Flunk Day 2014

The theme of Flunk Day 2014 will be "80's". That's not true. ---> OhEmGee, that's SO true. -----> Nope. The theme of Flunk Day 2014 is WILD WILD FLUNK.

Consult your literature for the reading of the day of the flunk. Flunk Day 2013

January 6

It is rumored that the five feet of snow on the ground is the work of the Flunk Day planners, but Xavier Romano and Roger Taylor have not yet been spotted with their 5-foot bongs, so no correlation is likely. CORRELATION IS ALWAYS LIKELY

11:24 AM FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED. Classes, administrative functions, and public events have all been cancelled on the website. THIS COULD BE HUGE? HAPPY FLUNK!

January 7

11:45pm Theresa Amott and Rodger Taylor seen ripping their homemade snowbong outside the Quickie.

12:17am Tony Gant spreading rumors that the heating is still down on campus. . .Coldpocolypse Part II?

February 16

11:20 pm The Founders of the committee Students For Flunk Day Truth reunite, in secret, in the steam pipe tunnels beneath the heart of campus for precisely 5 minutes and 55 seconds.

Sigma Nu held their chapter meeting an hour early today. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW XD XD XD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 9

Soon, my pretties, soon. The day of flunk shall be upon us. As the snow melts and the campus takes its much needed Spring Parting, the flunk gods are busy preparing for the festivus.

March 26

Our time of absence - Spring Break - hath hastily departed this world. Verily, spring term is upon us, and as it begins, so doth the Flunk. Clutch tightly to the warm embrace of the WikiFire lest thee be caught by that most pernicious evil - the scare.

--->Thank you, oh great creative writing majors at Knox ---> I'm a CS major

March 27

AFTER THE FIRST SENIOR MEETING? SENIORS ALREADY DRUNK. PROBS FLUNK DAY

April 8

Travis, Bethany, and Wiktoria spotted walking back from a meeting together in a jovial mood...flunk day tomorrow?????

April 15

Theresa Amott came to me in a dream and told me Flunk Day would be today. She said, "The early Flunk Day catches the worm." BAM, THERE IT IS.

Tax day is today. Therefore no flunk.

At 2:46 pm Deb Southern sent the Flunk Email. She warns the pleebs to not "be fooled". <-- Confirmed!!!

Blessed are those who prepare for the flunk. Prepare your altars with your wine and your sustenance. Do not forget to partake in the water that which will quench thy thirst and allow thee to carry on as the spirit of the flunk enters you.

A friendly helpful reminder from the flunk of yesteryear and the scriptures of the 13th year: The Rules of the Flunk: 1. Thou shalt forever proclaim "Tomorrow is Flunk Day" even when thou knowest it to be false 2. Thou shalt encourage thy fellow flunkers in the excitement of the Flunk, not crusheth their dreams 3. Thou shalt make silly and ridiculous proclamations such as "Trains were heard. Tomorrow is Flunk." on the WikiFire 4. Thou shalt love the Flunk scares for they bring about the anticipation of the Flunk 5. Thou shalt never give up hope for Flunk The breakage of any above rule results in the loss of Flunk Spirit by not only your own unfortunate soul, but by the entire campus. Be a jolly Flunker, friends. Be a jolly Flunker.

April 16

Mean Girls is on Netflix. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <--- Confirmed. On Wednesdays we flunk.

The Flunk Day email came out yesterday, 4/15. This means that yesterday, "tomorrow is flunk day" commenced. Therefore, TODAY is Flunk Day!!!

April 17

5:06pm. Flunk Day planners spotted in the cafe. They are intensely talking amongst themselves.

COULD IT BE FLUNK DAY?!

April 21

The Flunk Day email was sent out and the suite meetings are being done Flunk Day Must be this Day!

Steve Selwa just bought his stash for Flunk Day. Flunk Day is tomorrow. (ie, today)

Wonderbread truck spotted outside the caf. Flunk bun delivery?

2:30pm Saw two large unmarked semis parked at Discount Liquor, obvi Flunk supplies!

All the planners have been busy around campus this week, they seem to be completing homework in advance so they can put the finishing touches on Flunk plans for this Monday! Get your supplies ready!

I work in the cafeteria and at work yesterday I noticed many unlabeled boxes in one of the larger refrigerators; MUST BE FLUNK FOOD

This day is lookin' pretty good... Not many events on the College Events Calendar... this day is lookin' VERY good --> ONLY a dance workshop. Schedule way after the planned date for flunk day. MUST BE FLUNK DAY -> um that dance workshop person cost $5000 to bring here. I don't think the administration would want to mess that up.

Union Board and the Knox administration has been attempting to get rid of the mud pit. Tomorrow is early enough to catch mud pit diggers off guard. Furthermore, the weather is supposed to be amazing. THIS COULD BE HUGE.

FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED

3:33pm All copies of TKS mysteriously missing. Flunk conspiracy? Must be.

4:57pm Travis seen returning from Green Oaks!! Enjoying some final free time before the FINAL FLUNK?!?! <-- confirmed!

9:15PM Spotted at Hyvee on Henderson: Seniors getting containers for their special flunk day potions.

Someone needs to start driving around! Are the Flunk Day rides here?! <-- 9:29 unmarked semis still in parking lot from earlier. THIS COULD BE HUGE!!

9:35PM Check the mail room later tonight! If the windows are covered, that's when you know. <-- mailroom has a glass door now, so covering that would be HIGHLY suspicious!

9:46PM No more weekly menus available on my.knox or the website. Must be because we're not supposed to know what FLUNK FOOD there will be! This IS huge!

