Flunk Day 2014
The theme of Flunk Day 2014 will be "80's". That's not true. ---> OhEmGee, that's SO true. -----> Nope. The theme of Flunk Day 2014 is WILD WILD FLUNK.
Consult your literature for the reading of the day of the flunk. Flunk Day 2013
Contents
January 6
It is rumored that the five feet of snow on the ground is the work of the Flunk Day planners, but Xavier Romano and Roger Taylor have not yet been spotted with their 5-foot bongs, so no correlation is likely. CORRELATION IS ALWAYS LIKELY
11:24 AM FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED. Classes, administrative functions, and public events have all been cancelled on the website. THIS COULD BE HUGE? HAPPY FLUNK!
January 7
11:45pm Theresa Amott and Rodger Taylor seen ripping their homemade snowbong outside the Quickie.
12:17am Tony Gant spreading rumors that the heating is still down on campus. . .Coldpocolypse Part II?
February 16
11:20 pm The Founders of the committee Students For Flunk Day Truth reunite, in secret, in the steam pipe tunnels beneath the heart of campus for precisely 5 minutes and 55 seconds.
Sigma Nu held their chapter meeting an hour early today. FLUNK DAY IS TOMORROW XD XD XD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 9
Soon, my pretties, soon. The day of flunk shall be upon us. As the snow melts and the campus takes its much needed Spring Parting, the flunk gods are busy preparing for the festivus.
March 26
Our time of absence - Spring Break - hath hastily departed this world. Verily, spring term is upon us, and as it begins, so doth the Flunk. Clutch tightly to the warm embrace of the WikiFire lest thee be caught by that most pernicious evil - the scare.
--->Thank you, oh great creative writing majors at Knox ---> I'm a CS major
March 27
AFTER THE FIRST SENIOR MEETING? SENIORS ALREADY DRUNK. PROBS FLUNK DAY
April 8
Travis, Bethany, and Wiktoria spotted walking back from a meeting together in a jovial mood...flunk day tomorrow?????
April 15
Theresa Amott came to me in a dream and told me Flunk Day would be today. She said, "The early Flunk Day catches the worm." BAM, THERE IT IS.
Tax day is today. Therefore no flunk.
At 2:46 pm Deb Southern sent the Flunk Email. She warns the pleebs to not "be fooled". <-- Confirmed!!!
Blessed are those who prepare for the flunk. Prepare your altars with your wine and your sustenance. Do not forget to partake in the water that which will quench thy thirst and allow thee to carry on as the spirit of the flunk enters you.
A friendly helpful reminder from the flunk of yesteryear and the scriptures of the 13th year: The Rules of the Flunk: 1. Thou shalt forever proclaim "Tomorrow is Flunk Day" even when thou knowest it to be false 2. Thou shalt encourage thy fellow flunkers in the excitement of the Flunk, not crusheth their dreams 3. Thou shalt make silly and ridiculous proclamations such as "Trains were heard. Tomorrow is Flunk." on the WikiFire 4. Thou shalt love the Flunk scares for they bring about the anticipation of the Flunk 5. Thou shalt never give up hope for Flunk The breakage of any above rule results in the loss of Flunk Spirit by not only your own unfortunate soul, but by the entire campus. Be a jolly Flunker, friends. Be a jolly Flunker.
April 16
Mean Girls is on Netflix. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <--- Confirmed. On Wednesdays we flunk.
The Flunk Day email came out yesterday, 4/15. This means that yesterday, "tomorrow is flunk day" commenced. Therefore, TODAY is Flunk Day!!!
April 17
5:06pm. Flunk Day planners spotted in the cafe. They are intensely talking amongst themselves.
COULD IT BE FLUNK DAY?!
April 21
The Flunk Day email was sent out and the suite meetings are being done Flunk Day Must be this Day!
Steve Selwa just bought his stash for Flunk Day. Flunk Day is tomorrow. (ie, today)
Wonderbread truck spotted outside the caf. Flunk bun delivery?
2:30pm Saw two large unmarked semis parked at Discount Liquor, obvi Flunk supplies!
