Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon is pretty cool.

Portland, Oregon features one of the biggest book stores ever. At one city block square and 6 floors high, Powell's Books is pretty freaking huge.

People from Portland are coffee snobs. Good coffee doesn't exist in the midwest, although some people think Kaldi's gets kind of close. They have obviously never had coffee in Portland.

Conversations about coffee with Portland residents are best avoided, they might make you cry. If you ever go to Portland, order Stumptown coffee. If you ever meet a Portlander ask them if their parents send them Stumptown beans – if so, make that person your new best friend.

People from Portland are also all gay (at least a little bit).

Portland, Oregon is home to hipsters. Many people from Portland go to Knox, which is a little strange given the distance. Most assume Portland residents are lured by the good looks of Paul Steenis — Dean of Admissions and head of recruitment in the Pacific Northwest.

People from Portland are conceited, and with good reason. They can't help that God made them this way.