Flunk Day 2009
Track the (sometimes) elusive Flunk Day throughout Spring term.
Contents
An IMPORTANT MESSAGE about using this page!
Hey all of you lovely wiki users, it's time we had a talk about talking. I've bet you've seen people talking to each other using something like this:
It's flunk day tomorrow! <------ You're a moron! <----- Fuck you!
Well this really mucks up the page. You see, we all want to keep tabs on Flunk Day, so we need to keep our info clear and free of this kind of stuff. But there's a solution! See the "discussion" tab at the top of this page? Go there! Go on! Go to it! Use it to discuss, berate, argue, call out, insult and congratulate.
But please, please let's keep THIS page pure. Let it be full of quality 100% unadulterated flunk day information. The better it is the better our odds of figuring out just when the mysterious day will be.
--Mattbaker 15:07, 30 April 2009 (CDT)
Flunk Day Map! Track shit!
Track suspicious locations and clues around Galesburg. Place a pin and a description. Open to all (have to log in with your gmail account).
When Do YOU think Flunk Day will be?
A handy poll!
http://www.learnmyself.com/poll3981x320049Da
Is it Flunk Day yet?
Traditionally, close monitoring of lawn-mowing and the whereabouts of potential friars can lead to a general impression as to when Flunk Day may occur. However, this year the student body can take extra steps to ensure they know, without a doubt, when Flunk Day might, perhaps, possibly occur.
Admissions
A more accurate prediction may in fact be possible if there exists a member of the Admissions Office (student Ambassadors will do) who can relay details about the touring/visitation schedule. Empty days are less likely than one would think. Days involving large groups of guests from one location (ie. school or youth groups), and days where descriptions of visitors are mildly vague, are more telling. Large groups and vague visitations have been known to be scheduled on the big day, such was the case on Flunk Day 2006.
EMT class
The EMT class does not know, nor does the ambulance service. Having taken the class last year and now currently employed there, seriously...they don't know and I'm extremely upset about it.
Online calendar additions
For those who check the Events Calender daily (as all Flunk Day enthusiasts should) be sure to notice any changes that occur in the schedule from week to week. It will probably be most effective to memorize every days' events for the months of April and May each morning before class, so that detection of said changes may be easier.
Note that the calendar is not bound by the honor code; some events may be made up. Additionally, even though a sports event may be scheduled, Flunk Days have occurred when the softball team has had a game, or the golf team has had a tournament.
Helmut
If, by some chance, you happen to be out getting drunk with Helmut, try asking him when it is.
Parking lots, and Residents
On occasion, several large vehicles (trailers and such) have been spotted in parking lots around Galesburg, the day before Flunk Day. If you have a car, its best to do a scouting of the large parking lots around town daily. Often the residents of Galesburg get an idea its Flunk Day before the campus does. Residents have noted seeing parking lots full of these vehicles, strange goings-on at Wal-Mart, and other activities indicative of a "large drunken orgy" of sorts. When the petting zoos, and carnival equipment roll into town, the residents notice.
Pammy
Keep close tabs on Pam. This is key. Do not believe one word that she says. she can not be trusted.
Roger and Anne Taylor
Rumor has it the Taylors are not usually around for the big day. Past absences have included trustee meetings and trips to the farm. Being familiar with their schedules can be informative. When asked today (Sunday, May 3) by a visiting student if leaving campus Wednesday morning would cause her (the student) to miss Flunk Day, Anne insisted she has absolutely no idea when Flunk Day is. According to her, she and Roger "have to work anyway, so it doesn't really matter."
Tuesday, May 5
"El Dia de Flunk" is for sure a convincing sign that Flunk Day could happen on this day, but Xavier is not the man to drop hints. Clear schedule yes, but perhaps we are being short sighted. We can be sure that Flunk day will not happen on a Thursday (as the day of happening tends to vary from year to year) so the prospect of Tuesday cannot be denied. However the likeliness is lessened because of the Karen Hawkinson is running an event. Don't cross Karen Hawkinson.
It is nearly certain that an apprehension of Pam, wherein she becomes inebriated and is subject to a fair amount of nitrous oxide, will reveal if May 5th is the day.
