Mary Reindl
She is an awesome girl. She's classy, sassy, and she's been to Australia. She's also a former cheerleader, proficient in basket-tossing and pyramid topping. Don't talk smack about her. You'll get beat up by her many allies, and also, she will give you that look. The Mary look. The look of Armageddon, the personification of all hope and God Himself abandoning you.
Her favorite band is Counting Crows. Her adoration of them extended as far as her attending their concert in the Apple Store in downtown Chicago with Marnie Shure. She had a splendid time.
As of Winter term, 2009, Mary no longer has a car. When her friends are desperate for a ride to Target, maybe to procure some emergency water balloons or something crackery, she is no longer there for you, even if the price is right. Gas is no longer expensive, guys.
Her cell phone contacts list is a veritible Who's Who of Knox College.
She speaks Spanish fluently, due to her rigorous studies of the language and also to salsa nights. Her favorite drink is margarita on the rocks. Don't even think about watching Disney movies with her.