric does not forget. Eric is cruel, horrible, and ruthless. Eric always delivers.

Rule #20: Shun the nonbelievers. Shuuuuuuunnnnnnn.

Rule #21: In all other cases, the cake is a lie.

Rule #22: When you call someone out on breaking a rule, you must tell them the rule they broke and then you can yell "TIS LAW BITCH!!!!!!"

Rule #23: Never name your child after a character played by Sean Bean.

Rule #24: Never ask Hannah about "falling in the snow".

Rule #25: Ask Hannah about "falling in the snow".

Rule #26: See Rule #14 for details.