Jon Wagner mysteriously changed his ANSO 231 field trip to Cahokia from this day to the following tuesday due to an unexplained conflict..<--This is not true. The trip was always scheduled for the following Tuesday. Also, they are going to Dickson Mounds, not Cahokia.
Let's keep in mind that there is an art department field trip to Chicago on this day, and that this trip is planned in accordance with flunk day (at least, that's what has been the case every year before this one). Mark Holmes also told his Art 351 class that the Art Dept. made sure that Flunk Day was not on this day, as it would cost the Dept. thousands of dollars if students did not go on the trip (as buses are rented for the trip.)
Also, Tri Delta has the Oak Room reserved for their Pansy Dinner in which many alums are coming in. Honestly, this is a serious event and why would Dining Services book this day if it was Flunk Day? The dinner was scheduled after Flunk Day was planned, meaning Dining Services would have known they would not be available to cater the dinner because they would be busy with the all-campus picnic meals. Tri Delta requested this week for the dinner, and Dining Services finalized the day. Clearly they would not have chosen Flunk Day.
4/29, 2:54 PM: It may be a fluke, but there was a DOUBLE NEGATIVE in the Safety Email this year... I quote.
Myth: Flunk Day and Cinco de Mayo are not one in (sic) the same...get a clue!
Which translates to:
Fact: Flunk day and Cinco de Mayo are one and the same...get a clue!
Whoa. Confirmation? Check your email, Knoxians. This could be huge.
How is that a double negative? <-- "Myth .... not" is logically similar to "Fact .... is".
I spotted this, too, and emailed Xavier. Here is his response.
"Hmmm...excellent point. I have to reflect on that.
Best and thank you!
Xavier
From: Sam Martone <amartone@knox.edu>
Sent: Wednesday, April 29, 2009 2:23 PM
To: Xavier Romano <xromano@knox.edu>
Subject: dearest Xavier
Hello,
While I am excited to see the Myths/Facts/Rules email go out, I have one concern:
"_Myth_: Flunk Day and Cinco de Mayo are not one in the same...get a clue!"
The way this statement is constructed suggests that it IS a myth that FD and CdM are NOT one and the same, thus insinuating that Flunk Day is in fact on Cinco de Mayo this year. As one of the many who believe Cinco de Mayo is not Flunk Day, can we get some clarification of this myth (or is it supposed to be a fact)?
Sincerely,
Sam Martone, '11"
Take from it what you will.
12:46 100% confirmation from Professor Gilbert that Flunk Day will absolutely NOT be tomorrow owing to the very real Art Department field trip to Chicago. That is all.
8:30pm Are we really assuming that one field trip will stop all of Flunk Day? The field trip could still go on with Flunk Day - we just don't know if anyone will still want to go. Sports games have gone on - surely field trips to Chicago will too. Greg Gilbert does not speak for all of us!<---Anyone who would not allow Greg Gilbert to speak for them on any and every subject is a veritable Fool. Come on people! Where's your faith?! Hasn't anyone been stalking Xavier today? Have we any plans to drive around at 2 am looking for mysterious trucks parked at the Vista motel? I demand that we stay up all night speculating and not doing our homework! Where are all the first years insisting Xavier's messages of "El Dia de Flunk" meant something!?!?! Why aren't they all drinking at this very moment? We want Flunk day! Go out (or keep updating here) and show that you want it! <--------- The point is that the field trip was scheduled around Flunk day. It's not that Flunk can't be Tuesday because of the field trip, it's that the field trip is Tuesday because it is not Flunk day.
9:46 pm. The Environmental Racism field trip was scheduled way in advance in 2007, yet Flunk Day fell on that day. The Art Department Field Trip was scheduled like two weeks ago. Either way, I'm totally down for it being tomorrow.
9:55- Santa is real. Flunk day is tomorrow.
10:15 p.m. - Art Department field trip is canceled [Citation Needed]
10 25 pm- Confirmation for Art field trip NEEDED.
