PLEASE, RAUB-SELLEWI, PLEASE - HELP CONGER NEAL BUILD THE MUD PIT OR THERE WILL BE NO MUD THIS YEAR! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS FLUNK DAY, HOLY AND MUDDY!'
Raub-Sellew is home to the infamous Sellew 1, whose prospective student party has gotten them banned from hosting prospectives, and Raub 3, the female outpost of Seymour 2. Located in the exact center of the quads, they suffer from massive fire drills, Flunk Day scares, water wars, mud pits, and general awesomeness coming at them from all sides.
The real downside to living in Raub-Sellew? The showers. Unfortunately, while there are three of them, the showers are lined up in such a way that, in order to enter or exit, one must walk directly through someone else's three feet of cleansing space. In the mornings, there can often be heard shouts of "I'm coming in!" or "Which shower are you in?". Hygiene becomes an issue, as the only way to cover up when you're being invaded is to wrap yourself in one of the slimy, moldy curtains. Said curtains are reported to have seen the Grand Opening of Raub-Sellew; however, they could not be reached for questioning.
Raub 0 was the home to a group of Cave trolls during the 2009-2010 year. All beware those who ventured into this dungeon.
Raub1 was also the home of sumo, water balloons, movie parties, water guns, nerf guns and more. All who approach beware.
The 2010-2011 inhabitants of Raub 1 came up with the first ever recorded code of conduct for the Raub-Sellew suites. They are called The Raub Commandments and read as thus follows:
1. [Redacted by a former resident of 2010-2011 Raub 1 in the interest of preserving dignity for all of us now-way-older/presumably-wiser Raubbelites]
2. Raub's the shit
3. Tolerance is dark
4. Never forget the Raubelisk; take back the pilgrim!
For more information please visit http://www.alternategoat.tumblr.com.
The Raubstitution of Windependence
The 2010-2011 Residents of Raub 1 wrote this Raubstitution of Windependence as a mission statement for the Suite of Raub 1.
Wu the People of the Suite of Raub, in order to form the Most Excellent Union, establish Bossness, insure domestic Mellowness, provide for the Common Room Defense, promote the general Ruckus, and secure the blessings of TRGBIS to ourselves and our Livers, do ordain and establish this Raubstitution of Windependence for the Wunited Suites of Raub.
Mythology and Mysticism
The 2010-2011 Residents of Raub 1 belong to a religious group know as The Order of The Raubalisk. The Order worships a supposedly ancient artifact known as The Raubalisk. According to legend, the Residents of Raub came upon this ancient Deity at a rummage sale. The Great Raubalisk persuaded the Residents to purchase it and, when they returned to the hallowed walls of Raub, revealed its awesome power to the Residents.
The Raubalisk bestowed on the residents, great powers, they were transformed into Majestic Beasts. They came to be called the Raubalites: The Whataboss, The RedBear, The J-Bones, The Squillhelm, The Pros-Parrg, Mateusz Yanooochefski, and K’ilil The Unreal. They were chosen to be the Champions of Raub. Everyday, a little after 4PM, the Raubalites could be found in either the Holy Citadel or The Great Temple of The Foxhole, worshiping the Great Raubalisk. It is said that the Raubalisk taught them the Mystery of Chessboxin’, Shaolin Shadowboxing, and the Way of the Wu.
All was well with the Raubalites and the Raubalisk until one day a great evil came upon the Suite of Raub 1. The Majestic Raubalisk was abducted from its residence in the Inner Sanctum of Raub. When the Residents returned, they found their Great Master replaced with a ransom note.
The Raubalites have been searching for The Raubalisk for some time now, but to no avail. One day, they hope, the Great Raubalisk, in all its Majesty, will return to the hallowed halls of Raub 1. Until that day, the Raubalites keep watch over their temples and continue their training…
The Raubelisk is a lie!<---THIS IS A LIE. THE RAUBELISK IS REAL AS FUCK!