Tunnels

The tunnels of Knox College are one of the college's most closely guarded secrets. Though not everyone is sure where they are, or even what they are, almost everyone has heard of them. While most may know of the maintenance basement of Post that streches across to the Quads, a privileged few have access to the truth.

Speculation often revolves around these theories:

• The tunnels are a subterranean network allowing the Tequila Monsters to escape from their secret underground lab in the SMC sub-basement once a year during Flunk Day, causing drunkeness and hallucinations on a massive scale.

• They lead to a hidden underground military bunker, and eventually through an interdimensional portal known only as 'the Pumphandle'.

• They are the result of a Cold War-era excavation attempt by Monmouth College to undermine the foundations of Old Main.

• They store the untold numbers of bongs, pipes, and bowls confiscated over the years by Campus Safety in a hidden warehouse, ala-Raiders of the Lost Ark.

The Truth is out there....