10:30 pm - a lot of people have been saying that Pam is drunk.. a lot. Could it be that Pam carries around a flask at all time snickering to herself about how many people she is throwing off the flunk day trail. Also, if there still is said field trip, I have been told a lot that you don't fuck with the art department.. you just don't *shivers*
10 37 : Confirmed motherfuckers..THE ART FIELD TRIP IS STILL ON.. flunk day is not tomorrow
EMAIL FROM GREG!
From: Greg Gilbert <ggilbert@knox.edu> Sent: Monday, May 4, 2009 10:06 PM To: undisclosedrecipients Subject: Art excursion tomrrow
Hello all,
I'm sorry to say that tomorrow's trip is canceled. <---- Fake. I am in the class that is going on the art field trip and didn't get this email.
THIS IS HUGE!
10:34 pm- G Gilbert JUST emailed me about class stuff, and if the art field trip was canceled he would have mentioned it.
Week of May 3rd
There is a high concentration of flunk day occurrences during this week, observe:
* 2008 May 1 * 2003 May 6 * 2001 May 7 * 2007 May 8
May 2009
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
X 2
3 4 5 X X X 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31
Further indication that, statistically, Flunk Day will fall within this week.
Wednesday, May 6
Calender reveals that the Graduate Record Exam Prep Course is scheduled for today. Do not be fooled. When has Knox ever put the GRE before the Flunk?
It is the day of the Blood Drive. This would really piss off the American Red Cross.
(And make May 5th even more of a possibility)
There is a field trip for Comparative Politics too... That department would flip their shit if Flunk Day was planned on this day
- Whatever, I'd get over it real quick. Forget them. Comparative what? ۞
Kitchen staff say it's most likely not Wednesday, one of them said it's definitely not and another said they guessed there's a 75% chance that it's not Flunk Day on Wednesday. <----the kitchen staff doesn't know when flunk day is. they get called at 4:30AM on the day of.
Thursday, May 7
Fall Out Boy is a great diversion from the fact that May 7th is the most likely candidate for flunk day, period. The only thing of note is a talk by an alumnus who, when notified that May 7th is Flunk Day, will be most definitely cool with it having experienced several Flunk Days himself. Also note that Flunk Day *has occurred* when speakers are scheduled to visit. May 7th also has no games schedule. So that's that. See you all in the mud pit this Thursday.
I know everyone's holding their ground that FD can't be a Thursday, but posters are up for a Fall Out Boy concert sponsored by Union Board and several regular UB members have said they know nothing about it.
The Fall Out Boy posters are clearly fake, that's why Union Board members don't know about it. The posters don't even give a location, and Knox could not afford Fall Out Boy. It is laughable to think one of the biggest pop-rock bands (who doesn't even have a very large fan base on this campus) would be brought in. Especially considering the day in question they are on tour between Canada and Michigan. And playing stadiums that could hold fifty Knox Colleges.
UNCONFIRMED: Email from Xavier to student confirms Fall Out Boy is coming on May 7th.
It is worth noting that everyone knew about a Lucky Boys Confusion concert last year, and it happened to be on Flunk Day.<--It is also worth noting that, while this is true, Union Board also publicly promoted the Lucky Boys Confusion concert. Why would they act like they didn't know about Fall Out Boy? Because someone is pulling everyone's legs. <--- Why would they act like they didn't know about Fall Out Boy? 2 possible explanations: 1. They actually don't know, and only Secret Flunk Day planners know (but will also act like they don't know, so we won't know it's Flunk Day) or 2. They do know, but are acting like they don't know so we won't know it's Flunk Day, like we knew last year with Lucky Boys. Duh.<---Why make posters then? Why not just keep it a complete secret? How were they able to afford such a big act? Why is Fall Out Boy driving 500 miles out of the way to play at a college campus of 1350 students? I say Tim Lovett's pulling a fast one on us.
FALL OUT BOY IS NOT COMING. <-- Oh, really..?<--Yes, really. Anyone who believes this is, frankly, either stupid or in denial.
