Flunk Day 2007

From The Wiki Fire
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Union Board in Seymour Union, 2007

Flunk Day 2007 occurred on May 8!! But it is still tomorrow.

However, Flunk Day 2007 is like Schroedinger's Cat: it is rumored to exist, and to not exist. In all reality, though, the Students For Flunk Day Truth Committee proved that Flunk Day does not exist.



The song started just as the Galesburg Fire Department responded to a fire alarm in the Quads. Instead of canceling Tunak, they kept it on the front lawn, right in front of the rather confused firemen.

The Sigma Nu guys traditionally carried out the ceremony of the Tunak dance on Flunk Day 2007, albeit with an audience.


For some odd reason(s), the weather of this day is a point of debate. Weather.com and the National Meteorology Society both record the temperature to be mid to high fifties with over cast and rain. The source of the debate, that it was actually warm and sunny, is part of a Developmental Psych class project. Professor Anderson challenged his students to change the "collective memory" of campus by insisting that it was warm and sunny. Consequently, it is the weak-minded that actually believe they remember the weather as being warm and sunny.

The Mud Pit[edit]

Residents of Conger 2 and Neal 1 dug up the mud pit and removed dangerous items such as shards of glass and metal shrapnel weeks before flunk day. Later facilities filled the mud pit with sand, but two students from Conger-Neal lay in the pit site to prevent the sand-filling. When members of the administration were summoned, the pair left. The event spawned a front-page article in TKS.

But the intrepid residents dug a large amount of the sand out, and moved the rest to the edges. Neal 1 also bought over 20 bags of topsoil to load into the mud pit. Facilities took 7 of those bags, although 5 were later recovered by an undisclosed party.

Two residents of Conger-Neal protest the first sanding of the mud pit.
The aftermath, further evidence that 1200 drunk college students equals the explosive power of 3 sticks of dynamite.

The night before Flunk Day, Conger 2 and Neal 1 were made aware that Flunk Day was tomorrow when students spotted a truck with the teacup rides parked not far from campus. This was all the confirmation the group needed; Andrew Raridon and residents attached a hose to the faucet on the side of Conger to fill the mud pit while others filled trash cans with hot water from the showers. The sand in the mud pit loosened the clay-heavy soil leading to even more mud, and it's generally accepted that the sand did nothing but make the mud pit bigger.

Around 6:00 AM facilities tried once more to shovel sand back into the mud pit but members of Neal/Conger dove in to the mud pit to save it. Soon after the entire school joined them.

Some argue administration-deposited sand did more damage to the students' bodies than whatever had been in there before.

Conger-Neal will continue the tradition and persevere through any obstacles the administration erects.


The scares of the 2007 season have been many, due to the fact that Flunk Day was late. Flunk Day was later this year than it had been in at least the last four years. It finally occurred on May 8. Sweet!

Thursday, April 10[edit]

This scare was started with a single text message sent from Eric Langston to Jake Kuhnline. Eric Langston proceeded to convince Tom Fucoloro to send out an email to TKS and Graham Troyer-Joy to send out an email to WVKC regarding Flunk Day procedures. The rumor was further stoked by planting the "Is it Flunk Day tomorrow?!?" seed with select people within numerous organizations, which caused it to resurface and reinforce itself.

The date may seem dubious, due to a number of factors. For one, the flunk day safety email had not yet been sent out, but due to the fact that in 2006 the safety email was not sent out until the day before (supposedly to prevent scares) it was widely rumored that this was simply a scare-busting tactic.

The cold weather was also cited as evidence to support the date--Campus Life wouldn't have to worry about the mud pit, the logic went.

Likewise, nobody would have their stash of alcohol yet, and students wouldn't be able to get drunk until stores started selling liquor at 7 am.