All the planners have been busy around campus this week, they seem to be completing homework in advance so they can put the finishing touches on Flunk plans for this Monday! Get your supplies ready!
I work in the cafeteria and at work yesterday I noticed many unlabeled boxes in one of the larger refrigerators; MUST BE FLUNK FOOD
This day is lookin' pretty good... Not many events on the College Events Calendar... this day is lookin' VERY good --> ONLY a dance workshop. Schedule way after the planned date for flunk day. MUST BE FLUNK DAY -> um that dance workshop person cost $5000 to bring here. I don't think the administration would want to mess that up.
Union Board and the Knox administration has been attempting to get rid of the mud pit. Tomorrow is early enough to catch mud pit diggers off guard. Furthermore, the weather is supposed to be amazing. THIS COULD BE HUGE.
FLUNK DAY CONFIRMED
3:33pm All copies of TKS mysteriously missing. Flunk conspiracy? Must be.
4:57pm Travis seen returning from Green Oaks!! Enjoying some final free time before the FINAL FLUNK?!?! <-- confirmed!
9:15PM Spotted at Hyvee on Henderson: Seniors getting containers for their special flunk day potions.
Someone needs to start driving around! Are the Flunk Day rides here?! <-- 9:29 unmarked semis still in parking lot from earlier. THIS COULD BE HUGE!!
9:35PM Check the mail room later tonight! If the windows are covered, that's when you know. <-- mailroom has a glass door now, so covering that would be HIGHLY suspicious!
9:46PM No more weekly menus available on my.knox or the website. Must be because we're not supposed to know what FLUNK FOOD there will be! This IS huge!
10:00PM Spotted: Seniors getting into at least 3 different cars going somewhere... 4/20 snack time or flunk day prep? Why not both?
10:26pm SO MANY SENIORS HAVE FLUNK PICS FOR THEIR FACEBOOKS. They're on to something. <-- three years of Flunking. They know stuff. <--- Alumni also changing pictures to flunk. They must know. <--- CONFIRMED. <--- THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!!
11:30PM Campus safety parking lot has more cars than usual... Maybe a last minute flunk safety meeting??
11:46PM Loud music and people at the Quickie. Goldie already partying for flunk?
12:30 AM Trains were heard. I repeat: Trains. Were. Heard. Tomorrow, we flunk.
12:40 PM MUD PIT SIGHTING. I REPEAT: MUDPIT SIGHTING. THREE SNUS SEEN RUNNING TO THE SACRED AREA WITH FIERCE DETERMINATION, SHOVELS IN HAND. FLUNK DAY TOMORROW.
1:22 AM LIGHTS ARE ON IN THE MAIL ROOM AND THE CAF LOADING DOCK! WORKERS SEEN LEAVING AND COMING IN!!!!!
1:51am LIGHTS ALSO ON IN THE HEATING PLANT! and the Galesburg police department has a car parked outside Campus Safety! They must be reinforcing for the flunk!!!
6:13 AM My mom says go back to sleep...
April 22
4/22, man. I just ate a brownie and heard people shouting about Flunk Day outside Conger/Neale. It must be true.
9:00 PM Someone is yelling it is flunk day in between Post and Fourname, quite the early scare or a Nostradamus prediction?
10:50 PM Eric Vogel seen buying two bags of spinach from the C-Store. Clearly stocking up on flunk day snacks. <--- Eric doesn't know anything about Flunk Day, he is not a reliable source. The cake is a lie. <--- He could be a spy. Arms. <--- CONFIRMED. "Eric has nice triceps." -Coltan Parker
11:10 PM C-Store open an extra few minutes for students stocking up on their last minute Flunk Stash. Flunk Day is obviously tomorrow.
11:16 PM Cassie McLaughlin gets a Union Board email and won't tell anyone what it's about.