10:00PM Spotted: Seniors getting into at least 3 different cars going somewhere... 4/20 snack time or flunk day prep? Why not both?

10:26pm SO MANY SENIORS HAVE FLUNK PICS FOR THEIR FACEBOOKS. They're on to something. <-- three years of Flunking. They know stuff. <--- Alumni also changing pictures to flunk. They must know. <--- CONFIRMED. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!

11:30PM Campus safety parking lot has more cars than usual... Maybe a last minute flunk safety meeting??

11:46PM Loud music and people at the Quickie. Goldie already partying for flunk?

12:30 AM Trains were heard. I repeat: Trains. Were. Heard. Tomorrow, we flunk.

1:22 AM LIGHTS ARE ON IN THE MAIL ROOM AND THE CAF LOADING DOCK! WORKERS SEEN LEAVING AND COMING IN!!!!!

1:51am LIGHTS ALSO ON IN THE HEATING PLANT! and the Galesburg police department has a car parked outside Campus Safety! They must be reinforcing for the flunk!!!

6:13 AM My mom says go back to sleep...

April 22

4/22, man. I just ate a brownie and heard people shouting about Flunk Day outside Conger/Neale. It must be true.

9:00 PM Someone is yelling it is flunk day in between Post and Fourname, quite the early scare or a Nostradamus prediction?

10:50 PM Eric Vogel seen buying two bags of spinach from the C-Store. Clearly stocking up on flunk day snacks. <--- Eric doesn't know anything about Flunk Day, he is not a reliable source. The cake is a lie. <--- He could be a spy. Arms. <--- CONFIRMED. Eric has nice arms.

11:16 PM Cassie McLaughlin gets a Union Board email and won't tell anyone what it's about.

11:22 PM Coltan Parker Facebook messaged Helmut and asked about Flunk Day. Coltan won't say it's tomorrow, but it's probably tomorrow. <--- Someone check with Coltan, this seems out of character for him. i'm callin bullshit <--- lie, Coltan says its Flunk tomorrow time to get tipsy <---- confirmed

11:25 PM The quads are quiet. too quiet. flunk is in the air. that is the only plausible explanation. <--- CONFIRMED. Caitlin Rochau is still awake even though it's past her bedtime.

11:31 PM There is a train passing by, there is a train in every Western movie. The theme is Wild Wild West. Flunk Day is tomorrow.

11:32 PM I'm sacrificing my sanity to the flunk gods so tomorrow has to be flunk day

April 23

04/03 3:06 PM Deeply, deeply suspicious activity from admissions makes this date seem possibly. Why else would their calendar say this is "FALL INSTITUTE" and that no classroom visits, interviews, or tours will take place???--Okay, so now Admissions says it was a "copy/paste problem" BUT STILL. SUSPICIOUS. Screenshot available at http://bit.ly/PoiGZs

Too early, says a senior.

This is Bethany's mother's birthday- must be flunk day, says another senior.

Professional photographer on campus this week! Must be for Flunk Dayyyyyyyy!

April 28

There is literally nothing on the events calendar. Just pre-enrollment and writer's block. This would be a great day to flunk. Everyone knows last week of April is popular.

According to Schwartzman, they moved a really flunking important ENVS speaker from this day to sometime in may because "Teresa wouldn't be able to make it." We all know Teresa will be firing up the bong with Roger Taylor all day because THIS IS THE DAY OF FLUNK. <--Can we put this on the t-shirt?

I heard Student Senate President Philip Bennett knows that today will be Flunk Day. He might be one of the secret planners. CONFIRMED!!! SIGHTED: Talking to Kristine Ilagan in the library yesterday whilst eating strawberries. Mind blow.

CONFIRMING EVIDENCE: I was talking to one of the Alumni Hall construction workers today, and he was telling me how he needs to take a couple days off, but his manager told him that he should wait until the beginning of next week (Monday), since they would have that day off anyway. FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK!

Highly likely, Earth Week will be over and a majority of midterms will have happened already...

As it gets closer, Leandra's "flunky sense" ("spidey sense" for Flunk Day) will kick in more, but currently she thinks this is 2 days too early. She is a senior, and her flunky sense has never been wrong.

April 29

Flunk day is today. Watch it play out in front of you. If today is bad for whatever reason, It will be held May 13th but only if something catastrophic happens. May 13th and 14th are backup days for April 29th. Watch.

April 31

03/25 9:25 PM Knox student Will Shen, posts on Facebook that he, "heard the Flunk Day is on April 31st! Cheers!" <-------CONFIRMED, IT'S ON FACEBOOK

I guess 2014 is a leap year with the leap day being April 31.

Bethany knows how to warp space time and will flunk on April 31 with or without the rest of us. Evidence here: http://tinypic.com/r/5ovwab/8

May 1

Flunk Day was on May 1st the last two years, Teresa Amott is trying to normalize flunk day

                  it's my birthday. The flunk gods have been on my side for the past 2 years. Let's continue this trend, please.

CINCO DE FLUNKO

Rumor has it that the Neuro Rats have already begun wearing sombreros in anticipation <--CONFIRMED!

There is also nothing on the events calendar. And wouldn't wild wild flunk be totally applicable to Cinco de Mayo?

I prayed to the flunk gods last year that this would be the date of the Flunk shenanigans.

May 9

Because JPow says so. <--FALSE!!! JPow's predictions are always after flunk. <----- Confirmed. I don't know why he doesn't start making earlier predictions.

JPOW always picks this day, next year it is a Saturday. Start stocking up now

May 13

I put my raffle guess in for this day. Therefore, flunk day. (I really want that tablet you guys) <--- Self-fulfilling prophecy? This could be HUGE