Difference between revisions of "Marnie Shure"
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− | + | [[Image:marnieshure.jpg|right|thumb|Marnie, in one of her many fashionable hats.]]'''Marnie Catherine Shure''' (February 10, 1989 - present) is a [[Creative Writing]] darling at [[Knox College]]. She is well known for her pithy witticisms, her image-driven [[poetry]], and her charitable donations of candy to needy moochers. | |
− | [[Image:marnieshure.jpg|right|thumb|Marnie, in one of her many fashionable hats.]] | ||
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− | + | ==Family and early life== | |
− | + | The facts of Marnie Shure's family and early life are shrouded in mystery and legend. Most sources indicate that she is descended from a line of Amazonian warrior women, displaced during their numerous polemic catastrophes to the greater [[Chicago]]land area. Her mother, searching for a husband with nothing but several leopard skins to her name, eventually stumbled upon a broody [[Bruce Springsteen]] fanatic, and they were quickly married. Marnie was their second child. While the [[rumors]] of Marnie the infant eating her older sister are largely unsubstantiated, photographic evidence suggests that Marnie, at 12 months, could have easily [[physically dominated]] a child as old as nine. | |
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[[Image:MonsterBaby.jpg|left|thumb|L'enfant Terrible]] | [[Image:MonsterBaby.jpg|left|thumb|L'enfant Terrible]] | ||
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− | == | + | ==The "Friendliest [[High School]] in the Nation"== |
− | Marnie | + | Marnie harbored fond memories of her beloved alma mater, Lyons Township High School. She made several friends in the [[theater]] department, and served as a drummer in the school's marching band. Both required extensive knowledge of kissing games, which she would call upon in her later years to orchestrate a fun time for all. |
+ | ==Knox: The Final Frontier== | ||
+ | Marnie arrived at Knox College in 2007, taking up residence in [[Campbell]] 4 with all the rigor and militarism to be expected from an Amazonian/"The River" interbreed. There, she became acquainted with current bestie, [[Mary Reindl]], and arch-nemesis, [[Rachel Perez]]. Through a complicated system of alliances, forged via Play-Doh penises, suicide documentaries, and [[Fall Out Boy]], Marnie quickly rose to power in her freshman year. | ||
[[Category:Students]] | [[Category:Students]] | ||
[[Category:Class of 2011]] | [[Category:Class of 2011]] |
Revision as of 00:30, 20 April 2010
Marnie Catherine Shure (February 10, 1989 - present) is a Creative Writing darling at Knox College. She is well known for her pithy witticisms, her image-driven poetry, and her charitable donations of candy to needy moochers.
Family and early life
The facts of Marnie Shure's family and early life are shrouded in mystery and legend. Most sources indicate that she is descended from a line of Amazonian warrior women, displaced during their numerous polemic catastrophes to the greater Chicagoland area. Her mother, searching for a husband with nothing but several leopard skins to her name, eventually stumbled upon a broody Bruce Springsteen fanatic, and they were quickly married. Marnie was their second child. While the rumors of Marnie the infant eating her older sister are largely unsubstantiated, photographic evidence suggests that Marnie, at 12 months, could have easily physically dominated a child as old as nine.
The "Friendliest High School in the Nation"
Marnie harbored fond memories of her beloved alma mater, Lyons Township High School. She made several friends in the theater department, and served as a drummer in the school's marching band. Both required extensive knowledge of kissing games, which she would call upon in her later years to orchestrate a fun time for all.
Knox: The Final Frontier
Marnie arrived at Knox College in 2007, taking up residence in Campbell 4 with all the rigor and militarism to be expected from an Amazonian/"The River" interbreed. There, she became acquainted with current bestie, Mary Reindl, and arch-nemesis, Rachel Perez. Through a complicated system of alliances, forged via Play-Doh penises, suicide documentaries, and Fall Out Boy, Marnie quickly rose to power in her freshman year.