Seymour 3B
Seymour 3B is located on the third floor of Seymour Union. Seymour 3B is the best place to live if you're a freshman boy and you like to get drunk. Seymour 3B is also vastly better than Seymour 3A.
Contents
History[edit]
Seymour 3B has a very controversial history. It has been known as "The Ghetto" since at least the early 1900s. Seymour 3B was also a smoking dorm up until smoking inside college residences was banned by Illinois law at the end of the 2005-06 school year(though this is no longer an issue because of 3Bs three vaporizers. While the nickname for Seymour 3B is "The Ghetto," it is more commonly referred to as just "3B" by the current student population. Seymour 3B has been known for alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and general hooliganism. This "tradition" has been carried out for all years up to June, 2007. We will have to see if the new population will be the same, or if they will break suit
1989-90[edit]
The "Ghetto" threw an all-campus party in January 1990 during fraternity rush. Seymour 3B skirted college rules about not having kegs at campus parties by using party balls. The party got busted by Knox security, which threw all non-Seymour 3B residents out of the hallway. However, floor residents were allowed to remain, and with the party broken up, they began to rage, including destroying party balls and throwing metal trash cans up and down the floor. Finally, one floor resident picked up a metal trash can, headed to the door at the end and then turned around and looked at everyone on the floor and yelled, "Are we all paying?" Another resident replied, "Yeah! We're all paying!" With that, the metal trash can was forced through the window and its frame, with everything crashing onto the fire escape. Immediately, a gust of January air headed down the hallway. Everyone retreated to their rooms, and Knox security angrily returned to board up the window. Many floor residents were taken to the college's Judicial Board, where several perpetrators were fined. The resident who smashed the trash can through the window frame was fined $137 for the cost of the window plus another $50 punitive fine, while the resident who egged him on was fined $50. The punishments were chronicled in a Knox Student article that was deliberately titled with a play on words: "J-Board See More Cases."
Also in 1989-1990, a popular prank in "the Ghetto" was to "penny" a room resident in his room by using a claw hammer to wedge a door severely against its frame and then insert a stack of several pennies into that gap. The effect would be that a door latch would be unable to turn, and the student in his room would be unable to leave. Things turned, however, when the most popular person who would penny people in his room was himself pennied in his room while he was in his room with a freshman female student. In the end, a residential advisor (RA) from Seymour 3A had to come down the hall with a hammer to let this angry Ghetto resident out of his room. Once the pennies fell, the RA (who ran track anyhow), Randy Strickland, sprinted back to Seymour 3A. The student who had been locked in his room emerged screaming, "I'm pissed!" At one point, several brave Ghetto residents tried to calm him down, saying to "keep this in perspective." "Respect?" the student exclaimed. "Respeeeeeeect?" "No, no, *perspective*," one insisted.
1990-91[edit]
The "Ghetto" was shut down for an entire year while it was being renovated by the college.
1991-92[edit]
The "Ghetto" reopened as a freshman dorm.
2004-05[edit]
In 2004-05, residents of Seymour 3B broke into the Oak Room, stole a 5-gallon container of ice cream, and pushed the Grab-n-go cart down the stairs.
They poured a bottle of rum into the ice cream and ate it.
2005-06[edit]
The 2005-06 school year was yet another prolific year in Seymour 3B's history. Memorable events from this year include: burning the letters "KC" in 3 foot letters in the hall carpet, Everclear extravaganzas, rampant drug abuse(most notably psychedelics and stimulants), spraying a room down with the fire extinguisher, converting the fire extinguisher alcove into an ash tray, the breaking of the shower curtains, and the breaking of the emergency lights, the drinking of blood, a communal bike, among other things.
2006-07[edit]
Responsible for more fire alarms then they would like to admit, the 2006-07 residents seem to have a problem with...incense. And popcorn. These guys were responsible for the escalation of the Seymour Wars, by duck taping, roping off and shaving creaming most of Seymour 2's doors, for really no apparent reason. The Seymour 2 response was the creation of the Seymour Defender which, uh, really didn't do anything besides get a Wiki Fire page.
2007-08[edit]
This year has seen a change in deportment and disposition of the Floor denizens. Much of the ballyhooed mayhem and misbehavior of past year has gone the way of the Dodo. The 07/08 crew is quieter, smarter, and more refined than past years. Nonetheless, party people are welcome as always, as is free substance, be it Monster, Wonster, or Fronster.
Residents:
The 2007-08 residents are a surprisingly classy group, despite the reputation of 3B's "Ghetto" status.
2013-14[edit]
A mixture of quiet introverts and outgoing party boys, the 13-14 class of Seymour 3B provided an interesting flare to the suites already colorful history. Rumors flew wild that the suite was responsible for the infamous 'flooding' pranks, in which the large suite trashcans we filled to the brim with water and leaned against the doors of Seymour 2 residents, causing the cans to tip over and flood the rooms upon opening.
Residents:
- Adrian Secter (RA)
- Paul Sanders
- Daniel Hai
- Daniel Miller
- Daniel Ives
- Daniel Mateling
- Edward Lehar
- Jakub Dulak
- Dennis Ortman
- Carl Voss
- Sean Treacy
- Ali Merchant
- Torrence Abel
- Liam Lindberg
- Uduak Ekanem
- Alex Bell
- Alec Jordan
- Brandon Dempsey
- Andrew Richter
- Aakash Desai
- Will Frohling
- Trevor Follis
- Rich Thomsen
- Ryan Weitendorf
- Eric Wildsmith
Note:Will, Eric, Alec, Alex and Liam all left 3B before the end of the year, whereas Trevor joined the roster during Spring term.
Bourgeois[edit]
Feeling that it was imperative to assert their classiness to the rest of Knox, the men of Seymour 3B held a classy party. It essentially entailed drinking Franzia and other assorted drinks out of wine glasses, standing around, listening to Medeski, Martin, and Wood, and getting busted by security.
Traditions[edit]
Seymour 3B traditionally fucks shit up.
Snow penis[edit]
Most years, when it snows enough to stick (and pack), Seymour 3B boys make a roughly human-sized penis out of snow on the roof of Seymour Union (usually on the roof of the caf).