None of these propositions proved true, and the scare was widespread enough to merit the following email from Xavier Romano:

Date: April 11, 2007 3:40:17 PM CDT
From: vsibley@knox.edu
Subject: Today is *NOT* Flunk Day!
[From Dean Xavier E. Romano]
Every year I wonder if I need to send this not out but, alas, some wonderful first-years have asked if Flunk Day scares are an "excused absence" and the answer is--as always--a resounding "NO."
So remember that Flunk Day scares are neither encouraged nor are they grounds for an excused absence--so go to class!
It's too cold for Flunk Day, so if the weather does not improve, we will just have to postpone until Fall Term :-) ! A long way of saying that when it is Flunk Day, you will know it...trust me...
Dean of Flunk

Monday, May 7[edit]

Some people thought the Chinese Ambassador wasn't really coming. But Paige Harrison said he was, because Anne Taylor bought new cups, and would not lie to her about something like that.

Roger Taylor informed The Knox Student about the Ambassador's visit about a month ago, so it was, in fact, very unlikely that his visit to the campus was simply a giant ruse.[1]

Monday, May 14[edit]

A Flunk Day organizer said it was two weeks after the first planned date.

Actual date[edit]

Flunk day 2007 occurred on May 8. Here follows the official flunk day e-mail.

This is it...FLUNK DAY 2007...FINALLY :-) More Myth vs. Fact...

Fact...TODAY (Tuesday) is in fact Flunk Day 2007!

Myth...Prof. Larry Breitborde, Academic Dean, will cut his hair and shave his beard on this day of Flunk so as not to be confused with the late Jerry Garcia...

Fact...The Mud Pit is DANGEROUS...Reports yesterday noted that glass, rocks, and other nasty things are in the pit including pieces of a suite telephone. Please remember that the mud pit is NOT a part of Flunk Day and if you go in you do so at your own risk...

Myth...or Fact...The Friars are a part of history - we shall see!!!

Fact...Flunk Day is great fun for one and all...

Take care of one another and welcome to Flunk Day 2007...remember that it is up to all of us to keep one another safe and have a great time!

See you all "out there" at Flunk Day 2007!

-Xav ier

5.15 a.m.
8 May 2007
"The Official Day of Flunk!"

Besides the friars, Ellen Vessels is rumored to be one of the first students to get "official" word that it was Flunk Day as per a text message she received from Dean Xavier Romano early May 8, before the e-mail was sent. In the message, Dean Romano explained that the e-mail system wasn't working, and instructed Ellen to spread the word.


Paint Fight <youtube v="2_4KfLvaOdw"/>

Video of the Flunk Day paint fight. The paint fight was not a scheduled event, even though a lot of people thought it was.

Also see Seymour 2.

Rumors For[edit]

His Excellency, Zhou Wenzhong, the Ambassador of China is supposed to stay overnight Monday. This is, perhaps, unlikely for a man of his stature. It is hard to imagine the Chinese Ambassador staying in the Best Western Prairie Inn.

Additionally, Madeline Weiland was also asked to babysit for professor Jason Helfer as he claimed to be hosting the Chinese Ambassador for dinner on Tuesday, however, he has since canceled these plans.

A student had a friend call from Colorado and tell the Office of Admissions that she was visiting Augustana and Monmouth on Tuesday, May 8, and she was wondering if she could come by Knox and get a tour. Reportedly, admissions responded by saying, "Uhhh, no, that won't work out." When the student asked why not, they said, "Well, Tuesday is our spring carnival; we call it Flunk Day."

Rumors Against[edit]

The Environmental Racism class has a very big day trip to Chicago scheduled May 8, and it could not be canceled. 28 of 40 students went. The schools' administration refused to disclose that it was on Tuesday to the professors who had asked months in advance whether Tue 8th may was going to be flunk day. When it was rescheduled after the April 30th debacle the class' trip was not taken into consideration.

The baseball team has an away game May 8 against Grinnell College that has been rescheduled twice already. (This could be for or against. Basically, if someone says, "It can't be Flunk Day Tuesday because the baseball team has a game," you can respond that it was already rescheduled twice so it could still be Flunk Day because they rescheduled it and may not have been able to avoid it.)


  1. Knox College to Host Chinese Ambassador to U.S. from the official Knox College Web site