11:22 PM Coltan Parker Facebook messaged Helmut and asked about Flunk Day. Coltan won't say it's tomorrow, but it's probably tomorrow. <--- Someone check with Coltan, this seems out of character for him. i'm callin bullshit <--- lie, Coltan says its Flunk tomorrow time to get tipsy <---- confirmed
11:25 PM The quads are quiet. too quiet. flunk is in the air. that is the only plausible explanation. <--- CONFIRMED. Caitlin Rochau is still awake even though it's past her bedtime.
11:31 PM There is a train passing by, there is a train in every Western movie. The theme is Wild Wild West. Flunk Day is tomorrow. <---- CONSPIRACY OR CONFIRMATION THAT TOMORROW IS THE DAY WE FLUNK???? THIS TOWN AINT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF EM
11:32 PM I'm sacrificing my sanity to the flunk gods so tomorrow has to be flunk day <--- Knox students are losing sanity due to midterms. THIS COULD BE HUGE. <--- Well-timed Flunk Day to give us a break before midterms??? PLEASE, FLUNK GODS!
There weather is going to be fantastic tomorrow THIS COULD BE HUGE!!!! <----- THE PLANNERS KNEW, TOMORROW IS FLUNK DAY <=== the Flunk Gods are smiling upon us! They look down in love
11:44 PM Local SMC rats spotted performing a seance in SMC basement for Abraham Lincoln: Oracle of Flunk Day. He confirmed that it is tomorrow. <--- CONFIRMED! Accept Abe the Babe as our new sheriff of Flunk Day.
C-Store workers heard discussing Flunk Day, this could be huge, it must be tomorrow
UNION BOARD SELLING TSHIRTS THIS WEEK! CLEVER COVER FOR FLUNK DAY????????<== CONFIRMED. They needed to start selling tshirts before the flunk they are starting it now as it is tomorrow <------- what a better way to stir up business than selling flunk shirts on flunk day????? FLUNK DAY'S TOMORROW
11:50 went on an early midnight stroll and saw suspicious activity in the caf, flunk day is tmrw
11:55 PM saw the Knoxstuck Avengers entering info onto the wiki fire for tomorrow. They are hella they know when flunk day is <----- they dont know what theyre talking about, imma need more proof than this <=== I walked by griffith one its true i saw them <--- False. They were busy aiding the Knox Squirrels in a Pre-Flunk train sacrifice. <---- their blinds have been closed since this post, they are obviously hiding
12:09 AM three large trucks spotted approaching campus, flunk supplies or just a coincidence????
12:37 AM Many Trucks seen in the hotel parking lot of the Best western. Oh. my. GOD. <=== FLUNK SUPPLIES IN TRANSIT, THIS IS HUGE
1:00 AM lights on in the caf, THIS IS NOT A DRILL
1:23 AM Seniors seen at Wal Mart getting last minute supplies...........
2:40 AM Campus Safety officer seemed focused while hurrying into Seymour. Flunk Day business???
April 23
04/03 3:06 PM Deeply, deeply suspicious activity from admissions makes this date seem possibly. Why else would their calendar say this is "FALL INSTITUTE" and that no classroom visits, interviews, or tours will take place???--Okay, so now Admissions says it was a "copy/paste problem" BUT STILL. SUSPICIOUS. Screenshot available at http://bit.ly/PoiGZs
2:22 pm: Open bottles of tequila and spiced rum found in the kitchen. Better start drinking now if you want to catch up to Helmut.
2:35 pm: OVERHEARD IN THE KITCHEN: "We're gonna need table skirts for the 6th." Flunk day?? Too early, says a senior.
This is Bethany's mother's birthday- must be flunk day, says another senior.
Professional photographer on campus this week! Must be for Flunk Dayyyyyyyy!
POSSIBLE CLUE: Helmut accidentally reveals in comment response that Flunk Day has a chance of rain and that plans have been made for this eventuality---thus narrowing down the possible dates. http://tinypic.com/r/oehck/8 <--- Not a clue. They're like the Boy Scouts: Always Prepared!
Union Board Selling Flunk Day T-Shirts... This could be it!
11:00 pm-- Got a snapchat from Bethany about leaving someplace. She wouldn't plan Flunk Day for a time she's coming back from out of town. Too much flunk to prepare!
