Neal 1

Requirements for Residency

 In the interest of preventing a battle of the largest egos on campus the following information has 
 been added for clarification of the bizarre space-time anomalies surrounding Neal 1.

Neal 1 is traditionally occupied by enormous egos. As a side effect of this requirement each incoming group of residents believes themselves to be enormously greater than the last. The phenomonen creates a duality of perspectives.

Since both groups have egos large enough to declare their opinions to be fact, the following contridiction arises:

• Each incoming group is certainly greater than the last by an order of magnitude.
• Each leaving group is certainly greater than the incoming group by an order of magnitude.

In Mathematics this is a contradiction, however due to the principles of quantum mechanics we find the two facts actually reside in quantum superposition — that is, both facts are simultaneously true and not true. Thus we can declare all of the following predicates as valid:

• The new residents of Neal 1 will certainly suck
• The new residents of Neal 1 will certainly show up the old residents
• The old residents of Neal 1 will certainly live on as the greatest of the Neal 1 residents
• The old residents of Neal 1 certainly sucked

2007 Residents

The residents of Neal 1 in 2007 were insane. They never did anything wrong. They were also the best looking suite on the entire campus.

Neal 1 helped to construct Flunk Day 2007's epic mud pit.

Residents:

• Ryan Cash

• Adam Vera

• Muhibo Sharif-Sidi

• Karen Russell

• Devlin Reem

• Kevin Wickman

• Kimberly Anderson

• Elaine Wilson

• Pac Pobric

• Matt Baker

• Sam Jarvis

• Aaron Barnett

2008 Residents

The future residents of Neal 1 in 2008 are an esoteric group of derelicts. They are part of a housing block of 24 which also appropriated Conger 1 for the 07-08 year. This group represents a majority of the 06-07 residents of Seymour 2 and their friends. Neal 1 has been designated the rowdier half of Seymour 2's housing block, which means a couple people will drink alcohol and play live music.

Residents:

• John Lane

• Pier Debes

• Adam Kent

• Emman Mascariñas

• Lyall Wallerstedt

• Elliot McKinley

• Jake Whipple

• John Hutson

• Zack Stockdale

• Andrew Horn

• Carlos Wolf

• John Perleberg

Can the new residents of Neal (2007-2008) handle the awesome power of Neal? I don't think so.