Confirmation of the Fall Out Boy concert has been received from both Xavier and the veloceraptor coalition. They are most definitely coming. The question remains however: Would they really pull another Lucky Boys Confusion on us, or is this a red herring? <--THIS IS CLEARLY A LIE. Why would Universal Studios have anything to do with concert booking for Fall Out Boy? THEY DON'T.<-- Who said anything about Universal Studios?<---It was deleted, but someone said Universal confirmed their concert here. <-- Everything Xavier does is to keep us off track of Flunk Day. So either a) Fall Out Boy is coming, b) Fall Out Boy is not coming, c) Fall Out Boy is a ruse, d) He just wants us to THINK it's a ruse and they really WILL be coming on Flunk Day just like LBC did last year, I mean, the last thing we would think they would do is something they've done before, right? or e) Roger, Xavier, and Dean Bailey in a Final Flunk hurrah will dress up as Fall Out Boy beside the Mud Pit and sing "Sugar We're Goin Down".
Read the most recent edition of TKS. It addresses this vital issue.
The "Where The Wild Things Are" poster got Fall Out Boy sued two years ago. It was for their WIld Young Things tour around that time. Come on people, this is a fake poster.
Fall Out Boy is an anagram for " A Folly To Buy." Coincidence? Doubtful. <--Not possible! The Y is used twice. Now its "A Foolly Tub". Coincidence? Methinks not!
7:30 PM Xavier spotted walking with a couple students toward CFA. Overheard saying the following: "the strain we have here is a mellower strain." Could he be talking about his extra dank Flunk Day stash? Is the 4-foot bong coming out of its year-long hibernation for FLUNK DAY TOMORROW? Or is Friday just out of the picture?
He strain he is referring to is Swine Flu (H1N1) variant Flunk Day Fever (H1F1).
Now Natalie Imbruglia is supposedly scheduled to play. A long-since-famous late 90's pop star wouldn't dare play a little-ol' midwestern liberal arts college unless it were for a super-secret, special day, would she?
It appears now that Wang Chung is to play Knox in preparation for their upcoming Regeneration 80's tour along with ABC, Berlin, Cutting Crew, and Heaven 17. Everybody have fun tonight.
2:15 PM Now that Jenn Snider has confirmed Union Board could not afford to pay Fall Out Boy enough money to play hundreds of miles out of the way of their tour, it seems clear what these posters mean: Spondaic Buttons, the notorious Steak Haus band comprised of Jimmy Pittman, Willi Goehring, Ernie LoBue, and Jake Whipple, will be dressing up as Fall Out Boy and performing half-hearted covers of the band's most popular songs. Highlights should include "Sugar, We're Going Down," "It's Not a Scene It's an Arms Race," and "America's Suitehearts (Remix)," in which Abe Zumwalt or Timothy Lovett are likely candidates to perform Lil' Wayne's portions of the song.
Can't be Flunk Day because of the Dance Show.<--No one really cares. There are always scheduling conflicts. If they don't mind scheduling Flunk Day when there's a Golf tourney or baseball/softball day, they aren't going to give a flying raptor about a Dance Show. SOL Buddy.
The Admissions office sent out an e-mail requesting a lunch host for a prospective student: THURSDAY, May 7th, 2009, at NOON:
Lindsey Alcocer Tucson, AZ Education <---- her major interest is humanities. and if it is flunk day, then track AND golf AND dancers get fucked big time.
A little googling tells us that she is a real person, so that probably argues against that being a cover-up. -Johnlane(http://catalinarotary.org/yealcocer.htm)
Looks like a Flunk Day cover-up...
There is supposed to be a big Journalism thing that includes people for the community...can anyone confirm?
Wednesday, May 13
Probably the last day Flunk Day could occur would be today. It generally does not happen this late (the latest it has been in approximately 6 years was Flunk Day 2007 on May 8th), none the less we know our friars like to feel original. They try to be tricky, we must always remember this. Some might say today isn't likely because of the NCAA Golf Tournament in Florida (Golf got screwed last year so they won't get screwed this year), however, it is important to remember that many a sports team has been royally fucked over in the past (see Flunk Day 2007 and Flunk Day 2008). Additionally, there is a GRE prep course which barely matters (see Wednesday, May 6). In all likelihood Flunk Day will happen before this day, but we cannot rule it out. One thing is for sure, if you have not acquired the traditional alcohol stash by today, you're screwed.