April 24
If the Chemistry Gods are smiling on the Knox students, this thursday will be flunk day.
9:56 AM: my omelet was sadly lacking in eggs AND only folded in half. Caf workers too busy prepping the Flunk Day food?! 10:41 AM: FOOD DELIVERY TO SEYMOUR. FLUNK FOOD FLUNK FOOD FLUNK FOOD
1:14 pm: Travis left the game room in a chipper mood. Flunk tomorrow? <-- Travis is literally always in a chipper mood; what kind of evidence is this
The 24th is the opening of that show in Studio...would they do that to an honors project?
4:13 PM: Overheard in the Gizmo from Kathleen Drake "Tomorrow is going to be a long long day hehe..."
8:32 PM: Heard someone ask Junior planner Wiktoria whether flunk day is tomorrow, and she said "no". SHE IS SUPPOSED TO SAY YES! The only reason she would say no is if it really is tomorrow!
9:53 PM: All's quiet on the Midwestern Front...
9:57 PM: Leather Dad knows tomorrow will be Flunk Day <--- CONFIRMED!! but does leather dad even check the wikifire? <---- Hey there, leather day here. looking for nsa fun on flunk day. masc for masc. anal play in the mudpit.
10:00PM: "Senior meeting" is tonight. OH FUCK! THEY ARE PLANNING SOMETHING HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW!!!!!! They're at Sidetraxx tonight!
10:00pm, Kathleen Drake is still on campus. She looked stressed. I overheard her complaining about something not working out in the mail room. this could be huge.
10:13PM: Lights are on in the cafeteria kitchen. It's late to be working even for our hard working dining services crew. MUST MEAN THEY ARE WORKING TO GET B-FAST READY FOR 6AM
10:15 PM: I heard UB sold over 135 Flunk t-shirt today
10:19 PM: Goldie asked if I wanted to buy extra vodka tonight. He said I might need it soon and winked at me. This could be Huge! <-- does he even know when flunk day is? <--I saw Goldie buying a cowboy hat at walmart, he's getting prepared! He knows! <===== OF COURSE GOLDIE KNOWS WHEN FLUNK IS. HOW ELSE WOULD HE KNOW WHEN TO GET EXTRA SHIPMENTS IN
10:22PM CONGER-NEAL-ITES: DIG THE MUDPIT, IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL COME. No really though, you're ruining flunkday for everyone. <--confirmed. If you don't have an adequate mudpit by flunk day, the seniors will hate you. <--Truth, we'll tell all you're professors how horrible you are while we're drinking with them.
10:29 PM: Phil B is supposedly one of the secret Flunk Day planners, and I heard "he's pulling an all-nighter" to "get some things done tonight." <---Confirmed. I heard Phil was pledging fiji!!!!! <--- phil isn't pledging a frat.
10:44PM: James Wright-Lee spotted in the middle of the Prairie Plot
10:51 PM: The rain today should help you dig. It is earth week. Let the earth help you. Thank you, earth for being dope as fuck.
10:57 PM: There are no athletic events happening tomorrow. I repeat. NO ATHLETIC EVENTS SCHEDULED FOR TOMORROW
11:36 PM: THE MUDPIT STILL SUCKS! DIG DIG DIG!!!!!!!
3:00 PM: Off Campus Students HAVE confirmed that the company doing flunk day is ENTERTAINMENT AVENUE as they have used every year. These students have called them and have confirmed that Knox has been in touch. Once the company realized who they were, they would not release the date.
5:30 PM: Flunk day Planners seen eating dinner in the cafeteria.... FRIDAY FLUNK DAY
April 25
Flunk day scare at Green Oaks. Flunk day has to be next week
April 28
There is literally nothing on the events calendar. Just pre-enrollment and writer's block. This would be a great day to flunk. Everyone knows last week of April is popular. <---omg, pre-enrollment starts next week?!?!?!?
According to Schwartzman, they moved a really flunking important ENVS speaker from this day to sometime in may because "Teresa wouldn't be able to make it." We all know Teresa will be firing up the bong with Roger Taylor all day because THIS IS THE DAY OF FLUNK. <--Can we put this on the t-shirt? <---When are they selling t-shirts this year?
