GAA(A!)
Gamma Alpha Alpha Alpha Alpha Alpha or GAA(A!) is an unofficial fraternity.
Contents
Whereever two are gathered in GAA(A)
The members communicate with an involuntary form of telepathy. Whenever two GAA(A!)s enter close proximity, a third is forced to join. As soon as three are together, all others within 30 miles will be irrationally forced to join the congregation. These meetings often lead to shit getting fucked up.
Guiding Philosophies
Mission Statement
GAA(A!) does not and never will support philanthropy or academics in any way. Ever.
An art fraternity
GAA(A!) parties are always an outlet of creativity. GAA(A!) embraces everything from the fine art of physical aggression to poetry.
Notable events
Playing card poetry
During a particularly vibe-resonating GAA(A!) party in Old Hamblin 9, the members, drunk with art and alcohol, wrote poetry on a deck of cards.
Beaver-Bulldog-Whale
During Spring '07, a GAA(A) contingent went to The Broadview for physical and emotional reinforcement. After eating, Tom Fucoloro decided to try his hand at the claw machine, winning a plush animal of ambiguous race dressed in a Harley-Davidson jacket and hat. Tom thought it was a beaver, but Brian Lowe argued that due to its small tail and pointed teeth, it was in fact a bulldog. No firm consensus was ever come to. I think at some point someone called it a whale-fish-candle. The members burned the beaver-bulldog-whale in a sacrifice to GAA(A!) that same night outside ABLE.
Membership
GAA(A!) draws its members primarily from the Fourth Estate, the Fifth Column, and the Seventh Seal. GAA(A!) members are largely immmortal, largely.
GAA(A!) Alumni Association
The GAA(A!) Alumni Association (or GAA(A!)AA for short) maintains chapters across the country, wherever at least two GAA(A!) alumni members reside. Major chapters include Galesburg, Seattle, Washington, D.C., Portland, Oregon, Denver and Chicago.
List of members
The membership list is listed in order of induction.
| Name | GAA(A!) Name | |
| 1 | Geoff Brown | Uncle Joe Bucket |
| 1 | Howard Friedman | Johnny Chuckles |
| 1 | Tom Fucoloro | Pony Boy |
| 1 | Chris Prairie | The Animal |
| 5 | Alan Yi | Major Tom |
| 6 | Brian Lowe | Six Foot Android |
| 7 | Liza Fate | First Lady Jesus Christ |
| 8 | Pam Schuller | Koala Bear |
| 8 | Graham Troyer-Joy | Huckabee |
| 10 | Olivia Cacchione | Balsamic |
| 11 | Danny Fisher-Bruns | Cornelius |
| 12 | Brian Camozzi | El Presidente |
| 13 | Laura Zuber | Hashish |
| 14 | Flaming Angel | Honorary |
| 15 | Angharad Hollingworth | Tunafish |
| 16 | Freddie Mercury | Honorary |
| 17 | Madeleine Ettlin | Punky Brewster |
| 17 | Kate Schlachter | G-Force EXPLODE! |
| 19 | Bryce Friedman | Doctor Evil |
| 20 | Courtney Meaker | Giant Pulsating Vagina |
| 21 | Deana Rutherford | Blackjack |
| 21 | Tanya Ferguson | Rhinoceros Horn |
| 21 | Mark Munoz | Twenty-Five Tildes |
| 24 | Fela Anikulapo Kuti | Honorary |
| 25 | Matthew Lawton | Sideshow Bob |
| 26 | Selene Gonzalez | Queen of France |
| 27 | Emma Martin | Shrinking Ireland |
| 27 | Ted Osborne | Pooflinger |
| 29 | Selena Jones | Sheetrock |
| 30 | Kelli Refer | Battleaxe |
| 31 | Alice Holbrook | Blackout |
| 32 | Frankin Delano Roosevelt | Honorary |
| 33 | Joanna Angel | Honorary |
| 34 | Oscar Wilde | Honorary |
| 35 | Ashley Blazina | '91 Chevy Blazer |
| 35 | Vanessa Jeske | Bobby Fischer |
| 35 | Mariko Toyoji | Megatron |
| 38 | Anthony Hinrich | Mufasa |
| 39 | Caroline Claiborn | Rock Lobster |
| 40 | Zac Bahr | Ocelot |
| 41 | Kevin Wickman | Whisker Penny |
| 42 | Nicole Morgan | Loch Ness Monster |
| 43 | Ems Ginsburg | Geraldine Ferraro |
| 44 | Scott Offutt | Astroturf |
| 45 | Dirk Leichty | Peachy King |
| 46 | Jules Trachsel | Supply Sergeant Milo |
| 47 | Alex Roth | Groucho |
| 48 | Sam Bouman | Feldspar Unibrow |
| 48 | Josh Roberts | Suburban Milwaukee |
| 50 | Mike Callahan | Gator Fucker |
| 50 | Matt Schmalz | Douchebag |
| 52 | Free the Fox | Group Honorary |
| 52 | Brad Middleton | Heartburn Central (Honorary) |
| 54 | Megan Butler | Lions, Tigers, and Bears, Oh My! |
| 54 | Emily Jensen | 5-Hour Energy |
| 56 | Missy Sue | Slyvia |
| 57 | Mandy Gutmann-Gonzalez | Jovial Voyager |
| 58 | Angelo Kozonis | Mrs. Robinson |
| 59 | Morgan Campbell | Never Have I Ever |
| 60 | Reuven Perlman | Drum Circle |
| 61 | Bryce Parsons-Twesten | Santa Klaus |
| 62 | Noel Sherrard | Daughter Christmas |
| 63 | Will Gallmeyer | Platform Shoes or Wilt Chamberlain |
| 64 | Samir Bakshi | Sailor Bobby or Hibiscus |
| 65 | Andy Arnold | Big Red Wagon |
| 66 | Annie Zak | Newsprint |
| 67 | Sean Bullock | Liberace |
| 68 | Vicky Daza | Anarchist Formica |
| 69 | Sarah Lund | Buffy the Vampire Player |
| 70 | Hana Garner | Secondary Incisor |
| 71 | Abraham Diekhans-Mears | Pantera Meerkat |
| 72 | Keith Cork | Traffic Light |
| 73 | Nick Kalmus | Mermaid |
| 74 | Ariel Krietzmann | Phosphorescence |
| 75 | Zack Lencioni | Habenerial Disease |
| 76 | Robyn Ellis | Wobyn |
| 77 | Rachel Bernkopf | Prairie Fire Crotch |
| 78 | Renee Anderson | SWS MSS |
| 79 | Chris Barisevic | Uglee |
