Sam Martone

Despite being an amazingly social social person, little is known about Anthony Samuel Martone's past. Sam Martone is one of the largest personalities at Knox College, but who is the man behind this personality? There are whispers and rumors, but few definitive facts. This article will explore those rumors and try to delve to the bottom of the mysteries.

Common Knowledge

Place of origin Sam purports to being from Alabama. He attempts to continue this ruse by seeming to care about the recent natural disasters that have devastated the state. However, upon further investigation it seems that no one in his home town of Tuscaloosa ever remembers him being there. However, this might be due to reasons outlined further in this page.

Academics Sam Martone will graduate from Knox College in 2011 with Honors. He is a creative major and actively writes fiction in his spare time. He attempted to start a flash fiction blog with his work and WVKC shows. It's been relatively inactive, however some of his stories have been published on other blogs and sources, refer to his facebook for more info. Sam Martone has fictionalized his home town for his Honors Project in creative writing. This project is consistent with much of his fiction based around Alabama. Sam has received many awards and honorable mentions from his various stories and essays.

WVKC Sam Martone maintains a WVKC show 'The Snow and the Flurry' (at least that's what it was called winter term when the WVKC people actually gave shit and release a schedule on their {http://departments.knox.edu/wvkc/ website]. Little is known about Sam Martone's WVKC show, when asked what he does on his show many students responded "Knox has a radio station?"

Sigma Chi Sam joined Sigma Chi at the end of his freshman year. He was held in a limbo state as an unpinned pledge until they had enough dudes to run a pledge class. In winter of 2009 he was initiated in the Beta pledge class. Since then Sam has served as Sigma Chi's magister, social chair and historian. Sam has been one of the most active officers in the fraternity. This fact is likely due to the positions he held fitting his personality. A magister he got to talk a lot, which is one of his favorite past times. As historian he was able to write and stylized (slightly fictionalized) history of Sigma Chi. Finally as social chair he was able to come up with zany party ideas where he could DJ and be the center of attention. Some of his most well known parties were the 'top secret party' where the actual theme of the party wasn't released until guests got there. This included a sock puppet party and a Vampire luau.

Writing Tutor Sam Martone writes a lot, and is good at it. Therefore, the CTL hired him as a writing tutor, go get help if you're a bad writer (like the person who wrote this page).

His Cult of Personality

Sam Martone is known for being narcissistic. He uses his knowledge of modern media and his writing skills to idealize himself and his social standing. When asked one student says "Sam Martone is a self obsessed busy body who loves to gossip about, and hype, himself. No one thinks Sam Martone is cooler than Sam Martone."

Use of Media Sam Martone uses Facebook, twitter, blogs, WVKC, and the wikifire to warp people's perspectives of himself. His twitter feed is on a popular subject, Flunk Day. He gathers second hand knowledge that people feed him and pretends like he is an all knowing Flunk Day predictor. Originally that status was purely fiction, but as people began to believe it they fed him Flunk Day information. As people did that he became a clearinghouse for Flunk Day information and became a fairly accurate predictor of Flunk Day. This self fulfilling image has led people to think that Sam Martone is somehow connected to Flunk Day. Some people have gone so far to say Sam Martone invented Flunk Day, these rumors are purely false. Sam Martone is just another student making guesses about a day he hasn't helped plan and has no real inside information about. Sam's blogs release his fiction. Some of it's interesting, if you're into reading. His facebook acts as a clearing house for all his various media forms and he updates his status enough for it to be considered a twitter feed. More than half of the Wikifire's mentions of Sam Martone are actually written by Sam Martone. Most of the comments about them are also him.

Parties Sam Martone likes to DJ and set up parties a lot. His musical tastes are a bit mainstream teenage girlish, but I'll go into that further later. For some reason other people on campus think he's a good DJ. He has DJed many sorority formals and semi-formals. He really just picks a playlist that everyone is used to and hits play. He often repeats super popular songs, but rarely picks an interesting unique one. This is why he is hired out for mainly sorority events instead of fraternity ones. Whenever he does DJ, he borrows other people's equipment of the Union Board's equipment because he doesn't actually own any DJ stuff.

Musical Talent He has none, his singing is terrible even though he is the lead singer of a band, The Four Man Band. No one really understands why he continues to perform. The only explination is he loves the fact that people have to pay attention to him on a stage.

Dark History

Probably this least known facts about Sam are those relating to his past. Sam rarely talks about his past, it seems like a dark time for him.

Author's Notes

This article is a vague attempt at being humorous, which as an author I have trouble doing. To compensate this article is excruciatingly long and dry just like my masturbation technique. - Sam Frank