I heard Student Senate President Philip Bennett knows that today will be Flunk Day. He might be one of the secret planners. CONFIRMED!!! SIGHTED: Talking to Kristine Ilagan in the library yesterday whilst eating strawberries. Mind blow.
CONFIRMING EVIDENCE: I was talking to one of the Alumni Hall construction workers today, and he was telling me how he needs to take a couple days off, but his manager told him that he should wait until the beginning of next week (Monday), since they would have that day off anyway. FLUNK FLUNK FLUNK!
Highly likely, Earth Week will be over and a majority of midterms will have happened already...
As it gets closer, Leandra's "flunky sense" ("spidey sense" for Flunk Day) will kick in more, but currently she thinks this is 2 days too early. She is a senior, and her flunky sense has never been wrong.
It's Megan Beney's birthday. Boom. FLUNK.
We all know how much they LOVE a Monday Flunk Day. Seems pretty likely
Robert Turski is confident that this day is Flunk Day for uncited reasons. Ask him.
Who are the Flunk Day Planners? We need to follow the Flunk Day Planners!
Have you guys SEEN the mud pit since yesterday? Flunkin. Dat. Shit. Up.
April 29
Flunk day is today. Watch it play out in front of you. If today is bad for whatever reason, It will be held May 13th but only if something catastrophic happens. May 13th and 14th are backup days for April 29th. Watch.
QUICK CONSPIRACY THEORY! The Fray AND The Plain White Tees are playing in Peoria April 30th. Surprise musical guest? Surprise musical guest.
ALSO They don't have a concert on April 29th according to their tour schedule -> http://www.thefray.com/us/tour
ALSO ALSO The poster for the trip to Peoria mysteriously vanished on April 22nd. Flunk Day? <-- that's because they sold out no way they would pay for this!
This conspiracy theory was concocted by Michelle Secunda and Morgan Barton, so you know it's possible. Like. In the realm of reality possible.
April 30
Wednesday flunks are about as popular as Monday flunks. It's also close enough to May 1 to satisfy the planners.
there's an event with a visiting scholar.... could it be fake??? a decoy to throw us off course??
This is where (or rather, when) I would put my Monopoly money!
April 31
03/25 9:25 PM Knox student Will Shen, posts on Facebook that he, "heard the Flunk Day is on April 31st! Cheers!" <-------CONFIRMED, IT'S ON FACEBOOK
I guess 2014 is a leap year with the leap day being April 31.
Bethany knows how to warp space time and will flunk on April 31 with or without the rest of us. Evidence here: http://tinypic.com/r/5ovwab/8
Flunk Day does not exist, so there is no way it can be today.
May 1
Flunk Day was on May 1st the last two years, Teresa Amott is trying to normalize flunk day
it's my birthday. The flunk gods have been on my side for the past 2 years. Let's continue this trend, please.
CINCO DE FLUNKO
Rumor has it that the Neuro Rats have already begun wearing sombreros in anticipation <--CONFIRMED!
There is also nothing on the events calendar. And wouldn't wild wild flunk be totally applicable to Cinco de Mayo? You mean, CINCO DE FLUNKO????????
I prayed to the flunk gods last year that this would be the date of the Flunk shenanigans.
May 7
please please please - Allie Pritzl
The honors banquet is this day. Not possible.
May 9
Because JPow says so. <--FALSE!!! JPow's predictions are always after flunk. <----- Confirmed. I don't know why he doesn't start making earlier predictions.
JPOW always picks this day, next year it is a Saturday. Start stocking up now
May 13
I put my raffle guess in for this day. Therefore, flunk day. (I really want that tablet you guys) <--- Self-fulfilling prophecy? This could be HUGE
Late email, late RA meetings, late spring... maybe it will be a late flunk too!
May 14
Even Custodians don't know what day is Flunk Day. Perhaps it's this day. Custodians Schedule
May 31
Kyle Hall's Birthday. It'll be flunk day no matter what.
