Sex

Sex is fun for everyone. Except if you're impotent. And yet there seems to be very little sex going on at Knox for a college of its size. This could be due to the lower-than-average level of attractiveness and the astounding ratio of women to men. But studies conducted by Heather Hoffman indicate that it is actually a result of the Knox awkward effect.

Knox is a small college, so if you have sex often, chances are good that someone you had sex with has had sex with someone who has had sex with someone you've had sex with.

If you are gay, lesbian or bisexual or have had sex with someone who is, you may have had sex with someone who has had sex with someone you've had sex with.

Knox's Sexual Scavenger Hunt

(do it in these places before you graduate!)

1. Founders
2. The Bowl
3. The Red Room
4. The Caf
5. Radio Station
6. Mailroom
7. Jail Cells
8. Harbach Stage
9. Studio Grid
10. Alumni Hall
11. Practice Rooms in CFA
12. Gizmo Patio
13. Center for Intercultural Life
14. Security Golf Cart
15. Aux gym
16. Old Main classrooms, at night
17. The Lincoln Chair (for bonus points)*

• Note: Fucking in the Lincoln Chair may result in the fuckers being haunted by any and all of the ghosts of Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth, Stephen A. Douglas, and countless emancipated slaves. It can be a bit intimidating to fornicate in the Lincoln Chair, because you are taking the place of the many great people who have come before you.