The events calendar was updated and Union Board now has an event on this day... possibly the night event for Flunk Day? <---- I noticed this too. It seems likely. <---True, but everytime Union Board has brought a comedian to campus this year, it's been on a Wednesday. I think it's just an event; not related to Flunk Day. <--- This is not just a COMEDIAN! This is a comedian that performs MAGIC TRICKS! Not only that, but he was named ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR! (although no one quite knows who gave him that title). This is obviously a SPECIAL and UNUSUAL Wednesday!<----Holy shit, this better be Will Arnett!
Thursday, September 10
Xavier is just sneaky enough to have Flunk day next fall. The only event that day is convocation, which is likely just cover.
Conspiracy Theories
People, honestly, we can find SOMETHING on every day of the rest of the plausible Flunk Day dates that may mean that it can't be "that day." Obviously, somewhere along the lines, someone and/or something is going to get screwed over OR is fake. Deal with it.
IMPORTANT FLUNK DAY UPDATE: NO, SERIOUSLY: OVERHEARD IN THE CAF FROM CAF PEOPLE: Flunk Day will NOT BE until after Mother's Day!
There is quite plainly something in the water.
It's Swine Flu.
April 27
Monday, April 27 was obviously a high-level scare organized by some high-level Flunkistrators. There seems to be, according to observations very credibly posted on this very page, evidence of vehicles moving around between parking lots. There would also seem to be evidence that this page is being watched, if not also doctored, by those very same Flunkistrators. Therefore, beware! They are watching us, the vigilantes, just as much as we are watching them!
^Indeed. But the inevitability of Flunk Day means they can only hold out for so long. There are more of us than there are of them. Let's hope.
Given the periodic whitewashing that is occurring regarding velociraptor sightings and the late Sherwood Kiraly, we are faced with a horrifying likelihood: the velociraptors have learned to edit wikifire. Or, more likely, people are annoyed at the fact that others are being really stupid about raptors where others are actually trying to figure out if it is flunk day. Half of the fun is the anticipation, and the whole velociraptors crap is just stupid and annoying. <----- Velociraptor sympathizer. <----- Or just a velociraptor.<---Either way, that person/dinosaur sucks. The raptor jokes and death of Sherwood Kiraly were hilarious. Shame they were erased. <---- Couldn't agree more.
denied Yintense!
April 29
The data has been obscured and deleted numerous times. Of that we are certain. Whether this is due to penguins, velociraptors, tech-savvy Flunkistrators, or trollish first-years lacking in the "sense of humor" department remains purely speculative. <--- It's not trollish first-years, it's an inside job! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!
Rotund alumni is staying at Knoxville Super 8 (which is technically a Galesburg Super 8) and there is one truck here: it says, plainly, "furniture". He is suspecting today is not Flunk Day, and will now take off to Chicago to continue his decadent junket.
May 1
Fieldtrip to Farmland CANCELED because of SWINE FLU. Obviously Xavier invented SWINE FLU as an ENORMOUS COVER UP. May 1st is FLUNK DAY. <---- ok first off, that was planned for thursday apr 30 and secondly, it wasn't a fieldtrip it was seven students going to the plant for a project. Stop being lame and go work on some midterms.
Rumors of a Mos Def concert scheduled to be on campus Friday, May 1st. Last year Lucky Boys Confusion was used to cover up Flunk Day. Is the Mos Def Concert for real? Does anyone have proof? This could be huge. <--that is definitely false. they tried contacting him too late in the game.
Off the hint of the velociraptor shenanigans being an inside job, the following was found: "velociraptor awareness day - April 17. on this day, you should remember those who have been killed by velociraptors, watch your children closely, make a floor plan of your house(complete with emergency escape routes), and warn your neighbors about possible velociraptor entry points(picture windows, screen doors, sliding doors, any doors that aren't locked, garages, and chimneys)" (wikiality.com/velociraptors) TOO LATE, INSIDE JOBBERS.
If you have any questions, visit this website for more information: http://www.velociraptors.info/ It will undoubtedly address any of your concerns.
